"Is it true?" she demanded, as if downright incredulous.
"Most true," he insisted with convincing simplicity3.
The tip of one gloved finger to her chin, Helena considered remotely.
"She's very beautiful," she conceded, "and sweet and fetching and hopelessly plebeian4. She'd be wonderful to have around, to look at; but to listen to.... Oh my dear! what are you thinking of?"
"Cut it," Tankerville advised from his corner. "None of your funeral, old lady."
"That consideration never yet hindered a Matthias," his wife retorted—"or a Tankerville, either, as far as I've been gifted to observe. However"—she turned again to her nephew—"you are presumably in love, and I hope you'll be happy, if ever you marry her. I shan't interfere—don't be afraid—but ... I could murder Venetia for this!"
"Good night," said Matthias, offering his hand.
But instead of taking it, his aunt leaned forward, caught his cheeks between both hands, and kissed him publicly.
"Good night," she murmured in a tragical5 voice. "And Heaven help you!... When is it going to be?"
"We haven't settled that yet," he laughed; "but you may be sure I shan't marry until I'm able to support my wife in a manner to which she's unaccustomed."
He returned to Joan with—until he recrossed the threshold of his study—a thought ironic6 concerning the inconsistency of Helena's veneration7 of caste with her union to fat, good-natured, pretentiously8 commonplace George Tankerville. For that matter, the Matthias dynasty itself was descended9 from a needy10, out-at-elbows English adventurer who had one day founded the family fortunes by taking title to Manhattan real estate in settlement of a gambling11 debt and on the next had died in a duel—the only act of thoughtful provision against improvidence12 registered in his biography. So Matthias wasn't much disposed to reverence13 his pedigree: social position, at least as a claim upon his consideration, meant little to him: the only class distinctions he was inclined to acknowledge were those created by the intellect and of the heart. In his private world people were either intelligent or stupid, either kindly14 or (stupidly) egoistic. To the first order, with humility15 of soul he aspired16; for the other he was, without condescension17, heartily18 sorry....
But there was nothing half so analytical19 as this in his temper when he rejoined Joan: only wonder and rejoicing and delight in her.
He found her near the door, tense and hesitant, as though poised20 on the point of imminent21 flight. There was in her wide eyes a look almost of consternation22; they seemed to glow, shot with the fire of her lambent thoughts. A doubting thumb and forefinger23 clipped her chin; a thin line of exquisite24 whiteness shone between her scarlet25 lips.
Closing the door, he opened his arms. She came to them swiftly and confidently. Doubts and fears vanished in the joy of his embrace; she was no longer lonely in a world unfriendly.
From the eloquent26 deeps of their submerged and blended senses, words now and again floated up like bubbles to the surface of consciousness:
"You still love me?"
"I love you."
"It wasn't pity—impulse—Jack27—?"
"It was—love. It is love. It shall be love, dear heart, forever and always...."
"You told her—your aunt—we were engaged!"
"Aren't we?"
A convulsive tightening28 of her arms....
A whisper barely articulate: "You really ... want me ... enough to marry me?"
"I love you."
"But...."
"Isn't that enough?"
"But I am—only me: nothing: a girl who dares to love you."
"Could any man ask more?"
"You.... What will your friends say?... You'll be ashamed of me."
"Hush29! That's treason."
"But you will—you won't be able to help it—"
A faint, half-hearted cry of protest: words indistinguishable, silenced by lips on lips; a space of quiet....
"How shall I make myself worthy30 of you?"
"Love me always."
"How shall I dare to meet your family, your friends—?"
"You will be my wife."
"But that won't be for a long time...."
"Yes, we must wait—be patient, Joan." She lifted her head, wondering. "But don't fear; love will sustain us."
"I will be patient. You'll have to give me time to learn how not to disgrace you—"
"What nonsense!"
"I mean it. I must be somebody. I'm nobody now."
"You are my dearest love."
"I must be more, to be your wife. Give me time to learn to act. When I am a success—"
"No more of that!" There was definite resolution in the interruption. "You must give up all thought of the stage."
"But I want to—"
"It's not the place for you—for my wife that is to be."
"But we're not to be married for a long time, you say."
"I'm a poor man, dear—I have enough for one, not enough for two. It may be only weeks, it may be months or years before my work begins to pay."
"But meantime I must live—support myself, somehow."
"You will leave that to me?"
"I must do something—be independent—"
"Won't you leave it all to me? I will arrange everything—"
"I'll do whatever you wish me to."
"And forget the stage—?"
"I don't know—I'll try, Jack."
