I was so far in my reflections when, as I have said, a side light began to shine upon the subject from the laboratory table. I began to perceive more deeply than it has ever yet been stated, the trembling immateriality, the mistlike transience, of this seemingly so solid body in which we walk attired36. Certain agents I found to have the power to shake and pluck back that fleshly vestment, even as a wind might toss the curtains of a pavilion. For two good reasons, I will not enter deeply into this scientific branch of my confession37. First, because I have been made to learn that the doom23 and burthen of our life is bound for ever on man’s shoulders, and when the attempt is made to cast it off, it but returns upon us with more unfamiliar38 and more awful pressure. Second, because, as my narrative39 will make, alas40! too evident, my discoveries were incomplete. Enough then, that I not only recognised my natural body from the mere aura and effulgence41 of certain of the powers that made up my spirit, but managed to compound a drug by which these powers should be dethroned from their supremacy42, and a second form and countenance substituted, none the less natural to me because they were the expression, and bore the stamp of lower elements in my soul.
I hesitated long before I put this theory to the test of practice. I knew well that I risked death; for any drug that so potently43 controlled and shook the very fortress44 of identity, might, by the least scruple45 of an overdose or at the least inopportunity in the moment of exhibition, utterly46 blot47 out that immaterial tabernacle which I looked to it to change. But the temptation of a discovery so singular and profound at last overcame the suggestions of alarm. I had long since prepared my tincture; I purchased at once, from a firm of wholesale48 chemists, a large quantity of a particular salt which I knew, from my experiments, to be the last ingredient required; and late one accursed night, I compounded the elements, watched them boil and smoke together in the glass, and when the ebullition had subsided50, with a strong glow of courage, drank off the potion.
The most racking pangs51 succeeded: a grinding in the bones, deadly nausea52, and a horror of the spirit that cannot be exceeded at the hour of birth or death. Then these agonies began swiftly to subside49, and I came to myself as if out of a great sickness. There was something strange in my sensations, something indescribably new and, from its very novelty, incredibly sweet. I felt younger, lighter53, happier in body; within I was conscious of a heady recklessness, a current of disordered sensual images running like a millrace in my fancy, a solution of the bonds of obligation, an unknown but not an innocent freedom of the soul. I knew myself, at the first breath of this new life, to be more wicked, tenfold more wicked, sold a slave to my original evil; and the thought, in that moment, braced54 and delighted me like wine. I stretched out my hands, exulting55 in the freshness of these sensations; and in the act, I was suddenly aware that I had lost in stature56.
There was no mirror, at that date, in my room; that which stands beside me as I write, was brought there later on and for the very purpose of these transformations57. The night however, was far gone into the morning—the morning, black as it was, was nearly ripe for the conception of the day—the inmates59 of my house were locked in the most rigorous hours of slumber60; and I determined61, flushed as I was with hope and triumph, to venture in my new shape as far as to my bedroom. I crossed the yard, wherein the constellations62 looked down upon me, I could have thought, with wonder, the first creature of that sort that their unsleeping vigilance had yet disclosed to them; I stole through the corridors, a stranger in my own house; and coming to my room, I saw for the first time the appearance of Edward Hyde.
I must here speak by theory alone, saying not that which I know, but that which I suppose to be most probable. The evil side of my nature, to which I had now transferred the stamping efficacy, was less robust63 and less developed than the good which I had just deposed64. Again, in the course of my life, which had been, after all, nine tenths a life of effort, virtue65 and control, it had been much less exercised and much less exhausted66. And hence, as I think, it came about that Edward Hyde was so much smaller, slighter and younger than Henry Jekyll. Even as good shone upon the countenance of the one, evil was written broadly and plainly on the face of the other. Evil besides (which I must still believe to be the lethal67 side of man) had left on that body an imprint68 of deformity and decay. And yet when I looked upon that ugly idol69 in the glass, I was conscious of no repugnance70, rather of a leap of welcome. This, too, was myself. It seemed natural and human. In my eyes it bore a livelier image of the spirit, it seemed more express and single, than the imperfect and divided countenance I had been hitherto accustomed to call mine. And in so far I was doubtless right. I have observed that when I wore the semblance71 of Edward Hyde, none could come near to me at first without a visible misgiving72 of the flesh. This, as I take it, was because all human beings, as we meet them, are commingled73 out of good and evil: and Edward Hyde, alone in the ranks of mankind, was pure evil.
I lingered but a moment at the mirror: the second and conclusive74 experiment had yet to be attempted; it yet remained to be seen if I had lost my identity beyond redemption and must flee before daylight from a house that was no longer mine; and hurrying back to my cabinet, I once more prepared and drank the cup, once more suffered the pangs of dissolution, and came to myself once more with the character, the stature and the face of Henry Jekyll.
That night I had come to the fatal cross-roads. Had I approached my discovery in a more noble spirit, had I risked the experiment while under the empire of generous or pious76 aspirations, all must have been otherwise, and from these agonies of death and birth, I had come forth77 an angel instead of a fiend. The drug had no discriminating78 action; it was neither diabolical79 nor divine; it but shook the doors of the prisonhouse of my disposition; and like the captives of Philippi, that which stood within ran forth. At that time my virtue slumbered80; my evil, kept awake by ambition, was alert and swift to seize the occasion; and the thing that was projected was Edward Hyde. Hence, although I had now two characters as well as two appearances, one was wholly evil, and the other was still the old Henry Jekyll, that incongruous compound of whose reformation and improvement I had already learned to despair. The movement was thus wholly toward the worse.
