"I say," proposed the red-headed chief, "what a capital idea if we had a ball in your house some evening when they're away."
Between my eldest3 sister and me were two little maids, less of the rascal4 and less of the saint than either of us. Pauline, the teller5 of wonderful tales at Lysterby, seized upon the notion with avidity. A ball! our own ball, given[Pg 220] by ourselves, and all the vagrant6 band between the dances refreshed by our ingenious efforts and exploits! It was a grand idea. How we clapped our hands, danced, and stamped our feet in the exuberance7 of content.
At first Saint Agnes demurred8. She, after all, was the head of the house by deputy. Not only was she responsible for our immortal9 souls, but for our fragile bodies; above all, was she responsible for the state of the larder10. It was she who told the servant what to order at the general grocer; she who drew attention to the condition of the cellar, in provision for the horde11 of Sunday visitors, and the interminable file of eager friends who made a point of inquiring after the health of my parents and their progeny12 on band nights.
You never understand how extremely popular you are until you are in a position to entertain at a pleasant seaside resort, within easy distance of the metropolis13, where a fashionable gathering14 meets twice a-week to listen to the evening band, and where there are regattas. The most distant acquaintance suddenly remembers that he is your dearest friend. Troops invade your garden; your drawing-room is never empty. Shoals devour16 the refreshments17 of your [Pg 221]dining-room. At ten o'clock, when you are on the point of barricading18 your too hospitable19 doors, men arrive cheerily to bid you the time of day, and claim a whisky-and-soda. I speak of Dublin, naturally, where, as a rule, we begin our afternoon calls at midnight, and where the early awakened20 lark21 is safe to find us snoring. Inhabit that same seaside place in winter, and even your dearest friend will forget to remember that he knows you. Irish hospitality is justly famous. There is nothing to match it on the face of the earth. But Irish abuse of hospitality is, perhaps, insufficiently22 recorded, and there is nothing more speedily forgotten than the unlimited23 favours of "open house."
My parents kept "open house" with a vengeance24, which is the reason to-day that none of us possess the needful sixpence to jingle25 on the traditional tombstone. It was the reason also that, when our ball came off, we children were in a position to offer our thirty or forty miniature guests flowing bowls of innocuous lemonade by the dozens, ham-sandwiches, boxes of Huntley & Palmer's biscuits, baskets of apples purchased by the hundred by my stepfather from his friend the judge, whose orchards26 we daily pillaged27. There was also claret and soda-water, and even[Pg 222] genial28 port and sherry, for that portion of the community we regarded as "the grown-up,"—Arthur, the red-headed boy, Saint Agnes, Pauline, and a few others of both sexes.
We discovered that my parents designed to sit out a play on a certain evening, which meant that they would never give themselves the trouble to catch the last train, and would sleep in town. Invitations were instantly despatched, Saint Agnes giving her consent reluctantly, but young enough to enjoy the prospect29 of the escapade. The ball was to open as soon as possible after the seven o'clock tea, for at Dalkey, in those days, all the children dined at two o'clock and sat down at seven to a meal of tea and bread-and-butter, with barmbrack and buttered toast on high holidays.
By eight o'clock the long drawing-room was full. We lit the clusters of tapers30 round the walls, which were reserved for the pleasures of our elders. The gas flared31 in every jet of the big chandelier. You might have fancied we were celebrating a Royal birthday, such was the brilliancy of our illuminated32 ball-room. Arthur had brought down, before tea, bunches of flowers from his father's hothouse, and Saint Agnes[Pg 223] was ever a veritable witch in the arrangement of flowers.
The red-haired chief, as master of the ceremonies, wore a huge peony in his buttonhole, and with what gusto he marshalled us about, told off couples, and shouted "Lancers now," or "Look out now, the Caledonian Quadrille." Three quaint15 little girls had been allowed to come with their governess, who entered heartily33 into the spirit of the thing, and never left the piano. Quadrille after polka, waltz after schottische, "Sir Roger de Coverley," mazurka, and gallop34. And, between the dances, what riotous35 fun, when we cast ourselves upon the refreshments, and noisy boys risked death and assassination36 as they opened lemonade and soda-water bottles with a splendid flourish! Our elders might drink themselves to frenzy37 on whisky and yet remain more sober than we were as we capered38 and laughed and quaffed39 big draughts40 of harmless fluid. And the sandwiches we ate, the biscuits and apples we devoured41, the bread-and-butter we munched42, and flick43, flack! there was Miss Montgomery at the piano, and dozens of little feet were again twinkling about the floor.
