All his life Frank had been used to talk freely to his mother, and as soon as he reached home that evening, he did not fail to tell her what had passed between Winton and himself, as far as it related to Miss Rivers.
"What a dear, noble-hearted girl she is!" he wound up by saying. "I love her to distraction6, and have done so for ever so long. Of course, twelve hundred pounds isn't to be despised, but if she hadn't a shilling I should love her just the same. She's the only girl in the world I could ever be happy with."
Mrs. Derison listened to the boy's rhodomontade with a smile which he took to be one of sympathy, but which in reality was one of bitterness. She had heard precisely7 the same sort of nonsense--in that case addressed to herself--from the lips of Frank's father a quarter of a century before; and at that time she had been simple and inexperienced enough to pin her faith to it. What had it resulted in as far as she was concerned? In Dead-sea fruit--in dust and ashes. And so would it be with any girl who might lend an ear to Frank's vows8, and entrust9 her future to his keeping; for in him Mrs. Derison recognized an exact counterpart of his father; handsome, gay, not without a certain surface cleverness; lazy and good-natured, with a manner that rarely failed to charm, but with a heart that was thoroughly10 selfish at the core, although the owner of it was totally unconscious of the fact. With such natures self-deception--unconscious self-deception--is one of the primary laws of their being.
"Yes," said Mrs. Derison, with a somewhat dubious11 air, "I do not doubt that Miss Rivers is a very charming girl, nor that you fancy yourself very deeply in love with her; and certainly, as you say, in our circumstances a fortune of twelve hundred pounds is by no means to be despised. But, on the other hand, it is not always advisable for a very young man--which you still are--to tie himself down for life, unless his future, to some extent at least, is already mapped out for him, and he is in a position to form some idea how far it may be affected12 by an early and perhaps imprudent marriage. Your future, I am sorry to say, is anything but an assured one; still, it may contain hidden possibilities of which at present you and I know nothing." Then she went on to hint darkly at certain possible contingencies13 in connection with his position at the Bank. Mr. Avison, senior, was a very old man; there was little likelihood that Mr. Avison, junior, would ever marry; Frank was a relative--though a distant one--and if only he had the sense to play his cards properly, and to wait patiently, who could say what might not come to pass? In any case, it would be well to pause and consider before committing himself seriously with any young woman, however charming she might be.
Mrs. Derison's words had the effect she intended them to have. They threw an effectual chill for the time being over Frank's love aspirations15. Hitherto he had had no faith that any special advancement16 at the Bank would accrue17 to him more than to others; indeed, it had often seemed to him that he would have stood a better chance of promotion18 had he not been a relation of his employer. Still, after all, might there not be more in his mother's hints than she was willing to let appear on the surface? He knew that she went occasionally to see old Mr. Avison, and had she not had good grounds for doing so, she would not have said as much as she had said. His brain was of the sanguine19, castle-building order, and almost unconsciously his daydreams20 began to assume an auriferous tinge14, such as they had ever lacked before. It would be as well, perhaps, not to be too precipitate21 in the matter of Hermia. She was a darling girl, and he loved her passionately22; still----. Even in his thoughts he got no farther than that.
But there came a day, two or three weeks later, when, not for the first time, Frank and Hermia found themselves on the river together. Frank pulled up stream till all the other boats that were out were left behind; then, in a quiet shallow, he fastened the painter round the root of an old tree, and prepared to enjoy a smoke. It was an afternoon in early winter. The sun was drawing towards the west, and in its softened23 radiance, Hermia sat like a creature glorified24. Never had she seemed so lovely in Frank's eyes as then. For once the fervor25 of passion overcame him; for once he flung prudence26 and all care for his worldly advancement to the winds; for once his heart spoke27 without an afterthought. A couple of minutes sufficed for him to say what he had to say, and then he paused, leaning forward towards her, his eyes glowing as they had never glowed before, his whole being instinct with an emotion which was almost as great a surprise to himself as it was to the girl sitting opposite him: for Hermia, much as she liked Frank, had not thought of him as a possible lover. She was heart-whole and fancy-free, and the revelation came on her with the shock of a great surprise.
There is no need to describe in detail the scene that followed. Frank combated Hermia's objections and scruples28 one by one, and, in the end, was provisionally accepted. The affair was to be kept a secret from everybody for twelve months, during which time they would hold themselves as being, to a certain extent, engaged to each other. At the end of that time, either of them who might so choose, would be free to break the compact; but should neither of them wish to do so, then the engagement should be formally ratified29 and made known to those whom it might concern. It was a foolish arrangement to enter into, but excusable on Hermia's part, on the score of her ignorance of the world and its ways, as well as of the possibilities of her own heart. She loved no one else, and it seemed to her that she never should. She thought to be the same always as she was at nineteen. She had known and had liked Frank for years, and would fain have had the relationship between them continue the same in the future as it had been in the past; but if it made Frank happy to love her, and if he was really sincere in wishing her to become his wife, why, in that case, she would try to love him a little in return. Yes, she actually told herself that she would try to love. Foolish girl! As if love comes by trying for! But she was soon to be made wiser, after that sweet old fashion which yet seems such a surprising fashion when first it makes itself felt and known.
