If I have delay’d the sequel of my history, it has been purely1 to allow myself a little breathing time not without some hopes that, instead of pressing me to a continuation, you would have acquitted2 me of the task of pursuing a confession3, in the course of which my self-esteem has so many wounds to sustain.
I imagined, indeed, that you would have been cloy’d and tired with uniformity of adventures and expressions, inseparable from a subject of this sort, whose bottom, or groundwork being, in the nature of things, eternally one and the same, whatever variety of forms and modes the situations are susceptible4 of, there is no escaping a repetition of near the same images, the same figures, the same expressions, with this further inconvenience added to the disgust it creates, that the words JOYS, ARDOURS, TRANSPORTS, EXTASIES, and the rest of those pathetic terms so congenial to, so received in the PRACTICE OF PLEASURE, flatten5 and lose much of their due spirit and energy by the frequency they indispensably recur6 with, in a narrative7 of which that PRACTICE professedly composes the whole basis. I must therefore trust to the candour of your judgement, for your allowing for the disadvantage I am necessarily under in that respect, and to your imagination and sensibility, the pleasing task of repairing it by their supplements, where my descriptions flag or fail: the one will readily place the pictures I present before your eyes; the other give life to the colours where they are dull, or worn with too frequent handling.
What you say besides, by way of encouragement, concerning the extreme difficulty of continuing so long in one strain, in a mean temper’d with taste, between the revoltingness of gross, rank and vulgar expressions, and the ridicule8 of mincing9 metaphors10 and affected11 circumlocutions, is so sensible, as well as good-natur’d, that you greatly justify12 me to myself for my compliance13 with a curiosity that is to be satisfied so extremely at my expense.
Resuming now where I broke off in my last, I am in my way to remark to you that it was late in the evening before I arriv’d at my new lodgings14, and Mrs. Cole, after helping15 me to range and secure my things, spent the whole evening with me in my apartment, where we supped together, in giving me the best advice and instruction with regard to this new stage of my profession I was now to enter upon; and passing thus from a private devotee to pleasure into a public one, to become a more general good, with all the advantages requisite16 to put my person out to use, either for interest or pleasure, or both. But then, she observ’d, as I was a kind of new face upon the town, that it was an established rule, and part of trade, for me to pass for a maid, and dispose of myself as such on the first good occasion, without prejudice, however, to such diversions as I might have a mind to in the interim17; for that nobody could be a greater enemy than she was to the losing of time. That she would, in the mean time, do her best to find out a proper person, and would undertake to manage this nice point for me, if I would accept of her aid and advice to such good purpose that, in the loss of a fictitious18 maidenhead, I should reap all the advantages of a native one.
Though such a delicacy20 of sentiments did not extremely belong to my character at that time, I confess, against myself, that I perhaps too readily closed with a proposal which my candor21 and ingenuity22 gave me some repugnance23 to: but not enough to contradict the intention of one to whom I had now thoroughly24 abandoned the direction of all my steps. For Mrs. Cole had, I do not know how unless by one of those unaccountable invincible25 sympathies that, nevertheless, form the strongest links, especially of female friendship, won and got entire possession of me. On her side, she pretended that a strict resemblance she fancied she saw in me to an only daughter whom she had lost at my age, was the first motive26 of her taking to me so affectionately as she did. It might be so: there exist as slender motives27 of attachment28 that, gathering29 force from habit and liking30, have proved often more solid and durable31 than those founded on much stronger reasons; but this I know, that tho’ I had no other acquaintance with her than seeing her at my lodgings when I lived with Mr. H— — where she had made errands to sell me some millinery ware32, she had by degrees insinuated33 herself so far into my confidence that I threw myself blindly into her hands, and came, at length, to regard, love, and obey her implicitly35; and, to do her justice, I never experienc’d at her hands other than a sincerity36 of tenderness, and care for my interest, hardly heard of in those of her profession. We parted that night, after having settled a perfect unreserv’d agreement; and the next morning Mrs. Cole came, and took me with her to her house for the first time.
Here, at the first sight of things, I found everything breath’d an air of decency37, modesty38 and order.
In the outer parlour, or rather shop, sat three young women, very demurely39 employ’d on millinery work, which was the cover of a traffic in more precious commodities; but three beautifuller creatures could hardly be seen. Two of them were extremely fair, the eldest40 not above nineteen; and the third, much about that age, was a piquant41 brunette, whose black sparkling eyes, and perfect harmony of features and shape, left her nothing to envy in her fairer companions. Their dress too had the more design in it, the less it appeared to have, being in a taste of uniform correct neatness, and elegant simplicity42. These were the girls that compos’d the small domestick flock, which my governess train’d up with surprising order and management, considering the giddy wildness of young girls once got upon the loose. But then she never continued any in her house, whom, after a due novitiate, she found untractable, or unwilling43 to comply with the rules of it. Thus had she insensibly formed a little family of love, in which the members found so sensibly their account, in a rare alliance of pleasure with interest, and of a necessary outward decency with unbounded secret liberty, that Mrs. Cole, who had pick’d them as much for their temper as their beauty, govern’d them with ease to herself and them too.
To these pupils then of hers, whom she had prepar’d, she presented me as a new boarder, and one that was to be immediately admitted to all the intimacies44 of the house; upon which these charming girls gave me all the marks of a welcome reception, and indeed of being perfectly45 pleased with my figure, that I could possibly expect from any of my own sex: but they had been effectually brought to sacrifice all jealousy46, or competition of charms, to a common interest, and consider’d me a partner that was bringing no despicable stock of goods into the trade of the house. They gathered round me, view’d me on all sides; and as my admission into this joyous47 troop made a little holiday, the shew of work was laid aside; and Mrs. Cole giving me up, with special recommendation, to their caresses48 and entertainment, went about her ordinary business of the house.
The sameness of our sex, age, profession, and views soon created as unreserv’d a freedom and intimacy49 as if we had been for years acquainted. They took and shew’d me the house, their respective apartments, which were furnished with every article of conveniency and luxury; and above all, a spacious50 drawing-room, where a select revelling51 band usually met, in general parties of pleasure; the girls supping with their sparks, and acting52 their wanton pranks53 with unbounded licentiousness54; whilst a defiance55 of awe56, modesty or jealousy were their standing57 rules, by which, according to the principles of their society, whatever pleasure was lost on the side of sentiment was abundantly made up to the senses in the poignancy58 of variety, and the charms of ease and luxury. The authors and supporters of this secret institution would, in the height of their humours style themselves the restorers of the golden age and its simplicity of pleasures, before their innocence59 became so injustly branded with the names of guilt60 and shame.
As soon then as the evening began, and the shew of a shop was shut, the academy open’d; the mask of mock-modesty was completely taken off, and all the girls deliver’d over to their respective calls of pleasure or interest with their men; and none of that sex was promiscuously61 admitted, but only such as Mrs. Cole was previously62 satisfied with their character and discretion63. In short, this was the safest, politest, and, at the same time, the most thorough house of accommodation in town: every thing being conducted so that decency made no intrenchment upon the most libertine64 pleasures, in the practice of which too, the choice familiars of the house had found the secret so rare and difficult, of reconciling even all the refinements65 of taste and delicacy with the most gross and determinate gratifications of senuality.
After having consum’d the morning in the endearments66 and instructions of my new acquaintance, we went to dinner, when Mrs. Cole, presiding at the head of her club, gave me the first idea of her management and address, in inspiring these girls with so sensible a love and respect for her. There was no stiffness, no reserve, no airs of pique67, or little jealousies68, but all was unaffectedly gay, cheerful and easy.
