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Chapter 25
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“Our life is no dream; but it ought to become one, and perhaps will.”— NOVALIS.

“And on the ground, which is my modres gate,

I knocke with my staf; erlich and late,

And say to hire, Leve mother, let me in.”

CHAUCER, The Pardoneres Tale.

Sinking from such a state of ideal bliss1, into the world of shadows which again closed around and infolded me, my first dread2 was, not unnaturally3, that my own shadow had found me again, and that my torture had commenced anew. It was a sad revulsion of feeling. This, indeed, seemed to correspond to what we think death is, before we die. Yet I felt within me a power of calm endurance to which I had hitherto been a stranger. For, in truth, that I should be able if only to think such things as I had been thinking, was an unspeakable delight. An hour of such peace made the turmoil4 of a lifetime worth striving through.

I found myself lying in the open air, in the early morning, before sunrise. Over me rose the summer heaven, expectant of the sun. The clouds already saw him, coming from afar; and soon every dewdrop would rejoice in his individual presence within it.

I lay motionless for a few minutes; and then slowly rose and looked about me. I was on the summit of a little hill; a valley lay beneath, and a range of mountains closed up the view upon that side. But, to my horror, across the valley, and up the height of the opposing mountains, stretched, from my very feet, a hugely expanding shade. There it lay, long and large, dark and mighty5. I turned away with a sick despair; when lo! I beheld6 the sun just lifting his head above the eastern hill, and the shadow that fell from me, lay only where his beams fell not. I danced for joy. It was only the natural shadow, that goes with every man who walks in the sun. As he arose, higher and higher, the shadow-head sank down the side of the opposite hill, and crept in across the valley towards my feet.

A valley lay beneath me

Now that I was so joyously7 delivered from this fear, I saw and recognised the country around me. In the valley below, lay my own castle, and the haunts of my childhood were all about me hastened home. My sisters received me with unspeakable joy; but I suppose they observed some change in me, for a kind of respect, with a slight touch of awe8 in it, mingled9 with their joy, and made me ashamed. They had been in great distress10 about me. On the morning of my disappearance11, they had found the floor of my room flooded; and, all that day, a wondrous12 and nearly impervious13 mist had hung about the castle and grounds. I had been gone, they told me, twenty-one days. To me it seemed twenty-one years. Nor could I yet feel quite secure in my new experiences. When, at night, I lay down once more in my own bed, I did not feel at all sure that when I awoke, I should not find myself in some mysterious region of Fairy Land. My dreams were incessant14 and perturbed15; but when I did awake, I saw clearly that I was in my own home.

My mind soon grew calm; and I began the duties of my new position, somewhat instructed, I hoped, by the adventures that had befallen me in Fairy Land. Could I translate the experience of my travels there, into common life? This was the question. Or must I live it all over again, and learn it all over again, in the other forms that belong to the world of men, whose experience yet runs parallel to that of Fairy Land? These questions I cannot answer yet. But I fear.

Even yet, I find myself looking round sometimes with anxiety, to see whether my shadow falls right away from the sun or no. I have never yet discovered any inclination16 to either side. And if I am not unfrequently sad, I yet cast no more of a shade on the earth, than most men who have lived in it as long as I. I have a strange feeling sometimes, that I am a ghost, sent into the world to minister to my fellow men, or, rather, to repair the wrongs I have already done.

May the world be brighter for me, at least in those portions of it, where my darkness falls not.

Thus I, who set out to find my Ideal, came back rejoicing that I had lost my Shadow.

When the thought of the blessedness I experienced, after my death in Fairy Land, is too high for me to lay hold upon it and hope in it, I often think of the wise woman in the cottage, and of her solemn assurance that she knew something too good to be told. When I am oppressed by any sorrow or real perplexity, I often feel as if I had only left her cottage for a time, and would soon return out of the vision, into it again. Sometimes, on such occasions, I find myself, unconsciously almost, looking about for the mystic mark of red, with the vague hope of entering her door, and being comforted by her wise tenderness. I then console myself by saying: “I have come through the door of Dismay; and the way back from the world into which that has led me, is through my tomb. Upon that the red sign lies, and I shall find it one day, and be glad.”