Even at that time, I had not conquered my aversions to the dryness of a life of study. I would still be merrily disposed at times; and as my pleasures were (to say the least) undignified, and I was not only well known and highly considered, but growing towards the elderly man, this incoherency of my life was daily growing more unwelcome. It was on this side that my new power tempted75 me until I fell in slavery. I had but to drink the cup, to doff81 at once the body of the noted82 professor, and to assume, like a thick cloak, that of Edward Hyde. I smiled at the notion; it seemed to me at the time to be humourous; and I made my preparations with the most studious care. I took and furnished that house in Soho, to which Hyde was tracked by the police; and engaged as a housekeeper83 a creature whom I knew well to be silent and unscrupulous. On the other side, I announced to my servants that a Mr. Hyde (whom I described) was to have full liberty and power about my house in the square; and to parry mishaps84, I even called and made myself a familiar object, in my second character. I next drew up that will to which you so much objected; so that if anything befell me in the person of Dr. Jekyll, I could enter on that of Edward Hyde without pecuniary85 loss. And thus fortified86, as I supposed, on every side, I began to profit by the strange immunities87 of my position.
Men have before hired bravos to transact88 their crimes, while their own person and reputation sat under shelter. I was the first that ever did so for his pleasures. I was the first that could plod89 in the public eye with a load of genial90 respectability, and in a moment, like a schoolboy, strip off these lendings and spring headlong into the sea of liberty. But for me, in my impenetrable mantle91, the safety was complete. Think of it—I did not even exist! Let me but escape into my laboratory door, give me but a second or two to mix and swallow the draught92 that I had always standing93 ready; and whatever he had done, Edward Hyde would pass away like the stain of breath upon a mirror; and there in his stead, quietly at home, trimming the midnight lamp in his study, a man who could afford to laugh at suspicion, would be Henry Jekyll.
The pleasures which I made haste to seek in my disguise were, as I have said, undignified; I would scarce use a harder term. But in the hands of Edward Hyde, they soon began to turn toward the monstrous94. When I would come back from these excursions, I was often plunged into a kind of wonder at my vicarious depravity. This familiar that I called out of my own soul, and sent forth alone to do his good pleasure, was a being inherently malign95 and villainous; his every act and thought centered on self; drinking pleasure with bestial96 avidity from any degree of torture to another; relentless97 like a man of stone. Henry Jekyll stood at times aghast before the acts of Edward Hyde; but the situation was apart from ordinary laws, and insidiously98 relaxed the grasp of conscience. It was Hyde, after all, and Hyde alone, that was guilty. Jekyll was no worse; he woke again to his good qualities seemingly unimpaired; he would even make haste, where it was possible, to undo99 the evil done by Hyde. And thus his conscience slumbered.
Into the details of the infamy100 at which I thus connived101 (for even now I can scarce grant that I committed it) I have no design of entering; I mean but to point out the warnings and the successive steps with which my chastisement102 approached. I met with one accident which, as it brought on no consequence, I shall no more than mention. An act of cruelty to a child aroused against me the anger of a passer-by, whom I recognised the other day in the person of your kinsman103; the doctor and the child’s family joined him; there were moments when I feared for my life; and at last, in order to pacify104 their too just resentment105, Edward Hyde had to bring them to the door, and pay them in a cheque drawn106 in the name of Henry Jekyll. But this danger was easily eliminated from the future, by opening an account at another bank in the name of Edward Hyde himself; and when, by sloping my own hand backward, I had supplied my double with a signature, I thought I sat beyond the reach of fate.
Some two months before the murder of Sir Danvers, I had been out for one of my adventures, had returned at a late hour, and woke the next day in bed with somewhat odd sensations. It was in vain I looked about me; in vain I saw the decent furniture and tall proportions of my room in the square; in vain that I recognised the pattern of the bed curtains and the design of the mahogany frame; something still kept insisting that I was not where I was, that I had not wakened where I seemed to be, but in the little room in Soho where I was accustomed to sleep in the body of Edward Hyde. I smiled to myself, and in my psychological way, began lazily to inquire into the elements of this illusion, occasionally, even as I did so, dropping back into a comfortable morning doze107. I was still so engaged when, in one of my more wakeful moments, my eyes fell upon my hand. Now the hand of Henry Jekyll (as you have often remarked) was professional in shape and size: it was large, firm, white and comely108. But the hand which I now saw, clearly enough, in the yellow light of a mid-London morning, lying half shut on the bedclothes, was lean, corder, knuckly109, of a dusky pallor and thickly shaded with a swart growth of hair. It was the hand of Edward Hyde.
I must have stared upon it for near half a minute, sunk as I was in the mere stupidity of wonder, before terror woke up in my breast as sudden and startling as the crash of cymbals110; and bounding from my bed I rushed to the mirror. At the sight that met my eyes, my blood was changed into something exquisitely111 thin and icy. Yes, I had gone to bed Henry Jekyll, I had awakened112 Edward Hyde. How was this to be explained? I asked myself; and then, with another bound of terror—how was it to be remedied? It was well on in the morning; the servants were up; all my drugs were in the cabinet—a long journey down two pairs of stairs, through the back passage, across the open court and through the anatomical theatre, from where I was then standing horror-struck. It might indeed be possible to cover my face; but of what use was that, when I was unable to conceal5 the alteration113 in my stature? And then with an overpowering sweetness of relief, it came back upon my mind that the servants were already used to the coming and going of my second self. I had soon dressed, as well as I was able, in clothes of my own size: had soon passed through the house, where Bradshaw stared and drew back at seeing Mr. Hyde at such an hour and in such a strange array; and ten minutes later, Dr. Jekyll had returned to his own shape and was sitting down, with a darkened brow, to make a feint of breakfasting.
