All the things that happen produce friction7 because they distract people from the reality they are unconsciously looking for. That is why there are everywhere torrents8 of speech. If she had not read all those old words in the train and had been silent. Silence is reality. Life ought to be lived on a basis of silence, where truth blossoms. Why isn’t such an urgent thing known? Life would become like the individual; alive .... it would show, inside and out, and people would leave off talking so much. Life does show, seen from far off, pouring down into stillness. But the contemplation of it, not caring for pain or suffering except as part of a picture, which no one who is in the picture can see, seems mean. Old women sitting in corners, suddenly making irrelevant9 remarks and chuckling10, see; they make a stillness of reality, a mind picture that does not care, out of the rush of life. Perhaps they do not fear death. Perhaps people who don’t take part don’t fear death ...... the outsider sees most of the game; but that means a cynical11 man who does not care for anything; body and mind without soul. Lying dead at last, with reality left unnoticed on his dressing-table, along the window sill, along the edge of things outside the window....
But one day in the future time would move, by itself, not through anything one did, and there would be no more life.... She looked up hurriedly towards the changing voice. He was no longer reading with a face that showed his thoughts wandering far away.
“The thought of death is, throughout life,
entirely12 absent from the mind of the healthy man.” His brilliant thought filled eyes shone towards her at the end of the sentence.
“There is indeed a vulgarity in perfect health,” he exclaimed.
“Yes,” she said hurriedly, carrying off the statement for examination, as peacefully he went on reading. What did vulgarity mean, or perfect health? Nobody knew. Dante ennobled the vulgar tongue.... People went on forever writing books using the same words with different meanings. Her eyes returned to the relaxed unconscious form. He thought too much of books. Yet it did not appal13 him to think of giving up his free intellectual life and taking to work. ‘I shall still be an interested amateur.’ ... He would go on reading, all his life, sitting as he was sitting now, grave and beautiful; with a mind outspread in a mental experience so wide that he was indifferent to the usual ideas of freedom and advantage. Yet he did not seem to be aware how much the sitting like this, linked to the world by its deep echo in the book, was a realisation of life as he saw it. It did not occur to him that this serenity14, in which were accumulated all the hours they had passed together, was realisation, the life of the world in miniature, making a space where everything in human experience could emerge like a reflection in deep water, with its proportions held true and right by the tranquil15 opposition16 of their separate minds. She summoned onlookers17, who instantly recognised themselves in this picture of leisure. It was in every life that was not astray in ceaseless movement.
It was the place where everything was atoned18. He fitted placed thus, happy, without problems or envies, in possession of himself and his memories in the room where he had voiced them, into the centre of English life where all turned to good, in the last fastness of the private English mind where condemnation19 could not live. He reinforced it with a consciousness that was not in the English, making it show as an idea, revealing in plain terms their failure to act it out...... Thus would his leisure always be. But it was no part of her life. In this tranquillity20 there was no security .... we will always sit like this; we must, she said within herself impatiently towards his unconsciousness. Why did he not perceive the life there was, the mode of life, in this sitting tranquilly21 together? Was he thinking of nothing but his reading? She listened for a moment half carried into the quality of the text. There was reality there, Spinoza, by himself, sounding as if the words were being traced out now, for the first time. One day in a moment of blankness, she would read it and agree and disagree and carry away some idea and lose and recover it and go on, losing and recovering, agreeing and disagreeing....
When he went away her life would be swept clear of intelligently selected books and the sting of conflict with them .... that would not matter; perhaps; books would come, somehow, in the unexpected way they always did. But it was impossible to face the ending of these settled tranquil elderly evenings of peaceful unity22, the quiet dark-bearded form, sitting near, happily engrossed23......
“Well, what do you think of this?”
“I haven’t been attending. But I will read it .... some time.”
“Ah, it is a pity. But tell me your thoughts at least.”
“Oh, I was thinking of my sisters.”
“Ah. You must tell me,” and again with unrelaxed interest he was listening to story after story, finding strange significances, matter for envy and deep chuckles24 of appreciative25 laughter.
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1
obliterate
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v.擦去,涂抹,去掉...痕迹,消失,除去 | |
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2
unlimited
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adj.无限的,不受控制的,无条件的 | |
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3
uncertainty
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n.易变,靠不住,不确知,不确定的事物 | |
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4
torment
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n.折磨;令人痛苦的东西(人);vt.折磨;纠缠 | |
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5
dodging
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n.避开,闪过,音调改变v.闪躲( dodge的现在分词 );回避 | |
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6
crouching
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v.屈膝,蹲伏( crouch的现在分词 ) | |
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7
friction
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n.摩擦,摩擦力 | |
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8
torrents
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n.倾注;奔流( torrent的名词复数 );急流;爆发;连续不断 | |
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9
irrelevant
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adj.不恰当的,无关系的,不相干的 | |
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10
chuckling
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轻声地笑( chuckle的现在分词 ) | |
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11
cynical
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adj.(对人性或动机)怀疑的,不信世道向善的 | |
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12
entirely
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ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
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13
appal
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vt.使胆寒,使惊骇 | |
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14
serenity
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n.宁静,沉着,晴朗 | |
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15
tranquil
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adj. 安静的, 宁静的, 稳定的, 不变的 | |
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16
opposition
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n.反对,敌对 | |
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17
onlookers
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n.旁观者,观看者( onlooker的名词复数 ) | |
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18
atoned
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v.补偿,赎(罪)( atone的过去式和过去分词 );补偿,弥补,赎回 | |
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19
condemnation
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n.谴责; 定罪 | |
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20
tranquillity
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n. 平静, 安静 | |
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21
tranquilly
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adv. 宁静地 | |
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22
unity
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n.团结,联合,统一;和睦,协调 | |
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23
engrossed
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adj.全神贯注的 | |
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24
chuckles
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轻声地笑( chuckle的名词复数 ) | |
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25
appreciative
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adj.有鉴赏力的,有眼力的;感激的 | |
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