We are talking like old friends, he and I, in the little white bedroom. Through the two curtains of the window high up in the wall a great ray of sunshine falls, a column of dancing light that dies on the table between us. I sit drumming absent-mindedly with my fingers in the shimmering1 motes2. He looks at me and I feel no need to speak or to turn my head. The novelty of his presence makes no impression on me beyond a feeling of surprise that I do not find it strange. When by chance we do not hold the same view, the difference of opinion lasts only long enough to shift the thought which we are considering, even as one shifts an object to see its different aspects one after the other.
I came to the boarding-house this morning to see Rose. Her room was empty. I was on the point of going, when the young man passed. He recognised me, doubtless from the portraits which Rose had shown him; and he came up to me of his own
accord. His greeting was frank and natural. There were breadth and spaciousness3 in his eyes and his smile as well as in his manner. To justify4 my friendly interest, I pretended to have heard about him from Rose as he himself had heard about me: that is to say, with the most circumstantial details regarding position, occupations and all the externals of life. He did not therefore enter into explanations about things of which I was ignorant and we at once began to talk without any formality.
What a strange and delightful5 sensation it was! I remembered all that I had noticed about him the night before; I knew his character from admiring its gentleness and patience under the supreme6 test of unrequited love, of desire that awakened7 no response. And he was now talking to me from the very depths of his soul, while I knew nothing of who or what he was, nor of what he was doing here. I was really seeing him from the inside, as we see ourselves behind the scenes of our own existence, without ever knowing exactly the spectacle which we present to others. I was observing the inner working of his life before I had seen the outward presentment.
Speaking to me of his profession, he told me, with
a smile, how little importance he attached to his painting:
"It is only a favourable8 pretext9 for the life I have chosen. As you know, my greatest passion is nature; and I cannot but like the work which trained my eyes to a clearer vision and my nerves to a finer response."
He told me of the years which he had wasted in seeking in the customary amusements the joys which are ordinarily found there. He told me of the life of luxury and idleness which he had led until the day came when adverse10 fate reduced him to living on the income from a small estate which he owned in the country: a thrice-fortunate day, he added, for from that moment he had understood that he was made for solitude11, meditation12 and all the quiet pleasures of nature. Then he enthusiastically described to me the peaceful charm of his little house and he employed the words of a lover to extol13 the charm of his willow-swept river and the wonders of his flowers and bees.
2
Then I wanted to know what he thought of Rose. He judged her not inaccurately14; but, with a lover's
partiality, he applied15 the words balance, gentleness, equanimity16 to qualities which one day, when the scales had fallen from his eyes, he would call lack of heart and feeling. Deep-seated differences, perhaps, but yet not of a nature to affect the very sound principles that ensured his tranquillity17.
He had no illusions as to the quality of her mind. But to him, as to most men, a woman's intellectual value was but a relative factor; and he did not pause to estimate it with any attempt at accuracy, preferring to repeat:
"She will not disturb the silence of my life; and her beauty will adorn18 it marvellously."
He had a way of speaking which I liked. He knew how to refine his words by means of his expression. If they were very positive, his voice would hesitate; if too grave, a faint smile would lighten their sombreness. If he spoke19 ironically, his boyish eyes softened20 any touch of bitterness in the wisdom of the satirist21.
I did not like to think that the success of his wooing would mean the end of his labours. Rose would never become the independent, perfect woman of my dreams, capable of preserving her personal life in the midst of love and in all circumstances. Alas22,
my ambition had soared too high! Henceforth, I must wish nothing better for her than this purely23 ornamental24 fate.
"Do you love her?" I asked.
"I was taken captive at once by her beauty," he answered. "She objected that this sudden love must be an illusion; and I tried for a time to think the same. But, before long, suffering taught me the sincerity25 of my love. I dare not say whether it is senseless or right or usual; but, as long as a feeling gives us nothing but joy, we are unable to recognise it, we doubt it, we smile at it as a light and fleeting26 thing. Let anguish27 come, however, with tears and dread28; and it is as though the seal of reality were placed on our heart. Then we believe in our love."
