"Write a book," quoth the author of my being.
"Don't know enough, sir. First live, then write.""Try teaching again," suggested my mother.
"No thank you, ma'am, ten years of that is enough.""Take a husband like my Darby, and fulfill1 your mission," said sister Joan, homeon a visit.
"Can't afford expensive luxuries, Mrs. Coobiddy.""Turn actress, and immortalize your name," said sister Vashti, striking anattitude.
"I won't.""Go nurse the soldiers," said my young brother, Tom, panting for "the tentedfield.""I will!" [Page 10]
So far, very good. Here was the will璶ow for the way. At first sight not a footof it appeared, but that didn't matter, for the Periwinkles are a hopeful race;their crest2 is an anchor, with three cock-a-doodles crowing atop. They all wearrose-colored spectacles, and are lineal descendants of the inventor of aerialarchitecture. An hour's conversation on the subject set the whole family in ablaze4 of enthusiasm. A model hospital was erected5, and each member had acceptedan honorable post therein. The paternal6 P. was chaplain, the maternal7 P wasmatron, and all the youthful P.s filled the pod of futurity with achievementswhose brilliancy eclipsed the glories of the present and the past. Arriving atthis satisfactory conclusion, the meeting adjourned8, and the fact that MissTribulation was available as army nurse went abroad on the wings of the wind.
In a few days a townswoman heard of my desire, approved of it, and brought aboutan interview with one of the sisterhood which I wished to join, who was at homeon a furlough, and able and willing to satisfy all inquiries10. A morning chatwith Miss General S.瓀e hear no end of Mrs. Generals, why not a Miss?璸roducedthree results: I felt that I could do the work, was offered a place, andaccepted it, promising11 not to desert, but stand ready to march on Washington atan hour's notice.
A few days were necessary for the letter containing my request andrecommendation to reach headquarters, and another, containing my commission, toreturn; therefore no time was to be lost; and heartily12 thanking my pair offriends, I tore home through the December slush as if the rebels were after me,and like many another recruit, burst in upon my family with the announcement?
"I've enlisted13!" [Page 11]
An impressive silence followed. Tom, the irrepressible, broke it with a slap onthe shoulder and the graceful14 compliment?
"Old Trib, you're a trump15!""Thank you; then I'll take something:" which I did, in the shape of dinner,reeling off my news at the rate of three dozen words to a mouthful; and as everyone else talked equally fast, and all together, the scene was most inspiring.
As boys going to sea immediately become nautical16 in speech, walk as if theyalready had their "sea legs" on, and shiver their timbers on all possibleoccasions, so I turned military at once, called my dinner my rations17, salutedall new comers, and ordered a dress parade that very afternoon. Having reviewedevery rag I possessed18, I detailed19 some for picket20 duty while airing over thefence; some to the sanitary21 influences of the wash-tub; others to mount guard inthe trunk; while the weak and wounded went to the Work-basket Hospital, to bemade ready for active service again. To this squad22 I devoted23 myself for a week;but all was done, and I had time to get powerfully impatient before the lettercame. It did arrive however, and brought a disappointment along with its goodwill25 and friendliness26, for it told me that the place in the Armory27 Hospital thatI supposed I was to take, was already filled, and a much less desirable one atHurly-burly House was offered instead.
"That's just your luck, Trib. I'll tote your trunk up garret for you again; forof course you won't go," Tom remarked, with the disdainful pity which small boysaffect when they get into their teens. I was wavering in my secret soul, butthat settled the matter, and I crushed him on the spot with martial28 brevity?
"It is now one; I shall march at six." [Page 12]
I have a confused recollection of spending the afternoon in pervading29 the houselike an executive whirlwind, with my family swarming30 after me, all working,talking, prophesying31 and lamenting32, while I packed my "go-abroady" possessions,tumbled the rest into two big boxes, danced on the lids till they shut, and gavethem in charge, with the direction,?