I will end my story with the relation of an incident which befell me a few days ago. I had been with my reapers17, and, when they ceased their work at noon, I had lain down under the shadow of a great, ancient beech18-tree, that stood on the edge of the field. As I lay, with my eyes closed, I began to listen to the sound of the leaves overhead. At first, they made sweet inarticulate music alone; but, by-and-by, the sound seemed to begin to take shape, and to be gradually moulding itself into words; till, at last, I seemed able to distinguish these, half-dissolved in a little ocean of circumfluent tones: “A great good is coming — is coming — is coming to thee, Anodos;” and so over and over again. I fancied that the sound reminded me of the voice of the ancient woman, in the cottage that was four-square. I opened my eyes, and, for a moment, almost believed that I saw her face, with its many wrinkles and its young eyes, looking at me from between two hoary19 branches of the beech overhead. But when I looked more keenly, I saw only twigs20 and leaves, and the infinite sky, in tiny spots, gazing through between. Yet I know that good is coming to me — that good is always coming; though few have at all times the simplicity21 and the courage to believe it. What we call evil, is the only and best shape, which, for the person and his condition at the time, could be assumed by the best good. And so, FAREWELL.

The End

点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 bliss JtXz4     
n.狂喜,福佑,天赐的福
参考例句:
  • It's sheer bliss to be able to spend the day in bed.整天都可以躺在床上真是幸福。
  • He's in bliss that he's won the Nobel Prize.他非常高兴,因为获得了诺贝尔奖金。
2 dread Ekpz8     
vt.担忧,忧虑;惧怕,不敢;n.担忧,畏惧
参考例句:
  • We all dread to think what will happen if the company closes.我们都不敢去想一旦公司关门我们该怎么办。
  • Her heart was relieved of its blankest dread.她极度恐惧的心理消除了。
3 unnaturally 3ftzAP     
adv.违反习俗地;不自然地;勉强地;不近人情地
参考例句:
  • Her voice sounded unnaturally loud. 她的嗓音很响亮,但是有点反常。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Her eyes were unnaturally bright. 她的眼睛亮得不自然。 来自《简明英汉词典》
4 turmoil CKJzj     
n.骚乱,混乱,动乱
参考例句:
  • His mind was in such a turmoil that he couldn't get to sleep.内心的纷扰使他无法入睡。
  • The robbery put the village in a turmoil.抢劫使全村陷入混乱。
5 mighty YDWxl     
adj.强有力的;巨大的
参考例句:
  • A mighty force was about to break loose.一股巨大的力量即将迸发而出。
  • The mighty iceberg came into view.巨大的冰山出现在眼前。
6 beheld beheld     
v.看,注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 );瞧;看呀;(叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现)哎哟
参考例句:
  • His eyes had never beheld such opulence. 他从未见过这样的财富。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The soul beheld its features in the mirror of the passing moment. 灵魂在逝去的瞬间的镜子中看到了自己的模样。 来自英汉文学 - 红字
7 joyously 1p4zu0     
ad.快乐地, 高兴地
参考例句:
  • She opened the door for me and threw herself in my arms, screaming joyously and demanding that we decorate the tree immediately. 她打开门,直扑我的怀抱,欣喜地喊叫着要马上装饰圣诞树。
  • They came running, crying out joyously in trilling girlish voices. 她们边跑边喊,那少女的颤音好不欢快。 来自名作英译部分
