My life is so many, many times forfeit2 to the State that were my hideous3 secret to become known, even now, after all these years, within an hour infuriated crowds would gather at my gate and I should be torn limb from limb without the slightest hope of mercy or reprieve4.
I shall never be forgiven.
My crimes were too brutal5. I spared neither young nor old, and every deed of violence that could bring pain and horror it was fiendish joy to do.
I have before me now a blurred6, torn page of an old newspaper — all dim and ghostly in its faded ink. It has great, startling headlines, and all about me.
The fiend of the ages it calls me — the criminal of all time; a foul7 and dreadful maniac8 stalking through the city with his bloody10 hands uplifted against all mankind; a very prince of vileness12; a monster that out-Satans Satan in his crimes; and so on, and so on.
So many times I wonder if it can possibly be all true, and if it be, after all, nothing but the nightmare of some cruel and dreadful dream.
How well do I remember the very exact words in which the ‘Adelaide Evening Journal’ recorded the discovery of the first crime. I read and reread them so often that every line is seared for ever in my mind.
“Early this morning,” they run, “a terrible discovery was made on the park lands between North Adelaide and the bank of the Torrens River. Michael Dayman, a workman in the employ of Messrs. John Shearer13 and Sons, the well-known agricultural implement14 makers15 of Kilkenny, was passing along a lower road when he noticed under a clump16 of trees what he at first thought was the form of a sleeping man.
“Approaching the spot, however, he was horrified17 to find that the man was dead, and that his face was covered with blood. He saw the head had been terribly battered18 in. Dayman communicated at once with the Bowden police, and within an hour the body had been conveyed to the city mortuary. There it was almost immediately identified as that of Alderman Charles Bentley, who had been missing from his home since last evening.
“The dreadful news at once occasioned a tremendous sensation in the city, and the flags on all the public buildings were immediately placed at half-mast. It is certain that a terrible and ghastly murder has been committed, but it is too early as yet to hazard any guess as to the motive19 for the crime. Robbery, however, it was not, for nothing at all had been removed from the person of the dead man. His watch, his ring, and all his other valuables were quite intact. The police are naturally reticent20 about the matter, but it is understood that his wounds were of a terrible nature, and that death must have been almost instantaneous after the blows.
“The utmost sympathy is extended to the deceased’s relatives. The alderman was too well known to our readers for us to refer now to his public life and work. In our grief we can only say that not only has the city of Adelaide lost one of the most loyal and honored sons, but that the whole State of South Australia also, and the great Commonwealth21 itself, is poorer by his loss. It will be the sincere prayer of everyone that the vile11 and brutal murderer may be speedily brought to book.”
It was a terrible thing that I should kill that poor old man, and yet his death lay only at the very beginning of my path of crime. It was as nothing to what was to follow later. Week after week, horror upon horror was to gather on the city; fear was to hang over it like a dreadful cloud, and panic even was to seize the strongest as they went upon their ways.
Did I do all this?
Could it possibly be I who was the man? Could it, indeed, be I who, in those hot midsummer days, made great strong men afraid of their own shadows, and brought this nameless terror into all their lives; who made each lonely road at dusk a path of dread1 and of possible foul, awful crime; who filled ten thousand gentle breasts with horror, and who made the very faces of the children blanch22 and whiten when the night wind stirred among the trees?
Every day almost I tell myself it must be all a dream. I could never have done such wrongs.
I was always such a coward and such a law-abiding man. I have always had such horror of violence and have always been so meek23 and gentle in my ways.
No — no, it is all a mistake. I have been sick and ill, and all these thoughts came only to me in the tossing of some fevered sleep. I am harmless and innocent as other men are.
But alas24! often I take out that dreadful copy of the ‘Times of Adelaide.’ I have kept it through all these years at the bottom of my drawer. It is hidden there so that Lucy may never see it and be reminded of those days.
Oh! how it points the accusing finger at me in its stern and baleful way.
It tells so clearly how the grip of terror held the city then, and explains far better than could any words of mine to what a pitch of horror everything had come. Dated only just a fortnight after Alderman Bentley died, it is headed, “No Panic, Please.”