I repeated, pensively29 and happily:
"Do you really love her?"
"Yes, I can say so honestly."
He hesitated a little and, speaking very slowly, as though picking his words from amid his memories, said:
"When we are sincere, we are bound to confess that the love which encircles all the movements of our body follows the movements of its strength or its weakness equally. It has its hours of exasperation30,
it is sometimes a tide that rises and floods everything: the past, the present, the future, the will, the spirit, the flesh. Then all becomes peaceful; the waves subside31 and we think that we love no more. We do love, however, but with a more detached joy. We have stepped outside love, as it were, and we contemplate32 its extent."
My breath came quickly and my hands, clasped on the table, were pressed close together. My heart was bursting with gladness for my Roseline. He saw my emotion and questioned me with deeper interest.
I replied without hesitation33:
"I am happy in this love which comes to Rose so simply and candidly34."
He pressed my hand as he said:
"Sometimes, on reading certain passages in your letters, I used to fear that you might be opposed to my intentions...."
I began to laugh:
"Yes, you will have read fine views concerning independence; and a tirade35 against the women who surrender too easily; and any number of things more or less contrary to your hopes. But do you not agree with me that our principles are at their soundest when they are least rigid36 and that our noblest
convictions are those of which we see both sides at once? Woman even more than man must not be afraid of handling her morality a little roughly when occasion demands it, just as she sometimes ruffles37 her laces for the pleasure of the eyes, easily and naturally and without attaching too much importance to the matter."
3
He listens to my words as I listen to his, with surprised delight. We feel as if we were playing with the same thought, for it flashes from one life to the other without undergoing any alteration38.
In point of fact, the human beings whom we see for the first time are not always new to us. True, we have never seen each other before, but our sympathies, our enthusiasms, inasmuch as they are common to both of us, have met more than once; and, now that we are talking, the form of our thoughts also corresponds, for, without intending it, we often look at the most abstract things objectively, because he is a painter and I a woman.
Oh, I know no more exquisite39 surprises than those chance meetings which suddenly bring you a friend
at a turning in life's road! It is like a charming landscape which one has seen in a dream and which one now finds in reality, without even having hoped for it. You speak, laugh, recognise each other and above all you are astonished and go on being astonished, adorably and shamelessly, like children.
What we had to say was all interwoven, as though we were both drawing on the same memories. We were speaking of those friends of a day whom accident sometimes gives us and whom the very briefness of the emotion impresses deeply on our heart. They are there for ever, in a few clear, sharp strokes, like sketches40:
"For instance, you go on a matter of business to see somebody whom you don't know. You chafe41 with annoyance42 as you cross the threshold. In spite of the material duty which you are performing, you consider that it is so much time wasted. Then, for some unknown reason, the atmosphere seems kindly43. You find familiar things in the room where you are waiting: a picture which you might have chosen yourself, books which you know and like, things which look as if your own hand had arranged them. And you forget everything. With your forehead against the pane44, you look at the roofs of the
houses, at the streets, at all that little scene which is the constant companion of an existence which you do not know and with which you are about to come into touch; and your heart beats very fast, for a sort of foresight45 tells you that a friend is going to enter the room."
"That's quite true; and sometimes even we have already met him at some house or other; but then his mind displayed itself in a special attitude, inaccessible46, motionless, lifeless, like a thing in a glass case. Now, we see him before us, in his own surroundings; and everything is changed. He has a smile which is made of just the same quality of affection as our own, a look instinct with the same sort of experience, a laugh that cheerfully faces like dangers, a mind responding to the same springs. And we talk and are contented47 and happy; and, when the sun enters at the window or when the fire flickers48 merrily in the hearth49, we can easily picture spending the rest of our life there, in gladness and comfort. Anything that the one says is received by the other with an exclamation50 of delight. Yes, we have felt and seen things in the same way; and this little fact, natural though it may seem, is so rare that it appears extraordinary!"
