The milk, with a plate of bread, had been left on the floor beside her mattress3, and [Pg 102]she forced herself to eat and drink, knowing that she must collect what strength she could muster4 if her feet were to carry her away from the cottage and out of Talgwynne. To go to-day was out of the question, but she determined5 to take any chance she could get of slipping off unnoticed on the morrow.
She had no plans beyond her settled desire to turn her back on her own humiliation6 and on Susannah, who had brought it home to her. She would hide herself wherever she could, or tramp the roads as a beggar sooner than be obliged to accept the grudging7 hospitality of Heber’s cousin. The idea of waiting under those scornful eyes for the man who might never come was worse than destitution8—worse than the workhouse. As the day wore on and she was able to get up and sit by the fireside at old Moorhouse’s invitation, she formed a vague scheme of crossing the Wye and trying for shelter and employment in one [Pg 103]of the villages over the Radnorshire border. She could get no speech of the old man, for Susannah was never out of the kitchen and would hear every word she said to him, every question she put. There was a faded glimmer9 of amusement in his look, too, as it rested on her—his son’s dupe. She was more and more certain of her own part. Her only wish was never again to meet any one she had known; but the first problem of escape was beset10 with such great difficulty that she could hardly see beyond it. She knew that Susannah would let her go willingly, but she wished nobody to know so much as the direction of her own road to oblivion. Black Heber had forsaken11 her, but it was just possible that Saunders might be upon her track. She had not a tear for Saunders, though even now, amid the stress of mortified12 pain, her heart swelled13 as she thought of the shepherd. Perhaps—perhaps he loved her yet, in spite of all Susannah had said. Her eyes filled. But [Pg 104]she could not risk it and wait; her pride, once roused, had scourged14 her so cruelly that it had terrified her into slavery.
From the talk of uncle and niece she learned that Talgwynne fair would take place next day and that both were going to it. That should be her chance. She would profess15 herself too tired to accompany them, should they invite her to do so, and as soon as they should be safely gone she would make her venture. She had never been in the little town, but her country eye knew the points of the compass and the direction in which the river Wye ran. She would trust to luck and to what sagacity she had in finding her way. Talgwynne lay high, and if she followed the fall of the ground, with her face towards the river, which she had seen daily from Pencoed, she would find her bearings and be able, when she reached the Brecon high road, to ask her way to the bridge at Losbury village, over which she would get into [Pg 105]Radnorshire. The day passed slowly and she went early to her mattress in the little room. That prison should not contain her much longer.
The fair was in full swing next morning as she closed the door behind her and hurried along the by-street. The whole world had been drawn16 as one man to the centre of attraction, and she scarcely met a living creature until she was far into the country. She knew her direction well, once she was out of Talgwynne, for the Black Mountain was a landmark17 by which it was easy to guide herself. She could see the identical smooth stretch on which she had galloped18 with Heber Moorhouse, and she was soon in a lane which she felt sure must bring her down upon the high road. Stiff and weary as she still was, she pressed on with no goal but Losbury bridge and nothing but chance as a friend. Chance only stood between her and destitution.
She plodded19 on for some time, knowing [Pg 106]that she could not long keep to the beaten tracks and remain unseen; soon the dispersing20 fair would pour men, women and animals along every road and lane. The sound of some one following her on horseback made Catherine’s heart jump into her mouth. She rushed on and climbed over a gate, which was fortunately only a few paces in front, and concealed21 herself behind the hedge, crouching22 and peering between the leaves like some frightened animal. She held her breath as Charles Saunders rode past her hiding-place at the hurrying nondescript pace of one whose prudence23 forbids him to trot24 downhill while his feelings will not allow him to walk.
Saunders had lost his flushed appearance; he was pale now and his head was perfectly25 clear. As he had not fallen in with Heber while on his way from Moorhouse’s cottage, he was firmly persuaded that the shepherd had returned for Catherine before he reached it with Susannah. Though the [Pg 107]buying and selling had not abated26, and the fair would rage on for another couple of hours, he shook the dust of Talgwynne off his feet, embittered27 by his own folly28 in listening to the impudent29 woman who had made him forget what was due to himself and led him into fresh ignominy and defeat. His enmity against the shepherd was more keen than ever. His lips closed and unclosed as though in speech with his rival.
As the sound of his going died away, the girl raised herself and looked over the gate at his retreating figure. She felt as if she never wished to see a man again. They were creatures moved by some hidden spring that she could not divine nor understand—she, who stood perplexed30 on the outskirts31 of life. Passion and jealousy32 and the deep workings, set astir by womankind, of that prim33?val combat of male with male were unlearned lessons.
