Mr Glowry used to say that his house was no better than a spacious29 kennel30, for every one in it led the life of a dog. Disappointed both in love and in friendship, and looking upon human learning as vanity, he had come to a conclusion that there was but one good thing in the world, videlicet, a good dinner; and this his parsimonious31 lady seldom suffered him to enjoy: but, one morning, like Sir Leoline in Christabel, ‘he woke and found his lady dead,’ and remained a very consulate32 widower33, with one small child.
This only son and heir Mr Glowry had christened Scythrop, from the name of a maternal34 ancestor, who had hanged himself one rainy day in a fit of toedium vitae, and had been eulogised by a coroner’s jury in the comprehensive phrase of felo de se; on which account, Mr Glowry held his memory in high honour, and made a punchbowl of his skull35.
When Scythrop grew up, he was sent, as usual, to a public school, where a little learning was painfully beaten into him, and from thence to the university, where it was carefully taken out of him; and he was sent home like a well-threshed ear of corn, with nothing in his head: having finished his education to the high satisfaction of the master and fellows of his college, who had, in testimony36 of their approbation37, presented him with a silver fish-slice, on which his name figured at the head of a laudatory38 inscription39 in some semi-barbarous dialect of Anglo–Saxonised Latin.
His fellow-students, however, who drove tandem40 and random41 in great perfection, and were connoisseurs42 in good inns, had taught him to drink deep ere he departed. He had passed much of his time with these choice spirits, and had seen the rays of the midnight lamp tremble on many a lengthening43 file of empty bottles. He passed his vacations sometimes at Nightmare Abbey, sometimes in London, at the house of his uncle, Mr Hilary, a very cheerful and elastic44 gentleman, who had married the sister of the melancholy45 Mr Glowry. The company that frequented his house was the gayest of the gay. Scythrop danced with the ladies and drank with the gentlemen, and was pronounced by both a very accomplished charming fellow, and an honour to the university.
At the house of Mr Hilary, Scythrop first saw the beautiful Miss Emily Girouette. He fell in love; which is nothing new. He was favourably46 received; which is nothing strange. Mr Glowry and Mr Girouette had a meeting on the occasion, and quarrelled about the terms of the bargain; which is neither new nor strange. The lovers were torn asunder, weeping and vowing47 everlasting48 constancy; and, in three weeks after this tragical49 event, the lady was led a smiling bride to the altar, by the Honourable50 Mr Lackwit; which is neither strange nor new.
Scythrop received this intelligence at Nightmare Abbey, and was half distracted on the occasion. It was his first disappointment, and preyed52 deeply on his sensitive spirit. His father, to comfort him, read him a Commentary on Ecclesiastes, which he had himself composed, and which demonstrated incontrovertibly that all is vanity. He insisted particularly on the text, ‘One man among a thousand have I found, but a woman amongst all those have I not found.’
‘How could he expect it,’ said Scythrop, ‘when the whole thousand were locked up in his seraglio? His experience is no precedent53 for a free state of society like that in which we live.’
‘Locked up or at large,’ said Mr Glowry, ‘the result is the same: their minds are always locked up, and vanity and interest keep the key. I speak feelingly, Scythrop.’
‘I am sorry for it, sir,’ said Scythrop. ‘But how is it that their minds are locked up? The fault is in their artificial education, which studiously models them into mere54 musical dolls, to be set out for sale in the great toy-shop of society.’
‘To be sure,’ said Mr Glowry, ‘their education is not so well finished as yours has been; and your idea of a musical doll is good. I bought one myself, but it was confoundedly out of tune23; but, whatever be the cause, Scythrop, the effect is certainly this, that one is pretty nearly as good as another, as far as any judgment55 can be formed of them before marriage. It is only after marriage that they show their true qualities, as I know by bitter experience. Marriage is, therefore, a lottery56, and the less choice and selection a man bestows57 on his ticket the better; for, if he has incurred58 considerable pains and expense to obtain a lucky number, and his lucky number proves a blank, he experiences not a simple, but a complicated disappointment; the loss of labour and money being superadded to the disappointment of drawing a blank, which, constituting simply and entirely59 the grievance60 of him who has chosen his ticket at random, is, from its simplicity61, the more endurable.’ This very excellent reasoning was thrown away upon Scythrop, who retired62 to his tower as dismal63 and disconsolate64 as before.
The tower which Scythrop inhabited stood at the south-eastern angle of the Abbey; and, on the southern side, the foot of the tower opened on a terrace, which was called the garden, though nothing grew on it but ivy65, and a few amphibious weeds. The south-western tower, which was ruinous and full of owls66, might, with equal propriety67, have been called the aviary68. This terrace or garden, or terrace-garden, or garden-terrace (the reader may name it ad libitum), took in an oblique69 view of the open sea, and fronted a long tract51 of level sea-coast, and a fine monotony of fens and windmills.
