“Monsieur,
“I found out what you had done the very morning after your visit to me; you might be sure I should dust the china, every day; and, as no one but you had been in my room for a week, and as fairy-money is not current in Brussels, I could not doubt who left the twenty francs on the chimney-piece. I thought I heard you stir the vase when I was stooping to look for your glove under the table, and I wondered you should imagine it had got into such a little cup. Now, monsieur, the money is not mine, and I shall not keep it; I will not send it in this note because it might be lost — besides, it is heavy; but I will restore it to you the first time I see you, and you must make no difficulties about taking it; because, in the first place, I am sure, monsieur, you can understand that one likes to pay one’s debts; that it is satisfactory to owe no man anything; and, in the second place, I can now very well afford to be honest, as I am provided with a situation. This last circumstance is, indeed, the reason of my writing to you, for it is pleasant to communicate good news; and, in these days, I have only my master to whom I can tell anything.
“A week ago, monsieur, I was sent for by a Mrs. Wharton, an English lady; her eldest1 daughter was going to be married, and some rich relation having made her a present of a veil and dress in costly2 old lace, as precious, they said, almost as jewels, but a little damaged by time, I was commissioned to put them in repair. I had to do it at the house; they gave me, besides, some embroidery3 to complete, and nearly a week elapsed before I had finished everything. While I worked, Miss Wharton often came into the room and sat with me, and so did Mrs. Wharton; they made me talk English; asked how I had learned to speak it so well; then they inquired what I knew besides — what books I had read; soon they seemed to make a sort of wonder of me, considering me no doubt as a learned grisette. One afternoon, Mrs. Wharton brought in a Parisian lady to test the accuracy of my knowledge of French; the result of it: was that, owing probably in a great degree to the mother’s and daughter’s good humour about the marriage, which inclined them to do beneficent deeds, and partly, I think, because they are naturally benevolent4 people, they decided5 that the wish I had expressed to do something more than mend lace was a very legitimate6 one; and the same day they took me in their carriage to Mrs. D.‘s, who is the directress of the first English school at Brussels. It seems she happened to be in want of a French lady to give lessons in geography, history, grammar, and composition, in the French language. Mrs. Wharton recommended me very warmly; and, as two of her younger daughters are pupils in the house, her patronage7 availed to get me the place. It was settled that I am to attend six hours daily (for, happily, it was not required that I should live in the house; I should have been sorry to leave my lodgings), and, for this, Mrs. D. will give me twelve hundred francs per annum.
“You see, therefore, monsieur, that I am now rich; richer almost than I ever hoped to be: I feel thankful for it, especially as my sight was beginning to be injured by constant working at fine lace; and I was getting, too, very weary of sitting up late at nights, and yet not being able to find time for reading or study. I began to fear that I should fall ill, and be unable to pay my way; this fear is now, in a great measure, removed; and, in truth, monsieur, I am very grateful to God for the relief; and I feel it necessary, almost, to speak of my happiness to some one who is kind-hearted enough to derive8 joy from seeing others joyful9. I could not, therefore, resist the temptation of writing to you; I argued with myself it is very pleasant for me to write, and it will not be exactly painful, though it may be tiresome10 to monsieur to read. Do not be too angry with my circumlocution11 and inelegancies of expression, and, believe me
“Your attached pupil,
“F. E. Henri.”
Having read this letter, I mused12 on its contents for a few moments — whether with sentiments pleasurable or otherwise I will hereafter note — and then took up the other. It was directed in a hand to me unknown — small, and rather neat; neither masculine nor exactly feminine; the seal bore a coat of arms, concerning which I could only decipher that it was not that of the Seacombe family, consequently the epistle could be from none of my almost forgotten, and certainly quite forgetting patrician13 relations. >From whom, then, was it? I removed the envelope; the note folded within ran as follows:-
“I have no doubt in the world that you are doing well in that greasy14 Flanders; living probably on the fat of the unctuous15 land; sitting like a black-haired, tawny-skinned, long-nosed Israelite by the flesh-pots of Egypt; or like a rascally16 son of Levi near the brass17 cauldrons of the sanctuary18, and every now and then plunging19 in a consecrated20 hook, and drawing out of the sea, of broth21 the fattest of heave-shoulders and the fleshiest of wave-breasts. I know this, because you never write to any one in England. Thankless dog that you are! I, by the sovereign efficacy of my recommendation, got you the place where you are now living in clover, and yet not a word of gratitude22, or even acknowledgment, have you ever offered in return; but I am coming to see you, and small conception can you, with your addled23 aristocratic brains, form of the sort of moral kicking I have, ready packed in my carpet-bag, destined24 to be presented to you immediately on my arrival.