After dinner, Mrs. Cole, seconded by the young ladies, acquainted me that there was a chapter to be held that night in form, for the ceremony of my reception into the sisterhood; and in which, with all due reserve to my maidenhead, that was to be occasionally cook’d up for the first proper chapman, I was to undergo a ceremonial of initiation69 they were sure I should not be displeased70 with.
Embark’d as I was, and moreover captivated with the charms of my new companions, I was too much prejudic’d in favour of any proposal they could make, to much as hesitate an assent71; which, therefore, readily giving in the style of a carte blanche, I receiv’d fresh kisses of compliment from them all, in approval of my docility72 and good nature. Now I was “a sweet girl . . .” I came into things with a “good grace . . .” I was not “affectedly coy . . .” I should be “the pride of the house . . .” and the like.
This point thus adjusted, the young women left Mrs. Cole to talk and concert matters with me: she explained to me that I should be introduc’d, that very evening, to four of her best friends, one of whom she had, according to the custom of the house, favoured with the preference of engaging me in the first party of pleasure; assuring me, at the same time, that they were all young gentlemen agreeable in their persons, and unexceptionable in every respect; that united, and holding together by the band of common pleasures, they composed the chief support of her house, and made very liberal presents to the girls that pleas’d and humour’d them, so that they were, properly speaking, the founders73 and patrons of this little seraglio. Not but that she had, at proper seasons, other customers to deal with, whom she stood less upon punctilio with than with these; for instance, it was not on one of them she could attempt to pass me for a maid; they were not only too knowing, too much town-bred to bite at such a bait, but they were such generous benefactors74 to her that it would be unpardonable to think of it.
Amidst all the flutter and emotion which this promise of pleasure, for such I conceiv’d it, stirr’d up in me, I preserved so much of the woman as to feign75 just reluctance76 enough to make some merit of sacrificing it to the influence of my patroness, whom I likewise, still in character, reminded of it perhaps being right for me to go home and dress, in favour of my first impressions.
But Mrs. Cole, in opposition77 to this, assured me that the gentlemen I should be presented to were, by their rank and taste of things, infinitely78 superior to the being touched with any glare of dress or ornaments79, such as silly women rather confound and overlay than set off their beauty with; that these veteran voluptuaries knew better than not to hold them in the highest contempt: they with whom the pure native charms alone could pass current, and who would at any time leave a sallow, washy, painted duchess on her own hands, for a ruddy, healthy, firm-flesh’d country maid; and as for my part, that nature had done enough for me, to set me above owing the least favour to art; concluding withal, that for the instant occasion, there was no dress like an undress.
I thought my governess too good a judge of these matters not to be easily over-ruled by her: after which she went on preaching very pathetically the doctrine80 of passive obedience81 and not-resistance to all those arbitrary tastes of pleasure, which are by some styl’d the refinements, and by others the depravations of it; between whom it was not the business of a simple girl, who was to profit by pleasing, to decide, but to conform to. Whilst I was edifying82 by these wholesome83 lessons, tea was brought in, and the young ladies, returning, joined company with us.
After a great deal of mix’d chat, frolic and humour, one of them, observing that there would be a good deal of time on hand before the assembly-hour, proposed that each girl should entertain the company with that critical period of her personal history in which she first exchanged the maiden19 state for womanhood. The proposal was approv’d, with only one restriction84 of Mrs. Cole, that she, on account of her age, and I, on account of my titular85 maidenhead, should be excused, at least till I had undergone the forms of the house. This obtain’d me a dispensation, and the promotress of this amusement was desired to begin.
Her name was Emily; a girl fair to excess, and whose limbs were, if possible, too well made, since their plump fullness was rather to the prejudice of that delicate slimness requir’d by the nicer judges of beauty; her eyes were blue, and streamed inexpressible sweetness, and nothing could be prettier than her mouth and lips, which clos’d over a range of the evenest and whitest teeth. Thus she began:
“Neither my extraction, nor the most critical adventure of my life, is sublime86 enough to impeach87 me of any vanity in the advancement88 of the proposal you have approv’d of. My father and mother were, and for aught I know, are still, farmers in the country, not above forty miles from town: their barbarity to me, in favour of a son, on whom only they vouchsafed89 to bestow90 their tenderness, had a thousand times determined91 me to fly their house, and throw myself on the wide world; but, at length, an accident forc’d me on this desperate attempt at the age of fifteen. I had broken a china bowl, the pride and idol92 of both their hearts; and as an unmerciful beating was the least I had to depend on at their hands, in the silliness of those tender years I left the house, and, at all adventures, took the road to London. How my loss was resented I do not know, for till this instant I have not heard a syllable93 about them. My whole stock was too broad pieces of my grandmother’s, a few shillings, silver shoe-buckles and a silver thimble. Thus equipp’d, with no more cloaths than the ordinary ones I had on my back, and frighten’d at every foot or noise I heard behind me, I hurried on; and I dare swear, walked a dozen miles before I stopped, through mere94 weariness and fatigue95. At length I sat down on a stile, wept bitterly, and yet was still rather under increased impressions of fear on the account of my escape; which made dread96, worse than death, the going back to face my unnatural97 parents. Refresh’d by this little repose98, and relieved by my tears, I was proceeding99 onward100, when I was overtaken by a sturdy country lad who was going to London to see what he could do for himself there, and, like me, had given his friends the slip. He could not be above seventeen, was ruddy, well featur’d enough, with uncombed flaxen hair, a little flapp’d hat, kersey frock, yarn101 stockings, in short, a perfect plough-boy. I saw him come whistling behind me, with a bundle tied to the end of a stick, his travelling equipage. We walk’d by one another for some time without speaking; at length we join’d company, and agreed to keep together till we got to our journey’s end. What his designs or ideas were, I know not: the innocence of mine I can solemnly protest.
“As night drew on, it became us to look out for some inn or shelter; to which perplexity another was added, and that was, what we should say for ourselves, if we were question’d. After some puzzle, the young fellow started a proposal, which I thought the finest that could be; and what was that? why, that we should pass for husband and wife: I never once dream’d of consequences. We came presently, after having agreed on this notable expedient102, to one of those hedge-accommodations for foot passengers, at the door do which stood an old crazy beldam, who seeing us trudge103 by, invited us to lodge104 there. Glad of any cover, we went in, and my fellow traveller, taking all upon him, call’d for what the house afforded, and we supped together as man and wife; which, considering our figures and ages, could not have passed on any one but such as any thing could pass on. But when bedtime came on, we had neither of us the courage to contradict out first account of ourselves; and what was extremely pleasant, the young lad seem’d as perplex’d as I was, how to evade105 lying together, which was so natural for the state we had pretenced to. Whilst we were in this quandary106, the landlady107 takes the candle and lights us to our apartment, through a long yard, at the end of which it stood, separate from the body of the house. Thus we suffer’d ourselves to be conducted, without saying a word in opposition to it; and there, in a wretched room, with a bed answerable, we were left to pass the night together, as a thing quite of course. For my part, I was so incredibly innocent as not even then to think much more harm of going to bed with the young man than with one of our dairy-wenches; nor had he, perhaps, any other notions than those of innocence, till such a fair occasion put them into his head.