She rose and pursued her way along the fields, afraid to return to the lane, and [Pg 108]resolving afresh, since she had seen Charles, not to venture out upon the high-road till dusk. Then she reflected that her pocket was empty and that when dusk came her prospects34 would be no better. Her goal was Losbury bridge; but she would have to travel some way on the other side of it before she reached the village she had in her mind. There was a post office there, she knew, for she had once been in it, and she meant to ask the post-mistress if there was anybody in the place who needed a girl to do servant’s work. It was a forlorn hope, but Catherine had burned her boats; and, with the pathetic trustfulness of youth, she did not believe that the world would let her starve. For a coward, she had grown bold indeed.
The foregoing day had poured with rain, and the grass was wet and heavy. She was so determined to keep far from all thoroughfares that she was obliged to go many times out of the straight line. She [Pg 109]pushed her way through hedges and thickets35 and found herself, when the afternoon was well advanced, in sight of the road. Her feet were soaked, her boots coated with mud; and her skirts were soaked too, for a smart shower had caught her in the open. The skies had become overcast36, and she shivered as she sat resting in the seclusion37 of a hollow.
Tears began to roll down her cheeks; excitement and wounded pride and the novelty of a definite object had kept her up; but at last these guides and supporters were losing their hold and her heart was sinking in the face of the cheerless outlook. Her teeth chattered38 and her head felt like lead. When she got up she was shaking so much that she had to lean against a tree. She dared not think of the miles between her and that little village over Losbury bridge, and she could not afford to await the falling of the light as she had meant to do before trusting herself to the [Pg 110]open road. Down below her was yet one more pasture, and then she must emerge on the highway and take her chance of meeting some wayfarer39 who might recognise her. She plodded on, thinking less of that risk than of the increasing misery40 of dragging herself forward. A climb down a steep hedge-grown bank would bring her out not fifty yards from the whitewashed41 walls of a toll42-house. Half a mile east of it was Losbury bridge, spanning a reach of the river above the flat, green meadows.
She looked up and down the road as she stood on the bank and bent43 back the strong suckers in the gap she had chosen; there was not a human creature within sight. A white milestone44 was on the hither side of the white toll and the white gates which barred the way. The window stared towards her up the vacant thoroughfare after the sleepless45, vigilant46 fashion of toll-house windows. She began to scramble47 down, clinging to the tough whips of hazel; there [Pg 111]was a cluster of nuts just by her shoulder, and she paused to gather it. She was not hungry, but she might be hungry yet and thankful for so much as a few filberts. As she turned, stretching out her disengaged hand, her foot went from under her. She was not the only person who had made a passage through that gap, and the wet mud had been trodden into a slide by some one else’s heel. The springy bough48 flew upwards49, tearing itself from her grasp as she slipped and fell.
She lay at the roadside with one foot doubled beneath her. Movement brought a feeling of such deathly sickness that she raised her head only to drop it again on the moss50 of the bank. She felt sure that her leg must be broken, and, not daring to stir, forgot all but the black, imminent51 fear of pain; the moment’s despair was enough for her without the additional bewilderment of looking further.
She gathered her wits again to consider [Pg 112]how long it might be before some one passed, and she prayed for the sound of human approach as earnestly as she dreaded52 it. But for the distant bark of a dog, the encompassing53 rural life might have been extinct and she herself in the desert of Sahara.
At last she was able to look up. Her leg could still move, she found, and she got herself into a less cramped54 position. Timidly she touched her ankle; it was already swollen55, but, if it was not really broken, she might try to get as far as the toll. With the help of the tangled56 growth on the bank, she drew herself until she sat upright, and saw that a short, broad figure was standing57 in front of the gate contemplating58 her in an attitude suggesting interest, suspicion, and the power to deal forcibly with anything. The woman—if woman it were—stood, sharply outlined against the white bars, feet planted wide apart, arms akimbo, and head at an attentive59 and purposeful angle. Catherine raised [Pg 113]herself on one arm and called as loudly as she could, then, as a twinge of pain shot through her foot, she lay back once more against the bank.
A minute afterwards she raised her eyes to a round, snub-nosed face within a yard of her own. It was surmounted60 by a man’s felt hat, secured in its place by a piece of twine61 which was tied in a careful bow under the chin. The loops of the bow were drawn to exact evenness and the long ends hung down over a person shaped much like a beehive. The notion that she had never seen any one wearing so many clothes wandered across the girl’s dazed brain.
