And in our life alone does nature live:
Ours is her wedding garments ours her shrorwd!
. . . . .
Ah! from the soul itself must issue forth1,
A light, a glory, a fair luminous2 cloud,
Enveloping3 the Earth —
And from the soul itself must there be sent
A sweet and potent4 voice of its own birth,
Of all sweet sounds the life and element!”
COLERIDGE.
From this time, until I arrived at the palace of Fairy Land, I can attempt no consecutive5 account of my wanderings and adventures. Everything, henceforward, existed for me in its relation to my attendant. What influence he exercised upon everything into contact with which I was brought, may be understood from a few detached instances. To begin with this very day on which he first joined me: after I had walked heartlessly along for two or three hours, I was very weary, and lay down to rest in a most delightful6 part of the forest, carpeted with wild flowers. I lay for half an hour in a dull repose7, and then got up to pursue my way. The flowers on the spot where I had lain were crushed to the earth: but I saw that they would soon lift their heads and rejoice again in the sun and air. Not so those on which my shadow had lain. The very outline of it could be traced in the withered8 lifeless grass, and the scorched9 and shrivelled flowers which stood there, dead, and hopeless of any resurrection. I shuddered10, and hastened away with sad forebodings.
In a few days, I had reason to dread11 an extension of its baleful influences from the fact, that it was no longer confined to one position in regard to myself. Hitherto, when seized with an irresistible12 desire to look on my evil demon13 (which longing14 would unaccountably seize me at any moment, returning at longer or shorter intervals15, sometimes every minute), I had to turn my head backwards16, and look over my shoulder; in which position, as long as I could retain it, I was fascinated. But one day, having come out on a clear grassy17 hill, which commanded a glorious prospect18, though of what I cannot now tell, my shadow moved round, and came in front of me. And, presently, a new manifestation19 increased my distress20. For it began to coruscate21, and shoot out on all sides a radiation of dim shadow. These rays of gloom issued from the central shadow as from a black sun, lengthening23 and shortening with continual change. But wherever a ray struck, that part of earth, or sea, or sky, became void, and desert, and sad to my heart. On this, the first development of its new power, one ray shot out beyond the rest, seeming to lengthen22 infinitely24, until it smote25 the great sun on the face, which withered and darkened beneath the blow. I turned away and went on. The shadow retreated to its former position; and when I looked again, it had drawn26 in all its spears of darkness, and followed like a dog at my heels.
Once, as I passed by a cottage, there came out a lovely fairy child, with two wondrous27 toys, one in each hand. The one was the tube through which the fairy-gifted poet looks when he beholds28 the same thing everywhere; the other that through which he looks when he combines into new forms of loveliness those images of beauty which his own choice has gathered from all regions wherein he has travelled. Round the child’s head was an aureole of emanating30 rays. As I looked at him in wonder and delight, round crept from behind me the something dark, and the child stood in my shadow. Straightway he was a commonplace boy, with a rough broad-brimmed straw hat, through which brim the sun shone from behind. The toys he carried were a multiplying-glass and a kaleidoscope. I sighed and departed.
One evening, as a great silent flood of western gold flowed through an avenue in the woods, down the stream, just as when I saw him first, came the sad knight31, riding on his chestnut32 steed.
But his armour33 did not shine half so red as when I saw him first.
Many a blow of mighty34 sword and axe35, turned aside by the strength of his mail, and glancing adown the surface, had swept from its path the fretted36 rust37, and the glorious steel had answered the kindly38 blow with the thanks of returning light. These streaks39 and spots made his armour look like the floor of a forest in the sunlight. His forehead was higher than before, for the contracting wrinkles were nearly gone; and the sadness that remained on his face was the sadness of a dewy summer twilight40, not that of a frosty autumn morn. He, too, had met the Alder-maiden41 as I, but he had plunged42 into the torrent43 of mighty deeds, and the stain was nearly washed away. No shadow followed him. He had not entered the dark house; he had not had time to open the closet door. “Will he ever look in?” I said to myself. “MUST his shadow find him some day?” But I could not answer my own questions.
We travelled together for two days, and I began to love him. It was plain that he suspected my story in some degree; and I saw him once or twice looking curiously44 and anxiously at my attendant gloom, which all this time had remained very obsequiously45 behind me; but I offered no explanation, and he asked none. Shame at my neglect of his warning, and a horror which shrunk from even alluding46 to its cause, kept me silent; till, on the evening of the second day, some noble words from my companion roused all my heart; and I was at the point of falling on his neck, and telling him the whole story; seeking, if not for helpful advice, for of that I was hopeless, yet for the comfort of sympathy — when round slid the shadow and inwrapt my friend; and I could not trust him.
The glory of his brow vanished; the light of his eye grew cold; and I held my peace. The next morning we parted.
