On the opening day a certain great man—great in his own estimation, at least—was to deliver a speech to the school children. This notable gentleman bristled1 with facts and figures; but, alas2! he had acquired so much erudition that he had lost all sense of the fitness of things. Having learned all that is possible for one mortal to know, and yet live, he now made it his pursuit to journey through the country, delivering lectures at the different colleges, and sometimes, as in this instance, at the public schools. There was nothing wicked about this most peculiar3 man; but, with all his learning, he lacked one thing—practical wisdom.
He was of “slender bulk,”—that is, short and gaunt—saffron-faced, and had a pugilistic and threatening manner of poising4 himself while speaking, his hands, meantime, describing geometrical curves that were picturesque5 in the extreme. His eyes were sharp and prominent; his nose followed suit: and his cane6, which was stout7 and elaborately ornamented8, was worth, to descend9 to a hackneyed comparison, an emperor’s ransom10.
He employed the same technical terms that he did when addressing the most polished audiences; and, for that[107] reason, the younger children looked upon him as a sort of hero, while to George and Marmaduke he was a full-fledged demi-god. The former (George) listened attentively11 to the lecture, and took mental note of the big words, with a view to explain their import to his less learned schoolfellows, should an opportunity offer for doing so without too much ostentation12. But, alas! poor youth, many words which were strange to him rolled glibly13 from the professors tongue.
Here we pause—not to make a “digression,” but a vulgar harangue14.
The writer has the temerity15 to hazard the assertion that there might be, in some lone16 corner of the world, an English-speaking romancer, as familiar with a foreign language as with his own, who could write a tale about people speaking that language, and yet have his tale so purely17 and thoroughly18 English that the most neuralgic critic could not cavil19 or repine. But this is only a rash surmise20, and is probably fanciful.
Or is it only those who have acquired a smattering of another language that are so eager to lug21 in words and phrases peculiar to that language?
When will the mediocre22 writer of English come to understand that his meanest, as well as his sublimest23 ideas, may be manifested with as much force in English as in any other language? Alas, never! Instead of saying “such a man is a sharper,” he says, “such a man is a chevalier d’industrie.” What could be more expressive24 than “he is a devil of a fellow?” And yet our learned penmen prefer to say, “he is uomo stupendo!” It is a notorious fact, that whatever language a writer is most conversant25 in, he draws upon oftenest. Happily, the reading public are not much bored with scraps26 from the Esquimau.
But, protests the reader, there are certain terms, and entire phrases, that are not yet Anglicized, but that are in everybody’s mouth.
Very true; against the proper use of such terms and phrases, in moderation, no objections can be raised.
Having thus prated27 nonsense enough to incur28 the[108] deadly hatred29 of every sentimental30 scribbler to the weeklies of rural towns, this interesting argument may be dropped, particularly as it only heads up to the following observation:—
Our circumforaneous holderforth was one of those who cannot make a speech without “borrowing from the classics;” but (for the best of reasons, gentle reader) we kindly32 suppress his redundancies in that respect.
After a few introductory remarks, he cleared his throat, and in sonorous33 tones began to speak of—hydrophobia! Why he should pitch on that as a subject of discussion is as great a marvel34 as the man himself. Possibly, he had been bitten by an exasperated35 mad dog at some period in his life, and could not overcome the temptation of speaking of it now. But the probability is that he considered himself the fountain-head of all sciences and theories, of physics and etiology. At all events, whatever the wiseacre’s motive36 may have been, it is certain that he spoke37 of hydrophobia.
“My dear little children,” he began, affectionately, “it is of the utmost importance that you should be made acquainted with the latest discoveries that science has made with regard to that most subtle distemper, learnedly called lycanthropy. To those among you who intend to become physicians on attaining38 majority, this subject will be absorbingly interesting. It is not my purpose to trace this dread39 distemper from the first mention we have of it down to the present time, but merely to give you a concise40 description of its operations in the human system, from its incipient41 stages to the final paroxysms, and also to touch upon the various methods of treatment in repute among those who have conquered immortality42 by their researches in that field.