Small indeed was my appetite. This inexplicable114 incident, this reversal of my previous experience, seemed, like the Babylonian finger on the wall, to be spelling out the letters of my judgment115; and I began to reflect more seriously than ever before on the issues and possibilities of my double existence. That part of me which I had the power of projecting, had lately been much exercised and nourished; it had seemed to me of late as though the body of Edward Hyde had grown in stature, as though (when I wore that form) I were conscious of a more generous tide of blood; and I began to spy a danger that, if this were much prolonged, the balance of my nature might be permanently116 overthrown117, the power of voluntary change be forfeited119, and the character of Edward Hyde become irrevocably mine. The power of the drug had not been always equally displayed. Once, very early in my career, it had totally failed me; since then I had been obliged on more than one occasion to double, and once, with infinite risk of death, to treble the amount; and these rare uncertainties120 had cast hitherto the sole shadow on my contentment. Now, however, and in the light of that morning’s accident, I was led to remark that whereas, in the beginning, the difficulty had been to throw off the body of Jekyll, it had of late gradually but decidedly transferred itself to the other side. All things therefore seemed to point to this; that I was slowly losing hold of my original and better self, and becoming slowly incorporated with my second and worse.
Between these two, I now felt I had to choose. My two natures had memory in common, but all other faculties121 were most unequally shared between them. Jekyll (who was composite) now with the most sensitive apprehensions122, now with a greedy gusto, projected and shared in the pleasures and adventures of Hyde; but Hyde was indifferent to Jekyll, or but remembered him as the mountain bandit remembers the cavern124 in which he conceals125 himself from pursuit. Jekyll had more than a father’s interest; Hyde had more than a son’s indifference126. To cast in my lot with Jekyll, was to die to those appetites which I had long secretly indulged and had of late begun to pamper127. To cast it in with Hyde, was to die to a thousand interests and aspirations, and to become, at a blow and forever, despised and friendless. The bargain might appear unequal; but there was still another consideration in the scales; for while Jekyll would suffer smartingly in the fires of abstinence, Hyde would be not even conscious of all that he had lost. Strange as my circumstances were, the terms of this debate are as old and commonplace as man; much the same inducements and alarms cast the die for any tempted and trembling sinner; and it fell out with me, as it falls with so vast a majority of my fellows, that I chose the better part and was found wanting in the strength to keep to it.
Yes, I preferred the elderly and discontented doctor, surrounded by friends and cherishing honest hopes; and bade a resolute128 farewell to the liberty, the comparative youth, the light step, leaping impulses and secret pleasures, that I had enjoyed in the disguise of Hyde. I made this choice perhaps with some unconscious reservation, for I neither gave up the house in Soho, nor destroyed the clothes of Edward Hyde, which still lay ready in my cabinet. For two months, however, I was true to my determination; for two months, I led a life of such severity as I had never before attained129 to, and enjoyed the compensations of an approving conscience. But time began at last to obliterate130 the freshness of my alarm; the praises of conscience began to grow into a thing of course; I began to be tortured with throes and longings131, as of Hyde struggling after freedom; and at last, in an hour of moral weakness, I once again compounded and swallowed the transforming draught.
I do not suppose that, when a drunkard reasons with himself upon his vice132, he is once out of five hundred times affected133 by the dangers that he runs through his brutish, physical insensibility; neither had I, long as I had considered my position, made enough allowance for the complete moral insensibility and insensate readiness to evil, which were the leading characters of Edward Hyde. Yet it was by these that I was punished. My devil had been long caged, he came out roaring. I was conscious, even when I took the draught, of a more unbridled, a more furious propensity134 to ill. It must have been this, I suppose, that stirred in my soul that tempest of impatience135 with which I listened to the civilities of my unhappy victim; I declare, at least, before God, no man morally sane136 could have been guilty of that crime upon so pitiful a provocation137; and that I struck in no more reasonable spirit than that in which a sick child may break a plaything. But I had voluntarily stripped myself of all those balancing instincts by which even the worst of us continues to walk with some degree of steadiness among temptations; and in my case, to be tempted, however slightly, was to fall.
Instantly the spirit of hell awoke in me and raged. With a transport of glee, I mauled the unresisting body, tasting delight from every blow; and it was not till weariness had begun to succeed, that I was suddenly, in the top fit of my delirium138, struck through the heart by a cold thrill of terror. A mist dispersed139; I saw my life to be forfeit118; and fled from the scene of these excesses, at once glorying and trembling, my lust140 of evil gratified and stimulated141, my love of life screwed to the topmost peg142. I ran to the house in Soho, and (to make assurance doubly sure) destroyed my papers; thence I set out through the lamplit streets, in the same divided ecstasy143 of mind, gloating on my crime, light-headedly devising others in the future, and yet still hastening and still hearkening in my wake for the steps of the avenger144. Hyde had a song upon his lips as he compounded the draught, and as he drank it, pledged the dead man. The pangs of transformation58 had not done tearing him, before Henry Jekyll, with streaming tears of gratitude145 and remorse, had fallen upon his knees and lifted his clasped hands to God. The veil of self-indulgence was rent from head to foot. I saw my life as a whole: I followed it up from the days of childhood, when I had walked with my father’s hand, and through the self-denying toils146 of my professional life, to arrive again and again, with the same sense of unreality, at the damned horrors of the evening. I could have screamed aloud; I sought with tears and prayers to smother147 down the crowd of hideous148 images and sounds with which my memory swarmed149 against me; and still, between the petitions, the ugly face of my iniquity150 stared into my soul. As the acuteness of this remorse began to die away, it was succeeded by a sense of joy. The problem of my conduct was solved. Hyde was thenceforth impossible; whether I would or not, I was now confined to the better part of my existence; and O, how I rejoiced to think of it! with what willing humility151 I embraced anew the restrictions152 of natural life! with what sincere renunciation I locked the door by which I had so often gone and come, and ground the key under my heel!