I, proud being, danced twice with Arthur. We floundered in amazing fashion through a set of Lancers, the master of ceremonies shouting the while indignantly at our heels. And later he invited me to go through some mysterious measure he called a gallop, which consisted in a wild charge for the other end of the room, helter-skelter, couples knocking each other down delightedly, rolling over each other, and picking one another up in the best of tempers.
And then, as we mopped our faces, and drank lemonade, somebody proposed that I should give an imitation of Mr. Parker. Arthur and I were the only travelled personages of the assembly. He had been to Eton and I had been to Lysterby, and it was his slightly sarcastic44 voice that determined45 me. "Oh, I say, by all means. I hear he was a capital fellow that dancing-master of yours, and you do him to a T."
To prove that I did, I began the chassé-croisé, to the tune46 of an imaginary violin, chanting Nora Creina, amid shrieks47 of approbation48. How often since have my friends lamented49 my missed vocation50! On the stage, whether actress or dancer, my fortune would long ago have been made, and as an acrobat51 I should have won glory in my teens. But old-fashioned parents never think of these things. If you are a girl, and fortune forsakes52 the domestic hearth53, they tell you to go and be a governess, and bless your stars that, thanks to their good sense, you are enabled to earn a miserable54 crust in the path of respectability. When they find a child with extraordinary mimic55 capacities, an abnormal physical suppleness56, and a passion for the ballet, it does not occur to them that it would be wiser and more humane57 to seek to turn these advantages to some account, instead of condemning58 the little wretch59 to future misery60 and self-effacement as a governess.
Pauline, who knew every moment of the famous Mr. Parker by heart, wandered out into the front garden with a lad of her own age to look at the stars and talk of their ideal. It was a few minutes after the hourly train from Dublin stopped at Dalkey, and as they sat on the wall discussing their favourite book of the hour, Manzoni's "Betrothed," they saw a large and lofty figure steadily61 approach the gate. Good heavens! It was my mother. Pauline was a creature of resource, and she had some understanding of that formidable person.
"Quick, quick, Eddie," she whispered. "Run in and tell Agnes to get them all out by the pantry window, which shows into the laneway. I'll keep mamma outside talking about the stars."
Effectively, when my mother opened the gate, she encountered the solemn sentimental62 regard of a student of the stars. Nothing enchanted63 my mother more than an unexpected revelation of intelligence in one of her children. She was a woman of colossal64 intelligence, of wide knowledge, a brilliant talker, and at all times, whatever her temper, you could put her instantly into good-humour, and wean her thoughts from the irritating themes of daily life, by addressing yourself to her intellect, and speaking of remote subjects like the constellations65, South Africa, the Federal war, Belgian farming, or the German Empire. She knew everything, was interested in everything, had read everything, could talk like a specialist on any given subject, except mathematics and metaphysics, which she professed66 to hold in contempt. Another mother would have been staggered to find a girl of thirteen alone beneath the new-lit stars; but my mother found nothing at all odd in being begged to deliver a lecture on astronomy at that hour, and fell into the trap with ingenuous67 fervour.
And now I beseech68 you to conceive the scene inside. Ten minutes to clear the house of some[Pg 227] thirty excited children, obliged to make a precipitous exit through a narrow pantry window, stifling69 with hysterical70 laughter, and in danger of breaking their limbs upon the hard ground as they dropped into the lane that ran alongside the garden into the highroad. Ten minutes to clear the drawing-room of empty bottles and glasses and plates, and put the chairs and tables and couches into order. Ten minutes for us to scamper71 up-stairs, and get into our night-gear in the dark. Good Lord! what fun! One would willingly endure again the thrashing for those ten brave minutes of fire and fury.
"It was grand!" said Arthur next day to Pauline, after he had tried in vain to look woe-begone over our castigation72.
Only the body of the red-headed chief rebelled against the limited space of the pantry window. What puffing73 and blowing and pushing to get his fat carcass through! "Steady!" shouted the servant, Bridget, a big-boned country girl; and with a bound she ran head-foremost like a charging bull, who meditates74 the destruction of his enemy. A crash outside, and we thrust anxious heads out of the window to ascertain75 if the unfortunate youth lay in pieces upon the ground. But no; with smothered76 laughter he was tearing down the lane for dear life.