“Probably none of you ever beheld43 a rabid canine44. When fleshed in the blood of his victims, he presents one of the most appalling45 sights that the imagination can conjure46 up, and rivals in ferocity the fabulous47 monsters of the ancients. But in good time I shall discourse48 more at large on his appearance; for the present it is sufficient that I make apparent the—But,” breaking off abruptly,[109] “it is well that there should be a thorough understanding between a speaker and his auditors49.”
Then, with that benevolent50 smile, peculiar to instructors51 of juveniles52 when propounding53 their knotty54 questions, he demanded, “Little ones, can you define hydrophobia for me?”
The “little ones” stared stolidly55 and helplessly, but said nothing. The teacher, Mr. Meadows, looking encouraging—then, beseeching—then, mortified—then, irritated—then, wicked. Still the “little ones” maintained silence, both the scholastic56 and his lecture being unintelligible57 to them.
He repeated his question; and George—who, although he did not wish to be ranked with the “little ones,” yet feared that the learned man might consider him equally ignorant if he did not speak—rose prepared to give a precise and lengthy58 definition.
This strikes the key-note to the Sages59 character.
But a mischievous60 little gum-chewer, who doubtless could have answered with tolerable correctness, if he had chosen to do so, forestalled61 him by shouting, at the top of his voice: “Burnt matches and water, Sir!”
Now, it is probable that the juveniles had a chaotic62 idea of the signification of the word, though unable to define it; and as the youngster just cited was generally correct in his answers, they jumped to the conclusion that he was correct this time; therefore, with a deafening63 shout, some fifty “little ones” yelled: “BURNT MATCHES and WATER, SIR!!!”
Poor Teacher Meadows! The emotions with which his bosom64 glowed, were written on his face; and he hitched65 uneasily in his seat, with that look of grave displeasure supposed to be peculiar to aggrieved66 persons.
The professor, probably seasoned to such rebuffs, soon recovered his equanimity67, and turning to the older scholars, asked, “Cannot you give me a satisfactory answer? Come! Anyone! What is hydrophobia?”
Again an answer quivered on Georges lips; but now Charles forestalled him. Taking his cue from the gum-chewer, Charley said, “Excuse me, sir, but you addressed[110] the little folk, and we, quite politely, left it for them to answer. We know what it means, sir. Hysterphostia is a sort of influenza68 that yellow dogs catch when they’re fed on too much picnic victuals69 and spoilt molasses. Then they’re turned loose, with tin cans on their tails, for policemen to shoot at; and everybody that sees them rushing along the street is sure to inhale70 quinine hyster—”
At this point the speaker’s voice was drowned by roars of laughter from the astonished and delighted boys and girls, and he sat down “amid thunders of applause.”
They, at least, appreciated his absurd reply, his pretended ignorance, and his unblushing effrontery71 in thus wantonly insulting the august professor. They had evidently taken a dislike to the scientific gentleman, who was altogether too knowing for them, and, idiot-like, rejoiced to see him thus grossly insulted.
The teacher looked stern and furious, and endeavored in vain to stop the hubbub72. Was his noble patron to be thus shamefully73 treated by a mob of ignorant and good-for-nothing school-children, supposed to be under his training and control? Must not the offenders74 be made to smart for it?
The professor himself was electrified75. However, he had too much self-respect to regard anything that a school-boy might say, and after shooting Charles a look of calm contempt, he resumed his discourse, and proceeded to enlighten Teacher Meadows’ brazen-faced blockheads. He spoke long and earnestly on all things relevant to canine madness, and mad dogs, and at length ventured to propose another question.
“What should you do,” he asked, “if a mad dog should burst into this apartment—his bloody76 eyes starting from their sockets—his mouth wide open, reeking77 with its lethal78 venom79, and disclosing his cruel, hideous80 fangs—he himself dashing headlong hither and thither81, in his ungovernable fury remorselessly laying low victim upon victim—we ourselves imprisoned82 here, utterly83 unable to extricate84 ourselves?—Ah! you may well shudder85 at the frightful86 picture! I forbear. But I repeat, what should you do? Boys and girls, listen:—
[111]
“All that is necessary is sufficient presence of mind, together with firm reliance on your nerves, and you will always be able to face and avert87 the most appalling dangers. And this is the precept88 that I wish to impress upon you: Strive to acquire the habit of self-reliance, for no habit is more important.”