“This morning for the eighth time during the past fortnight and for the fourth day in succession,” it begins, “it is our distressing25 duty to record for our readers the happening of a new and dreadful crime. Last evening, about nine o’clock, Dr. Charles Smallwood, a popular and esteemed26 medical practitioner27 of Lower Unley, was foully28 done to death in the open public road, within a few yards of his home. With the manner of his death we have unhappily of late become only too familiar, but the reason for the brutal act is again as mysterious and as obscure as are the reasons for all the other crimes that have recently been perpetrated in our midst. As usual there was no attempt at robbery — no removal of anything from the person of the murdered man — no semblance29 of suspicion that he had enemies in any quarter, or that anyone had ever wished him ill. There is no suggestion of any of these things — nothing again but, as in all the other deaths, the sheer wanton lust30 of blood.
“What are we going to do?
“As a people it has been always our pride that in all circumstances we can keep our heads. Down all the life-story of our race we have been always stubborn and unflinching in adversity, and the greater our need the greater have been our courage and endurance. Surely we now in Adelaide have never needed these qualities more than we do today.
“With what are we faced? Let us be open and candid31 with ourselves. Our city is no longer secure to live in, and the shadow of a dreadful death hangs nightly on us all.
“Somewhere in our midst — somewhere unnoticed and unmarked among us — lurks32 a maniac of most horrible proclivities33, a man of terrible and diseased mind.
“We are, of course, in complete ignorance as to how it has come to happen, but, somehow, in some poor wretch34 the beautiful and complicated machinery35 of the mind has broken down, and in its fall has loosed amongst us a ravening36 and ferocious37 beast.
“Unhappily it is not with the ordinary type of madman that we probably have now to deal.
“Outwardly he may show no signs at all of his malady38, and our difficulty lies in the probability that he is not always mad. His mania9 may come on in paroxysms — perhaps only at night. By day, perhaps, he is a quiet and inoffensive member of the community. Maybe he works just like an ordinary man in some factory — some office, or some shop. Maybe he stops quietly at home, for we know nothing of his circumstances or conditions of life.
“At any rate, as long as daylight lasts so far his madness has left behind no trail. Then, perhaps, he is as sane40 as anyone in the State.
“But when night comes apparently41 an irresistible42 impulse seizes him. Every street and path and road becomes his hunting ground, and the chance of sudden death looms43 over everyone outside locked doors.
“With our knowledge of what has already occurred it is too much to hope that the last chapter of our trouble has been written, or, indeed, that we shall have no more dreadful happenings to record.
“How, then, shall we attempt to grapple with the evil, and what can we possibly learn to help us from a cool and calm consideration of the methods of these dreadful crimes?
“Let us briefly44 refer to them seriatim as they have occurred in the city and its suburbs.
“A fortnight ago yesterday, on Tuesday night, Alderman Bentley was killed on the park lands between North Adelaide and the bank of the Torrens River. (Shall we ever learn by what strange chance this dear old man became the first victim of these bloody crimes?) Two days later Police Constable45 Holthusen was killed almost on the same spot. Both had been bludgeoned with the same kind of heavy, blunt weapon.
“The day following, on Friday evening, Mrs. Hutton, a young and recently married woman, met her dreadful fate near South station, also, be it noted46, when crossing over the park lands. Again, one fierce, vicious blow with some blunt instrument, and the poor creature was left to die where she fell.
“On Saturday nothing happened, and nothing on Sunday either. It will be remembered, however, that heavy rain fell on both these evenings.
“On Monday again a blank day, but at 9.35 that night information was brought to Woodville Police Station that Rex Ferguson, a St. Peter’s boy, just over seventeen, had been chased by an unknown man for two hundred yards along the Port road. Young Ferguson is a cool, intelligent young fellow, and he describes his pursuer as a thin, medium-sized man without a hat. Unhappily, the night was dark, and he was unable to see the man’s face. The escape was apparently quite accidental, for it was only by chance that Ferguson turned round to find, as he says, a black figure rushing furiously down upon him. He does not remember hearing any footsteps. He took to his heels instantly, and, being a strong runner, providentially escaped. But this is significant — Ferguson said the man held him for quite a hundred yards. He heard him plainly close behind.
“To continue — the next night, on Tuesday, a week ago today, Walter Bevan, a porter from Kilkenny station, was killed just after bathing, on the sandhills at Grange. The same black tale — bludgeoned on the head with a blunt instrument. There were other bathers near him not fifty yards away, and he was discovered almost at once. But no sound, no cry had been heard — just the same usual silent, dreadful death.
“Thursday and Friday we had nothing to record, and we are sure our readers scanned our columns in thankful relief. Some of us, indeed, were sanguine47 that the measures taken by the authorities and the increased vigilance of us all were already bearing fruit.
“But, no — the bloody run of crime goes on, and the week-end has been one of sustained and continued horror.
“Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights, and last night, too, have all, one after another, had their awful deed to record.
“Old Mr. Perterson, of Toorak, was killed while asleep on his verandah on Friday.
“On Saturday night Mathew Crane, a tram conductor on duty, was struck on the head when actually not five yards away from his tram, just as he was altering the tram time-indicator at the terminus opposite Kensington Gardens. He died an hour later in the Adelaide Hospital.
“Sunday brought a double crime — the killing48 of Mr. and Mrs. Van Dene, in their own drawing-room in Medindie. It is very difficult to write calmly here. Those whose duty it was to visit the scene of the crime described it as being as terrible in its surroundings as anything the mind of anyone could conceive. For the first time the assassin had been interrupted in his ghastly work, and Mr. Van Dene had put up a gallant49 fight. But we cannot further harrow the feelings of our readers — the dreadful facts were detailed50 in our columns yesterday.
“Then last night — this last crime, the murder of Dr. Smallwood. We had hoped that the assassin was not uninjured by what happened on Sunday, or would at least have been disheartened for a time by the resistance he undoubtedly51 encountered. But, no — directly darkness fell last evening he returned to his bloody work, and once again a harmless and inoffensive member of the community has met with a dreadful death.
“Now there can be no hiding from ourselves that we are all living in very black and deadly peril52.
“Tonight — tomorrow night — or any night until the madman is laid low it may be the fate of any one of us to suffer sudden death. It is a dreadful thing to contemplate53, and we may well all feel in a state of nerves.
“But let us straight away apply the antidote54 and drill in forcibly to ourselves that there is not the slightest need for panic. In the end the community must inevitably55 prove stronger than the individual. Sooner or later, and probably much sooner than any of us think, the madman will be laid by the heels.
“It is well known everywhere that special measures are being taken for the trapping of the madman. As far as possible revolvers are being served out to responsible individuals, and police patrols have everywhere been doubled. It is an open secret, too, that bloodhounds are now on their way from Melbourne, and are expected to arrive in the city this morning. Indeed, we have received information that this afternoon the Chief Commissioner56 of Police is issuing placards broadcast warning everyone generally, in the event of another tragedy, not to crowd round but to stand clear of the body and give the dogs a chance.
“We can rest confident that the authorities are in every way alive to the needs of the situation, and it is up to us loyally and manfully to support them. How then can we help? In many ways. Firstly, each district must organise57 its own local Vigilance Society. Great credit is due in this respect to Mr. Peter Wacks, of Bowden, for being first in the field.
“On Saturday this gentleman was instrumental in forming the first Committee of Public Safety in his own district. Following upon an outdoor meeting at the station gates, at which we understand he made an impassioned and eloquent58 appeal for unity39, he at once got together a small band of local stalwarts, and by now has each road in his neighborhood under special and particular control. And this is what all other parts of Adelaide and its suburbs must do. Special constables59 must be enrolled60 everywhere — armlets must be given out, and truncheons must be provided. Public meetings must be called at once, and within three or four days at most a new and easy running machinery should be at the service of the regular police.
“A word now for our guidance as to the probable personality of the madman we are looking for. It was not for nothing that we referred above to the nauseating61 details of his crimes. A man cannot commit nine murders and leave behind nothing that cannot be deduced from the environment and methods of his savagery62.
“What do we gather from these cases then?
“He is certainly a young man — probably well under thirty; almost certainly, too, he is of a wiry and slight build, and undoubtedly he is an athlete.
“The testimony63 of young Ferguson in that respect is most important and the authorities have carefully been over the ground with him where he was chased. It is a good two hundred yards from where he points out he first saw the man running on him to where he had out-distanced him and was safe. As we remarked before, it is most significant that Ferguson was only just able to hold his own for the first half of the pursuit, and it proves conclusively65 that the man we are looking for is a first-class runner.
“Ferguson is one of the best sprinters in St. Peter’s School — if not, indeed, the very best. He can do the hundred yards in less than eleven seconds and in the intercollegiate sports last year he also swept the board in all the races up to the half-mile. So there can be no doubt whatever that the man who chased him is something of a runner, and good runners, as we all know, are nearly always built on the light side and are rarely of more than medium height.
“It fits in, too, with everything that his footsteps were noiseless. Probably he is wearing rubber soles, or at least his heels are of rubber, and he is very light on his feet.
“In general appearance he must be quite harmless and ordinary-looking, for it is a sinister66 fact that he has apparently been able to approach all his victims without exciting any suspicion or distrust.