The reader will judge, from what we have said, that this building was a sort of castellated abbey; and it will, probably, occur to him to inquire if it had been one of the strong-holds of the ancient church militant70. Whether this was the case, or how far it had been indebted to the taste of Mr Glowry’s ancestors for any transmutations from its original state, are, unfortunately, circumstances not within the pale of our knowledge.
The north-western tower contained the apartments of Mr Glowry. The moat at its base, and the fens beyond, comprised the whole of his prospect71. This moat surrounded the Abbey, and was in immediate72 contact with the walls on every side but the south.
The north-eastern tower was appropriated to the domestics, whom Mr Glowry always chose by one of two criterions — a long face, or a dismal name. His butler was Raven73; his steward74 was Crow; his valet was Skellet. Mr Glowry maintained that the valet was of French extraction, and that his name was Squelette. His grooms75 were Mattocks and Graves. On one occasion, being in want of a footman, he received a letter from a person signing himself Diggory Deathshead, and lost no time in securing this acquisition; but on Diggory’s arrival, Mr Glowry was horror-struck by the sight of a round ruddy face, and a pair of laughing eyes. Deathshead was always grinning — not a ghastly smile, but the grin of a comic mask; and disturbed the echoes of the hall with so much unhallowed laughter, that Mr Glowry gave him his discharge. Diggory, however, had staid long enough to make conquests of all the old gentleman’s maids, and left him a flourishing colony of young Deathsheads to join chorus with the owls, that had before been the exclusive choristers of Nightmare Abbey.
The main body of the building was divided into rooms of state, spacious apartments for feasting, and numerous bed-rooms for visitors, who, however, were few and far between.
Family interests compelled Mr Glowry to receive occasional visits from Mr and Mrs Hilary, who paid them from the same motive76; and, as the lively gentleman on these occasions found few conductors for his exuberant77 gaiety, he became like a double-charged electric jar, which often exploded in some burst of outrageous78 merriment to the signal discomposure of Mr Glowry’s nerves.
Another occasional visitor, much more to Mr Glowry’s taste, was Mr Flosky,1 a very lachrymose79 and morbid80 gentleman, of some note in the literary world, but in his own estimation of much more merit than name. The part of his character which recommended him to Mr Glowry, was his very fine sense of the grim and the tearful. No one could relate a dismal story with so many minuti? of supererogatory wretchedness. No one could call up a raw-head and bloody-bones with so many adjuncts and circumstances of ghastliness. Mystery was his mental element. He lived in the midst of that visionary world in which nothing is but what is not. He dreamed with his eyes open, and saw ghosts dancing round him at noontide. He had been in his youth an enthusiast81 for liberty, and had hailed the dawn of the French Revolution as the promise of a day that was to banish82 war and slavery, and every form of vice83 and misery84, from the face of the earth. Because all this was not done, he deduced that nothing was done; and from this deduction85, according to his system of logic86, he drew a conclusion that worse than nothing was done; that the overthrow87 of the feudal88 fortresses89 of tyranny and superstition90 was the greatest calamity91 that had ever befallen mankind; and that their only hope now was to rake the rubbish together, and rebuild it without any of those loopholes by which the light had originally crept in. To qualify himself for a coadjutor in this laudable task, he plunged92 into the central opacity93 of Kantian metaphysics, and lay perdu several years in transcendental darkness, till the common daylight of common sense became intolerable to his eyes. He called the sun an ignis fatuus; and exhorted94 all who would listen to his friendly voice, which were about as many as called ‘God save King Richard,’ to shelter themselves from its delusive95 radiance in the obscure haunt of Old Philosophy. This word Old had great charms for him. The good old times were always on his lips; meaning the days when polemic96 theology was in its prime, and rival prelates beat the drum ecclesiastic97 with Herculean vigour98, till the one wound up his series of syllogisms with the very orthodox conclusion of roasting the other.
But the dearest friend of Mr Glowry, and his most welcome guest, was Mr Toobad, the Manichaean Millenarian. The twelfth verse of the twelfth chapter of Revelations was always in his mouth: ‘Woe to the inhabiters of the earth and of the sea! for the devil is come among you, having great wrath99, because he knoweth that he hath but a short time.’ He maintained that the supreme100 dominion101 of the world was, for wise purposes, given over for a while to the Evil Principle; and that this precise period of time, commonly called the enlightened age, was the point of his plenitude of power. He used to add that by and by he would be cast down, and a high and happy order of things succeed; but he never omitted the saving clause, ‘Not in our time’; which last words were always echoed in doleful response by the sympathetic Mr Glowry.
