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CHAPTER V. DEATH BETTER THAN LIFE.
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When Dr. Spenlove left Mrs. Turner she sat for some time in a state of dull lethargy. No tear came into her eyes, no sigh escaped from her bosom1. During the past few months she had exhausted2 the entire range of remorseful3 and despairing emotion. The only comfort she had received through all those dreary4 months sprang from the helpful sympathy of Dr. Spenlove; apart from, that she had never been buoyed5 up by a ray of light, had never been cheered by the hope of a brighter day. Her one prevailing6 thought was that she would be better dead than alive. She did not court death; she waited for it, and silently prayed that it would come soon. It was not from the strength of inward moral support that she had the courage to live on; it was simply that she had schooled herself into the belief that before or when her child was born death would release her from the horrors of life. Young as she was she so fostered this hope that it became a conviction, and she looked forward to the end with dull resignation. "If I live till my baby is born," she thought, "I pray that it may die with me."

Here was the case of a woman without the moral support which springs from faith in any kind of religion. In some few mortals such faith is intuitive, but in most instances it requires guidance and wise direction in childhood. Often it degenerates7 into bigotry8 and intolerance, and assumes the hateful narrow form of condemning9 to perdition all who do not subscribe10 to its own particular creed11. Pagans are as worthy12 of esteem13 as the bigots who arrogate14 to themselves the monopoly of heavenly rewards.

Mrs. Turner was neither pagan nor bigot; she was a nullity. Her religious convictions had not yet taken shape, and though, if she had been asked "Are you a Christian15?" she would have replied, "Oh yes, I am a Christian," she would have been unable to demonstrate in what way she was a Christian, or what she understood by the term. In this respect many thousands of human beings resemble her.

Faith is strength, mightier16 than the sword, mightier than the pen, mightier than all the world's store of gold and precious stones; and when this strength is displayed in the sweetness of resignation, and in submission17 to the Divine will which chastens human life with sorrow, its influence upon the passions is sustaining, and purifying, and sublime18. If Mrs. Turner had been blessed with faith which displayed itself in this direction, she would have been the happier for it, and hard as were her trials, she would to the last have looked forward with hope instead of despair.

The story related by Mr. Gordon to Dr. Spenlove was true in every particular. There was no distortion or exaggeration; he had done for Mrs. Turner and her father all that he said he had done. He had not mentioned the word "love" in connection with the woman he had asked to be his wife. She, on her part, had no such love for him as that which should bind19 a man and a woman in a life-long tie; she held him in respect and esteem--that was all. But she had accepted him, and had contemplated20 the future with satisfaction until, until----

Until a man crossed her path who wooed her in different fashion, and who lavished21 upon her flatteries and endearments22 which made her false to the promise she had given. For this man she had deserted23 the home which Mr. Gordon had provided for her, and had deserted it in such a fashion that she could never return to it, could never again be received in it, and this without a word of explanation to the man she had deceived. She was in her turn deceived, and she awoke from her dream to find herself a lost and abandoned woman. In horror she fled from him, and cast her lot among strangers, knowing full well that she would meet with unbearable24 contumely among those to whom she was known. Hot words had passed between her and her betrayer, and in her anger she had written letters to him which in the eyes of the law would have released him from any obligation it might otherwise have imposed upon him. He was well pleased with this, and he smiled as he put those letters in a place of safety--to be brought forward only in case she annoyed him. She did nothing of the kind; her scorn for him was so profound that she was content to release him unconditionally25. So she passed out of his life as he passed out of hers. Neither of these beings, the betrayed or the betrayer, reckoned with the future; neither of them gave a thought to the probability that the skeins of Fate, which to-day separated them as surely as if they had lived at opposite poles of the earth, might at some future time bring them together again, and that the pages of the book which they believed was closed for ever might be reopened for weal or woe26.

The child's moans aroused the mother from her lethargy. She had no milk to give the babe; nature's founts were dry, and she went from door to door in the house in which she lived to beg for food. She returned as she went, empty-handed, and the child continued to moan.

Dr. Spenlove, her only friend, had bidden her farewell. She had not a penny in her pocket; there was not a crust of bread in the cupboard, not an ounce of coal, not a stick of wood to kindle27 a fire. She was thinly clad, and she did not possess a single article upon which she could have obtained the smallest advance. She had taken the room furnished, but even if what it contained had been her property a broker28 would have given but a few shillings for everything in it.

