"You need not go into a desert and fast, a crowd is often more lonely than a wilderness1 and small things harder to do than great."
The ship had run between Belle2 Isle3 and the low curving shores of Quiberon. The land was in sight all along by St. Nazaire, where they could see the gray-green of winter fields, and the dotted fruit trees about the farmhouses4, and bits of bushy woodland. Out of the waste of waters the swift way-wise little Ranger5 came heading safely in at the mouth of the Loire. She ran among all the shoals and sand banks by Paimboeuf, and past the shipyards of the river shores, until she came to harbor and let her anchor go.
There was something homelike about being in a river. At first sight the Loire wore a look of recent settlement, rather than of the approach to a city already famous in old Roman times; the shifting sand dunes6 and the empty flats, the poor scattered7 handfuls of houses and the works of shipbuilding, all wore a temporary look. These shiftless, primitive8 contrivances of men sparsely9 strewed10 a not too solid-looking shore, and the newcomers could see little of the inland country behind it. It was a strange contrast to their own river below Portsmouth, where gray ledges11 ribbed the earth and bolted it down into an unchangeable permanence of outline. The heights and hollows of the seaward points of Newcastle and the Kittery shore stood plain before his mind's eye as Wallingford came on deck, and these strange banks of the Loire seemed only to mask reality and confuse his vision. Farther up the stream they could see the gray walls of Nantes itself, high over the water, with the huge towered cathedral, and the lesser13 bulk of the castle topping all the roofs. It was a mild day, with little air moving.
Dickson came along the deck, looking much displeased14. That morning he had received the attention of being kicked down the companion way by the captain, and nothing could soften15 such an event, not even the suggestion from his conscience that he had well deserved the insult. It seemed more and more, to those who were nearest him, as if Dickson were at heart the general enemy of mankind,—jealous and bitter toward those who stood above him, and scornful of his inferiors. He loved to defeat the hopes of other people, to throw discredit16 upon sincerity17; like some swift-creeping thing that brings needless discomfort18 everywhere, and dismay, and an impartial19 sting. He was not clever enough to be a maker20 of large schemes, but rather destructive, crafty21, and evil-minded,—a disturber of the plans of others. All this was in his face; a fixed22 habit of smiling only added to his mean appearance. What was worst of all, being a great maker of promises, he was not without influence, and had his following.
The fresh air from the land, the frosty smell of the fields, made Wallingford feel the more despondent23. The certainty had now come to his mind that Paul Jones would never have consented to his gaining the commission of lieutenant24, would never have brought him, so untried and untrained, to sea, but for jealousy25, and to hinder his being at Mary Hamilton's side. This was the keenest hurt to his pride; the thought had stabbed him like a knife. Again he made a desperate plunge26 into the sea of his disasters, and was unconscious even of the man who was near by, watching him. He was for the moment blind and deaf to all reality, as he stood looking along the water toward the Breton town.
"All ready to go ashore27, sir?" asked Dickson, behind him, in an ingratiating tone; but Wallingford gave an impatient shrug28 of his shoulders.
"'T is not so wintry here as the shore must look at home," continued Dickson. "Damn that coxcomb29 on the quarter-deck! he 's more than the devil himself could stand for company!"
Wallingford, instead of agreeing in his present disaffection, turned about, and stood fronting the speaker. He looked Dickson straight in the eye, as if daring him to speak again, whereat Dickson remained silent. The lieutenant stood like a prince.
"I see that I intrude," said the other, rallying his self-consequence. "You have even less obligation to Captain Paul Jones than you may think," he continued, dropping his voice and playing his last trump30. "I overheard, by accident, some talk of his on the terrace with a certain young lady whom your high loftiness might not allow me to mention. He called you a cursed young spy and a Tory, and she implored31 him to protect you. She said you was her old playmate, and that she wanted you got out o' the way o' trouble. He had his arm round her, and he said he might be ruined by you; he cursed you up hill and down, while she was a-pleadin'. 'Twas all for her sake, and your mother's bein' brought into distress"—
Dickson spoke32 rapidly, and edged a step or two away; but his shoulder was clutched as if a panther's teeth had it instead of a man's hand.
"I'll kill you if you give me another word!" said Roger Wallingford. "If I knew you told the whole truth, I should be just as ready to drop you overboard."
"I have told the truth," said Dickson.
"I know you are n't above eavesdropping," answered Wallingford, with contempt. "If you desire to know what I think of your sneaking33 on the outside of a man's house where you have been denied entrance, I am willing to tell you. I heard you were there that night."
