There are few of us that are not rather ashamed of our sins and follies3 as we look out on the blessed morning sunlight, which comes to us like a bright-winged angel beckoning4 us to quit the old path of vanity that stretches its dreary5 length behind us; and Tina, little as she knew about doctrines6 and theories, seemed to herself to have been both foolish and wicked yesterday. Today she would try to be good; and when she knelt down to say her short prayer — the very form she had learned by heart when she was ten years old — she added, ‘O God, help me to bear it!’
That day the prayer seemed to be answered, for after some remarks on her pale looks at breakfast, Caterina passed the morning quietly, Miss Assher and Captain Wybrow being out on a riding excursion. In the evening there was a dinner-party, and after Caterina had sung a little, Lady Cheverel remembering that she was ailing7, sent her to bed, where she soon sank into a deep sleep. Body and mind must renew their force to suffer as well as to enjoy.
On the morrow, however, it was rainy, and every one must stay indoors; so it was resolved that the guests should be taken over the house by Sir Christopher, to hear the story of the architectural alterations8, the family portraits, and the family relics9. All the party, except Mr. Gilfil, were in the drawing-room when the proposition was made; and when Miss Assher rose to go, she looked towards Captain Wybrow, expecting to see him rise too; but he kept his seat near the fire, turning his eyes towards the newspaper which he had been holding unread in his hand.
‘Are you not coming, Anthony?’ said Lady Cheverel, noticing Miss Assher’s look of expectation.
‘I think not, if you’ll excuse me,’ he answered, rising and opening the door; ‘I feel a little chilled this morning, and I am afraid of the cold rooms and draughts10.’
Miss Assher reddened, but said nothing, and passed on, Lady Cheverel accompanying her.
Caterina was seated at work in the oriel window. It was the first time she and Anthony had been alone together, and she had thought before that he wished to avoid her. But now, surely, he wanted to speak to her — he wanted to say something kind. Presently he rose from his seat near the fire, and placed himself on the ottoman opposite to her.
‘Well, Tina, and how have you been all this long time?’ Both the tone and the words were an offence to her; the tone was so different from the old one, the words were so cold and unmeaning. She answered, with a little bitterness — ‘I think you needn’t ask. It doesn’t make much difference to you.’
‘Is that the kindest thing you have to say to me after my long absence?’
‘I don’t know why you should expect me to say kind things.’
Captain Wybrow was silent. He wished very much to avoid allusions11 to the past or comments on the present. And yet he wished to be well with Caterina. He would have liked to caress12 her, make her presents, and have her think him very kind to her. But these women are plaguy perverse13! There’s no bringing them to look rationally at anything. At last he said, ‘I hoped you would think all the better of me, Tina, for doing as I have done, instead of bearing malice14 towards me. I hoped you would see that it is the best thing for every one — the best for your happiness too.’
‘O pray don’t make love to Miss Assher for the sake of my happiness,’ answered Tina.
At this moment the door opened, and Miss Assher entered, to fetch her reticule, which lay on the harpsichord15. She gave a keen glance at Caterina, whose face was flushed, and saying to Captain Wybrow with a slight sneer16, ‘Since you are so chill I wonder you like to sit in the window,’ left the room again immediately.
The lover did not appear much discomposed, but sat quiet a little longer, and then, seating himself on the music-stool, drew it near to Caterina, and, taking her hand, said, ‘Come, Tina, look kindly17 at me, and let us be friends. I shall always be your friend.’
‘Thank you,’ said Caterina, drawing away her hand. ‘You are very generous. But pray move away. Miss Assher may come in again.’
‘Miss Assher be hanged!’ said Anthony, feeling the fascination18 of old habit returning on him in his proximity19 to Caterina. He put his arm round her waist, and leaned his cheek down to hers. The lips couldn’t help meeting after that; but the next moment, with heart swelling20 and tears rising, Caterina burst away from him, and rushed out of the room.
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1
abated
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| 减少( abate的过去式和过去分词 )； 减去； 降价； 撤消（诉讼） | |
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2
longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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3
follies
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| 罪恶，时事讽刺剧； 愚蠢，蠢笨，愚蠢的行为、思想或做法( folly的名词复数 ) | |
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4
beckoning
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| adj.引诱人的，令人心动的v.（用头或手的动作）示意，召唤( beckon的现在分词 ) | |
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5
dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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6
doctrines
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| n.教条( doctrine的名词复数 )；教义；学说；（政府政策的）正式声明 | |
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7
ailing
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| v.生病 | |
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8
alterations
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| n.改动( alteration的名词复数 )；更改；变化；改变 | |
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9
relics
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| [pl.］n.遗物，遗迹，遗产；遗体，尸骸 | |
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10
draughts
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| n. <英>国际跳棋 | |
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11
allusions
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| 暗指，间接提到( allusion的名词复数 ) | |
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12
caress
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| vt./n.爱抚，抚摸 | |
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13
perverse
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| adj.刚愎的；坚持错误的，行为反常的 | |
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14
malice
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| n.恶意，怨恨，蓄意；[律]预谋 | |
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15
harpsichord
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| n.键琴（钢琴前身） | |
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16
sneer
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| v.轻蔑；嘲笑；n.嘲笑，讥讽的言语 | |
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17
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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18
fascination
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| n.令人着迷的事物，魅力，迷恋 | |
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19
proximity
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| n.接近，邻近 | |
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20
swelling
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| n.肿胀 | |
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