"If I never come back, make a bonfire of them."Then I choked down a cup of tea, generously salted instead of sugared, by someagitated relative, shouldered my knapsack璱t was only a traveling bag, but dolet me preserve the unities環ugged my family three times all round without avestige of unmanly emotion, till a certain dear old lady broke down upon myneck, with a despairing sort of wail34?
"Oh, my dear, my dear, how can I let you go?""I'll stay if you say so, mother.""But I don't; go, and the Lord will take care of you."Much of the Roman matron's courage had gone into the Yankee matron'scomposition, and, in spite of her tears, she would have sent ten sons to thewar, had she possessed them, as freely as she sent one daughter, smiling andflapping on the door-step till I vanished, though the eyes that followed me werevery dim, and the handkerchief she waved was very wet.
My transit35 from The Gables to the village depot36 was a funny mixture of goodwishes and good byes, mud-puddles and shopping. A December twilight37 is not themost cheering time to enter upon a somewhat perilous38 enterprise, and, but forthe presence of Vashti and neighbor Thorn, I fear that I might have added a dropof the briny39 to the native moisture of?
"The town I left behind me;"though I'd no thought of giving out: oh, bless you, no! When the enginescreeched "Here we are," I clutched my [Page 13] escort in a fervent40 embrace,and skipped into the car with as blithe41 a farewell as if going on a bridaltour璽hough I believe brides don't usually wear cavernous black bonnets42 andfuzzy brown coats, with a hair-brush, a pair of rubbers, two books, and a bag ofginger-bread distorting the pockets of the same. If I thought that any one wouldbelieve it, I'd boldly state that I slept from C. to B., which would simplifymatters immensely; but as I know they wouldn't, I'll confess that the head underthe funereal43 coal-hod fermented44 with all manner of high thoughts and heroicpurposes "to do or die,"璸erhaps both; and the heart under the fuzzy brown coatfelt very tender with the memory of the dear old lady, probably sobbing45 over herarmy socks and the loss of her topsy-turvy Trib. At this juncture46 I took theveil, and what I did behind it is nobody's business; but I maintain that thesoldier who cries when his mother says "Good bye," is the boy to fight best, anddie bravest, when the time comes, or go back to her better than he went.
Till nine o'clock I trotted47 about the city streets, doing those last errandswhich no woman would even go to heaven without attempting, if she could. Then Iwent to my usual refuge, and, fully24 intending to keep awake, as a sort of vigilappropriate to the occasion, fell fast asleep and dreamed propitious48 dreams tillmy rosy-faced cousin waked me with a kiss.
A bright day smiled upon my enterprise, and at ten I reported myself to myGeneral, received last instructions and no end of the sympathetic encouragementwhich women give, in look, touch, and tone more effectually than in words. Thenext step was to get a free pass to Washington, for I'd no desire to waste mysubstance on railroad companies when "the boys" needed even a spinster's mite49. Afriend of mine had procured50 such a pass, and I was bent51 on doing likewise, [Page14] though I had to face the president of the railroad to accomplish it. I'm abashful individual, though I can't get any one to believe it; so it cost me agreat effort to poke52 about the Worcester depot till the right door appeared,then walk into a room containing several gentlemen, and blunder out my requestin a high state of stammer53 and blush. Nothing could have been more courteousthan this dreaded54 President, but it was evident that I had made as absurd ademand as if I had asked for the nose off his respectable face. He referred meto the Governor at the State House, and I backed out, leaving him no doubt toregret that such mild maniacs55 were left at large. Here was a Scylla andCharybdis business: as if a President wasn't trying enough, without the Governorof Massachusetts and the hub of the hub piled on top of that. "I never can doit," thought I. "Tom will hoot56 at you if you don't," whispered the inconvenientlittle voice that is always goading57 people to the performance of disagreeableduties, and always appeals to the most effective agent to produce the properresult. The idea of allowing any boy that ever wore a felt basin and a shoddyjacket with a microscopic58 tail, to crow over me, was preposterous59, so givingmyself a mental slap for such faint-heartedness, I streamed away across theCommon, wondering if I ought to say "your Honor, or simply "Sir," and decidedupon the latter, fortifying60 myself with recollections of an evening in acharming green library, where I beheld61 the Governor placidly62 consuming oysters,and laughing as if Massachusetts was a myth, and he had no heavier burden on hisshoulders than his host's handsome hands.
