I forced my eye to scrutinize12 this prospect13, I forced my mind to dwell on it for a time, and when I found that it communicated no pleasurable emotion to my heart — that it stirred in me none of the hopes a man ought to feel, when he sees laid before him the scene of his life’s career — I said to myself, “William, you are a rebel against circumstances; you are a fool, and know not what you want; you have chosen trade and you shall be a tradesman. Look!” I continued mentally —“Look at the sooty smoke in that hollow, and know that there is your post! There you cannot dream, you cannot speculate and theorize — there you shall out and work!”
Thus self-schooled, I returned to the house. My brother was in the breakfast-room. I met him collectedly — I could not meet him cheerfully; he was standing15 on the rug, his back to the fire — how much did I read in the expression of his eye as my glance encountered his, when I advanced to bid him good morning; how much that was contradictory16 to my nature! He said “Good morning” abruptly17 and nodded, and then he snatched, rather than took, a newspaper from the table, and began to read it with the air of a master who seizes a pretext18 to escape the bore of conversing19 with an underling. It was well I had taken a resolution to endure for a time, or his manner would have gone far to render insupportable the disgust I had just been endeavouring to subdue20. I looked at him: I measured his robust21 frame and powerful proportions; I saw my own reflection in the mirror over the mantel-piece; I amused myself with comparing the two pictures. In face I resembled him, though I was not so handsome; my features were less regular; I had a darker eye, and a broader brow — in form I was greatly inferior — thinner, slighter, not so tall. As an animal, Edward excelled me far; should he prove as paramount22 in mind as in person I must be a slave — for I must expect from him no lion-like generosity23 to one weaker than himself; his cold, avaricious24 eye, his stern, forbidding manner told me he would not spare. Had I then force of mind to cope with him? I did not know; I had never been tried.
Mrs. Crimsworth’s entrance diverted my thoughts for a moment. She looked well, dressed in white, her face and her attire25 shining in morning and bridal freshness. I addressed her with the degree of ease her last night’s careless gaiety seemed to warrant, but she replied with coolness and restraint: her husband had tutored her; she was not to be too familiar with his clerk.
As soon as breakfast was over Mr. Crimsworth intimated to me that they were bringing the gig round to the door, and that in five minutes he should expect me to be ready to go down with him to X——. I did not keep him waiting; we were soon dashing at a rapid rate along the road. The horse he drove was the same vicious animal about which Mrs. Crimsworth had expressed her fears the night before. Once or twice Jack26 seemed disposed to turn restive27, but a vigorous and determined28 application of the whip from the ruthless hand of his master soon compelled him to submission29, and Edward’s dilated30 nostril31 expressed his triumph in the result of the contest; he scarcely spoke32 to me during the whole of the brief drive, only opening his lips at intervals to damn his horse.
X—— was all stir and bustle33 when we entered it; we left the clean streets where there were dwelling-houses and shops, churches, and public buildings; we left all these, and turned down to a region of mills and warehouses34; thence we passed through two massive gates into a great paved yard, and we were in Bigben Close, and the mill was before us, vomiting35 soot14 from its long chimney, and quivering through its thick brick walls with the commotion36 of its iron bowels37. Workpeople were passing to and fro; a waggon38 was being laden39 with pieces. Mr. Crimsworth looked from side to side, and seemed at one glance to comprehend all that was going on; he alighted, and leaving his horse and gig to the care of a man who hastened to take the reins40 from his hand, he bid me follow him to the counting-house. We entered it; a very different place from the parlours of Crimsworth Hall — a place for business, with a bare, planked floor, a safe, two high desks and stools, and some chairs. A person was seated at one of the desks, who took off his square cap when Mr. Crimsworth entered, and in an instant was again absorbed in his occupation of writing or calculating — I know not which.
Mr, Crimsworth, having removed his mackintosh, sat down by the fire. I remained standing near the hearth41; he said presently —
“Steighton, you may leave the room; I have some business to transact42 with this gentleman. Come back when you hear the bell.”
The individual at the desk rose and departed, closing the door as he went out. Mr. Crimsworth stirred the fire, then folded his arms, and sat a moment thinking, his lips compressed, his brow knit. I had nothing to do but to watch him — how well his features were cut! what a handsome man he was! Whence, then, came that air of contraction43 — that narrow and hard aspect on his forehead, in all his lineaments?
Turning to me he began abruptly:-
“You are come down to —— shire to learn to be a tradesman?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Have you made up your mind on the point? Let me know that at once.”
“Yes.”
“Well, I am not bound to help you, but I have a place here vacant, if you are qualified44 for it. I will take you on trial. What can you do? Do you know anything besides that useless trash of college learning — Greek, Latin, and so forth45?”
