THE STORY OF THE YOUNG MAN OF TALENT.

Once upon a time there was a Young Man of Talent, whose stories were so good that the editor of the paper on which he was employed heard the Professional Humorist, who had been attached to the paper for twenty-eight years, ask the city editor, “what the deuce the old man meant by loading up the Sunday supplement with all that stuff;” and the very next night the Young Man asked if he might sign his name to his special articles in the Sunday paper. Now this was a privilege which had never been accorded to anybody who knew how to write, and the editor was[Pg 224] afraid to make an exception in favor of the Young Man for fear of bringing down upon his own head the wrath¹ of the prize-fighters, skirt-dancers, prominent citizens, and other windbags² who had always regarded signed articles as their special prerogative³.

So he made answer that the signature was usually considered a badge of shame. But the Young Man persisted in his demand until the editor was forced to give way, and the following Sunday the eyes of the Professional Humorist fell upon an article which bore the signature of the Young Man of Talent, and which was sandwiched in between a graphic⁴ description of “How I Slugged McGonegal’s Unknown,” by Rocksey McIntyre, and “The Spontaneity of Medi?val Art,” by Professor Stuffe.

A jealous, angry light gleamed in the eyes of the Professional Humorist, and he swore an awful oath to be revenged[Pg 225] on the rival who had come into the field with a variety of humor that would inevitably⁵ put an end to his own calling—that of manufacturing “crisp paragraphs”—which he had pursued without interruption for more than a quarter of a century.

Now the Professional Humorist belonged to the “Association of Old-time Funny Men,” to which nobody could gain admittance who was under fifty-five years of age or who had ever been guilty of an original piece of humor.

When one of the order wrote a crisp paragraph about a door being not a door when it happened to be ajar, it would become the duty of some fellow-member to quote it with the prefix⁶: “Billy Jaggs of the Blankburgh Banner says—” and add some refined pleasantry of this sort: “Billy’s mouth is usually ajar when the whisky-jug goes round. How is that for high, Jaggsey, old boy?” and then the[Pg 226] crisp paragraph would be “passed along” after the fashion prevalent in the old days when American humor was struggling for popular recognition.

So the Professional Humorist communicated with his fellow funny men, and told them that unless concerted measures were taken the old-fashioned crisp paragraphs would be relegated⁷ to the obscurity shared by other features of ante-bellum journalism⁸; and, the funny men becoming alarmed, a general convention of the order was promptly⁹ called and as quickly assembled.

At this gathering¹⁰ of the comic writers various means whereby the Young Man of Talent should be destroyed were discussed.

“It would be better,” said a hoary¹¹ and solemn humorist, whose calling was indicated by a cane¹² made in imitation of a length of stovepipe, with a handle of goat’s horn, “much better, I think, if we[Pg 227] were to prevail upon him to enter Society as a literary celebrity¹³, and make a practice of attending kettledrums and receptions, where he will be encouraged by women to talk about his literary methods, and where he will be tempted¹⁴ to partake of the tea and cake and weak punch which have ruined so many brilliant careers. If, in addition to that, we can arrange with the Society reporters to publish his name among ‘the well-known literary and artistic¹⁵ people present’ as often as possible, his descent will be swift and sure.”

“There is one thing necessary to make that combination invincible,” said a paragrapher whose sound logic¹⁶ and conservatism had long since gained for him the name of “The Sage¹⁷ of Schoharie”: “we must call the attention of somebody like Mr. Aldrich or Mr. Howells to his work, and induce him to express a favorable opinion of it. If Mr. Aldrich would only[Pg 228] say that he has a ‘dainty style,’ or if Mr. Howells would praise him for his ‘subtle delineation¹⁸ of character,’ his book, which is coming out in a few weeks, would fall flat on the market. Then, if he showed any signs of life after that, Edmund Gosse might administer the coup¹⁹ de grace with a favorable review in some English fortnightly.”

