Her manner to Ralph changed visibly. She began to avoid his company; their familiar conversations were at an end. Her whole energy was now devoted2 to one endeavour—to keep him in ignorance of that which he had won. If she were poor, he should be none the richer. And thus, poor soul, she went about her daily duties, putting on a hard face to hide her weakness. Even Nelly found that Rhoda was not so pleasant as she used to be, and the child turned[92] more and more to Mr. Channell. Was he gaining her too?
“I am losing everything, and he is getting everything,” said Rhoda, to herself. “Perhaps this is God’s way of showing me how small my strength is. Haven’t I lost the very thing that I thought myself best able to keep?”
It will always be so with those whom the Lord teaches. In one way or another the humbling3 process must be gone through. Sometimes it is seen of all men; sometimes it is known to Him alone. But as certainly as He loves us “shall the nail that is fastened in the sure place be removed, and be cut down and fall; and the burden that was upon it shall be cut off, for the Lord hath spoken it.” In the soul that He makes his own He will not leave a single peg5 to hang self-confidence upon. And when our chamber6 walls are bare, and the tawdry rags of self-esteem are swept out, He will enter and fill the room with sweetness.
[93]
One afternoon, in the golden harvest-time, Rhoda and Nelly sauntered up into the wheat-fields. The reapers7 were resting under the hedges; in the largest field nearly all the corn had been gathered into sheaves. Rhoda tired quickly now; for when the heart is heavy, the limbs are apt to be weary. She stopped in the middle of the field and dropped down to rest, leaning her back against a great russet shock. A few stray ears nodded overhead, and Nelly nestled under their shadow.
She had always been an impulsive8 child, one of those children who will ask any question that comes into their heads, and a good many come. She had no notion of restraining her curiosity. If anything puzzled her, she must always have it explained.
“Rhoda,” she said, suddenly, in her clear little voice, “what has Mr. Channell done to offend you? Don’t you like him?”
The words struck Rhoda like a sharp unexpected blow. Without a moment’s pause she cried out harshly and bitterly—
[94]
“I wish he’d never come here, Nelly; I wish you and I had never seen him!”
Nelly was so startled by the passionate9 tone that she jumped up from her seat. As she moved, somebody on the other side of the shock moved also. It was Mr. Channell. Rhoda turned her head in time to see him walking away. In an instant she realized that he had heard all, but she dared not think of the construction that would be put upon her outburst. Perhaps she had mortally offended her father’s best friend; perhaps he would go away from them all for ever.
“Oh, what a wretched woman I am!” she groaned10, aloud. And then she saw that Nelly had run off after Ralph Channell.
She rose slowly, and wandered back again to the cottage. The doors and windows were set wide open. Her mother sat peacefully knitting in the parlour, but Rhoda went straight upstairs to her own room. Nobody could do her any good just then. She wanted to be alone and get her senses together. Her[95] head ached, and she had a dazed, helpless feeling of having cut herself off from everything comforting. So she sat down for a few minutes by the bedside, then got up, and fell suddenly on her knees.
In her prayer she did not get much beyond telling God that she was miserable11. It was rather an outpouring of sorrow than a plea for help. But it was her first heartfelt confession12 of utter weakness, and perhaps that was the best way of asking for strength. The stray sheep that falls helpless at the Shepherd’s feet is sure to be folded in His arms and carried in His bosom13.
She could not go down and sit at the tea-table as usual, and no one came to disturb her in her solitude14. But at last, when the shadows were lengthening15 over the fields, and the distant church-clock struck six, she heard a footstep on the stairs. The door opened softly, and her mother’s face looked in.
“May I come to you, Rhoda?” she asked, gently.
[96]
“Yes, mother,” Rhoda answered. “I know how shocked and hurt you must be,” she added. “But, indeed, I couldn’t help it.”
“O Rhoda,” said Mrs. Farren, “we’ve all thought you seemed stern and strange lately, but we didn’t know until to-day that you had found out our secret. He says that it has been all wrong from the beginning; he thinks you ought to have heard the truth at once.”