“Before either of us undressed, however, he put out the candle; and the bitterness of the weather made it a kind of necessity for me to go into bed: slipping then my cloaths off, I crept under the bed-cloaths, where I found the young stripling already nestled, and the touch of his warm flesh rather pleas’d than alarm’d me. I was indeed too much disturbed with the novelty of my condition to be able to sleep; but then I had not the least thought of harm. But, oh! how powerful are the instincts of nature! how little is there wanting to set them in action! The young man, sliding his arm under my body, drew me gently towards him, as if to keep himself and me warmer; and the heat I felt from joining our breasts, kindled108 another that I had hitherto never felt, and was, even then, a stranger to the nature of. Emboldened109, I suppose, by my easiness, he ventur’d to kiss me, and I insensibly returned it, without knowing the consequence of returning it; for, on this encouragement, he slipped his hand all down from my breast to that part of me where the sense of feeling is so exquisitely110 critical, as I then experienc’d by its instant taking fire upon the touch, and glowing with a strange tickling111 heat: there he pleas’d himself and me, by feeling, till, growing a little too bold, he hurt me, and made me complain. Then he took my hand, which he guided, not unwillingly112 on my side, between the twist of his closed thighs113, which were extremely warm; there he lodged114 and pressed it, till raising it by degrees, he made me feel the proud distinction of his sex from mine. I was frighten’d at the novelty, and drew back my hand; yet, pressed and spurred on by sensations of a strange pleasure, I could not help asking him what that was for? He told me he would show me if I would let him; and, without waiting for my answer, which he prevented by stopping my mouth with kisses I was far from disrelishing, he got upon me, and inserting one of his thighs between mine, opened them so as to make way for himself, and fixed116 me to his purpose; whilst I was so much out of my usual sense, so subdu’d by the present power of a new one, that, between fear and desire, I lay utterly117 passive, till the piercing pain rous’d and made me cry out. But it was too late: he was too firm fix’d in the saddle for me to compass flinging him, with all the struggles I could use, some of which only served to further his point, and at length an irresistible118 thrust murdered at once my maidenhead, and almost me. I now lay a bleeding witness of the necessity impos’d on our sex, to gather the first honey off the thorns.
“But the pleasure rising as the pain subsided119, I was soon reconciled to fresh trials, and before morning, nothing on earth could be dearer to me than this rifler of my virgin120 sweets: he was every thing to me now. How we agreed to join fortunes; how we came up to town together, where we lived some time, till necessity parted us, and drove me into this course of life, in which I had been long ago battered121 and torn to pieces before I came to this age, as much through my easiness, as through my inclination122, had it not been for my finding refuge in this house: these are all circumstances which pass the mark I proposed, so that here my narrative ends.”
In the order of our sitting, it was Harriet’s turn to go on. Amongst all the beauties of our sex that I had before or have since seen, few indeed were the forms that could dispute excellence123 with her’s; it was not delicate, but delicacy itself incarnate124, such was the symmetry of her small but exactly fashion’d limbs. Her complexion125, fair as it was, appeared yet more fair from the effect of two black eyes, the brilliancy of which gave her face more vivacity126 than belonged to the colour of it, which was only defended from paleness by a sweetly pleasing blush in her cheeks, that grew fainter and fainter, till at length it died away insensibly into the overbearing white. Then her miniature features join’d to finish the extreme sweetness of it, which was not belied127 by that of temper turned to indolence, languor128, and the pleasures of love. Press’d to subscribe129 her contingent130, she smiled, blushed a little, and thus complied with our desires:
“My father was neither better nor worse than a miller131 near the city of York; and both he and my mother dying whilst I was an infant, I fell under the care of a widow and childless aunt, housekeeper132 to my lord N— — at his seat in the county of . . ., where she brought me up with all imaginable tenderness. I was not seventeen, as I am not now eighteen, before I had, on account of my person purely (for fortune I had notoriously none), several advantageous133 proposals; but whether nature was slow in making me sensible in her favourite passion, or that I had not seen any of the other sex who had stirr’d up the least emotion or curiosity to be better acquainted with it, I had, till that age, preserv’d a perfect innocence, even of thought: whilst my fears of I did not well know what, made me no more desirous of marrying than of dying. My aunt, good woman, favoured my timorousness134, which she look’d on as childish affection, that her own experience might probably assure her would wear off in time, and gave my suitors proper answers for me.
“The family had not been down at that seat for years, so that it was neglected, and committed entirely135 to my aunt, and two old domestics to take care of it. Thus I had the full range of a spacious lonely house and gardens, situate at about half a mile distance form any other habitation, except, perhaps, a straggling cottage or so.
“Here, in tranquillity136 and innocence, I grew up without any memorable137 accident, till one fatal day I had, as I had often done before, left my aunt fast asleep, and secure for some hours, after dinner; and resorting to a kind of ancient summer-house, at some distance from the house, I carried my work with me, and sat over a rivulet138, which its door and window fac’d upon. Here I fell into a gentle breathing slumber139, which stole upon my senses, as they fainted under the excessive heat of the season at that hour; a cane140 couch, with my work-basket for a pillow, were all the conveniencies of my short repose; for I was soon awaked and alarmed by a flounce, and the noise of splashing in the water. I got up to see what was the matter; and what indeed should it be but the son of a neighbouring gentleman, as I afterwards found (for I had never seen him before), who had strayed that way with his gun, and heated by his sport, and the sultriness of the day, had been tempted141 by the freshness of the clear stream; so that presently stripping, he jump’d into it on the other side, which bordered on a wood, some trees whereof, inclined down to the water, form’d a pleasing shady recess142, commodious143 to undress and leave his clothes under.
“My first emotions at the sight of this youth, naked in the water, were, with all imaginable respect to truth, those of surprise and fear; and, in course, I should immediately have run out, had not my modesty, fatally for itself, interposed the objection of the door and window being so situated144 that it was scarce possible to get out, and make my way along the bank to the house, without his seeing me: which I could not bear the thought of, so much ashamed and confounded was I at having seen him. Condemn’d then to stay till his departure should release me, I was greatly embarrassed how to dispose of myself: I kept some time betwixt terror and modesty, even from looking through the window, which being an old-fashinon’d casement145, without any light behind me, could hardly betray any one’s being there to him from within; then the door was so secure, that without violence, or my own consent, there was no opening it from without.
“But now, by my own experience, I found it too true that objects which affright us, when we cannot get from them, draw out eyes as forcibly as those that please us. I could not long withstand that nameless impulse, which, without any desire of this novel sight, compelled me towards it; embolden’d too by my certainty of being at once unseen and safe, I ventur’d by degrees to cast my eyes on an object so terrible and alarming to my virgin modesty as a naked man. But as I snatched a look, the first gleam that struck me was in general the dewy lustre146 of the whitest skin imaginable, which the sun playing upon made the reflection of it perfectly beamy. His face, in the confusion I was in, I could not well distinguish the lineaments of, any farther than that there was a great deal of youth and freshness in it. The frolic and various play of all his polish’d limbs, as they appeared above the surface, in the course of his swimming or wantoning with the water, amus’d and insensibly delighted me: sometimes he lay motionless, on his back, waterborne, and dragging after him a fine head of hair, that, floating, swept the stream in a bush of black curls. Then the over-flowing water would make a separation between his breast and glossy147 white belly149; at the bottom of which I could not escape observing so remarkable150 a distinction as a black mossy tuft, out of which appeared to emerge a round, softish, limber, white something, that played every way, with ever the least motion or whirling eddy151. I cannot say but that part chiefly, by a kind of natural instinct, attracted, detain’d, captivated my attention: it was out of the power of all my modesty to command my eye away from it; and seeing nothing so very dreadful in its appearance, I insensibly lock’d away all my fears: but as fast as they gave way, new desires and strange wishes took place, and I melted as I gazed. The fire of nature, that had so long lain dormant152 or conceal’d, began to break out, and made me feel my sex the first time. He had now changed his posture153, and swam prone154 on his belly, striking out with his legs and arms, finer modell’d than which could not have been cast, whilst his floating locks played over a neck and shoulders whose whiteness they delightfully155 set off. Then the luxuriant swell156 of flesh that rose form the small of his back, and terminated its double cope at where the thighs are sent off, perfectly dazzled one with its watery157 glistening158 gloss148.