The little hand instinctively29 wandered to the mother's wasted breast, and plucked at it imploringly30, ravenously31. The woman looked around in the last throes of an anguish32 too deep for expression, except in the appalling33 words to which she gave despairing utterance34.

"Come," she cried, "we will end it!"

Out into the cold streets she crept, unobserved. She shivered, and a pitiful smile crossed her lips.

"Hush35, hush!" she murmured to her babe. "It will soon be over. Better dead--better dead--for you and for me!"

She crept towards the sea, and hugged the wall when she heard approaching footsteps. She need not have feared; the night was too inclement36 for any but selfish consideration. The soft snow fell, and enwrapped her and her child in its pitiless shroud37. She paused by a lamp-post, and cast an upward look at the heavens, in which she could see the glimmering38 of the stars. Then she went on, and fretfully pressed her babe close to her breast, to stifle39 the feeble sobs40.

"Be still, be still!" she murmured. "There is no hope in life for either of us. Better dead--better dead!"

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1 bosom Lt9zW     
n.胸,胸部;胸怀;内心;adj.亲密的
参考例句:
  • She drew a little book from her bosom.她从怀里取出一本小册子。
  • A dark jealousy stirred in his bosom.他内心生出一阵恶毒的嫉妒。
2 exhausted 7taz4r     
adj.极其疲惫的,精疲力尽的
参考例句:
  • It was a long haul home and we arrived exhausted.搬运回家的这段路程特别长,到家时我们已筋疲力尽。
  • Jenny was exhausted by the hustle of city life.珍妮被城市生活的忙乱弄得筋疲力尽。
3 remorseful IBBzo     
adj.悔恨的
参考例句:
  • He represented to the court that the accused was very remorseful.他代被告向法庭陈情说被告十分懊悔。
  • The minister well knew--subtle,but remorseful hypocrite that he was!牧师深知这一切——他是一个多么难以捉摸又懊悔不迭的伪君子啊!
4 dreary sk1z6     
adj.令人沮丧的,沉闷的,单调乏味的
参考例句:
  • They live such dreary lives.他们的生活如此乏味。
  • She was tired of hearing the same dreary tale of drunkenness and violence.她听够了那些关于酗酒和暴力的乏味故事。
5 buoyed 7da50152a46b3edf3164b6a7f21be885     
v.使浮起( buoy的过去式和过去分词 );支持;为…设浮标;振奋…的精神
参考例句:
  • Buoyed by their win yesterday the team feel confident of further success. 在昨天胜利的鼓舞下,该队有信心再次获胜。
  • His encouragement buoyed her up during that difficult period. 他的鼓励使她在那段困难时期恢复了乐观的情绪。 来自《简明英汉词典》
6 prevailing E1ozF     
adj.盛行的;占优势的;主要的
参考例句:
  • She wears a fashionable hair style prevailing in the city.她的发型是这个城市流行的款式。
  • This reflects attitudes and values prevailing in society.这反映了社会上盛行的态度和价值观。
7 degenerates e7e247f12a6c9236725633bacc12185e     
衰退,堕落,退化( degenerate的第三人称单数 )
参考例句:
  • Liberty often degenerates into lawlessness. 自由常常变质为无法无天。
  • Her health degenerates rapidly. 她的健康状况迅速恶化。
8 bigotry Ethzl     
n.偏见,偏执,持偏见的行为[态度]等
参考例句:
  • She tried to dissociate herself from the bigotry in her past.她力图使自己摆脱她以前的偏见。
  • At least we can proceed in this matter without bigotry.目前这件事咱们至少可以毫无偏见地进行下去。
9 condemning 3c571b073a8d53beeff1e31a57d104c0     
v.(通常因道义上的原因而)谴责( condemn的现在分词 );宣判;宣布…不能使用;迫使…陷于不幸的境地
参考例句:
  • The government issued a statement condemning the killings. 政府发表声明谴责这些凶杀事件。
  • I concur with the speaker in condemning what has been done. 我同意发言者对所做的事加以谴责。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
10 subscribe 6Hozu     
vi.(to)订阅,订购;同意;vt.捐助,赞助