“The truth, mother?” echoed Rhoda. “What is it that you mean?”
“He says, dear Rhoda, that he ought to have told you who he was,” Mrs. Farren replied. “He sees now that it was wrong to come here under a new name.”
“A new name!” her daughter repeated. “For pity’s sake, mother, speak plainly. Who is he, if he is not Ralph Channell?”
“We all thought you must have found out,” said Mrs. Farren, in a perplexed16 tone. “He is poor Helen’s husband—Robert Clarris.”
It was not until some minutes had passed away that Rhoda was calm enough to hear[97] her mother’s story. The two sat hand in hand, nearer to each other in heart than they had ever been before. Perhaps Mrs. Farren had always been a little afraid of her daughter; but now that she had got a glimpse into Rhoda’s inner self the reserve vanished.
“We had always felt sure that Robert was no practised sinner,” she began; “but we did not know what it was that had driven him to a crime—we only guessed something like the truth. O Rhoda, it’s an awful thing when vanity gets the upper hand with a woman! Poor Helen made a sad confession to me when she lay dying in this very room. It’s hard to speak of the faults of the dead; but there’s justice to be done to the living.”
“Whatever her faults may have been, they were no worse than mine,” Rhoda said, humbly17; “and she has done with sinning now, while I shall be going on—perhaps for years longer.”
“Helen got deeply into debt,” Mrs. Farren continued; [98]“and she used, I am afraid, to go to balls and theatres without her husband’s knowledge. He was sent away sometimes on business by Mr. Elton. But don’t think her worse than she was, Rhoda—she loved gaiety and admiration18 passionately19, but she wasn’t a bad woman at heart—he always knew and believed that; yet she got him into terrible difficulties, poor child! And at last, when her debts had amounted to three hundred pounds, she flung herself at his feet and confessed the truth.”
Both the women were crying. It was indeed hard to expose the faults and follies20 of the dead. They felt as if they had been tearing the soft turf and sweet flowers from Helen’s grave; and yet it had to be done.
“Robert was not a converted man at that time,” went on Mrs. Farren. [99]“The blow knocked him down, and utterly21 bewildered him. He saw no means at all of paying the debts, and he knew they must be paid immediately. Helen hadn’t confessed till her creditors22 had driven her to extremities23; and he went into the city in a state of despair, for there was ‘no help for him in his God.’ Perhaps he would have asked aid from his employer if Mr. Elton had been the owner of the business. But old Mrs. Elton was a close woman, and her son did nothing without her consent.”
Rhoda could almost guess what was coming. She could see now that man’s extremity24 is often the devil’s opportunity. If a soul does not seek help from God, the prince of darkness steps in.
“On that very morning,” said Mrs. Farren, [100]“he found a note from Mr. Elton waiting for him in the office. His master told him that he had been suddenly called off to Ireland to look after some property there. He should be absent six weeks—perhaps longer. Clarris was to take his place and manage things, as he always did while Mr. Elton was away. And just an hour or two later a sunburnt, sailor-like man came in, and clapped Robert on the shoulder. Robert, poor fellow, didn’t recollect25 him at first; but when he said that he was Frank Ridley, and that he had come to pay a debt of long standing26, he remembered all about him.”
“Oh! mother, why did he come just then?” sighed Rhoda.
“The Lord suffered it to be so,” Mrs. Farren answered. “Christ’s hour was not yet come. That was the devil’s hour, and a dark hour it was.”
She went on with the story in her own straightforward27 way. Frank Ridley and Mr. Elton had been schoolfellows and dear friends. But while Elton was steady and painstaking28, even in boyhood, Frank was a never-do-well. One chance after another slipped through his fingers; situations were got and lost. At last some new opening offered itself; but money was needed, and Frank was at that time almost penniless. He came to Elton in his strait, and asked for the loan of three hundred pounds.