"You were outside yourself, to keep me company, and I'm as good a gentleman as Jack34 Hamilton," protested Dickson. "He went the rounds of the farms with a shoemaker's kit12, in the start of his high fortunes."
"Mr. Hamilton would mend a shoe as honestly in his young poverty as he would sit in council now. So he has come to be a rich merchant and a trusted man." There was something in Wallingford's calm manner that had power to fire even Dickson's cold and sluggish35 blood.
"I take no insults from you, Mr. Lieutenant!" he exclaimed, in a black rage, and passed along the deck to escape further conversation.
There had been men of the crew within hearing. Dickson had said what he wished to say, and a moment later he was thinking no less highly of himself than ever. He would yet compass the downfall of the two men whom he hated. He had already set them well on their way to compass the downfall of each other. It made a man chuckle36 with savage37 joy to think of looking on at the game.
Wallingford went below again, and set himself to some work in his own cabin. Character and the habit of self-possession could carry a man through many trying instances, but life now seemed in a worse confusion than before. This was impossible to bear; he brushed his papers to the floor with a sweep of his arm. His heart was as heavy as lead within him. Alas38, he had seen the ring! "Perhaps—perhaps"—he said next moment to himself—"she might do even that, if she loved a man; she could think of nothing then but that I must be got away to sea!"
"Poor little girl! O God, how I love her!" and he bent39 his head sorrowfully, while an agony of grief and dismay mastered him. He had never yet been put to such awful misery40 of mind.
"'T is my great trial that has come upon me," he said humbly41. "I'll stick to my duty,—'tis all that I can do,—and Heaven help me to bear the rest. Thank God, I have my duty to the ship!"
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1
wilderness
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n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等,荒漠 | |
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2
belle
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n.靓女 | |
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3
isle
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n.小岛,岛 | |
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4
farmhouses
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n.农舍,农场的主要住房( farmhouse的名词复数 ) | |
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5
ranger
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n.国家公园管理员,护林员;骑兵巡逻队员 | |
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6
dunes
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沙丘( dune的名词复数 ) | |
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7
scattered
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adj.分散的,稀疏的;散步的;疏疏落落的 | |
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8
primitive
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adj.原始的;简单的;n.原(始)人,原始事物 | |
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9
sparsely
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adv.稀疏地;稀少地;不足地;贫乏地 | |
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10
strewed
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v.撒在…上( strew的过去式和过去分词 );散落于;点缀;撒满 | |
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11
ledges
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n.(墙壁,悬崖等)突出的狭长部分( ledge的名词复数 );(平窄的)壁架;横档;(尤指)窗台 | |
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12
kit
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n.用具包,成套工具;随身携带物 | |
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13
lesser
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adj.次要的,较小的;adv.较小地,较少地 | |
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14
displeased
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a.不快的 | |
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15
soften
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v.(使)变柔软;(使)变柔和 | |
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16
discredit
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vt.使不可置信;n.丧失信义;不信,怀疑 | |
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17
sincerity
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n.真诚,诚意;真实 | |
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18
discomfort
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n.不舒服,不安,难过,困难,不方便 | |
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19
impartial
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adj.(in,to)公正的,无偏见的 | |
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20
maker
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n.制造者,制造商 | |
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21
crafty
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adj.狡猾的,诡诈的 | |
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22
fixed
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adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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23
despondent
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adj.失望的,沮丧的,泄气的 | |
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24
lieutenant
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n.陆军中尉,海军上尉;代理官员,副职官员 | |
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25
jealousy
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n.妒忌,嫉妒,猜忌 | |
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26
plunge
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v.跳入,(使)投入,(使)陷入;猛冲 | |
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27
ashore
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adv.在(向)岸上,上岸 | |
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28
shrug
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v.耸肩(表示怀疑、冷漠、不知等) | |
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29
coxcomb
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n.花花公子 | |
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30
trump
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n.王牌,法宝;v.打出王牌,吹喇叭 | |
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31
implored
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恳求或乞求(某人)( implore的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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32
spoke
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n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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33
sneaking
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a.秘密的,不公开的 | |
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34
jack
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n.插座,千斤顶,男人;v.抬起,提醒,扛举;n.(Jake)杰克 | |
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35
sluggish
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adj.懒惰的,迟钝的,无精打采的 | |
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36
chuckle
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vi./n.轻声笑,咯咯笑 | |
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37
savage
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adj.野蛮的;凶恶的,残暴的;n.未开化的人 | |
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38
alas
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int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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39
bent
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n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的 | |
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40
misery
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n.痛苦,苦恼,苦难;悲惨的境遇,贫苦 | |
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41
humbly
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adv. 恭顺地,谦卑地 | |
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