Having given her word, Hermia would not revoke30 it; but the compact was one which, for her at least, had no element of happiness in it. She hated the secrecy31 which it involved, and as time went on she began to find that her heart, instead of being drawn32 closer to Frank by the bond between them, seemed rather to be repelled33 thereby34. She felt like one who had sold her freedom and got nothing in return. Then Clement35 Hazeldine appeared on the scene, and Hermia slowly awoke to the fact that she had made a terrible mistake.
Meanwhile, Frank kept on in his old happy, careless way. He loved Hermia after a fashion, and probably as much as it was in him to love anyone, while the secret between them lent a piquancy36 to the feeling he had for her which he did not fail to appreciate.
John Brancker and his sister could not help seeing something of what was going on, and smiled and talked to themselves about it; and although, as time went on, they wondered a little that Frank did not speak out, they decided to take no apparent notice, but to let the affair develop of its own accord.
But now the year was hurrying to its close, soon the last of the twelve months would be here, and Hermia began to dread37 more and more the coming of the day when she would be called upon to decide whether her engagement to Frank should be broken off, or whether the bond that held them should be drawn still closer, and so merge38 at last into that closest bond of all. That Frank would hold to his part of the engagement she had no reason to doubt. What, then, ought she to do? She could no longer hide from herself that her heart belonged not to Frank, but to another; the awakening39 had come at last, but she would have found it hard to say whether the knowledge made her happy or the reverse.
Before this time, however, Clement Hazeldine had discovered that he, too, had lost his heart; but, as he told himself not once but a hundred times, he had found Hermia too late: she belonged to another; for that there was some sort of an understanding between her and Derison he felt nearly sure, although why there should be any secrecy about it he altogether failed to comprehend. As we have already seen, he was in the habit of going to John Brancker's house twice a week, ostensibly for the purpose of forming one in a musical quintets, but the magnet which really drew him there was something far different. Then, for two brief hours he could bask40 in Hermia's loveliness, he could gaze unrebuked into the depths of her violet eyes, and listen to the music of her voice, and steep his senses in the sweet fragrance41 of her presence. Frank, in whose ears the click of a billiard ball was far sweeter music than any discoursed42 by violin and piano, looked in occasionally on the musical evenings, when he played an indifferent second to Clem's first fiddle43. He felt no jealousy44 at seeing the young Doctor so often at the Cottage; he was blessed with too good an opinion of himself to feel jealous of anyone. The limit of time would soon be reached to which he and Hermy had bound themselves by a conditional45 promise. He told himself that he still loved her as much as ever, and when the time should come for him to declare his intentions one way or the other, he felt nearly--but not quite--sure that he should say to Hermy: "I cannot live without you. Be my wife."
Such was the state of affairs when the peaceful current of events was broken by the tragic2 death of Mr. Hazeldine and the subsequent arrest of John Brancker. Then followed a terribly anxious time for Miss Brancker and her niece, during which both Clement and Frank called often at Nairn Cottage. It is in such seasons of trial that a man's real qualities are most conspicuously46 made manifest. Clement's sympathy was so evidently genuine and heartfelt; wherever it was possible to ease their cares, or transfer any portion of their trouble, however small, from their shoulders to his own, it was done so quietly and unobtrusively, that they could not feel otherwise than touched by so much devotion to them and their interests. On the other hand, Frank's sympathy was so obviously forced and unreal; the whole state of affairs was so palpably distasteful to him, that even simple-hearted Miss Brancker began to suspect that perhaps she and her brother had been misreading the young man's character all along, and had been attributing to him qualities very different from any which he really possessed47. But Frank was essentially48 a creature of the sunshine, a being to whom sickness and trouble and the thousand-and-one anxieties to which our poor humanity is liable, were utterly49 alien. When the skies began to lower and thunder filled the air, he was as much out of his element as a butterfly on a rainy day.
The year of waiting agreed upon between the two young people came to an end while John Brancker was awaiting his trial. Of course, at such a time any talk about love affairs was out of the question. By Frank the delay was hailed gladly, since it put off till a future time the necessity of arriving at a decision as to which he was still as far as ever from having made up his mind one way or the other. Far was he from suspecting that to Hermia the delay was a relief at least equal to that felt by himself.
