Alas7! it was enough I knew his pleasure to submit joyfully8 to him, whatever pain I foresaw it would cost me.
He now resumes his attempts in more form: first, he put one of the pillows under me, to give the blank of his aim a more favourable10 elevation11, and another under my head, in ease of it; then spreading my thighs12, and placing himself standing13 between them, made them rest upon his hips14; applying then the point of his machine to the slit15, into which he sought entrance: it was so small, he could scarce assure himself of its being rightly pointed16. He looks, he feels, and satisfies himself: the driving forward with fury, its prodigious17 stiffness, thus impacted, wedgelike, breaks the union of those parts, and gain’d him just the insertion of the tip of it, lip-deep; which being sensible of, he improved his advantage, and following well his stroke, in a straight line, forcibly deepens his penetration18; but put me to such intolerable pain, from the separation of the sides of that soft passage by a hard thick body, I could have scream’d out; but, as I was unwilling19 to alarm the house, I held in my breath, and cramm’d my petticoat, which was turn’d up over my face, into my mouth, and bit it through in the agony. At length, the tender texture20 of that tract21 giving way to such fierce tearing and rending22, he pierc’d something further into me: and now, outrageous23 and no longer his own master, but borne headlong away by the fury and over-mettle of that member, now exerting itself with a kind of native rage, he breaks in, carries all before him, and one violent merciless lunge sent it, imbrew’d, and reeking24 with virgin3 blood, up to the very hilt in me . . . Then! then all my resolution deserted25 me: I scream’d out, and fainted away with the sharpness of the pain; and, as he told me afterwards, on his drawing out, when emission27 was over with him, my thighs were instantly all in a stream of blood that flow’d from the wounded torn passage.
When I recover’d my senses, I found myself undress’d, and a-bed, in the arms of the sweet relenting murderer of my virginity, who hung mourning tenderly over me, and holding in his hand a cordial, which, coming from the still dear author of so much pain, I could not refuse; my eyes, however, moisten’d with tears, and languishingly29 turn’d upon him, seemed to reproach him with his cruelty, and ask him if such were the rewards of love. But Charles, to whom I was now infinitely31 endear’d by this complete triumph over a maidenhead, where he so little expected to find one, in tenderness to that pain which he had put me to, in procuring32 himself the height of pleasure, smother’d his exultation33, and employ’d himself with so much sweetness, so much warmth, to sooth, to caress34, and comfort me in my soft complainings, which breath’d, indeed, more love than resentment35, that I presently drown’d all sense of pain in the pleasure of seeing him, of thinking that I belong’d to him: he who was now the absolute disposer of my happiness, and, in one word, my fate.
The sore was, however, too tender, the wound too bleeding fresh, for Charles’s good-nature to put my patience presently to another trial; but as I could not stir, or walk across the room, he order’d the dinner to be brought to the bed-side, where it could not be otherwise than my getting down the wing of a fowl36, and two or three glasses of wine, since it was my ador’d youth who both serv’d, and urged them on me, with that sweet irresistible37 authority with which love had invested him over me.
After dinner, and as everything but the wine was taken away, Charles very impudently38 asks a leave, he might read the grant of in my eyes, to come to bed to me, and accordingly falls to undressing; which I could not see the progress of without strange emotions of fear and pleasure.
He is now in bed with me the first time, and in broad day; but when thrusting up his own shirt and my shift, he laid his naked glowing body to mine . . . oh! insupportable delight! oh! superhuman rapture40! what pain could stand before a pleasure so transporting? I felt no more the smart of my wounds below; but, curling round him like the tendril of a vine, as if I fear’d any part of him should be untouch’d or unpress’d by me, I return’d his strenuous41 embraces and kisses with a fervour and gust42 only known to true love, and which mere43 lust44 could never rise to.
Yes, even at this time, when all the tyranny of the passions is fully9 over and my veins45 roll no longer but a cold tranquil46 stream, the remembrance of those passages that most affected47 me in my youth, still cheers and refreshes me. Let me proceed then. My beauteous youth was now glew’d to me in all the folds and twists that we could make our bodies meet in; when, no longer able to rein48 in the fierceness of refresh’d desires, he gives his steed the head and gently insinuating49 his thighs between mine, stopping my mouth with kisses of humid fire, makes a fresh irruption, and renewing his thrusts, pierces, tears, and forces his way up the torn tender folds that yielded him admission with a smart little less severe that when the breach50 was first made. I stifled51, however, my cries, and bore him with the passive fortitude52 of a heroine; soon his thrusts, more and more furious, cheeks flush’d with a deeper scarlet53, his eyes turn’d up in the fervent54 fit, some dying sighs, and an agonizing55 shudder56, announced the approaches of that extatic pleasure, I was yet in too much pain to come in for my share of it.
Nor was it till after a few enjoyments57 had numb59’d and blunted the sense of the smart, and given me to feel the titillating60 inspersion of balsamic sweets, drew from me the delicious return, and brought down all my passion, that I arrived at excess of pleasure through excess of pain. But, when successive engagements had broke and inur’d me, I began to enter into the true unallay’d relish61 of that pleasure of pleasures, when the warm gush62 darts63 through all the ravish’d inwards; what floods of bliss64! what melting transports! what agonies of delight! too fierce, too mighty65 for nature to sustain; well has she therefore, no doubt, provided the relief of a delicious momentary66 dissolution, the approaches of which are intimated by a dear delirium67, a sweet thrill on the point of emitting those liquid sweets, in which enjoyment58 itself is drown’d, when one gives the languishing28 stretch-out, and dies at the discharge.
How often, when the rage and tumult68 of my senses had subsided69 after the melting flow, have I, in a tender meditation70 ask’d myself coolly the question, if it was in nature for any of its creatures to be so happy as I was? Or, what were all fears of the consequence, put in the scale of one night’s enjoyment of any thing so transcendently the taste of my eyes and heart, as that delicious, fond, matchless youth?
Thus we spent the whole afternoon till supper time in a continued circle of love delights, kissing, turtle-billing, toying, and all the rest of the feast. At length, supper was serv’d in, before which Charles had, for I do not know what reason, slipt his cloaths on; and sitting down by the bed-side, we made table and table-cloth of the bed and sheets, whilst he suffer’d nobody to attend or serve but himself. He ate with a very good appetite, and seem’d charm’d to see me eat. For my part, I was so enchanted71 with my fortune, so transported with the comparison of the delights I now swam in, with the insipidity72 of all my past scenes of life, that I thought them sufficiently73 cheap at even the price of my ruin, or the risk of their not lasting74. The present possession was all my little head could find room for.
We lay together that night, when, after playing repeated prizes of pleasure, nature, overspent and satisfy’d, gave us up to the arms of sleep: those of my dear youth encircled me, the consciousness of which made even that sleep more delicious.
Late in the morning I wak’d first; and observing my lover slept profoundly, softly disengag’d myself from his arms, scarcely daring to breathe for fear of shortening his repose75; my cap, my hair, my shift, were all in disorder76 from the rufflings I had undergone; and I took this opportunity to adjust and set them as well as I could: whilst, every now and then, looking at the sleeping youth with inconceivable fondness and delight, and reflecting on all the pain he had put me to, tacitly own’d that the pleasure had overpaid me for my sufferings.
It was then broad day. I was sitting up in the bed, the cloaths of which were all tossed, or rolled off, by the unquietness of our motions, from the sultry heat of the weather; nor could I refuse myself a pleasure that solicited77 me so irresistibly78, as this fair occasion of feasting my sight with all those treasures of youthful beauty I had enjoy’d, and which lay now almost entirely naked, his shirt being truss’d up in a perfect wisp, which the warmth of the room and season made me easy about the consequence of. I hung over him enamour’d indeed! and devoured79 all his naked charms with only two eyes, when I could have wish’d them at least a hundred, for the fuller enjoyment of the gaze.
Oh! could I paint his figure as I see it now, still present to my transported imagination! a whole length of an allperfect, manly80 beauty in full view. Think of a face without a fault, glowing with all the opening bloom and vernal freshness of an age in which beauty is of either sex, and which the first down over his upper lip scarce began to distinguish.
The parting of the double ruby81 pout82 of his lips seem’d to exhale83 an air sweeter and purer than what it drew in: ah! what violence did it not cost me to refrain the so tempted84 kiss!
Then a neck exquisitely85 turn’d, grac’d behind and on the sides with his hair, playing freely in natural ringlets, connected his head to a body of the most perfect form, and of the most vigorous contexture, in which all the strength of manhood was conceal’d and soften’d to appearance by the delicacy87 of his complexion88, the smoothness of his skin, and the plumpness of his flesh.