To everybody’s surprise, Mrs. Elton lent[101] him the sum. She had a liking29 for handsome young Ridley, and opened her purse with a good grace for his sake. But Frank’s undertaking30 was, as usual, a dead failure, and the money was hopelessly lost. Ridley himself was lost too. For eight years he was neither seen nor heard of; and then he turned up again in Elton’s office with a pocket-book stuffed with bank-notes.
“I’ve found out my vocation31 at last,” he shouted, in his hearty32 tones. “I’m captain of a trading vessel33, and I’ve traded on my own account to good purpose. Here’s the three hundred, and I’m downright sorry that I must be off again without seeing your governor, Clarris.”
Robert received the money—all in notes—and gave a receipt; and then the sailor went his way. After that the enemy came in like a flood, and the deep waters rushed over Robert’s soul. He did not cry, “Lord, save, or I perish!” Alas34! he thought of everything rather than of Him who is able to save[102] to the uttermost. Here was the exact sum that was needed. Frank Ridley was off on his voyages again, and would never, perhaps, return. Robert had only to put the notes in his pocket, and make no entry in the ledger35. Of course there was a certain risk in doing this; but it was very unlikely that anything would be found out. And here was the sum—the very sum that was wanted—within his grasp. He would pay it all back; he would work night and day to do that. He caught at that honest resolution, and clung to it as a man clings to a frail36 spar when the ship goes to pieces.
This was Apollyon’s hour of triumph. Robert went out and paid Helen’s bills on that very night. But the burden that he had taken up was far heavier than that which he had thrown off. It was on a Monday morning that he had received Ridley’s money; and the succeeding days dragged on as if each day were weighted with iron fetters37, till Saturday came. Robert wrote to his master[103] daily, entering into all the details of business as minutely as usual. Then on the Sunday morning—that last Sunday that he ever spent with Helen—he went upstairs after breakfast, and laid down upon his bed. The sense of sin and shame was upon him; he would not mock God by going to church and looking like a respectable man. His wife did not know what ailed38 him. He had told her that the debts were paid—that was all.
Monday came again, the anniversary of his sin. And there, on the office-desk, lay a letter addressed to himself in his master’s handwriting. It had been written on Saturday, and was dated from Dublin.
“I find I am at liberty to come home at once,” Mr. Elton wrote. [104]“I have found a friend here who will look after the property for me. Strangely enough, I ran against Frank Ridley yesterday, and could scarcely believe my own eyes. He had come to Dublin in quest of an old sweetheart. He told me that he had called at the office, and had paid his old debt. He showed me your receipt when I looked incredulous. I am rather surprised that you did not mention this in your letters.”
Robert Clarris put on his hat and coat and went quietly into the outer office.
“Blake,” he said, calling the eldest39 of the under clerks, “I am not well, and must go home at once. I leave the keys in your charge, for I know you may be trusted.”
Blake—an honest fellow—looked into Clarris’s face, and saw that he spoke4 the truth.
Then followed the last miserable interview with Helen, and the hurried preparations for flight. His wife entreated40 that she might go away to her old home, under her uncle’s roof. She had brought him nothing but trouble, she owned piteously; and he would get on better without her. Alas, poor Helen! a sorry helpmeet she had been to the man who had loved her! These two had not asked the Lord to their marriage-feast, and had never drunk of the wine of His love. And so they[105] parted, never to meet again till they should meet at the marriage supper of the Lamb.
In Melbourne there was one Ralph Channell, who had been the friend of Robert’s father, and the miserable man found him out. He told Mr. Channell his whole story. Nothing was concealed41. The sin, in all its hideousness42, was exposed to Ralph Channell’s sight. And yet he took the sinner to his heart.
But he tested the young man patiently. He let him scrape and save to pay back the money that he had stolen; he would not give him a single farthing. Every shilling of the restored sum was fairly earned in Mr. Channell’s service, and paid out of a small salary. And all that time he saw that a mighty43 work of grace was going on in Robert’s soul.
When Mr. Channell lay dying, a lonely, childless man, he called Robert to his side. “All my property is yours,” he said; [106]“you are my sole heir, and you must take my name—ay, and you must make it loved and honoured in the old country.”