Another and very frequent visitor, was the Reverend Mr Larynx, the vicar of Claydyke, a village about ten miles distant; — a good-natured accommodating divine, who was always most obligingly ready to take a dinner and a bed at the house of any country gentleman in distress102 for a companion. Nothing came amiss to him — a game at billiards103, at chess, at draughts104, at backgammon, at piquet, or at all-fours in a tête-à-tête — or any game on the cards, round, square, or triangular105, in a party of any number exceeding two. He would even dance among friends, rather than that a lady, even if she were on the wrong side of thirty, should sit still for want of a partner. For a ride, a walk, or a sail, in the morning — a song after dinner, a ghost story after supper — a bottle of port with the squire5, or a cup of green tea with his lady — for all or any of these, or for any thing else that was agreeable to any one else, consistently with the dye of his coat, the Reverend Mr Larynx was at all times equally ready. When at Nightmare Abbey, he would condole106 with Mr Glowry — drink Madeira with Scythrop — crack jokes with Mr Hilary — hand Mrs Hilary to the piano, take charge of her fan and gloves, and turn over her music with surprising dexterity107 — quote Revelations with Mr Toobad — and lament108 the good old times of feudal darkness with the transcendental Mr Flosky.
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1 picturesque | |
adj.美丽如画的,(语言)生动的,绘声绘色的 | |
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2 situated | |
adj.坐落在...的,处于某种境地的 | |
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3 fens | |
n.(尤指英格兰东部的)沼泽地带( fen的名词复数 ) | |
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4 verge | |
n.边,边缘;v.接近,濒临 | |
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5 squire | |
n.护卫, 侍从, 乡绅 | |
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6 temperament | |
n.气质,性格,性情 | |
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7 phantoms | |
n.鬼怪,幽灵( phantom的名词复数 ) | |
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8 pique | |
v.伤害…的自尊心,使生气 n.不满,生气 | |
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9 asunder | |
adj.分离的,化为碎片 | |
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10 attachment | |
n.附属物,附件;依恋;依附 | |
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11 possessed | |
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的 | |
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12 participation | |
n.参与,参加,分享 | |
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13 wilful | |
adj.任性的,故意的 | |
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14 blight | |
n.枯萎病;造成破坏的因素;vt.破坏,摧残 | |
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15 immolated | |
v.宰杀…作祭品( immolate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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16 inveterate | |
adj.积习已深的,根深蒂固的 | |
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17 avarice | |
n.贪婪;贪心 | |
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18 disorder | |
n.紊乱,混乱;骚动,骚乱;疾病,失调 | |
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19 accomplished | |
adj.有才艺的;有造诣的;达到了的 | |
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20 deserted | |
adj.荒芜的,荒废的,无人的,被遗弃的 | |
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21 simile | |
n.直喻,明喻 | |
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22 attuned | |
v.使协调( attune的过去式和过去分词 );调音 | |
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23 tune | |
n.调子;和谐,协调;v.调音,调节,调整 | |
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24 transcends | |
超出或超越(经验、信念、描写能力等)的范围( transcend的第三人称单数 ); 优于或胜过… | |
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25 discord | |
n.不和,意见不合,争论,(音乐)不和谐 | |
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26 unnatural | |
adj.不自然的;反常的 | |
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27 shrillness | |
尖锐刺耳 | |
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28 impatience | |
n.不耐烦,急躁 | |
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29 spacious | |
adj.广阔的,宽敞的 | |
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30 kennel | |
n.狗舍,狗窝 | |
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31 parsimonious | |
adj.吝啬的,质量低劣的 | |
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32 consulate | |
n.领事馆 | |
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33 widower | |
n.鳏夫 | |
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34 maternal | |
adj.母亲的,母亲般的,母系的,母方的 | |
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35 skull | |
n.头骨;颅骨 | |
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36 testimony | |
n.证词;见证,证明 | |
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37 approbation | |
n.称赞;认可 | |
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38 laudatory | |
adj.赞扬的 | |
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39 inscription | |
n.(尤指石块上的)刻印文字,铭文,碑文 | |
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40 tandem | |
n.同时发生;配合;adv.一个跟着一个地;纵排地;adj.(两匹马)前后纵列的 | |
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41 random | |
adj.随机的;任意的;n.偶然的(或随便的)行动 | |
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42 connoisseurs | |
n.鉴赏家,鉴定家,行家( connoisseur的名词复数 ) | |
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43 lengthening | |
(时间或空间)延长,伸长( lengthen的现在分词 ); 加长 | |
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44 elastic | |
n.橡皮圈,松紧带;adj.有弹性的;灵活的 | |
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45 melancholy | |
n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的 | |
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46 favourably | |
adv. 善意地,赞成地 =favorably | |
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47 vowing | |
