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XVIII OH HAD I WIST!——
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"You need not go into a desert and fast, a crowd is often more lonely than a wilderness1 and small things harder to do than great."

The ship had run between Belle2 Isle3 and the low curving shores of Quiberon. The land was in sight all along by St. Nazaire, where they could see the gray-green of winter fields, and the dotted fruit trees about the farmhouses4, and bits of bushy woodland. Out of the waste of waters the swift way-wise little Ranger5 came heading safely in at the mouth of the Loire. She ran among all the shoals and sand banks by Paimboeuf, and past the shipyards of the river shores, until she came to harbor and let her anchor go.

There was something homelike about being in a river. At first sight the Loire wore a look of recent settlement, rather than of the approach to a city already famous in old Roman times; the shifting sand dunes6 and the empty flats, the poor scattered7 handfuls of houses and the works of shipbuilding, all wore a temporary look. These shiftless, primitive8 contrivances of men sparsely9 strewed10 a not too solid-looking shore, and the newcomers could see little of the inland country behind it. It was a strange contrast to their own river below Portsmouth, where gray ledges11 ribbed the earth and bolted it down into an unchangeable permanence of outline. The heights and hollows of the seaward points of Newcastle and the Kittery shore stood plain before his mind's eye as Wallingford came on deck, and these strange banks of the Loire seemed only to mask reality and confuse his vision. Farther up the stream they could see the gray walls of Nantes itself, high over the water, with the huge towered cathedral, and the lesser13 bulk of the castle topping all the roofs. It was a mild day, with little air moving.

Dickson came along the deck, looking much displeased14. That morning he had received the attention of being kicked down the companion way by the captain, and nothing could soften15 such an event, not even the suggestion from his conscience that he had well deserved the insult. It seemed more and more, to those who were nearest him, as if Dickson were at heart the general enemy of mankind,—jealous and bitter toward those who stood above him, and scornful of his inferiors. He loved to defeat the hopes of other people, to throw discredit16 upon sincerity17; like some swift-creeping thing that brings needless discomfort18 everywhere, and dismay, and an impartial19 sting. He was not clever enough to be a maker20 of large schemes, but rather destructive, crafty21, and evil-minded,—a disturber of the plans of others. All this was in his face; a fixed22 habit of smiling only added to his mean appearance. What was worst of all, being a great maker of promises, he was not without influence, and had his following.

The fresh air from the land, the frosty smell of the fields, made Wallingford feel the more despondent23. The certainty had now come to his mind that Paul Jones would never have consented to his gaining the commission of lieutenant24, would never have brought him, so untried and untrained, to sea, but for jealousy25, and to hinder his being at Mary Hamilton's side. This was the keenest hurt to his pride; the thought had stabbed him like a knife. Again he made a desperate plunge26 into the sea of his disasters, and was unconscious even of the man who was near by, watching him. He was for the moment blind and deaf to all reality, as he stood looking along the water toward the Breton town.

"All ready to go ashore27, sir?" asked Dickson, behind him, in an ingratiating tone; but Wallingford gave an impatient shrug28 of his shoulders.

"'T is not so wintry here as the shore must look at home," continued Dickson. "Damn that coxcomb29 on the quarter-deck! he 's more than the devil himself could stand for company!"

Wallingford, instead of agreeing in his present disaffection, turned about, and stood fronting the speaker. He looked Dickson straight in the eye, as if daring him to speak again, whereat Dickson remained silent. The lieutenant stood like a prince.

"I see that I intrude," said the other, rallying his self-consequence. "You have even less obligation to Captain Paul Jones than you may think," he continued, dropping his voice and playing his last trump30. "I overheard, by accident, some talk of his on the terrace with a certain young lady whom your high loftiness might not allow me to mention. He called you a cursed young spy and a Tory, and she implored31 him to protect you. She said you was her old playmate, and that she wanted you got out o' the way o' trouble. He had his arm round her, and he said he might be ruined by you; he cursed you up hill and down, while she was a-pleadin'. 'Twas all for her sake, and your mother's bein' brought into distress"—

Dickson spoke32 rapidly, and edged a step or two away; but his shoulder was clutched as if a panther's teeth had it instead of a man's hand.

"I'll kill you if you give me another word!" said Roger Wallingford. "If I knew you told the whole truth, I should be just as ready to drop you overboard."

"I have told the truth," said Dickson.

