"And I am glad you cared to see. But how could I, after your gentle hint? I know my weakness. If I had indulged in one glass I might have taken too many, as I am sorry has been the case in more instances than one to-night."
"You admit, then, that it is a weakness?" she said gently fixing her eyes, that were no longer cold and expressionless, upon him.
"In truth, I must admit that I have many weaknesses, Miss Martell."
"You certainly possess one element of strength, in that you recognize them. Knowledge of danger is often the best means of safety. But how is it that you are so ready to acknowledge weakness of any kind? I thought that men scoffed1 at the idea that they could be weak or in danger from any temptation."
"If they do, they either do not know themselves, or they are not honest. I do know myself, to my sorrow, and it would seem like sacrilege to me not to be truthful2 and sincere with you. And yet it is when I am with you that I most despise myself."
"How, then, can you endure my presence?" she asked, with a shy, half-mischievous glance.
He flushed slightly, and tried to disguise a deeper meaning with a slight laugh, as he said, "If I were shut out of Eden, I should often be tempted3 to look over the hedge."
She did not reply at once, nor lift her eyes to his, but the color deepened upon her cheeks; and if he had seen the expression of her averted4 face, his might have appeared more hopeful.
After a moment she turned and said, with a smile, "I think the fact that you would like to look over the hedge a very promising5 sign. It proves that you regret our lost Eden purity, and would like to possess it again. If you will only let your wishes develop into right action, instead of looking wistfully over the hedge, you may be welcomed within the gate of the better Paradise."
He looked at her searchingly, but she again turned away her face, and would not meet his eye. After a moment, he said, "I do not think you used the pronoun 'our,' correctly. There is nothing akin6 between my moral state and yours."
"Yes, there is," she replied earnestly. "If you struggle as hard to do right as I do, you are trying very hard indeed."
With a quick glance of surprise he said, "It has ever seemed to me that you were developing as naturally and inevitably7 as a moss-rose."
"Nonsense!" she answered, a little abruptly8. "I am as human as you are. I have doubtless had advantages over you in being more sheltered and less tempted. But in a world like ours, and with natures like ours, every one must struggle hard who would live a good life. Even then we need Divine help."
They had now passed into a large conservatory9, where they supposed they were alone. He took her hand and said, with a manly10 sincerity11 that made his face almost as noble as hers was beautiful: "Miss Martell, you are holier than I am. You are as much above me as heaven is above the earth. And yet, because you have not said to me, 'Stand aside, for I am holier than thou'; because you have made a claim, which I can scarcely understand, of kindred weakness,—of like need of effort to do right,—you have given me a little hope that possibly at some distant day I may find a way out of my doubts and weaknesses. I should like to be a true and believing man."
"Please do not think that I have it in my heart to say 'Stand aside' to any one. Such a spirit is most unchristian, and in me would be most unwarranted. Do not think I meant that when I repulsed12 Mr. Brently. He has forfeited13 every right to the title of gentleman. I believe he is utterly14 bad, and he shows no wish to be otherwise; and I was disgusted by the flattering attentions he received from those with whom he had no right to associate at all. When will society get beyond its vulgar worship of wealth! But, Mr. Harcourt, please don't talk about a 'possible way out of your doubts and weaknesses at some distant day.' You paid me the highest compliment in your power, when you refrained from wine at supper to-night. I am going to ask a personal favor. Won't you let it alone altogether? Mr. Harcourt," she added, her eyes filling with tears, "I cannot bear to think of a nature like yours becoming a slave to such an appetite, and it does seem to master those who are naturally the noblest."
He turned away to hide his own feeling, while she, with clasped hands, stood looking at him, as his good angel might. When he turned to her, he spoke15 calmly, and almost humbly16: "I will not protest too much, Miss Martell. I will make no loud and absolute promises, but it seems to me, while I stand here in your presence, I could not do a mean or ignoble17 thing again. But in that degree that I revere18 you, I distrust myself. But I pledge you my honor, that I will try to do what you ask, and more."
"You give me just the kind of promise I like best," she said, giving him her hand with a happy smile. "But I can not tell you how much I wish you could seek God's help, as simply, as believingly, as I do."
"Ah, there is the trouble," he replied, in deep dejection. "My mind is tossed upon a sea of doubt and uncertainty19." Then, as from a sudden impulse, he said, "But I could worship you. You are the most beautiful woman here tonight, but instead of making your beauty the slave of contemptible20 vanity, and employing it, like Miss Marsden and others, merely to win flattery and attention, you turn from all, and forget yourself and your own pleasure, that you may keep a man that is hardly worth saving from going to the devil. If I go, after your kindness to-night, it will be because I ought."