“Meantime I know all about your affairs, and have just got information, by Brown’s last letter, that you are said to be on the point of forming an advantageous25 match with a pursy, little Belgian schoolmistress — a Mdlle. Zenobie, or some such name. Won’t I have a look at her when I come over! And this you may rely on: if she pleases my taste, or if I think it worth while in a pecuniary26 point of view, I’ll pounce27 on your prize and bear her away triumphant28 in spite of your teeth. Yet I don’t like dumpies either, and Brown says she is little and stout29 — the better fitted for a wiry, starved-looking chap like you. “Be on the look-out, for you know neither the day nor hour when your —— (I don’t wish to blaspheme, so I’ll leave a blank) — cometh.
“Yours truly,
“Hunsden yorke hunsden.”
“Humph!” said I; and ere I laid the letter down, I again glanced at the small, neat handwriting, not a bit like that of a mercantile man, nor, indeed, of any man except Hunsden himself. They talk of affinities30 between the autograph and the character: what affinity31 was there here? I recalled the writer’s peculiar32 face and certain traits I suspected, rather than knew, to appertain to his nature, and I answered, “A great deal.”
Hunsden, then, was coming to Brussels, and coming I knew not when; coming charged with the expectation of finding me on the summit of prosperity, about to be married, to step into a warm nest, to lie comfortably down by the side of a snug33, well-fed little mate.
“I wish him joy of the fidelity34 of the picture he has painted,” thought I. “What will he say when, instead of a pair of plump turtle doves, billing and cooing in a bower35 of roses, he finds a single lean cormorant36, standing37 mateless and shelterless on poverty’s bleak38 cliff? Oh, confound him! Let him come, and let him laugh at the contrast between rumour39 and fact. Were he the devil himself, instead of being merely very like him, I’d not condescend40 to get out of his way, or to forge a smile or a cheerful word wherewith to avert41 his sarcasm42.”
Then I recurred43 to the other letter: that struck a chord whose sound I could not deaden by thrusting my fingers into my ears, for it vibrated within; and though its swell44 might be exquisite45 music, its cadence46 was a groan47.
That Frances was relieved from the pressure of want, that the curse of excessive labour was taken off her, filled me with happiness; that her first thought in prosperity should be to augment48 her joy by sharing it with me, met and satisfied the wish of my heart. Two results of her letter were then pleasant, sweet as two draughts49 of nectar; but applying my lips for the third time to the cup, and they were excoriated50 as with vinegar and gall51.
