The idea originated with Bindle, who is never so happy as when listening to or telling a story. Sooner or later he will so guide conversation as to challenge from someone a reminiscence, or failing that, he will himself assume the burden of responsibility, and tell of how he engineered one of his "little jokes," as he calls them.
"I likes to 'ear 'im tellin' the tale," Bindle remarked one evening, as we sat in Dick Little's flat. Dick had just finished an extravagant1 and highly-coloured account of an Oxford2 "rag." "Fancy young gentlemen be'avin' like that," Bindle continued, "instead o' learnin' to be parsons. P'raps that's why they looks such gentle Jims when they gets into a stiff collar," and Bindle buried a wink3 in his tankard.
A number of us had formed the habit of drifting into Dick Little's flat in Chelsea on Sunday evenings for a smoke, a drink and a yarn4. That was in Dick's bachelor days and when he was working night and day at "Tims" (St. Timothy's Hospital). There would be Jocelyn Dare, the writer and inveterate5 hater of publishers, Jack6 Carruthers, who tolerated everybody except Mr. Lloyd George, sometimes Tom Little, Dick's brother, and about a dozen others, including a lot of men from "Tims."
One Sunday evening in May, when the air was heavily-scented with blackthorn and laburnum, Bindle and I arrived on Dick Little's doorstep within two seconds of each other.
"Hullo, J.B.," I hailed as he was closing the outer door of the mansions7. We always call him "J.B.," following Dick Little's lead.
"Cheerio, sir," he responded, holding the door open for me to pass and, giving vent8 to an elaborate sigh of relief, added: "I'm glad to get in, that I am. I never feels safe till I gets 'ere. Lord! 'ow them young women do make eyes at me. I s'pose it's the Spring. It ain't safe for me to be out, it ain't really, sir."
We were the first arrivals, and it was during the next ten minutes that Bindle made his proposal.
"Why shouldn't we 'ave a little club, sir, wot does nothink but tell the tale?" he asked.
That was the inception9 of the whole idea. Dick grasped hold of it eagerly. He is a doctor and doing his best to kill himself with hospital work, and I think he saw in Bindle's suggestion a welcome change after a strenuous10 week's work. We discussed the matter during the next ten minutes, and, when the other fellows arrived, they were told of the new order of things and, with one voice, acclaimed11 Bindle a genius. It must be confessed that the men from "Tims" are unrivalled in their capacity for acclamation—they revel12 in the robustious. It frequently involves Dick Little in difficulties with his neighbours, especially with a choleric13 old general who lives in the flat beneath.
"I always wanted a night club," explained Bindle when he had disentangled his limbs from the eager hands that had hoisted14 him shoulder-high. "It 'ud sort o' cheer Mrs. B. up to know that 'er ole man was goin' to 'ell quicker than wot she thought."
After that it was always "The Night Club." We seemed to adopt the name as a matter of course.
We arranged to meet on Sunday evenings at nine o'clock. Each member of the Club was liable to be called upon to tell a story, after being given a reasonable notice.
"Didn't we ought to 'ave rules, sir," enquired15 Bindle of Dick Little.
"Once you start making rules you are undone," broke in Tom Little, "for you have to frame other rules to modify those already made. At Oxford——"
"Is it to be a cock and hen club?" interrupted Carruthers.
"A cock an' wot club, sir?" enquired Bindle, pausing in the act of lighting16 his pipe. "A cock an' wot club?"
"Are ladies to be——" Carruthers got no further. Bindle deliberately17 replaced the match in the box, which with his pipe he returned to his jacket pocket. Then with great solemnity and deliberation he rose and walked towards the door.
"Hullo! J.B.," cried Dick Little. "What's up?"
"If you're goin' to 'ave 'ens, sir, this 'ere cock's off, see?"
"Come back, you silly ass," laughed Tom Little.
Bindle paused irresolutely18 and looked from face to face. "Is it 'ens or no 'ens, sir?" he enquired of Dick Little.