“I have studied mathematics.”
“Stuff! I dare say you have.”
“I can read and write French and German.”
“Hum!” He reflected a moment, then opening a drawer in a desk near him took out a letter, and gave it to me.
“Can you read that?” he asked.
It was a German commercial letter; I translated it; I could not tell whether he was gratified or not — his countenance46 remained fixed47.
“It is well;” he-said, after a pause, “that you are acquainted with something useful, something that may enable you to earn your board and lodging48: since you know French and German, I will take you as second clerk to manage the foreign correspondence of the house. I shall give you a good salary — 90l. a year — and now,” he continued, raising his voice, “hear once for all what I have to say about our relationship, and all that sort of humbug49! I must have no nonsense on that point; it would never suit me. I shall excuse you nothing on the plea of being my brother; if I find you stupid, negligent50, dissipated, idle, or possessed51 of any faults detrimental52 to the interests of the house, I shall dismiss you as I would any other clerk. Ninety pounds a year are good wages, and I expect to have the full value of my money out of you; remember, too, that things are on a practical footing in my establishment — business-like habits, feelings, and ideas, suit me best. Do you understand?”
“Partly,” I replied. “I suppose you mean that I am to do my work for my wages; not to expect favour from you, and not to depend on you for any help but what I earn; that suits me exactly, and on these terms I will consent to be your clerk.”
I turned on my heel, and walked to the window; this time I did not consult his face to learn his opinion: what it was I do not know, nor did I then care. After a silence of some minutes he recommenced:—
“You perhaps expect to be accommodated with apartments at Crimsworth Hall, and to go and come with me in the gig. I wish you, however, to be aware that such an arrangement would be quite inconvenient53 to me. I like to have the seat in my gig at liberty for any gentleman whom for business reasons I may wish to take down to the hall for a night or so. You will seek out lodgings54 in X——.”
Quitting the window, I walked back to the hearth.
“Of course I shall seek out lodgings in X—— ” I answered. “It would not suit me either to lodge55 at Crimsworth Hall.”
My tone was quiet. I always speak quietly. Yet Mr. Crimsworth’s blue eye became incensed56; he took his revenge rather oddly. Turning to me he said bluntly —
“You are poor enough, I suppose; how do you expect to live till your quarter’s salary becomes due?”
“I shall get on,” said I.
“How do you expect to live?” he repeated in a louder voice.
“As I can, Mr. Crimsworth.”
“Get into debt at your peril57! that’s all,” he answered. “For aught I know you may have extravagant58 aristocratic habits: if you have, drop them; I tolerate nothing of the sort here, and I will never give you a shilling extra, whatever liabilities you may incur59 — mind that.”
“Yes, Mr. Crimsworth, you will find I have a good memory.”
I said no more. I did not think the time was come for much parley60. I had an instinctive61 feeling that it would be folly62 to let one’s temper effervesce63 often with such a man as Edward. I said to myself, “I will place my cup under this continual dropping; it shall stand there still and steady; when full, it will run over of itself — meantime patience. Two things are certain. I am capable of performing the work Mr. Crimsworth has set me; I can earn my wages conscientiously64, and those wages are sufficient to enable me to live. As to the fact of my brother assuming towards me the bearing of a proud, harsh master, the fault is his, not mine; and shall his injustice65, his bad feeling, turn me at once aside from the path I have chosen? No; at least, ere I deviate66, I will advance far enough to see whither my career tends. As yet I am only pressing in at the entrance — a strait gate enough; it ought to have a good terminus.” While I thus reasoned, Mr. Crimsworth rang a bell; his first clerk, the individual dismissed previously67 to our conference, re-entered.
“Mr. Steighton,” said he, “show Mr. William the letters from Voss, Brothers, and give him English copies of the answers; he will translate them.”
Mr. Steighton, a man of about thirty-five, with a face at once sly and heavy, hastened to execute this order; he laid the letters on the desk, and I was soon seated at it, and engaged in rendering68 the English answers into German. A sentiment of keen pleasure accompanied this first effort to earn my own living — a sentiment neither poisoned nor weakened by the presence of the taskmaster, who stood and watched me for some time as I wrote. I thought he was trying to read my character, but I felt as secure against his scrutiny69 as if I had had on a casque with the visor down-or rather I showed him my countenance with the confidence that one would show an unlearned man a letter written in Greek; he might see lines, and trace characters, but he could make nothing of them; my nature was not his nature, and its signs were to him like the words of an unknown tongue. Ere long he turned away abruptly, as if baffled, and left the counting-house; he returned to it but twice in the course of that day; each time he mixed and swallowed a glass of brandy-and-water, the materials for making which he extracted from a cupboard on one side of the fireplace; having glanced at my translations — he could read both French and German — he went out again in silence.
