And the bright beams of Phoebus — why should this good old name be forgotten? — called up our Duke rather later than a monk6 at matins, in a less sublime7 disposition8 than that in which he had paced among the orange-trees of Dacre. His passion remained, but his poetry was gone. He was all confidence, and gaiety, and love, and panted for the moment when he could place his mother’s coronet on the only head that was worthy9 to share the proud fortunes of the house of Hauteville.
‘Luigi, I will rise. What is going on today?’ ‘The gentlemen are all out, your Grace.’
‘And the ladies?’
‘Are going to the Archery Ground, your Grace.’
‘Ah! she will be there, Luigi?’
‘Yes, your Grace.’
‘My robe, Luigi.’
‘Yes, your Grace.’
‘I forgot what I was going to say. Luigi!’
‘Yes, your Grace.’
‘Luigi, Luigi, Luigi,’ hummed the Duke, perfectly10 unconscious, and beating time with his brush. His valet stared, but more when his lord, with eyes fixed11 on the ground, fell into a soliloquy, not a word of which, most provokingly, was audible, except to my reader.
‘How beautiful she looked yesterday upon the keep when she tried to find Dacre! I never saw such eyes in my life! I must speak to Lawrence immediately. I think I must have her face painted in four positions, like that picture of Lady Alice Gordon by Sir Joshua. Her full face is sublime; and yet there is a piquancy12 in the profile, which I am not sure — and yet again, when her countenance13 is a little bent14 towards you, and her neck gently turned, I think that is, after all — but then when her eyes meet yours, full! oh! yes! yes! yes! That first look at Doncaster! It is impressed upon my brain like self-consciousness. I never can forget it. But then her smile! When she sang on Tuesday night! By Heavens!’ he exclaimed aloud, ‘life with such a creature is immortality15!’
About one o’clock the Duke descended16 into empty chambers18. Not a soul was to be seen. The birds had flown. He determined19 to go to the Archery Ground. He opened the door of the music-room.
He found Miss Dacre alone at a table, writing. She looked up, and his heart yielded as her eye met his.
‘You do not join the nymphs?’ asked the Duke.
‘I have lent my bow,’ she said, ‘to an able substitute.’
She resumed her task, which he perceived was copying music. He advanced, he seated himself at the table, and began playing with a pen. He gazed upon her, his soul thrilled with unwonted sensations, his frame shook with emotions which, for a moment, deprived him even of speech. At length he spoke20 in a low and tremulous tone:—
‘I fear I am disturbing you, Miss Dacre?’
‘By no means,’ she said, with a courteous21 air; and then, remembering she was a hostess, ‘Is there anything that you require?’
‘Much; more than I can hope. O Miss Dacre! suffer me to tell you how much I admire, how much I love you!’
She started, she stared at him with distended22 eyes, and her small mouth was open like a ring.
‘My Lord!’
‘Yes!’ he continued in a rapid and impassioned tone. ‘I at length find an opportunity of giving way to feelings which it has been long difficult for me to control. O beautiful being! tell me, tell me that I am blessed!’
‘My Lord! I— I am most honoured; pardon me if I say, most surprised.’
‘Yes! from the first moment that your ineffable23 loveliness rose on my vision my mind has fed upon your image. Our acquaintance has only realised, of your character, all that my imagination had preconceived, Such unrivalled beauty, such unspeakable grace, could only have been the companions of that exquisite24 taste and that charming delicacy25 which, even to witness, has added great felicity to my existence. Oh! tell me — tell me that they shall be for me something better than a transient spectacle. Condescend26 to share the fortune and the fate of one who only esteems27 his lot in life because it enables him to offer you a station not utterly28 unworthy of your transcendent excellence29!’
‘I have permitted your Grace to proceed too far. For your — for my own sake, I should sooner have interfered30, but, in truth, I was so astounded31 at your unexpected address that I have but just succeeded in recalling my scattered32 senses. Let me again express to you my acknowledgments for an honour which I feel is great; but permit me to regret that for your offer of your hand and fortune these acknowledgments are all I can return.’
