The process of widening her circle began with meeting the girl whom Joan had heard singing in the adjoining bedchamber. They passed twice in the corridors of the Astoria Inn before Joan had been resident there twenty-four hours, and on the second occasion the girl with the voice nodded in a friendly way and enquired4 if Joan didn't think the weather was simply awf'ly lovely today. Joan replied in the affirmative, and their acquaintanceship languished5 for as long as twelve hours. Then, toward six in the evening, the girl presented herself at Joan's door in a condition of candid6 deshabille, wishing to borrow a pair of curling-irons. Being accommodated, she came on into the room, perched herself on the edge of the bed, and made herself known.
Her name was Minnie Hession and she had been singing in the chorus for seven years. Originally a prettyish, plump-bodied brunette, she was at present what she herself termed "black-and-tan": in the middle of the process of "letting her hair go back." Her father was Chief of Police of some Western city (name purposely withheld7: Joan was, however, assured that she would be surprised if she knew what city) and her folks had heaps of money and had been wild with her when she insisted on going on the stage.
"But, goodness, dearie, when you've got tempryment, whatcha goin' to do? Nobody outsida the business ever understands."
All the same, much as the folks disapproved8 of her carving9 out a career for herself, whenever she got hard up all she had to do was telegraph straight back home....
She was, of course, at present without employment; but Joan was advised to wait until Arlie Arlington got back into Town; Arlie never forgot a girl who had not only a good voice but some figure, if Miss Hession did say it herself.
They went shopping together the following afternoon, and in the evening dined together at a cheap Italian restaurant, counterpart of that to which Quard had first introduced Joan and the Sisters Dean. Joan paid the bill, by no means a heavy one, and before they went home stood treat for "the movies."
After that their friendship ripened10 at a famous rate, if exclusively at Joan's expense.
Before it had endured a week Joan had loaned Minnie ten dollars. Toward the end of its first fortnight she mortally offended the girl by refusing her an additional twenty, and the next day Minnie moved from the Astoria Inn without the formality of paying her bill or even of giving notice. The management philosophically11 confiscated12 an empty suit-case which she had been too timorous13 to attempt to smuggle14 out of the house—everything else in her room had mysteriously vanished—and considered the incident closed. In this the management demonstrated its wisdom in its day and generation: it never saw Miss Hession again.
Nor did Joan.
But through the chorus girl, as well as independently, Joan had contracted many other fugitive15 friendships. She never lacked society, after that, whether masculine or feminine. Men liked her for her good looks and unaffected high spirits; women tolerated her for two reasons, because she was always willing to pay not only her own way but another's, and because she was what they considered a "swell17 dresser": her presence was an asset to whatever party she lent her countenance18.
Frankly19 revelling20 in freedom regained21, and intoxicated23 by possession of a considerable amount of money, she let herself go for a time, quite heedless of expense or consequence. Within a month she had become a familiar figure in such restaurants as Burns', Churchill's, and Shanley's; and her laughter was not infrequently heard in Jack24's when all other places of its class boasted closed doors and drawn25 blinds.
Inevitably26 she acquired a somewhat extensive knowledge of drink. Most of all she learned to love that champagne27 which Matthias had been too judicious28 to supply her and from which she had abstained29 out of consideration for Quard's weakness. But now there was no reason why she should not enjoy it in such moderation as was practised by her chosen associates. She preferred certain sweetish and heady brands whose correspondingly low cost rendered them more easy to obtain....
But with all this she never failed to practise a certain amount of circumspection30. In one respect, she refrained from growing too confidential31 about herself. That she had been the leading woman with "The Lie" was something to brag32 about: the very cards which she had been quick to have printed proclaimed the fact loudly in imitation Old English engraving33. But that she had been wife to its star was something which she was not long in discovering wasn't generally known. The success of the sketch34 was a by-word of envy among actors facing the prospect35 of an idle summer; and the route columns of Variety told her that, in line with her prediction, Quard had somehow surmounted36 his San Francisco predicament and was continuing to guide the little play upon its triumphal course. But Quard himself had always been too closely identified with stock companies of the second class to have many friends among those with whom his wife was now thrown: actors for the most part of the so-called legitimate37 stage, with scant knowledge or experience (little, at least, that they would own to) of theatrical38 conditions away from Broadway and the leading theatres of a few principal cities. So Joan kept her own counsel about her matrimonial adventure: its publication could do her no good, if possibly no harm; and she preferred the freedom of ostensible39 spinsterhood. Her wedding-ring had long since disappeared from her hand, giving place to the handsome diamond with which Matthias had pledged her his faith.