起誓,发誓(vow的现在分词形式) | |
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48 everlasting | |
adj.永恒的,持久的,无止境的 | |
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49 tragical | |
adj. 悲剧的, 悲剧性的 | |
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50 honourable | |
adj.可敬的;荣誉的,光荣的 | |
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51 tract | |
n.传单,小册子,大片(土地或森林) | |
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52 preyed | |
v.掠食( prey的过去式和过去分词 );掠食;折磨;(人)靠欺诈为生 | |
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53 precedent | |
n.先例,前例;惯例;adj.在前的,在先的 | |
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54 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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55 judgment | |
n.审判;判断力,识别力,看法,意见 | |
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56 lottery | |
n.抽彩;碰运气的事,难于算计的事 | |
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57 bestows | |
赠给,授予( bestow的第三人称单数 ) | |
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58 incurred | |
[医]招致的,遭受的; incur的过去式 | |
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59 entirely | |
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
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60 grievance | |
n.怨愤,气恼,委屈 | |
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61 simplicity | |
n.简单,简易;朴素;直率,单纯 | |
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62 retired | |
adj.隐退的,退休的,退役的 | |
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63 dismal | |
adj.阴沉的,凄凉的,令人忧郁的,差劲的 | |
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64 disconsolate | |
adj.忧郁的,不快的 | |
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65 ivy | |
n.常青藤,常春藤 | |
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66 owls | |
n.猫头鹰( owl的名词复数 ) | |
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67 propriety | |
n.正当行为;正当;适当 | |
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68 aviary | |
n.大鸟笼,鸟舍 | |
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69 oblique | |
adj.斜的,倾斜的,无诚意的,不坦率的 | |
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70 militant | |
adj.激进的,好斗的;n.激进分子,斗士 | |
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71 prospect | |
n.前景,前途;景色,视野 | |
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72 immediate | |
adj.立即的;直接的,最接近的;紧靠的 | |
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73 raven | |
n.渡鸟,乌鸦;adj.乌亮的 | |
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74 steward | |
n.乘务员,服务员;看管人;膳食管理员 | |
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75 grooms | |
n.新郎( groom的名词复数 );马夫v.照料或梳洗(马等)( groom的第三人称单数 );使做好准备;训练;(给动物)擦洗 | |
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76 motive | |
n.动机,目的;adv.发动的,运动的 | |
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77 exuberant | |
adj.充满活力的;(植物)繁茂的 | |
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78 outrageous | |
adj.无理的,令人不能容忍的 | |
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79 lachrymose | |
adj.好流泪的,引人落泪的;adv.眼泪地,哭泣地 | |
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80 morbid | |
adj.病的;致病的;病态的;可怕的 | |
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81 enthusiast | |
n.热心人,热衷者 | |
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82 banish | |
vt.放逐,驱逐;消除,排除 | |
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83 vice | |
n.坏事;恶习;[pl.]台钳,老虎钳;adj.副的 | |
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84 misery | |
n.痛苦,苦恼,苦难;悲惨的境遇,贫苦 | |
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85 deduction | |
n.减除,扣除,减除额;推论,推理,演绎 | |
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86 logic | |
n.逻辑(学);逻辑性 | |
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87 overthrow | |
v.推翻,打倒,颠覆;n.推翻,瓦解,颠覆 | |
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88 feudal | |
adj.封建的,封地的,领地的 | |
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89 fortresses | |
堡垒,要塞( fortress的名词复数 ) | |
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90 superstition | |
n.迷信,迷信行为 | |
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91 calamity | |
n.灾害,祸患,不幸事件 | |
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92 plunged | |
v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 );暴跌;骤降;突降 | |
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93 opacity | |
n.不透明;难懂 | |
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94 exhorted | |
v.劝告,劝说( exhort的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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95 delusive | |
adj.欺骗的,妄想的 | |
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96 polemic | |
n.争论,论战 | |
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97 ecclesiastic | |
n.教士,基督教会;adj.神职者的,牧师的,教会的 | |
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98 vigour | |
(=vigor)n.智力,体力,精力 | |
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99 wrath | |
n.愤怒,愤慨,暴怒 | |
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100 supreme | |
adj.极度的,最重要的;至高的,最高的 | |
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101 dominion | |
n.统治,管辖,支配权;领土,版图 | |
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102 distress | |
n.苦恼,痛苦,不舒适;不幸;vt.使悲痛 | |
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103 billiards | |
n.台球 | |
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104 draughts | |
n. <英>国际跳棋 | |
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105 triangular | |
adj.三角(形)的,三者间的 | |
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106 condole | |
v.同情;慰问 | |
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107 dexterity | |
n.(手的)灵巧,灵活 | |
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108 lament | |
n.悲叹,悔恨,恸哭;v.哀悼,悔恨,悲叹 | |
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