"Why, no hens, of course," shouted Jim Colman, one of Tim's men, giving Bindle a thump19 between the shoulders that would have made most men wince20.
"Right-o, gentlemen; then this 'ere cock withdraws 'is resignation, an' all's serene21 again," and Bindle returned to his seat and the occupation of kindling22 his pipe.
Thus it was that women were barred from the Night Club.
The first meeting, however, ended in a fiasco. A fellow named Roger Blint had been called upon to tell a yarn, which proved him to be utterly23 devoid24 of narrative25 skill. It was something about a man who was jilted by a girl and, in consequence, went to the war, returning a few months later with his breast a rainbow of ribbons and his pockets jingling26 with medals, crosses and stars. We were all much depressed27.
After the others had gone Bindle, Dick Little and I conferred together, and it was decided28 by a majority of two to one that I was first to hear the stories, write them out and read them to the club.
I protested that I was too busy; but Bindle had finally over-ruled my expostulations.
"No, one ain't never too busy to do a little bit more," he said. "I once 'ad a special kind o' performin' fleas29, wot was the busiest things I ever seen; yet they wasn't too busy to give me a nip or two now and then. You got to do it, sir," and I felt I had.
We developed into a curiously30 motley crowd. One night Bindle brought Ginger31 along, and Ginger had remarked "I don't 'old wiv them sort o' clubs." He refused all other invitations. We had among us a retired32 policeman, a man who kept a coffee-stall, Angell Herald33, the famous publicity34 agent, the Honourable35 Anthony Charles Windover (now Lord Windover), and many others. Had we accepted all the nominations36, we should have been an uncomfortably mixed crowd. Dick Little was particularly anxious to introduce a "Polish" barber whose name was Schmidt, on the strength of his having exhibited in his shop-window the following notice:—
"I am an alleged37 Russian subject,"
but we had blackballed the worthy38 Schmidt.
"Because a cove39 says a funny thing," remarked Bindle, "doesn't always mean 'e's funny. Sometimes 'e can't 'elp it, poor chap."
As a result of the story about Sallie, Jack Carruthers' sister, she became the only woman ever admitted to the Night Club. There was not a man in the assembly but was desperately40 in love with her from the moment he heard the tale. Never was a queen more deferred41 to and fussed over than Sallie. To Bindle she was "the sport of sports." "She ain't always flapping 'er petticoats," he said admiringly. "Yer wouldn't know you 'ad a bit o' skirt 'ere except when yer looks at 'er face."
Bindle was Sallie's cavalier. If the atmosphere seemed to get too thick with smoke, it was he who threw up the window, or propped42 open the door until it cleared. When Jack Carruthers was not present, it was always Bindle who put Sallie into her taxi; it was an understood thing. One night the Boy, quite unthinkingly, endeavoured to usurp43 Bindle's prerogative44. Bindle had looked him up and down for a moment and remarked cheerily: "All right, 'Mr. 'Indenburg,' you jest wait till I've finished, then I'll come and take you 'ome."
Bindle is a journeyman pantechnicon-man, with an unquenchable thirst for fun. He is small, bald-headed, red-nosed, cheery. To him life is one long-drawn-out joke. He is blessed with a wife and brother-in-law (Alfred Hearty45, the Fulham greengrocer), whose godliness is overpowering. Bindle is a cockney by birth and in feeling. He loves mischief46 for its own sake; but underneath47 there is always gentleness and consideration for the unfortunate, and a kindly48 philosophy without which laughter is an insult to life.
Of the other members of The Night Club little need be said. Most of them are doing war-work in some shape or form. Windover is a captain on the Staff, Carruthers is in the R.N.R., Dare is in munitions49, his heart "plucked" him for the army, and the rest are doing their bit to the best of their ability. To one and all Sunday is a relaxation50 from a strenuous week of work, and the presiding spirit of our assemblies is our unanimously-elected chairman, Joseph Bindle.
