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Chapter XII
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1

It is typical autumn weather, a dull, dark day which seems never to have fully1 dawned. Beneath the burden of the weary, oppressive clouds, the grass is greener and the roads more distinct. The light seems to rise to the sky instead of falling from it.

I have been in the kitchen-garden for an hour. There all the plants are beaten down by the wind and the rain; the asparagus-fronds lie across the paths like tangled2 hair; but the broad-bottomed cabbages are a joy to the eye, with their air of comfortable middle-class prosperity. Looking at their closely enfolded hearts, I seemed to recover the illusion of my childhood, of the days when my eyes pictured mystery in their depths....

How amazed we are when one of our senses happens to receive a sudden impression, in the same way as when we were children! We behold3 the same object simultaneously4 in the present and the past; and between those two points, identical and yet different
to our eyes, our memory tries to stretch a thread that can help it to follow the thousand and one intermediate transformations5 which have led us from the false to the true, from the wonderful to the simple, from dreams to reality. We should, no doubt, discover here, in the subtle history of our sensations and the different ways in which we received them, the gradual forming of our character, the pathetic progress of our little knowledge, all the frail6 elements of our personal life; in a word, the plastic substance of our joys and sorrows....

I think of the little girl that I was, but between her and me there stands a long array of children, girls and women. And I can do nothing but inwardly repeat:

"How soon we lose our traces!..."

I smile at the memory of myself as we smile at the unknown child that brushes against us in passing; and I leave myself to return to Rose....
2

She is a never-failing source of satisfaction to me. My dreams glory in having discovered so much hidden virtue7 here, at my door; and I am surprised at the new pleasures which I am constantly finding in her.

In certain natures predisposed to happiness, such happy surprises are prolonged and constantly renewed; and this may be one of the innocent secrets of the intellect. Are there not a thousand ways of interpreting a feeling, even as there are a thousand ways of considering an object? Our mind observes it daily under a different aspect, turns and turns it again, sees it from above and below, sees it near and from afar and loves to show it off and place it in the most favourable8 light. The mind of every woman, especially of a woman with an artistic9 bias10, is not without a secret harmony of colour, line and proportion. Something intentional11 even enters into it; and the caprices of her soul are often but an outcome of her desire to please. Her natural instinct, which is always inclined to give form to the most subtle of her sensations, enables her to find in goodness the same clinging grace which she loves in her clothes. She likes her happiness to be obvious and highly coloured, that it may rejoice the eyes of those around her; and, so as not to sadden their eyes, she paints the bitterness of her heart in neutral shades of drab and grey. By thinking herself better, she appears prettier in her own sight; and it seems to her, as she consults her mirror,
that she is replying to her own destiny. The soft waves of her hair teach her how frail is her will by the side of her life. She learns to bestow12 her own reward on the sympathy of her heart by crowning her forehead with her two bare arms; and, when she sees the long folds of her dress winding13 around her body, she recognises the sinuous14, slow, but determined15 bent16 of her feminine power.

I remember once being present at a meeting between two women who gave me a charming proof of our natural inclination17 to lend shape and substance to our thoughts and feelings. They were of different nationalities and neither of them could speak the other's language. Both were of a warm and sensitive nature, endowed with an analytical18 and artistic temperament19; and, as soon as they came together amidst the boredom20 of a fashionable crowd, they sat down in a corner and, with the aid of a few ordinary words, of facial expression, of vocal21 intonation22, but above all by means of gesticulation, they succeeded, in a few moments, in explaining themselves and knowing each other better than many do after months of intercourse23.

I was interested in this strange conversation, this dialogue without a sentence, but so vivid and expressive24,
in the same breath childish and profound; for they wished to show each other the inmost recesses25 of their souls and they had nothing to do it with but two or three elementary words. How pretty they were, the fair one dressed in red and the other, who was dark, all in white, with camellias in the dusk of her hair. They were not at all afraid of being frivolous26 and would linger now and then to examine the filmy muslins and laces in which they were arrayed.

The elder had already chosen her path, the younger was still seeking hers; but the characters of both were alike matured and their minds completely formed. Both of them in love and happy in their love, they tried above all to express their tastes and ideas.