‘Miss Dacre! am I then to wake to the misery33 of being rejected?’
‘A little week ago, Duke of St. James, we were strangers. It would be hard if it were in the power of either of us now to deliver the other to misery.’
‘You are offended, then, at the presumption34 which, on so slight an acquaintance, has aspired35 to your hand. It is indeed a high possession. I thought only of you, not of myself. Your perfections require no time for recognition. Perhaps my imperfections require time for indulgence. Let me then hope!’
‘You have misconceived my meaning, and I regret that a foolish phrase should occasion you the trouble of fresh solicitude37, and me the pain of renewed refusal. In a word, it is not in my power to accept your hand.’
He rose from the table, and stifled38 the groan39 which struggled in his throat. He paced up and down the room with an agitated40 step and a convulsed brow, which marked the contest of his passions. But he was not desperate. His heart was full of high resolves and mighty41 meanings, indefinite but great, He felt like some conqueror42, who, marking the battle going against him, proud in his infinite resources and invincible43 power, cannot credit the madness of a defeat. And the lady, she leant her head upon her delicate arm, and screened her countenance from his scrutiny44.
He advanced.
‘Miss Dacre! pardon this prolonged intrusion; forgive this renewed discourse45. But let me only hope that a more favoured rival is the cause of my despair, and I will thank you ——’
‘My Lord Duke,’ she said, looking up with a faint blush, but with a flashing eye, and in an audible and even energetic tone, ‘the question you ask is neither fair nor manly46; but, as you choose to press me, I will say that it requires no recollection of a third person to make me decline the honour which you intended me.’
‘Miss Dacre! you speak in anger, almost in bitterness. Believe me,’ he added, rather with an air of pique47, ‘had I imagined from your conduct towards me that I was an object of dislike, I would have spared you this inconvenience and myself this humiliation48.’
‘At Castle Dacre, my conduct to all its inmates49 is the same. The Duke of St. James, indeed, hath both hereditary51 and personal claims to be considered here as something better than a mere52 inmate50; but your Grace has elected to dissolve all connection with our house, and I am not desirous of assisting you in again forming any.’
‘Harsh words, Miss Dacre!’
‘Harsher truth, my Lord Duke,’ said Miss Dacre, rising from her seat, and twisting a pen with agitated energy. ‘You have prolonged this interview, not I. Let it end, for I am not skilful53 in veiling my mind; and I should regret, here at least, to express what I have hitherto succeeded in concealing54.’
‘It cannot end thus,’ said his Grace: ‘let me, at any rate, know the worst. You have, if not too much kindness, at least too much candour, to part sol’ ‘I am at a loss to understand,’ said Miss Dacre, ‘what other object our conversation can have for your Grace than to ascertain55 my feelings, which I have already declared more than once, upon a point which you have already more than once urged. If I have not been sufficiently56 explicit57 or sufficiently clear, let me tell you, sir, that nothing but the request of a parent whom I adore would have induced me even to speak to the person who had dared to treat him with contempt.’ ‘Miss Dacre!’
‘You are moved, or you affect to be moved. ’Tis well: if a word from a stranger can thus affect you, you may be better able to comprehend the feelings of that person whose affections you have so long outraged58; your equal in blood, Duke of St. James, your superior in all other respects.’
