“A fourth or fifth cousin, Hosea,” said the lawyer,[137] carelessly, over the substitute for the phosphate. “She—he—they—I mean, it—was someone you never knew. She—they—had a lot of money. Remembered all the relatives.”
“Well, father and mother both came of large families,” observed Ho Ha. “I must have had a couple dozen cousins. I can’t remember who was fourth and who was fifth among ’em. I don’t know—would you think I might show my appreciation8 by putting up a nice tombstone to this cousin?”
“Good Lord, certainly not! I mean—I’m sure there will be a suitable memorial,” replied Mr. Brown, slightly choking over the near-phosphate as his mind imaged a tall shaft9 in honour of Keturah Smiley.
“What was the name?” asked Ho Ha.
“Ke——” began the lawyer, thoughtlessly, caught himself in time, and changed the syllable10 to the similitude of a sneeze. “Ke-chew! Ke-chew!” He sneezed again, as though an encore might confer verisimilitude. Ho Ha did not appear to suspect the sneeze.
“I s’pose that cussed brother of mine got a share,” Ho Ha meditated11 aloud. “The wonder is he didn’t get mine, too.”
Mermaid mixed her drinks recklessly, following a pineapple ice cream soda5 with a raspberry. It was before the day of the more fanciful concoctions12 or Mermaid would have had a week of sundaes.
“What are you going to do, Uncle Ho?” she inquired[138] with the interest that, from a young woman, is always so flattering to a man, even an uncle.
“Oh, I guess I’ll build a little shack13 on the beach and put the rest in the bank,” Ho Ha told her.
“I didn’t mean what are you going to do with the money, but what are you going to do with yourself?”
Hosea twinkled. “P’raps I’ll marry,” he hinted. “Now if I was only a young man——” He looked at her roguishly.
“It’s never too late to marry,” Mermaid said, between spoonfuls. “But if you’re going to marry you won’t want a shack on the beach—or your wife won’t, which amounts to the same thing.”
Ho Ha nodded repeatedly. “I don’t want to marry the first woman that proposes to me,” he announced with his most sagacious air. “I might advertise, eh?”
They strolled down the street together until they reached Keturah Smiley’s. Mermaid commanded her uncle to enter. Keturah was making a batch14 of cookies in the kitchen.
“Come in, Hosea,” she said, cordially. “Child, if Dickie Hand comes here this evening, do for goodness’ sake make the boy eat yesterday’s crullers so we can have a taste of these cookies ourselves. I declare, Hosea, I don’t know what my own cake tastes like any longer.”
“I do,” said Ho Ha, looking at her attentively15.
[139]“Have one,” said Keturah, slightly flustered16 by the look he gave her. Could he have learned anything? Ho Ha fell silent a moment, and then after several mouthfuls said: “You were always a great hand for relationships, Keturah. Can you tell me who this cousin was that’s left me some money?”
Miss Smiley faced away from him and began energetically stowing her batch in a cake box.
“I don’t know, Hosea,” she answered. “I never could keep track of your relations.”
“I don’t believe this cousin was a relation,” said Ha Ha. “I never heard of any relations except poor relations. Most likely this was some conscience-stricken person, repenting17 of evil gains——”
“Nonsense!” exclaimed Miss Smiley with an emphasis and a touch of indignation that seemed unnecessary. “She had as clear a conscience as some others, I guess.”
“Oh, so ’twas a woman?” observed Ho Ha, innocently. “Well, now, that’s funny. I can’t think of any woman——”
“I didn’t say ’twas a woman,” parried Keturah. “She or he or whoever it was probably had more than she—he—knew what to do with. Left to the next of kin7. It’s a common thing.”
“Uncommon common,” agreed Ho Ha somewhat paradoxically. “Happens every day. You read about it in the newspapers. I dare say she, he, or it got the[140] idea while lining18 the pantry shelves with ’em. What’s money for, anyway, Keturah?”
