We will now proceed to consider certain weird4 potations, some of which I have personally tested, others of which not all the wealth of Golconda, Peru, and Throgmorton Street would induce me to sample of my own accord, and all of which bring more or less trouble in their wake.
Gall5 and wormwood have been closely allied6 from time im-me-mo-rial; and it is in accordance with the eternal fitness of things that the consumption of
Absinthe
should be almost entirely7 confined to France. And what is absinthe? Merely alcohol, in {116} which have been macerated for a week or so the pounded leaves and flowering tops of wormwood, together with angelica root, sweet-flag root, star-anise, and other aromatics8. The liquor is then distilled10, and the result is the decoctions sacred to the “little green fairy,” who has accomplished11 even more manslaughter than the Mahdi, the Khalifa, and the Peculiar12 People, put together. Of all the liqueurs absinthe is the most pernicious; and with many other sins it occupies some time in taking possession of its victim. Like Mr. Chevalier’s hero, you “have to know it fust,” and after that the rest is easy. Like golf, “scorching,” and gambling13, once you “get” absinthe, it gets you, and never leaves you whilst you last; and there is a weird, almost tragic14, look about the milky15 liquid, when diluted16 with water, as to suggest smoke, and brimstone, and flames, with a demon17 rising from their midst. But it is only “the little green fairy”; who is, however, as deadly and determined18 as any demon.
The best absinthe is made in the canton of Neuchatel, Switzerland, and is not made entirely from Wormwood proper, but from a mixture of plants related to it—such as Southernwood (“Old Man”), and another which takes its name from the invulnerable Achilles. But the merry Swiss boy knows a trick worth two of drinking absinthe; so the French get the most of it, whilst some goes to America, and some to the foreign quarters of our great metropolis19. The French soldiers learnt to appreciate it, from drinking it as a febrifuge, during the Algerian campaign, 1832–47, and it afterwards became, {117} gradually, a popular drink on the boulevards, where the five o’clock gossip-hour at the cafés came to be known as “the hour of absinthe.” Its use is now forbidden in the French army and navy, and no wonder. The evil effects of drinking it are very apparent: utter derangement20 of the digestive system, weakened frame, limp muscles, pappy brain, jumpy heart, horrible dreams and hallucinations, with paralysis21 or idiocy22 to bring down the curtain.
In that seductive, though gruesome book, Wormwood, Marie Corelli gives a most graphic23 picture of an absintheur, once a gay young banker, who, through trouble of no ordinary kind, gradually came under the spell of the “green fairy.” I forget how many murders he committed; but his awful experiences and hallucinations will never leave anybody who has read the book. He is haunted for some days by a leopard24 who accompanies him on his walks abroad, and who lies down at the foot of his bed at night-time—the “jim-jams,” in fact, in their worst form.
“There are two terrible verses,” says a writer on the subject, “in the Revelations of St. John.
“And the third angel sounded his trumpet25, and there fell a great star from the heavens, burning like a lamp, and it fell upon a third part of the rivers and upon the fountains of waters. And the name of the star is called Wormwood; and the third part of the waters became Wormwood, and many men died of the waters because they were made bitter.”
Which seems a very appropriate quotation26; {118} yet will men drink of the waters, for although absinthe makes the heart grow blacker, and the pulse more feeble, men—and, occasionally women—will continue, as long as there is a world, to do the thing they ought not to do. With which moralising let us pass to the next objectionable drink,
Arrack.
This is an East Indian name, derived27 from the Arabic, for all sorts of distilled spirits, but chiefly for the “toddy,” or palm-liquor obtained from the cocoa-palm, as also from rice, and the coarse brown sugar known to the natives as “jaggery.” “Toddy,” when fresh, is a delicious drink, and bears no sort of relationship to whisky-toddy. An almost nude28 male swarms29 up a cocoa-palm—assisted by a rope which encircles his ankles and the trunk of the tree—early in the morning, and fetches down the vessel30 which has been fastened up atop, overnight, to catch the sap which has dripped from the incisions31 made in the tree. That sap, in its raw state, is delicious—especially with a dash of rum in it, but it ferments32 rapidly, and usually turns sour in three or four days. Then the natives distil9, and make “arrack” of it—a liquor which is sold in the bazaars34 and drunk on the occasion of a burra din3, or festival. Nor is its use confined to natives. The British soldier drinks it, faute de mieux; and occasionally the British officer.
