Raymond Lully.
I AM come of a race noted1 for vigor2 of fancy and ardor3 of passion. Men have called me mad; but the question is not yet settled, whether madness is or is not the loftiest intelligence — whether much that is glorious — whether all that is profound — does not spring from disease of thought — from moods of mind exalted4 at the expense of the general intellect. They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. In their gray visions they obtain glimpses of eternity5, and thrill, in awakening6, to find that they have been upon the verge7 of the great secret. In snatches, they learn something of the wisdom which is of good, and more of the mere8 knowledge which is of evil. They penetrate9, however, rudderless or compassless into the vast ocean of the “light ineffable,” and again, like the adventures of the Nubian geographer10, “agressi sunt mare11 tenebrarum, quid in eo esset exploraturi.”
We will say, then, that I am mad. I grant, at least, that there are two distinct conditions of my mental existence — the condition of a lucid12 reason, not to be disputed, and belonging to the memory of events forming the first epoch13 of my life — and a condition of shadow and doubt, appertaining to the present, and to the recollection of what constitutes the second great era of my being. Therefore, what I shall tell of the earlier period, believe; and to what I may relate of the later time, give only such credit as may seem due, or doubt it altogether, or, if doubt it ye cannot, then play unto its riddle14 the Oedipus.
She whom I loved in youth, and of whom I now pen calmly and distinctly these remembrances, was the sole daughter of the only sister of my mother long departed. Eleonora was the name of my cousin. We had always dwelled together, beneath a tropical sun, in the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass. No unguided footstep ever came upon that vale; for it lay away up among a range of giant hills that hung beetling15 around about it, shutting out the sunlight from its sweetest recesses16. No path was trodden in its vicinity; and, to reach our happy home, there was need of putting back, with force, the foliage17 of many thousands of forest trees, and of crushing to death the glories of many millions of fragrant18 flowers. Thus it was that we lived all alone, knowing nothing of the world without the valley — I, and my cousin, and her mother.
From the dim regions beyond the mountains at the upper end of our encircled domain20, there crept out a narrow and deep river, brighter than all save the eyes of Eleonora; and, winding21 stealthily about in mazy courses, it passed away, at length, through a shadowy gorge22, among hills still dimmer than those whence it had issued. We called it the “River of Silence”; for there seemed to be a hushing influence in its flow. No murmur23 arose from its bed, and so gently it wandered along, that the pearly pebbles24 upon which we loved to gaze, far down within its bosom25, stirred not at all, but lay in a motionless content, each in its own old station, shining on gloriously forever.
The margin26 of the river, and of the many dazzling rivulets27 that glided28 through devious29 ways into its channel, as well as the spaces that extended from the margins30 away down into the depths of the streams until they reached the bed of pebbles at the bottom, — these spots, not less than the whole surface of the valley, from the river to the mountains that girdled it in, were carpeted all by a soft green grass, thick, short, perfectly31 even, and vanilla-perfumed, but so besprinkled throughout with the yellow buttercup, the white daisy, the purple violet, and the ruby-red asphodel, that its exceeding beauty spoke32 to our hearts in loud tones, of the love and of the glory of God.
And, here and there, in groves33 about this grass, like wildernesses34 of dreams, sprang up fantastic trees, whose tall slender stems stood not upright, but slanted35 gracefully36 toward the light that peered at noon-day into the centre of the valley. Their mark was speckled with the vivid alternate splendor37 of ebony and silver, and was smoother than all save the cheeks of Eleonora; so that, but for the brilliant green of the huge leaves that spread from their summits in long, tremulous lines, dallying38 with the Zephyrs39, one might have fancied them giant serpents of Syria doing homage40 to their sovereign the Sun.
Hand in hand about this valley, for fifteen years, roamed I with Eleonora before Love entered within our hearts. It was one evening at the close of the third lustrum of her life, and of the fourth of my own, that we sat, locked in each other’s embrace, beneath the serpent-like trees, and looked down within the water of the River of Silence at our images therein. We spoke no words during the rest of that sweet day, and our words even upon the morrow were tremulous and few. We had drawn41 the God Eros from that wave, and now we felt that he had enkindled within us the fiery42 souls of our forefathers43. The passions which had for centuries distinguished44 our race, came thronging45 with the fancies for which they had been equally noted, and together breathed a delirious46 bliss47 over the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass. A change fell upon all things. Strange, brilliant flowers, star-shaped, burn out upon the trees where no flowers had been known before. The tints48 of the green carpet deepened; and when, one by one, the white daisies shrank away, there sprang up in place of them, ten by ten of the ruby-red asphodel. And life arose in our paths; for the tall flamingo49, hitherto unseen, with all gay glowing birds, flaunted50 his scarlet51 plumage before us. The golden and silver fish haunted the river, out of the bosom of which issued, little by little, a murmur that swelled52, at length, into a lulling53 melody more divine than that of the harp54 of Aeolus-sweeter than all save the voice of Eleonora. And now, too, a voluminous cloud, which we had long watched in the regions of Hesper, floated out thence, all gorgeous in crimson55 and gold, and settling in peace above us, sank, day by day, lower and lower, until its edges rested upon the tops of the mountains, turning all their dimness into magnificence, and shutting us up, as if forever, within a magic prison-house of grandeur56 and of glory.