"I know you are n't above eavesdropping," answered Wallingford, with contempt. "If you desire to know what I think of your sneaking33 on the outside of a man's house where you have been denied entrance, I am willing to tell you. I heard you were there that night."

"You were outside yourself, to keep me company, and I'm as good a gentleman as Jack34 Hamilton," protested Dickson. "He went the rounds of the farms with a shoemaker's kit12, in the start of his high fortunes."

"Mr. Hamilton would mend a shoe as honestly in his young poverty as he would sit in council now. So he has come to be a rich merchant and a trusted man." There was something in Wallingford's calm manner that had power to fire even Dickson's cold and sluggish35 blood.

"I take no insults from you, Mr. Lieutenant!" he exclaimed, in a black rage, and passed along the deck to escape further conversation.

There had been men of the crew within hearing. Dickson had said what he wished to say, and a moment later he was thinking no less highly of himself than ever. He would yet compass the downfall of the two men whom he hated. He had already set them well on their way to compass the downfall of each other. It made a man chuckle36 with savage37 joy to think of looking on at the game.

Wallingford went below again, and set himself to some work in his own cabin. Character and the habit of self-possession could carry a man through many trying instances, but life now seemed in a worse confusion than before. This was impossible to bear; he brushed his papers to the floor with a sweep of his arm. His heart was as heavy as lead within him. Alas38, he had seen the ring! "Perhaps—perhaps"—he said next moment to himself—"she might do even that, if she loved a man; she could think of nothing then but that I must be got away to sea!"

"Poor little girl! O God, how I love her!" and he bent39 his head sorrowfully, while an agony of grief and dismay mastered him. He had never yet been put to such awful misery40 of mind.

"'T is my great trial that has come upon me," he said humbly41. "I'll stick to my duty,—'tis all that I can do,—and Heaven help me to bear the rest. Thank God, I have my duty to the ship!"