These measures having received the indorsement of every member of the union, it was resolved that they should be promptly carried through; but before the meeting adjourned²⁰ the Professional Humorist arose and begged to be allowed to say a few words.

“I have no doubt,” he said, “that the course we have decided²¹ upon will result in driving this newcomer from the field of letters; but if it does not I have a plan in my head which has never failed yet. It has already, within my own memory, driven several of our most promising[Pg 229] writers to the Potter’s Field, and if desperate measures become necessary we will try it, but only as a last resort.”

A year rolled by, and again the members of the union assembled for their annual convention.

As they passed through Fourteenth Street on their way to the hall of meeting, a sad-eyed, despondent²² figure stood on the sidewalk and endeavored to sell them lead-pencils at their own price. A smile of triumph lit up the face of the Professional Humorist as he directed the attention of his fellow-members to the mournful, ill-clad wretch²³ on the curb-stone. “I told you my scheme would work,” he said.

It was even so. Neither the kettledrums nor the commendations of the wiseacres of literature had had any effect on the Young Man of Talent, who had gone steadily²⁴ on with his work, unspoiled[Pg 230] by feminine flattery, and heedless of the praise or commendations of the critics.

It was only when these attempts upon his reputation and popularity had failed that the Professional Humorist threw himself into the breach²⁵ with a paragraph—which was given instant and wide publicity²⁶ by the rest of the Association—stating that the gifted young writer was the Dickens of America.

And then the Young Man of Talent tottered²⁷ to his fall.

1 wrath   

n.愤怒，愤慨，暴怒

参考例句：

• His silence marked his wrath. 他的沉默表明了他的愤怒。
• The wrath of the people is now aroused. 人们被激怒了。

2 windbags   

n.风囊，饶舌之人( windbag的名词复数 )

参考例句：

3 prerogative   

n.特权

参考例句：

• It is within his prerogative to do so.他是有权这样做的。
• Making such decisions is not the sole prerogative of managers.作这类决定并不是管理者的专有特权。

4 graphic   

adj.生动的，形象的，绘画的，文字的，图表的

参考例句：

• The book gave a graphic description of the war.这本书生动地描述了战争的情况。
• Distinguish important text items in lists with graphic icons.用图标来区分重要的文本项。

5 inevitably   

adv.不可避免地；必然发生地

参考例句：

• In the way you go on,you are inevitably coming apart.照你们这样下去，毫无疑问是会散伙的。
• Technological changes will inevitably lead to unemployment.技术变革必然会导致失业。

6 prefix   

n.前缀；vt.加…作为前缀；置于前面

参考例句：

• We prefix "Mr."to a man's name.我们在男士的姓名前加“先生”。
• In the word "unimportant ","un-" is a prefix.在单词“unimportant”中“un”是前缀。

7 relegated   

v.使降级( relegate的过去式和过去分词 )；使降职；转移；把…归类

参考例句：

• She was then relegated to the role of assistant. 随后她被降级做助手了。
• I think that should be relegated to the garbage can of history. 我认为应该把它扔进历史的垃圾箱。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

8 journalism   

n.新闻工作，报业

参考例句：

• He's a teacher but he does some journalism on the side.他是教师，可还兼职做一些新闻工作。
• He had an aptitude for journalism.他有从事新闻工作的才能。

9 promptly   

adv.及时地，敏捷地

参考例句：

• He paid the money back promptly.他立即还了钱。
• She promptly seized the opportunity his absence gave her.她立即抓住了因他不在场给她创造的机会。

10 gathering   

n.集会，聚会，聚集

参考例句：

• He called on Mr. White to speak at the gathering.他请怀特先生在集会上讲话。
• He is on the wing gathering material for his novels.他正忙于为他的小说收集资料。

11 hoary   

adj.古老的；鬓发斑白的

参考例句：

• They discussed the hoary old problem.他们讨论老问题。
• Without a word spoken,he hurried away,with his hoary head bending low.他什么也没说，低着白发苍苍的头，匆匆地走了。

