The hour extended, doubled; but Alexander Hulings barely shifted a knee, a hand. At times a slight convulsive shudder13 passed through his shoulders, but without affecting his position or the concentrated gloom. Occasionally he swallowed dryly; his grip momentarily tightened14 on the chair, but his gaze was level. The afternoon waned15; a sweet breath of flowering magnolia drifted in at the door; the light grew tender; and footfalls without sounded far away. Suddenly Hulings moved: his chair scraped harshly over the bare floor and he strode abruptly18 outside, where he stood facing a small tin sign nailed near the door. It read:
ALEXANDER HULINGS
COUNSELOR19 AT LAW
With a violent gesture, unpremeditated even by himself, he forced his hand under an edge of the sign and ripped it from its place. Then he went back and flung it bitterly, with a crumpling20 impact, away from him, and resumed his place at the table.
It was the end of that! He had practiced law seven, nine, years, detesting21 its circuitous22 trivialities, uniformly failing to establish a professional success, without realizing his utter legal unfitness. Before him on a scrap16 of paper were the figures of his past year's activities. He had made something over nine hundred dollars. And he was thirty-four years old! Those facts, seen together, dinned23 failure in his brain. There were absolutely no indications of a brighter future. Two other actualities added to the gloom of his thoughts: one was Hallie Flower; that would have to be encountered at once, this evening; and the other was—his health.
He was reluctant to admit any question of the latter; he had the feeling, almost a superstition24, that such an admission enlarged whatever, if anything, was the matter with him. It was vague, but increasingly disturbing; he had described it with difficulty to Doctor Veneada, his only intimate among the Eastlake men, as a sensation like that a fiddlestring might experience when tightened remorselessly by a blundering hand.
"At any minute," he had said, "the damned thing must go!"
Veneada had frowned out of his whiskers.
"What you need," the doctor had decided25, "is a complete change. You are strung up. Go away. Forget the law for two or three months. The Mineral is the place for you."
Alexander Hulings couldn't afford a month or more at the Mineral Spring; and he had said so with the sharpness that was one of the annoying symptoms of his condition. He had had several letters, though, throughout a number of years, from James Claypole, a cousin of his mother, asking him out to Tubal Cain, the iron forge which barely kept Claypole alive; and he might manage that—if it were not for Hallie Flower. There the conversation had come to an inevitable27 conclusion.
Now, in a flurry of violence that was, nevertheless, the expression of complete purpose, he had ended his practice, his only livelihood28; and that would—must—end Hallie.
He had been engaged to her from the day when, together, they had, with a pretense29 of formality, opened his office in Eastlake. He had determined30 not to marry until he made a thousand dollars in a year; and, as year after year slipped by without his accumulating that amount, their engagement had come to resemble the unemotional contact of a union without sex. Lately Hallie had seemed almost content with duties in her parental31 home and the three evenings weekly that Alexander spent with her in the formal propriety32 of a front room.
His own feelings defied analysis; but it seemed to him that, frankly33 surveyed, even his love for Hallie Flower had been swallowed up in the tide of irritability34 rising about him. He felt no active sorrow at the knowledge that he was about to relinquish35 all claim upon her; his pride stirred resentfully; the evening promised to be uncomfortable—but that was all.
The room swam about him in a manner that had grown hatefully familiar; he swayed in his chair; and his hands were at once numb26 with cold and wet with perspiration36. A sinking fear fastened on him, an inchoate37 dread38 that he fought bitterly. It wasn't death from which Alexander Hulings shuddered39, but a crawling sensation that turned his knees to dust. He was a slight man, with narrow shoulders and close-swinging arms, but as rigidly41 erect42 as an iron bar; his mentality43 was like that too, and he particularly detested44 the variety of nerves that had settled on him.
A form blocked the doorway45, accentuating46 the dusk that had swiftly gathered in the office, and Veneada entered. His neckcloth was, as always, carelessly folded, and his collar hid in rolls of fat; a cloak was thrown back from a wide girth, and he wore an incongruous pair of buff linen47 trousers.
"What's this—mooning in the dark?" he demanded. "Thought you hadn't locked the office door. Come out; fill your lungs with the spring and your stomach with supper."
Without reply, Alexander Hulings followed the other into the street.
"I am going to Hallie's," he said in response to Veneada's unspoken query49.