Two persons whose desires are moderate may live well enough in Brussels on an income which would scarcely afford a respectable maintenance for one in London: and that, not because the necessaries of life are so much dearer in the latter capital, or taxes so much higher than in the former, but because the English surpass in folly52 all the nations on God’s earth, and are more abject53 slaves to custom, to opinion, to the desire to keep up a certain appearance, than the Italians are to priestcraft, the French to vain-glory, the Russians to their Czar, or the Germans to black beer. I have seen a degree of sense in the modest arrangement of one homely54 Belgian household, that might put to shame the elegance55, the superfluities, the luxuries, the strained refinements56 of a hundred genteel English mansions57. In Belgium, provided you can make money, you may save it; this is scarcely possible in England; ostentation58 there lavishes59 in a month what industry has earned in a year. More shame to all classes in that most bountiful and beggarly country for their servile following of Fashion; I could write a chapter or two on this subject, but must forbear, at least for the present. Had I retained my 60l. per annum I could, now that Frances was in possession of 50l., have gone straight to her this very evening, and spoken out the words which, repressed, kept fretting61 my heart with fever; our united income would, as we should have managed it, have sufficed well for our mutual62 support; since we lived in a country where economy was not confounded with meanness, where frugality63 in dress, food, and furniture, was not synonymous with vulgarity in these various points. But the placeless usher64, bare of resource, and unsupported by connections, must not think of this; such a sentiment as love, such a word as marriage, were misplaced in his heart, and on his lips. Now for the first time did I truly feel what it was to be poor; now did the sacrifice I had made in casting from me the means of living put on a new aspect; instead of a correct, just, honourable65 act, it seemed a deed at once light and fanatical; I took several turns in my room, under the goading66 influence of most poignant67 remorse68; I walked a quarter of an hour from the wall to the window; and at the window, self-reproach seemed to face me; at the wall, self-disdain: all at once out spoke60 Conscience:—
“Down, stupid tormenters!” cried she; “the man has done his duty; you shall not bait him thus by thoughts of what might have been; he relinquished69 a temporary and contingent70 good to avoid a permanent and certain evil he did well. Let him reflect now, and when your blinding dust and deafening71 hum subside72, he will discover a path.”
I sat down; I propped73 my forehead on both my hands; I thought and thought an hour-two hours; vainly. I seemed like one sealed in a subterranean74 vault75, who gazes at utter blackness; at blackness ensured by yard-thick stone walls around, and by piles of building above, expecting light to penetrate76 through granite77, and through cement firm as granite. But there are chinks, or there may be chinks, in the best adjusted masonry78; there was a chink in my cavernous cell; for, eventually, I saw, or seemed to see, a ray — pallid79, indeed, and cold, and doubtful, but still a ray, for it showed that narrow path which conscience had promised after two, three hours’ torturing research in brain and memory, I disinterred certain remains80 of circumstances, and conceived a hope that by putting them together an expedient81 might be framed, and a resource discovered. The circumstances were briefly82 these:—
Some three months ago M. Pelet had, on the occasion of his fete, given the boys a treat, which treat consisted in a party of pleasure to a certain place of public resort in the outskirts83 of Brussels, of which I do not at this moment remember the name, but near it were several of those lakelets called etangs; and there was one etang, larger than the rest, where on holidays people were accustomed to amuse themselves by rowing round it in little boats. The boys having eaten an unlimited84 quantity of “gaufres,” and drank several bottles of Louvain beer, amid the shades of a garden made and provided for such crams85, petitioned the director for leave to take a row on the etang. Half a dozen of the eldest succeeded in obtaining leave, and I was commissioned to accompany them as surveillant. Among the half dozen happened to be a certain Jean Baptiste Vandenhuten, a most ponderous86 young Flamand, not tall, but even now, at the early age of sixteen, possessing a breadth and depth of personal development truly national. It chanced that Jean was the first lad to step into the boat; he stumbled, rolled to one side, the boat revolted at his weight and capsized. Vandenhuten sank like lead, rose, sank again. My coat and waistcoat were off in an instant; I had not been brought up at Eton and boated and bathed and swam there ten long years for nothing; it was a natural and easy act for me to leap to the rescue. The lads and the boatmen yelled; they thought there would be two deaths by drowning instead of one; but as Jean rose the third time, I clutched him by one leg and the collar, and in three minutes more both he and I were safe landed. To speak heaven’s truth, my merit in the action was small indeed, for I had run no risk, and subsequently did not even catch cold from the wetting; but when M. and Madame Vandenhuten, of whom Jean Baptiste was the sole hope, came to hear of the exploit, they seemed to think I had evinced a bravery and devotion which no thanks could sufficiently87 repay. Madame, in particular, was “certain I must have dearly loved their sweet son, or I would not thus have hazarded my own life to save his.” Monsieur, an honest-looking, though phlegmatic88 man, said very little, but he would not suffer me to leave the room, till I had promised that in case I ever stood in need of help I would, by applying to him, give him a chance of discharging the obligation under which he affirmed I had laid him. These words, then, were my glimmer89 of light; it was here I found my sole outlet90; and in truth, though the cold light roused, it did not cheer me; nor did the outlet seem such as I should like to pass through. Right I had none to M. Vandenhuten’s good offices; it was not on the ground of merit I could apply to him; no, I must stand on that of necessity: I had no work; I wanted work; my best chance of obtaining it lay in securing his recommendation. This I knew could be had by asking for it; not to ask, because the request revolted my pride and contradicted my habits, would, I felt, be an indulgence of false and indolent fastidiousness. I might repent91 the omission92 all my life; I would not then be guilty of it.