The next day, came the news that the murder had not been overlooked, that the guilt8 of Hyde was patent to the world, and that the victim was a man high in public estimation. It was not only a crime, it had been a tragic153 folly154. I think I was glad to know it; I think I was glad to have my better impulses thus buttressed155 and guarded by the terrors of the scaffold. Jekyll was now my city of refuge; let but Hyde peep out an instant, and the hands of all men would be raised to take and slay156 him.
I resolved in my future conduct to redeem157 the past; and I can say with honesty that my resolve was fruitful of some good. You know yourself how earnestly, in the last months of the last year, I laboured to relieve suffering; you know that much was done for others, and that the days passed quietly, almost happily for myself. Nor can I truly say that I wearied of this beneficent and innocent life; I think instead that I daily enjoyed it more completely; but I was still cursed with my duality of purpose; and as the first edge of my penitence wore off, the lower side of me, so long indulged, so recently chained down, began to growl158 for licence. Not that I dreamed of resuscitating159 Hyde; the bare idea of that would startle me to frenzy160: no, it was in my own person that I was once more tempted to trifle with my conscience; and it was as an ordinary secret sinner that I at last fell before the assaults of temptation.
There comes an end to all things; the most capacious measure is filled at last; and this brief condescension161 to my evil finally destroyed the balance of my soul. And yet I was not alarmed; the fall seemed natural, like a return to the old days before I had made my discovery. It was a fine, clear, January day, wet under foot where the frost had melted, but cloudless overhead; and the Regent’s Park was full of winter chirrupings and sweet with spring odours. I sat in the sun on a bench; the animal within me licking the chops of memory; the spiritual side a little drowsed, promising162 subsequent penitence, but not yet moved to begin. After all, I reflected, I was like my neighbours; and then I smiled, comparing myself with other men, comparing my active good-will with the lazy cruelty of their neglect. And at the very moment of that vainglorious163 thought, a qualm came over me, a horrid164 nausea and the most deadly shuddering166. These passed away, and left me faint; and then as in its turn faintness subsided, I began to be aware of a change in the temper of my thoughts, a greater boldness, a contempt of danger, a solution of the bonds of obligation. I looked down; my clothes hung formlessly on my shrunken limbs; the hand that lay on my knee was corded and hairy. I was once more Edward Hyde. A moment before I had been safe of all men’s respect, wealthy, beloved—the cloth laying for me in the dining-room at home; and now I was the common quarry167 of mankind, hunted, houseless, a known murderer, thrall168 to the gallows169.
My reason wavered, but it did not fail me utterly. I have more than once observed that in my second character, my faculties seemed sharpened to a point and my spirits more tensely elastic170; thus it came about that, where Jekyll perhaps might have succumbed171, Hyde rose to the importance of the moment. My drugs were in one of the presses of my cabinet; how was I to reach them? That was the problem that (crushing my temples in my hands) I set myself to solve. The laboratory door I had closed. If I sought to enter by the house, my own servants would consign172 me to the gallows. I saw I must employ another hand, and thought of Lanyon. How was he to be reached? how persuaded? Supposing that I escaped capture in the streets, how was I to make my way into his presence? and how should I, an unknown and displeasing173 visitor, prevail on the famous physician to rifle the study of his colleague, Dr. Jekyll? Then I remembered that of my original character, one part remained to me: I could write my own hand; and once I had conceived that kindling174 spark, the way that I must follow became lighted up from end to end.
Thereupon, I arranged my clothes as best I could, and summoning a passing hansom, drove to an hotel in Portland Street, the name of which I chanced to remember. At my appearance (which was indeed comical enough, however tragic a fate these garments covered) the driver could not conceal his mirth. I gnashed my teeth upon him with a gust123 of devilish fury; and the smile withered175 from his face—happily for him—yet more happily for myself, for in another instant I had certainly dragged him from his perch176. At the inn, as I entered, I looked about me with so black a countenance as made the attendants tremble; not a look did they exchange in my presence; but obsequiously177 took my orders, led me to a private room, and brought me wherewithal to write. Hyde in danger of his life was a creature new to me; shaken with inordinate178 anger, strung to the pitch of murder, lusting179 to inflict180 pain. Yet the creature was astute181; mastered his fury with a great effort of the will; composed his two important letters, one to Lanyon and one to Poole; and that he might receive actual evidence of their being posted, sent them out with directions that they should be registered. Thenceforward, he sat all day over the fire in the private room, gnawing182 his nails; there he dined, sitting alone with his fears, the waiter visibly quailing183 before his eye; and thence, when the night was fully184 come, he set forth in the corner of a closed cab, and was driven to and fro about the streets of the city. He, I say—I cannot say, I. That child of Hell had nothing human; nothing lived in him but fear and hatred185. And when at last, thinking the driver had begun to grow suspicious, he discharged the cab and ventured on foot, attired in his misfitting clothes, an object marked out for observation, into the midst of the nocturnal passengers, these two base passions raged within him like a tempest. He walked fast, hunted by his fears, chattering186 to himself, skulking187 through the less frequented thoroughfares, counting the minutes that still divided him from midnight. Once a woman spoke188 to him, offering, I think, a box of lights. He smote189 her in the face, and she fled.
