She augments7 her complainings and emphasizes her despair. All her friends and all her relatives, her physicians and her confidants, know her sad lot and have no new words of consolation8 for her, only conventional phrases and stereotyped9 gestures. Because of her complainings she is becoming a nuisance to everybody. Her pain has reached that dangerous point where the tragic10 becomes the comic. In vain she tries to move her hearers by heightening the dramatic description of the unalterableness of her situation. She becomes aware that human beings can become partisans11 only in the presence of fresh conflicts and very quickly become accustomed to others’ unhappiness. And this, of course, gives her additional reason for thinking herself lonesome, misunderstood, and forsaken12, and thus a new melody is added to her stale song. If she had before this compared herself with her happier sisters, her consciousness of still possessing youth and beauty afforded her a certain comfort. Hope gently whispered to her: “You can still change it! you are still [Pg 193]young and desirable! you will yet find a man to appreciate you and to give you the happiness which the other destroyed!”
Gradually there crept into her embittered13 soul envy of the youth and beauty of others and augmented14 the poison of her depression. There was no longer any escape from this labyrinth15 of woes16! In whatever direction she looked, she saw only grey clouds; everywhere she saw dark and confused roads losing themselves in the darkness of a ruined life. One would suppose that by this time she would have resolutely18 determined19 to end her sufferings and remove herself from a world which had nothing more to offer her.
One who supposes any such thing is not acquainted with this type of person. He has not yet discovered the secret of “sweet sorrow,” the delights of self-pity. This woman, too, found her pleasure in the tragic role which life had temporarily assigned her and to which she was clinging spasmodically with all her power. She virtually drank herself drunk with the thought that she was the unhappiest woman in the world. She directed over her own wounds all the streams of love that flowed from her warm heart. She tore these wounds open again and again so as to be unhappy and pity herself. If it did not sound so paradoxical, I would say that this woman would be unhappy if one deprived her of her unhappiness. I wonder whether an unconscious religious motive20 did not play a role in this self-assumed suffering. Did [Pg 194]she hope for compensation in the life to come for all the happiness that she had missed in this world? Was her everlasting21 looking backwards22 only a voluntarily maintained attitude behind which was concealed23 the anticipation24 of never-ending looking into a radiant eternity25?
All my attempts to restore her to an active life failed. The surest of all therapeutic26 remedies, work, failed because she never took the matter seriously. She stubbornly maintained herself in the position of looking backward, and from this position no power on earth could move her....
One who looks upon the Bible as a poetic27 account of eternal conflicts and has learned to recognise the symbolic28 significance of legendary29 lore30 will have no difficulty in recognizing in the story of Sodom and Gomorrah the significance of looking backwards. The woman who was converted into a pillar of salt because she looked back into the burning city—what a wonderful symbolisation of losing oneself in the past! Everyone has his secret Sodom, his Gomorrah, his disappointments, his defeats, his fearful judgments31! Woe17 to him who looks back into the dangerous moments of his life! And does not one of von Schwab’s legends warn us against the dangers of past terrors? Does it not tell us that we are flying madly over abysses, that the perils32 of the road are concealed and that it is dangerous to retain in the mind’s eye the perils that are past?
There will be no difficulty now in comprehending my formula that to be well is to have overcome one’s past. I know of no better means of distinguishing the neurotic33 from the healthy. The healthy person also suffers disappointments—who can escape them?—he too suffers many a fall when he thinks he is rushing on to victory, but he will raise the tattered34 flag of hope and continue on his way to the assured goal. The neurotic does not get done with his past. All experiences have a tenfold seriousness for him. Whereas the healthy person throws off the burden of past disappointments, and occasionally even transforms the recollection of them to sources of pleasure, and is stimulated35 to new efforts by the contrasts between the pleasureable present and the sad past, the nervous person includes in his burdensome present the difficulties of the past. His memories become more and more oppressive from year to year.
It is for all the world as if the neurotic’s soul were covered over with some dangerous adhesive36 material. Everything sticks to it and does not permit itself to be loosed from it, becomes organically united to it, wraps itself up in it, blinds his clear vision and cripples his freedom of motion. This not getting done with the past betrays itself also in his inability to forgive, in his craving37 for revenge and in his resentments38. A neurotic is capable of reproaching one for some trifling39 humiliation40 or for some unconsidered word many years after the event. He [Pg 196]treasures up these humiliations and defeats and does not lose sight of them for a single day. It might almost be said that he enacts41 daily the whole repertoire42 of the past.
How often are we amazed to find people who continue to make the same mistakes over and over again and whom experience seems never to teach anything. Nietzsche says: “If one has character he has his experience which keeps on recurring43.” In reality all that life is capable of depends upon this ability to forget the past. Of course some experiences continue to live as lessons and warnings and go to make up that uncertain treasure which we call Experience. True greatness, however, shows itself in being able to act in spite of one’s experiences, in overcoming latent mistrust.