"You must, dear one."
It was not a time for disagreements. Joan clung more closely to him. The issue languished31 in default, was forgotten for the time....
Transports ebbed32: the faintest premonitory symptoms of a return to something resembling sanity33 made their appearance; of a sudden Matthias remembered the hour.
"Do you know," he said with tender gravity, having consulted his watch, "it's after eleven?"
"It doesn't seem possible," she laughed happily.
"And I'm hungry," he announced. "Aren't you?"
She dared to be as frank as he: "Famished34!"
"Come along, then! Run, get your hat. It gives us an excuse for at least two hours more...."
By the time she had repaired the damage this miracle had wrought35 with her appearance, Matthias had walked to the Astor and brought back a taxicab. The attention affected36 Joan with a poignant37 and exquisite sense of happiness.
It was only her second ride in a motor vehicle. The top being down, they sat very circumspectly38 apart; but Matthias captured her hand and eye spoke39 to eye with secret laughter of delight, each reading the other's longing40 thought. The speed of the cab and its sudden slackening as it picked its path down Broadway, the flow of cool air against her face, the swimming maze41 of lights through which they sped, the sense of luxury and protection, added the last touch of delirious42 pleasure to Joan's mood.
Matthias had chosen the café of "Old Martin's," at Twenty-sixth Street, the first place that suggested itself as one where they could sup without the girl being made to feel out of place in her modest work-a-day attire43; but his thoughtfulness was misapplied: Joan was exalted44 beyond such annoyances45; and those feminine glances which she detected, of pity, disdain46, and jealousy47, she took complacently48 as envious49 tributes to her prettiness and her conquest.
From a seat against the wall, in a corner, she reviewed the other patrons of the smoke-wreathed room with a hauteur50 of spirit that would have seemed laughable had it been suspected. She thought of herself as the handsomest woman there, and the youngest, of Matthias as the most distinguished51 man and—the luckiest. The circumstances of the place and her partner enchanted52 her to distraction53.
The food Matthias ordered she devoured54 heedlessly; but there was a delicious novelty in the experience of sipping55 her first glass of champagne56. It was, for that matter, the first time she had ever tasted good wine, or any kind of alcoholic57 drink other than an occasional glass of lukewarm beer, cheap and nasty to begin with and half-stale at best, and that poisonous red wine of the Italian boarding-house to which Charlie Quard had introduced her. She had never dreamed of anything so delicious as this dry and exhilarating draught58 with its exotic bouquet59 and aromatic60 bubbles.
With a glowing face and dancing eyes she nodded to Matthias over the rim61 of her goblet62.
"When we are rich," she laughed softly, "I'm never going to drink anything else!"
He smiled quietly, enjoying her enjoyment63; but, when emptied, the half-bottle he had ordered was not renewed.
There was without that enough intoxication64 in his fondness, in the simulacrum of gaiety manufactured by the lights, the life, the laughter, and in the muted, interweaving strains of music. Joan felt that she was living wonderfully and intensely, a creature of an existence transcendent and radiant.
It was after one when another taxicab whisked them homeward through the quieting streets. She sat as close as could be to her lover and would not have objected on the grounds of "people looking" had he put an arm round her. Though he didn't, she was not disappointed, sharing something of his mood of sublimely65 sufficient contentment. But when he bade her good night at the foot of the stairs in the deserted66 and poorly lighted hallway, she gave herself to his caresses67 with a passion and abandon that startled and sobered Matthias, and sent him off to his room and bed in a thoughtful frame of mind.
Lying awake in darkness until darkness was dimly tempered by the formless dusk that long foreruns the dawn, he communed gravely with his troubled heart.
"Things can't go on this way—as they've started. There's got to be sanity.... It's myself I've got to watch, of course," he said with stubborn loyalty68 to his ideal. "I mustn't forget I'm a man—nine years older—nearly ten.... Why, she's hardly more than a kiddie.... She doesn't know.... I've got to watch myself...."
And in her room, four floors above, Joan sat as long before her bureau, chin cradled on her slim, laced fingers, eyeing intently the face shown her by gas-light in the one true patch of the common, tarnished69 mirror.
When at length she rose, suddenly conscious of a heavy weariness, she lingered yet another long moment for one last fond look.
"It's true," she told herself with a little nod of conviction; "I am beautiful. She said I was ... he thinks I am ... I must be...."