“We have said he is probably of the wiry type, for fairly strong he certainly must be. The deadly blows with which he does his ghastly work are conclusive64 evidence that the man is no weakling.
“Now as to the weapon he is using. All the medical testimony goes to prove that it is a short bar of iron with a smooth round knob at the end. The bar is not more than twelve inches long at most, and it is probably a part of some piece of disused machinery. It cannot be more than twelve inches long, for he must be carrying it about under his coat or in one of his pockets. Detective–Inspector Miles distinctly warned us all at the inquest last Thursday to beware of any man who was not walking with his hands both free from his pockets.
“One word now in conclusion as to what may still be before us.
“Unhappily these crimes all show an upward and progressive tendency. The first one was probably unpremeditated or, at any rate, was not undertaken with the confidence of the later ones. Poor old Alderman Bentley was struck three times, and the first two were feeble blows. In all the other cases, except in that of Mr. Van Dene, one blow and one only was inflicted67. Indeed, it looks each time as if the madman had just waited and struck at his leisure — without any haste or indecision.
“Then, as to when he has committed his crimes. Here again we regretfully notice a progressive confidence and boldness in his actions. The first three murders were carried out on lonely park lands, in comparatively unfrequented spots. Then we have the attempt on the Port road, then the murder on the sands at Grange. Next he actually enters a private garden at Toorak and completes his ghastly work on a verandah. Then he kills on an open public road — a well frequented road, even at night — and kills, moreover, within a few yards and almost in the presence of another man whose nearness he must have realised. The next night he actually penetrates68 into a private house, and last night he again chances discovery by attacking in a main thoroughfare.
“We dwell on these things because, unhappily, we must henceforth be prepared for greater boldness still on the part of the maniac, and must realise that we are not even safe in our own homes unless behind closed and barred doors.
“Now for a few simple suggestions.
“People should not be foolhardy enough to sleep outdoors unless they have a good dog with them. No one should go out alone at night, and any promenader by himself after dark should be at once regarded with suspicion. Every house door should be locked after sunset and all families should provide themselves with a loud whistle. Any suspicious or unnatural69 conduct on the part of any individual should be at once reported to the police.
“We share with our readers the horror of the dreadful possibilities that lie over us, and we realise to the full the mental anguish70 of living under this reign71 of terror, but we must all be brave about it, and, we insist again, it can be only a matter of time, and perhaps very little time, before our anxieties will be over for ever and the normal condition of safe untroubled life will be resumed again in all respects.”
Oh, what a dreadful thing it is for me to read this now, and what a hateful memory it calls up of all those days. Why do I not tear it up? I cannot, for its very horror fascinates me, and it has become, like my own thoughts, part of myself.
But I don’t always think I was THE MAN. Sometimes I am at peace for a while, a very little while.
I kneel in chapel72 with my wife and boys. I hear the gentle voices mingling73 with my own, the music of the organ soothes74 me, and my thankful heart rejoices that my fears are baseless and imaginary and I am only a morbid75 dreamer after all.
And then — then I pass my hand upon my thigh76 and feel the callous77 where the bullet struck me and — I know it is all true — all true.
I fall violently to my prayers.