“Money,” interjected Mermaid, “is to make those who haven’t it want it and those who have it want more.”
“Money,” said Miss Smiley, sententiously, “is to hang on to until you know when to let go.”
“Money,” Ho Ha framed his own definition, “is only to make some other things more valuable.”
“You’re right, Uncle Ho,” Mermaid conceded. “If Dickie Hand’s father—your brother—didn’t have as much money as he has, Dickie would be worth almost nothing to me.”
“Child!” Keturah rebuked19 her.
“Oh, Aunt Keturah, I don’t mean that I value Dickie for his father’s money,” explained Mermaid, impatiently, “but don’t you see if his father were poor Dickie would be so—so unmanageable. I shouldn’t be able to do a thing with him! But his father’s rather rich, even if he did lose a lot of money a while ago, and I can just make Dickie behave himself by telling him that he can’t possibly get any credit for what he makes of himself because there’s all that money to help him. That makes Dickie simply wild, and he says he’ll be somebody in spite of his father and his money. He gets almost desperate—which is quite necessary,” she added, thoughtfully. “The other day he said, ‘Damn my father’s money! I’ll show you it hasn’t anything to[141] do with me!’ Of course I gave him the—the dickens but I couldn’t help being rather pleased.”
Miss Smiley regarded Mermaid with great sternness, but Ho Ha’s shoulders seemed to move queerly. Finally he choked.
“If my cooking chokes you, Hosea, you’d better not eat it,” Keturah said with considerable dignity.
“I beg your pardon, Keturah,” was the humble20 reply.
Mermaid had been eyeing the two as if a surprising notion had just occurred to her. Now she slipped on a jacket and started to leave the house, “I have to see Dickie,” she explained to Miss Smiley, “and get him mad enough so he’ll study to-night and pass his chemistry examination to-morrow.” She slipped out.
Left alone, the man and the woman said nothing for a while. Miss Smiley found various supper preparations to occupy her. Ho Ha watched her with the air of a person who wanted to say something but found it difficult to choose the right words. At length, “Keturah,” he got out, “do you remember a time when money made trouble between us?”
Miss Smiley did not answer him. She did not look at him.
“Of course you do,” Ho Ha resumed, undisturbed, apparently21, by the silence. “Now what I would like to know is whether the thing that made us trouble can’t be made to mend it?”
Still she did not answer nor appear to heed22 him.
[142]“I know very well,” said Ho Ha, as if to the furniture, and nodding at the grandfather’s clock which stood at one end of the large living room, “I know well that my fourth cousin or fifth cousin or whoever it was that left me this money left it to me because it belonged to me. I suspect Cousin What’s-the-Name got the money because it belonged to me, and got it from the person who owed it to me expressly to put in my hands. I’m obliged to Cousin Who’s-This as much for trying to do the right thing as for getting me the money. And I feel, somehow, that Cousin You-Can-Guess-Whom thought less about the money than about something else. A cousinly sort of a cousin, but real cousins don’t act that way. Real cousins let each other fend23 for themselves. But, anyway, that’s no matter, one way or t’other. The main thing is to set things right. The money was only good to show something else that was worth a good deal more than the money—and that was a good feeling. A—a strong and enduring feeling,” emphasized Ho Ha. “A feeling that’s there’s only one word for, and the word doesn’t express it. Keturah,” he exclaimed, getting up and approaching the woman who kept her back so persistently24 toward him, “you and I aren’t young any longer. We—we were cheated out of something, or else we cheated ourselves out of something, and it was a good deal. But, Keturah, it isn’t all gone. We didn’t lose everything. We made a mistake, a terrible mistake, but it was only a mistake;[143] it wasn’t an ’ntentional wrong either of us did the other. Keturah, can’t—can’t we just salvage25 some happiness out of the wreckage26?” He was standing27 close to her now.
Suddenly he put his arm awkwardly and eagerly about her. She had raised her hands to her face, and as she took them away he could see she was crying....
