Here was the case of a woman without the moral support which springs from faith in any kind of religion. In some few mortals such faith is intuitive, but in most instances it requires guidance and wise direction in childhood. Often it degenerates7 into bigotry8 and intolerance, and assumes the hateful narrow form of condemning9 to perdition all who do not subscribe10 to its own particular creed11. Pagans are as worthy12 of esteem13 as the bigots who arrogate14 to themselves the monopoly of heavenly rewards.
Mrs. Turner was neither pagan nor bigot; she was a nullity. Her religious convictions had not yet taken shape, and though, if she had been asked "Are you a Christian15?" she would have replied, "Oh yes, I am a Christian," she would have been unable to demonstrate in what way she was a Christian, or what she understood by the term. In this respect many thousands of human beings resemble her.
Faith is strength, mightier16 than the sword, mightier than the pen, mightier than all the world's store of gold and precious stones; and when this strength is displayed in the sweetness of resignation, and in submission17 to the Divine will which chastens human life with sorrow, its influence upon the passions is sustaining, and purifying, and sublime18. If Mrs. Turner had been blessed with faith which displayed itself in this direction, she would have been the happier for it, and hard as were her trials, she would to the last have looked forward with hope instead of despair.
The story related by Mr. Gordon to Dr. Spenlove was true in every particular. There was no distortion or exaggeration; he had done for Mrs. Turner and her father all that he said he had done. He had not mentioned the word "love" in connection with the woman he had asked to be his wife. She, on her part, had no such love for him as that which should bind19 a man and a woman in a life-long tie; she held him in respect and esteem--that was all. But she had accepted him, and had contemplated20 the future with satisfaction until, until----
Until a man crossed her path who wooed her in different fashion, and who lavished21 upon her flatteries and endearments22 which made her false to the promise she had given. For this man she had deserted23 the home which Mr. Gordon had provided for her, and had deserted it in such a fashion that she could never return to it, could never again be received in it, and this without a word of explanation to the man she had deceived. She was in her turn deceived, and she awoke from her dream to find herself a lost and abandoned woman. In horror she fled from him, and cast her lot among strangers, knowing full well that she would meet with unbearable24 contumely among those to whom she was known. Hot words had passed between her and her betrayer, and in her anger she had written letters to him which in the eyes of the law would have released him from any obligation it might otherwise have imposed upon him. He was well pleased with this, and he smiled as he put those letters in a place of safety--to be brought forward only in case she annoyed him. She did nothing of the kind; her scorn for him was so profound that she was content to release him unconditionally25. So she passed out of his life as he passed out of hers. Neither of these beings, the betrayed or the betrayer, reckoned with the future; neither of them gave a thought to the probability that the skeins of Fate, which to-day separated them as surely as if they had lived at opposite poles of the earth, might at some future time bring them together again, and that the pages of the book which they believed was closed for ever might be reopened for weal or woe26.
The child's moans aroused the mother from her lethargy. She had no milk to give the babe; nature's founts were dry, and she went from door to door in the house in which she lived to beg for food. She returned as she went, empty-handed, and the child continued to moan.
Dr. Spenlove, her only friend, had bidden her farewell. She had not a penny in her pocket; there was not a crust of bread in the cupboard, not an ounce of coal, not a stick of wood to kindle27 a fire. She was thinly clad, and she did not possess a single article upon which she could have obtained the smallest advance. She had taken the room furnished, but even if what it contained had been her property a broker28 would have given but a few shillings for everything in it.
The little hand instinctively29 wandered to the mother's wasted breast, and plucked at it imploringly30, ravenously31. The woman looked around in the last throes of an anguish32 too deep for expression, except in the appalling33 words to which she gave despairing utterance34.
"Come," she cried, "we will end it!"
Out into the cold streets she crept, unobserved. She shivered, and a pitiful smile crossed her lips.
"Hush35, hush!" she murmured to her babe. "It will soon be over. Better dead--better dead--for you and for me!"
She crept towards the sea, and hugged the wall when she heard approaching footsteps. She need not have feared; the night was too inclement36 for any but selfish consideration. The soft snow fell, and enwrapped her and her child in its pitiless shroud37. She paused by a lamp-post, and cast an upward look at the heavens, in which she could see the glimmering38 of the stars. Then she went on, and fretfully pressed her babe close to her breast, to stifle39 the feeble sobs40.
"Be still, be still!" she murmured. "There is no hope in life for either of us. Better dead--better dead!"
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1
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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2
exhausted
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| adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的 | |
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3
remorseful
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| adj.悔恨的 | |
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dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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5
buoyed
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| v.使浮起( buoy的过去式和过去分词 )；支持；为…设浮标；振奋…的精神 | |
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prevailing
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| adj.盛行的；占优势的；主要的 | |
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7
degenerates
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| 衰退，堕落，退化( degenerate的第三人称单数 ) | |
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8
bigotry
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| n.偏见，偏执，持偏见的行为[态度]等 | |
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9
condemning
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| v.（通常因道义上的原因而）谴责( condemn的现在分词 )；宣判；宣布…不能使用；迫使…陷于不幸的境地 | |
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10
subscribe
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| vi.(to)订阅，订购；同意；vt.捐助，赞助 | |
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creed
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| n.信条；信念，纲领 | |
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worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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esteem
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| n.尊敬，尊重；vt.尊重，敬重；把…看作 | |
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arrogate
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| v.冒称具有...权利，霸占 | |
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15
Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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16
mightier
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| adj. 强有力的，强大的，巨大的 adv. 很，极其 | |
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17
submission
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| n.服从，投降；温顺，谦虚；提出 | |
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18
sublime
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| adj.崇高的，伟大的；极度的，不顾后果的 | |
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19
bind
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| vt.捆，包扎；装订；约束；使凝固；vi.变硬 | |
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contemplated
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| adj. 预期的 动词contemplate的过去分词形式 | |
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lavished
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| v.过分给予，滥施( lavish的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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endearments
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| n.表示爱慕的话语，亲热的表示( endearment的名词复数 ) | |
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23
deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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24
unbearable
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| adj.不能容忍的；忍受不住的 | |
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unconditionally
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| adv.无条件地 | |
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woe
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| n.悲哀，苦痛，不幸，困难；int.用来表达悲伤或惊慌 | |
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27
kindle
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| v.点燃，着火 | |
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broker
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| n.中间人，经纪人；v.作为中间人来安排 | |
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29
instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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30
imploringly
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| adv. 恳求地, 哀求地 | |
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31
ravenously
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| adv.大嚼地，饥饿地 | |
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32
anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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33
appalling
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| adj.骇人听闻的，令人震惊的，可怕的 | |
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utterance
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| n.用言语表达，话语，言语 | |
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35
hush
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| int.嘘，别出声；n.沉默，静寂；v.使安静 | |
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36
inclement
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| adj.严酷的，严厉的，恶劣的 | |
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37
shroud
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| n.裹尸布，寿衣；罩，幕；vt.覆盖，隐藏 | |
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38
glimmering
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| n.微光，隐约的一瞥adj.薄弱地发光的v.发闪光，发微光( glimmer的现在分词 ) | |
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39
stifle
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| vt.使窒息；闷死；扼杀；抑止，阻止 | |
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40
sobs
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| 啜泣（声），呜咽（声）( sob的名词复数 ) | |
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