Poor B――, who was in my old regiment36, had fuddled himself into such a state of stupidity, that all liquor was forbidden him by the doctor’s {119} orders. I, who shared his bungalow37, took particular care that these orders were carried out, and threatened his bearer and khitmugar with fearful penalties should they convey any surreptitious alcohol to the sahib. Still he managed to get it; and it took me a week to find out how. His syce (groom) used to smuggle38 arrack from the bazaar35, and hide it under the horse’s bedding in the stable; and whenever I was away from the house, poor B―― used to creep over to the stable, and “soak” there!
An imitation arrack may be made by dissolving 10 grains of benzoic acid in a pint39 of rum; but arrack is just the sort of fluid which ought not to be imitated. Give me the honest, manly40, simple, beautiful Bass41!
Bhang,
another dreadful East Indian drink, and a deadly intoxicant, is distilled from hemp42; and if it had only been round the neck of the inventor before he invented it, society would have benefited.
Saké,
the favourite beverage of the Japs, who got it from the Chinese, and improved upon it, is not a desirable swallow. It is a rapid intoxicant, but the over-estimator rapidly recovers the perpendicular43. Saké was handed round as a liqueur, at the much-advertised banquet of the “Thirteen Club”; but it is said that the liqueur was in no sub-se-quent request. Not even one of those {120} daring and adventurous44 mirror-smashers and salt-spillers express the desire to take-on saké “in a moog.”
Vodka
is the “livener” of the Russian peasantry, and is distilled from—what?
Plain Water,
whether fortunately or otherwise, comes under the heading of “Strange Swallows.” It is still consumed in prisons, and other places where sinners and paupers45 are dieted at the expense of the ratepayer. And hard as are the ways of the transgressor46, his daily “quencher” is even harder. “Plain water,” wrote a celebrated47 Mongolian of his day, “has a malignant48 influence, and ought on no account to be drunk.” More especially if it be Thames water. I once saw a drop of this, very much magnified, displayed on a stretched cloth, in a side-show at the Crystal Palace. In that drop of water I counted three boa-constrictors, a few horrors which resembled giant lobsters49, and a pair of turtles engaged, apparently50, in a duel51 to the death. Three ladies in the front row of the stalls, at that exhibition, were carried out, swooning.
Whether cold water ought to be drunk, or not, I am bound, as a tolerably truthful52 chronicler, to remark that very few folk who can obtain any other sort of tipple53 do drink it.
It has been claimed by the Brahmins that {121}
The Original Intoxicant
was evolved from the climbing bindweed of Hindustan, one of the con-vol-vu-lus fam-i-ly. From this was made a liquor called Soma, which is still the sacred beverage of the Hindus. It is the Persian Haoma, and, I should imagine, “absolutely beastly” to the Christian54 taste. Everybody knows the Christian bindweed—the stuff you get in your garden when you set potatoes, or early peas.
Pulque, which is the sap of the aloe, is the favourite drink of the Mexicans. In Kamtchatka the natives drink (or used to drink) birch-wine, which has been already described in these pages. The Russians, also, are very fond of birch-wine; and their’s effervesces55, like champagne56.
In Patagonia they drink
Chi Chi,
a cider made from wild apples. Pits are dug, and lined with the hides of horses, to prevent any liquor escaping, the apples are thrown in, and left to decay, and ferment33, “on their own.” The Patagonians have an annual “big drink” of this dreadful mess, besides many smaller boosing-bouts. And upon these occasions the Patagonian ladies are in the habit of hiding all the knives and lethal57 weapons they can find, and retiring, with their children, into the woods, until their lords and masters and other relatives have drunk themselves mad, and then slept themselves sober again. {122}
In the Caucasus district there be strange drinks made from mares’ milk, sparkling—such as Koumiss, or otherwise. But these beverages58 do not have a large sale in other districts.
