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CHAPTER I
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 The joke was on Mark Tidd!

All four of us, Mark, Plunk Smalley, Binney Jenks, and Tallow Martin, which is me, stood and looked at the big, ramshackle summer hotel and then looked at one another—and three of us grinned. Grinned, did I say? Maybe it started out with a grin, but it ended up with us rolling on the grass and yelling. For the hotel was closed tight, and anybody with half an eye could see it hadn’t been opened for years!

The three of us who laughed didn’t include Mark Tidd. He didn’t laugh. He looked as if he was attending three funerals at once and trying to do his duty by all of them. He was flabbergasted—and that’s the first time I ever saw him in that shape. The whole hundred and sixty pounds of him was flabbergasted. His little eyes looked sort of dazed; his jaw1 dropped till his fat cheeks stretched out almost thin, and he didn’t have a word to say.

Was the joke on him? Well, I should say! Here he had brought us all the way from Michigan to Vermont to spend our vacation in this summer hotel in the mountains—and the hotel hadn’t been running since Ethan Allen licked the British! Now I know why the driver who brought us over had chuckled2 so much, and why everybody else in the little town had seemed to know something funny that they didn’t want to tell us as soon as we told them where we were going.

I don’t blame them. I’d have laughed, too. Think of us out there at Lake Ravona, ten miles from town—and pretty nearly a million miles from Wicksville, where we lived. Think of us there, and then think about the hotel being shut up and ready to fall down—and us hungry and likely to keep on being hungry, with no chance to get anything to eat. It had cost each of us close to twenty dollars railroad fare to get there, and it would cost that much to get home again—with nothing to show for it. Why, the jokers at the grocery would never have done laughing at us! Life would be close to unbearable4, and Mark Tidd’s reputation for smartness would be hit so hard it would pretty nearly be a total wreck5.

We three finished up laughing and waited to see what Mark would have to say. In a minute his face pulled back into shape and he began to grin, too. That was one fine thing about Mark—he was ready to own up when the horse was on him, and to laugh just as loud as anybody else.

“It l-l-looks,” says he, stuttering worse than he had for a month back—“it looks l-like that advertisin’ book wasn’t quite up to d-d-date.” He fumbled6 in his pocket and brought out a little booklet with a picture on the cover of it and began studying it. “Um!” says he, and then he sat down ker-plump and laughed so he shook all over like a plate of jelly. “Six years old. Six. Wonder how they kept it s-s-so clean in the depot7.”

We had found the book in the depot one day when we were down visiting with old Sam Clarke, the agent, and it had got us all excited by what it said about fishing and mountains and deer in the woods and such like. It sounded like about the best place in the world to go—and we’d never stopped to see when it was printed. Six years! The hotel didn’t look like it had been run for twenty-six.

Even Mrs. Tidd hadn’t noticed, and she is one of the most noticing women you ever heard of. She hadn’t noticed, and she had liked the place as well as we did—so much that she got our mothers to let us go with Mark. Mr. Tidd was paying our expenses. He was rich now because he had invented a turbine engine, and, because we had helped a little once when some men had gotten his model away from him, he was going to send us all to college, and every little while he did something fine for us—like paying for this vacation trip.

“Well,” says I, “what next?”

“Better climb back into the wagon8 and make for home,” says Plunk Smalley.

Mark wrinkled up his nose and looked out at the lake. “D-don’t exactly fancy goin’ home like this,” he says.

“Nothin’ else to do,” says Binney Jenks.

Mark turned to the man who drove us out. “Kind of a humorous feller, ain’t you?” he says, and the man grinned, not mean, but like he was enjoying himself and wouldn’t mind being right friendly.

“I calc’late to know a joke when I see one,” says he.

“This is one, all r-right,” says Mark; “but maybe we can pull some of the laugh out of it if we can get a good holt onto it.... Who owns this l-lumber-pile?”

“Man named Ames.”

“What kind of a man is he?”

“Takes after you for flesh, and lets folks call him Jim,” says the driver.

“Live in town?”

“Yes.”

“Guess we better call on Mr. Ames then,” says Mark. “Pile into the wagon, f-fellers.”

“What’s the idea?” I asked him.

“’Ain’t g-got that far yet,” says Mark.

That was the way with him. You couldn’t get anything out of him till he was ready to tell you. You could ask questions all day without finding out a thing. So we got into the wagon and drove back the ten miles to town. The driver stopped in front of a big white house.

“This here’s Ames’s place,” says he, “and there’s Jim.”

A fat man was working in the garden. He was not only fat, but tall and wide across the shoulders. The fat was mostly in front and from his chin to his legs he looked just like a whopping-big egg. There was a cane9 hanging to his suspenders, I noticed.