Like an energetic fly in a very large cobweb, I struggled through the StateHouse, getting into all the wrong rooms and none of the right, till I turneddesperate, and went into one, resolving not to come out till I'd made somebodyhear and [Page 15] answer me. I suspect that of all the wrong places I hadblundered into, this was the most so. But I didn't care; and, though theapartment was full of soldiers, surgeons, starers, and spittoons, I cornered aperfectly incapable63 person, and proceeded to pump for information with thefollowing result:
"Was the Governor anywhere about?"No, he wasn't.
"Could he tell me where to look?"No, he couldn't.
"Did he know anything about free passes?"No, he didn't.
"Was there any one there of whom I could inquire?"Not a person.
"Did he know of any place where information could be obtained?"Not a place.
"Could he throw the smallest gleam of light upon the matter, in any way?"Not a ray.
I am naturally irascible, and if I could have shaken this negative gentlemanvigorously, the relief would have been immense. The prejudices of societyforbidding this mode of redress64, I merely glowered65 at him; and, before my wrathfound vent3 in words, my General appeared, having seen me from an oppositewindow, and come to know what I was about. At her command the languid gentlemanwoke up, and troubled himself to remember that Major or Sergeant66 or something McK. knew all about the tickets, and his office was in Milk Street. I perked67 upinstanter, and then, as if the exertion68 was too much for him, what did thisanimated wet blanket do but add?[Page 16]
"I think Mc K. may have left Milk Street, now, and I don't know where he hasgone.""Never mind; the new comers will know where he has moved to, my dear, so don'tbe discouraged; and if you don't succeed, come to me, and we will see what to donext," said my General.
I blessed her in a fervent manner and a cool hall, fluttered round the corner,and bore down upon Milk Street, bent on discovering Mc K. if such a being was tobe found. He wasn't, and the ignorance of the neighborhood was really pitiable.
Nobody knew anything, and after tumbling over bundles of leather, bumpingagainst big boxes, being nearly annihilated69 by descending70 bales, and sworn at byaggravated truckmen, I finally elicited71 the advice to look for Mc K. inHaymarket Square. Who my informant was I've really forgotten; for, having hailedseveral busy gentlemen, some one of them fabricated this delusive72 quietus forthe perturbed73 spirit, who instantly departed to the sequestered74 locality henamed. If I had been in search of the Koh-i-noor diamond I should have been aslikely to find it there as any vestige33 of Mc K. I stared at signs, inquired inshops, invaded an eating house, visited the recruiting tent in the middle of theSquare, made myself a nuisance generally, and accumulated mud enough to retardanother Nile. All in vain: and I mournfully turned my face toward the General's,feeling that I should be forced to enrich the railroad company after all; when,suddenly, I beheld that admirable young man, brother-in-law Darby Coobiddy, Esq.
I arrested him with a burst of news, and wants, and woes75, which caused his manlycountenance to lose its usual repose76.
"Oh, my dear boy, I'm going to Washington at five, and I can't find the freeticket man, and there won't be time to see [Page 17] Joan, and I'm so tired andcross I don't know what to do; and will you help me, like a cherub77 as you are?""Oh, yes, of course. I know a fellow who will set us right," responded Darby,mildly excited, and darting78 into some kind of an office, held counsel with aninvisible angel, who sent him out radiant. "All serene79. I've got him. I'll seeyou through the business, and then get Joan from the Dove Cote in time to seeyou off."I'm a woman's rights woman, and if any man had offered help in the morning, Ishould have condescendingly refused it, sure that I could do everything as well,if not better, myself. My strong-mindedness had rather abated80 since then, and Iwas now quite ready to be a "timid trembler," if necessary. Dear me! how easilyDarby did it all: he just asked one question, received an answer, tucked meunder his arm, and in ten minutes I stood in the presence of Mc K., the Desired.