What would become of us if all of us permitted our unhappy experiences to operate as inhibitions! We should resemble a person who avoided an article of diet because it had once disagreed with him. Experience may be that which no one can learn unless one has been born with it: to find the appropriate mean from one’s experiences and one’s inclinations44.
The nervous individual becomes useless as far as life is concerned because his experience becomes a source of doubt for him and intensifies45 his wanting will-power. In the presence of a new task he takes his past into consideration and makes his unhappy experiences serve as warnings, hesitates, vacillates, weighs, and finally [Pg 197]does nothing. How much could any of us do if we lacked the courage to venture? What could we accomplish if we never thought the game worth the candle? I have often been enabled to prove that the neurotic’s will is weak because his will is divided. I must supplement this with the statement that his will is oppressed by the burden of his past.
Let us after this disgression turn back to the unhappy woman with whom we began. I intimated that it was within her power to alter her destiny. Virile46 and kindly47 disposed men offered her a helping48 hand. But her unhappy experience begot49 a fear of a second disillusionment. She preferred to be unhappy rather than to venture a second time and again be unhappy.
But it is not only our past unhappiness that is dangerous. Past happiness, too, must be overcome and grow pale. Who does not know persons who are ever speaking of the past, the good old days that never return? This is a particularly striking phenomenon with reference to childhood. Some people do not seem to be capable of forgetting their blissful childhood. There is an important hint here for parents and educators who wish to assure their children a beautiful childhood. One must be careful that it is not made too beautiful! Because of the pleasureable initiation50 into life the later disharmonies prove too painful and awaken51 a longing for childhood which can be fulfilled only in fruitless dreams!
Recollections must not be permitted to kill the present. We must not be permitted to be ever lured52 back into the past and forever to be making comparisons. Every one of us carries the key to his past about in his bosom53 and opens the secret portals in order to roam about in it during the night in his dreams. In the morning, just before awaking, he locks the shrine54 and his daily duties resume their career. But there are people who cannot tear themselves away from their dreams and are ever harkening back to the voices of the past.
In insanity55 this absorption in one’s past may easily be observed. The invalids56 become children again, with all their failings, their childish prattle57, their childish pranks58, and their childish games. They have come upon the road to childhood and lost the way so that they cannot get back again into the world of the grown-ups. They have looked backwards so long that finally they went backwards.
This “return to childhood” may also be observed in nervous people who have retained their critical faculty59. I recall a woman of forty who employed a maid to dress and undress her, also to wash her, and who did not perform certain personal functions without the company and assistance of the maid. And I must not forget to mention the twenty-four-year-old youth who was brought to me by his mother because he was incapable60 of doing any work and who was not ashamed in my presence to take a good swallow [Pg 199]of milk every five minutes from an ordinary baby’s milk-bottle. This kind of “infantilism” often attains61 grotesque62 proportions. To-day the aforementioned woman laughs at the “incomprehensible malady,” and the grown-up suckling is an industrious63 official who supports his family very comfortably. Both of them wished to defeat nature and return to childhood. Not infrequently a bodily change accompanies this mental state. The hair falls out, the features become softer, and the signs of adult masculinity undergo regressive changes. In all probability this condition is associated with certain disturbances64 of the internal metabolism65. But who can say positively66 whether the impulse to these disturbances did not proceed from the stubborn look backwards, the yearning67 for childhood, and the enraptured68 glance into the depths of the past?
All the wisdom of life consists in the manner of our forgetting. What fine overtones of the harmonies and discords69 of the past must accompany the concords70 of the day! But every day has a right to its melody. Each one lives its own life and is a preparation for the future. One who fills his day with the delights and the pains of the past murders it. Only on appropriate occasions may we, must we, direct our eyes backwards, survey the path we have traversed, and again concentrate our gaze on the milestones71 of memory.
All ye who are ever bewailing your lot and are [Pg 200]incapable of rising above your fate—hearken unto me and know that ye no longer live, that ye died ere the law of destruction robbed ye of life! Let me tell ye what ye may find writ72 in burning letters in the firmament73 of knowledge: it is never too late! Only he has lost his life who thinks he has lost it. Forgive and forget! Drink of the lethe of work and solicitude74 for others! Ye are egoists! For even the mirror of your woes on which your eyes are riveted75 shows you only your own agonized76 image. And measure your pains by the infinity77 of pain that fills the world.