But the most dreadful thing of all was, that I now began to feel something like satisfaction in the presence of the shadow. I began to be rather vain of my attendant, saying to myself, “In a land like this, with so many illusions everywhere, I need his aid to disenchant the things around me. He does away with all appearances, and shows me things in their true colour and form. And I am not one to be fooled with the vanities of the common crowd. I will not see beauty where there is none. I will dare to behold29 things as they are. And if I live in a waste instead of a paradise, I will live knowing where I live.” But of this a certain exercise of his power which soon followed quite cured me, turning my feelings towards him once more into loathing47 and distrust. It was thus:
The maiden came along, singing and dancing, happy as a child
One bright noon, a little maiden joined me, coming through the wood in a direction at right angles to my path. She came along singing and dancing, happy as a child, though she seemed almost a woman. In her hands — now in one, now in another — she carried a small globe, bright and clear as the purest crystal. This seemed at once her plaything and her greatest treasure. At one moment, you would have thought her utterly48 careless of it, and at another, overwhelmed with anxiety for its safety. But I believe she was taking care of it all the time, perhaps not least when least occupied about it. She stopped by me with a smile, and bade me good day with the sweetest voice. I felt a wonderful liking49 to the child — for she produced on me more the impression of a child, though my understanding told me differently. We talked a little, and then walked on together in the direction I had been pursuing. I asked her about the globe she carried, but getting no definite answer, I held out my hand to take it. She drew back, and said, but smiling almost invitingly50 the while, “You must not touch it;"— then, after a moment’s pause —“Or if you do, it must be very gently.” I touched it with a finger. A slight vibratory motion arose in it, accompanied, or perhaps manifested, by a faint sweet sound. I touched it again, and the sound increased. I touched it the third time: a tiny torrent of harmony rolled out of the little globe. She would not let me touch it any more.
We travelled on together all that day. She left me when twilight came on; but next day, at noon, she met me as before, and again we travelled till evening. The third day she came once more at noon, and we walked on together. Now, though we had talked about a great many things connected with Fairy Land, and the life she had led hitherto, I had never been able to learn anything about the globe. This day, however, as we went on, the shadow glided51 round and inwrapt the maiden. It could not change her. But my desire to know about the globe, which in his gloom began to waver as with an inward light, and to shoot out flashes of many-coloured flame, grew irresistible. I put out both my hands and laid hold of it. It began to sound as before. The sound rapidly increased, till it grew a low tempest of harmony, and the globe trembled, and quivered, and throbbed52 between my hands. I had not the heart to pull it away from the maiden, though I held it in spite of her attempts to take it from me; yes, I shame to say, in spite of her prayers, and, at last, her tears. The music went on growing in, intensity53 and complication of tones, and the globe vibrated and heaved; till at last it burst in our hands, and a black vapour broke upwards54 from out of it; then turned, as if blown sideways, and enveloped55 the maiden, hiding even the shadow in its blackness. She held fast the fragments, which I abandoned, and fled from me into the forest in the direction whence she had come, wailing56 like a child, and crying, “You have broken my globe; my globe is broken — my globe is broken!” I followed her, in the hope of comforting her; but had not pursued her far, before a sudden cold gust57 of wind bowed the tree-tops above us, and swept through their stems around us; a great cloud overspread the day, and a fierce tempest came on, in which I lost sight of her. It lies heavy on my heart to this hour. At night, ere I fall asleep, often, whatever I may be thinking about, I suddenly hear her voice, crying out, “You have broken my globe; my globe is broken; ah, my globe!”
Here I will mention one more strange thing; but whether this peculiarity58 was owing to my shadow at all, I am not able to assure myself. I came to a village, the inhabitants of which could not at first sight be distinguished59 from the dwellers60 in our land. They rather avoided than sought my company, though they were very pleasant when I addressed them. But at last I observed, that whenever I came within a certain distance of any one of them, which distance, however, varied61 with different individuals, the whole appearance of the person began to change; and this change increased in degree as I approached. When I receded62 to the former distance, the former appearance was restored. The nature of the change was grotesque63, following no fixed64 rule. The nearest resemblance to it that I know, is the distortion produced in your countenance65 when you look at it as reflected in a concave or convex surface — say, either side of a bright spoon. Of this phenomenon I first became aware in rather a ludicrous way. My host’s daughter was a very pleasant pretty girl, who made herself more agreeable to me than most of those about me. For some days my companion-shadow had been less obtrusive66 than usual; and such was the reaction of spirits occasioned by the simple mitigation of torment67, that, although I had cause enough besides to be gloomy, I felt light and comparatively happy. My impression is, that she was quite aware of the law of appearances that existed between the people of the place and myself, and had resolved to amuse herself at my expense; for one evening, after some jesting and raillery, she, somehow or other, provoked me to attempt to kiss her. But she was well defended from any assault of the kind. Her countenance became, of a sudden, absurdly hideous68; the pretty mouth was elongated69 and otherwise amplified70 sufficiently71 to have allowed of six simultaneous kisses. I started back in bewildered dismay; she burst into the merriest fit of laughter, and ran from the room. I soon found that the same undefinable law of change operated between me and all the other villagers; and that, to feel I was in pleasant company, it was absolutely necessary for me to discover and observe the right focal distance between myself and each one with whom I had to do. This done, all went pleasantly enough. Whether, when I happened to neglect this precaution, I presented to them an equally ridiculous appearance, I did not ascertain72; but I presume that the alteration73 was common to the approximating parties. I was likewise unable to determine whether I was a necessary party to the production of this strange transformation74, or whether it took place as well, under the given circumstances, between the inhabitants themselves.