"Now my troubles are over," thought I, and as usual was direfully mistaken.
"You will have to get a pass from Dr. H., in Temple Place, before I can give youa pass, madam," answered Mc K., as blandly81 as if he wasn't carrying desolationto my soul. Oh, indeed! why didn't he send me to Dorchester Heights, IndiaWharf, or Bunker Hill Monument, and done with it? Here I was, after a morning'stramp, down in some place about Dock Square, and was told to step to TemplePlace. Nor was that all; he might as well have asked me to catch a hummingbird,toast a salamander, or call on the man in the moon, as find a Doctor at home atthe busiest hour of the day. It was a blow; but weariness had extinguishedenthusiasm, and resignation clothed me as a garment. I sent Darby for Joan, anddoggedly paddled off, feeling that mud was my native ele- [Page 18] ment, andquite sure that the evening papers would announce the appearance of theWandering Jew, in feminine habiliments.
"Is Dr. H. in?""No, mum, he aint."Of course he wasn't; I knew that before I asked: and, considering it all in thelight of a hollow mockery, added:
"When will he probably return?"If the damsel had said, "ten to-night," I should have felt a grim satisfaction,in the fulfillment of my own dark prophecy; but she said, "At two, mum;" and Ifelt it a personal insult.
"I'll call, then. Tell him my business is important:" with which mysteriouslydelivered message I departed, hoping that I left her consumed with curiosity;for mud rendered me an object of interest.
By way of resting myself, I crossed the Common, for the third time, bespoke82 thecarriage, got some lunch, packed my purchases, smoothed my plumage, and was backagain, as the clock struck two. The Doctor hadn't come yet; and I was morallycertain that he would not, till, having waited till the last minute, I wasdriven to buy a ticket, and, five minutes after the irrevocable deed was done,he would be at my service, with all manner of helpful documents and directions.
Everything goes by contraries with me; so, having made up my mind to bedisappointed, of course I wasn't; for, presently, in walked Dr. H., and nosooner had he heard my errand, and glanced at my credentials83, than he said, withthe most engaging readiness:
"I will give you the order, with pleasure, madam."Words cannot express how soothing84 and delightful85 it was to find, at last,somebody who could do what I wanted, without sending me from Dan to Beersheba,for a dozen other bodies [Page 19] to do something else first. Peace descended,like oil, upon the ruffled86 waters of my being, as I sat listening to the busyscratch of his pen; and, when he turned about, giving me not only the order, buta paper of directions wherewith to smooth away all difficulties between Bostonand Washington, I felt as did poor Christian87 when the Evangelist gave him thescroll, on the safe side of the Slough88 of Despond. I've no doubt many dismalnurses have inflicted89 themselves upon the worthy90 gentleman since then; but I amsure none have been more kindly91 helped, or are more grateful, than T. P.; forthat short interview added another to the many pleasant associations thatalready surround his name.
Feeling myself no longer a "Martha Struggles," but a comfortable young woman,with plain sailing before her, and the worst of the voyage well over, I oncemore presented myself to the valuable Mc K. The order was read, and certainprinted papers, necessary to be filled out, were given a young gentleman璶o, Iprefer to say Boy, with a scornful emphasis upon the word, as the only means ofrevenge now left me. This Boy, instead of doing his duty with the diligence socharming in the young, loitered and lounged, in a manner which proved hiseducation to have been sadly neglected in the?
