HAROLD

I suppose that every one has made the acquaintance of the subject of this little biography at some time or other, though to others he may not have appeared as he has appeared to me, and, as I know, he has been called by many names.  Indeed, when I consider that there have been men and women who have sought his society with a passionate¹ eagerness, it is clear to me that his disguises must be extremely subtle, and that he employs them with a just regard for the personalities² of his companions.  For while some have found in his society the ultimate splendour of life, for me he has always been wearisome and ridiculously mean.

Of course it may be that I have known him too long, for even as a child I was accustomed to find him at my side, an unwelcome guest who came and went by no law that p. 100my youthful mind could determine.  Certainly in those days he was more capricious, and the method of argument by repetition, which he still employs, was only too well calculated to weary and distress³ a child.  But for the rest, the Harold whom I knew then was materially the Harold whom I know now.  Conceive a small man so severely⁴ afflicted⁵ with St. Vitus’s dance that his features are hardly definable, endow him with a fondness for clothes of dull colours grievously decorated with spots, and a habit of asking meaningless questions over and over again in an utterly⁶ unemotional voice, and you will be able to form a not unfair estimate of the joys of Harold’s society.  There have been exceptions, however, to the detestable colourlessness of Harold’s appearance.  I have seen him on occasion dressed in flaming red, like Mephistopheles, and his shrill⁷ staccato voice has pierced my head like a corkscrew.  But these manifestations⁸ have always been brief, and might even be considered enjoyable when compared with the unrestful monotony of Harold’s society in general.

p. 101Who taught me to call him by the name of Harold I do not know, but in my youthful days the man’s character was oddly associated with the idea of virtue⁹ as expounded¹⁰ in the books I read on Sunday afternoons.  That I hated him was, I felt, merely a fitting attribute in one whose instincts were admittedly bad, but I did not allow the consideration to affect my rejoicings when I escaped from his company.  Curiously¹¹, too, I perceived that the Olympians were with me in this, and since the moral soundness of those improving books was beyond question, I had grave doubts as to their ultimate welfare.  But it was always an easy task to detect the Olympians tripping in their own moralities; they had so many.

As time went on, and I grew out of the Sunday books and all that they stood for, I came to believe that I was growing out of Harold too.  His appearances became rare, and, from his point of view, a little ineffective.  It pleased me to consider with a schoolboy’s arrogance¹² that he was little more than a child’s nightmare, and that if p. 102a man turned to fight him Harold would vanish.  For a while Harold, in his cunning, played up to this idea.  He would seek my side timidly, and fly at a word.  The long, sleepless¹³ nights of childhood and the weary days were forgotten, and I made of him a jest.  Sometimes I wondered whether he really existed.

And then he came.  At first I was only mildly astonished when I found that nothing I could say would make him leave me, but as the hours passed the old hatred¹⁴ asserted itself, and to fight the little man with the dull voice and the cruel spots on his clothes seemed all that there was in life to do.  The hours passed into days and nights, and sometimes I was passive in the hope that he might weary, sometimes I shouted answers to his questions—the same answer to the same question—over and over again.  I felt, too, that if I could only see his features plainly for a moment he would disappear, and I would stare at him until the sky grew red as my eyes.  But I could not see him clearly, and the world became a thing of dull colours, terrible with spots.  p. 103By now I was fighting him with a sense of my own fatuity¹⁵, for I felt that nothing would make this man fight fairly.  His voice had fallen to a passionless whisper and the spots on his clothes swelled¹⁶ into obscene blotches¹⁷ and burst like over-ripe fruit.  It was then that the chloroform clutched me by the throat.  I have never known anything on earth more sweet.

Since then, it seems to me, Harold has never been quite the same.  He comes to see me now and again, and sometimes even he lingers by my side.  But there is a note of doubt about him that I do not remember to have noticed before—some of his former spirit would seem to be lacking, and I am forced to wonder sometimes whether Harold is not ageing.  And, though it may appear strange, the thought inspires me with a certain regret.  I do not like the man, and I should be mad to seek him of my own accord, but in fairness I must acknowledge that in a negative way he has contributed to all the pleasures I have enjoyed.  Sunsets and roses and the white light of the stars—I owe my appreciation¹⁸ of them all to Harold; p. 104and I know that it is by aid of his keen realism that I have founded the city of my dreams.  It will be a grey world when Harold is no more.