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1
narrates
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| v.故事( narrate的第三人称单数 ) | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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entrust
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| v.信赖，信托，交托 | |
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longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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laments
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| n.悲恸，哀歌，挽歌( lament的名词复数 )v.（为…）哀悼，痛哭，悲伤( lament的第三人称单数 ) | |
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sinewy
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| adj.多腱的，强壮有力的 | |
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augments
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| 增加，提高，扩大( augment的名词复数 ) | |
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consolation
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| n.安慰，慰问 | |
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stereotyped
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| adj.(指形象、思想、人物等)模式化的 | |
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tragic
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| adj.悲剧的，悲剧性的，悲惨的 | |
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partisans
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| 游击队员( partisan的名词复数 )； 党人； 党羽； 帮伙 | |
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Forsaken
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| adj. 被遗忘的, 被抛弃的 动词forsake的过去分词 | |
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embittered
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| v.使怨恨，激怒( embitter的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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Augmented
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| adj.增音的 动词augment的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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labyrinth
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| n.迷宫；难解的事物；迷路 | |
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woes
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| 困境( woe的名词复数 )； 悲伤； 我好苦哇； 某人就要倒霉 | |
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woe
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| n.悲哀，苦痛，不幸，困难；int.用来表达悲伤或惊慌 | |
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resolutely
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| adj.坚决地，果断地 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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motive
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| n.动机，目的；adv.发动的，运动的 | |
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everlasting
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| adj.永恒的，持久的，无止境的 | |
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backwards
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| adv.往回地，向原处，倒，相反，前后倒置地 | |
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concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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anticipation
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| n.预期，预料，期望 | |
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eternity
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| n.不朽，来世；永恒，无穷 | |
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therapeutic
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| adj.治疗的，起治疗作用的；对身心健康有益的 | |
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poetic
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| adj.富有诗意的，有诗人气质的，善于抒情的 | |
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symbolic
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| adj.象征性的，符号的，象征主义的 | |
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legendary
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| adj.传奇（中）的，闻名遐迩的；n.传奇（文学） | |
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lore
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| n.传说；学问，经验，知识 | |
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judgments
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| 判断( judgment的名词复数 )； 鉴定； 评价； 审判 | |
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perils
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| 极大危险( peril的名词复数 )； 危险的事（或环境） | |
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neurotic
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| adj.神经病的，神经过敏的；n.神经过敏者，神经病患者 | |
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tattered
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| adj.破旧的，衣衫破的 | |
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stimulated
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| a.刺激的 | |
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adhesive
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| n.粘合剂；adj.可粘着的，粘性的 | |
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craving
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| n.渴望,热望 | |
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resentments
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| （因受虐待而）愤恨，不满，怨恨( resentment的名词复数 ) | |
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trifling
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| adj.微不足道的；没什么价值的 | |
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humiliation
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| n.羞辱 | |
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enacts
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| 制定（法律），通过（法案）( enact的第三人称单数 ) | |
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repertoire
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| n.(准备好演出的)节目，保留剧目；(计算机的)指令表，指令系统， <美>(某个人的)全部技能；清单，指令表 | |
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recurring
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| adj.往复的，再次发生的 | |
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inclinations
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| 倾向( inclination的名词复数 )； 倾斜； 爱好； 斜坡 | |
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intensifies
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| n.（使）增强， （使）加剧( intensify的名词复数 )v.（使）增强， （使）加剧( intensify的第三人称单数 ) | |
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virile
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| adj.男性的；有男性生殖力的；有男子气概的；强有力的 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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begot
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| v.为…之生父( beget的过去式 )；产生，引起 | |
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initiation
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| n.开始 | |
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awaken
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| vi.醒，觉醒；vt.唤醒，使觉醒，唤起，激起 | |
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52
lured
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| 吸引，引诱（lure的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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shrine
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| n.圣地，神龛，庙；v.将...置于神龛内，把...奉为神圣 | |
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insanity
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| n.疯狂，精神错乱；极端的愚蠢，荒唐 | |
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invalids
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| 病人，残疾者( invalid的名词复数 ) | |
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prattle
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| n.闲谈；v.（小孩般）天真无邪地说话；发出连续而无意义的声音 | |
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pranks
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| n.玩笑，恶作剧( prank的名词复数 ) | |
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faculty
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| n.才能；学院，系；(学院或系的)全体教学人员 | |
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incapable
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| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 | |
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attains
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| （通常经过努力）实现( attain的第三人称单数 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况） | |
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grotesque
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| adj.怪诞的，丑陋的；n.怪诞的图案，怪人（物） | |
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industrious
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| adj.勤劳的，刻苦的，奋发的 | |
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disturbances
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| n.骚乱( disturbance的名词复数 )；打扰；困扰；障碍 | |
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metabolism
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| n.新陈代谢 | |
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positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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yearning
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| a.渴望的；向往的；怀念的 | |
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enraptured
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| v.使狂喜( enrapture的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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discords
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| 不和（discord的复数形式） | |
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concords
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| n.和谐，一致，和睦( concord的名词复数 ) | |
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milestones
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| n.重要事件( milestone的名词复数 )；重要阶段；转折点；里程碑 | |
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writ
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| n.命令状，书面命令 | |
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firmament
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| n.苍穹；最高层 | |
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solicitude
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| n.焦虑 | |
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riveted
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| 铆接( rivet的过去式和过去分词 )； 把…固定住； 吸引； 引起某人的注意 | |
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76
agonized
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| v.使（极度）痛苦，折磨( agonize的过去式和过去分词 )；苦斗；苦苦思索；感到极度痛苦 | |
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infinity
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| n.无限，无穷，大量 | |
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