When I came to myself at Lanyon’s, the horror of my old friend perhaps affected me somewhat: I do not know; it was at least but a drop in the sea to the abhorrence190 with which I looked back upon these hours. A change had come over me. It was no longer the fear of the gallows, it was the horror of being Hyde that racked me. I received Lanyon’s condemnation191 partly in a dream; it was partly in a dream that I came home to my own house and got into bed. I slept after the prostration192 of the day, with a stringent193 and profound slumber which not even the nightmares that wrung194 me could avail to break. I awoke in the morning shaken, weakened, but refreshed. I still hated and feared the thought of the brute195 that slept within me, and I had not of course forgotten the appalling196 dangers of the day before; but I was once more at home, in my own house and close to my drugs; and gratitude for my escape shone so strong in my soul that it almost rivalled the brightness of hope.
I was stepping leisurely197 across the court after breakfast, drinking the chill of the air with pleasure, when I was seized again with those indescribable sensations that heralded198 the change; and I had but the time to gain the shelter of my cabinet, before I was once again raging and freezing with the passions of Hyde. It took on this occasion a double dose to recall me to myself; and alas! six hours after, as I sat looking sadly in the fire, the pangs returned, and the drug had to be re-administered. In short, from that day forth it seemed only by a great effort as of gymnastics, and only under the immediate199 stimulation200 of the drug, that I was able to wear the countenance of Jekyll. At all hours of the day and night, I would be taken with the premonitory shudder165; above all, if I slept, or even dozed201 for a moment in my chair, it was always as Hyde that I awakened. Under the strain of this continually impending202 doom and by the sleeplessness203 to which I now condemned204 myself, ay, even beyond what I had thought possible to man, I became, in my own person, a creature eaten up and emptied by fever, languidly weak both in body and mind, and solely205 occupied by one thought: the horror of my other self. But when I slept, or when the virtue of the medicine wore off, I would leap almost without transition (for the pangs of transformation grew daily less marked) into the possession of a fancy brimming with images of terror, a soul boiling with causeless hatreds206, and a body that seemed not strong enough to contain the raging energies of life. The powers of Hyde seemed to have grown with the sickliness of Jekyll. And certainly the hate that now divided them was equal on each side. With Jekyll, it was a thing of vital instinct. He had now seen the full deformity of that creature that shared with him some of the phenomena207 of consciousness, and was co-heir with him to death: and beyond these links of community, which in themselves made the most poignant208 part of his distress, he thought of Hyde, for all his energy of life, as of something not only hellish but inorganic209. This was the shocking thing; that the slime of the pit seemed to utter cries and voices; that the amorphous210 dust gesticulated and sinned; that what was dead, and had no shape, should usurp211 the offices of life. And this again, that that insurgent212 horror was knit to him closer than a wife, closer than an eye; lay caged in his flesh, where he heard it mutter and felt it struggle to be born; and at every hour of weakness, and in the confidence of slumber, prevailed against him, and deposed him out of life. The hatred of Hyde for Jekyll was of a different order. His terror of the gallows drove him continually to commit temporary suicide, and return to his subordinate station of a part instead of a person; but he loathed213 the necessity, he loathed the despondency into which Jekyll was now fallen, and he resented the dislike with which he was himself regarded. Hence the ape-like tricks that he would play me, scrawling214 in my own hand blasphemies215 on the pages of my books, burning the letters and destroying the portrait of my father; and indeed, had it not been for his fear of death, he would long ago have ruined himself in order to involve me in the ruin. But his love of me is wonderful; I go further: I, who sicken and freeze at the mere thought of him, when I recall the abjection216 and passion of this attachment217, and when I know how he fears my power to cut him off by suicide, I find it in my heart to pity him.
It is useless, and the time awfully218 fails me, to prolong this description; no one has ever suffered such torments219, let that suffice; and yet even to these, habit brought—no, not alleviation—but a certain callousness220 of soul, a certain acquiescence221 of despair; and my punishment might have gone on for years, but for the last calamity222 which has now fallen, and which has finally severed me from my own face and nature. My provision of the salt, which had never been renewed since the date of the first experiment, began to run low. I sent out for a fresh supply and mixed the draught; the ebullition followed, and the first change of colour, not the second; I drank it and it was without efficiency. You will learn from Poole how I have had London ransacked223; it was in vain; and I am now persuaded that my first supply was impure224, and that it was that unknown impurity225 which lent efficacy to the draught.
About a week has passed, and I am now finishing this statement under the influence of the last of the old powders. This, then, is the last time, short of a miracle, that Henry Jekyll can think his own thoughts or see his own face (now how sadly altered!) in the glass. Nor must I delay too long to bring my writing to an end; for if my narrative has hitherto escaped destruction, it has been by a combination of great prudence226 and great good luck. Should the throes of change take me in the act of writing it, Hyde will tear it in pieces; but if some time shall have elapsed after I have laid it by, his wonderful selfishness and circumscription227 to the moment will probably save it once again from the action of his ape-like spite. And indeed the doom that is closing on us both has already changed and crushed him. Half an hour from now, when I shall again and forever reindue that hated personality, I know how I shall sit shuddering and weeping in my chair, or continue, with the most strained and fearstruck ecstasy of listening, to pace up and down this room (my last earthly refuge) and give ear to every sound of menace. Will Hyde die upon the scaffold? or will he find courage to release himself at the last moment? God knows; I am careless; this is my true hour of death, and what is to follow concerns another than myself. Here then, as I lay down the pen and proceed to seal up my confession, I bring the life of that unhappy Henry Jekyll to an end.