To understand each other, they employed a thousand ingenious means. Their mobile faces eagerly questioned each other with the unconscious boldness of children who meet for the first time. They took each other's hands, looked at each other, read each other's features. At times, they would make use of things around them: a light here, a shadow there, people, objects. Once I saw the fair-haired one take up a Gallé cup that stood near. For a minute, she held
her white arm up to the light; and through her fingers the lovely thing seemed like a flash of crystallised mist in which precious stones were shedding their last lustre27.

I forget the various images, childish and subtle, by which she was able to show her friend all her sensitive soul in that fragile cup. A little later, there was some music; and the dark one sang while the fair one accompanied her on the piano. Through the sounds and harmonies I heard the perfect concord28 of those two lives, which had known nothing of each other an hour or two before....

It was an exquisite29 lesson for me, a wonderful proof that women's souls are able to love and unite more easily than men's, if they wish. And I once again regretted the unhappy distrust that severs30 and disunites us, whereas all our weaknesses interwoven might be garlands of strength and love crowning the life of men.
3

By a natural trend of thought, Rose appeared to me contrasted with those two rare creatures....

Rose is not sensitive and is not artistic. No doubt,
when she left school, she could play the piano correctly and likewise draw those still-life studies and little landscapes by means of which the principles of art and beauty are carefully instilled31 into the young mind. But she did not suspect that there could be anything else. She saw nothing beyond the ruined mill which she drew religiously in charcoal32; twenty times over, she set an orange, a ball of worsted and a pair of scissors together on the window-sill without seeing any of the wonders which the garden offered her.

Later, when every Sunday she played The Young Savoyard's Prayer on the organ, her placid33 soul conceived no other harmonies. She never felt, within the convent-walls, that divine curiosity, that blessed insubordination of the artist-child which obtains its first understanding of beauty from its hatred34 of the ugliness around it and which turns towards pretty things as flowers and plants turn towards the light.

Ah, my poor Rose, how I should like to see you more eager and alive! In the close attention which you give me, in the absolute faith which you place in me, my least words are invested with a precision of meaning that invites me to go on speaking; but how weary I am at heart! Oh, let us pass on to
other things: it is high time! Let us not sink into slumber35 and call it prudence36: up to now I have been content to see you sitting patiently at my feet; but I no longer want you there. Enough of this! I dream of roaming with you at random37 in the open fields, I dream of making you laugh and cry, of feeling your young soul fresh and sensitive as your cheeks. I dream of stirring your heart and rousing your imagination. We will go far across the countryside; together we shall see the light wane38 and the darkness begin; and, since you love me, you must needs admire with me the rare beauty of all these things!...