1 passionate   

adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的

参考例句：

• He is said to be the most passionate man.据说他是最有激情的人。
• He is very passionate about the project.他对那个项目非常热心。

2 personalities   

n. 诽谤，（对某人容貌、性格等所进行的）人身攻击； 人身攻击；人格, 个性, 名人( personality的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• There seemed to be a degree of personalities in her remarks.她话里有些人身攻击的成分。
• Personalities are not in good taste in general conversation.在一般的谈话中诽谤他人是不高尚的。

3 distress   

n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛

参考例句：

• Nothing could alleviate his distress.什么都不能减轻他的痛苦。
• Please don't distress yourself.请你不要忧愁了。

4 severely   

adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地

参考例句：

• He was severely criticized and removed from his post.他受到了严厉的批评并且被撤了职。
• He is severely put down for his careless work.他因工作上的粗心大意而受到了严厉的批评。

5 afflicted   

使受痛苦，折磨( afflict的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• About 40% of the country's population is afflicted with the disease. 全国40%左右的人口患有这种疾病。
• A terrible restlessness that was like to hunger afflicted Martin Eden. 一阵可怕的、跟饥饿差不多的不安情绪折磨着马丁·伊登。

6 utterly   

adv.完全地，绝对地

参考例句：

• Utterly devoted to the people,he gave his life in saving his patients.他忠于人民，把毕生精力用于挽救患者的生命。
• I was utterly ravished by the way she smiled.她的微笑使我完全陶醉了。

7 shrill   

adj.尖声的；刺耳的；v尖叫

参考例句：

• Whistles began to shrill outside the barn.哨声开始在谷仓外面尖叫。
• The shrill ringing of a bell broke up the card game on the cutter.刺耳的铃声打散了小汽艇的牌局。

8 manifestations   

n.表示，显示（manifestation的复数形式）

参考例句：

• These were manifestations of the darker side of his character. 这些是他性格阴暗面的表现。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• To be wordly-wise and play safe is one of the manifestations of liberalism. 明哲保身是自由主义的表现之一。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

9 virtue   

n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力

参考例句：

• He was considered to be a paragon of virtue.他被认为是品德尽善尽美的典范。
• You need to decorate your mind with virtue.你应该用德行美化心灵。

10 expounded   

论述，详细讲解( expound的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He expounded his views on the subject to me at great length. 他详细地向我阐述了他在这个问题上的观点。
• He warmed up as he expounded his views. 他在阐明自己的意见时激动起来了。

11 curiously   

adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地

参考例句：

• He looked curiously at the people.他好奇地看着那些人。
• He took long stealthy strides. His hands were curiously cold.他迈着悄没声息的大步。他的双手出奇地冷。

12 arrogance   

n.傲慢，自大

参考例句：

• His arrogance comes out in every speech he makes.他每次讲话都表现得骄傲自大。
• Arrogance arrested his progress.骄傲阻碍了他的进步。

13 sleepless   

adj.不睡眠的，睡不著的，不休息的

参考例句：

• The situation gave her many sleepless nights.这种情况害她一连好多天睡不好觉。
• One evening I heard a tale that rendered me sleepless for nights.一天晚上，我听说了一个传闻，把我搞得一连几夜都不能入睡。

14 hatred   

n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨

参考例句：

• He looked at me with hatred in his eyes.他以憎恨的眼光望着我。
• The old man was seized with burning hatred for the fascists.老人对法西斯主义者充满了仇恨。

15 fatuity   

n.愚蠢，愚昧

参考例句：

• This is no doubt the first step out of confusion and fatuity.这无疑是摆脱混乱与愚味的第一步。
• Therefore,ignorance of history often leads to fatuity in politics.历史的无知，往往导致政治上的昏庸。

16 swelled   

增强( swell的过去式和过去分词 )； 肿胀； （使）凸出； 充满（激情）

参考例句：

• The infection swelled his hand. 由于感染，他的手肿了起来。
• After the heavy rain the river swelled. 大雨过后，河水猛涨。

17 blotches   

n.（皮肤上的）红斑，疹块( blotch的名词复数 )；大滴 [大片]（墨水或颜色的）污渍

参考例句：

• His skin was covered with unsightly blotches. 他的皮肤上长满了难看的疹块。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• His face was covered in red blotches, seemingly a nasty case of acne. 他满脸红斑，像是起了很严重的粉刺。 来自辞典例句

18 appreciation   

n.评价；欣赏；感谢；领会，理解；价格上涨

参考例句：

• I would like to express my appreciation and thanks to you all.我想对你们所有人表达我的感激和谢意。
• I'll be sending them a donation in appreciation of their help.我将送给他们一笔捐款以感谢他们的帮助。