The platform of his snow-white bosom89, that was laid out in a manly proportion, presented, on the vermilion summit of each pap, the idea of a rose about to blow.
Nor did his shirt hinder me from observing that symmetry of his limbs, that exactness of shape, in the fall of it towards the loins, where the waist ends and the rounding swell91 of the hips commences; where the skin, sleek92, smooth, and dazzling white, burnishes93 on the stretch over firm, plump, ripe flesh, that crimp’d and ran into dimples at the least pressure, or that the touch could not rest upon, but slid over as on the surface of the most polished ivory.
His thighs, finely fashioned, and with a florid glossy95 roundness, gradually tapering96 away to the knees, seem’d pillars worthy97 to support that beauteous frame; at the bottom of which I could not, without some remains98 of terror, some tender emotions too, fix my eyes on that terrible machine, which had, not long before, with such fury broke into, torn, and almost ruin’d those soft, tender parts of mine that had not yet done smarting with the effects of its rage; but behold99 it now! crest100 fall’n, reclining its half-capt vermilion head over one of his thighs, quiet, pliant101, and to all appearance incapable102 of the mischiefs104 and cruelty it had committed. Then the beautiful growth of the hair, in short and soft curls round its root, its whiteness, branch’d veins, the supple105 softness of the shaft106, as it lay foreshort’d, roll’d and shrunk up into a squab thickness, languid, and borne up from between his thighs by its globular appendage107, that wondrous108 treasure-bag of nature’s sweets, which, rivell’d round, and purs’d up in the only wrinkles that are known to please, perfected the prospect109, and all together formed the most interesting moving picture in nature, and surely infinitely superior to those nudities furnish’d by ]the painters, statuaries, or any art, which are purchas’d at immense prices; whilst the sight of them in actual life is scarce sovereignly tasted by any but the few whom nature has endowed with a fire of imagination, warmly pointed by a truth of judgment110 to the spring-head, the originals of beauty, of nature’s unequall’d composition, above all the imitation of art, or the reach of wealth to pay their price.
But every thing must have an end. A motion made by this angelic youth, in the listlessness of going off sleep, replac’d his shirt and the bed-cloaths in a posture111 that shut up that treasure from longer view.
I lay down then, and carrying my hands to that part of me in which the objects just seen had begun to raise a mutiny that prevail’d over the smart of them, my fingers now open’d themselves an easy passage; but long I had not time to consider the wide difference there, between the maid and the now finish’d woman, before Charles wak’d, and turning towards me, kindly112 enquir’d how I had rested? and, scarce giving me time to answer, imprinted113 on my lips one of his burning rapture-kisses, which darted114 a flame to my heart, that from thence radiated to every part of me; and presently, as if he had proudly meant revenge for the survey I had smuggled115 of all his naked beauties, he spurns116 off the bedcloaths, and trussing up my shift as high as it would go, took his turn to feast his eyes on all the gifts nature had bestow’d on my person; his busy hands, too, rang’d intemperately117 over every part of me. The delicious austerity and hardness of my yet unripe118 budding breasts, the whiteness and firmness of my flesh, the freshness and regularity119 of my features, the harmony of my limbs, all seem’d to confirm him in his satisfaction with his bargain; but when curious to explore the havoc120 he had made in the centre of his overfierce attack, he not only directed his hands there, but with a pillow put under, placed me favourably121 for his wanton purpose of inspection122. Then, who can express the fire his eyes glisten’d, his hands glow’d with! whilst sighs of pleasure, and tender broken exclamations123, were all the praises he could utter. By this time his machine, stiffly risen at me, gave me to see it in its highest state and bravery. He feels it himself, seems pleas’d at its condition, and, smiling loves and graces, seizes one of my hands, and carries it, with a gentle compulsion, to his pride of nature, and its richest masterpiece.
I, struggling faintly, could not help feeling what I could not grasp, a column of the whitest ivory, beautifully streak’d with blue veins, and carrying, fully uncapt, a head of the liveliest vermilion: no horn could be harder or stiffer; yet no velvet124 more smooth or delicious to the touch. Presently he guided my hand lower, to that part in which nature and pleasure keep their stores in concert, so aptly fasten’d and hung on to the root of their first instrument and minister, that not improperly125 he might be styl’d their purse-bearer too: there he made me feel distinctly, through their soft cover, the contents, a pair of roundish balls, that seem’d to play within, and elude126 all pressure but the tenderest, from without.
But now this visit of my soft warm hand in those so sensible parts had put every thing into such ungovernable fury that, disdaining127 all further preluding, and taking advantage of my commodious128 posture, he made the storm fall where I scarce patiently expected, and where he was sure to lay it: presently, then, I felt the stiff insertion between the yielding, divided lips of the wound, now open for life; where the narrowness no longer put me to intolerable pain, and afforded my lover no more difficulty than what heighten’d his pleasure, in the strict embrace of that tender, warm sheath, round the instrument it was so delicately adjusted to, and which, now cased home, so gorged130 me with pleasure that it perfectly131 suffocated132 me and took away my breath; then the killing133 thrusts! the unnumber’d kisses! every one of which was a joy inexpressible; and that joy lost in a crowd of yet greater blisses! But this was a disorder too violent in nature to last long: the vessels134, so stirr’d and intensely heated, soon boil’d over, and for that time put out the fire; meanwhile all this dalliance and disport135 had so far consum’d the morning, that it became a kind of necessity to lay breakfast and dinner into one.
In our calmer intervals136 Charles gave the following account of himself, every word of which was true. He was the only son of a father who, having a small post in the revenue, rather over-liv’d his income, and had given this young gentleman a very slender education: no profession had he bred him up to, but design’d to provide for him in the army, by purchasing him an ensign’s commission, that is to say, provided he could raise the money, or procure137 it by interest, either of which clauses was rather to be wish’d than hoped for by him. On no better a plan, however, had this improvident138 father suffer’d this youth, a youth of great promise, to run up to the age of manhood, or near it at least, in next to idleness; and had, besides, taken no sort of pains to give him even the common premonitions against the vices139 of the town, and the dangers of all sorts, which wait the unexperienc’d and unwary in it. He liv’d at home, and at discretion141, with his father, who himself kept a mistress; and for the rest, provided Charles did not ask him for money, he was indolently kind to him: he might lie out when he pleas’d; any excuse would serve, and even his reprimands were so slight that they carried with them rather an air of connivance142 at the fault than any serious control or constraint143. But, to supply his calls for money, Charles, whose mother was dead, had, by her side, a grandmother who doted upon him. She had a considerable annuity144 to live on, and very regularly parted with every shilling she could spare to this darling of hers, to the no little heart-burn of his father; who was vex’d, not that she by this means fed his son’s extravagance, but that she preferr’d Charles to himself; and we shall too soon see what a fatal turn such a mercenary jealousy145 could operate in the breast of a father.
Charles was, however, by the means of his grandmother’s lavish146 fondness, very sufficiently enabled to keep a mistress so easily contented147 as my love made me; and my good fortune, for such I must ever call it, threw me in his way, in the manner above related, just as he was on the look-out for one.
As to temper, the even sweetness of it made him seem born for domestic happiness: tender, naturally polite, and gentle-manner’d; it could never be his fault if ever jars or animosities ruffled148 a calm he was so qualified149 in every way to maintain or restore. Without those great or shining qualities that constitute a genius, or are fit to make a noise in the world, he had all those humble150 ones that compose the softer social merit: plain common sense, set off with every grace of modesty151 and good nature, made him, if not admir’d, what is much happier, universally belov’d and esteem’d. But, as nothing but the beauties of his person had at first attracted my regard and fix’d my passion, neither was I then a judge of that internal merit, which I had afterward26 full occasion to discover, and which perhaps, in that season of giddiness and levity152, would have touch’d my heart very little, had it been lodg’d in a person less the delight of my eyes and idol153 of my senses. But to return to our situation.
After dinner, which we ate a-bed in a most voluptuous154 disorder, Charles got up, and taking a passionate155 leave of me for a few hours, he went to town where, concerting matters with a young sharp lawyer, they went together to my late venerable mistress’s, from whence I had, but the day before, made my elopement, and with whom he was determin’d to settle accounts in a manner that should cut off all after reckonings from that quarter.
Accordingly they went; but on the way, the Templar, his friend, on thinking over Charles’s information, saw reason to give their visit another turn, and, instead of offering satisfaction, to demand it.