He turned around to see who was stopping, and after squinting10 at us a moment through colored glasses he dropped his hoe, reached for his cane, and came hobbling toward us. He was lame3. One of his legs—the left one—was stiff at the knee. He leaned on his cane and sort of balanced himself by holding his right hand on his hip11. It made him come at you side on.

I was so interested in his gait that I didn’t notice his face till he was close by. Then I guessed I knew why the fellows all called him Jim. He was the sort of man everybody would call Jim even if his name happened to be Methuselah. His face was red—not the way Mark Tidd’s cheeks are red, but red like a box-car. He had three chins in view and I suspected a couple more hidden by his shirt. There was a little scraggly mustache—hardly enough of it to pay him for keeping it, and right above it was a nose. A nose, did I say? It was more like a monument. It was the kind of nose folks call a pug, but this was a grown-up pug. It had got its growth. If county fairs were to give prizes for the biggest pug noses Mr. Ames would have the world’s championship. He had on a little linen12 cap that looked as if he’d borrowed it from some boy.

“Howdy!” says he, and smiled—no, grinned.

“Howdy, Jim!” says our driver. “Some boarders just come in from the Ravona House.”

“Whoo-oo-ssh!” says Mr. Ames, and stared at Mark. “Didn’t stay long, eh? Board didn’t suit, maybe.”

“’Twasn’t the b-board, exactly,” says Mark, “though I’ve seen a better t-t-table set. What we complain of is the crowds. We came to a quiet p-place. Didn’t want to get in a jam. Soon’s we saw folks elbowin’ one another all over the p-place we decided13 we couldn’t s-stay.”

“Git out of that wagon,” says Mr. Ames, “and set down.”

We did, while Mr. Ames grinned at us like we were good to eat.

“What d’ you calc’late on doin’?” says he.

“’Ain’t got no f-further than calc’latin’,” says Mark.

Mr. Ames pounded on the porch with his cane and shouted: “Ma, here’s four boys—and one of ’em special size—to stay to supper. Don’t forget the pie.”

That sounded pretty good to all of us, I can tell you. Twenty miles of driving with nothing to eat is enough to make a fellow dance a jig14 at the mention of a baked potato.

“Mr. Ames,” says Mark, “we ’ain’t never set anything on fire.”

“No?” says Mr. Ames, wondering what Mark was getting at, I expect.

“Nor we ’ain’t ever been arrested for doin’ d-d-damage to property.”

“You s’prise me,” says Mr. Ames.

“And we d-don’t want the whole town of Wicksville laughin’ at us.”

“Don’t wonder at it a mite15.”

“We can c-cook.”

“And eat,” says Mr. Ames, with another grin.

“Folks say we can take care of ourselves.”

“I’d take their word for it.”

“Then, Mr. Ames, will you rent us your ho-ho-hotel?”

Well, sir! You could have knocked me over with a feather. You could have done it with half a feather, and wouldn’t have had to hit very hard, either. Rent his hotel! I thought Mark had been hit by sunstroke.

“Calc’late to run it? Calc’late to go into the hotel business?”

“Calc’late to l-live in it,” says Mark. “Just the four of us.”

“Hum! Occupy the whole thirty-nine bedrooms, besides the office and kitchens and dinin’-room and other parts of the buildin’?”

“We want the whole b-business. Don’t want anybody else there.”

Mr. Ames scratched his head and felt of his prize nose and eyed Mark and the rest of us. “Shouldn’t be s’prised if we could make a deal,” says he.

“How much?” says Mark, business-like as a banker.

“Calc’late to fish?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Calc’late to ketch any?”

“If they’re there.”

“Rent’ll be five pounds of bass16, live weight, to be paid every Thursday. I’ll come after it.” He pounded on the porch with his cane again and bellowed17: “Ma, I’ve rented the hotel. Got the fixin’s for four beds?”

“Got the fixin’s for forty,” says Ma Ames from the back of the house somewheres. “Attic’s full of beddin’ from that tarnation summer-resort place.”

“There.... How about dishes and cookin’-tools, ma?”

“Barn loft’s full of ’em.”

“Want to move in right away, eh?”

“Yes, sir,” says Mark.

“Haul you and your stuff out to-morrow. Included in the rent,” says Mr. Ames.

Mark started in to thank him, and so did the rest of us, but it made him bashful and fidgety and you could see he didn’t like it. Just in the middle of it Ma Ames called, “Supper,” and in we went to one of the best and biggest meals of victuals18 I ever tried to get the best of.