It was a dark and anxious time for Edward Hazeldine. Knowing what he did, he felt bound to proclaim aloud his belief in John Brancker's innocence50. There was no other course open to him, and for this reason it was that, without consulting anyone, he secured the services of Mr. Burgees, the eminent51 criminal advocate, for the defence.
It was indeed very bitter to him to think that he, who had always prided himself on his rigid52 sense of justice--one of the chief maxims53 of whose life had been to do unto others as he would have them do unto him--should allow an innocent man to be cast into prison and be too timid of soul to speak the word that would have set him free. But the day had now gone by for revealing to the world, except at the last extremity54, that which his father's letter had told him. He had allowed the man to be brought in guilty by a coroner's jury, he had allowed him to be committed by the magistrates55, he had, allowed him to linger through long, weary weeks in prison with an accusation56 the most terrible of all accusations57 hanging over his head, and yet he had not opened his lips. To do so now would be moral and social suicide. He had gone so far that to turn back would be worse than to go forward. He must take the risk, happen what might. If John Brancker were acquitted58 then might all yet be well, but should the verdict go against him, then--and only then--the dread secret must be told. Not for a thousand such secrets should an innocent man go to the gallows59. After that, let ruin, hopeless and irremediable, be his portion.
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1
tragical
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| adj. 悲剧的, 悲剧性的 | |
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tragic
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| adj.悲剧的，悲剧性的，悲惨的 | |
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justified
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| a.正当的，有理的 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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distraction
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| n.精神涣散，精神不集中，消遣，娱乐 | |
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precisely
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| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
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vows
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| 誓言( vow的名词复数 )； 郑重宣布，许愿 | |
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entrust
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| v.信赖，信托，交托 | |
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thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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dubious
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| adj.怀疑的，无把握的；有问题的，靠不住的 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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contingencies
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| n.偶然发生的事故，意外事故( contingency的名词复数 )；以备万一 | |
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tinge
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| vt.(较淡)着色于，染色；使带有…气息；n.淡淡色彩，些微的气息 | |
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aspirations
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| 强烈的愿望( aspiration的名词复数 )； 志向； 发送气音； 发 h 音 | |
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advancement
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| n.前进，促进，提升 | |
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accrue
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| v.(利息等)增大，增多 | |
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promotion
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| n.提升，晋级；促销，宣传 | |
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sanguine
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| adj.充满希望的，乐观的，血红色的 | |
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daydreams
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| n.白日梦( daydream的名词复数 )v.想入非非，空想( daydream的第三人称单数 ) | |
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precipitate
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| adj.突如其来的；vt.使突然发生；n.沉淀物 | |
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passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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glorified
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| 美其名的，变荣耀的 | |
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fervor
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| n.热诚；热心；炽热 | |
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prudence
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| n.谨慎，精明，节俭 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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scruples
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| n.良心上的不安( scruple的名词复数 )；顾虑，顾忌v.感到于心不安，有顾忌( scruple的第三人称单数 ) | |
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ratified
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| v.批准，签认（合约等）( ratify的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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revoke
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| v.废除，取消，撤回 | |
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secrecy
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| n.秘密，保密，隐蔽 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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repelled
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| v.击退( repel的过去式和过去分词 )；使厌恶；排斥；推开 | |
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thereby
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| adv.因此，从而 | |
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clement
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| adj.仁慈的；温和的 | |
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piquancy
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| n.辛辣，辣味，痛快 | |
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dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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merge
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| v.(使)结合，(使)合并，(使)合为一体 | |
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awakening
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| n.觉醒，醒悟 adj.觉醒中的；唤醒的 | |
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bask
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| vt.取暖，晒太阳，沐浴于 | |
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fragrance
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| n.芬芳，香味，香气 | |
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discoursed
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| 演说（discourse的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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fiddle
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| n.小提琴；vi.拉提琴；不停拨弄，乱动 | |
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jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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conditional
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| adj.条件的，带有条件的 | |
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conspicuously
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| ad.明显地，惹人注目地 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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essentially
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| adv.本质上，实质上，基本上 | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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50
innocence
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| n.无罪；天真；无害 | |
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eminent
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| adj.显赫的，杰出的，有名的，优良的 | |
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52
rigid
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| adj.严格的，死板的；刚硬的，僵硬的 | |
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maxims
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| n.格言，座右铭( maxim的名词复数 ) | |
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54
extremity
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| n.末端，尽头；尽力；终极；极度 | |
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magistrates
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| 地方法官，治安官( magistrate的名词复数 ) | |
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56
accusation
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| n.控告，指责，谴责 | |
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57
accusations
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| n.指责( accusation的名词复数 )；指控；控告；（被告发、控告的）罪名 | |
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58
acquitted
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| 宣判…无罪( acquit的过去式和过去分词 )； 使（自己）作出某种表现 | |
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gallows
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| n.绞刑架，绞台 | |
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