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1 wilderness SgrwS     
n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等,荒漠
参考例句:
  • She drove the herd of cattle through the wilderness.她赶着牛群穿过荒野。
  • Education in the wilderness is not a matter of monetary means.荒凉地区的教育不是钱财问题。
2 belle MQly5     
n.靓女
参考例句:
  • She was the belle of her Sunday School class.在主日学校她是她们班的班花。
  • She was the belle of the ball.她是那个舞会中的美女。
3 isle fatze     
n.小岛,岛
参考例句:
  • He is from the Isle of Man in the Irish Sea.他来自爱尔兰海的马恩岛。
  • The boat left for the paradise isle of Bali.小船驶向天堂一般的巴厘岛。
4 farmhouses 990ff6ec1c7f905b310e92bc44d13886     
n.农舍,农场的主要住房( farmhouse的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • Then perhaps she is staying at one of cottages or farmhouses? 那么也许她现在住在某个农舍或哪个农场的房子里吧? 来自辞典例句
  • The countryside was sprinkled with farmhouses. 乡间到处可见农家的房舍。 来自辞典例句
5 ranger RTvxb     
n.国家公园管理员,护林员;骑兵巡逻队员
参考例句:
  • He was the head ranger of the national park.他曾是国家公园的首席看守员。
  • He loved working as a ranger.他喜欢做护林人。
6 dunes 8a48dcdac1abf28807833e2947184dd4     
沙丘( dune的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • The boy galloped over the dunes barefoot. 那男孩光着脚在沙丘间飞跑。
  • Dragging the fully laden boat across the sand dunes was no mean feat. 将满载货物的船拖过沙丘是一件了不起的事。
7 scattered 7jgzKF     
adj.分散的,稀疏的;散步的;疏疏落落的
参考例句:
  • Gathering up his scattered papers,he pushed them into his case.他把散乱的文件收拾起来,塞进文件夹里。
8 primitive vSwz0     
adj.原始的;简单的;n.原(始)人,原始事物
参考例句:
  • It is a primitive instinct to flee a place of danger.逃离危险的地方是一种原始本能。
  • His book describes the march of the civilization of a primitive society.他的著作描述了一个原始社会的开化过程。
9 sparsely 9hyzxF     
adv.稀疏地;稀少地;不足地;贫乏地
参考例句:
  • Relative to the size, the city is sparsely populated. 与其面积相比,这个城市的人口是稀少的。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The ground was sparsely covered with grass. 地面上稀疏地覆盖草丛。 来自《简明英汉词典》
10 strewed c21d6871b6a90e9a93a5a73cdae66155     
v.撒在…上( strew的过去式和过去分词 );散落于;点缀;撒满
参考例句:
  • Papers strewed the floor. 文件扔了一地。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Autumn leaves strewed the lawn. 草地上撒满了秋叶。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
11 ledges 6a417e3908e60ac7fcb331ba2faa21b1     
n.(墙壁,悬崖等)突出的狭长部分( ledge的名词复数 );(平窄的)壁架;横档;(尤指)窗台
参考例句:
  • seabirds nesting on rocky ledges 海鸟在岩架上筑巢
  • A rusty ironrod projected mournfully from one of the window ledges. 一个窗架上突出一根生锈的铁棒,真是满目凄凉。 来自辞典例句
12 kit D2Rxp     
n.用具包,成套工具;随身携带物
参考例句:
  • The kit consisted of about twenty cosmetic items.整套工具包括大约20种化妆用品。
  • The captain wants to inspect your kit.船长想检查你的行装。
13 lesser UpxzJL     
adj.次要的,较小的;adv.较小地,较少地
参考例句:
  • Kept some of the lesser players out.不让那些次要的球员参加联赛。
  • She has also been affected,but to a lesser degree.她也受到波及,但程度较轻。
14 displeased 1uFz5L     
a.不快的
参考例句:
  • The old man was displeased and darted an angry look at me. 老人不高兴了,瞪了我一眼。
  • He was displeased about the whole affair. 他对整个事情感到很不高兴。
15 soften 6w0wk     
v.(使)变柔软;(使)变柔和
参考例句:
  • Plastics will soften when exposed to heat.塑料适当加热就可以软化。
  • This special cream will help to soften up our skin.这种特殊的护肤霜有助于使皮肤变得柔软。
16 discredit fu3xX     
vt.使不可置信;n.丧失信义;不信,怀疑
参考例句:
  • Their behaviour has bought discredit on English football.他们的行为败坏了英国足球运动的声誉。
  • They no longer try to discredit the technology itself.他们不再试图怀疑这种技术本身。
17 sincerity zyZwY     
n.真诚,诚意;真实
参考例句:
  • His sincerity added much more authority to the story.他的真诚更增加了故事的说服力。
  • He tried hard to satisfy me of his sincerity.他竭力让我了解他的诚意。
18 discomfort cuvxN     
n.不舒服,不安,难过,困难,不方便
参考例句:
  • One has to bear a little discomfort while travelling.旅行中总要忍受一点不便。
  • She turned red with discomfort when the teacher spoke.老师讲话时她不好意思地红着脸。
19 impartial eykyR     
adj.(in,to)公正的,无偏见的
参考例句:
  • He gave an impartial view of the state of affairs in Ireland.他对爱尔兰的事态发表了公正的看法。
  • Careers officers offer impartial advice to all pupils.就业指导员向所有学生提供公正无私的建议。
20 maker DALxN     
n.制造者,制造商
参考例句:
  • He is a trouble maker,You must be distant with him.他是个捣蛋鬼,你不要跟他在一起。