Kafta,
which hardly comes under the heading of “swallows,” is in much request amongst the Arabs, especially in the neigh-bour-hood of Yemen. These people boil the leaves and stems of the kat—a shrub59 about ten feet high, which is planted in the same ground as the coffee—and chew them. All visitors are presented with twigs60 of this kat plant to chew; and the drawing-room carpet suffers terribly.
“Very pleasant sensations” are, it is said, caused by this custom, and the effect is so invigorating that the Arab soldier who goes in steadily61 for Kafta can do “sentry go” all night without feeling in the least drowsy62. Whether the soldiers of the Khalifa did much chewing on the night before the battle of Omdurman deponent sayeth not. Frequently the kat leaves are boiled in milk sweetened with honey, and the result is the same. The infusion63 is intoxicating64, but the effect is not of long endurance; and at a synod of the most learned Mahomedans it was pronounced lawful65 for the faithful to chew, or drink Kafta, “as, whilst it did not impair66 the health nor hinder the observance of religious duties, it increased hilarity67 and good humour.” Sly rogues68, these followers69 of the Prophet!
If a man wants to retain his old friends and {123} to make fresh ones let not that man take to selling wines or spirits on commission. Some years ago I gave an old schoolfellow an order for a case of Scotch70 whisky, which he declared upon oath to be absolutely the best procurable71. Home came the whisky, and the first cork72 was drawn73. Pop! The stuff was literally74 effervescent, like champagne, or Russian birch-wine. “My dear,” I observed to the partner of my joys and cares, “we had better not drink much of this.”
At the next Sandown Park race-meeting I met the whisky agent, who, I forgot to mention before, was a bit of a stammerer75.
“And wh-wh-wh-what,” he asked, “d’you think of that wh-wh-wh-wh-whisky?”
Stammering76 is occasionally to be caught.
“I think,” was my reply, “it’s the d-d-d-dashedest m-m-m-muck I ever t-t-t-t-tasted.”
“Wh-wh-what’s the m-m-m-matter with it?”
“It f-f-f-fizzes like g-g-g-ginger77 p-p-p-pop.”
“My d-d-dear sir,” he protested, “that is no dr-dr-drawback. That’s the p-p-p-peat-r-r-reek.”
Peat-reek or no, that whisky was not used for household purposes-not even for the Christmas pudding; but was kept for the special benefit of such police-constables, Inland Revenue officers, process-servers, tax-gatherers, book agents, and retailers78 of certain winners, as might call around, with a thirst in them.
Strange whisky reminds me of the American story of the proprietor79 of a spirit-store in Arizona, who found the ordinary brand of “Rye” was not sufficiently80 attractive to his customers. So he fitted together a blend of his own, consisting of {124} essence of ginger, capsicums, croton oil, snuff, carbolic acid, pain-killer, turpentine, and a little very young and very potent81 spirit distilled from old junk. He placed a bottle of this on the counter, and the first customer who came along helped himself to a tumblerful, and, taking it “straight,” swallowed it at a gulp82.
As soon as he had got his second wind, he gasped83 out: “That’s the best doggoned whisky I’ve sampled in this yer camp. Sonny, guess you’ve fixed84 me up to rights. It’s like swallerin’ a circ’lar saw and pullin’ it up again. So long.”
And with the tears pouring down his cheeks, and holding on to his diaphragm with both hands, he staggered into the open. The saloon-keeper watched him from the doorway85, until he had passed the second block, and rounded the corner; and returned to his counter and his bottles, with the pious86 exclamation87: “The Lord be praised.! He hasn’t died in our parish!”
