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HOW JOHNNIE GOT HIS DEGREE
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The forge in Balnagore was a sort of library of reference to all the young fellows of the district. No matter what information was sought for regarding events of importance that had occurred in Ireland during the past couple of hundred years (we had not much access to books down there) the one and only thought of the seeker after knowledge was to repair at once, or as soon as his work was finished, to the smithy in which Ned M'Grane reigned2, and to ask the same Ned a few questions on the matter which puzzled himself; and Ned, to his credit let me say it, was never, in my recollection, found wanting on any such occasion. His mind was a well-stocked storehouse of local and national history, as well as of humour, which he was ever willing to impart to "the risin' generation," as he called us.

He could remember every droll3 occurrence that had taken place in the parish for at least forty years, and every stirring event of national importance that had taken place in the country during the same period, and along with all this he had, in his young days, set himself the task of acquiring knowledge of events of an earlier period from the people who were old when he was a boy, so that when I state that he could bring us back over the happenings of a couple of hundred years I do not by any means overstep the mark. He often told us that in his young days he had a veritable thirst[Pg 62] for old stories and for knowledge of every kind, and he used to make a round of the neighbours' houses night after night to hear the tales the old people told about the "ould times" and the "good people," and of the far-off days in an Ireland that was free. And if the news was conveyed to him that a "poor scholar" was staying at any farmer's house within a radius4 of seven miles, he used tramp across the country to hear the learned man talk about his travels, and to hear him read out of the books which he carried with him on his journeys.

"From all the goin' about I used to have, an' the way I used to be askin' questions o' the old people, an' the way I used to have the wits worried out o' Master Sweeney o' Kilfane," said Ned to us more than once, "what do you think but some o' the playboys put the nick-name o' 'the poor scholar' on myself, an' every one o' the youngsters used to be jibin' at me about it. I didn't care tuppence as long as I was a gossoon, but it was stickin' so tight to me an' I growin' up a big lad that I gave over my stravagin' a good bit, an' they forgot it after a while. I didn't mind at that time, because the old people were gettin' feeble an' bothered, an' a lot of them dyin' away, too, an' them that came after them didn't care a wisp o' straw for the stories or anythin' only cattle, an' money, an' land. An' signs on it, they're all old men an' women at fifty, with their worryin' over grass land and con-acres, an' calves6, an' things you'd think they could bring to the grave with them. God be with the old times! when the people knew somethin' about Ireland, an' had life an' spirit in them, an' weren't always breakin' their necks[Pg 63] runnin' after the world, an' never catchin' up with it, like them we see round us every day. Aye! God be with the old times, when it's not backbitin' each other they'd be round the fire at night, or makin' up law cases against each other. I wish it was the old times again!"

I reproduce the above speech of Ned's, which was delivered partly to us and partly to himself many a time when the retrospective mood held possession of him—I reproduce it, I say, to show that Ned M'Grane's outlook on life was neither narrow nor sordid7, but that there was in his mind and heart a great deal of the old-world philosophy of life, viz., that it was better to be rich intellectually than materially; that was Ned's firm opinion and belief, and he was never done impressing upon us the foolishness of seeking after wealth and worldly emoluments8, and of neglecting at the same time to enrich and beautify the mind with the lore9 of the years gone by. Whether he was right or wrong I leave to my readers to decide.

There were in the forge, now and then, what I may call "impromptu10" evenings—that is, there were times when Ned, reminded of past episodes through hearing some name casually11 mentioned in our conversation, drew at random12 from his well-filled storehouse of stories one of the delightfully13 droll occurrences which he himself remembered to have happened in the neighbourhood long years before, and told it to us while he worked, without calling upon any of the aids, such as a well-filled pipe and a comfortable seat, which he called into requisition when relating one of the longer tales to which he treated us now and then.[Pg 64] On such occasions, too, he often gave out riddles14 to us that set our brains hard at work, and sang for us some of the fine songs he had learned from the old people and from the "poor scholars" in the happy evenings of the past, which he designated the "old times."

I remember one of those impromptu evenings in particular, because I thought, and think so still, that the story he told us about Johnnie Finnegan's "Degree" was as good as I had ever heard. He had just finished singing a favourite song of ours about a young Wexfordman who escaped from the Yeos in '98, and we were bestowing15 upon him our hearty16 praise and applause, when an old grumpy farmer from Knockbride, called Johnnie Finnegan, but who was best known by the nick-name of "Johnnie the Doctor," came to the forge door and asked Ned to tighten17 one of the hind18 shoes on his mare19, as he was afraid 'twould fall off before he should reach home. Ned performed the task, and when he returned to the work which he had in hand before Johnnie appeared upon the scene, some of us asked him the reason why "Johnnie the Doctor" was the name everybody had for Johnnie Finnegan.