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1 jaw 5xgy9     
n.颚,颌,说教,流言蜚语;v.喋喋不休,教训
参考例句:
  • He delivered a right hook to his opponent's jaw.他给了对方下巴一记右钩拳。
  • A strong square jaw is a sign of firm character.强健的方下巴是刚毅性格的标志。
2 chuckled 8ce1383c838073977a08258a1f3e30f8     
轻声地笑( chuckle的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • She chuckled at the memory. 想起这件事她就暗自发笑。
  • She chuckled softly to herself as she remembered his astonished look. 想起他那惊讶的表情,她就轻轻地暗自发笑。
3 lame r9gzj     
adj.跛的,(辩解、论据等)无说服力的
参考例句:
  • The lame man needs a stick when he walks.那跛脚男子走路时需借助拐棍。
  • I don't believe his story.It'sounds a bit lame.我不信他讲的那一套。他的话听起来有些靠不住。
4 unbearable alCwB     
adj.不能容忍的;忍受不住的
参考例句:
  • It is unbearable to be always on thorns.老是处于焦虑不安的情况中是受不了的。
  • The more he thought of it the more unbearable it became.他越想越觉得无法忍受。
5 wreck QMjzE     
n.失事,遇难;沉船;vt.(船等)失事,遇难
参考例句:
  • Weather may have been a factor in the wreck.天气可能是造成这次失事的原因之一。
  • No one can wreck the friendship between us.没有人能够破坏我们之间的友谊。
6 fumbled 78441379bedbe3ea49c53fb90c34475f     
(笨拙地)摸索或处理(某事物)( fumble的过去式和过去分词 ); 乱摸,笨拙地弄; 使落下
参考例句:
  • She fumbled in her pocket for a handkerchief. 她在她口袋里胡乱摸找手帕。
  • He fumbled about in his pockets for the ticket. 他(瞎)摸着衣兜找票。
7 depot Rwax2     
n.仓库,储藏处;公共汽车站;火车站
参考例句:
  • The depot is only a few blocks from here.公共汽车站离这儿只有几个街区。
  • They leased the building as a depot.他们租用这栋大楼作仓库。
8 wagon XhUwP     
n.四轮马车,手推车,面包车;无盖运货列车
参考例句:
  • We have to fork the hay into the wagon.我们得把干草用叉子挑进马车里去。
  • The muddy road bemired the wagon.马车陷入了泥泞的道路。
9 cane RsNzT     
n.手杖,细长的茎,藤条;v.以杖击,以藤编制的
参考例句:
  • This sugar cane is quite a sweet and juicy.这甘蔗既甜又多汁。
  • English schoolmasters used to cane the boys as a punishment.英国小学老师过去常用教鞭打男学生作为惩罚。
10 squinting e26a97f9ad01e6beee241ce6dd6633a2     
斜视( squint的现在分词 ); 眯着眼睛; 瞟; 从小孔或缝隙里看
参考例句:
  • "More company," he said, squinting in the sun. "那边来人了,"他在阳光中眨巴着眼睛说。
  • Squinting against the morning sun, Faulcon examined the boy carefully. 对着早晨的太阳斜起眼睛,富尔康仔细地打量着那个年轻人。
11 hip 1dOxX     
n.臀部,髋;屋脊
参考例句:
  • The thigh bone is connected to the hip bone.股骨连着髋骨。
  • The new coats blouse gracefully above the hip line.新外套在臀围线上优美地打着褶皱。
12 linen W3LyK     
n.亚麻布,亚麻线,亚麻制品;adj.亚麻布制的,亚麻的
参考例句:
  • The worker is starching the linen.这名工人正在给亚麻布上浆。
  • Fine linen and cotton fabrics were known as well as wool.精细的亚麻织品和棉织品像羊毛一样闻名遐迩。
13 decided lvqzZd     
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的
参考例句:
  • This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
  • There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。
14 jig aRnzk     
n.快步舞(曲);v.上下晃动;用夹具辅助加工;蹦蹦跳跳
参考例句:
  • I went mad with joy and danced a little jig.我欣喜若狂,跳了几步吉格舞。
  • He piped a jig so that we could dance.他用笛子吹奏格舞曲好让我们跳舞。
15 mite 4Epxw     
n.极小的东西;小铜币
参考例句:
  • The poor mite was so ill.可怜的孩子病得这么重。
  • He is a mite taller than I.他比我高一点点。
16 bass APUyY     
n.男低音(歌手);低音乐器;低音大提琴
参考例句:
  • He answered my question in a surprisingly deep bass.他用一种低得出奇的声音回答我的问题。
  • The bass was to give a concert in the park.那位男低音歌唱家将在公园中举行音乐会。
17 bellowed fa9ba2065b18298fa17a6311db3246fc     
v.发出吼叫声,咆哮(尤指因痛苦)( bellow的过去式和过去分词 );(愤怒地)说出(某事),大叫
参考例句:
  • They bellowed at her to stop. 他们吼叫着让她停下。
  • He bellowed with pain when the tooth was pulled out. 当牙齿被拔掉时,他痛得大叫。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
18 victuals reszxF     
n.食物;食品
参考例句:
  • A plateful of coarse broken victuals was set before him.一盘粗劣的剩余饭食放到了他的面前。
  • There are no more victuals for the pig.猪没有吃的啦。


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