"How doth the little busy bee,"direction. He stared at me, gaped92 out of the window, ate peanuts, and gossipedwith his neighbors瑽oys, like himself, and all penned in a row, like colts at aCattle Show. I don't imagine he knew the anguish93 he was inflicting94; for it wasnearly three, the train left at five, and I had my ticket to get, my dinner toeat, my blessed sister to see, and the depot to reach, if I didn't die ofapoplexy. Meanwhile, Patience certainly had her perfect work that day, and Ihope she en- [Page 20] joyed the job more than I did. Having waited some twentyminutes, it pleased this reprehensible95 Boy to make various marks and blots96 on mydocuments, toss them to a venerable creature of sixteen, who delivered them tome with such paternal directions, that it only needed a pat on the head and anencouraging?Now run home to your Ma, little girl, and mind the crossings, mydear," to make the illusion quite perfect.
Why I was sent to a steamboat office for car tickets, is not for me to say,though I went as meekly97 as I should have gone to the Probate Court, if sent. Afat, easy gentleman gave me several bits of paper, with coupons98 attached, with awarning not to separate them, which instantly inspired me with a yearning99 topluck them apart, and see what came of it. But, remembering through what fearand tribulation9 I had obtained them, I curbed100 Satan's promptings, and, clutchingmy prize, as if it were my pass to the Elysian Fields, I hurried home. Dinnerwas rapidly consumed; Joan enlightened, comforted, and kissed; the dearest ofapple-faced cousins hugged; the kindest of apple-faced cousins' fatherssubjected to the same process; and I mounted the ambulance, baggage-wagon, oranything you please but hack101, and drove away, too tired to feel excited, sorry,or glad.
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1
fulfill
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| vt.履行，实现，完成；满足，使满意 | |
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crest
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| n.顶点；饰章；羽冠；vt.达到顶点；vi.形成浪尖 | |
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vent
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| n.通风口，排放口；开衩；vt.表达，发泄 | |
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ablaze
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| adj.着火的，燃烧的；闪耀的，灯火辉煌的 | |
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ERECTED
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| adj. 直立的，竖立的，笔直的 vt. 使 ... 直立，建立 | |
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paternal
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| adj.父亲的，像父亲的，父系的，父方的 | |
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maternal
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| adj.母亲的，母亲般的，母系的，母方的 | |
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adjourned
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tribulation
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inquiries
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| n.调查( inquiry的名词复数 )；疑问；探究；打听 | |
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promising
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heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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enlisted
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| adj.应募入伍的v.（使）入伍， （使）参军( enlist的过去式和过去分词 )；获得（帮助或支持） | |
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graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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trump
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| n.王牌，法宝；v.打出王牌，吹喇叭 | |
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nautical
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rations
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| 定量( ration的名词复数 )； 配给量； 正常量； 合理的量 | |
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possessed
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detailed
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picket
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sanitary
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| adj.卫生方面的，卫生的，清洁的，卫生的 | |
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squad
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devoted
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fully
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goodwill
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friendliness
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armory
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| n.纹章，兵工厂，军械库 | |
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martial
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| adj.战争的，军事的，尚武的，威武的 | |
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pervading
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swarming
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| 密集( swarm的现在分词 )； 云集； 成群地移动； 蜜蜂或其他飞行昆虫成群地飞来飞去 | |
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prophesying
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lamenting
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vestige
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wail
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transit
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depot
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twilight
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perilous
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| adj.危险的，冒险的 | |
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briny
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| adj.盐水的；很咸的；n.海洋 | |
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fervent
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| adj.热的，热烈的，热情的 | |
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blithe
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| adj.快乐的，无忧无虑的 | |
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bonnets
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| n.童帽( bonnet的名词复数 )；（烟囱等的）覆盖物；（苏格兰男子的）无边呢帽；（女子戴的）任何一种帽子 | |
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funereal
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| adj.悲哀的；送葬的 | |
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fermented
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| v.（使）发酵( ferment的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）激动；骚动；骚扰 | |
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sobbing
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| <主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的 | |
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juncture
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| n.时刻，关键时刻，紧要关头 | |
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trotted
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| 小跑，急走( trot的过去分词 )； 匆匆忙忙地走 | |
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propitious
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| adj.吉利的；顺利的 | |
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mite
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| n.极小的东西；小铜币 | |