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1
trepidation
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| n.惊恐，惶恐 | |
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prey
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| n.被掠食者，牺牲者，掠食；v.捕食，掠夺，折磨 | |
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simplicity
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| n.简单，简易；朴素；直率，单纯 | |
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plebeian
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| adj.粗俗的；平民的；n.平民；庶民 | |
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tragical
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| adj. 悲剧的, 悲剧性的 | |
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ironic
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| adj.讽刺的，有讽刺意味的，出乎意料的 | |
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veneration
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| n.尊敬，崇拜 | |
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pretentiously
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descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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needy
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| adj.贫穷的，贫困的，生活艰苦的 | |
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gambling
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| n.赌博；投机 | |
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improvidence
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| n.目光短浅 | |
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reverence
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| n.敬畏，尊敬，尊严；Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称；v.尊敬，敬畏，崇敬 | |
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14
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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humility
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| n.谦逊，谦恭 | |
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aspired
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| v.渴望，追求( aspire的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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condescension
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| n.自以为高人一等，贬低(别人) | |
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18
heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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analytical
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| adj.分析的；用分析法的 | |
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20
poised
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| a.摆好姿势不动的 | |
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21
imminent
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| adj.即将发生的，临近的，逼近的 | |
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22
consternation
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| n.大为吃惊，惊骇 | |
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23
forefinger
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| n.食指 | |
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24
exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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25
scarlet
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| n.深红色，绯红色，红衣；adj.绯红色的 | |
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26
eloquent
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| adj.雄辩的，口才流利的；明白显示出的 | |
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27
jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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28
tightening
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| 上紧，固定，紧密 | |
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29
hush
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| int.嘘，别出声；n.沉默，静寂；v.使安静 | |
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30
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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31
languished
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| 长期受苦( languish的过去式和过去分词 )； 受折磨； 变得（越来越）衰弱； 因渴望而变得憔悴或闷闷不乐 | |
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32
ebbed
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| （指潮水）退( ebb的过去式和过去分词 )； 落； 减少； 衰落 | |
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33
sanity
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| n.心智健全，神智正常，判断正确 | |
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famished
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| adj.饥饿的 | |
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35
wrought
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| v.引起；以…原料制作；运转；adj.制造的 | |
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36
affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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poignant
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| adj.令人痛苦的，辛酸的，惨痛的 | |
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circumspectly
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| adv.慎重地，留心地 | |
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39
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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40
longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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41
maze
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| n.迷宫，八阵图，混乱，迷惑 | |
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42
delirious
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| adj.不省人事的，神智昏迷的 | |
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43
attire
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| v.穿衣，装扮[同]array；n.衣着；盛装 | |
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44
exalted
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| adj.(地位等)高的，崇高的；尊贵的，高尚的 | |
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45
annoyances
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| n.恼怒( annoyance的名词复数 )；烦恼；打扰；使人烦恼的事 | |
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46
disdain
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| n.鄙视，轻视；v.轻视，鄙视，不屑 | |
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47
jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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48
complacently
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| adv. 满足地, 自满地, 沾沾自喜地 | |
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49
envious
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| adj.嫉妒的，羡慕的 | |
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50
hauteur
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| n.傲慢 | |
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51
distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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52
enchanted
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| adj. 被施魔法的，陶醉的，入迷的 动词enchant的过去式和过去分词 | |
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53
distraction
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| n.精神涣散，精神不集中，消遣，娱乐 | |
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54
devoured
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| 吞没( devour的过去式和过去分词 )； 耗尽； 津津有味地看； 狼吞虎咽地吃光 | |
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55
sipping
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| v.小口喝，呷，抿( sip的现在分词 ) | |
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56
champagne
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| n.香槟酒；微黄色 | |
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57
alcoholic
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| adj.（含）酒精的，由酒精引起的；n.酗酒者 | |
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58
draught
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| n.拉，牵引，拖；一网（饮，吸，阵)；顿服药量，通风；v.起草，设计 | |
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59
bouquet
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| n.花束，酒香 | |
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60
aromatic
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| adj.芳香的，有香味的 | |
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61
rim
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| n.(圆物的)边，轮缘；边界 | |
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62
goblet
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| n.高脚酒杯 | |
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63
enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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64
intoxication
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| n.wild excitement;drunkenness；poisoning | |
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65
sublimely
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| 高尚地，卓越地 | |
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66
deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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67
caresses
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| 爱抚，抚摸( caress的名词复数 ) | |
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68
loyalty
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| n.忠诚，忠心 | |
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69
tarnished
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| （通常指金属）（使）失去光泽，（使）变灰暗( tarnish的过去式和过去分词 )； 玷污，败坏 | |
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