“By this time I was so affected by this inward involution of sentiments, so soften’d by this sight, that now, betrayed into a sudden transition from extreme fears to extreme desires, I found these last so strong upon me, the heat of the weather too perhaps conspiring159 to exalt160 their rage, that nature almost fainted under them. Not that I so much as knew precisely161 what was wanting to me: my only thought was that so sweet a creature as this youth seemed to me could only make me happy; but then, the little likelihood there was of compassing an acquaintance with him, or perhaps of ever seeing him again, dash’d my desires, and turn’d them into torments162. I was still gazing, with all the powers of my sight, on this bewitching object, when, in an instant, down he went. I had heard of such things as a cramp164 seizing on even the best swimmers, and occasioning their being drowned; and imagining this so sudden eclipse to be owing to it, the inconceivable fondness this unknown lad had given birth to distracted me with the most killing165 terrors; insomuch, that my concern giving the wings, I flew to the door, open’d it, ran down to the canal, guided thither166 by the madness of my fears for him, and the intense desire of being an instrument to save him, though I was ignorant how, or by what means to effect it: but was it for fears, and a passion so sudden as mine, to reason? All this took up scarce the space of a few moments. I had then just life enough to reach the green borders of the waterpiece, where wildly looking round for the young man, and missing him still, my fright and concern sunk me down in a deep swoon, which must have lasted me some time; for I did not come to myself till I was rous’d out of it by a sense of pain that pierced me to the vitals, and awaked me to the most surprising circumstance of finding myself not only in the arms of this very same young gentleman I had been so solicitous167 to save, but taken at such an advantage in my unresisting condition that he had actually completed his entrance into me so far, that weakened as I was by all the preceding conflicts of mind I had suffer’d, and struck dumb by the violence of my surprise, I had neither the power to cry out nor the strength to disengage myself from his strenuous168 embraces, before, urging his point, he had forced his way and completely triumphed over my virginity, as he might now as well see by the streams of blood that follow’d his drawing out, as he had felt by the difficulties he had met with consummating169 his penetration170. But the sight of the blood, and the sense of my condition, had (as he told me afterwards), since the ungovernable rage of his passion was somewhat appeas’d, now wrought171 so far on him that at all risks, even of the worst consequences, he could not find in his heart to leave me, and make off, which he might easily have done. I still lay all descompos’d in bleeding ruin, palpitating, speechless, unable to get off, and frightened, and fluttering like a poor wounded partridge, and ready to faint away again at the sense of what had befallen me. The young gentleman was by me, kneeling, kissing my hand, and with tears in his eyes beseeching172 me to forgive him, and offering all the reparation in his power. It is certain that could I, at the instant of regaining173 my senses, have called out, or taken the bloodiest174 revenge, I would not have stuck at it: the violation175 was attended too with such aggravating176 circumstances, though he was ignorant of them, since it was to my concern for the preservation177 of his life that I owed my ruin.
“But how quick is the shift of passions from one extreme to another! and how little are they acquainted with the human heart who dispute it! I could not see this amiable178 criminal, so suddenly the first object of my love, and as suddenly of my just hate, on his knees, bedewing my hand with his tears, without relenting. He was still stark-naked, but my modesty had been already too much wounded, in essentials, to be so much shocked as I should have otherwise been with appearances only; in short, my anger ebbed179 so fast, and the tide of love return’d so strong upon me, that I felt it a point of my own happiness to forgive him. The reproaches I made him were murmur’d in so soft a tone, my eyes met his with such glances, expressing more languor than resentment180, that he could not but presume his forgiveness was at no desperate distance; but still he would not quit his posture of submission181, till I had pronounced his pardon in form; which after the most fervent182 entreaties183, protestations, and promises, I had not the power to withhold184. On which, with the utmost marks of a fear of again offending, he ventured to kiss my lips, which I neither declined nor resented; but on my mild expostulations with him upon the barbarity of his treatment, he explain’d the mystery of my ruin, if not entirely to the clearance185, at least much to the alleviation186 of his guilt, in the eyes of a judge so partial in his favour as I was grown.
“Its seems that the circumstance of his going down, or sinking, which in my extreme ignorance I had mistaken for something very fatal, was no other than a trick of diving which I had not ever heard, or at least attended to, the mention of: and he was so long-breath’d at it, that in the few moments in which I ran out to save him, he had not yet emerged, before I fell into the swoon, in which, as he rose, seeing me extended on the bank, his first idea was that some young woman was upon some design of frolic or diversion with him, for he knew I could not have fallen a-sleep there without his having seen me before: agreeably to which notion he had ventured to approach, and finding me without sign of life, and still perplex’d as he was what to think of the adventure, he took me in his arms at all hazards, and carried me into the summer-house, of which he observed the door open: there he laid me down on the couch, and tried, as he protested in good faith, by several means to bring me to myself again, till fired, as he said, beyond all bearing by the sight and touch of several parts of me which were unguardedly exposed to him, he could no longer govern his passion; and the less, as he was not quite sure that his first idea of this swoon being a feint was not the very truth of the case: seduced187 then by this flattering notion, and overcome by the present, as he styled them, superhuman temptations, combined with the solitude188 and seeming security of the attempt, he was not enough his own master not to make it. Leaving me then just only whilst he fastened the door, he returned with redoubled eagerness to his prey189: when, finding me still entranced, he ventured to place me as he pleased, whilst I felt, no more than the dead, what he was about, till the pain he put me to roused me just in time enough to be witness of a triumph I was not able to defeat, and now scarce regretted: for as he talked, the tone of his voice sounded, methought, so sweetly in my ears, the sensible nearness of so new and interesting an object to me wrought so powerfully upon me, that, in the rising perception of things in a new and pleasing light, I lost all sense of the past injury. The young gentleman soon discern’d the symptoms of a reconciliation190 in my softened191 looks, and hastening to receive the seal of it from my lips, press’d them tenderly to pass his pardon in the return of a kiss so melting fiery192, that the impression of it being carried to my heart, and thence to my new-discover’d sphere of Venus, I was melted into a softness that could refuse him nothing. When now he managed his caresses and endearments so artfully as to insinuate34 the most soothing193 consolations194 for the past pain and the most pleasing expectations of future pleasure, but whilst mere modesty kept my eyes from seeing his and rather declined them, I had a glimpse of that instrument of the mischief195 which was now, obviously even to me, who had scarce had snatches of a comparative observation of it, resuming its capacity to renew it, and grew greatly alarming with its increase of size, as he bore it no doubt designedly, hard and stiff against one of my hands carelessly dropt; but then he employ’d such tender prefacing, such winning progressions, that my returning passion of desire being now so strongly prompted by the engaging circumstances of the sight and incendiary touch of his naked glowing beauties, I yielded at length at the force of the present impressions, and he obtained of my tacit blushing consent all the gratifications of pleasure left in the power of my poor person to bestow, after he had cropt its richest flower, during my suspension of life and abilities to guard it.
“Here, according to the rule laid down, I should stop; but I am so much in motion, that I could not if I would. I shall only add, however, that I got home without the least discovery, or suspicion of what had happened. I met my young ravisher several times after, whom I now passionately196 lov’d and who, tho’ not of age to claim a small but independent fortune, would have married me; but as the accidents that prevented it, and their consequences which threw me on the publick, contain matters too moving and serious to introduce at present, I cut short here.”