Furthermore, such dissipation as she indulged in was never permitted to carry her beyond the border-line which, in her understanding, limited discretion40 in her relations with men. She enjoyed leading them on, but marriage had made her too completely cognizant of herself to permit of any affair going beyond a certain clearly defined point: she couldn't afford to throw herself away. And more than once she checked sharply and left an undrained glass, warned by her throbbing41 pulses that she was responding a trace too ardently42 to the admiration43 in the eyes of some male companion of the evening.
But there were only two whom she held dangerous to her peace of mind, one because she was afraid of him, the other because she admired him against her will.
The first was an eccentric dancer and comedian44 calling himself Billy Salute45. A man of middle-age and old beyond his years in viciousness, the gymnastic violence of his calling in great measure counteracted46 the effects of his excesses and kept him young in body. He was a constant and heavy but what was known to Joan's circle as a safe drinker; drunkenness never obliterated47 his consciousness or disturbed his physical equilibrium48; in spite of its web of wrinkles, his skin remained fair and clear as a boy's, and retained much of the fresh colouring of youth. But his eyes were cold and hard and profoundly informed with knowledge of womankind. His regard affected16 Joan as had Marbridge's, that day at Tanglewood; under its analysis she felt herself denuded49; pretence50 were futile51 to combat it: the man knew her.
He made no advances; but he watched her closely whenever they were together; and she knew that he was only waiting, patient in the conviction that he had only to wait.
And thus he affected her with such fear and fascination52 that she avoided him as much as possible; but he was never far out of her thoughts; he lingered always on the horizon of her consciousness like the seemingly immobile yet portentous53 bank of cloud that masks the fury of a summer storm....
The other man pursued her without ceasing. He was young, not over twenty-five or six—an age to which Joan felt herself immeasurably superior in the knowledge and practice of life—and happened to be the one man of her acquaintance who was neither an actor nor connected with the business side of the stage. By some accident he had blundered from newspaper reporting to writing for cheaply sensational54 magazines, and from this to writing for the stage. It is true that his achievements in this last quarter had thus far been confined to collaboration55 with a successful playwright56 on the dramatization of one of his stories; but that didn't lessen57 his self-esteem and assertiveness58. He claimed extraordinary ability for himself in a quite matter-of-fact tone, and on his own word was on terms of intimacy59 with every leading manager and star in the country. Nobody Joan knew troubled to contradict his pretensions60, and despite that wide and seasoned view of life she believed herself to possess she was still inexperienced enough to credit more than half that he told her, never appreciating that, had the man been what he claimed, he would have had no time to waste toadying61 to actors.
He might, if not discouraged, prove very useful to her.
In fact, he promised to—repeatedly.
More than this, his attentions flattered her more than she would have cared to confess even to herself. He didn't lack wit, wasn't without intelligence, and the power of his imagination couldn't be denied; thus he figured to her as the only man of mental attainments62 she had known since Matthias. It was something to be desired by such as this one, even though his abnormally developed egotism sometimes seemed appalling63.
It manifested itself in more ways than one: in his strut64, in the foppishness of his dress, in his elaborate affectation of an English accent. He was a small person by the average standard, and slender, but well-formed, and wore clothing admirably tailored if always of an extreme cut. His cheeks were too fleshy, almost plump: something which had the effect of making his rather delicate features seem pinched. Near-sighted, he wore customarily a horn-rimmed pince-nez from which a wide black ribbon dangled65 like a mourning-band.
His name was Hubert Fowey.
So Joan tolerated him, encouraged him moderately through motives66 of self-interest, checked him with laughter when he tried to make love to her, secretly admired him even when his conceit67 was most fatiguing68, and wondered what manner of women he had known to make him think that she would ever yield to his insistence69....
She had been nearly six weeks in New York when she awoke one morning to rest in languorous70 regret of a late supper the preceding night, and to wonder whither she was tending, spurred to self-examination by that singularly clear introspective vision which not infrequently follows intemperance—at least, when one is young.
She was reminded sharply that, since returning to Town, she had made hardly a single attempt to find work, beyond having her professional cards printed.
And this was the edge of Summer....
Where would the Autumn find her?
Slipping quickly out of bed, she collected her store of money, and counted it for the first time in several weeks.
The sum total showed a shocking discrepancy71 between cold fact and the small fortune she had all along been permitting herself to believe she possessed72. Even allowing for these heavy initial purchases on returning to New York, her capital had shrunk alarmingly.
She began anew, that day, the rounds of managers' offices.
Also, she laid down for her guidance a rigid73 schedule of economies. Only by strict observance thereof would she be able to scrape through the Summer without work or financial assistance from some quarter.