点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 fully Gfuzd     
adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地
参考例句:
  • The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气,然后全部呼出。
  • They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。
2 tangled e487ee1bc1477d6c2828d91e94c01c6e     
adj. 纠缠的,紊乱的 动词tangle的过去式和过去分词
参考例句:
  • Your hair's so tangled that I can't comb it. 你的头发太乱了,我梳不动。
  • A movement caught his eye in the tangled undergrowth. 乱灌木丛里的晃动引起了他的注意。
3 behold jQKy9     
v.看,注视,看到
参考例句:
  • The industry of these little ants is wonderful to behold.这些小蚂蚁辛勤劳动的样子看上去真令人惊叹。
  • The sunrise at the seaside was quite a sight to behold.海滨日出真是个奇景。
4 simultaneously 4iBz1o     
adv.同时发生地,同时进行地
参考例句:
  • The radar beam can track a number of targets almost simultaneously.雷达波几乎可以同时追着多个目标。
  • The Windows allow a computer user to execute multiple programs simultaneously.Windows允许计算机用户同时运行多个程序。
5 transformations dfc3424f78998e0e9ce8980c12f60650     
n.变化( transformation的名词复数 );转换;转换;变换
参考例句:
  • Energy transformations go on constantly, all about us. 在我们周围,能量始终在不停地转换着。 来自辞典例句
  • On the average, such transformations balance out. 平均起来,这种转化可以互相抵消。 来自辞典例句
6 frail yz3yD     
adj.身体虚弱的;易损坏的
参考例句:
  • Mrs. Warner is already 96 and too frail to live by herself.华纳太太已经九十六岁了,身体虚弱,不便独居。
  • She lay in bed looking particularly frail.她躺在床上,看上去特别虚弱。
7 virtue BpqyH     
n.德行,美德;贞操;优点;功效,效力
参考例句:
  • He was considered to be a paragon of virtue.他被认为是品德尽善尽美的典范。
  • You need to decorate your mind with virtue.你应该用德行美化心灵。
8 favourable favourable     
adj.赞成的,称赞的,有利的,良好的,顺利的
参考例句:
  • The company will lend you money on very favourable terms.这家公司将以非常优惠的条件借钱给你。
  • We found that most people are favourable to the idea.我们发现大多数人同意这个意见。
9 artistic IeWyG     
adj.艺术(家)的,美术(家)的;善于艺术创作的
参考例句:
  • The picture on this screen is a good artistic work.这屏风上的画是件很好的艺术品。
  • These artistic handicrafts are very popular with foreign friends.外国朋友很喜欢这些美术工艺品。
10 bias 0QByQ     
n.偏见,偏心,偏袒;vt.使有偏见
参考例句:
  • They are accusing the teacher of political bias in his marking.他们在指控那名教师打分数有政治偏见。
  • He had a bias toward the plan.他对这项计划有偏见。
11 intentional 65Axb     
adj.故意的,有意(识)的
参考例句:
  • Let me assure you that it was not intentional.我向你保证那不是故意的。
  • His insult was intentional.他的侮辱是有意的。
12 bestow 9t3zo     
v.把…赠与,把…授予;花费
参考例句:
  • He wished to bestow great honors upon the hero.他希望将那些伟大的荣誉授予这位英雄。
  • What great inspiration wiII you bestow on me?你有什么伟大的灵感能馈赠给我?
13 winding Ue7z09     
n.绕,缠,绕组,线圈
参考例句:
  • A winding lane led down towards the river.一条弯弯曲曲的小路通向河边。
  • The winding trail caused us to lose our orientation.迂回曲折的小道使我们迷失了方向。
14 sinuous vExz4     
adj.蜿蜒的,迂回的
参考例句:
  • The river wound its sinuous way across the plain.这条河蜿蜒曲折地流过平原。
  • We moved along the sinuous gravel walks,with the great concourse of girls and boys.我们沿着曲折的石径,随着男孩女孩汇成的巨流一路走去。
15 determined duszmP     
adj.坚定的;有决心的
参考例句:
  • I have determined on going to Tibet after graduation.我已决定毕业后去西藏。
  • He determined to view the rooms behind the office.他决定查看一下办公室后面的房间。
16 bent QQ8yD     
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的
参考例句:
  • He was fully bent upon the project.他一心扑在这项计划上。
  • We bent over backward to help them.我们尽了最大努力帮助他们。
17 inclination Gkwyj     
n.倾斜;点头;弯腰;斜坡;倾度;倾向;爱好
参考例句:
  • She greeted us with a slight inclination of the head.她微微点头向我们致意。
  • I did not feel the slightest inclination to hurry.我没有丝毫着急的意思。
18 analytical lLMyS     
adj.分析的;用分析法的
参考例句:
  • I have an analytical approach to every survey.对每项调查我都采用分析方法。
  • As a result,analytical data obtained by analysts were often in disagreement.结果各个分析家所得的分析数据常常不一致。
19 temperament 7INzf     
n.气质,性格,性情
参考例句:
  • The analysis of what kind of temperament you possess is vital.分析一下你有什么样的气质是十分重要的。
  • Success often depends on temperament.成功常常取决于一个人的性格。