8 awe WNqzC     
n.敬畏,惊惧;vt.使敬畏,使惊惧
参考例句:
  • The sight filled us with awe.这景色使我们大为惊叹。
  • The approaching tornado struck awe in our hearts.正在逼近的龙卷风使我们惊恐万分。
9 mingled fdf34efd22095ed7e00f43ccc823abdf     
混合,混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 ); 混进,与…交往[联系]
参考例句:
  • The sounds of laughter and singing mingled in the evening air. 笑声和歌声交织在夜空中。
  • The man and the woman mingled as everyone started to relax. 当大家开始放松的时候,这一男一女就开始交往了。
10 distress 3llzX     
n.苦恼,痛苦,不舒适;不幸;vt.使悲痛
参考例句:
  • Nothing could alleviate his distress.什么都不能减轻他的痛苦。
  • Please don't distress yourself.请你不要忧愁了。
11 disappearance ouEx5     
n.消失,消散,失踪
参考例句:
  • He was hard put to it to explain her disappearance.他难以说明她为什么不见了。
  • Her disappearance gave rise to the wildest rumours.她失踪一事引起了各种流言蜚语。
12 wondrous pfIyt     
adj.令人惊奇的,奇妙的;adv.惊人地;异乎寻常地;令人惊叹地
参考例句:
  • The internal structure of the Department is wondrous to behold.看一下国务院的内部结构是很有意思的。
  • We were driven across this wondrous vast land of lakes and forests.我们乘车穿越这片有着湖泊及森林的广袤而神奇的土地。
13 impervious 2ynyU     
adj.不能渗透的,不能穿过的,不易伤害的
参考例句:
  • He was completely impervious to criticism.他对批评毫不在乎。
  • This material is impervious to gases and liquids.气体和液体都透不过这种物质。
14 incessant WcizU     
adj.不停的,连续的
参考例句:
  • We have had incessant snowfall since yesterday afternoon.从昨天下午开始就持续不断地下雪。
  • She is tired of his incessant demands for affection.她厌倦了他对感情的不断索取。
15 perturbed 7lnzsL     
adj.烦燥不安的v.使(某人)烦恼,不安( perturb的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • I am deeply perturbed by the alarming way the situation developing. 我对形势令人忧虑的发展深感不安。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Mother was much perturbed by my illness. 母亲为我的病甚感烦恼不安。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
16 inclination Gkwyj     
n.倾斜;点头;弯腰;斜坡;倾度;倾向;爱好
参考例句:
  • She greeted us with a slight inclination of the head.她微微点头向我们致意。
  • I did not feel the slightest inclination to hurry.我没有丝毫着急的意思。
17 reapers f42d98bcb8be43d5d9bc4313044242f0     
n.收割者,收获者( reaper的名词复数 );收割机
参考例句:
  • Ripe white wheat reapers reap ripe white wheat right. 成熟的白色小麦收割者最懂得收获成熟的白色小麦。 来自互联网
  • A pair of reapers help fend off the attack. 几个收割者辅助攻击这些小狗。 来自互联网
18 beech uynzJF     
n.山毛榉;adj.山毛榉的
参考例句:
  • Autumn is the time to see the beech woods in all their glory.秋天是观赏山毛榉林的最佳时期。
  • Exasperated,he leaped the stream,and strode towards beech clump.他满腔恼怒,跳过小河,大踏步向毛榉林子走去。
19 hoary Jc5xt     
adj.古老的;鬓发斑白的
参考例句:
  • They discussed the hoary old problem.他们讨论老问题。
  • Without a word spoken,he hurried away,with his hoary head bending low.他什么也没说,低着白发苍苍的头,匆匆地走了。
20 twigs 17ff1ed5da672aa443a4f6befce8e2cb     
细枝,嫩枝( twig的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • Some birds build nests of twigs. 一些鸟用树枝筑巢。
  • Willow twigs are pliable. 柳条很软。
21 simplicity Vryyv     
n.简单,简易;朴素;直率,单纯
参考例句:
  • She dressed with elegant simplicity.她穿着朴素高雅。
  • The beauty of this plan is its simplicity.简明扼要是这个计划的一大特点。


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