On being let in, the girls of the house flock’d round Charles, whom they knew, and from the earliness of my escape, and their perfect ignorance of his ever having so much as seen me, not having the least suspicion of his being accessory to my flight, they were, in their way, making up to him; and as to his companion, they took him probably for a fresh cully. But the Templar soon check’d their forwardness, by enquiring156 for the old lady, with whom, he said, with a grave judge-like countenance157, that he had some business to settle.
Madam was immediately sent down for, and the ladies being desir’d to clear the room, the lawyer ask’d her, severely159, if she did know, or had not decoy’d, under pretence2 of hiring as a servant, a young girl, just come out of the country, called FRANCES or FANNY HILL, describing me withal as particularly as he could from Charles’s description.
It is peculiar160 to vice140 to tremble at the enquiries of justice; and Mrs. Brown, whose conscience was not entirely clear upon my account, as knowing as she was of the town, as hackney’s as she was in bluffing161 through all the dangers of her vocation162, could not help being alarm’d at the question, especially when he went on to talk of a Justice of peace, Newgate, the Old Bailey, indictments163 for keeping a disorderly house, pillory164, carting, and the whole process of that nature. She, who, it is likely, imagin’d I had lodg’d an information against her house, look’d extremely blank, and began to make a thousand protestations and excuses. However, to abridge165, they brought away triumphantly166 my box of things, which, had she not been under an awe167, she might have disputed with them; and not only that; but a clearance168 and discharge of any demands on the house, at the expense of no more than a bowl of arrack-punch, the treat of which, together with the choice of the house conveniences, was offer’d and not accepted. Charles all the time acted the chance-companion of the lawyer, who had brought him there, as he knew the house, and appear’d in no wise interested in the issue; but he had the collateral169 pleasure of hearing all that I had told him verified, so far as the bawd’s fears would give her leave to enter into my history, which, if one may guess by the composition she so readily came into, were not small.
Phoebe, my kind tutoress Phoebe, was at that time gone out, perhaps in search of me, or their cook’d-up story had not, it is probable, pass’d so smoothly170.
This negotiation171 had, however, taken up some time, which would have appear’d much longer to me, left as I was, in a strange house, if the landlady172, a motherly sort of a woman, to whom Charles had liberally recommended me, had not come up and borne me company. We drank tea, and her chat help’d to pass away the time very agreeably, since he was our theme; but as the evening deepened, and the hour set for his return was elaps’d, I could not dispel173 the gloom of impatience174 and tender fears which gathered upon me, and which our timid sex are apt to feel in proportion to their love.
Long, however, I did not suffer: the sight of him over-paid me; and the soft reproach I had prepar’d for him expired before it reach’d my lips.
I was still a-bed, yet unable to use my legs otherwise than awkwardly, and Charles flew to me, catched me in his arms, rais’d and extending mine to meet his dear embrace, and gives me an account, interrupted by many a sweet parenthesis175 of kisses, of the success of his measures.
I could not help laughing at the fright the old woman had been put into, which my ignorance, and indeed my want of innocence176, had far from prepar’d me for bespeaking177. She had, it seems, apprehended178 that I fled for shelter to some relation I had recollected179 in town, on my dislike of their ways and proceeding180 towards me, and that this application came from thence; for, as Charles had rightly judg’d not one neighbour had, at that still hour, seen the circumstance of my escape into the coach, or, at least, notic’d him; neither had any in the house the least hint or clue of suspicion of my having spoke181 to him, much less of my having clapt up such a sudden bargain with a perfect stranger: thus the greatest improbability is not always what we should most mistrust.
We supped with all the gaiety of two young giddy creatures at the top of their desires; and as I had most joyfully given up to Charles the whole charge of my future happiness, I thought of nothing beyond the exquisite86 pleasure of possessing him.
He came to bed in due time; and this second night, the pain being pretty well over, I tasted, in full draughts182, all the transports of perfect enjoyment: I swam, I bathed in bliss, till both fell fast asleep, through the natural consequences of satisfied desires, and appeas’d flames; nor did we wake but to renew’d raptures183.
Thus, making the most of love and life, did we stay in this lodging184 in Chelsea about ten days; in which time Charles took care to give his excursions from home a favourable gloss94, and to keep his footing with his fond indulgent grandmother, from whom he drew constant and sufficient supplies for the charge I was to him, and which was very trifling185, in comparision with his former less regular course of pleasures.
Charles remov’d me then to a private ready furnish’d lodging in D—— street, St. James’s, where he paid half a guinea a week for two rooms and a closet on the second floor, which he had been some time looking out for, and was more convenient for the frequency of his visits than where he had at first plac’d me, in a house which I cannot say but I left with regret, as it was infinitely endear’d to me by the first possession of my Charles, and the circumstance of losing, there, that jewel which can never be twice lost. The landlord, however, had no reason to complain of any thing, but of a procedure in Charles too liberal not to make him regret the loss of us.
Arrived at our new lodgings186, I remember I thought them extremely fine, though ordinary enough, even at that price; but, had it been a dungeon187 that Charles had brought me to, his presence would have made it a little Versailles.
The landlady, Mrs. Jones, waited on us to our apartment, and with great volubility of tongue explain’d to us all its conveniences — that her own maid should wait on us . . . that the best of quality had lodg’d at her house . . . that her first floor was let to a foreign secretary of an embassy, and his lady . . . that I looked like a very goodnatur’d lady. . . . At the word lady, I blush’d out of flatter’d vanity: this was too strong for a girl of my condition; for though Charles had had the precaution of dressing39 me in a less tawdry flaunting188 style than were the cloaths I escap’d to him in, and of passing me for his wife, that he had secretly married, and kept private (the old story) on account of his friends, I dare swear this appear’d extremely apocryphal to a woman who knew the town so well as she did; but that was the least of her concern. It was impossible to be less scruple-ridden than she was; and the advantage of letting her rooms being her sole object, the truth itself would have far from scandaliz’d her, or broke her bargain.
A sketch189 of her picture, and personal history, will dispose you to account for the part she is to act in my concerns.
She was about forty-six years old, tall, meagre, redhair’d, with one of those trivial ordinary faces you meet with everywhere, and go about unheeded and unmentioned. In her youth she had been kept by a gentleman who, dying, left her forty pounds a year during her life, in consideration of a daughter he had by her; which daughter, at the age of seven-teen, she sold, for not a very considerable sum neither, to a gentleman who was going on Envoy190 abroad, and took his purchase with him, where he us’d her with the utmost tenderness, and it is thought, was secretly married to her: but had constantly made a point of her not keeping up the least correspondence with a mother base enough to make a market of her own flesh and blood. However, as she had no nature, nor, indeed, any passion but that of money, this gave her no further uneasiness, than, as she thereby191 lost a handle of squeezing presents, or other after-advantages, out of the bargain. Indifferent then, by nature of constitution, to every other pleasure but that of increasing the lump by any means whatever, she commenc’d a kind of private procuress, for which she was not amiss fitted, by her grave decent appearance, and sometimes did a job in the match-making way; in short, there was nothing that appear’d to her under the shape of gain that she would not have undertaken. She knew most of the ways of the town, having not only herself been upon, but kept up constant intelligences in it, dealing192, besides her practice in promoting a harmony between the two sexes, in private pawn-broking and other profitable secrets. She rented the house she liv’d in, and made the most of it by letting it out in lodgings; though she was worth, at least, near three or four thousand pounds, she would not allow herself even the necessaries of life, and pinn’d her subsistence entirely on what she could squeeze out of her lodgers193.
When she saw such a young pair come under her roof, her immediate158 notions, doubtless, were how she should make the most money of us, by every means that money might be made, and which, she rightly judged, our situation and inexperience would soon beget194 her occasions of.
In this hopeful sanctuary195, and under the clutches of this harpy, did we pitch our residence. It will not be mighty material to you, or very pleasant to me, to enter into a detail of all the petty cut-throat ways and means with which she used to fleece us; all which Charles indolently chose to bear with, rather than take the trouble of removing, the difference of expense being scarce attended to by a young gentleman who had no idea of stint196, or even of economy, and a raw country girl who knew nothing of the matter.
Here, however, under the wings of my sovereignly belov’d, did I flow the most delicious hours of my life; my Charles I had, and, in him, everything my fond heart could wish or desire. He carried me to plays, operas, masquerades, and every diversion of the town; all of which pleas’d me indeed, but pleas’d me infinitely the more for his being with me, and explaining everything to me, and enjoying, perhaps, the natural impressions of surprize and admiration197, which such sights, at the first, never fail to excite in a country girl, new to the delights of them; but to me, they sensibly prov’d the power and full dominion198 of the sole passion of my heart over me, a passion in which soul and body were concentre’d, and left me no room for any other relish of life but love.