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procured
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| v.（努力）取得， （设法）获得( procure的过去式和过去分词 )；拉皮条 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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poke
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| n.刺，戳，袋；vt.拨开，刺，戳；vi.戳，刺，捅，搜索，伸出，行动散慢 | |
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53
stammer
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| n.结巴，口吃；v.结结巴巴地说 | |
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54
dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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maniacs
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| n.疯子（maniac的复数形式） | |
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hoot
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| n.鸟叫声，汽车的喇叭声； v.使汽车鸣喇叭 | |
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goading
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| v.刺激( goad的现在分词 )；激励；（用尖棒）驱赶；驱使（或怂恿、刺激）某人 | |
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microscopic
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| adj.微小的，细微的，极小的，显微的 | |
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preposterous
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| adj.荒谬的，可笑的 | |
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fortifying
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| 筑防御工事于( fortify的现在分词 )； 筑堡于； 增强； 强化（食品） | |
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61
beheld
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| v.看，注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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placidly
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| adv.平稳地，平静地 | |
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incapable
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| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 | |
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redress
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| n.赔偿，救济，矫正；v.纠正，匡正，革除 | |
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glowered
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| v.怒视( glower的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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sergeant
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| n.警官，中士 | |
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perked
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| （使）活跃( perk的过去式和过去分词 )； （使）增值； 使更有趣 | |
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exertion
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| n.尽力，努力 | |
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annihilated
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| v.（彻底）消灭( annihilate的过去式和过去分词 )；使无效；废止；彻底击溃 | |
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descending
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| n. 下行 adj. 下降的 | |
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elicited
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| 引出，探出( elicit的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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delusive
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| adj.欺骗的，妄想的 | |
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perturbed
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| adj.烦燥不安的v.使（某人）烦恼，不安( perturb的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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sequestered
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| adj.扣押的；隐退的；幽静的；偏僻的v.使隔绝，使隔离( sequester的过去式和过去分词 )；扣押 | |
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woes
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| 困境( woe的名词复数 )； 悲伤； 我好苦哇； 某人就要倒霉 | |
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repose
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| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
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cherub
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| n.小天使，胖娃娃 | |
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darting
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| v.投掷，投射( dart的现在分词 )；向前冲，飞奔 | |
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serene
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| adj. 安详的，宁静的，平静的 | |
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abated
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| 减少( abate的过去式和过去分词 )； 减去； 降价； 撤消（诉讼） | |
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blandly
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| adv.温和地，殷勤地 | |
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bespoke
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| adj.（产品）订做的；专做订货的v.预定( bespeak的过去式 )；订（货）；证明；预先请求 | |
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credentials
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| n.证明，资格，证明书，证件 | |
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soothing
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| adj.慰藉的；使人宽心的；镇静的 | |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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ruffled
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| adj. 有褶饰边的, 起皱的 动词ruffle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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slough
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| v.蜕皮，脱落，抛弃 | |
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inflicted
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| 把…强加给，使承受，遭受( inflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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gaped
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| v.目瞪口呆地凝视( gape的过去式和过去分词 )；张开，张大 | |
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anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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inflicting
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| 把…强加给，使承受，遭受( inflict的现在分词 ) | |
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reprehensible
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| adj.该受责备的 | |
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96
blots
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| 污渍( blot的名词复数 )； 墨水渍； 错事； 污点 | |
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meekly
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| adv.温顺地，逆来顺受地 | |
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98
coupons
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| n.礼券( coupon的名词复数 )；优惠券；订货单；参赛表 | |
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yearning
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| a.渴望的；向往的；怀念的 | |
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curbed
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| v.限制，克制，抑制( curb的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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101
hack
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| n.劈，砍，出租马车；v.劈，砍，干咳 | |
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