12 cane   

n.手杖，细长的茎，藤条；v.以杖击，以藤编制的

参考例句：

• This sugar cane is quite a sweet and juicy.这甘蔗既甜又多汁。
• English schoolmasters used to cane the boys as a punishment.英国小学老师过去常用教鞭打男学生作为惩罚。

13 celebrity   

n.名人，名流；著名，名声，名望

参考例句：

• Tom found himself something of a celebrity. 汤姆意识到自己已小有名气了。
• He haunted famous men, hoping to get celebrity for himself. 他常和名人在一起, 希望借此使自己获得名气。

14 tempted   

v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词）

参考例句：

• I was sorely tempted to complain, but I didn't. 我极想发牢骚，但还是没开口。
• I was tempted by the dessert menu. 甜食菜单馋得我垂涎欲滴。

15 artistic   

adj.艺术(家)的，美术(家)的；善于艺术创作的

参考例句：

• The picture on this screen is a good artistic work.这屏风上的画是件很好的艺术品。
• These artistic handicrafts are very popular with foreign friends.外国朋友很喜欢这些美术工艺品。

16 logic   

n.逻辑(学)；逻辑性

参考例句：

• What sort of logic is that?这是什么逻辑？
• I don't follow the logic of your argument.我不明白你的论点逻辑性何在。

17 sage   

n.圣人，哲人；adj.贤明的，明智的

参考例句：

• I was grateful for the old man's sage advice.我很感激那位老人贤明的忠告。
• The sage is the instructor of a hundred ages.这位哲人是百代之师。

18 delineation   

n.记述；描写

参考例句：

• Biography must to some extent delineate characters.传记必须在一定程度上描绘人物。
• Delineation of channels is the first step of geologic evaluation.勾划河道的轮廓是地质解译的第一步。

19 coup   

n.政变；突然而成功的行动

参考例句：

• The monarch was ousted by a military coup.那君主被军事政变者废黜了。
• That government was overthrown in a military coup three years ago.那个政府在3年前的军事政变中被推翻。

20 adjourned   

（使）休会， （使）休庭( adjourn的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• The court adjourned for lunch. 午餐时间法庭休庭。
• The trial was adjourned following the presentation of new evidence to the court. 新证据呈到庭上后，审讯就宣告暂停。

21 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

22 despondent   

adj.失望的，沮丧的，泄气的

参考例句：

• He was up for a time and then，without warning,despondent again.他一度兴高采烈，但忽然又情绪低落下来。
• I feel despondent when my work is rejected.作品被拒后我感到很沮丧。

23 wretch   

n.可怜的人，不幸的人；卑鄙的人

参考例句：

• You are really an ungrateful wretch to complain instead of thanking him.你不但不谢他，还埋怨他，真不知好歹。
• The dead husband is not the dishonoured wretch they fancied him.死去的丈夫不是他们所想象的不光彩的坏蛋。

24 steadily   

adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地

参考例句：

• The scope of man's use of natural resources will steadily grow.人类利用自然资源的广度将日益扩大。
• Our educational reform was steadily led onto the correct path.我们的教学改革慢慢上轨道了。

25 breach   

n.违反，不履行；破裂；vt.冲破，攻破

参考例句：

• We won't have any breach of discipline.我们不允许任何破坏纪律的现象。
• He was sued for breach of contract.他因不履行合同而被起诉。

26 publicity   

n.众所周知，闻名；宣传，广告

参考例句：

• The singer star's marriage got a lot of publicity.这位歌星的婚事引起了公众的关注。
• He dismissed the event as just a publicity gimmick.他不理会这件事，只当它是一种宣传手法。

27 tottered   

v.走得或动得不稳( totter的过去式和过去分词 )；踉跄；蹒跚；摇摇欲坠

参考例句：

• The pile of books tottered then fell. 这堆书晃了几下，然后就倒了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The wounded soldier tottered to his feet. 伤员摇摇晃晃地站了起来。 来自《简明英汉词典》