As to the men I saw at those places, or at any other, they suffer’d so much in the comparison my eyes made of them with my all-perfect Adonis, that I had not the infidelity even of one wandering thought to reproach myself with upon his account. He was the universe to me, and all that was not him was nothing to me.
My love, in fine, was so excessive, that it arriv’d at annihilating199 every suggestion or kindling200 spark of jealousy; for, one idea only tending that way, gave me such exquisite torment201 that my self-love, and dread202 of worse than death, made me for ever renounce203 and defy it: nor had I, indeed, occasion; for, were I to enter here on the recital204 of several instances wherein Charles sacrific’d to me women of greater importance than I dare hint (which, considering his form, was no such wonder), I might, indeed, give you full proof of his unshaken constancy to me; but would not you accuse me of warming up again a feast that my vanity ought long ago to have been satisfy’d with?
In our cessations from active pleasure, Charles fram’d himself one, in instructing me, as far as his own lights reach’d, in a great many points of life that I was, in consequence of my no-education, perfectly ignorant of: nor did I suffer one word to fall in vain from the mouth of my lovely teacher: I hung on every syllable205 he utter’d, and receiv’d as oracles206, all he said; whilst kisses were all the interruption I could not refuse myself the pleasure of admitting, from lips that breath’d more than Arabian sweetness.
I was in a little time enabled, by the progress I had made, to prove the deep regard I had paid to all that he had said to me: repeating it to him almost word for word; and to shew that I was not entirely the parrot, but that I reflected upon, that I enter’d into it, I join’d my own comments, and ask’d him questions of explanation.
My country accent, and the rusticity207 of my gait, manners, and deportment, began now sensibly to wear off, so quick was my observation, and so efficacious my desire of growing every day worthier208 of his heart.
As to money, though he brought me constantly all he receiv’d, it was with difficulty he even got me to give it room in my bureau; and what clothes I had, he could prevail on me to accept of on no other foot than that of pleasing him by the greater neatness in my dress, beyond which I had no ambition. I could have made a pleasure of the greatest toil209, and worked my fingers to the bone, with joy, to have supported him: guess, then, if I could harbour any idea of being burdensome to him, and this disinterested210 turn in me was so unaffected, so much the dictate211 of my heart, that Charles could not but feel it: and if he did not love me as I did him (which was the constant and only matter of sweet contention212 between us), he manag’d so, at least, as to give me the satisfaction of believing it impossible for man to be more tender, more true, more faithful than he was.
Our landlady, Mrs. Jones, came frequently up to my apartment, from whence I never stirr’d on any pretext213 without Charles; nor was it long before she worm’d out, without much art, the secret of our having cheated the church of a ceremony, and, in course, of the terms we liv’d together upon; a circumstance which far from displeas’d her, considering the designs she had upon me, and which, alas! she will, too soon, have room to carry into execution. But in the mean time, her own experience of life let her see that any attempt, however indirect or disguis’d to divert or break, at least presently, so strong a cement of hearts as ours was, could only end in losing two lodgers, of whom she made very competent advantages, if either of us came to smoke her commission; for a commission she had from one of her customers, either to debauch214, or get me away from my keeper at any rate.
But the barbarity of my fate soon sav’d her the task of disuniting us. I had now been eleven months with this life of my life, which had passed in one continu’d rapid stream of delight: but nothing so violent was ever made to last. I was about three months gone with child by him, a circumstance which would have added to his tenderness had he ever left me room to believe it could receive an addition, when the mortal, the unexpected blow of separation fell upon us. I shall gallop215 post over the particulars, which I shudder yet to think of, and cannot to this instant reconcile myself how, or by what means, I could out-live it.
Two life-long days had I linger’d through without hearing from him, I who breath’d, who existed but in him, and had never yet seen twenty-four hours pass without seeing or hearing from him. The third day my impatience was so strong, my alarms had been so severe, that I perfectly sicken’d with them; and being unable to support the shock longer, I sunk upon the bed and ringing for Mrs. Jones, who had far from comforted me under my anxieties, she came up. I had scarce breath and spirit enough to find words to beg of her, if she would save my life, to fall upon some means of finding out, instantly, what was become of its only prop90 and comfort. She pity’d me in a way that rather sharpen’d my affliction than suspended it, and went out upon this commission.
Far she had not to go: Charles’s father lived but at an easy distance, in one of the streets that run into Covent Garden. There she went into a publick house, and from thence sent for a maid-servant, whose name I had given her, as the properest to inform her.
The maid readily came, and as readily, when Mrs. Jones enquir’d of her what was become of Mr. Charles, or whether he was gone out of town, acquainted her with the disposal of her master’s son, which, the very day after, was no secret to the servants. Such sure measures had he taken, for the most cruel punishment of his child for having more interest with his grandmother than he had, though he made use of a pretense216, plausible217 enough, to get rid of him in this secret and abrupt218 manner, for fear her fondness should have interpos’d a bar to his leaving England, and proceeding on a voyage he had concerted for him; which pretext was, that it was indispensably necessary to secure a considerable inheritance that devolv’d to him by the death of a rich merchant (his own brother) at one of the factories in the South-Seas, of which he had lately receiv’d advice, together with a copy of the will.
In consequence of which resolution to send away his son, he had, unknown to him, made the necessary preparations for fitting him out, struck a bargain with the captain of a ship, whose punctual execution of his orders he had secured, by his interest with his principal owner and patron; and, in short, concerted his measures so secretly and effectually that whilst his son thought he was going down the river for a few hours, he was stopt on board of a ship, debar’d from writing, and more strictly219 watch’d than a State criminal.
Thus was the idol of my soul torn from me, and forc’d on a long voyage, without taking of one friend, or receiving one line of comfort, except a dry explanation and instructions, from his father, how to proceed when he should arrive at his destin’d port, enclosing, withal, some letters of recommendation to a factor there: all these particulars I did not learn minutely till some time after.
The maid, at the same time, added that she was sure this usage of her sweet young master would be the death of his grand-mama, as indeed it prov’d true; for the old lady, on hearing it, did not survive the news a whole month; and as her fortune consisted in an annuity, out of which she had laid up no reserves, she left nothing worth mentioning to her so fatally envied darling, but absolutely refus’d to see his father before she died.
When Mrs. Jones return’d and I observ’d her looks, they seem’d so unconcern’d, and even near to pleas’d, that I half flatter’d myself she was going to set my tortur’d heart at ease by bringing me good news; but this, indeed, was a cruel delusion220 of hope: the barbarian221, with all the coolness imaginable, stab’d me to the heart, in telling me, succinctly222, that he was sent away at least on a four years’ voyage (here she stretch’d maliciously), and that I could not expect, in reason, ever to see him again: and all this with such prenant circumstances that I could not help giving them credit, as in general they were, indeed, too true!
She had hardly finish’d her report before I fainted away and after several successive fits, all the while wild and senseless, I miscarried of the dear pledge of my Charles’s love: but the wretched never die when it is fittest they should die, and women are hard-liv’d to a proverb.
The cruel and interested care taken to recover me sav’d an odious129 life: which, instead of the happiness and joys it had overflow’d in, all of a sudden presented no view before me of any thing but the depth of misery223, horror, and the sharpest affliction.
Thus I lay six weeks, in the struggles of youth and constitution, against the friendly efforts of death, which I constantly invoked224 to my relief and deliverance, but which proving too weak for my wish, I recovered at length, tho’ into a state of stupefaction and despair that threatened me with the loss of my senses, and a mad-house.
Time, however, that great comforter in ordinary, began to assuage225 the violence of my sufferings, and to numb my feeling of them. My health return’d to me, though I still retain’d an air of grief, dejection, and languor226, which taking off the ruddiness of my country complexion, render’d it rather more delicate and affecting.
The landlady had all this while officiously provided, and taken care that I wanted for nothing: and as soon as she saw me retriev’d into a condition of answering her purpose, one day, after we had dined together, she congratulated me on my recovery, the merit of which she took entirely to herself, and all this by way of introduction to a most terrible and scurvy227 epilogue: “You are now,” says she, “Miss Fanny, tolerably well, and you are very welcome to stay in the lodgings as long as you please; you see I have ask’d you for nothing this long time, but truly I have a call to make up a sum of money, which must be answer’d.” And, with that, presents me with a bill of arrears228 for rent, diet, apothecary’s charges, nurse, etc., sum total twenty-three pounds, seventeen and six-pence: towards discharging of which, I had not in the world (which she well knew) more than seven guineas, left by chance, of my dear Charles’s common stock with me. At the same time, she desir’d me to tell her what course I would take for payment. I burst out into a flood of tears and told her my condition; adding that I would sell what few cloaths I had, and that, for the rest, I would pay her as soon as possible. But my distress229, being favourable to her views, only stiffen’d her the more.