Although Bindle is a laughing philosopher, he has several streaks51 of granite52 in his composition: among them independence. One of the first questions raised was that of drinks. Dick Little, whose generosity53 is embarrassing, had said that was his affair.
"Very well, sir," was Bindle's comment; "then you breaks up the Night Club."
Enquiry elicited54 from Bindle the announcement that unless we all paid our share, he "wasn't taking anythink." From that time it became an understood thing that each member became responsible for one evening's refreshments55. We had fought Bindle as long as possible, but he was adamant56.
It was quite by chance we discovered later that when his turn came to pay, he had worked overtime57 for a whole week so that Mrs. Bindle should not go short on account of his pleasures.
Bindle had suggested that when the time came a selection of the stories might be printed. It was explained to him that short stories do not sell; the British public does not like, and will not read, them.
Bindle had pondered over this for a while and, finally, had said with decision: "Then we'll make 'em read ours. Me an' Mrs. B. don't neither of us seem to fancy cold mutton, an' when there's a bit over you should jest see wot she can do with it. She can turn it into anythink from stewed58 rabbit to mince59 pies." Then turning to me he continued: "You done me proud in that other little 'ymn book o' yours, sir, although 'Earty and Mrs. B. don't seem quite to 'ave recovered from the shock o' bein' famous, and now you can tell all about our Night Club.
"You jest tell about Miss Sallie, sir, ah' Young 'Indenburg, the Cherub60 (Bindle's name for Angell Herald), an' Mr. Gawd Blast (Jocelyn Dare); why them alone 'ud make any book famous. Then you might add jest a sort of 'int, yer know, sir, that I'd be in it an' then, wot-o!" Bindle did a few fancy steps towards his tankard and took a good pull. "With Miss Sallie, Young 'Indenburg, an' me, sir, you got the real thing."
That settled the matter, and here is the book, short stories disguised as a book of consecutive61 interest, just as Mrs. Bindle's cold mutton masquerades as "stewed rabbit" or "mince pies." It's a fraud, a palpable fraud, but as Bindle says, we all keep "a-poppin' up like U-boats, that people'll sort o' get fond of us."
Many will say I should have been firmer; but the man who can withstand Bindle when he is set upon having his own way is a being of finer moral fibre than I.
The hour, when it came, for deciding which stories should be included and which omitted, would, I thought, be the last of the Night Club. Nobody agreed upon anything. Sallie refused to allow the story to be told of how she did what the whole power of Germany has failed to do—tricked the British Navy. At the mere62 suggestion of printing even a covert63 reference to himself, the Boy became almost hysterical64. Angell Herald, on the other hand, felt that all his yarns65 should go in, and said so, intimating also that he had several others. Furthermore he hinted that he might get us some advertisements to go at the end of the volume, provided it satisfied him!
Finally it was agreed that Dare and I should decide what stories were to be included, and from our verdict there was to be no appeal. Bindle's last words on the subject were—
"You jest put me an' Miss Sallie on the cover an' you'll see."