The End
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honourable
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| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
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distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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4
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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5
conceal
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽 | |
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6
concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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7
blazoned
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| v.广布( blazon的过去式和过去分词 )；宣布；夸示；装饰 | |
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8
guilt
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| n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责 | |
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9
morbid
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| adj.病的；致病的；病态的；可怕的 | |
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10
exacting
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| adj.苛求的，要求严格的 | |
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11
aspirations
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| 强烈的愿望( aspiration的名词复数 )； 志向； 发送气音； 发 h 音 | |
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12
degradation
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| n.降级；低落；退化；陵削；降解；衰变 | |
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13
trench
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| n./v.(挖)沟，(挖)战壕 | |
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14
severed
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| v.切断，断绝( sever的过去式和过去分词 )；断，裂 | |
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15
dual
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| adj.双的；二重的，二元的 | |
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16
inveterately
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| adv.根深蒂固地，积习地 | |
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17
plentiful
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| adj.富裕的，丰富的 | |
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18
distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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19
plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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20
perennial
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| adj.终年的；长久的 | |
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21
steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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22
doomed
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| 命定的 | |
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23
doom
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| n.厄运，劫数；v.注定，命定 | |
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24
shipwreck
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| n.船舶失事，海难 | |
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25
outstrip
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| v.超过，跑过 | |
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26
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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27
denizens
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| n.居民，住户( denizen的名词复数 ) | |
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28
primitive
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| adj.原始的；简单的；n.原(始)人，原始事物 | |
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29
radically
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| ad.根本地，本质地 | |
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30
daydream
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| v.做白日梦，幻想 | |
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31
unbearable
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| adj.不能容忍的；忍受不住的 | |
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32
remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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33
steadfastly
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| adv.踏实地，不变地；岿然；坚定不渝 | |
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34
penitence
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| n.忏悔，赎罪；悔过 | |
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35
extraneous
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| adj.体外的；外来的；外部的 | |
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36
attired
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| adj.穿着整齐的v.使穿上衣服，使穿上盛装( attire的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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37
confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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38
unfamiliar
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| adj.陌生的，不熟悉的 | |
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39
narrative
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| n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的 | |
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40
alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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41
effulgence
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| n.光辉 | |
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42
supremacy
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| n.至上；至高权力 | |
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43
potently
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44
fortress
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| n.堡垒，防御工事 | |
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45
scruple
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| n./v.顾忌，迟疑 | |
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46
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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47
blot
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| vt.弄脏（用吸墨纸）吸干；n.污点，污渍 | |
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48
wholesale
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| n.批发；adv.以批发方式；vt.批发，成批出售 | |
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49
subside
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| vi.平静，平息；下沉，塌陷，沉降 | |
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50
subsided
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| v.（土地）下陷（因在地下采矿）( subside的过去式和过去分词 )；减弱；下降至较低或正常水平；一下子坐在椅子等上 | |
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51
pangs
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| 突然的剧痛( pang的名词复数 )； 悲痛 | |
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52
nausea
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| n.作呕，恶心；极端的憎恶(或厌恶) | |
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53
lighter
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| n.打火机，点火器；驳船；v.用驳船运送；light的比较级 | |
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54
braced
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| adj.拉牢的v.支住( brace的过去式和过去分词 )；撑牢；使自己站稳；振作起来 | |
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55
exulting
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| vi. 欢欣鼓舞，狂喜 | |
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56
stature
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| n.（高度）水平，（高度）境界，身高，身材 | |
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57
transformations
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| n.变化( transformation的名词复数 )；转换；转换；变换 | |
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58
transformation
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| n.变化；改造；转变 | |
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59
inmates
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| n.囚犯( inmate的名词复数 ) | |
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60
slumber
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| n.睡眠，沉睡状态 | |
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61
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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62
constellations
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| n.星座( constellation的名词复数 )；一群杰出人物；一系列（相关的想法、事物）；一群（相关的人） | |
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63
robust
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| adj.强壮的，强健的，粗野的，需要体力的，浓的 | |
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64
deposed
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| v.罢免( depose的过去式和过去分词 )；（在法庭上）宣誓作证 | |
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65
virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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66
exhausted
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| adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的 | |
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67
lethal
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| adj.致死的；毁灭性的 | |
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68
imprint
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| n.印痕，痕迹；深刻的印象；vt.压印，牢记 | |
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69
idol
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| n.偶像，红人，宠儿 | |
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70
repugnance
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| n.嫌恶 | |
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71
semblance
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| n.外貌，外表 | |
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72
misgiving
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| n.疑虑，担忧，害怕 | |
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73
commingled
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| v.混合，掺和，合并( commingle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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74
conclusive
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|
| adj.最后的，结论的；确凿的，消除怀疑的 | |
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75
tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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76
pious
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|
| adj.虔诚的；道貌岸然的 | |
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77
forth
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|
| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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78
discriminating
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| a.有辨别能力的 | |
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79