Characteristically, she mourned now, but transiently, that she had so long deferred74 going to see her mother and Edna—something now obviously out of the question; they would want money, to a certainty, and Joan had none to spare them.
A few days later she moved to share, half-and-half, the expenses of a three-room apartment on Fiftieth Street, near Eighth Avenue, with a minor75 actress whom she had recently met and taken a fancy to. Life was rather less expensive under this régime; the young women got their own breakfasts and, as a rule, lunches that were quite as meagre: repasts chiefly composed of crackers76, cold meats from a convenient delicatessen shop, with sometimes a bottle of beer shared between two. If no one offered a dinner in exchange for their society, they would dine frugally77 at the cheaper restaurants of the neighbourhood. But their admirers they shared loyally: if one were invited to dine, the other accompanied her as a matter of course.
An arrangement apparently78 conducive79 to the most complete intimacy; neither party thereto doubted that she was in the full confidence of the other. There were, none the less, reservations on both sides.
Harriet Morrison, Joan's latest companion, was a girl whose very considerable personal attractions and innate80 love of pleasure were balanced by greenish eyes, a firm jaw81, and the sincere conviction that straight-going and hard work would lead her to success upon the legitimate stage. She knew Joan for an incurable82 opportunist with few convictions of any sort other than that she could act if given a chance, and that men, if properly managed, would give her that chance. For one so temperamentally her opposite, Hattie couldn't help entertaining some unspoken contempt. On the other hand, she believed Joan to be decent, as yet; and halving83 the cost of living permitted her to indulge in the luxury of a week-end at the seaside once or twice a month.
One day near the first of July the two, happening to meet on Broadway after a morning of fruitless search for engagements, turned for luncheon84 into Shanley's new restaurant—by way of an unusual treat.
They had barely given their order when Matthias came in accompanied by a manager who had offices in the Bryant Building, and sat down at a table not altogether out of speaking-distance.
To cover her discomfiture85, which betrayed itself in flushed cheeks, Joan complained of the heat: an explanation accepted by Hattie without question, since Matthias had not yet looked their way.
Joan prayed that he might not; but the thing was inevitable86, and it was no less inevitable that he should look at the precise instant when Joan, unable longer to curb87 her curiosity, raised her eyes to his.
For a moment she fancied that he didn't recognize her. But then his face brightened, and he nodded and smiled, coolly, perhaps, but civilly, without the least evidence of confusion. They might have been the most casual acquaintances.
And, indeed, the incident would probably have passed unremarked but for the promptings of Joan's conscience. She was sure the glance of Matthias had shifted from her face to the hand on which his diamond shone, and had rested there for a significant moment.
As a matter of fact, nothing of the sort had happened. Matthias was absorbed in negotiations88 concerning an old play which had caught the fancy of the manager. Joan, though he knew her at sight, was now too inconsiderable a figure in his world for him to recall, off-hand, that he had ever made her a present.
Nevertheless the girl coloured furiously, and blushed again under the inquisitive89 stare of her companion.
"Who's that?"
"Who?" Joan muttered sullenly90.
"The fellow who bowed to you just now."
"Oh, that?" Joan made an unconvincing effort at speaking casually91: "A man named Matthias—a playwright, I believe."
"Oh," said the other girl quietly. "Never done anything much, has he?"
"I don't know."
"You don't know him very well?"
There was a touch of irony92 in the question that struck sparks from Joan's temper.
"That's my business!"
"I'm sure I beg your pardon," Hattie drawled exasperatingly93.
And the incident was considered closed, though it didn't pass without leaving its indelible effect upon their association.
With Joan it had another result: it made her think. Retrospectively examining the contretemps, after she had gone to bed that night, she arrived at the comforting conclusion that she had been a little fool to think that Matthias "held that old ring against her." He hadn't been her lover for several weeks without furnishing the girl with a fairly clear revelation of his character. He was simple-hearted and sincere; she could not remember his uttering one ungenerous word or being guilty of one ungenerous action, and she didn't believe he could make room in his mind for an ungenerous thought.
Now if she were to return it, he would think that fine of her....
Of course, she must take it back in person. If she returned it by registered mail, he would have reason to believe her afraid to meet him—that she had been frightened by his mere94 glance into sending it back.
Not that she hadn't every right in the world to keep it, if she liked: there was no law compelling a girl to return her engagement ring when she broke with a man.
But Matthias would admire her for it.
Moreover, it was just possible that he hadn't as yet arrived at the stage of complete indifference95 toward her. And he had "the ear of the managers."