Louisa, the brunette whom I mentioned at first, now took her turn to treat the company with her history. I have already hinted to you the graces of her person, than which nothing could be more exquisitely touching197; I repeat touching, as a just distinction from striking, which is ever a less lasting198 effect, and more generally belongs to the fair complexions199: but leaving that decision to every one’s taste, I proceed to give you Louisa’s narrative as follows:
“According to practical maxims200 of life, I ought to boast of my birth, since I owe it to pure love, without marriage; but this I know, it was scarce possible to inherit a stronger propensity201 to that cause of my being than I did. I was the rare production of the first essay of a journeyman cabinet-maker on his master’s maid: the consequence of which was a big belly, and the loss of a place. He was not in circumstances to do much for her; and yet, after all this blemish202, she found means, after she had dropt her burthen and disposed of me to a poor relation’s in the country, to repair it by marrying a pastry-cook here in London, in thriving business; on whom she soon, under favour of the complete ascendant he had given her over him, passed me for a child she had by her first husband. I had, on that footing, been taken home, and was not six years old when this step-father died and left my mother in tolerable circumstances, and without any children by him. As to my natural father, he had betaken himself to the sea; where, when the truth of things came out, I was told that he died, not immensely rich you may think, since he was no more than a common sailor. As I grew up, under the eyes of my mother, who kept on the business, I could not but see, in her severe watchfulness203, the marks of a slip which she did not care should be hereditary204, but we no more choose our passions than our features or complexion, and the bent205 of mine was so strong to the forbidden pleasure, that it got the better, at length, of all her care and precaution. I was scarce twelve years old before that part which she wanted so much to keep out of harm’s way made me feel its impatience206 to be taken notice of, and come into play: already had it put forth207 the signs of forwardness in the sprout208 of a soft down over it, which had often flatter’d, and I might also say, grown under my constant touch and visitation, so pleas’d was I with what I took to be a kind of title to womanhood, that state I pin’d to be entr’d of, for the pleasures I conceiv’d were annexed209 to it; and now the growing importance of that part to me, and the new sensations in it, demolish’d at once all my girlish playthings and amusements. Nature now pointed210 me strongly to more solid diversions, while all the stings of desire settled so fiercely in that little centre of them, that I could not mistake the spot I wanted a playfellow in.
“I now shunn’d all company in which there was no hopes of coming at the object of my longings211, and used to shut myself up, to indulge in solitude some tender meditation212 on the pleasures I strongly perceiv’d the overture213 of, in feeling and examining what nature assur’d me must be the chosen avenue, the gates for unknown bliss214 to enter at, that I panted after.
“But these meditations215 only increas’d my disorder216, and blew the fire that consumed me. I was yet worse when, yielding at length to the insupportable irritations217 of the little fairy charm that tormented218 me, I seiz’d it with my fingers, teasing it to no end. Sometimes, in the furious excitations of desire, I threw myself on the bed, spread my thighs abroad, and lay as it were expecting the longed-for relief, till finding my illusion, I shut and squeez’d them together again, burning and fretting219. In short, this dev’lish thing, with its impetuous girds and itching163 fires, led me such a life that I could neither night nor day be at peace with it or myself. In time, however, I thought I had gained a prodigious220 prize, when figuring to myself that my fingers were something of the shape of what I pined for, I worked my way in for one of them with great agitation221 and delight; yet not without pain too did I deflower myself as far as it could reach; proceeding with such a fury of passion, in this solitary222 and last shift of pleasure, as extended me at length breathless on the bed in an amorous223 melting trance.
“But frequency of use dulling the sensation, I soon began to perceive that this work was but a paltry224 shallow expedient that went but a little way to relieve me, and rather rais’d more flame than its dry and insignificant225 titillation226 could rightly appease227.
“Man alone, I almost instinctively228 knew, as well as by what I had industriously229 picked up at weddings and christenings, was possess’d of the only remedy that could reduce this rebellious230 disorder; but watch’d and overlook’d as I was, how to come at it was the point, and that, to all appearance, an invincible one; not that I did not rack my brains and invention how at once to elude231 my mother’s vigilance, and procure232 myself the satisfaction of my impetuous curiosity and longings for this mighty233 and untasted pleasure. At length, however, a singular chance did at once the work of a long course of alertness. One day that we had dined at an acquaintance’s over the way, together with a gentlewoman-lodger that occupied the first floor of our house, there started an indispensable necessity for my mother’s going down to Greenwich to accompany her: the party was settled, when I do not know what genius whispered me to plead a headache, which I certainly had not, against my being included in a jaunt234 that I had not the least relish115 for. The pretext235 however passed, and my mother, with much reluctance, prevailed with herself to go without me; but took particular care to see me safe home, where she consign’d me into the hands of an old trusty maid-servant, who served in the shop, for we had not a male creature in the house.
“As soon as she was gone, I told the maid I would go up and lie down on our lodger’s bed, mine not being made, with a charge to her at the same time not to disturb me, as it was only rest I wanted. This injunction probably prov’d of eminent236 service to me. As soon as I was got into the bedchamber, I unlaced my stays, and threw myself on the outside of the bed-cloaths, in all the loosest undress. Here I gave myself up to the old insipid237 privy238 shifts of my self-viewing, self-touching, self-enjoying, in fine, to all the means of self-knowledge I could devise, in search of the pleasure that fled before me, and tantalized239 with that unknown something that was out of my reach; thus all only serv’d to enflame myself, and to provoke violently my desires, whilst the one thing needful to their satisfaction was not at hand, and I could have bit my fingers, for representing it so ill. After then wearying and fatiguing240 myself with grasping shadows, whilst that most sensible part of me disdain’d to content itself with less than realities, the strong yearnings, the urgent struggles of nature towards the melting relief, and the extreme self-agitations241 I had used to come at it, had wearied and thrown me into a kind of unquiet sleep: for, if I tossed and threw about my limbs in proportion to the distraction242 of my dreams, as I had reason to believe I did, a bystander could not have help’d seeing all for love. And one there was it seems; for waking out of my very short slumber, I found my hand lock’d in that of a young man, who was kneeling at my bed-side, and begging my pardon for his boldness: but that being a son to the lady to whom this bedchamber, he knew, belonged, he had slipp’d by the servant of the shop, as he supposed, unperceiv’d, when finding me asleep, his first ideas were to withdraw; but that he had been fix’d and detain’d there by a power he could better account for than resist.