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1
dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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forfeit
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| vt.丧失；n.罚金，罚款，没收物 | |
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hideous
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| adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的 | |
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4
reprieve
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| n.暂缓执行（死刑）；v.缓期执行；给…带来缓解 | |
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brutal
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| adj.残忍的，野蛮的，不讲理的 | |
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6
blurred
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| v.（使）变模糊( blur的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）难以区分；模模糊糊；迷离 | |
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7
foul
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| adj.污秽的；邪恶的；v.弄脏；妨害；犯规；n.犯规 | |
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maniac
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| n.精神癫狂的人；疯子 | |
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mania
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| n.疯狂；躁狂症，狂热，癖好 | |
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bloody
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| adj.非常的的；流血的；残忍的；adv.很；vt.血染 | |
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vile
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| adj.卑鄙的，可耻的，邪恶的；坏透的 | |
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vileness
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| n.讨厌，卑劣 | |
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shearer
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| n.剪羊毛的人；剪切机 | |
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implement
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| n.(pl.)工具，器具；vt.实行，实施，执行 | |
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makers
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| n.制造者，制造商（maker的复数形式） | |
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clump
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| n.树丛，草丛；vi.用沉重的脚步行走 | |
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horrified
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| a.(表现出)恐惧的 | |
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battered
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| adj.磨损的；v.连续猛击；磨损 | |
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motive
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| n.动机，目的；adv.发动的，运动的 | |
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reticent
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| adj.沉默寡言的；言不如意的 | |
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commonwealth
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| n.共和国，联邦，共同体 | |
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blanch
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| v.漂白；使变白；使(植物)不见日光而变白 | |
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meek
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| adj.温顺的，逆来顺受的 | |
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alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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distressing
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| a.使人痛苦的 | |
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esteemed
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| adj.受人尊敬的v.尊敬( esteem的过去式和过去分词 )；敬重；认为；以为 | |
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practitioner
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| n.实践者，从事者；(医生或律师等)开业者 | |
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foully
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| ad.卑鄙地 | |
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semblance
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| n.外貌，外表 | |
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lust
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| n.性(淫)欲；渴(欲)望；vi.对…有强烈的欲望 | |
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candid
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| adj.公正的，正直的；坦率的 | |
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lurks
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| n.潜在，潜伏；（lurk的复数形式）vi.潜伏，埋伏（lurk的第三人称单数形式） | |
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proclivities
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| n.倾向，癖性( proclivity的名词复数 ) | |
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wretch
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| n.可怜的人，不幸的人；卑鄙的人 | |
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machinery
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| n.(总称)机械，机器；机构 | |
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ravening
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| a.贪婪而饥饿的 | |
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ferocious
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| adj.凶猛的，残暴的，极度的，十分强烈的 | |
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malady
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| n.病，疾病(通常做比喻) | |
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unity
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| n.团结，联合，统一；和睦，协调 | |
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sane
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| adj.心智健全的，神志清醒的，明智的，稳健的 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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42
irresistible
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| adj.非常诱人的，无法拒绝的，无法抗拒的 | |
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looms
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| n.织布机( loom的名词复数 )v.隐约出现，阴森地逼近( loom的第三人称单数 )；隐约出现，阴森地逼近 | |
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briefly
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| adv.简单地，简短地 | |
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constable
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| n.(英国)警察，警官 | |
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46
noted
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| adj.著名的，知名的 | |
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sanguine
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| adj.充满希望的，乐观的，血红色的 | |
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48
killing
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| n.巨额利润；突然赚大钱，发大财 | |
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49
gallant
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| adj.英勇的，豪侠的；(向女人)献殷勤的 | |
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detailed
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| adj.详细的，详尽的，极注意细节的，完全的 | |
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51
undoubtedly
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| adv.确实地，无疑地 | |
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52
peril
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| n.(严重的)危险；危险的事物 | |
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53
contemplate
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| vt.盘算，计议；周密考虑；注视，凝视 | |
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54
antidote
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| n.解毒药，解毒剂 | |
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55
inevitably
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| adv.不可避免地；必然发生地 | |
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commissioner
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| n.（政府厅、局、处等部门）专员，长官，委员 | |
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organise
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| vt.组织，安排，筹办 | |
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eloquent
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| adj.雄辩的，口才流利的；明白显示出的 | |
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constables
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| n.警察( constable的名词复数 ) | |
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enrolled
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| adj.入学登记了的v.[亦作enrol]( enroll的过去式和过去分词 )；登记，招收，使入伍（或入会、入学等），参加，成为成员；记入名册；卷起，包起 | |
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nauseating
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| adj.令人恶心的，使人厌恶的v.使恶心，作呕( nauseate的现在分词 ) | |
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savagery
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| n.野性 | |
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testimony
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| n.证词；见证，证明 | |
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conclusive
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| adj.最后的，结论的；确凿的，消除怀疑的 | |
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conclusively
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| adv.令人信服地，确凿地 | |
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sinister
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| adj.不吉利的，凶恶的，左边的 | |
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inflicted
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| 把…强加给，使承受，遭受( inflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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penetrates
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| v.穿过( penetrate的第三人称单数 )；刺入；了解；渗透 | |
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unnatural
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| adj.不自然的；反常的 | |
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anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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reign
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| n.统治时期，统治，支配，盛行；v.占优势 | |
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chapel
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| n.小教堂，殡仪馆 | |
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mingling
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| adj.混合的 | |
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soothes
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| v.安慰( soothe的第三人称单数 )；抚慰；使舒服；减轻痛苦 | |
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morbid
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| adj.病的；致病的；病态的；可怕的 | |
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thigh
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| n.大腿；股骨 | |
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callous
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| adj.无情的，冷淡的，硬结的，起老茧的 | |
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