参考例句:
  • I heartily subscribe to that sentiment.我十分赞同那个观点。
  • The magazine is trying to get more readers to subscribe.该杂志正大力发展新订户。
11 creed uoxzL     
n.信条;信念,纲领
参考例句:
  • They offended against every article of his creed.他们触犯了他的每一条戒律。
  • Our creed has always been that business is business.我们的信条一直是公私分明。
12 worthy vftwB     
adj.(of)值得的,配得上的;有价值的
参考例句:
  • I did not esteem him to be worthy of trust.我认为他不值得信赖。
  • There occurred nothing that was worthy to be mentioned.没有值得一提的事发生。
13 esteem imhyZ     
n.尊敬,尊重;vt.尊重,敬重;把…看作
参考例句:
  • I did not esteem him to be worthy of trust.我认为他不值得信赖。
  • The veteran worker ranks high in public love and esteem.那位老工人深受大伙的爱戴。
14 arrogate 0N0yD     
v.冒称具有...权利,霸占
参考例句:
  • Don't arrogate evil motives to me.不要栽脏给我。
  • Do not arrogate wrong intentions to your friends.不要硬说你的朋友存心不良。
15 Christian KVByl     
adj.基督教徒的;n.基督教徒
参考例句:
  • They always addressed each other by their Christian name.他们总是以教名互相称呼。
  • His mother is a sincere Christian.他母亲是个虔诚的基督教徒。
16 mightier 76f7dc79cccb0a7cef821be61d0656df     
adj. 强有力的,强大的,巨大的 adv. 很,极其
参考例句:
  • But it ever rises up again, stronger, firmer, mightier. 但是,这种组织总是重新产生,并且一次比一次更强大,更坚固,更有力。 来自英汉非文学 - 共产党宣言
  • Do you believe that the pen is mightier than the sword? 你相信笔杆的威力大于武力吗?
17 submission lUVzr     
n.服从,投降;温顺,谦虚;提出
参考例句:
  • The defeated general showed his submission by giving up his sword.战败将军缴剑表示投降。
  • No enemy can frighten us into submission.任何敌人的恐吓都不能使我们屈服。
18 sublime xhVyW     
adj.崇高的,伟大的;极度的,不顾后果的
参考例句:
  • We should take some time to enjoy the sublime beauty of nature.我们应该花些时间去欣赏大自然的壮丽景象。
  • Olympic games play as an important arena to exhibit the sublime idea.奥运会,就是展示此崇高理念的重要舞台。
19 bind Vt8zi     
vt.捆,包扎;装订;约束;使凝固;vi.变硬
参考例句:
  • I will let the waiter bind up the parcel for you.我让服务生帮你把包裹包起来。
  • He wants a shirt that does not bind him.他要一件不使他觉得过紧的衬衫。
20 contemplated d22c67116b8d5696b30f6705862b0688     
adj. 预期的 动词contemplate的过去分词形式
参考例句:
  • The doctor contemplated the difficult operation he had to perform. 医生仔细地考虑他所要做的棘手的手术。
  • The government has contemplated reforming the entire tax system. 政府打算改革整个税收体制。
21 lavished 7f4bc01b9202629a8b4f2f96ba3c61a8     
v.过分给予,滥施( lavish的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • I lavished all the warmth of my pent-up passion. 我把憋在心里那一股热烈的情感尽量地倾吐出来。 来自辞典例句
  • An enormous amount of attention has been lavished on these problems. 在这些问题上,我们已经花费了大量的注意力。 来自辞典例句
22 endearments 0da46daa9aca7d0f1ca78fd7aa5e546f     
n.表示爱慕的话语,亲热的表示( endearment的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • They were whispering endearments to each other. 他们彼此低声倾吐着爱慕之情。
  • He held me close to him, murmuring endearments. 他抱紧了我,喃喃述说着爱意。 来自辞典例句
23 deserted GukzoL     
adj.荒芜的,荒废的,无人的,被遗弃的
参考例句:
  • The deserted village was filled with a deathly silence.这个荒废的村庄死一般的寂静。
  • The enemy chieftain was opposed and deserted by his followers.敌人头目众叛亲离。
24 unbearable alCwB     
adj.不能容忍的;忍受不住的
参考例句:
  • It is unbearable to be always on thorns.老是处于焦虑不安的情况中是受不了的。
  • The more he thought of it the more unbearable it became.他越想越觉得无法忍受。
25 unconditionally CfHzbp     
adv.无条件地
参考例句:
  • All foreign troops must be withdrawn immediately and unconditionally. 所有外国军队必须立即无条件地撤出。