‘Beautiful being!’ said his Grace, advancing, falling on his knee, and seizing her hand. ‘Pardon, pardon, pardon! Like your admirable sire, forgive; cast into oblivion all remembrance of my fatal youth. Is not your anger, is not this moment, a bitter, an utter expiation59 for all my folly60, all my thoughtless, all my inexperienced folly; for it was no worse? On my knees, and in the face of Heaven, let me pray you to be mine. I have staked my happiness upon this venture. In your power is my fate. On you it depends whether I shall discharge my duty to society, to the country to which I owe so much, or whether I shall move in it without an aim, an object, or a hope. Think, think only of the sympathy of our dispositions61; the similarity of our tastes. Think, think only of the felicity that might be ours. Think of the universal good we might achieve! Is there anything that human reason could require that we could not command? any object which human mind could imagine that we could not obtain? And, as for myself, I swear that I will be the creature of your will. Nay62, nay! oaths are mockery, vows63 are idle! Is it possible to share existence with you, beloved girl! without watching for your every wish, without —’
‘My Lord Duke, this must end. You do not recommend yourself to me by this rhapsody. What do you know of me, that you should feel all this? I may be different from what you expected; that is all. Another week, and another woman may command a similar effusion. I do not believe you to be insincere. There would be more hope for you if you were. You act from impulse, and not from principle. This is your best excuse for your conduct to my father. It is one that I accept, but which will certainly ever prevent me from becoming your wife. Farewell!’ ‘Nay, nay! let us not part in enmity!’ ‘Enmity and friendship are strong words; words that are much abused. There is another, which must describe our feelings towards the majority of mankind, and mine towards you. Substitute for enmity indifference64.’
She quitted the room: he remained there for some minutes, leaning on the mantelpiece, and then rushed into the park. He hurried for some distance with the rapid and uncertain step which betokens65 a tumultuous and disordered mind. At length he found himself among the ruins of Dacre Abbey. The silence and solemnity of the scene made him conscious, by the contrast, of his own agitated existence; the desolation of the beautiful ruin accorded with his own crushed and beautiful hopes. He sat himself at the feet of the clustered columns, and, covering his face with his hands, he wept.
They were the first tears that he had shed since childhood, and they were agony. Men weep but once, but then their tears are blood. We think almost their hearts must crack a little, so heartless are they ever after. Enough of this.
It is bitter to leave our fathers hearth66 for the first time; bitter is the eve of our return, when a thousand fears rise in our haunted souls. Bitter are hope deferred67, and self-reproach, and power unrecognised. Bitter is poverty; bitterer still is debt. It is bitter to be neglected; it is more bitter to be misunderstood. It is bitter to lose an only child. It is bitter to look upon the land which once was ours. Bitter is a sister’s woe68, a brother’s scrape; bitter a mother’s tear, and bitterer still a father’s curse. Bitter are a briefless bag, a curate’s bread, a diploma that brings no fee. Bitter is half-pay!
It is bitter to muse69 on vanished youth; it is bitter to lose an election or a suit. Bitter are rage suppressed, vengeance70 unwreaked, and prize-money kept back. Bitter are a failing crop, a glutted71 market, and a shattering spec. Bitter are rents in arrear72 and tithes73 in kind. Bitter are salaries reduced and perquisites74 destroyed. Bitter is a tax, particularly if misapplied; a rate, particularly if embezzled75. Bitter is a trade too full, and bitterer still a trade that has worn out. Bitter is a bore!
It is bitter to lose one’s hair or teeth. It is bitter to find our annual charge exceed our income. It is bitter to hear of others’ fame when we are boys. It is bitter to resign the seals we fain would keep. It is bitter to hear the winds blow when we have ships at sea, or friends. Bitter are a broken friendship and a dying love. Bitter a woman scorned, a man betrayed!
Bitter is the secret woe which none can share. Bitter are a brutal76 husband and a faithless wife, a silly daughter and a sulky son. Bitter are a losing card, a losing horse. Bitter the public hiss77, the private sneer78. Bitter are old age without respect, manhood without wealth, youth without fame. Bitter is the east wind’s blast; bitter a stepdame’s kiss. It is bitter to mark the woe which we cannot relieve. It is bitter to die in a foreign land.
But bitterer far than this, than these, than all, is waking from our first delusion79! For then we first feel the nothingness of self; that hell of sanguine80 spirits. All is dreary81, blank, and cold. The sun of hope sets without a ray, and the dim night of dark despair shadows only phantoms82. The spirits that guard round us in our pride have gone. Fancy, weeping, flies. Imagination droops83 her glittering pinions84 and sinks into the earth. Courage has no heart, and love seems a traitor85. A busy demon86 whispers in our ear that all is vain and worthless, and we among the vainest of a worthless crew!