“What shall I say? my emotions of fear and surprize were instantly subdued243 by those of the pleasure I bespoke244 in great presence of mind from the turn this adventure might take. He seem’d to me no other than a pitying angel, dropt out of the clouds: for he was young and perfectly handsome, which was more than even I had asked for; man, in general, being all that my utmost desires had pointed at. I thought then I could not put too much encouragement into my eyes and voice; I regretted no leading advances; no matter for his after-opinion of my forwardness, so it might bring him to the point of answering my pressing demands of present case; it was not now with his thoughts, but his actions, that my business immediately lay. I rais’d then my head, and told him, in a soft tone that tended to prescribe the same key to him, that his mamma was gone out and would not return till late at night: which I thought no bad hint; but as it prov’d, I had nothing of a novice245 to deal with. The impressions I had made on him from the discoveries I had betrayed of my person in the disordered motions of it, during his view of me asleep, had, as he afterwards told me, so fix’d and charmingly prepar’d him, that, had I known his dispositions246, I had more to hope from his violence than to fear from his respect; and even less than the extreme tenderness which I threw into my voice and eyes, would have served to encourage him to make the most of the opportunity. Finding then that his kisses, imprinted247 on my hand, were taken as tamely as he could wish, he rose to my lips; and glewing his to them, made me so faint with over-coming joy and pleasure that I fell back, and he with me, in course, on the bed, upon which I had, by insensibly shifting from the side to near the middle, invitingly248 made room for him. He is now lain down by me, and the minutes being too precious to consume in untimely ceremony, or dalliance, my youth proceeds immediately to those extremities249, which all my looks, flushing and palpitations had assured him he might attempt without the fear of repulse250: those rogues251, the men, read us admirably on these occasions. I lay then at length panting for the imminent252 attack, with wishes far beyond my fears, and for which it was scarce possible for a girl, barely thirteen, but all and well grown, to have better dispositions. He threw up my petticoat and shift, whilst my thighs were, by an instinct of nature, unfolded to their best; and my desires had so thoroughly destroy’d all modesty in me, that even their being now naked and all laid open to him, was part of the prelude253 that pleasure deepen’d my blushes at, more than shame. But when his hand, and touches, naturally attracted to their centre, made me feel all their wantonness and warmth in, and round it, oh! how immensely different a sense of things did I perceive there, than when under my own insipid handling! And now his waistcoat was unbuttoned, and the confinement254 of the breeches burst through, when out started to view the amazing, pleasing object of all my wishes, all my dreams, all my love, the king member indeed! I gaz’d at, I devoured255 it, at length and breadth, with my eyes intently directed to it, till his getting upon me, and placing it between my thighs, took from me the enjoyment256 of its sight, to give me a far more grateful one in its touch, in that part where its touch is so exquisitely affecting. Applying it then to the minute opening, for such at that age it certainly was, I met with too much good will, I felt with too great a rapture257 of pleasure the first insertion of it, to heed258 much the pain that followed: I thought nothing too dear to pay for this the richest treat of the senses; so that, split up, torn, bleeding, mangled259, I was still superiorly pleas’d, and hugg’d the author of all this delicious ruin. But when, soon after, he made his second attack, sore as every thing was, the smart was soon put away by the sovereign cordial; all my soft complainings were silenc’d, and the pain melting fast away into pleasure. I abandon’d myself over to all its transports, and gave it the full possession of my whole body and soul; for now all thought was at an end with me; I lived but in what I felt only. And who could describe those feelings, those agitations, yet exalted260 by the charm of their novelty and surprize? when that part of me which had so long hunger’d for the dear morsel261 that now so delightfully crammed262 it, forc’d all my vital sensations to fix their home there, during the stay of my beloved guest; who too soon paid me for his hearty263 welcome in a dissolvent, richer far than that I have heard of some queen treating her paramour with, in liquify’d pearl, and ravishingly pour’d into me, where, now myself too much melted to give it a dry reception, I hail’d it with the warmest confluence264 on my side, amidst all those extatic raptures265, not unfamiliar266 I presume to this good company! Thus, however, I arrived at the very top of all my wishes, by an accident unexpected indeed, but not so wonderful; for this young gentleman was just arriv’d in town from college, and came familiarly to his mother at her apartment, where he had once before been, though by mere chance. I had not seen him: so that we knew one another by hear-say only; and finding me stretched on his mother’s bed, he readily concluded, from her description who it was. The rest you know.
“This affair had however no ruinous consequences, the young gentleman escaping then, and many more times undiscover’d. But the warmth of my constitution, that made the pleasures of love a kind of necessary of life to me, having betray’d me into indiscretions fatal to my private fortune, I fell at length to the publick; from which, it is probable, I might have met with the worst of ruin if my better fate had not thrown me into this safe and agreeable refuge.”
Here Louisa ended; and these little histories having brought the time for the girls to retire, and to prepare for the revels267 of the evening, I staid with Mrs. Cole till Emily came and told us the company was met, and waited for us.
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1
purely
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| adv.纯粹地，完全地 | |
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acquitted
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| 宣判…无罪( acquit的过去式和过去分词 )； 使（自己）作出某种表现 | |
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confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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susceptible
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| adj.过敏的，敏感的；易动感情的，易受感动的 | |
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flatten
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| v.把．．．弄平，使倒伏；使(漆等)失去光泽 | |
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recur
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| vi.复发，重现，再发生 | |
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narrative
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| n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的 | |
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ridicule
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| v.讥讽，挖苦；n.嘲弄 | |
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mincing
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| adj.矫饰的；v.切碎；切碎 | |
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metaphors
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| 隐喻( metaphor的名词复数 ) | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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justify
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| vt.证明…正当(或有理)，为…辩护 | |
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compliance
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| n.顺从；服从；附和；屈从 | |
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lodgings
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| n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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requisite
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| adj.需要的，必不可少的；n.必需品 | |
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interim
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| adj.暂时的，临时的；n.间歇，过渡期间 | |
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fictitious
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| adj.虚构的，假设的；空头的 | |
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maiden
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| n.少女，处女；adj.未婚的，纯洁的，无经验的 | |
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delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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candor
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| n.坦白，率真 | |
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ingenuity
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| n.别出心裁；善于发明创造 | |
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repugnance
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| n.嫌恶 | |
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thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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invincible
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| adj.不可征服的，难以制服的 | |
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motive
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| n.动机，目的；adv.发动的，运动的 | |
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motives
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| n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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attachment
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| n.附属物，附件；依恋；依附 | |
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gathering
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| n.集会，聚会，聚集 | |
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liking
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| n.爱好；嗜好；喜欢 | |
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durable
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| adj.持久的，耐久的 | |
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ware
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| n.(常用复数)商品，货物 | |
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insinuated
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| v.暗示( insinuate的过去式和过去分词 )；巧妙或迂回地潜入；（使）缓慢进入；慢慢伸入 | |
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insinuate
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| vt.含沙射影地说，暗示 | |
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implicitly
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| adv. 含蓄地, 暗中地, 毫不保留地 | |
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sincerity
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| n.真诚，诚意；真实 | |
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decency
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| n.体面，得体，合宜，正派，庄重 | |
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modesty
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| n.谦逊，虚心，端庄，稳重，羞怯，朴素 | |
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demurely
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| adv.装成端庄地，认真地 | |
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eldest
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| adj.最年长的，最年老的 | |
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piquant
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| adj.辛辣的，开胃的，令人兴奋的 | |
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simplicity
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| n.简单，简易；朴素；直率，单纯 | |
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unwilling
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| adj.不情愿的 | |
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intimacies
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| 亲密( intimacy的名词复数 )； 密切； 亲昵的言行； 性行为 | |
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45
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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46
jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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47
joyous
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| adj.充满快乐的；令人高兴的 | |
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48
caresses
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| 爱抚，抚摸( caress的名词复数 ) | |
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49
intimacy
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| n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行 | |
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50
spacious
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| adj.广阔的，宽敞的 | |
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51
revelling
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| v.作乐( revel的现在分词 )；狂欢；着迷；陶醉 | |
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52
acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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53
pranks
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| n.玩笑，恶作剧( prank的名词复数 ) | |
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54
licentiousness
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|
| n.放肆，无法无天 | |
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55
defiance
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| n.挑战，挑衅，蔑视，违抗 | |
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56
awe
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| n.敬畏，惊惧；vt.使敬畏，使惊惧 | |
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57
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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58
poignancy
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| n.辛酸事，尖锐 | |
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59
innocence
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|
| n.无罪；天真；无害 | |
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60
guilt
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|
| n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责 | |
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61
promiscuously
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| adv.杂乱地，混杂地 | |
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62
previously
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| adv.以前，先前（地） | |
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63
discretion
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|
| n.谨慎；随意处理 | |
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64
libertine
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|
| n.淫荡者；adj.放荡的，自由思想的 | |