  • It makes things very awkward to have your girls going back unconditionally just now! 你们现在是无条件上工,真糟糕! 来自子夜部分
26 woe OfGyu     
n.悲哀,苦痛,不幸,困难;int.用来表达悲伤或惊慌
参考例句:
  • Our two peoples are brothers sharing weal and woe.我们两国人民是患难与共的兄弟。
  • A man is well or woe as he thinks himself so.自认祸是祸,自认福是福。
27 kindle n2Gxu     
v.点燃,着火
参考例句:
  • This wood is too wet to kindle.这木柴太湿点不着。
  • A small spark was enough to kindle Lily's imagination.一星光花足以点燃莉丽的全部想象力。
28 broker ESjyi     
n.中间人,经纪人;v.作为中间人来安排
参考例句:
  • He baited the broker by promises of higher commissions.他答应给更高的佣金来引诱那位经纪人。
  • I'm a real estate broker.我是不动产经纪人。
29 instinctively 2qezD2     
adv.本能地
参考例句:
  • As he leaned towards her she instinctively recoiled. 他向她靠近,她本能地往后缩。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • He knew instinctively where he would find her. 他本能地知道在哪儿能找到她。 来自《简明英汉词典》
30 imploringly imploringly     
adv. 恳求地, 哀求地
参考例句:
  • He moved his lips and looked at her imploringly. 他嘴唇动着,哀求地看着她。
  • He broke in imploringly. 他用恳求的口吻插了话。
31 ravenously 6c615cc583b62b6da4fb7e09dbd37210     
adv.大嚼地,饥饿地
参考例句:
  • We were all ravenously hungry after the walk. 我们散步之后都饿得要命。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The boys dug in ravenously. 男孩们开始狼吞虎咽地吃起来。 来自《简明英汉词典》
32 anguish awZz0     
n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦,烦恼
参考例句:
  • She cried out for anguish at parting.分手时,她由于痛苦而失声大哭。
  • The unspeakable anguish wrung his heart.难言的痛苦折磨着他的心。
33 appalling iNwz9     
adj.骇人听闻的,令人震惊的,可怕的
参考例句:
  • The search was hampered by appalling weather conditions.恶劣的天气妨碍了搜寻工作。
  • Nothing can extenuate such appalling behaviour.这种骇人听闻的行径罪无可恕。
34 utterance dKczL     
n.用言语表达,话语,言语
参考例句:
  • This utterance of his was greeted with bursts of uproarious laughter.他的讲话引起阵阵哄然大笑。
  • My voice cleaves to my throat,and sob chokes my utterance.我的噪子哽咽,泣不成声。
35 hush ecMzv     
int.嘘,别出声;n.沉默,静寂;v.使安静
参考例句:
  • A hush fell over the onlookers.旁观者们突然静了下来。
  • Do hush up the scandal!不要把这丑事声张出去!
36 inclement 59PxV     
adj.严酷的,严厉的,恶劣的
参考例句:
  • The inclement weather brought forth a host of diseases.恶劣的天气引起了种种疾病。
  • They kept on going,even through the inclement weather.即使天气恶劣,他们还是执意要去。
37 shroud OEMya     
n.裹尸布,寿衣;罩,幕;vt.覆盖,隐藏
参考例句:
  • His past was enveloped in a shroud of mystery.他的过去被裹上一层神秘色彩。
  • How can I do under shroud of a dark sky?在黑暗的天空的笼罩下,我该怎么做呢?
38 glimmering 7f887db7600ddd9ce546ca918a89536a     
n.微光,隐约的一瞥adj.薄弱地发光的v.发闪光,发微光( glimmer的现在分词 )
参考例句:
  • I got some glimmering of what he was driving at. 他这么说是什么意思,我有点明白了。 来自辞典例句
  • Now that darkness was falling, only their silhouettes were outlined against the faintly glimmering sky. 这时节两山只剩余一抹深黑,赖天空微明为画出一个轮廓。 来自汉英文学 - 散文英译
39 stifle cF4y5     
vt.使窒息;闷死;扼杀;抑止,阻止
参考例句:
  • She tried hard to stifle her laughter.她强忍住笑。
  • It was an uninteresting conversation and I had to stifle a yawn.那是一次枯燥无味的交谈,我不得不强忍住自己的呵欠。
40 sobs d4349f86cad43cb1a5579b1ef269d0cb     
啜泣(声),呜咽(声)( sob的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • She was struggling to suppress her sobs. 她拼命不让自己哭出来。
  • She burst into a convulsive sobs. 她突然抽泣起来。


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