Out of doors, Mermaid, without any definite knowledge of what was going on inside, strained her diplomacy28 to the utmost to keep young Mr. Hand from entering the yard and passing the living-room windows and even, like as not, entering in quest of food to sustain his strength until supper. Dickie was a tall, thin, light-haired boy with a blond skin of singular freshness and brown eyes of singular alterations29. Just now they showed a puzzled impatience30 with Mermaid’s whims31.
“Will you go to the dance with me this evening?” he demanded.
Mermaid shook her head. “I want you to walk up street with me,” she announced.
“But why?” interrogated32 the young man. “I’ve just come from there, and you say you don’t want anything.”
“I want a serious talk with you,” corrected Mermaid. “How would you prepare H2SO4, Dickie?”
“Hang chemistry!” ejaculated Mr. Hand. “Wait a moment till I get a cookie.” He started into the yard. Mermaid made a short dash and checked him.
[144]“Nothing but yesterday’s crullers,” she stated.
“Well, a cruller, then,” grumbled33 Dickie.
Mermaid plucked at his sleeve.
“Dick Hand,” she informed him, “you must not go in that house, now. Aunt Keturah has a—a caller.”
“Huh. I don’t suppose he’ll bite me.”
“Well, I will,” the exasperated34 young woman retorted. “I’ll not speak to you or go to a party with you, if you don’t come along this minute!” Then a purely35 feminine inspiration seized her. “Do as you like,” she said, with excellent indifference36, “I daresay I can get Guy Vanton or Tommy——”
Leaving the sentence unfinished, she controlled herself with an effort and half turned away. Dickie forgot the need of sustenance37. Intolerable feelings prompted the young man to fall in at her side. Together they marched solemnly northward38. Said Mr. Hand: “Say, Mermaid, I—it—you——”
“They—we—him. Yes, Dickie?”
“You—don’t you think we might become engaged?”
“Why—I suppose we might, some day, Dickie.”
“To-day. I’m going on eighteen and you’re sixteen. Lots of people are engaged for years—as long as three years. I’d be twenty-one and you nineteen.”
“Yes, Dickie; when you’re twenty-one, I’ll be nineteen.”
“But, Mermaid, don’t you—don’t you care?”
[145]“If it would help you pass that chemistry exam, I’d become engaged to you right away, Dickie,” sighed Mermaid. “Of course I care. If you flunk39 that you can’t enter technical school or anywhere else.”
“Oh, damn the chemistry!” roared Mr. Hand. “Exam, Damn!”
“That’s a short poem; remarkable40 poem,” Mermaid commented with some coldness. “Full of—full of emotion. Conforms to Wordsworth’s definition of poetry, ‘emotion recollected41 in tranquillity43.’ But you’re not tranquil42 enough, Dickie. I don’t think I want to be engaged to any one who swears regularly.”
“Beg your pardon, ’m sure,” Mr. Hand mumbled44, sulkily. “I won’t say it again. Go on, don’t mind me! Go on, go with Tommy. He’s almost twenty. Or Mister Vanton, who is twenty-two. I’m only about eighteen.” He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and said loftily: “If you don’t mind.” Lifting his cap, he inclined his head and moved away.
Mermaid looked after him uneasily. Suddenly she called out, “Dickie!”
He returned, but with a certain effect of distant politeness.
“Come over after supper and I’ll quiz you on the chemistry best I can,” she offered.
He relaxed somewhat. “All right,” he agreed, magnanimously. “I’ll walk back with you,” he went on, as if uttering an after-thought.
[146]Mermaid acquiesced45. As they entered the yard they met Ho Ha coming out of the house. He stopped, looking at them happily and mysteriously, and propounded46 a riddle47 to Mermaid.
“If an uncle of yours,” he said, “were to marry your aunt, what relation would that make your uncle’s nephew to your aunt’s niece?”
“Friends once removed,” said Mermaid. “Oh, Uncle Ho, I’m tickled48 to death!”