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65
refinements
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|
| n.（生活）风雅；精炼( refinement的名词复数 )；改良品；细微的改良；优雅或高贵的动作 | |
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66
endearments
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| n.表示爱慕的话语，亲热的表示( endearment的名词复数 ) | |
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67
pique
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| v.伤害…的自尊心，使生气 n.不满，生气 | |
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68
jealousies
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| n.妒忌( jealousy的名词复数 )；妒羡 | |
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69
initiation
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| n.开始 | |
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70
displeased
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| a.不快的 | |
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71
assent
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|
| v.批准，认可；n.批准，认可 | |
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72
docility
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|
| n.容易教，易驾驶，驯服 | |
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73
founders
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| n.创始人( founder的名词复数 ) | |
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74
benefactors
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|
| n.捐助者，施主( benefactor的名词复数 )；恩人 | |
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75
feign
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| vt.假装，佯作 | |
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76
reluctance
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|
| n.厌恶，讨厌，勉强，不情愿 | |
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77
opposition
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| n.反对，敌对 | |
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78
infinitely
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|
| adv.无限地，无穷地 | |
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79
ornaments
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|
| n.装饰( ornament的名词复数 )；点缀；装饰品；首饰v.装饰，点缀，美化( ornament的第三人称单数 ) | |
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80
doctrine
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|
| n.教义；主义；学说 | |
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81
obedience
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|
| n.服从，顺从 | |
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82
edifying
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|
| adj.有教训意味的，教训性的，有益的v.开导，启发( edify的现在分词 ) | |
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83
wholesome
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|
| adj.适合；卫生的；有益健康的；显示身心健康的 | |
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84
restriction
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|
| n.限制，约束 | |
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85
titular
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|
| adj.名义上的，有名无实的；n.只有名义（或头衔）的人 | |
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86
sublime
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|
| adj.崇高的，伟大的；极度的，不顾后果的 | |
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87
impeach
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|
| v.弹劾；检举 | |
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88
advancement
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|
| n.前进，促进，提升 | |
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89
vouchsafed
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| v.给予，赐予( vouchsafe的过去式和过去分词 )；允诺 | |
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90
bestow
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|
| v.把…赠与，把…授予；花费 | |
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91
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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92
idol
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| n.偶像，红人，宠儿 | |
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93
syllable
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|
| n.音节；vt.分音节 | |
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94
mere
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|
| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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95
fatigue
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|
| n.疲劳，劳累 | |
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96
dread
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|
| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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97
unnatural
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|
| adj.不自然的；反常的 | |
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98
repose
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|
| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
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99
proceeding
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|
| n.行动，进行，(pl.)会议录，学报 | |
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100
onward
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|
| adj.向前的，前进的；adv.向前，前进，在先 | |
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101
yarn
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| n.纱，纱线，纺线；奇闻漫谈，旅行轶事 | |
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102
expedient
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|
| adj.有用的，有利的；n.紧急的办法，权宜之计 | |
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103
trudge
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| v.步履艰难地走；n.跋涉，费力艰难的步行 | |
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104
lodge
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| v.临时住宿，寄宿，寄存，容纳；n.传达室，小旅馆 | |
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105
evade
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|
| vt.逃避，回避；避开，躲避 | |
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106
quandary
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|
| n.困惑，进迟两难之境 | |
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107
landlady
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|
| n.女房东，女地主 | |
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108
kindled
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| （使某物）燃烧，着火( kindle的过去式和过去分词 )； 激起（感情等）； 发亮，放光 | |
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109
emboldened
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|
| v.鼓励，使有胆量( embolden的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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110
exquisitely
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|
| adv.精致地；强烈地；剧烈地；异常地 | |
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111
tickling
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| 反馈，回授，自旋挠痒法 | |
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112
unwillingly
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|
| adv.不情愿地 | |
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113
thighs
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|
| n.股，大腿( thigh的名词复数 )；食用的鸡（等的）腿 | |
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114
lodged
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|
| v.存放( lodge的过去式和过去分词 )；暂住；埋入；（权利、权威等）归属 | |
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115
relish
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|
| n.滋味，享受，爱好，调味品；vt.加调味料，享受，品味；vi.有滋味 | |
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116
fixed
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|
| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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117
utterly
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|
| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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118
irresistible
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|
| adj.非常诱人的，无法拒绝的，无法抗拒的 | |
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119
subsided
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| v.（土地）下陷（因在地下采矿）( subside的过去式和过去分词 )；减弱；下降至较低或正常水平；一下子坐在椅子等上 | |
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120
virgin
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|
| n.处女，未婚女子；adj.未经使用的；未经开发的 | |
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121
battered
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| adj.磨损的；v.连续猛击；磨损 | |
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122
inclination
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|
| n.倾斜；点头；弯腰；斜坡；倾度；倾向；爱好 | |
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123
excellence
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|
| n.优秀，杰出，(pl.)优点，美德 | |
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124
incarnate
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| adj.化身的，人体化的，肉色的 | |
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125
complexion
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|
| n.肤色；情况，局面；气质，性格 | |
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126
vivacity
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| n.快活，活泼，精神充沛 | |
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127
belied
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|
| v.掩饰( belie的过去式和过去分词 )；证明（或显示）…为虚假；辜负；就…扯谎 | |
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128
languor
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|
| n.无精力，倦怠 | |
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129
subscribe
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| vi.(to)订阅，订购；同意；vt.捐助，赞助 | |
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130
contingent
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|
| adj.视条件而定的；n.一组，代表团，分遣队 | |
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131
miller
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| n.磨坊主 | |
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132
housekeeper
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| n.管理家务的主妇，女管家 | |
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133
advantageous
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|
| adj.有利的；有帮助的 | |
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134
timorousness
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|
| n.羞怯，胆怯 | |
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135
entirely
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|
| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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136
tranquillity
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| n. 平静, 安静 | |
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137
memorable
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|
| adj.值得回忆的，难忘的，特别的，显著的 | |
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138
rivulet
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|
| n.小溪，小河 | |
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139
slumber
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| n.睡眠，沉睡状态 | |
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140
cane
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| n.手杖，细长的茎，藤条；v.以杖击，以藤编制的 | |
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141
tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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142
recess
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| n.短期休息，壁凹（墙上装架子，柜子等凹处） | |
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143
commodious
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| adj.宽敞的；使用方便的 | |
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144
situated
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|
| adj.坐落在...的，处于某种境地的 | |
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145
casement
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| n.竖铰链窗；窗扉 | |
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146
lustre
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| n.光亮，光泽；荣誉 | |
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147
glossy
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| adj.平滑的；有光泽的 | |
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148
gloss
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| n.光泽，光滑；虚饰；注释；vt.加光泽于；掩饰 | |
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149
belly
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| n.肚子，腹部；(像肚子一样)鼓起的部分，膛 | |
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150
remarkable
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|
| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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151
eddy
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| n.漩涡，涡流 | |
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152
dormant
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| adj.暂停活动的；休眠的；潜伏的 | |
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153
posture
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| n.姿势，姿态，心态，态度；v.作出某种姿势 | |
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154
prone
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| adj.(to)易于…的，很可能…的；俯卧的 | |
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155
delightfully
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| 大喜，欣然 | |
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156
swell
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| vi.膨胀，肿胀；增长，增强 | |
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157
watery
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| adj.有水的，水汪汪的；湿的，湿润的 | |
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158
glistening
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|
| adj.闪耀的，反光的v.湿物闪耀，闪亮( glisten的现在分词 ) | |
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159
conspiring
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|
| 密谋( conspire的现在分词 )； 搞阴谋； （事件等）巧合； 共同导致 | |
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160
exalt
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| v.赞扬，歌颂，晋升，提升 | |
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161
precisely
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| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
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162
torments
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| （肉体或精神上的）折磨，痛苦( torment的名词复数 )； 造成痛苦的事物[人] | |
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163
itching
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| adj.贪得的，痒的，渴望的v.发痒( itch的现在分词 ) | |
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164
cramp
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| n.痉挛；[pl.](腹)绞痛；vt.限制，束缚 | |