Suddenly he felt that he must conclude everything at once and get away; where and from what he didn't know. It was not his evening to see Hallie and she would be surprised when he came up on the step. The Flowers had supper at five; it would be over now, and Hallie finished with the dishes and free. Alexander briefly50 told Veneada his double decision.
"In a way," the other said, "I'm glad. You must get away for a little anyway; and you are accomplishing nothing here in Eastlake. You are a rotten lawyer, Alexander; any other man would have quit long ago; but your infernal stubbornness held you to it. You are not a small-town man. You see life in a different, a wider way. And if you could only come on something where your pigheadedness counted there's no saying where you'd reach. I'm sorry for Hallie; she's a nice woman, and you could get along well enough on nine hundred——"
"I said I'd never marry until I made a thousand in a year," Hulings broke in, exasperated51.
"Good heavens! Don't I know that?" Veneada replied. "And you won't, you—you mule52! I guess I've suffered enough from your confounded character to know what it means when you say a thing. I think you're right about this. Go up to that fellow Claypole and show him what brittle53 stuff iron is compared to yourself. Seriously, Alex, get out and work like the devil at a heavy job; go to bed with your back ruined and your hands raw. You know I'll miss you—means a lot to me, best friend."
A deep embarrassment54 was visible on Veneada; it was communicated to Alexander Hulings, and he was relieved when they drew opposite the Flowers' dwelling55.
It was a narrow, high brick structure, with a portico56 cap, supported by cast-iron grilling57, and shallow iron-railed balconies on the second story. A gravel58 path divided a small lawn beyond a gate guarded by two stone greyhounds. Hallie emerged from the house with an expression of mild inquiry60 at his unexpected appearance. She was a year older than himself, an erect, thin woman, with a pale coloring and unstirred blue eyes.
"Why, Alex," she remarked, "whatever brought you here on a Saturday?" They sat, without further immediate61 speech, from long habit, in familiar chairs.
He wondered how he was going to tell her. And the question, the difficulty, roused in him an astonishing amount of exasperation62. He regarded her almost vindictively63, with covertly64 shut hands. He must get hold of himself. Hallie, to whom he was about to do irreparable harm, the kindest woman in existence! But he realized that whatever feeling he had had for her was gone for ever; she had become merged59 indistinguishably into the thought of East-lake; and every nerve in him demanded a total separation from the slumbrous town that had witnessed his legal failure.
He wasn't, he knew, normal; his intention here was reprehensible65, but he was without will to defeat it. Alexander Hulings felt the clumsy hand drawing tighter the string he had pictured himself as being; an overwhelming impulse overtook him to rush away—anywhere, immediately. He said in a rapid blurred66 voice:
"Hallie, this... our plans are a failure. That is, I am. The law's been no good; I mean, I haven't. Can't get the hang of the—the damned——"
"Alex!" she interrupted, astonished at the expletive.
"I'm going away," he gabbled on, only half conscious of his words in waves of giddy insecurity. "Yes; for good. I'm no use here! Shot to pieces, somehow. Forgive me. Can't get a thousand."
Hallie Flower said in a tone of unpremeditated surprise:
"Then I'll never be married!"
She sat with her hands open in her lap, a wistfulness on her countenance that he found only silly. He cursed himself, his impotence, bitterly. Now he wanted to get away; but there remained an almost more impossible consummation—Hallie's parents. They were old; she was an only child.
"Your father——" he muttered.
On his feet he swayed like a pendulum67. Viselike fingers gripped at the back of his neck. The hand of death? Incredibly he lived through a stammering68, racking period, in the midst of which a cuckoo ejaculated seven idiotic69 notes from the fretted70 face of a clock.
He was on the street again; the cruel pressure was relaxed; he drew a deep breath. In his room, a select chamber71 with a "private" family, he packed and strapped72 his small leather trunk. There was nowhere among his belongings73 a suggestion of any souvenir of the past, anything sentimental74 or charged with memory. A daguerreotype75 of Hallie Flower, in an embossed black case lined with red plush, he ground into a shapeless fragment. Afterward76 he was shocked by what he had done and was forced to seek the support of a chair. He clenched77 his jaw78, gazed with stony79 eyes against the formless dread about him.