She told me, very coolly, that “she was indeed sorry for my misfortunes, but that she must do herself justice, though it would go to the very heart of her to send such a tender young creature to prison . . .” At the word “prison!” every drop of my blood chill’d, and my fright acted so strongly upon me, that, turning as pale and faint as a criminal at the first sight of his place of execution, I was on the point of swooning. My landlady, who wanted only to terrify me to a certain point, and not to throw me into a state of body inconsistent with her designs upon it, began to soothe230 me again, and told me, in a tone compos’d to more pity and gentleness, that it would be my own fault, if she was forc’d to proceed to such extremities231; but she believ’d there was a friend to be found in the world who would make up matters to both our satisfactions, and that she would bring him to drink tea with us that very afternoon, when she hoped we would come to a right understanding in our affairs. To all this, not a word of answer; I sat mute, confounded, terrify’d.
Mrs. Jones however, judging rightly that it was time to strike while the impressions were so strong upon me, left me to my self and to all the terrors of an imagination, wounded to death by the idea of going to a prison, and, from a principle of self-preservation, snatching at every glimpse of redemption from it.
In this situation I sat near half an hour, swallow’d up in grief and despair, when my landlady came in, and observing a death-like dejection in my countenance and still in pursuance of her plan, put on a false pity, and bidding me be of a good heart: Things, she said, would not be so bad as I imagined if I would be but my own friend; and closed with telling me she had brought a very honourable232 gentleman to drink tea with me, who would give me the best advice how to get rid of all my troubles. Upon which, without waiting for a reply, she goes out, and returns with this very honourable gentleman, whose very honourable procuress she had been, on this as well as other occasions.
The gentleman, on his entering the room, made me a very civil bow, which I had scarce strength, or presence of mind enough to return a curtsy to; when the landlady, taking upon her to do all the honours of the first interview (for I had never, that I remember’d, seen the gentleman before), sets a chair for him, and another for herself. All this while not a word on either side; a stupid stare was all the face I could put on this strange visit.
The tea was made, and the landlady, unwilling, I suppose, to lose any time, observing my silence and shyness before this entire stranger: “Come, Miss Fanny,” says she, in a coarse familiar style, and tone of authority, “hold up your head, child, and do not let sorrow spoil that pretty face of yours. What! sorrows are only for a time; come, be free, here is a worthy gentleman who has heard of your misfortunes and is willing to serve you; you must be better acquainted with him; do not you now stand upon your punctilio’s, and this and that, but make your market while you may.”
At this so delicate and eloquent233 harangue234, the gentleman, who saw I look’d frighted and amaz’d, and indeed, incapable of answering, took her up for breaking things in so abrupt a manner, as rather to shock than incline me to an acceptance of the good he intended me; then, addressing himself to me, told me he was perfectly acquainted with my whole story and every circumstance of my distress, which he own’d was a cruel plunge235 for one of my youth and beauty to fall into; that he had long taken a liking236 to my person, for which he appeal’d to Mrs. Jones, there present, but finding me so absolutely engag’d to another, he had lost all hopes of succeeding till he had heard the sudden reverse of fortune that had happen’d to me, on which he had given particular orders to my landlady to see that I should want for nothing; and that, had he not been forc’d abroad to The Hague, on affairs he could not refuse himself to, he would himself have attended me during my sickness; that on his return, which was but the day before, he had, on learning my recovery, desir’d my landlady’s good offices to introduce him to me, and was as angry, at least, as I was shock’d, at the manner in which she had conducted herself towards obtaining him that happiness; but, that to shew me how much he disown’d her procedure, and how far he was from taking any ungenerous advantage of my situation, and from exacting237 any security for my gratitude238, he would before my face, that instant, discharge my debt entirely to my landlady and give me her receipt in full; after which I should be at liberty either to reject or grant his suit, as he was much above putting any force upon my inclinations239.
Whilst he was exposing his sentiments to me, I ventur’d just to look up to him, and observed his figure, which was that of a very sightly gentleman, well made, about forty, drest in a suit of plain cloaths, with a large diamond ring on one of his fingers, the lustre240 of which play’d in my eyes as he wav’d his hand in talking, and rais’d my notions of his importance. In short, he might pass for what is commonly call’d a comely241 black man, with an air of distinction natural to his birth and condition.
To all his speeches, however, I answer’d only in tears that flow’d plentifully242 to my relief, and choking up my voice, excus’d me from speaking, very luckily, for I should not have known what to say.
The sight, however, mov’d him, as he afterwards told me, irresistibly, and by way of giving me some reason to be less powerfully afflicted243, he drew out his purse, and calling for pen and ink, which the landlady was prepar’d for, paid her every farthing of her demand, independent of a liberal gratification which was to follow unknown to me; and taking a receipt in full, very tenderly forc’d me to secure it, by guiding my hand, which he had thrust it into, so as to make me passively put it into my pocket.
Still I continued in a state of stupidity, or melancholy244 despair, as my spirits could not yet recover from the violent shocks they had receiv’d; and the accommodating landlady had actually left the room, and me alone with this strange gentleman, before I observ’d it, and then I observ’d it without alarm, for I was now lifeless and indifferent to everything.
The gentleman, however, no novice245 in affairs of this sort, drew near me; and under the pretence of comforting me, first with his handkerchief dried my tears as they ran down my cheeks: presently he ventur’d to kiss me: on my part, neither resistance nor compliance246. I sat stock-still; and now looking on myself as bought by the payment that had been transacted247 before me, I did not care what became of my wretched body: and, wanting life, spirits, or courage to oppose the least struggle, even that of the modesty of my sex, I suffer’d, tamely, whatever the gentleman pleased; who proceeding insensibly from freedom to freedom, insinuated248 his hand between my handkerchief and bosom, which he handled at discretion: finding thus no repulse249, and that every thing favour’d, beyond expectation, the completion of his desires, he took me in his arms, and bore me, without life or motion, to the bed, on which laying me gently down, and having me at what advantage he pleas’d, I did not so much as know what he was about, till recovering from a trance of lifeless insensibility, I found him buried in me, whilst I lay passive and innocent of the least sensation of pleasure: a death-cold corpse250 could scarce have less life or sense in it. As soon as he had thus pacified251 a passion which had too little respected the condition I was in, he got off, and after recomposing the disorder of my cloaths, employ’d himself with the utmost tenderness to calm the transports of remorse252 and madness at myself with which I was seized, too late, I confess, for having suffer’d on that bed the embraces of an utter stranger. I tore my hair, wrung253 my hands, and beat my breast like a mad-woman. But when my new master, for in that light I then view’d him, applied254 himself to appease255 me, as my whole rage was levell’d at myself, no part of which I thought myself permitted to aim at him, I begged of him, with more submission256 than anger, to leave me alone that I might, at least, enjoy my affliction in quiet. This he positively257 refused, for fear, as he pretended, I should do myself a mischief103.
Violent passions seldom last long, and those of women least of any. A dead still calm succeeded this storm, which ended in a profuse258 shower of tears.
Had any one, but a few instants before, told me that I should have ever known any man but Charles, I would have spit in his face; or had I been offer’d infinitely a greater sum of money than that I saw paid for me, I had spurn’d the proposal in cold blood. But our virtues259 and our vices depend too much on our circumstances; unexpectedly beset260 as I was, betray’d by a mind weakened by a long severe affliction, and stunn’d with the terrors of a jail, my defeat will appear the more excusable, since I certainly was not present at, or a party in any sense, to it. However, as the first enjoyment is decisive, and he was now over the bar, I thought I had no longer a right to refuse the caresses261 of one that had got that advantage over me, no matter how obtain’d; conforming myself then to this maxim262, I consider’d myself as so much in his power that I endur’d his kisses and embraces without affecting struggles or anger; not that they, as yet, gave me any pleasure, or prevail’d over the aversion of my soul to give myself up to any sensation of that sort; what I suffer’d, I suffer’d out of a kind of gratitude, and as a matter of course after what had pass’d.
He was, however, so regardful as not to attempt the renewal263 of those extremities which had thrown me, just before, into such violent agitations264; but, now secure of possession, contented himself with bringing me to temper by degrees, and waiting at the hand of time for those fruits of generosity265 and courtship which he since often reproach’d himself with having gather’d much too green, when, yielding to the invitations of my inability to resist him, and overborne by desires, he had wreak’d his passion on a mere lifeless, spiritless body dead to all purposes of joy, since, taking none, it ought to be suppos’d incapable of giving any. This is, however, certain; my heart never thoroughly266 forgave him the manner in which I had fallen to him, although, in point of interest, I had reason to be pleas’d that he found, in my person, wherewithal to keep him from leaving me as easily as he had gained me.