"Did I never tell you how Johnnie got his degree?" asked Ned, with a merry twinkle in his eye.

"No, you never told us that, Ned; but now's the time for it," a couple of us answered, and the eager faces of the others signified their whole-hearted approval of our suggestion.

"Troth, you'll hear it, boys, an' welcome," said Ned, as he went on with his work. "An' it doesn't[Pg 65] take long in the tellin', though if I told it to you while Johnnie was here you'd see him in a flarin' fine temper an' the dickens a nail I'd ever get the chance o' drivin' in a shoe, or a sock I'd put on a plough for Johnnie again, because you might as well roll him in a heap o' nettles20 an' his clothes tore, as mention 'Johnnie the Doctor' an' he listenin'.

"The way it was is this. Old Jimmy Finnegan, his father, was as poor as a rat in an empty barn, an' so were all his people before him, but one day—Johnnie was the only child, an' he was no more than nine years old at the time—up comes a postman from Castletown to Jimmy Finnegan's and hands in a letter, an' when they got Master Sweeney up to read it, they found out that it was from a lawyer in America to say that a brother o' Jimmy's—Phil Finnegan—was after dyin'—a rich man—in Boston, an' that he left all his money to Jimmy, an' the letter went on to say that after the cost o' settlin' up the will 'd be took out of it, the legacy'd amount to somethin' like four thousand pounds.

"They could hardly believe the story was true, because they were nearly on the road for rent, but sure enough a cheque came to Jimmy for that whole four thousand pounds in a couple o' months after that. Well, you never saw anythin' in your life like the way Jimmy and the wife made fools o' themselves. They began to try to talk grand, an' dressed themselves up like gentry21, an' bought a car like Father Fagan's, an' wouldn't talk to the people that knew them all their lives, an' that often gave them a helpin' hand when they wanted it an' they in debt.

[Pg 66]

"Everyone, of course, was laughin' at them, an' some o' the playboys used to salute22 Jimmy for fun when they'd meet him on the road, an' Jimmy used to think they were in earnest, an' he used to put up his hand to his hat, the same as Father Fagan 'd do, an' the lads puttin' out their tongues at him behind his back. He wouldn't let Johnnie go to school the same as other gossoons, but paid Master Sweeney ten pound a year to come up an' teach him at the house, an' sure if the Master—God rest him—was alive still an' goin' up to teach Johnnie every day since, he wouldn't be a bit better nor he was when the poor Master gave him up in despair; because Johnnie was as thick as the post of a gate, every day ever, an' he's that yet.

"Well what do you think but when Johnnie was a big, soft lump of a lad of seventeen or eighteen, didn't Jimmy bring him over to old Doctor Dempsey that lived beyond near the chapel23 o' Kilfane, an' asked him to make a doctor o' the bucko, an' offered the doctor a fee o' so much a year while Johnnie 'd be learnin' the trade. Doctor Dempsey knew be the look o' the lad that he'd never be a doctor as long as there was a bill on a crow, but he was hard up for money at the time, an' didn't he take Johnnie; an' old Jimmy went home as proud as a peacock an' he boastin' an' blowin' out of him to everybody that the next doctor for the district 'd be no other than 'Doctor John Finnegan.' He used to drive over on the car every mornin' to Doctor Dempsey's an' call for him again in the evenin', an' he havin' him dressed up like a young lord or somethin'. An' sure the whole country was laughin' at them more than ever.

[Pg 67]

"Johnnie was with Doctor Dempsey for a few years, anyway, an' sure he knew as much then as he did the first day; the doctor used to bring him about the country with him on some of his visits, to give him experience, he used to tell Jimmy, but I think 'twas mostly for holdin' the horse he had him.

"One day they went to see a rich old lady that lived beyond in Moylough, an' when Doctor Dempsey was after lookin' at her tongue for awhile, an' feelin' her pulse, says he:

"'You ate oranges, ma'am,' says he.

"'I did then, sure enough, doctor,' says she.

"'Well, don't eat them again,' says he, 'an' you'll be in the best o' health.'