“Yes, yes, boys and girls; mark that; always remember that precept;” good Teacher Meadows cried, rising from his seat, and smiling approval.
But the darkened intellect of the juveniles could not take in the weight of such a precept, and a faint murmur89 of resentment90 passed from mouth to mouth. In the momentary91 interruption that ensued, Steve, who sat near an outside door, rose and slipped out quietly. “I guess I’ll show the professor and the rest of the folks what a rabid canine is like!” he chuckled92 sardonically93.
But the scene still lies within the school-house.
The professor was in earnest, and he certainly seemed capable of making personal application of his precepts94, though, alas! he had never been put to the test!
“What should you do in such an emergency?” he again demanded.
But he did not wish for an answer, and now he had the goodness to tell the gaping95 children what he should do. “Without a moment’s deliberation,” he said, “I should, almost mechanically, muster96 my strength, and prepare to ward97 off the danger. Knife in hand, I should calmly await his murderous onslaught, and when almost upon me I should disarm98 his fury by ruthlessly stabbing him to the heart.”
To add force and illustration to his words, and to gain credit with his hearers, the orator99 whipped out of his pocket a treasure of a knife,—a knife, the possession of which would have shot a thrill of happiness through any understanding boy’s heart,—and brandished100 it wildly, yet gracefully101, slaying102 myriads103 of imaginary mad dogs.
Certainly, he seemed master of the situation; but in an actual attack of a mad dog he might have experienced some difficulty in getting his knife out of his pocket, and opened, in time.
[112]
But where was the professor’s dignity? Why should he make himself ridiculous for the pastime of idiotic104 school-children?
Although his spirit revolted at the thought of thus sacrificing himself, yet his benevolence105 prompted him to do many strange things for the instruction of the ignorant; and on this occasion, he labored106 not to amuse, but to discipline them.
“Most magnanimous soul! most disinterested107 savant!” breaks in the reader, struck with admiration108 for our noble-minded professor.
But when an audible titter ran round the company, the philanthropist hastily pocketed his weapon. Not to be turned from his purpose, however, he resumed his discourse, and artfully harrowed up the feelings of his victims, pausing occasionally to pronounce, and amplify109 on, some wise and weighty precept.
Teacher Meadows nodded his approbation110; the tired school-children became restless and thirsty; their feet went to sleep; they rolled their watery111 eyes pleadingly. Still the strong-lunged enthusiast112 continued to hold forth31, seemingly taking a malicious113 pleasure in preying114 upon their emotions.
Suddenly a distracted boy beheld an object that utterly demoralized him. A piercing shriek115 of agony burst from his lips, and his eye-balls gleamed like those of an ambushed116 highwayman.