The loveliness of Eleonora was that of the Seraphim58; but she was a maiden59 artless and innocent as the brief life she had led among the flowers. No guile60 disguised the fervor61 of love which animated62 her heart, and she examined with me its inmost recesses as we walked together in the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass, and discoursed63 of the mighty64 changes which had lately taken place therein.
At length, having spoken one day, in tears, of the last sad change which must befall Humanity, she thenceforward dwelt only upon this one sorrowful theme, interweaving it into all our converse65, as, in the songs of the bard66 of Schiraz, the same images are found occurring, again and again, in every impressive variation of phrase.
She had seen that the finger of Death was upon her bosom — that, like the ephemeron, she had been made perfect in loveliness only to die; but the terrors of the grave to her lay solely67 in a consideration which she revealed to me, one evening at twilight68, by the banks of the River of Silence. She grieved to think that, having entombed her in the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass, I would quit forever its happy recesses, transferring the love which now was so passionately69 her own to some maiden of the outer and everyday world. And, then and there, I threw myself hurriedly at the feet of Eleonora, and offered up a vow71, to herself and to Heaven, that I would never bind72 myself in marriage to any daughter of Earth — that I would in no manner prove recreant73 to her dear memory, or to the memory of the devout74 affection with which she had blessed me. And I called the Mighty Ruler of the Universe to witness the pious75 solemnity of my vow. And the curse which I invoked76 of Him and of her, a saint in Helusion should I prove traitorous77 to that promise, involved a penalty the exceeding great horror of which will not permit me to make record of it here. And the bright eyes of Eleonora grew brighter at my words; and she sighed as if a deadly burthen had been taken from her breast; and she trembled and very bitterly wept; but she made acceptance of the vow, (for what was she but a child?) and it made easy to her the bed of her death. And she said to me, not many days afterward78, tranquilly79 dying, that, because of what I had done for the comfort of her spirit she would watch over me in that spirit when departed, and, if so it were permitted her return to me visibly in the watches of the night; but, if this thing were, indeed, beyond the power of the souls in Paradise, that she would, at least, give me frequent indications of her presence, sighing upon me in the evening winds, or filling the air which I breathed with perfume from the censers of the angels. And, with these words upon her lips, she yielded up her innocent life, putting an end to the first epoch of my own.
Thus far I have faithfully said. But as I pass the barrier in Times path, formed by the death of my beloved, and proceed with the second era of my existence, I feel that a shadow gathers over my brain, and I mistrust the perfect sanity80 of the record. But let me on. — Years dragged themselves along heavily, and still I dwelled within the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass; but a second change had come upon all things. The star-shaped flowers shrank into the stems of the trees, and appeared no more. The tints of the green carpet faded; and, one by one, the ruby-red asphodels withered81 away; and there sprang up, in place of them, ten by ten, dark, eye-like violets, that writhed82 uneasily and were ever encumbered83 with dew. And Life departed from our paths; for the tall flamingo flaunted no longer his scarlet plumage before us, but flew sadly from the vale into the hills, with all the gay glowing birds that had arrived in his company. And the golden and silver fish swam down through the gorge at the lower end of our domain and bedecked the sweet river never again. And the lulling melody that had been softer than the wind-harp of Aeolus, and more divine than all save the voice of Eleonora, it died little by little away, in murmurs84 growing lower and lower, until the stream returned, at length, utterly85, into the solemnity of its original silence. And then, lastly, the voluminous cloud uprose, and, abandoning the tops of the mountains to the dimness of old, fell back into the regions of Hesper, and took away all its manifold golden and gorgeous glories from the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass.
Yet the promises of Eleonora were not forgotten; for I heard the sounds of the swinging of the censers of the angels; and streams of a holy perfume floated ever and ever about the valley; and at lone19 hours, when my heart beat heavily, the winds that bathed my brow came unto me laden86 with soft sighs; and indistinct murmurs filled often the night air, and once — oh, but once only! I was awakened87 from a slumber88, like the slumber of death, by the pressing of spiritual lips upon my own.
But the void within my heart refused, even thus, to be filled. I longed for the love which had before filled it to overflowing89. At length the valley pained me through its memories of Eleonora, and I left it for ever for the vanities and the turbulent triumphs of the world.