And so our young friend here now depreciated87 as much as he had before exaggerated his powers. There seemed not on the earth’s face a more forlorn, a more feeble, a less estimable wretch88 than himself, but just now a hero. O! what a fool, what a miserable89, contemptible90 fool was he! With what a light tongue and lighter91 heart had he spoken of this woman who despised, who spurned92 him! His face blushed, ay! burnt, at the remembrance of his reveries and his fond monologues93! the very recollection made him shudder94 with disgust. He looked up to see if any demon were jeering95 him among the ruins.
His heart was so crushed that hope could not find even one desolate96 chamber17 to smile in. His courage was so cowed that, far from indulging in the distant romance to which, under these circumstances, we sometimes fly, he only wondered at the absolute insanity97 which, for a moment, had permitted him to aspire36 to her possession. ‘Sympathy of dispositions! Similarity of tastes, forsooth! Why, we are different existences! Nature could never have made us for the same world or with the same clay! O consummate98 being! why, why did we meet? Why, why are my eyes at length unsealed? Why, why do I at length feel conscious of my utter worthlessness? O God! I am miserable!’ He arose and hastened to the house. He gave orders to Luigi and his people to follow him to Rosemount with all practicable speed, and having left a note for his host with the usual excuse, he mounted his horse, and in half an hour’s time, with a countenance like a stormy sea, was galloping99 through the park gates of Dacre.
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1
misty
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| adj.雾蒙蒙的，有雾的 | |
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lucid
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| adj.明白易懂的，清晰的，头脑清楚的 | |
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3
twilight
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| n.暮光，黄昏；暮年，晚期，衰落时期 | |
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pensive
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| a.沉思的,哀思的,忧沉的 | |
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aurora
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| n.极光 | |
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monk
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| n.和尚，僧侣，修道士 | |
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sublime
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| adj.崇高的，伟大的；极度的，不顾后果的 | |
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disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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piquancy
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| n.辛辣，辣味，痛快 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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immortality
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| n.不死，不朽 | |
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descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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chambers
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| n.房间( chamber的名词复数 )；（议会的）议院；卧室；会议厅 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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courteous
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| adj.彬彬有礼的，客气的 | |
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distended
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| v.（使）膨胀，肿胀( distend的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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ineffable
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| adj.无法表达的，不可言喻的 | |
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exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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condescend
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| v.俯就，屈尊；堕落，丢丑 | |
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esteems
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| n.尊敬，好评( esteem的名词复数 )v.尊敬( esteem的第三人称单数 )；敬重；认为；以为 | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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excellence
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| n.优秀，杰出，(pl.)优点，美德 | |
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interfered
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| v.干预( interfere的过去式和过去分词 )；调停；妨碍；干涉 | |
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astounded
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| v.使震惊(astound的过去式和过去分词)；愕然；愕；惊讶 | |
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scattered
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| adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的 | |
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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presumption
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| n.推测，可能性，冒昧，放肆，[法律]推定 | |
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aspired
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| v.渴望，追求( aspire的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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aspire
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| vi.(to，after)渴望，追求，有志于 | |
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solicitude
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| n.焦虑 | |
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stifled
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| （使）窒息， （使）窒闷( stifle的过去式和过去分词 )； 镇压，遏制； 堵 | |
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groan
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| vi./n.呻吟，抱怨；(发出)呻吟般的声音 | |
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agitated
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| adj.被鼓动的，不安的 | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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conqueror
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| n.征服者，胜利者 | |
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invincible
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| adj.不可征服的，难以制服的 | |
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scrutiny
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| n.详细检查，仔细观察 | |
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discourse
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| n.论文，演说；谈话；话语；vi.讲述，著述 | |
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46
manly
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| adj.有男子气概的；adv.男子般地，果断地 | |
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pique
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| v.伤害…的自尊心，使生气 n.不满，生气 | |
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humiliation
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| n.羞辱 | |
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inmates
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| n.囚犯( inmate的名词复数 ) | |
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inmate