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1
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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2
luminous
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| adj.发光的，发亮的；光明的；明白易懂的；有启发的 | |
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3
enveloping
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| v.包围，笼罩，包住( envelop的现在分词 ) | |
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4
potent
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| adj.强有力的，有权势的；有效力的 | |
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5
consecutive
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| adj.连续的，联贯的，始终一贯的 | |
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6
delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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7
repose
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| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
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8
withered
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| adj. 枯萎的，干瘪的，（人身体的部分器官）因病萎缩的或未发育良好的 动词wither的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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9
scorched
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| 烧焦，烤焦( scorch的过去式和过去分词 )； 使（植物）枯萎，把…晒枯； 高速行驶； 枯焦 | |
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10
shuddered
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| v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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11
dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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12
irresistible
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| adj.非常诱人的，无法拒绝的，无法抗拒的 | |
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13
demon
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| n.魔鬼，恶魔 | |
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14
longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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15
intervals
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| n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息 | |
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16
backwards
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| adv.往回地，向原处，倒，相反，前后倒置地 | |
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17
grassy
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| adj.盖满草的；长满草的 | |
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18
prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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19
manifestation
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| n.表现形式；表明；现象 | |
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20
distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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21
coruscate
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| v.闪亮，闪光 | |
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22
lengthen
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| vt.使伸长，延长 | |
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23
lengthening
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| （时间或空间）延长，伸长( lengthen的现在分词 )； 加长 | |
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24
infinitely
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| adv.无限地，无穷地 | |
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25
smote
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| v.猛打，重击，打击( smite的过去式 ) | |
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26
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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27
wondrous
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| adj.令人惊奇的，奇妙的；adv.惊人地；异乎寻常地；令人惊叹地 | |
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28
beholds
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| v.看，注视( behold的第三人称单数 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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29
behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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30
emanating
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| v.从…处传出，传出( emanate的现在分词 )；产生，表现，显示 | |
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31
knight
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| n.骑士，武士；爵士 | |
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32
chestnut
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| n.栗树，栗子 | |
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33
armour
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| （=armor）n.盔甲；装甲部队 | |
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34
mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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35
axe
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| n.斧子；v.用斧头砍，削减 | |
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36
fretted
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| 焦躁的，附有弦马的，腐蚀的 | |
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37
rust
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| n.锈；v.生锈；(脑子)衰退 | |
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38
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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39
streaks
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| n.（与周围有所不同的）条纹( streak的名词复数 )；（通常指不好的）特征（倾向）；（不断经历成功或失败的）一段时期v.快速移动( streak的第三人称单数 )；使布满条纹 | |
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40
twilight
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| n.暮光，黄昏；暮年，晚期，衰落时期 | |
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41
maiden
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| n.少女，处女；adj.未婚的，纯洁的，无经验的 | |
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42
plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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43
torrent
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| n.激流，洪流；爆发，(话语等的)连发 | |
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44
curiously
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| adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地 | |
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45
obsequiously
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46
alluding
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| 提及，暗指( allude的现在分词 ) | |
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47
loathing
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| n.厌恶，憎恨v.憎恨，厌恶( loathe的现在分词)；极不喜欢 | |
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48
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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49
liking
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| n.爱好；嗜好；喜欢 | |
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50
invitingly
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| adv. 动人地 | |
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51
glided
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| v.滑动( glide的过去式和过去分词 )；掠过；（鸟或飞机 ） 滑翔 | |
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52
throbbed
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| 抽痛( throb的过去式和过去分词 )； （心脏、脉搏等）跳动 | |
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53
intensity
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| n.强烈，剧烈；强度；烈度 | |
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54
upwards
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| adv.向上，在更高处...以上 | |
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55
enveloped
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| v.包围，笼罩，包住( envelop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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56
wailing
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| v.哭叫，哀号( wail的现在分词 )；沱 | |
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57
gust
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| n.阵风，突然一阵（雨、烟等），（感情的）迸发 | |
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58
peculiarity
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| n.独特性，特色；特殊的东西；怪癖 | |
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59
distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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60
dwellers
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| n.居民，居住者( dweller的名词复数 ) | |
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61
varied
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| adj.多样的，多变化的 | |
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62
receded
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| v.逐渐远离( recede的过去式和过去分词 )；向后倾斜；自原处后退或避开别人的注视；尤指问题 | |
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63
grotesque
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| adj.怪诞的，丑陋的；n.怪诞的图案，怪人（物） | |
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64
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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65
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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66
obtrusive
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| adj.显眼的；冒失的 | |
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67
torment
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| n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠 | |
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68
hideous
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| adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的 | |
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69
elongated
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| v.延长，加长( elongate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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70
amplified
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| 放大，扩大( amplify的过去式和过去分词 )； 增强； 详述 | |
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71
sufficiently
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| adv.足够地，充分地 | |
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72
ascertain
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| vt.发现，确定，查明，弄清 | |
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73
alteration
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| n.变更，改变；蚀变 | |
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74
transformation
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| n.变化；改造；转变 | |
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