diabolical
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|
| adj.恶魔似的，凶暴的 | |
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80
slumbered
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| 微睡，睡眠（slumber的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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81
doff
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| v.脱，丢弃，废除 | |
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82
noted
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| adj.著名的，知名的 | |
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83
housekeeper
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| n.管理家务的主妇，女管家 | |
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84
mishaps
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| n.轻微的事故，小的意外( mishap的名词复数 ) | |
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85
pecuniary
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|
| adj.金钱的；金钱上的 | |
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86
fortified
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| adj. 加强的 | |
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87
immunities
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| 免除，豁免( immunity的名词复数 )； 免疫力 | |
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88
transact
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|
| v.处理；做交易；谈判 | |
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89
plod
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| v.沉重缓慢地走，孜孜地工作 | |
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90
genial
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| adj.亲切的，和蔼的，愉快的，脾气好的 | |
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91
mantle
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| n.斗篷，覆罩之物，罩子；v.罩住，覆盖，脸红 | |
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92
draught
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| n.拉，牵引，拖；一网（饮，吸，阵)；顿服药量，通风；v.起草，设计 | |
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93
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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94
monstrous
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|
| adj.巨大的；恐怖的；可耻的，丢脸的 | |
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95
malign
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| adj.有害的；恶性的；恶意的；v.诽谤，诬蔑 | |
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96
bestial
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| adj.残忍的；野蛮的 | |
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97
relentless
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| adj.残酷的，不留情的，无怜悯心的 | |
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98
insidiously
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| 潜在地，隐伏地，阴险地 | |
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99
undo
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| vt.解开，松开；取消，撤销 | |
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100
infamy
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| n.声名狼藉，出丑，恶行 | |
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101
connived
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| v.密谋 ( connive的过去式和过去分词 )；搞阴谋；默许；纵容 | |
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102
chastisement
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| n.惩罚 | |
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103
kinsman
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| n.男亲属 | |
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104
pacify
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| vt.使(某人)平静(或息怒)；抚慰 | |
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105
resentment
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| n.怨愤，忿恨 | |
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106
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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107
doze
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| v.打瞌睡；n.打盹，假寐 | |
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108
comely
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| adj.漂亮的，合宜的 | |
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109
knuckly
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| n.（指人）指关节；（指动物）膝关节，肘；铰结，肘形接；铜指节套vt.用指关节打、压、碰、擦 | |
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110
cymbals
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| pl.铙钹 | |
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111
exquisitely
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| adv.精致地；强烈地；剧烈地；异常地 | |
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112
awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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113
alteration
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| n.变更，改变；蚀变 | |
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114
inexplicable
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| adj.无法解释的，难理解的 | |
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115
judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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116
permanently
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| adv.永恒地，永久地，固定不变地 | |
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117
overthrown
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| adj. 打翻的，推倒的，倾覆的 动词overthrow的过去分词 | |
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118
forfeit
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| vt.丧失；n.罚金，罚款，没收物 | |
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119
forfeited
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| （因违反协议、犯规、受罚等）丧失，失去( forfeit的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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120
uncertainties
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| 无把握( uncertainty的名词复数 )； 不确定； 变化不定； 无把握、不确定的事物 | |
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121
faculties
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| n.能力( faculty的名词复数 )；全体教职员；技巧；院 | |
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122
apprehensions
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| 疑惧 | |
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123
gust
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| n.阵风，突然一阵（雨、烟等），（感情的）迸发 | |
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124
cavern
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| n.洞穴，大山洞 | |
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125
conceals
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，遮住( conceal的第三人称单数 ) | |
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126
indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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127
pamper
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| v.纵容，过分关怀 | |
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128
resolute
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| adj.坚决的，果敢的 | |
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129
attained
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| （通常经过努力）实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况） | |
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130
obliterate
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| v.擦去，涂抹，去掉...痕迹，消失，除去 | |
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131
longings
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| 渴望，盼望( longing的名词复数 ) | |
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132
vice
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| n.坏事；恶习；[pl.]台钳，老虎钳；adj.副的 | |
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133
affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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134
propensity
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| n.倾向；习性 | |
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135
impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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136
sane
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| adj.心智健全的，神志清醒的，明智的，稳健的 | |
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137
provocation
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| n.激怒，刺激，挑拨，挑衅的事物，激怒的原因 | |
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138
delirium
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| n. 神智昏迷,说胡话;极度兴奋 | |
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139
dispersed
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| adj. 被驱散的, 被分散的, 散布的 | |
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140
lust
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| n.性(淫)欲；渴(欲)望；vi.对…有强烈的欲望 | |
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141
stimulated
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| a.刺激的 | |
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142
peg
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| n.木栓，木钉；vt.用木钉钉，用短桩固定 | |
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143
ecstasy
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| n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷 | |
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144
avenger
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| n. 复仇者 | |
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145
gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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146
toils
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| 网 | |
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147
smother
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| vt./vi.使窒息；抑制；闷死；n.浓烟；窒息 | |
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148
hideous
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| adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的 | |
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149
swarmed
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| 密集( swarm的过去式和过去分词 )； 云集； 成群地移动； 蜜蜂或其他飞行昆虫成群地飞来飞去 | |
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150
iniquity
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| n.邪恶；不公正 | |
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151
humility
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| n.谦逊，谦恭 | |
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152
restrictions
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| 约束( restriction的名词复数 )； 管制； 制约因素； 带限制性的条件（或规则） | |
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153
tragic
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| adj.悲剧的，悲剧性的，悲惨的 | |
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154
folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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155