He had forgotten that the next day was Sunday, with a corresponding dislocation of the train and packet service which was to take him West. A further wait until Monday was necessary. Alexander Hulings got through that too; and was finally seated with Veneada in his light wagon80, behind a clattering81 pair of young Hambletonians, with the trunk secured in the rear. Veneada was taking him to a station on the Columbus Railroad. Though the morning had hardly advanced, and Hulings had wrapped himself in a heavy cape82, the doctor had only a duster, unbuttoned, on his casual clothing.
"You know, Alex," the latter said—"and let me finish before you start to object—that I have more money than I can use. And, though I know you wouldn't just borrow any for cigars, if there ever comes a time when you need a few thousands, if you happen on something that looks good for both of us, don't fail to let me know. You'll pull out of this depression; I think you're a great man, Alex—because you are so unpleasant, if for nothing else."
The doctor's weighty hand fell affectionately on Hulings' shoulder.
Hulings involuntarily moved from the other's contact; he wanted to leave all—all of Eastlake. Once away, he was certain, his being would clarify, grow more secure. He even neglected to issue a characteristic abrupt17 refusal of Veneada's implied offer of assistance; though all that he possessed83, now strapped in his wallet, was a meager84 provision for a debilitated85 man who had cast safety behind him.
The doctor pulled his horses in beside a small, boxlike station, on flat wooden tracks, dominated by a stout86 pole, to which was nailed a ladderlike succession of cross blocks.
Alexander Hulings was infinitely87 relieved when the other, after some last professional injunctions, drove away. Already, he thought, he felt better; and he watched, with a faint stirring of normal curiosity, the station master climb the pole and survey the mid-distance for the approaching train.
The engine finally rolled fussily88 into view, with a lurid89 black column of smoke pouring from a thin belled stack, and dragging a rocking, precarious90 brigade of chariot coaches scrolled91 in bright yellow and staring blue. It stopped, with a fretful ringing and grinding impact of coach on coach. Alexander Hulings' trunk was shouldered to a roof; and after an inspection92 of the close interiors he followed his baggage to an open seat above. The engine gathered momentum93; he was jerked rudely forward and blinded by a cloud of smoke streaked94 with flaring95 cinders96.
There was a faint cry at his back, and he saw a woman clutching a charring hole in her crinoline. The railroad journey was an insuperable torment97; the diminishing crash at the stops, either at a station or where cut wood was stacked to fire the engine, the choking hot waves of smoke, the shouted confabulations between the captain and the engineer, forward on his precarious ledge—all added to an excruciating torture of Hulings' racked and shuddering98 nerves. His rigid40 body was thrown from side to side; his spine99 seemed at the point of splintering from the pounding of the rails.
An utter mental dejection weighed down his shattered being; it was not the past but the future that oppressed him. Perhaps he was going only to die miserably100 in an obscure hole; Veneada probably wouldn't tell him the truth about his condition. What he most resented, with a tenuous spark of his customary obstinate101 spirit, was the thought of never justifying102 a belief he possessed in his ultimate power to conquer circumstance, to be greatly successful.
Veneada, a man without flattery, had himself used that word "great" in connection with him.
Alexander Hulings felt dimly, even now, a sense of cold power; a hunger for struggle different from a petty law practice in Eastlake. He thought of the iron that James Claypole unsuccessfully wrought103; and something in the word, its implied obduracy104, fired his disintegrating105 mind. "Iron!" Unconsciously he spoke48 the word aloud. He was entirely106 ignorant of what, exactly, it meant, what were the processes of its fluxing107 and refinement108; forge and furnace were hardly separated in his thoughts. But out of the confusion emerged the one concrete stubborn fact—iron!
He was drawn109, at last, over a level grassy110 plain, at the far edge of which evening and clustered houses merged on a silver expanse of river. It was Columbus, where he found the canal packets lying in the terminal-station basin.