“By Pharaoh! I thought ye was market-peart!” exclaimed a voice whose depth, coming from a petticoated being, made Catherine start. “Watchin’ ye, I were, to see how soon ye’d plump down again, once ye was up.”
“I’ve hurt my foot,” said the girl, with a catch in her breath—“maybe it’s broken.”
[Pg 114]
“It’s the ’edge that’s broken,” observed the other, looking up into the gap. “Where d’ye come from?”
“Talgwynne,” replied Catherine, the zealous62 caution of her day forgotten.
“Talgwynne?” shouted her companion. “There’s a good many’ll copy ye comin’ from Talgwynne! Elijah Jones o’ the Bush went by in ’is cart not an hour since, singin’ like a bird, an’ Mrs. Jones ’oldin’ ’im so as ’e couldn’t be sprawlin’ over the ’orse’s tail. ’E’d been out three times between this and the last turnin’, so her told me. ‘By Pharaoh’! says I, ‘I’d larrup ’im’! When ’e ’eard that ’e was nigh out o’ the cart an’ over the dashboard again.”
“But I’m afeared my ankle’s broken,” said Catherine irrelevantly63.
Her face was so grey and pinched that the woman’s suspicions changed to concern; she put a stout64 arm under her and managed to raise her till she stood upright.
[Pg 115]
“Try if ye can’t ’obble,” said she, as they stood clinging together.
The girl obeyed and found that by resting her whole weight on her companion’s shoulder she could move forward, and the two set off towards the toll as best they could. It was painful work, but relief at the discovery that her bones were whole gave Catherine courage, and her white lips were taking a little colour as they neared the house. Above the conspicuous65 window was a black board which displayed in white lettering, ‘Maria Cockshow, Tollkeeper’; and as Catherine saw it she remembered hearing that a tollkeeper’s widow from Herefordshire, of whose looks and dealings rumour66 had strange tales, was in charge of one of the gates near Losbury. It was, presumably, on the shoulder of this person that she now leaned.
At their approach a white, smooth-haired dog of dubious67 ancestry68 burst from regions behind the toll, and with the indecent [Pg 116]instinct of low breeding for the disastrous69 and unusual, set about its aggravation70 by a storm of high-pitched barks. Catherine almost fell as Mrs. Cockshow ducked down without warning, and, snatching up a stone from the road, sent it thundering against the dog’s ribs71.
“That’ll ’elp ye ’ome!” said she, as the animal dived with a yell under the lowest bar of the gate.
There was a shed behind the house, with a considerable patch of garden; and the honest smell of the manure-heap proclaimed the neighbourhood of live stock to instructed noses. The dog was waiting for the two women at the door with his tail tucked in. His senseless face and the horrid72 length of leg that raised his body high above the ground did not suggest youth, and reminded the observer less of a puppy than of a foolish person on stilts73. He followed, unabashed, but without raising his tail, as Catherine and Mrs. Cockshow entered. A [Pg 117]person skilful74 to notice could have gained some clue to the toll-woman’s character from his demeanour; for even this vulgar creature might be supposed to know his world.