Here her father called her from the door. The character of the entertainment was becoming such that he was anxious to get away. As they left the conservatory, she said in a low, hasty tone, "I am not so unselfish as you think; for it would make me very unhappy if you did not become what you are capable of being."
"Since you care personally what becomes of me, you have given me a double incentive," he answered eagerly, as they passed out.
As they disappeared, Lottie Marsden stepped out from behind a large lemon-tree, with an expression upon her face quite as acid as the unripe21 fruit that had helped to conceal22 her. How she came to witness the scene described requires some explanation. As they left the supper-room, she shook De Forrest off for a time, and when Miss Martell parted from Hemstead, she joined him. After the attention he had received, she was not in as patronizing a mood as before.
"Are you willing to take a short promenade23 with such a guy as I am, Mr. Hemstead?" she asked.
"Yes, if you are willing to link yourself with so much awkwardness."
"I wish I had your grace of mind, Mr. Hemstead."
"You have no occasion to find fault with nature's gifts to you."
"I fear you think I should find much fault with myself, if not with nature. But I can hardly find fault with you after your kindly24 tact25 in the supper-room. I wanted to join your breezy, sprightly26 chat, and you gave me a chance so nicely."
"Because I wished you to join it. It was not a deed of charity, and you well repaid me. Indeed, I saw so much thought in your face, that I wanted more of the same kind."
"I think you see more than we give you credit for," she Said, looking doubtfully at him.
"'We'? who are 'we'? Yes, I am seeing a good deal here to-night. As you went to see the 'other set' a few evenings ago, I also am seeing some new phases of character."
"And some new phases in one that you had a pretty good opinion of that night. I imagine you no longer consider me 'capable of the noblest things.'"
"I have not changed my mind on that point at all, but—" and here he hesitated.
"But you are discovering that I am also capable of just the reverse."
He flushed, but said gravely, "You put my thought too strongly, Miss Marsden. It would be nearer the truth, if you care for ray opinion at all, to say that I do not understand you."
She also flushed, but said a little coldly, "I am not surprised;
I scarcely understand myself."
"I find you full of puzzling contradictions," he added.
"Since I cannot contradict you, I will seek some fallible creatures like myself"; and she vanished, leaving him as uncomfortable and puzzled as ever he had been in his life.
She had scarcely entered the parlor27 before both De Forrest and Brently sought her hand for a waltz. The latter had disgusted her before, and now he was too tipsy for even the willing blindness of girls like Addie Marchmont, so she escaped with De Forrest, but soon found that his step was out of tune28 with the music, or her own mind so preoccupied29 that their feet made discord30 with the notes. Therefore she led her subservient31 attendant into the conservatory, and got rid of him for a time by the following ruse32.
"I dropped something in the supper-room. Please find it, and look till you do."
De Forrest's ideas were too confused for him to ask what she had lost; and once in the supper-room again, the champagne33 was so inviting34 that he, with Brently and others, finished another bottle.
With thoughts dwelling35 on Hemstead's words, she strolled to the farther end of the walk, and around into another aisle36, wishing to be alone for a few moments. It was then that Harcourt and Miss Martell entered, and before she was aware she heard the uncomplimentary reference to herself, and understood the significance of the unexpected scene.
"That is what Mr. Hemstead thinks me capable of," she thought, with tingling37 cheeks,—"making my 'beauty the slave of contemptible vanity,' and employing it merely to win flattery and attention for myself. You put it very plainly, Mr. Harcourt. I know what is your opinion of me certainly. I wish I cared as little what Mr. Hemstead thinks; and why I should care any more I'm sure I don't know. Yes, I do, too. He's a true, good man, and is the first one that ever treated me as if I were a true, good woman. But now I have made it clear to him, as well as to Harcourt and Miss Martell, what I really am. I knew what Brently was as well as the rest, and yet I smiled upon him because the others did. By this time both of my most ardent38 admirers are tipsy. What is their admiration39 worth?"
As she entered the parlors40 she saw at a glance what would be the character of the remaining hours. The sensuous41 spirit of wine would inspire the gayety and intensify42 the natural excitement of the occasion. Heretofore she could join in a fashionable revel43 with the keenest zest44, but she could not to-night. Unconsciously Miss Martell had given her a stinging rebuke45. She had been shown how a beautiful woman might employ the power of her fascinations46 to lure47 men into purer and nobler life, as Hemstead had suggested the morning after his arrival. As she remembered that she had used her beauty only to lure men to her feet, that she might enjoy a momentary48 triumph, soon to be forgotten in other conquests, she was already more than dissatisfied with herself,—an unusual experience with Lottie Marsden.