"Johnnie was listenin', an' his mouth opened wide with wonder, an' when they were comin' home says he to Doctor Dempsey:

"'How did you know, sir,' says he, 'that Miss Hamilton was after eatin' oranges?'

"'Oh, 'twas easy enough to know that, John,' says the doctor to him, 'because,' says he, 'when I was feelin' her pulse I looked under the bed, an' I saw the heap o' skins.'

"Johnnie kep' wonderin' all the way home at the cleverness o' the doctor, an' wonderin', too, if he'd ever get a case all to himself, so that he could show his father an' mother an' the whole country how clever he was.

"Well, anyway, in a couple o' weeks after that a gossoon came up to Doctor Dempsey's one mornin' to tell him that old Peadar Mullen o' the Bog24 was bad with the pains, an' wanted him to call over an' see[Pg 68] him. Peadar used to get pains about every fortnight, an' he was on the point o' dyin' with them—accordin' to his own opinion—about twenty times, an' he had the poor old doctor plagued sendin' for him every other week. Doctor Dempsey was a big-hearted sort of a man that was never hard on the poor, an' Peadar was that cranky an' conceited25 that he thought the doctor ought to be always runnin' over to see him, no matter about anyone else in the district. That was the sort o' Peadar.

"The doctor wasn't on for goin' near him this day, anyway, an' what do you think but he sends Johnnie, an' never said a word to him about what complaint Peadar had or anythin' only left him to find out for himself. Johnnie starts off an' the doctor's boy along with him on the car, an' it's him that was proud to think that he had a case all to himself at last, an' that he could be boastin' about it to his father an' mother that evenin' when he'd go home.

"They went down the old boreen to Peadar's house—'twas a long way in in the bog by itself, an' not a soul he had livin' with him—an' when they got over to it, Johnnie left the servant boy mindin' the horse, an' in he goes, an' sure dickens a much he could see with all the smoke that was in the house. Old Peadar was lyin' in bed in the room, an' he groanin' an' moanin' as hard as he could when he heard the doctor's car comin', because Doctor Dempsey used to give him a couple o' shillin's now an' again.

"'Doctor Dempsey can't come to-day, my good man,' says Johnnie, when he went into the room, an' he lookin' very grand an' severe an' solemn. 'He's[Pg 69] not extra well, an' he sent me in his place to see what's the matter with you.'

"'Musha, may God bless your honour for comin', Doctor Finnegan,' says Peadar, thinkin' he'd knock a few shillin's out o' Johnnie, 'an' sure maybe he sent a gentleman every bit as good as himself.'

"Johnnie didn't know what to do, but he asked Peadar to put out his tongue, an' then he felt his pulse, an' all the time he was tryin' to get a peep under the bed, the same as he saw the doctor doin' with the lady that was after eatin' the oranges. At long last he spied the straddle an' winkers belongin' to old Peadar's ass5, an' says he, shakin' his head an' lookin' at Peadar as much as to say, 'You're done for':

"'My good man,' says he, 'my good man, you ate an ass!'

"'What's that you're after sayin'?' says Peadar, lettin' a shout out o' him, an' he jumpin' up out o' the bed. 'What's that you're after sayin'?'

"'You—ate—an—ass,' says Johnnie, again, an' he shakin', when he saw the way Peadar made a grab at the big crookey stick that was lyin' across the bed.

"'G'long! you upstartin' imp1 o' the divil,' says Peadar, with a roar, an' he jumpin' out o' the bed. 'Is it a son o' Shameen Finnegan's to come into my own house an' tell me I'm a cannaball? I'll soon give you a chance o' curin' yourself instead o' comin' in to make a fool o' me an' I lyin' helpless on my bed with the pains! There's a doctor's degree for you!' an' old Peadar drew a whack26 o' the stick at Johnnie that made him roar an' run for the door as fast as his legs 'd carry him.

[Pg 70]

"Out went Peadar after him an' not a fligget on him only his shirt an' breeches, an' across the bog with them as hard as they could run until Johnnie tripped an' fell, an' old Peadar on top of him, into a dry drain. Peadar began flailin' him, an' with every thump27 o' the stick he'd give to poor Johnnie he'd shout, 'There's a doctor's degree for you! There's a doctor's degree for you!' an' only for Doctor Dempsey's boy tied the horse to a bush an' came runnin' over, it's Johnnie that 'd be bad with the pains, an' not Peadar.

