Chapter 8

Home. I lighted the living room from the door, looked around for intruders for the first time I could remember, and went inside.

I threw myself on the couch and rubbed my stomach. I wasn't hurt badly. My middle was going to be sorer in the morning than it was now.

Lighting¹ up a cigarette, I watched the shapes of smoke and tried to think.

I looked at it objectively, forward and back.

The solution was obvious.

First of all, I positively² could not have been an aviator³ in World War One. I was in my mid-twenties; anybody could tell that by looking at me. The time was the late 'Fifties; anybody could tell that from the blank-faced Motorola in the corner, the new Edsels on the street. Memories of air combat in Spads and Nieuports stirred in me by old magazines, Quentin Reynolds, and re-runs of Dawn Patrol on television were mere⁴ hallucinations.

Neither could I remember drinking bootleg hooch in speak-easies, hearing Floyd Gibbons announce the Dempsey-Tunney fight, or paying $3.80 to get into the first run of Gone with the Wind.

Only ... I probably had seen GWTW. Hadn't I gone with my mother to a matinee? Didn't she pay 90￠ for me? So how could I remember taking a girl, brunette, red sweater, Cathy, and paying $3.80 each? I couldn't. Different runs. That was it. The thing had been around half a dozen times. But would it have been $3.80 no more than ten years ago?

I struck up a new cigarette.

The thing I must remember, I told myself, was that my recollections were false and unreliable. It would do me no good to keep following these false memories in a closed curve.

I touched my navel area and flinched⁵. The beating, I was confident, had been real. But it had been a nightmare. Those cops couldn't have been true. They were a small boy's bad dream about symbolized⁶ authority. They were keeping me from re-entering the past where I belonged, punishing me to make me stay in my trap of the present.

Oh, God.

I rolled over on my face and pushed it into the upholstery.

That was the worst part of it. False memories, feelings of persecution⁷, that was one thing. Believing that you are actively⁸ caught up in a mixture of the past with the present, a Daliesque viscosity⁹ of reality, was something else.

I needed help.

Or if there was no help for me, it was my duty to have myself placed where I couldn't harm other consumers.

If there was one thing that working for an advertising¹⁰ agency had taught me, it was social responsibility.

I took up the phone book and located several psychiatrists¹¹. I selected one at random¹², for no particular reason.

Dr. Ernest G. Rickenbacker.

I memorized the address and heaved myself to my feet.

1 lighting   

n.照明，光线的明暗，舞台灯光

参考例句：

• The gas lamp gradually lost ground to electric lighting.煤气灯逐渐为电灯所代替。
• The lighting in that restaurant is soft and romantic.那个餐馆照明柔和而且浪漫。

2 positively   

adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实

参考例句：

• She was positively glowing with happiness.她满脸幸福。
• The weather was positively poisonous.这天气着实讨厌。

3 aviator   

n.飞行家，飞行员

参考例句：

• The young aviator bragged of his exploits in the sky.那名年轻的飞行员吹嘘他在空中飞行的英勇事迹。
• Hundreds of admirers besieged the famous aviator.数百名爱慕者围困那个著名飞行员。

4 mere   

adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过

参考例句：

• That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
• It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。

5 flinched   

v.（因危险和痛苦）退缩，畏惧( flinch的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He flinched at the sight of the blood. 他一见到血就往后退。
• This tough Corsican never flinched or failed. 这个刚毅的科西嘉人从来没有任何畏缩或沮丧。 来自辞典例句

6 symbolized   

v.象征，作为…的象征( symbolize的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• For Tigress, Joy symbolized the best a woman could expect from life. 在她看，小福子就足代表女人所应有的享受。 来自汉英文学 - 骆驼祥子
• A car symbolized distinction and achievement, and he was proud. 汽车象征着荣誉和成功，所以他很自豪。 来自辞典例句

7 persecution   

n. 迫害,烦扰

参考例句：

• He had fled from France at the time of the persecution. 他在大迫害时期逃离了法国。
• Their persecution only serves to arouse the opposition of the people. 他们的迫害只激起人民对他们的反抗。

8 actively   

adv.积极地，勤奋地

参考例句：

• During this period all the students were actively participating.在这节课中所有的学生都积极参加。
• We are actively intervening to settle a quarrel.我们正在积极调解争执。

9 viscosity   

n.粘度，粘性

参考例句：

• The viscosity shows a rather pronounced variation with temperature.温度对粘度的影响十分明显。
• The reciprocal of viscosity is known as fluidity.粘度的反意就是流动性。

10 advertising   

n.广告业；广告活动 a.广告的；广告业务的

参考例句：

• Can you give me any advice on getting into advertising? 你能指点我如何涉足广告业吗?
• The advertising campaign is aimed primarily at young people. 这个广告宣传运动主要是针对年轻人的。

11 psychiatrists   

n.精神病专家，精神病医生( psychiatrist的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• They are psychiatrists in good standing. 他们是合格的精神病医生。 来自辞典例句
• Some psychiatrists have patients who grow almost alarmed at how congenial they suddenly feel. 有些精神分析学家发现，他们的某些病人在突然感到惬意的时候几乎会兴奋起来。 来自名作英译部分

12 random   

adj.随机的；任意的；n.偶然的(或随便的)行动

参考例句：

• The list is arranged in a random order.名单排列不分先后。
• On random inspection the meat was found to be bad.经抽查，发现肉变质了。