The evening was, in the mean time, so far advanc’d, that the maid came in to lay the cloth for supper, when I understood, with joy, that my landlady, whose sight was present poison to me, was not to be with us.
Presently a neat and elegant supper was introduc’d, and a bottle of Burgundy, with the other necessaries, were set on a dumb-waiter.
The maid quitting the room, the gentleman insisted, with a tender warmth, that I should sit up in the elbow chair by the fire, and see him eat if I could not be prevailed on to eat myself. I obey’d with a heart full of affliction, at the comparison it made between those delicious tete-a-tetes with my ever dear youth, and this forc’d situation, this new awkward scene, impos’d and obtruded267 on me by cruel necessity.
At supper, after a great many arguments used to comfort and reconcile me to my fate, he told me that his name was H— — brother to the Earl of L—— and that having, by the suggestions of my landlady, been led to see me, he had found me perfectly to his taste and given her a commission to procure me at any rate, and that he had at length succeeded, as much to his satisfaction as he passionately268 wished it might be to mine; adding, withal, some flattering assurances that I should have no cause to repent269 my knowledge of him.
I had now got down at most half a partridge, and three or four glasses of wine, which he compelled me to drink by way of restoring nature; but whether there was anything extraordinary put into the wine, or whether there wanted no more to revive the natural warmth of my constitution and give fire to the old train, I began no longer to look with that constraint, not to say disgust, on Mr. H— — which I had hitherto done; but, withal, there was not the least grain of love mix’d with this softening270 of my sentiments: any other man would have been just the same to me as Mr. H— — that stood in the same circumstances and had done for me, and with me, what he had done.
There are not, on earth at least, eternal griefs; mine were, if not at an end, at least suspended: my heart, which had been so long overloaded271 with anguish30 and vexation, began to dilate272 and open to the least gleam of diversion or amusement. I wept a little, and my tears reliev’d me; I sigh’d, and my sighs seem’d to lighten me of a load that oppress’d me; my countenance grew, if not cheerful, at least more compos’d and free.
Mr. H— — who had watched, perhaps brought on this change, knew too well not to seize it; he thrust the table imperceptibly from between us, and bringing his chair to face me, he soon began, after preparing me by all the endearments273 of assurances and protestations, to lay hold of my hands, to kiss me, and once more to make free with my bosom, which, being at full liberty from the disorder of a loose dishabille, now panted and throbb’d, less with indignation than with fear and bashfulness at being used so familiarly by still a stranger. But he soon gave me greater occasion to exclaim, by stooping down and slipping his hand above my garters: thence he strove to regain274 the pass, which he had before found so open, and unguarded: but not he could not unlock the twist of my thighs; I gently complained, and begg’d him to let me alone; told him I was now well. However, as he saw there was more form and ceremony in my resistance than good earnest, he made his conditions for desisting from pursuing his point that I should be put instantly to bed, whilst he gave certain orders to the landlady, and that he would return in an hour, when he hoped to find me more recondil’d to his passion for me than I seem’d at present. I neither assented275 nor deny’d, but my air and manner of receiving this proposal gave him to see that I did not think myself enough my own mistress to refuse it.
Accordingly he went out and left me, when, a minute or two after, before I could recover myself into any composure for thinking, the maid came in with her mistress’s service, and a small silver porringer of what she called a bridal posset, and desir’d me to eat it as I went to bed, which consequently I did, and felt immediately a heat, a fire run like a hue-and-cry thro’ every part of my body; I burnt, I glow’d, and wanted even little of wishing for any man.
The maid, as soon as I was lain down, took the candle away, and wishing me a good night, went out of the room and shut the door after her.
She had hardly time to get down-stairs before Mr. H—— open’d my room-door softly, and came in, now undress’d in his night-gown and cap, with two lighted wax candles, and bolting the door, gave me, tho’ I expected him, some sort of alarm. He came a tip-toe to the bed-side, and said with a gentle whisper: “Pray, my dear, do not be startled . . . I will be very tender and kind to you.” He then hurry’d off his cloaths, and leap’d into bed, having given me openings enough, whilst he was stripping, to observe his brawny276 structure, strong-made limbs, and rough shaggy breast.
The bed shook again when it receiv’d this new load. He lay on the outside, where he kept the candles burning, no doubt for the satisfaction of ev’ry sense; for as soon as he had kiss’d me, he rolled down the bed-cloaths, and seemed transported with the view of all my person at full length, which he cover’d with a profusion277 of kisses, sparing no part of me. Then, being on his knees between my legs, he drew up his shirt and bared all his hairy thighs, and stiff staring truncheon, red-topt and rooted into a thicket278 of curls, which covered his belly279 to the navel and gave it the air of a flesh brush; and soon I felt it joining close to mine, when he had drove the nail up to the head, and left no partition but the intermediate hair on both sides.
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1
pretences
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| n.假装( pretence的名词复数 )；作假；自命；自称 | |
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pretence
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| n.假装，作假；借口，口实；虚伪；虚饰 | |
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virgin
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| n.处女，未婚女子；adj.未经使用的；未经开发的 | |
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4
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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apocryphal
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| adj.假冒的，虚假的 | |
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6
smothers
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| （使）窒息， （使）透不过气( smother的第三人称单数 )； 覆盖； 忍住； 抑制 | |
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7
alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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8
joyfully
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| adv. 喜悦地, 高兴地 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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10
favourable
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| adj.赞成的，称赞的，有利的，良好的，顺利的 | |
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elevation
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| n.高度；海拔；高地；上升；提高 | |
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thighs
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| n.股，大腿( thigh的名词复数 )；食用的鸡（等的）腿 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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14
hips
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| abbr.high impact polystyrene 高冲击强度聚苯乙烯，耐冲性聚苯乙烯n.臀部( hip的名词复数 )；[建筑学]屋脊；臀围（尺寸）；臀部…的 | |
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slit
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| n.狭长的切口；裂缝；vt.切开，撕裂 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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prodigious
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| adj.惊人的，奇妙的；异常的；巨大的；庞大的 | |
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penetration
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| n.穿透，穿人，渗透 | |
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unwilling
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| adj.不情愿的 | |
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texture
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| n.(织物)质地；(材料)构造；结构；肌理 | |
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tract
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| n.传单，小册子，大片(土地或森林) | |
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rending
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| v.撕碎( rend的现在分词 )；分裂；（因愤怒、痛苦等而）揪扯（衣服或头发等）；（声音等）刺破 | |
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outrageous
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| adj.无理的，令人不能容忍的 | |
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reeking
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| v.发出浓烈的臭气( reek的现在分词 )；散发臭气；发出难闻的气味 (of sth)；明显带有（令人不快或生疑的跡象） | |
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deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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afterward
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| adv.后来；以后 | |
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emission
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| n.发出物，散发物；发出，散发 | |
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28
languishing
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| a. 衰弱下去的 | |
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29
languishingly
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| 渐渐变弱地，脉脉含情地 | |
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30
anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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31
infinitely
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| adv.无限地，无穷地 | |
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32
procuring
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| v.（努力）取得， （设法）获得( procure的现在分词 )；拉皮条 | |
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33
exultation
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| n.狂喜，得意 | |
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34
caress
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| vt./n.爱抚，抚摸 | |
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35
resentment
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| n.怨愤，忿恨 | |
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36
fowl
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| n.家禽，鸡，禽肉 | |
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37
irresistible
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| adj.非常诱人的，无法拒绝的，无法抗拒的 | |
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38
impudently
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39
dressing
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| n.(食物)调料；包扎伤口的用品，敷料 | |
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40
rapture
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| n.狂喜；全神贯注；着迷；v.使狂喜 | |
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41
strenuous
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| adj.奋发的，使劲的；紧张的；热烈的，狂热的 | |
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42
gust
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| n.阵风，突然一阵（雨、烟等），（感情的）迸发 | |
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43
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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44
lust
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| n.性(淫)欲；渴(欲)望；vi.对…有强烈的欲望 | |
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45
veins
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| n.纹理；矿脉( vein的名词复数 )；静脉；叶脉；纹理 | |
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46
tranquil
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| adj. 安静的, 宁静的, 稳定的, 不变的 | |
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47
affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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48
rein
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| n.疆绳，统治，支配；vt.以僵绳控制，统治 | |
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49
insinuating
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| adj.曲意巴结的，暗示的v.暗示( insinuate的现在分词 )；巧妙或迂回地潜入；（使）缓慢进入；慢慢伸入 | |
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50
breach
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| n.违反，不履行；破裂；vt.冲破，攻破 | |
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51
stifled
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| （使）窒息， （使）窒闷( stifle的过去式和过去分词 )； 镇压，遏制； 堵 | |
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52
fortitude
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| n.坚忍不拔；刚毅 | |
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53
scarlet
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| n.深红色，绯红色，红衣；adj.绯红色的 | |
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54
fervent
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| adj.热的，热烈的，热情的 | |
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55
agonizing
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| adj.痛苦难忍的；使人苦恼的v.使极度痛苦；折磨(agonize的ing形式) | |
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56
shudder
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| v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动 | |
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57
enjoyments
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| 愉快( enjoyment的名词复数 )； 令人愉快的事物； 享有； 享受 | |
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58
enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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59
numb
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| adj.麻木的，失去感觉的；v.使麻木 | |
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60
titillating
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| adj.使人痒痒的； 使人激动的，令人兴奋的v.使觉得痒( titillate的现在分词 )；逗引；激发；使高兴 | |
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61
relish
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| n.滋味，享受，爱好，调味品；vt.加调味料，享受，品味；vi.有滋味 | |
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62
gush
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| v.喷，涌；滔滔不绝(说话)；n.喷，涌流；迸发 | |
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63
darts
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| n.掷飞镖游戏；飞镖( dart的名词复数 )；急驰，飞奔v.投掷，投射( dart的第三人称单数 )；向前冲，飞奔 | |
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64
bliss
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| n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福 | |
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65
mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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66
momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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67
delirium
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| n. 神智昏迷,说胡话;极度兴奋 | |
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68
tumult
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| n.喧哗；激动，混乱；吵闹 | |