"He was bad enough, in troth, when they brought him home, an' he didn't stir out o' the house for three months, but everyone said 'twas shame was on him more than the pains after Peadar's stick. That was the end of his doctorin' anyway; he never went back to Doctor Dempsey, an' the flailin' he got in the bog knocked a lot o' the nonsense out o' him an' put sense in its place, because he gave up the foolish ways, an' settled down to workin' and lookin' after the bit o' land old Jimmy was after buyin'. But from that day to this if you wanted to set him tearin' mad all you'd have to say is 'doctor,' and he'd roar like a ragin' bull.

"An' that's the way Johnnie Finnegan got his 'doctor's degree' from Peadar Mullen o' the Bog."

点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 imp Qy3yY     
n.顽童
参考例句:
  • What a little imp you are!你这个淘气包!
  • There's a little imp always running with him.他总有一个小鬼跟着。
2 reigned d99f19ecce82a94e1b24a320d3629de5     
vi.当政,统治(reign的过去式形式)
参考例句:
  • Silence reigned in the hall. 全场肃静。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • Night was deep and dead silence reigned everywhere. 夜深人静,一片死寂。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
3 droll J8Tye     
adj.古怪的,好笑的
参考例句:
  • The band have a droll sense of humour.这个乐队有一种滑稽古怪的幽默感。
  • He looked at her with a droll sort of awakening.他用一种古怪的如梦方醒的神情看着她.
4 radius LTKxp     
n.半径,半径范围;有效航程,范围,界限
参考例句:
  • He has visited every shop within a radius of two miles.周围两英里以内的店铺他都去过。
  • We are measuring the radius of the circle.我们正在测量圆的半径。
5 ass qvyzK     
n.驴;傻瓜,蠢笨的人
参考例句:
  • He is not an ass as they make him.他不象大家猜想的那样笨。
  • An ass endures his burden but not more than his burden.驴能负重但不能超过它能力所负担的。
6 calves bb808da8ca944ebdbd9f1d2688237b0b     
n.(calf的复数)笨拙的男子,腓;腿肚子( calf的名词复数 );牛犊;腓;小腿肚v.生小牛( calve的第三人称单数 );(冰川)崩解;生(小牛等),产(犊);使(冰川)崩解
参考例句:
  • a cow suckling her calves 给小牛吃奶的母牛
  • The calves are grazed intensively during their first season. 小牛在生长的第一季里集中喂养。 来自《简明英汉词典》
7 sordid PrLy9     
adj.肮脏的,不干净的,卑鄙的,暗淡的
参考例句:
  • He depicts the sordid and vulgar sides of life exclusively.他只描写人生肮脏和庸俗的一面。
  • They lived in a sordid apartment.他们住在肮脏的公寓房子里。
8 emoluments eaa2355fcb5f099421e4dac05c4aa7ec     
n.报酬,薪水( emolument的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • The emoluments of this profession is not satisfactory. 此行业的报酬不令人满意。 来自辞典例句
  • Emoluments connected with this position include free education for the children. 与这职务有关的酬劳包括为子女提供免费教育。 来自互联网
9 lore Y0YxW     
n.传说;学问,经验,知识
参考例句:
  • I will seek and question him of his lore.我倒要找上他,向他讨教他的渊博的学问。
  • Early peoples passed on plant and animal lore through legend.早期人类通过传说传递有关植物和动物的知识。
10 impromptu j4Myg     
adj.即席的,即兴的;adv.即兴的(地),无准备的(地)
参考例句:
  • The announcement was made in an impromptu press conference at the airport.这一宣布是在机场举行的临时新闻发布会上作出的。
  • The children put on an impromptu concert for the visitors.孩子们为来访者即兴献上了一场音乐会。
11 casually UwBzvw     
adv.漠不关心地,无动于衷地,不负责任地
参考例句:
  • She remarked casually that she was changing her job.她当时漫不经心地说要换工作。
  • I casually mentioned that I might be interested in working abroad.我不经意地提到我可能会对出国工作感兴趣。
12 random HT9xd     
adj.随机的;任意的;n.偶然的(或随便的)行动
参考例句:
  • The list is arranged in a random order.名单排列不分先后。
  • On random inspection the meat was found to be bad.经抽查,发现肉变质了。