点击
收听单词发音
收听单词发音 |
1
extravagant
|
|
| adj.奢侈的；过分的；(言行等)放肆的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
2
Oxford
|
|
| n.牛津（英国城市） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
3
wink
|
|
| n.眨眼，使眼色，瞬间；v.眨眼，使眼色，闪烁 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
4
yarn
|
|
| n.纱，纱线，纺线；奇闻漫谈，旅行轶事 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
5
inveterate
|
|
| adj.积习已深的，根深蒂固的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
6
jack
|
|
| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
7
mansions
|
|
| n.宅第，公馆，大厦( mansion的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
8
vent
|
|
| n.通风口，排放口；开衩；vt.表达，发泄 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
9
inception
|
|
| n.开端，开始，取得学位 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
10
strenuous
|
|
| adj.奋发的，使劲的；紧张的；热烈的，狂热的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
11
acclaimed
|
|
| adj.受人欢迎的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
12
revel
|
|
| vi.狂欢作乐，陶醉；n.作乐，狂欢 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
13
choleric
|
|
| adj.易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
14
hoisted
|
|
| 把…吊起，升起( hoist的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
15
enquired
|
|
| 打听( enquire的过去式和过去分词 )； 询问； 问问题； 查问 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
16
lighting
|
|
| n.照明，光线的明暗，舞台灯光 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
17
deliberately
|
|
| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
18
irresolutely
|
|
| adv.优柔寡断地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
19
thump
|
|
| v.重击，砰然地响；n.重击，重击声 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
20
wince
|
|
| n.畏缩，退避，（因痛苦，苦恼等)面部肌肉抽动；v.畏缩，退缩，退避 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
21
serene
|
|
| adj. 安详的，宁静的，平静的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
22
kindling
|
|
| n. 点火, 可燃物 动词kindle的现在分词形式 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
23
utterly
|
|
| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
24
devoid
|
|
| adj.全无的，缺乏的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
25
narrative
|
|
| n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
26
jingling
|
|
| 叮当声 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
27
depressed
|
|
| adj.沮丧的，抑郁的，不景气的，萧条的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
28
decided
|
|
| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
29
fleas
|
|
| n.跳蚤( flea的名词复数 )；爱财如命；没好气地（拒绝某人的要求） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
30
curiously
|
|
| adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
31
ginger
|
|
| n.姜，精力，淡赤黄色；adj.淡赤黄色的；vt.使活泼，使有生气 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
32
retired
|
|
| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
33
herald
|
|
| vt.预示...的来临，预告，宣布，欢迎 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
34
publicity
|
|
| n.众所周知，闻名；宣传，广告 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
35
honourable
|
|
| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
36
nominations
|
|
| n.提名，任命( nomination的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
37
alleged
|
|
| a.被指控的，嫌疑的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
38
worthy
|
|
| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
39
cove
|
|
| n.小海湾，小峡谷 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
40
desperately
|
|
| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
41
deferred
|
|
| adj.延期的，缓召的v.拖延，延缓，推迟( defer的过去式和过去分词 )；服从某人的意愿，遵从 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
42
propped
|
|
| 支撑，支持，维持( prop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
43
usurp
|
|
| vt.篡夺，霸占；vi.篡位 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
44
prerogative
|
|
| n.特权 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
45
hearty
|
|
| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
46
mischief
|
|
| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
47
underneath
|
|
| adj.在...下面，在...底下；adv.在下面 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
48
kindly
|
|
| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
49
munitions
|
|
| n.军火，弹药；v.供应…军需品 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
50
relaxation
|
|
| n.松弛，放松；休息；消遣；娱乐 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
51
streaks
|
|
| n.（与周围有所不同的）条纹( streak的名词复数 )；（通常指不好的）特征（倾向）；（不断经历成功或失败的）一段时期v.快速移动( streak的第三人称单数 )；使布满条纹 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
52
granite
|
|
| adj.花岗岩，花岗石 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
53
generosity
|
|
| n.大度，慷慨，慷慨的行为 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
54
elicited
|
|
| 引出，探出( elicit的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
55
refreshments
|
|
| n.点心,便餐;(会议后的)简单茶点招 待 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
56
adamant
|
|
| adj.坚硬的，固执的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
57
overtime
|
|
| adj.超时的，加班的；adv.加班地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
58
stewed
|
|
| adj.焦虑不安的，烂醉的v.炖( stew的过去式和过去分词 )；煨；思考；担忧 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
59
mince
|
|
| n.切碎物；v.切碎，矫揉做作地说 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
60
cherub
|
|
| n.小天使，胖娃娃 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
61
consecutive
|
|
| adj.连续的，联贯的，始终一贯的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
62
mere
|
|
| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
63
covert
|
|
| adj.隐藏的；暗地里的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
64
hysterical
|
|
| adj.情绪异常激动的，歇斯底里般的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
65
yarns
|
|
| n.纱( yarn的名词复数 )；纱线；奇闻漫谈；旅行轶事 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
| 欢迎访问英文小说网 |