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69
subsided
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| v.（土地）下陷（因在地下采矿）( subside的过去式和过去分词 )；减弱；下降至较低或正常水平；一下子坐在椅子等上 | |
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70
meditation
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| n.熟虑，（尤指宗教的）默想，沉思，（pl.）冥想录 | |
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71
enchanted
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| adj. 被施魔法的，陶醉的，入迷的 动词enchant的过去式和过去分词 | |
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72
insipidity
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| n.枯燥无味，清淡，无精神；无生气状 | |
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73
sufficiently
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| adv.足够地，充分地 | |
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74
lasting
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| adj.永久的，永恒的；vbl.持续，维持 | |
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75
repose
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| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
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76
disorder
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| n.紊乱，混乱；骚动，骚乱；疾病，失调 | |
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77
solicited
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| v.恳求( solicit的过去式和过去分词 )；（指娼妇）拉客；索求；征求 | |
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78
irresistibly
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| adv.无法抵抗地，不能自持地；极为诱惑人地 | |
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79
devoured
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| 吞没( devour的过去式和过去分词 )； 耗尽； 津津有味地看； 狼吞虎咽地吃光 | |
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80
manly
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| adj.有男子气概的；adv.男子般地，果断地 | |
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81
ruby
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| n.红宝石，红宝石色 | |
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82
pout
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| v.撅嘴；绷脸；n.撅嘴；生气，不高兴 | |
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83
exhale
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| v.呼气，散出，吐出，蒸发 | |
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84
tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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85
exquisitely
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| adv.精致地；强烈地；剧烈地；异常地 | |
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86
exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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87
delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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88
complexion
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| n.肤色；情况，局面；气质，性格 | |
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89
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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90
prop
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| vt.支撑；n.支柱，支撑物；支持者，靠山 | |
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91
swell
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| vi.膨胀，肿胀；增长，增强 | |
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92
sleek
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| adj.光滑的，井然有序的；v.使光滑，梳拢 | |
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93
burnishes
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| v.擦亮（金属等），磨光( burnish的第三人称单数 )；被擦亮，磨光 | |
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94
gloss
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| n.光泽，光滑；虚饰；注释；vt.加光泽于；掩饰 | |
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95
glossy
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| adj.平滑的；有光泽的 | |
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96
tapering
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| adj.尖端细的 | |
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97
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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98
remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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99
behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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100
crest
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| n.顶点；饰章；羽冠；vt.达到顶点；vi.形成浪尖 | |
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101
pliant
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| adj.顺从的；可弯曲的 | |
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102
incapable
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| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 | |
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103
mischief
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| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
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104
mischiefs
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| 损害( mischief的名词复数 )； 危害； 胡闹； 调皮捣蛋的人 | |
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105
supple
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| adj.柔软的，易弯的，逢迎的，顺从的，灵活的；vt.使柔软，使柔顺，使顺从；vi.变柔软，变柔顺 | |
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106
shaft
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| n.(工具的)柄，杆状物 | |
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107
appendage
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| n.附加物 | |
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108
wondrous
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| adj.令人惊奇的，奇妙的；adv.惊人地；异乎寻常地；令人惊叹地 | |
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109
prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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110
judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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111
posture
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| n.姿势，姿态，心态，态度；v.作出某种姿势 | |
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112
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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113
imprinted
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| v.盖印（imprint的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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114
darted
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| v.投掷，投射( dart的过去式和过去分词 )；向前冲，飞奔 | |
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115
smuggled
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| 水货 | |
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116
spurns
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| v.一脚踢开，拒绝接受( spurn的第三人称单数 ) | |
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117
intemperately
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| adv.过度地，无节制地，放纵地 | |
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118
unripe
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| adj.未成熟的；n.未成熟 | |
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119
regularity
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| n.规律性，规则性；匀称，整齐 | |
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120
havoc
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| n.大破坏，浩劫，大混乱，大杂乱 | |
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121
favourably
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| adv. 善意地，赞成地 =favorably | |
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122
inspection
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| n.检查，审查，检阅 | |
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123
exclamations
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| n.呼喊( exclamation的名词复数 )；感叹；感叹语；感叹词 | |
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124
velvet
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| n.丝绒，天鹅绒；adj.丝绒制的，柔软的 | |
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125
improperly
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| 不正确地，不适当地 | |
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126
elude
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| v.躲避，困惑 | |
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127
disdaining
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| 鄙视( disdain的现在分词 )； 不屑于做，不愿意做 | |
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128
commodious
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| adj.宽敞的；使用方便的 | |
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129
odious
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| adj.可憎的，讨厌的 | |
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130
gorged
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| v.（用食物把自己）塞饱，填饱( gorge的过去式和过去分词 )；作呕 | |
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131
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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132
suffocated
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| （使某人）窒息而死( suffocate的过去式和过去分词 )； （将某人）闷死； 让人感觉闷热； 憋气 | |
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133
killing
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| n.巨额利润；突然赚大钱，发大财 | |
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134
vessels
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| n.血管( vessel的名词复数 )；船；容器；（具有特殊品质或接受特殊品质的）人 | |
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135
disport
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| v.嬉戏，玩 | |
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136
intervals
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| n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息 | |
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137
procure
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| vt.获得，取得，促成；vi.拉皮条 | |
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138
improvident
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| adj.不顾将来的，不节俭的，无远见的 | |
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139
vices
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| 缺陷( vice的名词复数 )； 恶习； 不道德行为； 台钳 | |
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140
vice
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| n.坏事；恶习；[pl.]台钳，老虎钳；adj.副的 | |
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141
discretion
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| n.谨慎；随意处理 | |
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142
connivance
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| n.纵容；默许 | |
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143
constraint
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| n.(on)约束，限制；限制(或约束)性的事物 | |
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144
annuity
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| n.年金；养老金 | |
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145
jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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146
lavish
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| adj.无节制的；浪费的；vt.慷慨地给予，挥霍 | |
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147
contented
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| adj.满意的，安心的，知足的 | |
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148
ruffled
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| adj. 有褶饰边的, 起皱的 动词ruffle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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149
qualified
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| adj.合格的，有资格的，胜任的，有限制的 | |
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150
humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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151
modesty
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| n.谦逊，虚心，端庄，稳重，羞怯，朴素 | |
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152
levity
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| n.轻率，轻浮，不稳定，多变 | |
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153
idol
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| n.偶像，红人，宠儿 | |
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154
voluptuous
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| adj.肉欲的，骄奢淫逸的 | |
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155
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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156
enquiring
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| a.爱打听的，显得好奇的 | |
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157
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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158
immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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159
severely
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| adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地 | |
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160
peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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161
bluffing
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| n. 威吓，唬人 动词bluff的现在分词形式 | |
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162
vocation
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| n.职业，行业 | |
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163
indictments
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| n.（制度、社会等的）衰败迹象( indictment的名词复数 )；刑事起诉书；公诉书；控告 | |
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164
pillory
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| n.嘲弄；v.使受公众嘲笑；将…示众 | |
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165
abridge
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| v.删减，删节，节略，缩短 | |
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166
triumphantly
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| ad.得意洋洋地；得胜地；成功地 | |
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167
awe
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| n.敬畏，惊惧；vt.使敬畏，使惊惧 | |
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168
clearance
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| n.净空；许可(证)；清算；清除，清理 | |
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169
collateral
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| adj.平行的；旁系的；n.担保品 | |
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170
smoothly
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| adv.平滑地，顺利地，流利地，流畅地 | |
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171
negotiation
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| n.谈判，协商 | |
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172
landlady
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| n.女房东，女地主 | |
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173
dispel
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| vt.驱走，驱散，消除 | |
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174
impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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175
parenthesis