点击收听单词发音
1 dingy | |
adj.昏暗的,肮脏的 | |
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2 tenuous | |
adj.细薄的,稀薄的,空洞的 | |
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3 countenance | |
n.脸色,面容;面部表情;vt.支持,赞同 | |
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4 tranquil | |
adj. 安静的, 宁静的, 稳定的, 不变的 | |
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5 maple | |
n.槭树,枫树,槭木 | |
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6 plank | |
n.板条,木板,政策要点,政纲条目 | |
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7 crumbling | |
adj.摇摇欲坠的 | |
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8 glazed | |
adj.光滑的,像玻璃的;上过釉的;呆滞无神的v.装玻璃( glaze的过去式);上釉于,上光;(目光)变得呆滞无神 | |
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9 cannon | |
n.大炮,火炮;飞机上的机关炮 | |
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10 engraving | |
n.版画;雕刻(作品);雕刻艺术;镌版术v.在(硬物)上雕刻(字,画等)( engrave的现在分词 );将某事物深深印在(记忆或头脑中) | |
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11 elongated | |
v.延长,加长( elongate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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12 monotonous | |
adj.单调的,一成不变的,使人厌倦的 | |
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13 shudder | |
v.战粟,震动,剧烈地摇晃;n.战粟,抖动 | |
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14 tightened | |
收紧( tighten的过去式和过去分词 ); (使)变紧; (使)绷紧; 加紧 | |
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15 waned | |
v.衰落( wane的过去式和过去分词 );(月)亏;变小;变暗淡 | |
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16 scrap | |
n.碎片;废料;v.废弃,报废 | |
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17 abrupt | |
adj.突然的,意外的;唐突的,鲁莽的 | |
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18 abruptly | |
adv.突然地,出其不意地 | |
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19 counselor | |
n.顾问,法律顾问 | |
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20 crumpling | |
压皱,弄皱( crumple的现在分词 ); 变皱 | |
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21 detesting | |
v.憎恶,嫌恶,痛恨( detest的现在分词 ) | |
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22 circuitous | |
adj.迂回的路的,迂曲的,绕行的 | |
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23 dinned | |
vt.喧闹(din的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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24 superstition | |
n.迷信,迷信行为 | |
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25 decided | |
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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26 numb | |
adj.麻木的,失去感觉的;v.使麻木 | |
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27 inevitable | |
adj.不可避免的,必然发生的 | |
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28 livelihood | |
n.生计,谋生之道 | |
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29 pretense | |
n.矫饰,做作,借口 | |
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30 determined | |
adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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31 parental | |
adj.父母的;父的;母的 | |
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32 propriety | |
n.正当行为;正当;适当 | |
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33 frankly | |
adv.坦白地,直率地;坦率地说 | |
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34 irritability | |
n.易怒 | |
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35 relinquish | |
v.放弃,撤回,让与,放手 | |
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36 perspiration | |
n.汗水;出汗 | |
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37 inchoate | |
adj.才开始的,初期的 | |
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38 dread | |
vt.担忧,忧虑;惧怕,不敢;n.担忧,畏惧 | |
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39 shuddered | |
v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 );发抖;(机器、车辆等)突然震动;颤动 | |
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40 rigid | |
adj.严格的,死板的;刚硬的,僵硬的 | |
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41 rigidly | |
adv.刻板地,僵化地 | |
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42 erect | |
n./v.树立,建立,使竖立;adj.直立的,垂直的 | |
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43 mentality | |
n.心理,思想,脑力 | |
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44 detested | |
v.憎恶,嫌恶,痛恨( detest的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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45 doorway | |
n.门口,(喻)入门;门路,途径 | |
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46 accentuating | |
v.重读( accentuate的现在分词 );使突出;使恶化;加重音符号于 | |
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47 linen | |
n.亚麻布,亚麻线,亚麻制品;adj.亚麻布制的,亚麻的 | |
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48 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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49 query | |
n.疑问,问号,质问;vt.询问,表示怀疑 | |
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50 briefly | |
adv.简单地,简短地 | |
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51 exasperated | |
adj.恼怒的 | |
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52 mule | |
n.骡子,杂种,执拗的人 | |
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53 brittle | |
adj.易碎的;脆弱的;冷淡的;(声音)尖利的 | |
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54 embarrassment | |
n.尴尬;使人为难的人(事物);障碍;窘迫 | |
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55 dwelling | |
n.住宅,住所,寓所 | |
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56 portico | |