点击收听单词发音
1 bristled | |
adj. 直立的,多刺毛的 动词bristle的过去式和过去分词 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
2 alas | |
int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
3 peculiar | |
adj.古怪的,异常的;特殊的,特有的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
4 poising | |
使平衡( poise的现在分词 ); 保持(某种姿势); 抓紧; 使稳定 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
5 picturesque | |
adj.美丽如画的,(语言)生动的,绘声绘色的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
6 cane | |
n.手杖,细长的茎,藤条;v.以杖击,以藤编制的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
8 ornamented | |
adj.花式字体的v.装饰,点缀,美化( ornament的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
9 descend | |
vt./vi.传下来,下来,下降 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
10 ransom | |
n.赎金,赎身;v.赎回,解救 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
11 attentively | |
adv.聚精会神地;周到地;谛;凝神 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
12 ostentation | |
n.夸耀,卖弄 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
13 glibly | |
adv.流利地,流畅地;满口 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
14 harangue | |
n.慷慨冗长的训话,言辞激烈的讲话 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
15 temerity | |
n.鲁莽,冒失 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
16 lone | |
adj.孤寂的,单独的;唯一的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
17 purely | |
adv.纯粹地,完全地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
18 thoroughly | |
adv.完全地,彻底地,十足地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
19 cavil | |
v.挑毛病,吹毛求疵 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
20 surmise | |
v./n.猜想,推测 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
21 lug | |
n.柄,突出部,螺帽;(英)耳朵;(俚)笨蛋;vt.拖,拉,用力拖动 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
22 mediocre | |
adj.平常的,普通的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
23 sublimest | |
伟大的( sublime的最高级 ); 令人赞叹的; 极端的; 不顾后果的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
24 expressive | |
adj.表现的,表达…的,富于表情的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
25 conversant | |
adj.亲近的,有交情的,熟悉的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
26 scraps | |
油渣 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
27 prated | |
v.(古时用语)唠叨,啰唆( prate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
28 incur | |
vt.招致,蒙受,遭遇 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
29 hatred | |
n.憎恶,憎恨,仇恨 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
30 sentimental | |
adj.多愁善感的,感伤的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
31 forth | |
adv.向前;向外,往外 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
32 kindly | |
adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
33 sonorous | |
adj.响亮的,回响的;adv.圆润低沉地;感人地;n.感人,堂皇 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
34 marvel | |
vi.(at)惊叹vt.感到惊异;n.令人惊异的事 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
35 exasperated | |
adj.恼怒的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
36 motive | |
n.动机,目的;adv.发动的,运动的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
37 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
38 attaining | |
(通常经过努力)实现( attain的现在分词 ); 达到; 获得; 达到(某年龄、水平、状况) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
39 dread | |
vt.担忧,忧虑;惧怕,不敢;n.担忧,畏惧 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
40 concise | |
adj.简洁的,简明的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
41 incipient | |
adj.起初的,发端的,初期的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
42 immortality | |
n.不死,不朽 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
43 beheld | |
v.看,注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 );瞧;看呀;(叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现)哎哟 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
44 canine | |
adj.犬的,犬科的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
45 appalling | |
adj.骇人听闻的,令人震惊的,可怕的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
46 conjure | |
v.恳求,祈求;变魔术,变戏法 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
47 fabulous | |
adj.极好的;极为巨大的;寓言中的,传说中的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
48 discourse | |
n.论文,演说;谈话;话语;vi.讲述,著述 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
49 auditors | |
n.审计员,稽核员( auditor的名词复数 );(大学课程的)旁听生 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
50 benevolent | |
adj.仁慈的,乐善好施的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
51 instructors | |
指导者,教师( instructor的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
52 juveniles | |
n.青少年( juvenile的名词复数 );扮演少年角色的演员;未成年人 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
53 propounding | |
v.提出(问题、计划等)供考虑[讨论],提议( propound的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
54 knotty | |
adj.有结的,多节的,多瘤的,棘手的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
55 stolidly | |
adv.迟钝地,神经麻木地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
56 scholastic | |
adj.学校的,学院的,学术上的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
57 unintelligible | |
adj.无法了解的,难解的,莫明其妙的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
58 lengthy | |
adj.漫长的,冗长的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
59 sages | |
n.圣人( sage的名词复数 );智者;哲人;鼠尾草(可用作调料) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