No chapter on strange drinks would be complete without the following story, which, I confess at the outset, is one of the most venerable of “chestnuts.” It appeared in the Sporting Times four-and-twenty years ago, and I will not affirm that it was strictly88 original even then. It has since been translated into every known language; but it is just possible that some of the rising generation may not have heard it.
A well-dressed gentleman entered a chemist’s shop one morning, evidently in a violent hurry.
“Can you make me up a dose of castor-oil?”
“Certainly, sir,” said the dispenser, with a bow. {125}
Whilst he was going through the usual motions—no prescription89 can be properly made up until the chemist has overhauled90 every bottle on the top shelf, opened most of the empty drawers, and upset a tray of tooth-brushes—the customer was fidgeting about the shop, and fanning himself with a scented91 pocket-handkerchief.
“It’s infernally hot,” he said presently, “and I don’t think I ever felt so thirsty in my life. Can I have a bottle of lemonade?”
“Certainly, sir.”
More sorting of bottles. Presently “pop” goes a cork, and the sparkling lemonade is poured into a mammoth92 tumbler. The customer drains it at once.
“Ah-h-h!” he crowed, wiping his mouth. “I feel a bit better now.”
A pause. Presently he asked:—
“Have you made that up yet?”
“What, sir?” asked the chemist.
“Why that stuff—the castor-oil I ordered.”
“You’ve had it, sir.”
“Had it?! Wotty mean?”
“I gave it you in the lemonade, sir.”
“Great Scotland Yard?!” exclaimed the customer. “I didn’t want it for myself—I’m going to be married in half an hour!”
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1
beverage
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| n.(水，酒等之外的)饮料 | |
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anecdote
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| n.轶事，趣闻，短故事 | |
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din
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| n.喧闹声，嘈杂声 | |
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weird
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| adj.古怪的，离奇的；怪诞的，神秘而可怕的 | |
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gall
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| v.使烦恼，使焦躁，难堪；n.磨难 | |
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allied
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| adj.协约国的；同盟国的 | |
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7
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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aromatics
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| n.芳香植物( aromatic的名词复数 )；芳香剂，芳香药物 | |
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distil
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| vt.蒸馏；提取…的精华，精选出 | |
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10
distilled
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| adj.由蒸馏得来的v.蒸馏( distil的过去式和过去分词 )；从…提取精华 | |
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accomplished
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| adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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gambling
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| n.赌博；投机 | |
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14
tragic
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| adj.悲剧的，悲剧性的，悲惨的 | |
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15
milky
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| adj.牛奶的，多奶的；乳白色的 | |
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16
diluted
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| 无力的，冲淡的 | |
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demon
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| n.魔鬼，恶魔 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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metropolis
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| n.首府；大城市 | |
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derangement
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| n.精神错乱 | |
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paralysis
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| n.麻痹(症)；瘫痪(症) | |
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idiocy
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| n.愚蠢 | |
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graphic
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| adj.生动的，形象的，绘画的，文字的，图表的 | |
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leopard
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| n.豹 | |
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trumpet
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| n.喇叭，喇叭声；v.吹喇叭，吹嘘 | |
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quotation
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| n.引文，引语，语录；报价，牌价，行情 | |
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derived
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| vi.起源；由来；衍生；导出v.得到( derive的过去式和过去分词 )；（从…中）得到获得；源于；（从…中）提取 | |
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nude
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| adj.裸体的；n.裸体者，裸体艺术品 | |
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swarms
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| 蜂群，一大群( swarm的名词复数 ) | |
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vessel
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| n.船舶；容器，器皿；管，导管，血管 | |
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incisions
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| n.切开，切口( incision的名词复数 ) | |
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32
ferments
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| n.酵素( ferment的名词复数 )；激动；骚动；动荡v.（使）发酵( ferment的第三人称单数 )；（使）激动；骚动；骚扰 | |
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ferment
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| vt.使发酵；n./vt.（使）激动，（使）动乱 | |
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bazaars
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| （东方国家的）市场( bazaar的名词复数 )； 义卖； 义卖市场； （出售花哨商品等的）小商品市场 | |
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bazaar
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| n.集市，商店集中区 | |
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regiment
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| n.团，多数，管理；v.组织，编成团，统制 | |
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bungalow
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| n.平房，周围有阳台的木造小平房 | |
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smuggle
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| vt.私运；vi.走私 | |
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pint
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manly
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| adj.有男子气概的；adv.男子般地，果断地 | |
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bass
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| n.男低音(歌手)；低音乐器；低音大提琴 | |