She refused half a dozen invitations to dance, and was about ascending49 to the dressing-room, when Harcourt met her in the hall and said, "I think I had better send De Forrest home. Hemstead will go with him."
"What is the matter with Julian?"
"Well, they say he mistook a decanter of brandy for wine. At any rate he is under the table, 'looking for something of yours,' he says; though what he does not say or does not know. What's more, we can't get him up, for he says you told him not to leave the dining-room till he found it. I fear we shall have to use force, unless you can manage him."
Then with a. burning flush of shame she remembered how, in her wish to be alone, she had sent him into temptation, instead of trying to shield and protect, as had Miss Martell in the case of Harcourt, whose abstemiousness50 had excited the surprise of more than one. But without a word she went directly to the supper-room; and there witnessed a scene that she never forgot.
The elegant De Forrest was crawling about the floor, uttering her name continually in connection with the most maudlin51 sentiment, and averring52 with many oaths that he would never rise till he had found what she had lost.
Brently, almost equally drunk, sat near, convulsed with laughter, saying with silly iteration, "He's looking for Miss Marsden's heart."
Mrs. Byram and her son stood helplessly by, their manner showing that their wish to be polite was almost mastered by their disgust. Hemstead, who was trying to get De Forrest up, had just given a stern rebuke to one of the giggling53 waiters as Lottie entered.
It did not take her over a moment to comprehend all. While her
face was crimson54, she acted decidedly and with a. certain dignity.
Going directly to De Forrest she said, "Julian, I have found what
I lost. Get up and come with me."
His habitual56 deference57 to her wishes and words served him now. Her tone and manner were quiet but very firm and positive, and he at once sought to obey. Hemstead and Harcourt helped him to his feet.
"I am going home, Julian, and wish you to go with me," she continued in the same tone.
"Certainly (hic) my dear (hic) I'll do anything (hic) in the world (hic) or anywhere else for you."
A look of intense disgust flitted across her face, but she turned, and said emphatically to the others: "I am more to blame for this than he. I sent him here some time since, when I knew, or ought to have known, that he should have been kept away from temptation. May I trespass58 so far upon your kindness as to ask all present to remain silent in regard to this scene."
"I know little of etiquette," said Hemstead, "but surely any one would fail utterly in true courtesy, did they not accede59 to that request."
"Thank you, Mr. Hemstead," said Lottie, with a look he did not soon forget. "Will you order the sleigh to the door? Mr. Harcourt, will you get Mr. De Forrest's hat and coat?"
The door leading into the parlor had been closed and locked as soon as the trouble commenced, and thus the guests were ignorant of the disgraceful scene.
"Julian, I wish you to sit quietly here till I return," said Lottie, in the most decided55 manner.
He had sense enough left to know that something was wrong, and that his safest course was to yield to her. So, muttering, maudlin, and dishevelled, he sat almost helplessly in the chair where he was placed, with not a trace of his former elegance60 left.
Lottie looked at him a second, with a strange expression, then, taking Mrs. Byram aside, asked,
"Will you be so kind as to have the doors of the parlors leading into the hall closed, as if accidentally, when we pass out?" Adding, "I think if Mr. Byram can get Mr. Brently to his room now, it would also be well."
Mrs. Byram commenced many professions of regret, but Lottie merely said, "I cannot think about it now. I can only act," and she hastened away to prepare for the drive home.
A moment later De Forrest was steadied through the hall and helped into the sleigh.
"Shall I sit by him?" asked Harcourt.
"No," said Lottie, in the same decided voice. "I will take care of him. I was the cause of his trouble, and will not leave him till he is safely home. You will greatly oblige me if you will remain with Addie and Bel, and disarm61 their suspicion and that of others. Mr. Hemstead will accompany me, and we will send the sleigh back immediately."
"Miss Marsden," said Harcourt, "you are a noble hearted girl. I will do whatever you wish."
"Thank you for what you have done. That is all."
"The horses are restless; I will sit with the coachman," said Hemstead, surmising62 that Lottie would desire all the seclusion63 possible under the circumstances. He was not mistaken, for as Harcourt retired64 she said in a low tone, "You are right. I should be glad to escape now even from your eyes, that are friendly, I trust."