With the last evidences of our feast effaced77 from view, we little ones trod on each other's heels in our flight up-stairs, and staid Agnes went outside, by the way, to induce her mooning sister to go to bed. She simulated the necessary surprise and delight on beholding78 my mother, and after a few more words upon the heavenly spheres, the three entered the house, now cast, as Agnes fondly believed, into complete darkness.
My mother carelessly explaining why she had decided79 at the last minute not to sleep in town, turned the handle of the drawing-room door. The tapers, forgotten in the fray80, blazed away in all their fatal admission, though the gas of the chandelier had been duly extinguished. The result was that soon the heavenly spheres were round about us instead of on high. Agnes and Pauline rapidly were made to see stars elsewhere than in the sky. When they lay prone81 and prostrate82, not sure that their members were whole, up offended majesty83 came to us, shivering in our night-dresses. What did it all mean? she wanted to know. Empty bottles heaped up in the pantry corner, a ham vanished, tin boxes empty of their layers of biscuits, knives, plates, glasses, in tell-tale disarray84, a broken pane85 in the pantry window.
We had had our fun, and now came the bad quarter of the hour, when we were expected to pay the bill in beaten flesh. How our ears tingled86, our cheeks pained, our heads ached, and our arms smarted! You see it was a very long account, and it took a good deal of blows to make it up. But even the most infuriated creditor87 is appeased88 in the long-run, when the gathering in of his dues implies the excessive expenditure89 of nerve and muscle as such a scene as that of our castigation. The strongest woman cannot beat a half-dozen of children throughout an entire night, and my mother retired90, pleased to regard her life in danger by a consequent fit of nervous exhaustion91 and blood to the head.
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1
disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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bosoms
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| 胸部( bosom的名词复数 )； 胸怀； 女衣胸部（或胸襟）； 和爱护自己的人在一起的情形 | |
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3
eldest
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| adj.最年长的，最年老的 | |
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rascal
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| n.流氓；不诚实的人 | |
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5
teller
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| n.银行出纳员；(选举)计票员 | |
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vagrant
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| n.流浪者，游民；adj.流浪的，漂泊不定的 | |
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exuberance
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| n.丰富；繁荣 | |
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demurred
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| v.表示异议，反对( demur的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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9
immortal
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| adj.不朽的；永生的，不死的；神的 | |
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10
larder
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| n.食物贮藏室，食品橱 | |
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horde
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| n.群众，一大群 | |
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progeny
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| n.后代，子孙；结果 | |
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metropolis
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| n.首府；大城市 | |
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gathering
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| n.集会，聚会，聚集 | |
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quaint
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| adj.古雅的，离奇有趣的，奇怪的 | |
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devour
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| v.吞没；贪婪地注视或谛听，贪读；使着迷 | |
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17
refreshments
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| n.点心,便餐;(会议后的)简单茶点招 待 | |
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18
barricading
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| 设路障于，以障碍物阻塞( barricade的现在分词 )； 设路障[防御工事]保卫或固守 | |
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19
hospitable
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| adj.好客的；宽容的；有利的，适宜的 | |
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20
awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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21
lark
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| n.云雀，百灵鸟；n.嬉戏，玩笑；vi.嬉戏 | |
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22
insufficiently
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| adv.不够地，不能胜任地 | |
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23
unlimited
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| adj.无限的，不受控制的，无条件的 | |
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24
vengeance
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| n.报复，报仇，复仇 | |
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25
jingle
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| n.叮当声，韵律简单的诗句；v.使叮当作响，叮当响，押韵 | |
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26
orchards
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| （通常指围起来的）果园( orchard的名词复数 ) | |
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pillaged
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| v.抢劫，掠夺( pillage的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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genial
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| adj.亲切的，和蔼的，愉快的，脾气好的 | |
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prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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30
tapers
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| （长形物体的）逐渐变窄( taper的名词复数 )； 微弱的光； 极细的蜡烛 | |
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31
Flared
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| adj. 端部张开的, 爆发的, 加宽的, 漏斗式的 动词flare的过去式和过去分词 | |
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32
illuminated
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| adj.被照明的；受启迪的 | |
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heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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34
gallop
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| v./n.(马或骑马等)飞奔；飞速发展 | |
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35
riotous
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| adj.骚乱的；狂欢的 | |
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assassination
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| n.暗杀；暗杀事件 | |
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37
frenzy
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| n.疯狂，狂热，极度的激动 | |
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38
capered
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| v.跳跃，雀跃( caper的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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39
quaffed
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| v.痛饮( quaff的过去式和过去分词 )；畅饮；大口大口将…喝干；一饮而尽 | |
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40
draughts