That evening I went to M. Vandenhuten’s; but I had bent93 the bow and adjusted the shaft94 in vain; the string broke. I rang the bell at the great door (it was a large, handsome house in an expensive part of the town); a manservant opened; I asked for M. Vandenhuten; M. Vandenhuten and family were all out of town — gone to Ostend — did not know when they would be back. I left my card, and retraced95 my steps.
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1
eldest
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| adj.最年长的，最年老的 | |
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2
costly
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| adj.昂贵的，价值高的，豪华的 | |
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3
embroidery
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| n.绣花，刺绣；绣制品 | |
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4
benevolent
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| adj.仁慈的，乐善好施的 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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6
legitimate
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| adj.合法的，合理的，合乎逻辑的；v.使合法 | |
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patronage
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| n.赞助，支援，援助；光顾，捧场 | |
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derive
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| v.取得；导出；引申；来自；源自；出自 | |
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joyful
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| adj.欢乐的，令人欢欣的 | |
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tiresome
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| adj.令人疲劳的，令人厌倦的 | |
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circumlocution
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| n. 绕圈子的话，迂回累赘的陈述 | |
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mused
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| v.沉思，冥想( muse的过去式和过去分词 )；沉思自语说（某事） | |
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13
patrician
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| adj.贵族的，显贵的；n.贵族；有教养的人；罗马帝国的地方官 | |
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14
greasy
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| adj. 多脂的，油脂的 | |
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15
unctuous
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| adj.油腔滑调的，大胆的 | |
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rascally
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| adj. 无赖的，恶棍的 adv. 无赖地，卑鄙地 | |
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brass
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| n.黄铜；黄铜器，铜管乐器 | |
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sanctuary
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| n.圣所，圣堂，寺庙；禁猎区，保护区 | |
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plunging
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| adj.跳进的，突进的v.颠簸( plunge的现在分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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consecrated
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| adj.神圣的，被视为神圣的v.把…奉为神圣，给…祝圣( consecrate的过去式和过去分词 )；奉献 | |
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broth
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| n.原(汁)汤(鱼汤、肉汤、菜汤等) | |
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gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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addled
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| adj.（头脑）糊涂的，愚蠢的；（指蛋类）变坏v.使糊涂( addle的过去式和过去分词 )；使混乱；使腐臭；使变质 | |
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destined
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| adj.命中注定的；(for)以…为目的地的 | |
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advantageous
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| adj.有利的；有帮助的 | |
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pecuniary
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| adj.金钱的；金钱上的 | |
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pounce
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| n.猛扑；v.猛扑，突然袭击，欣然同意 | |
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triumphant
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| adj.胜利的，成功的；狂欢的，喜悦的 | |
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affinities
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| n.密切关系( affinity的名词复数 )；亲近；（生性）喜爱；类同 | |
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affinity
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| n.亲和力，密切关系 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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snug
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| adj.温暖舒适的，合身的，安全的；v.使整洁干净，舒适地依靠，紧贴；n.（英）酒吧里的私房 | |
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fidelity
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| n.忠诚，忠实；精确 | |
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bower
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| n.凉亭，树荫下凉快之处；闺房；v.荫蔽 | |
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cormorant
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| n.鸬鹚，贪婪的人 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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bleak
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| adj.(天气)阴冷的；凄凉的；暗淡的 | |
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rumour
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| n.谣言，谣传，传闻 | |
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condescend
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| v.俯就，屈尊；堕落，丢丑 | |
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41
avert
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| v.防止，避免；转移(目光、注意力等) | |
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sarcasm
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| n.讥讽，讽刺，嘲弄，反话 （adj.sarcastic） | |
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recurred
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| 再发生，复发( recur的过去式和过去分词 )； 治愈 | |
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44
swell
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| vi.膨胀，肿胀；增长，增强 | |
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45
exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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46
cadence
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| n.（说话声调的）抑扬顿挫 | |
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47
groan
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| vi./n.呻吟，抱怨；(发出)呻吟般的声音 | |
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48
augment