With an abrupt51 movement that must be customary with him, my companion shook his head to fling back his thick hair, which darkened his forehead whenever he leant forward:
"And very often," he said, "you don't see each other again, or at least you don't see each other like that, because time is too swift and because everybody has to go his own road."
The bright shaft52 of sunlight was still between us. It came now from a higher point of the little window. In the shimmering dust, I conjured53 up the faces of scarce-seen friends. There were some whose features had become almost obliterated54; but beyond them, as one sees an image in a crystal, I clearly perceived the ideas, the life, the soul that had for a moment throbbed55 on exactly the same level as my own.
I replied, in a very low voice:
"We remain infinitely56 grateful to people who have given us such minutes as those!"
And then, certain of hearing myself echoed, I cried, delightedly:
"Egoists should always be grateful and responsive, for gratitude57 is nothing but happiness prolonged by thought...."
"Yes, that is the whole secret of the responsive soul: to have sufficient impetus58 not to stop the sensation at the place where the joy itself stops."
"To have simply, like the runner, an impetus that carries us beyond the goal...."
4
Thus were our remarks unrolled like the links of one and the same chain; and yet how different were our two existences! His was devoid59 of all restlessness and agitation60; and mine was still in need of it. His intelligence was active, but not at all anxious to appear so. For him, meditation was the great object; and, when I expressed my admiration61 of a modesty62 impossible to my own undisciplined pride, he replied, in all simplicity63:
"Do not look upon this as modesty. The over-modest are often those whose pride is too great to find room on the surface."
"If I were a man or an older woman than I am," I said, laughingly, "I would choose your destiny; but, for the time being, I feel a genuine need to satisfy my youth and to give it a few of the little pleasures that suit it."
He tried to jest, like most men who disapprove64 of the trouble which we take to please them by making ourselves prettier or more brilliant; but at heart he was as fond as myself of feminine cajolery and frivolity65.
"You are full of pride," I exclaimed, "when you have accomplished66 some noble action or produced some rare work of art; then why should not women be happy at realising in their persons consummate67 beauty and grace? It is very probable that, if Plato or Socrates had suddenly been turned into beautiful young creatures, their destiny would have been different from what it was; it is even exceedingly probable that wisdom would have prompted them very often to lay aside their writings and come and contemplate their charms in the admiration of men!"
I quoted the words uttered by a woman who had known and loved admiration in her day:
"If life were longer, I would devote as many hours to my body as I now do to my mind; and I should be right. Unfortunately, I have to make a choice; and my very love of beauty makes me turn to that which does not fade...."
5
We should certainly have gone on talking for hours and without tiring; but suddenly we both together remembered that Rose must be waiting for me at my house and I rose to go.
As I did so, I said:
"I happen not to know your Christian68 name. What is it?"
"Floris."
Floris! That name, so little known in France but very frequent in Holland, surprised me; and I had some difficulty in not saying:
"Then you are not a Frenchman?"
But all that I said was:
"Floris, you shall have your Rose!"