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| n.圆括号，插入语，插曲，间歇，停歇 | |
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176
innocence
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| n.无罪；天真；无害 | |
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177
bespeaking
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| v.预定( bespeak的现在分词 )；订（货）；证明；预先请求 | |
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178
apprehended
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| 逮捕，拘押( apprehend的过去式和过去分词 )； 理解 | |
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179
recollected
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| adj.冷静的；镇定的；被回忆起的；沉思默想的v.记起，想起( recollect的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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180
proceeding
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| n.行动，进行，(pl.)会议录，学报 | |
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181
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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182
draughts
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| n. <英>国际跳棋 | |
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183
raptures
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| 极度欢喜( rapture的名词复数 ) | |
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184
lodging
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| n.寄宿，住所；(大学生的)校外宿舍 | |
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185
trifling
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| adj.微不足道的；没什么价值的 | |
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186
lodgings
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| n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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187
dungeon
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| n.地牢，土牢 | |
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188
flaunting
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| adj.招摇的，扬扬得意的，夸耀的v.炫耀，夸耀( flaunt的现在分词 )；有什么能耐就施展出来 | |
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189
sketch
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| n.草图；梗概；素描；v.素描；概述 | |
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190
envoy
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| n.使节，使者，代表，公使 | |
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191
thereby
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| adv.因此，从而 | |
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192
dealing
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| n.经商方法，待人态度 | |
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193
lodgers
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| n.房客，租住者( lodger的名词复数 ) | |
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194
beget
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| v.引起；产生 | |
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195
sanctuary
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| n.圣所，圣堂，寺庙；禁猎区，保护区 | |
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196
stint
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| v.节省，限制，停止；n.舍不得化，节约，限制；连续不断的一段时间从事某件事 | |
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197
admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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198
dominion
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| n.统治，管辖，支配权；领土，版图 | |
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199
annihilating
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| v.（彻底）消灭( annihilate的现在分词 )；使无效；废止；彻底击溃 | |
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200
kindling
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| n. 点火, 可燃物 动词kindle的现在分词形式 | |
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201
torment
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| n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠 | |
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202
dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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203
renounce
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| v.放弃；拒绝承认，宣布与…断绝关系 | |
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204
recital
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| n.朗诵，独奏会，独唱会 | |
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205
syllable
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| n.音节；vt.分音节 | |
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206
oracles
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| 神示所( oracle的名词复数 )； 神谕； 圣贤； 哲人 | |
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207
rusticity
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| n.乡村的特点、风格或气息 | |
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208
worthier
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| 应得某事物( worthy的比较级 )； 值得做某事； 可尊敬的； 有（某人或事物）的典型特征 | |
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209
toil
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| vi.辛劳工作，艰难地行动；n.苦工，难事 | |
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210
disinterested
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| adj.不关心的，不感兴趣的 | |
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211
dictate
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| v.口授；(使)听写；指令，指示，命令 | |
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212
contention
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| n.争论，争辩，论战；论点，主张 | |
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213
pretext
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| n.借口，托词 | |
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214
debauch
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| v.使堕落，放纵 | |
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215
gallop
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| v./n.(马或骑马等)飞奔；飞速发展 | |
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216
pretense
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| n.矫饰，做作，借口 | |
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217
plausible
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| adj.似真实的，似乎有理的，似乎可信的 | |
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218
abrupt
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| adj.突然的，意外的；唐突的，鲁莽的 | |
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219
strictly
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| adv.严厉地，严格地；严密地 | |
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220
delusion
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| n.谬见，欺骗，幻觉，迷惑 | |
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221
barbarian
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| n.野蛮人；adj.野蛮(人)的；未开化的 | |
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222
succinctly
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| adv.简洁地；简洁地，简便地 | |
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223
misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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224
invoked
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| v.援引( invoke的过去式和过去分词 )；行使（权利等）；祈求救助；恳求 | |
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225
assuage
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| v.缓和，减轻，镇定 | |
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226
languor
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| n.无精力，倦怠 | |
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227
scurvy
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| adj.下流的，卑鄙的，无礼的；n.坏血病 | |
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228
arrears
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| n.到期未付之债，拖欠的款项；待做的工作 | |
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229
distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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230
soothe
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| v.安慰；使平静；使减轻；缓和；奉承 | |
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231
extremities
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| n.端点( extremity的名词复数 )；尽头；手和足；极窘迫的境地 | |
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232
honourable
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| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
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233
eloquent
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| adj.雄辩的，口才流利的；明白显示出的 | |
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234
harangue
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| n.慷慨冗长的训话，言辞激烈的讲话 | |
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235
plunge
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| v.跳入，(使)投入，(使)陷入；猛冲 | |
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236
liking
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| n.爱好；嗜好；喜欢 | |
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237
exacting
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| adj.苛求的，要求严格的 | |
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238
gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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239
inclinations
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| 倾向( inclination的名词复数 )； 倾斜； 爱好； 斜坡 | |
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240
lustre
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| n.光亮，光泽；荣誉 | |
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241
comely
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| adj.漂亮的，合宜的 | |
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242
plentifully
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| adv. 许多地，丰饶地 | |
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243
afflicted
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| 使受痛苦，折磨( afflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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244
melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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245
novice
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| adj.新手的，生手的 | |
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246
compliance
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| n.顺从；服从；附和；屈从 | |
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247
transacted
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| v.办理（业务等）( transact的过去式和过去分词 )；交易，谈判 | |
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248
insinuated
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| v.暗示( insinuate的过去式和过去分词 )；巧妙或迂回地潜入；（使）缓慢进入；慢慢伸入 | |
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249
repulse
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| n.击退，拒绝；vt.逐退，击退，拒绝 | |
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250
corpse
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| n.尸体，死尸 | |
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251
pacified
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| 使（某人）安静( pacify的过去式和过去分词 )； 息怒； 抚慰； 在（有战争的地区、国家等）实现和平 | |
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252
remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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253
wrung
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| 绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 )； 握紧（尤指别人的手）； 把（湿衣服）拧干； 绞掉（水） | |
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254
applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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255
appease
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| v.安抚，缓和，平息，满足 | |
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256
submission
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| n.服从，投降；温顺，谦虚；提出 | |
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257
positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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258
profuse
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| adj.很多的，大量的，极其丰富的 | |
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259
virtues
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| 美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处 | |
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260
beset
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| v.镶嵌；困扰，包围 | |
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261
caresses
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| 爱抚，抚摸( caress的名词复数 ) | |
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262
maxim
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| n.格言，箴言 | |
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263
renewal
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| adj.(契约)延期，续订，更新，复活，重来 | |
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264
agitations
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| （液体等的）摇动( agitation的名词复数 )； 鼓动； 激烈争论； （情绪等的）纷乱 | |
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265
generosity
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| n.大度，慷慨，慷慨的行为 | |
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266
thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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267
obtruded
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| v.强行向前，强行，强迫( obtrude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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268
passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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269
repent
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| v.悔悟，悔改，忏悔，后悔 | |
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270
softening
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| 变软，软化 | |
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271
overloaded
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| a.超载的，超负荷的 | |
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272
dilate
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| vt.使膨胀，使扩大 | |
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273
endearments
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| n.表示爱慕的话语，亲热的表示( endearment的名词复数 ) | |
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274
regain
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| vt.重新获得，收复，恢复 | |
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275
assented
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| 同意，赞成( assent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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276
brawny
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| adj.强壮的 | |
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277
profusion
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| n.挥霍；丰富 | |
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278
thicket
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| n.灌木丛，树林 | |
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279
belly
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| n.肚子，腹部；(像肚子一样)鼓起的部分，膛 | |
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