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165
killing
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| n.巨额利润；突然赚大钱，发大财 | |
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166
thither
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| adv.向那里；adj.在那边的，对岸的 | |
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167
solicitous
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| adj.热切的，挂念的 | |
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168
strenuous
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|
| adj.奋发的，使劲的；紧张的；热烈的，狂热的 | |
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169
consummating
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| v.使结束( consummate的现在分词 )；使完美；完婚；（婚礼后的）圆房 | |
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170
penetration
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| n.穿透，穿人，渗透 | |
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171
wrought
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| v.引起；以…原料制作；运转；adj.制造的 | |
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172
beseeching
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| adj.恳求似的v.恳求，乞求（某事物）( beseech的现在分词 ) | |
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173
regaining
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| 复得( regain的现在分词 )； 赢回； 重回； 复至某地 | |
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174
bloodiest
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| adj.血污的( bloody的最高级 )；流血的；屠杀的；残忍的 | |
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175
violation
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| n.违反(行为)，违背(行为)，侵犯 | |
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176
aggravating
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| adj.恼人的，讨厌的 | |
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177
preservation
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| n.保护，维护，保存，保留，保持 | |
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178
amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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179
ebbed
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| （指潮水）退( ebb的过去式和过去分词 )； 落； 减少； 衰落 | |
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180
resentment
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| n.怨愤，忿恨 | |
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181
submission
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| n.服从，投降；温顺，谦虚；提出 | |
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182
fervent
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| adj.热的，热烈的，热情的 | |
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183
entreaties
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| n.恳求，乞求( entreaty的名词复数 ) | |
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184
withhold
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| v.拒绝，不给；使停止，阻挡 | |
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185
clearance
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| n.净空；许可(证)；清算；清除，清理 | |
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186
alleviation
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| n. 减轻，缓和，解痛物 | |
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187
seduced
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| 诱奸( seduce的过去式和过去分词 )； 勾引； 诱使堕落； 使入迷 | |
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188
solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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189
prey
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| n.被掠食者，牺牲者，掠食；v.捕食，掠夺，折磨 | |
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190
reconciliation
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| n.和解，和谐，一致 | |
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191
softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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192
fiery
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| adj.燃烧着的，火红的；暴躁的；激烈的 | |
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193
soothing
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| adj.慰藉的；使人宽心的；镇静的 | |
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194
consolations
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| n.安慰，慰问( consolation的名词复数 )；起安慰作用的人（或事物） | |
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195
mischief
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| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
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196
passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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197
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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198
lasting
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| adj.永久的，永恒的；vbl.持续，维持 | |
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199
complexions
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| 肤色( complexion的名词复数 )； 面色； 局面； 性质 | |
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200
maxims
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| n.格言，座右铭( maxim的名词复数 ) | |
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201
propensity
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| n.倾向；习性 | |
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202
blemish
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| v.损害；玷污；瑕疵，缺点 | |
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203
watchfulness
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| 警惕，留心； 警觉（性） | |
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204
hereditary
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| adj.遗传的，遗传性的，可继承的，世袭的 | |
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205
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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206
impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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207
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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208
sprout
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| n.芽，萌芽；vt.使发芽，摘去芽；vi.长芽，抽条 | |
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209
annexed
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| [法] 附加的，附属的 | |
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210
pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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211
longings
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| 渴望，盼望( longing的名词复数 ) | |
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212
meditation
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| n.熟虑，（尤指宗教的）默想，沉思，（pl.）冥想录 | |
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213
overture
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| n.前奏曲、序曲，提议，提案，初步交涉 | |
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214
bliss
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| n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福 | |
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215
meditations
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| 默想( meditation的名词复数 )； 默念； 沉思； 冥想 | |
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216
disorder
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| n.紊乱，混乱；骚动，骚乱；疾病，失调 | |
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217
irritations
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| n.激怒( irritation的名词复数 )；恼怒；生气；令人恼火的事 | |
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218
tormented
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| 饱受折磨的 | |
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219
fretting
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| n. 微振磨损 adj. 烦躁的, 焦虑的 | |
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220
prodigious
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| adj.惊人的，奇妙的；异常的；巨大的；庞大的 | |
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221
agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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222
solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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223
amorous
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| adj.多情的；有关爱情的 | |
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224
paltry
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| adj.无价值的，微不足道的 | |
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225
insignificant
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| adj.无关紧要的，可忽略的，无意义的 | |
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226
titillation
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| n.搔痒，愉快；搔痒感 | |
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227
appease
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| v.安抚，缓和，平息，满足 | |
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228
instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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229
industriously
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230
rebellious
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| adj.造反的，反抗的，难控制的 | |
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231
elude
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| v.躲避，困惑 | |
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232
procure
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| vt.获得，取得，促成；vi.拉皮条 | |
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233
mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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234
jaunt
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| v.短程旅游；n.游览 | |
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235
pretext
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| n.借口，托词 | |
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236
eminent
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| adj.显赫的，杰出的，有名的，优良的 | |
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237
insipid
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| adj.无味的，枯燥乏味的，单调的 | |
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238
privy
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| adj.私用的；隐密的 | |
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239
tantalized
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| v.逗弄，引诱，折磨( tantalize的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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240
fatiguing
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| a.使人劳累的 | |
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241
agitations
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| （液体等的）摇动( agitation的名词复数 )； 鼓动； 激烈争论； （情绪等的）纷乱 | |
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242
distraction
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| n.精神涣散，精神不集中，消遣，娱乐 | |
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243
subdued
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| adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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244
bespoke
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| adj.（产品）订做的；专做订货的v.预定( bespeak的过去式 )；订（货）；证明；预先请求 | |
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245
novice
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| adj.新手的，生手的 | |
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246
dispositions
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| 安排( disposition的名词复数 )； 倾向； （财产、金钱的）处置； 气质 | |
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247
imprinted
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| v.盖印（imprint的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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248
invitingly
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| adv. 动人地 | |
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249
extremities
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| n.端点( extremity的名词复数 )；尽头；手和足；极窘迫的境地 | |
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250
repulse
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| n.击退，拒绝；vt.逐退，击退，拒绝 | |
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251
rogues
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| n.流氓( rogue的名词复数 )；无赖；调皮捣蛋的人；离群的野兽 | |
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252
imminent
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| adj.即将发生的，临近的，逼近的 | |
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253
prelude
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| n.序言，前兆，序曲 | |
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254
confinement
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| n.幽禁，拘留，监禁；分娩；限制，局限 | |
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255
devoured
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| 吞没( devour的过去式和过去分词 )； 耗尽； 津津有味地看； 狼吞虎咽地吃光 | |
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256
enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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257
rapture
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| n.狂喜；全神贯注；着迷；v.使狂喜 | |
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258
heed
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| v.注意，留意；n.注意，留心 | |
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259
mangled
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| vt.乱砍（mangle的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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260
exalted
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| adj.(地位等)高的，崇高的；尊贵的，高尚的 | |
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261
morsel
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| n.一口，一点点 | |
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262
crammed
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| adj.塞满的，挤满的；大口地吃；快速贪婪地吃v.把…塞满；填入；临时抱佛脚( cram的过去式) | |
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263
hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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264
confluence
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| n.汇合，聚集 | |
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265
raptures
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| 极度欢喜( rapture的名词复数 ) | |
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266
unfamiliar
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| adj.陌生的，不熟悉的 | |
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267
revels
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| n.作乐( revel的名词复数 )；狂欢；着迷；陶醉v.作乐( revel的第三人称单数 )；狂欢；着迷；陶醉 | |
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