13 delightfully f0fe7d605b75a4c00aae2f25714e3131     
大喜,欣然
参考例句:
  • The room is delightfully appointed. 这房子的设备令人舒适愉快。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • The evening is delightfully cool. 晚间凉爽宜人。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
14 riddles 77f3ceed32609b0d80430e545f553e31     
n.谜(语)( riddle的名词复数 );猜不透的难题,难解之谜
参考例句:
  • Few riddles collected from oral tradition, however, have all six parts. 但是据收集的情况看,口头流传的谜语很少具有这完整的六部分。 来自英汉非文学 - 民俗
  • But first, you'd better see if you can answer riddles. 但是你首先最好想想你会不会猜谜语。 来自辞典例句
15 bestowing ec153f37767cf4f7ef2c4afd6905b0fb     
砖窑中砖堆上层已烧透的砖
参考例句:
  • Apollo, you see, is bestowing the razor on the Triptolemus of our craft. 你瞧,阿波罗正在把剃刀赠给我们这项手艺的特里泼托勒默斯。
  • What thanks do we not owe to Heaven for thus bestowing tranquillity, health and competence! 我们要谢谢上苍,赐我们的安乐、健康和饱暖。
16 hearty Od1zn     
adj.热情友好的;衷心的;尽情的,纵情的
参考例句:
  • After work they made a hearty meal in the worker's canteen.工作完了,他们在工人食堂饱餐了一顿。
  • We accorded him a hearty welcome.我们给他热忱的欢迎。
17 tighten 9oYwI     
v.(使)变紧;(使)绷紧
参考例句:
  • Turn the screw to the right to tighten it.向右转动螺钉把它拧紧。
  • Some countries tighten monetary policy to avoid inflation.一些国家实行紧缩银根的货币政策,以避免通货膨胀。
18 hind Cyoya     
adj.后面的,后部的
参考例句:
  • The animal is able to stand up on its hind limbs.这种动物能够用后肢站立。
  • Don't hind her in her studies.不要在学业上扯她后腿。
19 mare Y24y3     
n.母马,母驴
参考例句:
  • The mare has just thrown a foal in the stable.那匹母马刚刚在马厩里产下了一只小马驹。
  • The mare foundered under the heavy load and collapsed in the road.那母马因负载过重而倒在路上。
20 nettles 820f41b2406934cd03676362b597a2fe     
n.荨麻( nettle的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • I tingle where I sat in the nettles. 我坐过在荨麻上的那个部位觉得刺痛。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • This bleak place overgrown with nettles was the churchyard. 那蔓草丛生的凄凉地方是教堂公墓。 来自辞典例句
21 gentry Ygqxe     
n.绅士阶级,上层阶级
参考例句:
  • Landed income was the true measure of the gentry.来自土地的收入是衡量是否士绅阶层的真正标准。
  • Better be the head of the yeomanry than the tail of the gentry.宁做自由民之首,不居贵族之末。
22 salute rYzx4     
vi.行礼,致意,问候,放礼炮;vt.向…致意,迎接,赞扬;n.招呼,敬礼,礼炮
参考例句:
  • Merchant ships salute each other by dipping the flag.商船互相点旗致敬。
  • The Japanese women salute the people with formal bows in welcome.这些日本妇女以正式的鞠躬向人们施礼以示欢迎。
23 chapel UXNzg     
n.小教堂,殡仪馆
参考例句:
  • The nimble hero,skipped into a chapel that stood near.敏捷的英雄跳进近旁的一座小教堂里。
  • She was on the peak that Sunday afternoon when she played in chapel.那个星期天的下午,她在小教堂的演出,可以说是登峰造极。
24 bog QtfzF     
n.沼泽;室...陷入泥淖
参考例句:
  • We were able to pass him a rope before the bog sucked him under.我们终于得以在沼泽把他吞没前把绳子扔给他。
  • The path goes across an area of bog.这条小路穿过一片沼泽。
25 conceited Cv0zxi     
adj.自负的,骄傲自满的
参考例句:
  • He could not bear that they should be so conceited.他们这样自高自大他受不了。
  • I'm not as conceited as so many people seem to think.我不像很多人认为的那么自负。
26 whack kMKze     
v.敲击,重打,瓜分;n.重击,重打,尝试,一份
参考例句:
  • After years of dieting,Carol's metabolism was completely out of whack.经过数年的节食,卡罗尔的新陈代谢完全紊乱了。
  • He gave me a whack on the back to wake me up.他为把我弄醒,在我背上猛拍一下。
27 thump sq2yM     
v.重击,砰然地响;n.重击,重击声
参考例句:
  • The thief hit him a thump on the head.贼在他的头上重击一下。
  • The excitement made her heart thump.她兴奋得心怦怦地跳。


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