I found myself within a strange city, where all things might have served to blot90 from recollection the sweet dreams I had dreamed so long in the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass. The pomps and pageantries of a stately court, and the mad clangor of arms, and the radiant loveliness of women, bewildered and intoxicated91 my brain. But as yet my soul had proved true to its vows92, and the indications of the presence of Eleonora were still given me in the silent hours of the night. Suddenly these manifestations93 they ceased, and the world grew dark before mine eyes, and I stood aghast at the burning thoughts which possessed94, at the terrible temptations which beset95 me; for there came from some far, far distant and unknown land, into the gay court of the king I served, a maiden to whose beauty my whole recreant heart yielded at once — at whose footstool I bowed down without a struggle, in the most ardent96, in the most abject97 worship of love. What, indeed, was my passion for the young girl of the valley in comparison with the fervor, and the delirium98, and the spirit-lifting ecstasy99 of adoration100 with which I poured out my whole soul in tears at the feet of the ethereal Ermengarde? — Oh, bright was the seraph57 Ermengarde! and in that knowledge I had room for none other. — Oh, divine was the angel Ermengarde! and as I looked down into the depths of her memorial eyes, I thought only of them — and of her.
I wedded101; — nor dreaded102 the curse I had invoked; and its bitterness was not visited upon me. And once — but once again in the silence of the night; there came through my lattice the soft sighs which had forsaken103 me; and they modelled themselves into familiar and sweet voice, saying:
“Sleep in peace! — for the Spirit of Love reigneth and ruleth, and, in taking to thy passionate70 heart her who is Ermengarde, thou art absolved104, for reasons which shall be made known to thee in Heaven, of thy vows unto Eleonora.”
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1
noted
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| adj.著名的，知名的 | |
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vigor
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| n.活力，精力，元气 | |
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ardor
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| n.热情，狂热 | |
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4
exalted
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| adj.(地位等)高的，崇高的；尊贵的，高尚的 | |
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5
eternity
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| n.不朽，来世；永恒，无穷 | |
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6
awakening
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| n.觉醒，醒悟 adj.觉醒中的；唤醒的 | |
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verge
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| n.边，边缘；v.接近，濒临 | |
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8
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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9
penetrate
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| v.透(渗)入；刺入，刺穿；洞察，了解 | |
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geographer
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| n.地理学者 | |
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mare
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| n.母马，母驴 | |
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lucid
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| adj.明白易懂的，清晰的，头脑清楚的 | |
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13
epoch
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| n.(新)时代；历元 | |
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riddle
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| n.谜，谜语，粗筛；vt.解谜，给…出谜，筛，检查，鉴定，非难，充满于；vi.出谜 | |
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beetling
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| adj.突出的，悬垂的v.快速移动( beetle的现在分词 ) | |
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recesses
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| n.壁凹( recess的名词复数 )；（工作或业务活动的）中止或暂停期间；学校的课间休息；某物内部的凹形空间v.把某物放在墙壁的凹处( recess的第三人称单数 )；将（墙）做成凹形，在（墙）上做壁龛；休息，休会，休庭 | |
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foliage
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| n.叶子，树叶，簇叶 | |
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fragrant
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| adj.芬香的，馥郁的，愉快的 | |
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lone
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| adj.孤寂的，单独的；唯一的 | |
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domain
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| n.(活动等)领域，范围；领地，势力范围 | |
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winding
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| n.绕，缠，绕组，线圈 | |
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gorge
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| n.咽喉，胃，暴食，山峡；v.塞饱，狼吞虎咽地吃 | |
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murmur
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| n.低语，低声的怨言；v.低语，低声而言 | |
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pebbles
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| [复数]鹅卵石； 沙砾； 卵石，小圆石( pebble的名词复数 ) | |
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bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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margin
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| n.页边空白；差额；余地，余裕；边，边缘 | |
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rivulets
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| n.小河，小溪( rivulet的名词复数 ) | |
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glided
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| v.滑动( glide的过去式和过去分词 )；掠过；（鸟或飞机 ） 滑翔 | |
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devious
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| adj.不坦率的，狡猾的；迂回的，曲折的 | |
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margins
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| 边( margin的名词复数 )； 利润； 页边空白； 差数 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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groves
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| 树丛，小树林( grove的名词复数 ) | |
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wildernesses
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| 荒野( wilderness的名词复数 )； 沙漠； （政治家）在野； 不再当政（或掌权） | |
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slanted
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| 有偏见的； 倾斜的 | |
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gracefully
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| ad.大大方方地；优美地 | |
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splendor
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| n.光彩；壮丽，华丽；显赫，辉煌 | |
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dallying
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| v.随随便便地对待( dally的现在分词 )；不很认真地考虑；浪费时间；调情 | |
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zephyrs
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| n.和风，微风( zephyr的名词复数 ) | |
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homage
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| n.尊敬，敬意，崇敬 | |
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41
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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fiery
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| adj.燃烧着的，火红的；暴躁的；激烈的 | |
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forefathers
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| n.祖先，先人；祖先，祖宗( forefather的名词复数 )；列祖列宗；前人 | |
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44
distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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45
thronging
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| v.成群，挤满( throng的现在分词 ) | |
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delirious
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| adj.不省人事的，神智昏迷的 | |