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hemp
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| n.大麻；纤维 | |
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perpendicular
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| adj.垂直的，直立的；n.垂直线，垂直的位置 | |
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adventurous
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| adj.爱冒险的；惊心动魄的，惊险的，刺激的 | |
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paupers
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| n.穷人( pauper的名词复数 )；贫民；贫穷 | |
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transgressor
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| n.违背者 | |
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celebrated
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| adj.有名的，声誉卓著的 | |
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malignant
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| adj.恶性的，致命的；恶意的，恶毒的 | |
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lobsters
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| 龙虾( lobster的名词复数 )； 龙虾肉 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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duel
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| n./v.决斗；(双方的)斗争 | |
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truthful
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| adj.真实的，说实话的，诚实的 | |
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tipple
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| n.常喝的酒；v.不断喝，饮烈酒 | |
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Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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effervesces
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| v.冒气泡，起泡沫( effervesce的第三人称单数 ) | |
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champagne
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| n.香槟酒；微黄色 | |
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lethal
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| adj.致死的；毁灭性的 | |
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beverages
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| n.饮料( beverage的名词复数 ) | |
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shrub
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| n.灌木，灌木丛 | |
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twigs
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| 细枝，嫩枝( twig的名词复数 ) | |
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steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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drowsy
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| adj.昏昏欲睡的，令人发困的 | |
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infusion
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| n.灌输 | |
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intoxicating
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| a. 醉人的,使人兴奋的 | |
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lawful
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| adj.法律许可的，守法的，合法的 | |
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impair
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| v.损害，损伤；削弱，减少 | |
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hilarity
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| n.欢乐；热闹 | |
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68
rogues
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| n.流氓( rogue的名词复数 )；无赖；调皮捣蛋的人；离群的野兽 | |
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followers
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| 追随者( follower的名词复数 )； 用户； 契据的附面； 从动件 | |
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scotch
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| n.伤口，刻痕；苏格兰威士忌酒；v.粉碎，消灭，阻止；adj.苏格兰(人)的 | |
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procurable
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| adj.可得到的，得手的 | |
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72
cork
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| n.软木，软木塞 | |
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73
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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literally
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| adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实 | |
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75
stammerer
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| n.口吃的人；结巴 | |
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stammering
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| v.结巴地说出( stammer的现在分词 ) | |
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77
ginger
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| n.姜，精力，淡赤黄色；adj.淡赤黄色的；vt.使活泼，使有生气 | |
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retailers
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| 零售商，零售店( retailer的名词复数 ) | |
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proprietor
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| n.所有人；业主；经营者 | |
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80
sufficiently
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| adv.足够地，充分地 | |
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potent
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| adj.强有力的，有权势的；有效力的 | |
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gulp
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| vt.吞咽，大口地吸（气）；vi.哽住；n.吞咽 | |
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83
gasped
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| v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
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84
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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doorway
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| n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径 | |
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86
pious
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| adj.虔诚的；道貌岸然的 | |
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exclamation
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| n.感叹号，惊呼，惊叹词 | |
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strictly
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| adv.严厉地，严格地；严密地 | |
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prescription
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| n.处方，开药；指示，规定 | |
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90
overhauled
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| v.彻底检查( overhaul的过去式和过去分词 )；大修；赶上；超越 | |
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scented
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| adj.有香味的；洒香水的；有气味的v.嗅到(scent的过去分词) | |
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mammoth
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| n.长毛象；adj.长毛象似的，巨大的 | |
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