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| n.被收容者；(房屋等的)居住人；住院人 | |
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hereditary
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| adj.遗传的，遗传性的，可继承的，世袭的 | |
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52
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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53
skilful
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| (=skillful)adj.灵巧的，熟练的 | |
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54
concealing
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，遮住( conceal的现在分词 ) | |
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ascertain
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| vt.发现，确定，查明，弄清 | |
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56
sufficiently
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| adv.足够地，充分地 | |
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explicit
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| adj.详述的，明确的；坦率的；显然的 | |
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58
outraged
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| a.震惊的，义愤填膺的 | |
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expiation
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| n.赎罪，补偿 | |
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folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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dispositions
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| 安排( disposition的名词复数 )； 倾向； （财产、金钱的）处置； 气质 | |
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nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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vows
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| 誓言( vow的名词复数 )； 郑重宣布，许愿 | |
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64
indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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betokens
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| v.预示，表示( betoken的第三人称单数 ) | |
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66
hearth
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| n.壁炉炉床，壁炉地面 | |
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67
deferred
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| adj.延期的，缓召的v.拖延，延缓，推迟( defer的过去式和过去分词 )；服从某人的意愿，遵从 | |
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68
woe
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| n.悲哀，苦痛，不幸，困难；int.用来表达悲伤或惊慌 | |
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69
muse
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| n.缪斯（希腊神话中的女神），创作灵感 | |
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70
vengeance
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| n.报复，报仇，复仇 | |
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71
glutted
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| v.吃得过多( glut的过去式和过去分词 )；（对胃口、欲望等）纵情满足；使厌腻；塞满 | |
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72
arrear
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| n.欠款 | |
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73
tithes
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| n.（宗教捐税）什一税，什一的教区税，小部分( tithe的名词复数 ) | |
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74
perquisites
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| n.（工资以外的）财务补贴( perquisite的名词复数 )；额外收入；（随职位而得到的）好处；利益 | |
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75
embezzled
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| v.贪污，盗用（公款）( embezzle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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76
brutal
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| adj.残忍的，野蛮的，不讲理的 | |
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77
hiss
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| v.发出嘶嘶声；发嘘声表示不满 | |
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sneer
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| v.轻蔑；嘲笑；n.嘲笑，讥讽的言语 | |
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79
delusion
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| n.谬见，欺骗，幻觉，迷惑 | |
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80
sanguine
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| adj.充满希望的，乐观的，血红色的 | |
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81
dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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82
phantoms
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| n.鬼怪，幽灵( phantom的名词复数 ) | |
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83
droops
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| 弯曲或下垂，发蔫( droop的名词复数 ) | |
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84
pinions
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| v.抓住[捆住]（双臂）( pinion的第三人称单数 ) | |
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85
traitor
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| n.叛徒，卖国贼 | |
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86
demon
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| n.魔鬼，恶魔 | |
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87
depreciated
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| v.贬值，跌价，减价( depreciate的过去式和过去分词 )；贬低，蔑视，轻视 | |
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88
wretch
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| n.可怜的人，不幸的人；卑鄙的人 | |
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89
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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90
contemptible
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| adj.可鄙的，可轻视的，卑劣的 | |
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91
lighter
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| n.打火机，点火器；驳船；v.用驳船运送；light的比较级 | |
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92
spurned
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| v.一脚踢开，拒绝接受( spurn的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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93
monologues
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| n.（戏剧）长篇独白( monologue的名词复数 )；滔滔不绝的讲话；独角戏 | |
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94
shudder
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| v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动 | |
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95
jeering
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| adj.嘲弄的，揶揄的v.嘲笑( jeer的现在分词 ) | |
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96
desolate
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| adj.荒凉的，荒芜的；孤独的，凄凉的；v.使荒芜，使孤寂 | |
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97
insanity
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| n.疯狂，精神错乱；极端的愚蠢，荒唐 | |
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98
consummate
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| adj.完美的；v.成婚；使完美 [反]baffle | |
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99
galloping
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| adj. 飞驰的, 急性的 动词gallop的现在分词形式 | |
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