  • A cabinet maker must be a master craftsman.家具木工必须是技艺高超的手艺人。
21 crafty qzWxC     
adj.狡猾的,诡诈的
参考例句:
  • He admired the old man for his crafty plan.他敬佩老者的神机妙算。
  • He was an accomplished politician and a crafty autocrat.他是个有造诣的政治家,也是个狡黠的独裁者。
22 fixed JsKzzj     
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的
参考例句:
  • Have you two fixed on a date for the wedding yet?你们俩选定婚期了吗?
  • Once the aim is fixed,we should not change it arbitrarily.目标一旦确定,我们就不应该随意改变。
23 despondent 4Pwzw     
adj.失望的,沮丧的,泄气的
参考例句:
  • He was up for a time and then,without warning,despondent again.他一度兴高采烈,但忽然又情绪低落下来。
  • I feel despondent when my work is rejected.作品被拒后我感到很沮丧。
24 lieutenant X3GyG     
n.陆军中尉,海军上尉;代理官员,副职官员
参考例句:
  • He was promoted to be a lieutenant in the army.他被提升为陆军中尉。
  • He prevailed on the lieutenant to send in a short note.他说动那个副官,递上了一张简短的便条进去。
25 jealousy WaRz6     
n.妒忌,嫉妒,猜忌
参考例句:
  • Some women have a disposition to jealousy.有些女人生性爱妒忌。
  • I can't support your jealousy any longer.我再也无法忍受你的嫉妒了。
26 plunge 228zO     
v.跳入,(使)投入,(使)陷入;猛冲
参考例句:
  • Test pool's water temperature before you plunge in.在你跳入之前你应该测试水温。
  • That would plunge them in the broil of the two countries.那将会使他们陷入这两国的争斗之中。
27 ashore tNQyT     
adv.在(向)岸上,上岸
参考例句:
  • The children got ashore before the tide came in.涨潮前,孩子们就上岸了。
  • He laid hold of the rope and pulled the boat ashore.他抓住绳子拉船靠岸。
28 shrug Ry3w5     
v.耸肩(表示怀疑、冷漠、不知等)
参考例句:
  • With a shrug,he went out of the room.他耸一下肩,走出了房间。
  • I admire the way she is able to shrug off unfair criticism.我很佩服她能对错误的批评意见不予理会。
29 coxcomb kvqz6L     
n.花花公子
参考例句:
  • Jones was not so vain and senseless a coxcomb as to expect.琼斯并不是那么一个不自量,没头没脑的浪荡哥儿。
  • He is a plausible coxcomb.他是个巧言令色的花花公子。
30 trump LU1zK     
n.王牌,法宝;v.打出王牌,吹喇叭
参考例句:
  • He was never able to trump up the courage to have a showdown.他始终鼓不起勇气摊牌。
  • The coach saved his star player for a trump card.教练保留他的明星选手,作为他的王牌。
31 implored 0b089ebf3591e554caa381773b194ff1     
恳求或乞求(某人)( implore的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • She implored him to stay. 她恳求他留下。
  • She implored him with tears in her eyes to forgive her. 她含泪哀求他原谅她。
32 spoke XryyC     
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说
参考例句:
  • They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
  • The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。
33 sneaking iibzMu     
a.秘密的,不公开的
参考例句:
  • She had always had a sneaking affection for him. 以前她一直暗暗倾心于他。
  • She ducked the interviewers by sneaking out the back door. 她从后门偷偷溜走,躲开采访者。
34 jack 53Hxp     
n.插座,千斤顶,男人;v.抬起,提醒,扛举;n.(Jake)杰克
参考例句:
  • I am looking for the headphone jack.我正在找寻头戴式耳机插孔。
  • He lifted the car with a jack to change the flat tyre.他用千斤顶把车顶起来换下瘪轮胎。
35 sluggish VEgzS     
adj.懒惰的,迟钝的,无精打采的
参考例句:
  • This humid heat makes you feel rather sluggish.这种湿热的天气使人感到懒洋洋的。
  • Circulation is much more sluggish in the feet than in the hands.脚部的循环比手部的循环缓慢得多。
36 chuckle Tr1zZ     
vi./n.轻声笑,咯咯笑
参考例句:
  • He shook his head with a soft chuckle.他轻轻地笑着摇了摇头。
  • I couldn't suppress a soft chuckle at the thought of it.想到这个,我忍不住轻轻地笑起来。
37 savage ECxzR     
adj.野蛮的;凶恶的,残暴的;n.未开化的人
参考例句:
  • The poor man received a savage beating from the thugs.那可怜的人遭到暴徒的痛打。
  • He has a savage temper.他脾气粗暴。
38 alas Rx8z1     
int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等)
参考例句:
  • Alas!The window is broken!哎呀!窗子破了!
  • Alas,the truth is less romantic.然而,真理很少带有浪漫色彩。
39 bent QQ8yD     
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的
参考例句:
  • He was fully bent upon the project.他一心扑在这项计划上。
  • We bent over backward to help them.我们尽了最大努力帮助他们。
40 misery G10yi     
n.痛苦,苦恼,苦难;悲惨的境遇,贫苦
参考例句:
  • Business depression usually causes misery among the working class.商业不景气常使工薪阶层受苦。
  • He has rescued me from the mire of misery.他把我从苦海里救了出来。
41 humbly humbly     
adv. 恭顺地,谦卑地
参考例句:
  • We humbly beg Your Majesty to show mercy. 我们恳请陛下发发慈悲。
  • "You must be right, Sir,'said John humbly. “你一定是对的,先生,”约翰恭顺地说道。


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