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1
torment
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| n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠 | |
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2
incapable
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| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 | |
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3
mattress
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| n.床垫，床褥 | |
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4
muster
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| v.集合，收集，鼓起，激起；n.集合，检阅，集合人员，点名册 | |
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5
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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6
humiliation
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| n.羞辱 | |
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7
grudging
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| adj.勉强的，吝啬的 | |
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8
destitution
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| n.穷困，缺乏，贫穷 | |
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glimmer
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| v.发出闪烁的微光；n.微光，微弱的闪光 | |
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10
beset
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| v.镶嵌；困扰，包围 | |
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11
Forsaken
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| adj. 被遗忘的, 被抛弃的 动词forsake的过去分词 | |
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12
mortified
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| v.使受辱( mortify的过去式和过去分词 )；伤害（人的感情）；克制；抑制（肉体、情感等） | |
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13
swelled
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| 增强( swell的过去式和过去分词 )； 肿胀； （使）凸出； 充满（激情） | |
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14
scourged
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| 鞭打( scourge的过去式和过去分词 )； 惩罚，压迫 | |
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15
profess
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| v.声称，冒称，以...为业，正式接受入教，表明信仰 | |
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16
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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17
landmark
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| n.陆标，划时代的事，地界标 | |
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18
galloped
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| （使马）飞奔，奔驰( gallop的过去式和过去分词 )； 快速做[说]某事 | |
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19
plodded
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| v.沉重缓慢地走（路）( plod的过去式和过去分词 )；努力从事；沉闷地苦干；缓慢进行（尤指艰难枯燥的工作） | |
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20
dispersing
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| adj. 分散的 动词disperse的现在分词形式 | |
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21
concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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22
crouching
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| v.屈膝，蹲伏( crouch的现在分词 ) | |
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23
prudence
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| n.谨慎，精明，节俭 | |
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24
trot
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| n.疾走，慢跑；n.老太婆；现成译本；(复数）trots:腹泻（与the 连用）；v.小跑，快步走，赶紧 | |
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25
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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26
abated
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| 减少( abate的过去式和过去分词 )； 减去； 降价； 撤消（诉讼） | |
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27
embittered
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| v.使怨恨，激怒( embitter的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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28
folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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29
impudent
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| adj.鲁莽的，卑鄙的，厚颜无耻的 | |
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30
perplexed
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| adj.不知所措的 | |
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31
outskirts
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| n.郊外，郊区 | |
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32
jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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33
prim
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| adj.拘泥形式的，一本正经的；n.循规蹈矩，整洁；adv.循规蹈矩地，整洁地 | |
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34
prospects
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| n.希望，前途(恒为复数) | |
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35
thickets
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| n.灌木丛( thicket的名词复数 )；丛状物 | |
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36
overcast
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| adj.阴天的，阴暗的，愁闷的；v.遮盖，（使）变暗，包边缝；n.覆盖，阴天 | |
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37
seclusion
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| n.隐遁，隔离 | |
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38
chattered
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| （人）喋喋不休( chatter的过去式 )； 唠叨； （牙齿）打战； （机器）震颤 | |
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39
wayfarer
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| n.旅人 | |
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40
misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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41
whitewashed
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| 粉饰，美化，掩饰( whitewash的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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42
toll
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| n.过路(桥)费；损失，伤亡人数；v.敲(钟) | |
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43
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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44
milestone
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| n.里程碑；划时代的事件 | |
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45
sleepless
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| adj.不睡眠的，睡不著的，不休息的 | |
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46
vigilant
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| adj.警觉的，警戒的，警惕的 | |
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47
scramble
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| v.爬行，攀爬，杂乱蔓延，碎片，片段，废料 | |
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48
bough
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| n.大树枝，主枝 | |
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49
upwards
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| adv.向上，在更高处...以上 | |
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50
moss
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| n.苔，藓，地衣 | |
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51
imminent
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| adj.即将发生的，临近的，逼近的 | |
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52
dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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53
encompassing
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| v.围绕( encompass的现在分词 )；包围；包含；包括 | |
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54
cramped
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| a.狭窄的 | |
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55
swollen
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| adj.肿大的，水涨的；v.使变大，肿胀 | |
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56
tangled
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| adj. 纠缠的，紊乱的 动词tangle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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57
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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58
contemplating
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| 深思，细想，仔细考虑( contemplate的现在分词 )； 注视，凝视； 考虑接受（发生某事的可能性）； 深思熟虑，沉思，苦思冥想 | |
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59
attentive
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| adj.注意的，专心的；关心(别人)的，殷勤的 | |
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60
surmounted
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| 战胜( surmount的过去式和过去分词 )； 克服（困难）； 居于…之上； 在…顶上 | |
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61
twine
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| v.搓，织，编饰；（使）缠绕 | |
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62
zealous
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| adj.狂热的，热心的 | |
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63
irrelevantly
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| adv.不恰当地，不合适地；不相关地 | |
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65
conspicuous
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| adj.明眼的，惹人注目的；炫耀的，摆阔气的 | |
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66
rumour
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| n.谣言，谣传，传闻 | |
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67
dubious
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| adj.怀疑的，无把握的；有问题的，靠不住的 | |
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68
ancestry
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| n.祖先，家世 | |
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69
disastrous
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| adj.灾难性的，造成灾害的；极坏的，很糟的 | |
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70
aggravation
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| n.烦恼，恼火 | |
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71
ribs
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| n.肋骨( rib的名词复数 )；（船或屋顶等的）肋拱；肋骨状的东西；（织物的）凸条花纹 | |
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72
horrid
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| adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的 | |
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stilts
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| n.（支撑建筑物高出地面或水面的）桩子，支柱( stilt的名词复数 )；高跷 | |
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skilful
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| (=skillful)adj.灵巧的，熟练的 | |
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