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1
mellow
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| adj.柔和的；熟透的；v.变柔和；(使)成熟 | |
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2
varied
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| adj.多样的，多变化的 | |
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gliding
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| v. 滑翔 adj. 滑动的 | |
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intervals
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| n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息 | |
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cylindrical
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| adj.圆筒形的 | |
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concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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7
mansions
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| n.宅第，公馆，大厦( mansion的名词复数 ) | |
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8
machinery
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| n.(总称)机械，机器；机构 | |
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banished
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| v.放逐，驱逐( banish的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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10
seclusion
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| n.隐遁，隔离 | |
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11
dense
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| a.密集的，稠密的，浓密的；密度大的 | |
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12
scrutinize
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| n.详细检查，细读 | |
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prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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soot
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| n.煤烟，烟尘；vt.熏以煤烟 | |
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15
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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16
contradictory
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| adj.反驳的，反对的，抗辩的；n.正反对，矛盾对立 | |
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17
abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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18
pretext
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| n.借口，托词 | |
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19
conversing
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| v.交谈，谈话( converse的现在分词 ) | |
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20
subdue
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| vt.制服，使顺从，征服；抑制，克制 | |
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21
robust
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| adj.强壮的，强健的，粗野的，需要体力的，浓的 | |
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22
paramount
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| a.最重要的，最高权力的 | |
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23
generosity
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| n.大度，慷慨，慷慨的行为 | |
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24
avaricious
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| adj.贪婪的，贪心的 | |
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25
attire
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| v.穿衣，装扮[同]array；n.衣着；盛装 | |
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26
jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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27
restive
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| adj.不安宁的，不安静的 | |
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28
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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29
submission
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| n.服从，投降；温顺，谦虚；提出 | |
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30
dilated
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| adj.加宽的，扩大的v.（使某物）扩大，膨胀，张大( dilate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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31
nostril
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| n.鼻孔 | |
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32
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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33
bustle
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| v.喧扰地忙乱，匆忙，奔忙；n.忙碌；喧闹 | |
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34
warehouses
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| 仓库，货栈( warehouse的名词复数 ) | |
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35
vomiting
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| 吐 | |
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36
commotion
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| n.骚动，动乱 | |
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37
bowels
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| n.肠，内脏，内部；肠( bowel的名词复数 )；内部，最深处 | |
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38
waggon
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| n.运货马车，运货车；敞篷车箱 | |
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39
laden
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| adj.装满了的；充满了的；负了重担的；苦恼的 | |
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40
reins
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| 感情，激情； 缰( rein的名词复数 )； 控制手段； 掌管； （成人带着幼儿走路以防其走失时用的）保护带 | |
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41
hearth
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| n.壁炉炉床，壁炉地面 | |
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42
transact
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| v.处理；做交易；谈判 | |
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43
contraction
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| n.缩略词，缩写式，害病 | |
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44
qualified
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| adj.合格的，有资格的，胜任的，有限制的 | |
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45
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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46
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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47
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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48
lodging
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| n.寄宿，住所；(大学生的)校外宿舍 | |
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49
humbug
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| n.花招，谎话，欺骗 | |
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50
negligent
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| adj.疏忽的；玩忽的；粗心大意的 | |
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51
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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52
detrimental
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| adj.损害的，造成伤害的 | |
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53
inconvenient
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| adj.不方便的，令人感到麻烦的 | |
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54
lodgings
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| n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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55
lodge
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| v.临时住宿，寄宿，寄存，容纳；n.传达室，小旅馆 | |
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56
incensed
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| 盛怒的 | |
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57
peril
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| n.(严重的)危险；危险的事物 | |
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58
extravagant
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| adj.奢侈的；过分的；(言行等)放肆的 | |
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59
incur
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| vt.招致，蒙受，遭遇 | |
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60
parley
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| n.谈判 | |
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61
instinctive
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| adj.(出于)本能的；直觉的；(出于)天性的 | |
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62
folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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63
effervesce
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| v.冒泡，热情洋溢 | |
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64
conscientiously
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| adv.凭良心地；认真地，负责尽职地；老老实实 | |
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65
injustice
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| n.非正义，不公正，不公平，侵犯（别人的）权利 | |
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66
deviate
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| v.(from)背离，偏离 | |
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67
previously
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| adv.以前，先前（地） | |
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68
rendering
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| n.表现，描写 | |
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69
scrutiny
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| n.详细检查，仔细观察 | |
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