So Robert came to England, full of yearnings for the child whom he had never seen. From John Farren he learnt that Rhoda’s heart was hardened against him. And yet, how could he help loving her for the love that she bare to Nelly? He knew all about Rhoda from her mother’s letters. And he wanted, more than he ever acknowledged, to see this woman who could be so hard and yet so tender. The opportunity came. He bought the farm, and gave it to Farmer Farren; only stipulating44 that it should go to Rhoda at her father’s death. And he came to dwell amongst the Farrens as Ralph Channell.
This was all that the mother had to tell. Rhoda got up, when the tale was ended, and went quietly out of the house.
The sun had just gone down; but there was light in the west, where rosy45 cloud-islands floated in a golden sea. And there was a light in Rhoda’s face that gave her a new charm.
She knew, by some subtle instinct, where[107] she should find Robert Channell. She ascended46 the steep, winding47 lane, that led to the old churchyard. How did she guess that one woman’s harshness would send him to the grave of another? How is it that women go straight to a conclusion which a man could only reach by a circuitous48 route?
He neither saw nor heard her coming. His head was bent49 over that flowery mound50, and the grass deadened the sound of her feet. She had been very brave until she found herself by his side. And then all her strength and courage suddenly fled. She had no words to plead for forgiveness; she could only touch his arm with her trembling hand, and call him by the name that she had hated all these years,—
“Robert!”
There was very little said just then. The last glow was dying out of the skies, and the dews were falling on Helen’s grave. But the Lord lifted up the light of His countenance51 upon them, and gave them peace.
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conceal
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽 | |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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humbling
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| adj.令人羞辱的v.使谦恭( humble的现在分词 )；轻松打败（尤指强大的对手）；低声下气 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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peg
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| n.木栓，木钉；vt.用木钉钉，用短桩固定 | |
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chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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reapers
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| n.收割者，收获者( reaper的名词复数 )；收割机 | |
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impulsive
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| adj.冲动的，刺激的；有推动力的 | |
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passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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groaned
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| v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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confession
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bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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lengthening
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perplexed
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| adj.不知所措的 | |
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humbly
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| adv. 恭顺地，谦卑地 | |
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admiration
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passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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follies
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| 罪恶，时事讽刺剧； 愚蠢，蠢笨，愚蠢的行为、思想或做法( folly的名词复数 ) | |
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utterly
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creditors
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| n.债权人，债主( creditor的名词复数 ) | |
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extremities
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| n.端点( extremity的名词复数 )；尽头；手和足；极窘迫的境地 | |
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extremity
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| n.末端，尽头；尽力；终极；极度 | |
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recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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straightforward
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| adj.正直的，坦率的；易懂的，简单的 | |
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painstaking
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| adj.苦干的；艰苦的，费力的，刻苦的 | |
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liking
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| n.爱好；嗜好；喜欢 | |
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undertaking
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| n.保证，许诺，事业 | |
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vocation
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| n.职业，行业 | |
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hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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vessel
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| n.船舶；容器，器皿；管，导管，血管 | |
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alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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ledger
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frail
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| adj.身体虚弱的；易损坏的 | |
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fetters
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| n.脚镣( fetter的名词复数 )；束缚v.给…上脚镣，束缚( fetter的第三人称单数 ) | |
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ailed
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| v.生病( ail的过去式和过去分词 )；感到不舒服；处境困难；境况不佳 | |
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eldest
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| adj.最年长的，最年老的 | |
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entreated
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| 恳求，乞求( entreat的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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hideousness
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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stipulating
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| v.（尤指在协议或建议中）规定，约定，讲明（条件等）( stipulate的现在分词 )；规定，明确要求 | |
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rosy
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| adj.美好的，乐观的，玫瑰色的 | |
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ascended
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| v.上升，攀登( ascend的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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winding
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| n.绕，缠，绕组，线圈 | |
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circuitous
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| adj.迂回的路的，迂曲的，绕行的 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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mound
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| n.土墩，堤，小山；v.筑堤，用土堆防卫 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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