"Yes," he replied, with an emphasis that did her good,—"most friendly"; and they drove away through the cold white moonlight and colder and whiter snow; and to Lottie, with her burdened conscience and heavy heart, the calm night seemed more than ever like a face regarding her with cold and silent scorn.
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收听单词发音
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1
scoffed
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| 嘲笑，嘲弄( scoff的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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2
truthful
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| adj.真实的，说实话的，诚实的 | |
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3
tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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averted
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| 防止，避免( avert的过去式和过去分词 )； 转移 | |
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promising
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| adj.有希望的，有前途的 | |
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akin
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| adj.同族的，类似的 | |
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inevitably
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| adv.不可避免地；必然发生地 | |
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abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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conservatory
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| n.温室，音乐学院；adj.保存性的，有保存力的 | |
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manly
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| adj.有男子气概的；adv.男子般地，果断地 | |
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sincerity
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| n.真诚，诚意；真实 | |
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12
repulsed
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| v.击退( repulse的过去式和过去分词 )；驳斥；拒绝 | |
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13
forfeited
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| （因违反协议、犯规、受罚等）丧失，失去( forfeit的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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14
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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15
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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16
humbly
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| adv. 恭顺地，谦卑地 | |
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17
ignoble
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| adj.不光彩的，卑鄙的；可耻的 | |
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18
revere
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| vt.尊崇，崇敬，敬畏 | |
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19
uncertainty
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| n.易变，靠不住，不确知，不确定的事物 | |
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20
contemptible
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| adj.可鄙的，可轻视的，卑劣的 | |
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21
unripe
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| adj.未成熟的；n.未成熟 | |
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22
conceal
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽 | |
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promenade
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| n./v.散步 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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25
tact
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| n.机敏，圆滑，得体 | |
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sprightly
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| adj.愉快的，活泼的 | |
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parlor
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| n.店铺，营业室；会客室，客厅 | |
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28
tune
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| n.调子；和谐，协调；v.调音，调节，调整 | |
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29
preoccupied
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| adj.全神贯注的，入神的；被抢先占有的；心事重重的v.占据（某人）思想，使对…全神贯注，使专心于( preoccupy的过去式) | |
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30
discord
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| n.不和，意见不合，争论，（音乐）不和谐 | |
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31
subservient
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| adj.卑屈的，阿谀的 | |
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32
ruse
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| n.诡计，计策；诡计 | |
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33
champagne
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| n.香槟酒；微黄色 | |
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34
inviting
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| adj.诱人的，引人注目的 | |
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35
dwelling
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| n.住宅，住所，寓所 | |
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36
aisle
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| n.（教堂、教室、戏院等里的）过道，通道 | |
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37
tingling
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| v.有刺痛感( tingle的现在分词 ) | |
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38
ardent
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，强烈的，烈性的 | |
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39
admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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40
parlors
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| 客厅( parlor的名词复数 )； 起居室； （旅馆中的）休息室； （通常用来构成合成词）店 | |
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41
sensuous
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| adj.激发美感的；感官的，感觉上的 | |
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42
intensify
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| vt.加强；变强；加剧 | |
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43
revel
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| vi.狂欢作乐，陶醉；n.作乐，狂欢 | |
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44
zest
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| n.乐趣；滋味，风味；兴趣 | |
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45
rebuke
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| v.指责，非难，斥责 [反]praise | |
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46
fascinations
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| n.魅力( fascination的名词复数 )；有魅力的东西；迷恋；陶醉 | |
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47
lure
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| n.吸引人的东西，诱惑物；vt.引诱，吸引 | |
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48
momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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49
ascending
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| adj.上升的，向上的 | |
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50
abstemiousness
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| n.适中，有节制 | |
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51
maudlin
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| adj.感情脆弱的，爱哭的 | |
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52
averring
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| v.断言( aver的现在分词 )；证实；证明…属实；作为事实提出 | |
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53
giggling
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| v.咯咯地笑( giggle的现在分词 ) | |
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54
crimson
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| n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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55
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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56
habitual
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| adj.习惯性的；通常的，惯常的 | |
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57
deference
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| n.尊重，顺从；敬意 | |
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58
trespass
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| n./v.侵犯，闯入私人领地 | |
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59
accede
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| v.应允，同意 | |
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60
elegance
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| n.优雅；优美，雅致；精致，巧妙 | |
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61
disarm
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| v.解除武装，回复平常的编制，缓和 | |
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62
surmising
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| v.臆测，推断( surmise的现在分词 )；揣测；猜想 | |
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63
seclusion
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| n.隐遁，隔离 | |
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64
retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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