60 mischievous | |
adj.调皮的,恶作剧的,有害的,伤人的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
61 forestalled | |
v.先发制人,预先阻止( forestall的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
62 chaotic | |
adj.混沌的,一片混乱的,一团糟的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
63 deafening | |
adj. 振耳欲聋的, 极喧闹的 动词deafen的现在分词形式 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
64 bosom | |
n.胸,胸部;胸怀;内心;adj.亲密的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
65 hitched | |
(免费)搭乘他人之车( hitch的过去式和过去分词 ); 搭便车; 攀上; 跃上 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
66 aggrieved | |
adj.愤愤不平的,受委屈的;悲痛的;(在合法权利方面)受侵害的v.令委屈,令苦恼,侵害( aggrieve的过去式);令委屈,令苦恼,侵害( aggrieve的过去式和过去分词) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
67 equanimity | |
n.沉着,镇定 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
68 influenza | |
n.流行性感冒,流感 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
69 victuals | |
n.食物;食品 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
70 inhale | |
v.吸入(气体等),吸(烟) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
71 effrontery | |
n.厚颜无耻 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
72 hubbub | |
n.嘈杂;骚乱 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
73 shamefully | |
可耻地; 丢脸地; 不体面地; 羞耻地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
74 offenders | |
n.冒犯者( offender的名词复数 );犯规者;罪犯;妨害…的人(或事物) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
75 electrified | |
v.使电气化( electrify的过去式和过去分词 );使兴奋 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
76 bloody | |
adj.非常的的;流血的;残忍的;adv.很;vt.血染 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
77 reeking | |
v.发出浓烈的臭气( reek的现在分词 );散发臭气;发出难闻的气味 (of sth);明显带有(令人不快或生疑的跡象) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
78 lethal | |
adj.致死的;毁灭性的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
79 venom | |
n.毒液,恶毒,痛恨 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
80 hideous | |
adj.丑陋的,可憎的,可怕的,恐怖的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
81 thither | |
adv.向那里;adj.在那边的,对岸的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
82 imprisoned | |
下狱,监禁( imprison的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
83 utterly | |
adv.完全地,绝对地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
84 extricate | |
v.拯救,救出;解脱 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
85 shudder | |
v.战粟,震动,剧烈地摇晃;n.战粟,抖动 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
86 frightful | |
adj.可怕的;讨厌的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
87 avert | |
v.防止,避免;转移(目光、注意力等) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
88 precept | |
n.戒律;格言 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
89 murmur | |
n.低语,低声的怨言;v.低语,低声而言 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
90 resentment | |
n.怨愤,忿恨 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
91 momentary | |
adj.片刻的,瞬息的;短暂的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
92 chuckled | |
轻声地笑( chuckle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
93 sardonically | |
adv.讽刺地,冷嘲地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
94 precepts | |
n.规诫,戒律,箴言( precept的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
95 gaping | |
adj.口的;张口的;敞口的;多洞穴的v.目瞪口呆地凝视( gape的现在分词 );张开,张大 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
96 muster | |
v.集合,收集,鼓起,激起;n.集合,检阅,集合人员,点名册 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
97 ward | |
n.守卫,监护,病房,行政区,由监护人或法院保护的人(尤指儿童);vt.守护,躲开 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
98 disarm | |
v.解除武装,回复平常的编制,缓和 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
99 orator | |
n.演说者,演讲者,雄辩家 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
100 brandished | |
v.挥舞( brandish的过去式和过去分词 );炫耀 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
101 gracefully | |
ad.大大方方地;优美地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
102 slaying | |
杀戮。 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
103 myriads | |
n.无数,极大数量( myriad的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
104 idiotic | |
adj.白痴的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
105 benevolence | |
n.慈悲,捐助 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
106 labored | |
adj.吃力的,谨慎的v.努力争取(for)( labor的过去式和过去分词 );苦干;详细分析;(指引擎)缓慢而困难地运转 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
107 disinterested | |
adj.不关心的,不感兴趣的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
108 admiration | |
n.钦佩,赞美,羡慕 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
109 amplify | |
vt.放大,增强;详述,详加解说 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
110 approbation | |
n.称赞;认可 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
111 watery | |
adj.有水的,水汪汪的;湿的,湿润的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
112 enthusiast | |
n.热心人,热衷者 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
113 malicious | |
adj.有恶意的,心怀恶意的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
114 preying | |
v.掠食( prey的现在分词 );掠食;折磨;(人)靠欺诈为生 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
115 shriek | |
v./n.尖叫,叫喊 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
116 ambushed | |
v.埋伏( ambush的过去式和过去分词 );埋伏着 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
欢迎访问英文小说网 |