buttressed
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| v.用扶壁支撑，加固( buttress的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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156
slay
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| v.杀死，宰杀，杀戮 | |
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157
redeem
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| v.买回，赎回，挽回，恢复，履行（诺言等） | |
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158
growl
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| v.（狗等）嗥叫，（炮等）轰鸣；n.嗥叫，轰鸣 | |
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159
resuscitating
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| v.使（某人或某物）恢复知觉，苏醒( resuscitate的现在分词 ) | |
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160
frenzy
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| n.疯狂，狂热，极度的激动 | |
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161
condescension
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| n.自以为高人一等，贬低(别人) | |
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162
promising
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| adj.有希望的，有前途的 | |
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163
vainglorious
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| adj.自负的；夸大的 | |
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164
horrid
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| adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的 | |
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165
shudder
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| v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动 | |
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166
shuddering
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| v.战栗( shudder的现在分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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167
quarry
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| n.采石场；v.采石；费力地找 | |
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168
thrall
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| n.奴隶；奴隶制 | |
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169
gallows
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| n.绞刑架，绞台 | |
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170
elastic
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| n.橡皮圈，松紧带；adj.有弹性的；灵活的 | |
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171
succumbed
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| 不再抵抗（诱惑、疾病、攻击等）( succumb的过去式和过去分词 )； 屈从； 被压垮； 死 | |
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172
consign
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| vt.寄售（货品），托运，交托，委托 | |
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173
displeasing
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| 不愉快的，令人发火的 | |
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174
kindling
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| n. 点火, 可燃物 动词kindle的现在分词形式 | |
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175
withered
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| adj. 枯萎的，干瘪的，（人身体的部分器官）因病萎缩的或未发育良好的 动词wither的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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176
perch
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| n.栖木，高位，杆；v.栖息，就位，位于 | |
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177
obsequiously
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178
inordinate
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| adj.无节制的；过度的 | |
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179
lusting
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| 贪求（lust的现在分词形式） | |
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180
inflict
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| vt.(on)把…强加给，使遭受，使承担 | |
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181
astute
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| adj.机敏的，精明的 | |
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182
gnawing
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| a.痛苦的，折磨人的 | |
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183
quailing
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| 害怕，发抖，畏缩( quail的现在分词 ) | |
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184
fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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185
hatred
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| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
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186
chattering
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| n. （机器振动发出的）咔嗒声，(鸟等)鸣，啁啾 adj. 喋喋不休的，啾啾声的 动词chatter的现在分词形式 | |
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187
skulking
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| v.潜伏，偷偷摸摸地走动，鬼鬼祟祟地活动( skulk的现在分词 ) | |
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188
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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189
smote
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| v.猛打，重击，打击( smite的过去式 ) | |
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190
abhorrence
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| n.憎恶；可憎恶的事 | |
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191
condemnation
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| n.谴责; 定罪 | |
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192
prostration
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| n. 平伏, 跪倒, 疲劳 | |
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193
stringent
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| adj.严厉的；令人信服的；银根紧的 | |
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194
wrung
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| 绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 )； 握紧（尤指别人的手）； 把（湿衣服）拧干； 绞掉（水） | |
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195
brute
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| n.野兽，兽性 | |
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196
appalling
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| adj.骇人听闻的，令人震惊的，可怕的 | |
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197
leisurely
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| adj.悠闲的；从容的，慢慢的 | |
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198
heralded
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| v.预示( herald的过去式和过去分词 )；宣布（好或重要） | |
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199
immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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200
stimulation
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| n.刺激，激励，鼓舞 | |
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201
dozed
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| v.打盹儿，打瞌睡( doze的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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202
impending
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| a.imminent, about to come or happen | |
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203
sleeplessness
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| n.失眠，警觉 | |
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204
condemned
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| adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词 | |
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205
solely
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| adv.仅仅，唯一地 | |
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206
hatreds
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| n.仇恨，憎恶( hatred的名词复数 )；厌恶的事 | |
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207
phenomena
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| n.现象 | |
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208
poignant
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| adj.令人痛苦的，辛酸的，惨痛的 | |
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209
inorganic
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| adj.无生物的；无机的 | |
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210
amorphous
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| adj.无定形的 | |
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211
usurp
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| vt.篡夺，霸占；vi.篡位 | |
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212
insurgent
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| adj.叛乱的，起事的；n.叛乱分子 | |
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213
loathed
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| v.憎恨，厌恶( loathe的过去式和过去分词 )；极不喜欢 | |
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214
scrawling
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| 乱涂，潦草地写( scrawl的现在分词 ) | |
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215
blasphemies
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| n.对上帝的亵渎，亵渎的言词[行为]( blasphemy的名词复数 )；侮慢的言词（或行为） | |
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216
abjection
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| n. 卑鄙, 落魄 | |
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217
attachment
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| n.附属物，附件；依恋；依附 | |
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218
awfully
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| adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地 | |
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219
torments
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| （肉体或精神上的）折磨，痛苦( torment的名词复数 )； 造成痛苦的事物[人] | |
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220
callousness
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221
acquiescence
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| n.默许；顺从 | |
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222
calamity
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| n.灾害，祸患，不幸事件 | |
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223
ransacked
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| v.彻底搜查( ransack的过去式和过去分词 )；抢劫，掠夺 | |
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224
impure
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| adj.不纯净的，不洁的；不道德的，下流的 | |
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225
impurity
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| n.不洁，不纯，杂质 | |
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226
prudence
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| n.谨慎，精明，节俭 | |
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227
circumscription
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| n.界限；限界 | |
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