20 boredom ynByy     
n.厌烦,厌倦,乏味,无聊
参考例句:
  • Unemployment can drive you mad with boredom.失业会让你无聊得发疯。
  • A walkman can relieve the boredom of running.跑步时带着随身听就不那么乏味了。
21 vocal vhOwA     
adj.直言不讳的;嗓音的;n.[pl.]声乐节目
参考例句:
  • The tongue is a vocal organ.舌头是一个发音器官。
  • Public opinion at last became vocal.终于舆论哗然。
22 intonation ubazZ     
n.语调,声调;发声
参考例句:
  • The teacher checks for pronunciation and intonation.老师在检查发音和语调。
  • Questions are spoken with a rising intonation.疑问句是以升调说出来的。
23 intercourse NbMzU     
n.性交;交流,交往,交际
参考例句:
  • The magazine becomes a cultural medium of intercourse between the two peoples.该杂志成为两民族间文化交流的媒介。
  • There was close intercourse between them.他们过往很密。
24 expressive shwz4     
adj.表现的,表达…的,富于表情的
参考例句:
  • Black English can be more expressive than standard English.黑人所使用的英语可能比正式英语更有表现力。
  • He had a mobile,expressive,animated face.他有一张多变的,富于表情的,生动活泼的脸。
25 recesses 617c7fa11fa356bfdf4893777e4e8e62     
n.壁凹( recess的名词复数 );(工作或业务活动的)中止或暂停期间;学校的课间休息;某物内部的凹形空间v.把某物放在墙壁的凹处( recess的第三人称单数 );将(墙)做成凹形,在(墙)上做壁龛;休息,休会,休庭
参考例句:
  • I could see the inmost recesses. 我能看见最深处。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • I had continually pushed my doubts to the darker recesses of my mind. 我一直把怀疑深深地隐藏在心中。 来自《简明英汉词典》
26 frivolous YfWzi     
adj.轻薄的;轻率的
参考例句:
  • This is a frivolous way of attacking the problem.这是一种轻率敷衍的处理问题的方式。
  • He spent a lot of his money on frivolous things.他在一些无聊的事上花了好多钱。
27 lustre hAhxg     
n.光亮,光泽;荣誉
参考例句:
  • The sun was shining with uncommon lustre.太阳放射出异常的光彩。
  • A good name keeps its lustre in the dark.一个好的名誉在黑暗中也保持它的光辉。
28 concord 9YDzx     
n.和谐;协调
参考例句:
  • These states had lived in concord for centuries.这些国家几个世纪以来一直和睦相处。
  • His speech did nothing for racial concord.他的讲话对种族和谐没有作用。
29 exquisite zhez1     
adj.精美的;敏锐的;剧烈的,感觉强烈的
参考例句:
  • I was admiring the exquisite workmanship in the mosaic.我当时正在欣赏镶嵌画的精致做工。
  • I still remember the exquisite pleasure I experienced in Bali.我依然记得在巴厘岛所经历的那种剧烈的快感。
30 severs eb765f65d3310773d977468629157a1d     
v.切断,断绝( sever的第三人称单数 );断,裂
参考例句:
  • He shut his eyes to the severs reality. 对于这严峻的现实,他是闭着眼睛不肯看的。 来自《用法词典》
  • It practically severs the Mediterranean. 实际上是将地中海分开。 来自辞典例句
31 instilled instilled     
v.逐渐使某人获得(某种可取的品质),逐步灌输( instill的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • Nature has instilled in our minds an insatiable desire to see truth. 自然给我们心灵注入了永无休止的发现真理的欲望。 来自辞典例句
  • I instilled the need for kindness into my children. 我不断向孩子们灌输仁慈的必要。 来自辞典例句
32 charcoal prgzJ     
n.炭,木炭,生物炭
参考例句:
  • We need to get some more charcoal for the barbecue.我们烧烤需要更多的碳。
  • Charcoal is used to filter water.木炭是用来过滤水的。
33 placid 7A1yV     
adj.安静的,平和的
参考例句:
  • He had been leading a placid life for the past eight years.八年来他一直过着平静的生活。
  • You should be in a placid mood and have a heart-to- heart talk with her.你应该心平气和的好好和她谈谈心。
34 hatred T5Gyg     
n.憎恶,憎恨,仇恨
参考例句:
  • He looked at me with hatred in his eyes.他以憎恨的眼光望着我。
  • The old man was seized with burning hatred for the fascists.老人对法西斯主义者充满了仇恨。
35 slumber 8E7zT     
n.睡眠,沉睡状态
参考例句:
  • All the people in the hotels were wrapped in deep slumber.住在各旅馆里的人都已进入梦乡。
  • Don't wake him from his slumber because he needs the rest.不要把他从睡眠中唤醒,因为他需要休息。
36 prudence 9isyI     
n.谨慎,精明,节俭
参考例句:
  • A lack of prudence may lead to financial problems.不够谨慎可能会导致财政上出现问题。
  • The happy impute all their success to prudence or merit.幸运者都把他们的成功归因于谨慎或功德。
37 random HT9xd     
adj.随机的;任意的;n.偶然的(或随便的)行动
参考例句:
  • The list is arranged in a random order.名单排列不分先后。
  • On random inspection the meat was found to be bad.经抽查,发现肉变质了。
38 wane bpRyR     
n.衰微,亏缺,变弱;v.变小,亏缺,呈下弦
参考例句:
  • The moon is on the wane.月亮渐亏。
  • Her enthusiasm for him was beginning to wane.她对他的热情在开始减退。


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