点击
收听单词发音
收听单词发音 |
1
shimmering
|
|
| v.闪闪发光，发微光( shimmer的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
2
motes
|
|
| n.尘埃( mote的名词复数 )；斑点 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
3
spaciousness
|
|
| n.宽敞 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
4
justify
|
|
| vt.证明…正当(或有理)，为…辩护 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
5
delightful
|
|
| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
6
supreme
|
|
| adj.极度的，最重要的；至高的，最高的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
7
awakened
|
|
| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
8
favourable
|
|
| adj.赞成的，称赞的，有利的，良好的，顺利的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
9
pretext
|
|
| n.借口，托词 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
10
adverse
|
|
| adj.不利的；有害的；敌对的，不友好的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
11
solitude
|
|
| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
12
meditation
|
|
| n.熟虑，（尤指宗教的）默想，沉思，（pl.）冥想录 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
13
extol
|
|
| v.赞美，颂扬 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
14
inaccurately
|
|
| 不精密地，不准确地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
15
applied
|
|
| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
16
equanimity
|
|
| n.沉着，镇定 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
17
tranquillity
|
|
| n. 平静, 安静 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
18
adorn
|
|
| vt.使美化，装饰 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
19
spoke
|
|
| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
20
softened
|
|
| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
21
satirist
|
|
| n.讽刺诗作者，讽刺家，爱挖苦别人的人 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
22
alas
|
|
| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
23
purely
|
|
| adv.纯粹地，完全地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
24
ornamental
|
|
| adj.装饰的；作装饰用的；n.装饰品；观赏植物 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
25
sincerity
|
|
| n.真诚，诚意；真实 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
26
fleeting
|
|
| adj.短暂的，飞逝的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
27
anguish
|
|
| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
28
dread
|
|
| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
29
pensively
|
|
| adv.沉思地，焦虑地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
30
exasperation
|
|
| n.愤慨 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
31
subside
|
|
| vi.平静，平息；下沉，塌陷，沉降 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
32
contemplate
|
|
| vt.盘算，计议；周密考虑；注视，凝视 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
33
hesitation
|
|
| n.犹豫，踌躇 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
34
candidly
|
|
| adv.坦率地，直率而诚恳地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
35
tirade
|
|
| n.冗长的攻击性演说 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
36
rigid
|
|
| adj.严格的，死板的；刚硬的，僵硬的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
37
ruffles
|
|
| 褶裥花边( ruffle的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
38
alteration
|
|
| n.变更，改变；蚀变 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
39
exquisite
|
|
| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
40
sketches
|
|
| n.草图( sketch的名词复数 )；素描；速写；梗概 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
41
chafe
|
|
| v.擦伤；冲洗；惹怒 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
42
annoyance
|
|
| n.恼怒，生气，烦恼 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
43
kindly
|
|
| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
44
pane
|
|
| n.窗格玻璃，长方块 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
45
foresight
|
|
| n.先见之明，深谋远虑 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
46
inaccessible
|
|
| adj.达不到的，难接近的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
47
contented
|
|
| adj.满意的，安心的，知足的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
48
flickers
|
|
| 电影制片业； （通常指灯光）闪烁，摇曳( flicker的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
49
hearth
|
|
| n.壁炉炉床，壁炉地面 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
50
exclamation
|
|
| n.感叹号，惊呼，惊叹词 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
51
abrupt
|
|
| adj.突然的，意外的；唐突的，鲁莽的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
52
shaft
|
|
| n.(工具的)柄，杆状物 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
53
conjured
|
|
| 用魔术变出( conjure的过去式和过去分词 )； 祈求，恳求； 变戏法； （变魔术般地） 使…出现 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
54
obliterated
|
|
| v.除去( obliterate的过去式和过去分词 )；涂去；擦掉；彻底破坏或毁灭 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
55
throbbed
|
|
| 抽痛( throb的过去式和过去分词 )； （心脏、脉搏等）跳动 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
56
infinitely
|
|
| adv.无限地，无穷地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
57
gratitude
|
|
| adj.感激，感谢 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
58
impetus
|
|
| n.推动，促进，刺激；推动力 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
59
devoid
|
|
| adj.全无的，缺乏的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
60
agitation
|
|
| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
61
admiration
|
|
| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
62
modesty
|
|
| n.谦逊，虚心，端庄，稳重，羞怯，朴素 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
63
simplicity
|
|
| n.简单，简易；朴素；直率，单纯 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
64
disapprove
|
|
| v.不赞成，不同意，不批准 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
65
frivolity
|
|
| n.轻松的乐事，兴高采烈；轻浮的举止 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
66
accomplished
|
|
| adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
67
consummate
|
|
| adj.完美的；v.成婚；使完美 [反]baffle | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
68
Christian
|
|
| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
| 欢迎访问英文小说网 |