n.柱廊,门廊 | |
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57 grilling | |
v.烧烤( grill的现在分词 );拷问,盘问 | |
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58 gravel | |
n.砂跞;砂砾层;结石 | |
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59 merged | |
(使)混合( merge的过去式和过去分词 ); 相融; 融入; 渐渐消失在某物中 | |
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60 inquiry | |
n.打听,询问,调查,查问 | |
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61 immediate | |
adj.立即的;直接的,最接近的;紧靠的 | |
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62 exasperation | |
n.愤慨 | |
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63 vindictively | |
adv.恶毒地;报复地 | |
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64 covertly | |
adv.偷偷摸摸地 | |
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65 reprehensible | |
adj.该受责备的 | |
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66 blurred | |
v.(使)变模糊( blur的过去式和过去分词 );(使)难以区分;模模糊糊;迷离 | |
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67 pendulum | |
n.摆,钟摆 | |
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68 stammering | |
v.结巴地说出( stammer的现在分词 ) | |
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69 idiotic | |
adj.白痴的 | |
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70 fretted | |
焦躁的,附有弦马的,腐蚀的 | |
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71 chamber | |
n.房间,寝室;会议厅;议院;会所 | |
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72 strapped | |
adj.用皮带捆住的,用皮带装饰的;身无分文的;缺钱;手头紧v.用皮带捆扎(strap的过去式和过去分词);用皮带抽打;包扎;给…打绷带 | |
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73 belongings | |
n.私人物品,私人财物 | |
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74 sentimental | |
adj.多愁善感的,感伤的 | |
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75 daguerreotype | |
n.银板照相 | |
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76 afterward | |
adv.后来;以后 | |
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77 clenched | |
v.紧握,抓紧,咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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78 jaw | |
n.颚,颌,说教,流言蜚语;v.喋喋不休,教训 | |
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79 stony | |
adj.石头的,多石头的,冷酷的,无情的 | |
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80 wagon | |
n.四轮马车,手推车,面包车;无盖运货列车 | |
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81 clattering | |
发出咔哒声(clatter的现在分词形式) | |
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82 cape | |
n.海角,岬;披肩,短披风 | |
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83 possessed | |
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的 | |
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84 meager | |
adj.缺乏的,不足的,瘦的 | |
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85 debilitated | |
adj.疲惫不堪的,操劳过度的v.使(人或人的身体)非常虚弱( debilitate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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87 infinitely | |
adv.无限地,无穷地 | |
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88 fussily | |
adv.无事空扰地,大惊小怪地,小题大做地 | |
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89 lurid | |
adj.可怕的;血红的;苍白的 | |
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90 precarious | |
adj.不安定的,靠不住的;根据不足的 | |
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91 scrolled | |
adj.具有涡卷装饰的v.(电脑屏幕上)从上到下移动(资料等),卷页( scroll的过去式和过去分词 );(似卷轴般)卷起;(像展开卷轴般地)将文字显示于屏幕 | |
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92 inspection | |
n.检查,审查,检阅 | |
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93 momentum | |
n.动力,冲力,势头;动量 | |
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94 streaked | |
adj.有条斑纹的,不安的v.快速移动( streak的过去式和过去分词 );使布满条纹 | |
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95 flaring | |
a.火焰摇曳的,过份艳丽的 | |
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96 cinders | |
n.煤渣( cinder的名词复数 );炭渣;煤渣路;煤渣跑道 | |
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97 torment | |
n.折磨;令人痛苦的东西(人);vt.折磨;纠缠 | |
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98 shuddering | |
v.战栗( shudder的现在分词 );发抖;(机器、车辆等)突然震动;颤动 | |
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99 spine | |
n.脊柱,脊椎;(动植物的)刺;书脊 | |
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100 miserably | |
adv.痛苦地;悲惨地;糟糕地;极度地 | |
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101 obstinate | |
adj.顽固的,倔强的,不易屈服的,较难治愈的 | |
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102 justifying | |
证明…有理( justify的现在分词 ); 为…辩护; 对…作出解释; 为…辩解(或辩护) | |
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103 wrought | |
v.引起;以…原料制作;运转;adj.制造的 | |
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104 obduracy | |
n.冷酷无情,顽固,执拗 | |
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105 disintegrating | |
v.(使)破裂[分裂,粉碎],(使)崩溃( disintegrate的现在分词 ) | |
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106 entirely | |
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
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107 fluxing | |
稀释,冲淡; 造渣; 熔解; 增塑 | |
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108 refinement | |
n.文雅;高尚;精美;精制;精炼 | |
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109 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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110 grassy | |
adj.盖满草的;长满草的 | |
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