点击收听单词发音
1 astounded | |
v.使震惊(astound的过去式和过去分词);愕然;愕;惊讶 | |
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2 perplexed | |
adj.不知所措的 | |
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3 mermaid | |
n.美人鱼 | |
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4 countless | |
adj.无数的,多得不计其数的 | |
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5 soda | |
n.苏打水;汽水 | |
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6 sodas | |
n.苏打( soda的名词复数 );碱;苏打水;汽水 | |
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7 kin | |
n.家族,亲属,血缘关系;adj.亲属关系的,同类的 | |
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8 appreciation | |
n.评价;欣赏;感谢;领会,理解;价格上涨 | |
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9 shaft | |
n.(工具的)柄,杆状物 | |
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10 syllable | |
n.音节;vt.分音节 | |
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11 meditated | |
深思,沉思,冥想( meditate的过去式和过去分词 ); 内心策划,考虑 | |
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12 concoctions | |
n.编造,捏造,混合物( concoction的名词复数 ) | |
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13 shack | |
adj.简陋的小屋,窝棚 | |
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14 batch | |
n.一批(组,群);一批生产量 | |
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15 attentively | |
adv.聚精会神地;周到地;谛;凝神 | |
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16 flustered | |
adj.慌张的;激动不安的v.使慌乱,使不安( fluster的过去式和过去分词) | |
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17 repenting | |
对(自己的所为)感到懊悔或忏悔( repent的现在分词 ) | |
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18 lining | |
n.衬里,衬料 | |
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19 rebuked | |
责难或指责( rebuke的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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20 humble | |
adj.谦卑的,恭顺的;地位低下的;v.降低,贬低 | |
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21 apparently | |
adv.显然地;表面上,似乎 | |
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22 heed | |
v.注意,留意;n.注意,留心 | |
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23 fend | |
v.照料(自己),(自己)谋生,挡开,避开 | |
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24 persistently | |
ad.坚持地;固执地 | |
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25 salvage | |
v.救助,营救,援救;n.救助,营救 | |
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26 wreckage | |
n.(失事飞机等的)残骸,破坏,毁坏 | |
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27 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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28 diplomacy | |
n.外交;外交手腕,交际手腕 | |
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29 alterations | |
n.改动( alteration的名词复数 );更改;变化;改变 | |
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30 impatience | |
n.不耐烦,急躁 | |
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31 WHIMS | |
虚妄,禅病 | |
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32 interrogated | |
v.询问( interrogate的过去式和过去分词 );审问;(在计算机或其他机器上)查询 | |
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33 grumbled | |
抱怨( grumble的过去式和过去分词 ); 发牢骚; 咕哝; 发哼声 | |
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34 exasperated | |
adj.恼怒的 | |
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35 purely | |
adv.纯粹地,完全地 | |
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36 indifference | |
n.不感兴趣,不关心,冷淡,不在乎 | |
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37 sustenance | |
n.食物,粮食;生活资料;生计 | |
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38 northward | |
adv.向北;n.北方的地区 | |
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39 flunk | |
v.(考试)不及格(=fail) | |
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40 remarkable | |
adj.显著的,异常的,非凡的,值得注意的 | |
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41 recollected | |
adj.冷静的;镇定的;被回忆起的;沉思默想的v.记起,想起( recollect的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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42 tranquil | |
adj. 安静的, 宁静的, 稳定的, 不变的 | |
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43 tranquillity | |
n. 平静, 安静 | |
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44 mumbled | |
含糊地说某事,叽咕,咕哝( mumble的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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45 acquiesced | |
v.默认,默许( acquiesce的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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46 propounded | |
v.提出(问题、计划等)供考虑[讨论],提议( propound的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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47 riddle | |
n.谜,谜语,粗筛;vt.解谜,给…出谜,筛,检查,鉴定,非难,充满于;vi.出谜 | |
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48 tickled | |
(使)发痒( tickle的过去式和过去分词 ); (使)愉快,逗乐 | |
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