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| n. <英>国际跳棋 | |
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41
devoured
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| 吞没( devour的过去式和过去分词 )； 耗尽； 津津有味地看； 狼吞虎咽地吃光 | |
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42
munched
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| v.用力咀嚼（某物），大嚼( munch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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43
flick
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| n.快速的轻打，轻打声，弹开；v.轻弹，轻轻拂去，忽然摇动 | |
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44
sarcastic
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| adj.讥讽的，讽刺的，嘲弄的 | |
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45
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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46
tune
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| n.调子；和谐，协调；v.调音，调节，调整 | |
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47
shrieks
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| n.尖叫声( shriek的名词复数 )v.尖叫( shriek的第三人称单数 ) | |
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48
approbation
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| n.称赞；认可 | |
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49
lamented
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| adj.被哀悼的，令人遗憾的v.（为…）哀悼，痛哭，悲伤( lament的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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50
vocation
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| n.职业，行业 | |
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51
acrobat
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| n.特技演员，杂技演员 | |
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52
forsakes
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| 放弃( forsake的第三人称单数 )； 弃绝； 抛弃； 摒弃 | |
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53
hearth
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| n.壁炉炉床，壁炉地面 | |
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54
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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55
mimic
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| v.模仿，戏弄；n.模仿他人言行的人 | |
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56
suppleness
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| 柔软； 灵活； 易弯曲； 顺从 | |
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57
humane
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| adj.人道的，富有同情心的 | |
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58
condemning
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| v.（通常因道义上的原因而）谴责( condemn的现在分词 )；宣判；宣布…不能使用；迫使…陷于不幸的境地 | |
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59
wretch
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| n.可怜的人，不幸的人；卑鄙的人 | |
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60
misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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61
steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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62
sentimental
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| adj.多愁善感的，感伤的 | |
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63
enchanted
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| adj. 被施魔法的，陶醉的，入迷的 动词enchant的过去式和过去分词 | |
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64
colossal
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| adj.异常的，庞大的 | |
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65
constellations
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| n.星座( constellation的名词复数 )；一群杰出人物；一系列（相关的想法、事物）；一群（相关的人） | |
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66
professed
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| 公开声称的，伪称的，已立誓信教的 | |
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67
ingenuous
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| adj.纯朴的，单纯的；天真的；坦率的 | |
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68
beseech
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| v.祈求，恳求 | |
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69
stifling
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| a.令人窒息的 | |
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70
hysterical
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| adj.情绪异常激动的，歇斯底里般的 | |
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71
scamper
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| v.奔跑，快跑 | |
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72
castigation
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| n.申斥，强烈反对 | |
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73
puffing
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| v.使喷出( puff的现在分词 )；喷着汽（或烟）移动；吹嘘；吹捧 | |
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74
meditates
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| 深思，沉思，冥想( meditate的第三人称单数 )； 内心策划，考虑 | |
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75
ascertain
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| vt.发现，确定，查明，弄清 | |
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76
smothered
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| （使）窒息， （使）透不过气( smother的过去式和过去分词 )； 覆盖； 忍住； 抑制 | |
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77
effaced
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| v.擦掉( efface的过去式和过去分词 )；抹去；超越；使黯然失色 | |
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78
beholding
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| v.看，注视( behold的现在分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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79
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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80
fray
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| v.争吵；打斗；磨损，磨破；n.吵架；打斗 | |
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81
prone
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| adj.(to)易于…的，很可能…的；俯卧的 | |
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82
prostrate
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| v.拜倒，平卧，衰竭；adj.拜倒的，平卧的，衰竭的 | |
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83
majesty
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| n.雄伟，壮丽，庄严，威严；最高权威，王权 | |
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84
disarray
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| n.混乱，紊乱，凌乱 | |
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85
pane
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| n.窗格玻璃，长方块 | |
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86
tingled
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| v.有刺痛感( tingle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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87
creditor
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| n.债仅人，债主，贷方 | |
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88
appeased
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| 安抚，抚慰( appease的过去式和过去分词 )； 绥靖（满足另一国的要求以避免战争） | |
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89
expenditure
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| n.(时间、劳力、金钱等)支出；使用，消耗 | |
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90
retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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91
exhaustion
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| n.耗尽枯竭，疲惫，筋疲力尽，竭尽，详尽无遗的论述 | |
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