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bliss
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| n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福 | |
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48
tints
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| 色彩( tint的名词复数 )； 带白的颜色； （淡色）染发剂； 痕迹 | |
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49
flamingo
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| n.红鹳，火烈鸟 | |
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50
flaunted
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| v.炫耀，夸耀( flaunt的过去式和过去分词 )；有什么能耐就施展出来 | |
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scarlet
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| n.深红色，绯红色，红衣；adj.绯红色的 | |
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swelled
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| 增强( swell的过去式和过去分词 )； 肿胀； （使）凸出； 充满（激情） | |
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53
lulling
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| vt.使镇静，使安静（lull的现在分词形式） | |
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harp
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| n.竖琴；天琴座 | |
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crimson
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| n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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grandeur
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| n.伟大，崇高，宏伟，庄严，豪华 | |
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seraph
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| n.六翼天使 | |
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seraphim
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| n.六翼天使(seraph的复数)；六翼天使( seraph的名词复数 ) | |
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maiden
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| n.少女，处女；adj.未婚的，纯洁的，无经验的 | |
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guile
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| n.诈术 | |
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fervor
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| n.热诚；热心；炽热 | |
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animated
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| adj.生气勃勃的，活跃的，愉快的 | |
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discoursed
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| 演说（discourse的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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converse
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| vi.谈话，谈天，闲聊；adv.相反的，相反 | |
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bard
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| n.吟游诗人 | |
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solely
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| adv.仅仅，唯一地 | |
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twilight
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| n.暮光，黄昏；暮年，晚期，衰落时期 | |
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passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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70
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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71
vow
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| n.誓(言)，誓约；v.起誓，立誓 | |
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bind
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| vt.捆，包扎；装订；约束；使凝固；vi.变硬 | |
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recreant
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| n.懦夫；adj.胆怯的 | |
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74
devout
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| adj.虔诚的，虔敬的，衷心的 (n.devoutness) | |
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pious
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| adj.虔诚的；道貌岸然的 | |
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invoked
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| v.援引( invoke的过去式和过去分词 )；行使（权利等）；祈求救助；恳求 | |
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traitorous
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| adj. 叛国的, 不忠的, 背信弃义的 | |
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afterward
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| adv.后来；以后 | |
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tranquilly
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| adv. 宁静地 | |
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sanity
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| n.心智健全，神智正常，判断正确 | |
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withered
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| adj. 枯萎的，干瘪的，（人身体的部分器官）因病萎缩的或未发育良好的 动词wither的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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writhed
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| （因极度痛苦而）扭动或翻滚( writhe的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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encumbered
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| v.妨碍，阻碍，拖累( encumber的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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murmurs
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| n.低沉、连续而不清的声音( murmur的名词复数 )；低语声；怨言；嘀咕 | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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laden
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| adj.装满了的；充满了的；负了重担的；苦恼的 | |
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awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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slumber
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| n.睡眠，沉睡状态 | |
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overflowing
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| n. 溢出物,溢流 adj. 充沛的，充满的 动词overflow的现在分词形式 | |
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blot
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| vt.弄脏（用吸墨纸）吸干；n.污点，污渍 | |
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intoxicated
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| 喝醉的，极其兴奋的 | |
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vows
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| 誓言( vow的名词复数 )； 郑重宣布，许愿 | |
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manifestations
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| n.表示，显示（manifestation的复数形式） | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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beset
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| v.镶嵌；困扰，包围 | |
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ardent
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，强烈的，烈性的 | |
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abject
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| adj.极可怜的，卑屈的 | |
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delirium
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| n. 神智昏迷,说胡话;极度兴奋 | |
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ecstasy
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| n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷 | |
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adoration
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| n.爱慕，崇拜 | |
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101
wedded
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| adj.正式结婚的；渴望…的，执著于…的v.嫁，娶，（与…）结婚( wed的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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102
dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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103
Forsaken
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| adj. 被遗忘的, 被抛弃的 动词forsake的过去分词 | |
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absolved
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| 宣告…无罪，赦免…的罪行，宽恕…的罪行( absolve的过去式和过去分词 )； 不受责难，免除责任 [义务] ,开脱（罪责） | |
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