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| vt.(使)增大，增加，增长，扩张 | |
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49
draughts
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| n. <英>国际跳棋 | |
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50
excoriated
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| v.擦伤( excoriate的过去式和过去分词 )；擦破（皮肤）；剥（皮）；严厉指责 | |
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51
gall
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| v.使烦恼，使焦躁，难堪；n.磨难 | |
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52
folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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53
abject
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| adj.极可怜的，卑屈的 | |
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54
homely
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| adj.家常的，简朴的；不漂亮的 | |
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55
elegance
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| n.优雅；优美，雅致；精致，巧妙 | |
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56
refinements
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| n.（生活）风雅；精炼( refinement的名词复数 )；改良品；细微的改良；优雅或高贵的动作 | |
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mansions
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| n.宅第，公馆，大厦( mansion的名词复数 ) | |
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58
ostentation
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| n.夸耀，卖弄 | |
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lavishes
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| v.过分给予，滥施( lavish的第三人称单数 ) | |
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60
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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61
fretting
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| n. 微振磨损 adj. 烦躁的, 焦虑的 | |
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62
mutual
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| adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的 | |
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63
frugality
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| n.节约，节俭 | |
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64
usher
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| n.带位员，招待员；vt.引导，护送；vi.做招待，担任引座员 | |
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65
honourable
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| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
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goading
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| v.刺激( goad的现在分词 )；激励；（用尖棒）驱赶；驱使（或怂恿、刺激）某人 | |
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poignant
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| adj.令人痛苦的，辛酸的，惨痛的 | |
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remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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relinquished
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| 交出，让给( relinquish的过去式和过去分词 )； 放弃 | |
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contingent
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| adj.视条件而定的；n.一组，代表团，分遣队 | |
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deafening
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| adj. 振耳欲聋的, 极喧闹的 动词deafen的现在分词形式 | |
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72
subside
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| vi.平静，平息；下沉，塌陷，沉降 | |
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propped
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| 支撑，支持，维持( prop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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subterranean
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| adj.地下的，地表下的 | |
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vault
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| n.拱形圆顶，地窖，地下室 | |
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76
penetrate
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| v.透(渗)入；刺入，刺穿；洞察，了解 | |
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granite
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| adj.花岗岩，花岗石 | |
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78
masonry
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| n.砖土建筑；砖石 | |
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79
pallid
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| adj.苍白的，呆板的 | |
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remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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81
expedient
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| adj.有用的，有利的；n.紧急的办法，权宜之计 | |
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briefly
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| adv.简单地，简短地 | |
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outskirts
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| n.郊外，郊区 | |
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unlimited
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| adj.无限的，不受控制的，无条件的 | |
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85
crams
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| v.塞入( cram的第三人称单数 )；填塞；塞满；（为考试而）死记硬背功课 | |
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86
ponderous
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| adj.沉重的，笨重的，(文章)冗长的 | |
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sufficiently
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| adv.足够地，充分地 | |
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phlegmatic
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| adj.冷静的，冷淡的，冷漠的，无活力的 | |
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glimmer
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| v.发出闪烁的微光；n.微光，微弱的闪光 | |
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outlet
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| n.出口/路；销路；批发商店；通风口；发泄 | |
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repent
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| v.悔悟，悔改，忏悔，后悔 | |
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omission
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| n.省略，删节；遗漏或省略的事物，冗长 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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shaft
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| n.(工具的)柄，杆状物 | |
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retraced
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| v.折回( retrace的过去式和过去分词 )；回忆；回顾；追溯 | |
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