Nerving herself to the ordeal96, two days later, she dressed with elaborate care in the suit she had worn on her flight from Quard. Newly sponged and pressed, it was quite presentable, if a little heavy for the season; moreover, it lacked the lustre97 and style of her later acquisitions. It wouldn't do to seem too prosperous....
It was a Saturday afternoon, and Hattie had taken herself off to a nearby ocean beach for the week-end; something for which Joan was grateful, inasmuch as it enabled her to dress her part without exciting comment.
To her relief, a servant new to the house since her time, answered her ring at the bell of Number 289, and with an indifferent nod indicated the door to the back-parlour.
Behind that portal Matthias was working furiously against time, carpentering against the grain that play to discuss which he had lunched at Shanley's; the managerial personage having offered to consider it seriously if certain changes were made. And the playwright was in haste to be quit of the job, not only because he disapproved heartily98 of the stipulated99 alterations100, but further because he was booked for some weeks in Maine as soon as the revision was finished.
Humanly, then, he was little pleased to be warned, through the medium of a knock, that his work was to suffer interruption.
He swore mildly beneath his breath, glanced suspiciously at the non-committal door, growled101 brusque permission to enter, and bent102 again over the manuscript, refusing to look up until he had pursued a thread of thought to its conclusion, and knotted that same all ship-shape.
And when at length he consented to be aware of the young woman on his threshold, waiting in a pose of patience, her eyes wide with doubt and apprehensions103, his mind was so completely detached from any thought of Joan that he failed, at first, to recognize her.
But the alien presence brought him to his feet quickly enough.
"I beg your pardon," he said with an uncertain nod. "You wished to see me about something?"
Closing the door, Joan came slowly forward into stronger light.
"You don't remember me?" she asked, half perplexed104, half wistful of aspect. "But I thought—the other day—at Shanley's—"
"But of course I remember you," Matthias interrupted with a constrained105 smile. "But I wasn't—ah—expecting you—not exactly—you understand."
"Oh, yes," Joan replied in subdued106 and dubious107 accents—"I understand."
She waited a moment, watching narrowly under cover of assumed embarrassment108, the signs of genuine astonishment109 which Matthias felt too keenly to think of concealing110. Then she added an uneasy:
"Of course...."
"Of course!" Matthias echoed witlessly. "You wanted to see me about something," he iterated, wandering. With an effort he pulled himself together. "Won't you sit down—ah—Joan?"
"Thank you," said the girl. "But I'm afraid I'm in the way," she amended111, dropping back into the old, worn, easy-chair.
"Oh, no—I—"
The insincerity of his disclaimer was manifest in an apologetic glance toward the manuscript and a hasty thrust of fingers up through his hair. Joan caught him up quickly.
"Oh, but I know I am, so I shan't stay," she said, settling herself comfortably. "I only ask a minute or two of your time. You don't mind?"
"Mind? Why, I—certainly not."
She looked down as if disconcerted by his honest, perplexed, questioning eyes.
"I was afraid you might, after—after what's happened—"
He fumbled112 for a cigarette, beginning to feel more calm, less nervous than annoyed. The fact of her unruffled self-possession had at length penetrated113 his understanding.
"No," he said slowly, rolling the cigarette between his palms, "I don't mind in the least, if I can be of service to you."
"But I was very foolish," Joan persisted, "and—and unkind. I've been sorry ever since...."
"Don't be," Matthias begged, his tone so odd that she looked up swiftly and coloured.
Thus far everything had gone famously, quite as rehearsed in the theatre of her optimistic fancy; but the new accent in his voice made her suddenly fear lest, after all, the little scene might not play itself out as smoothly114 as it had promised to.
"Don't be," Matthias repeated coolly. "It's quite all right. Take my word for it: as far as I'm concerned you've nothing at all to reproach yourself with."
Her flush deepened. "You mean you didn't care—!"
Matthias smiled, but not unkindly. "I mean," he said slowly—"neither of us really cared."
"Speak for yourself—" Joan cut in with a flash of temper; but he obtained her silence with a gentle gesture.
"Please ... I mean, we both lost our heads for a time. That was all there was to it, I think. Naturally it couldn't last. You were wise enough to see that first and—ah—did the only thing you decently could, when you threw me over. I understood that, at once."
"But I," she began in a desperate effort to regain22 lost ground—"I was afraid you'd hate and despise me—"
"Not a bit, Joan—believe me, not for an instant. When I had had time to think it all out, I was simply grateful. I could never have learned to hate or despise you—as you put it—whatever happened; but if you hadn't been so sensible and far-sighted, the affair might have run on too far to be remedied. In which case we'd both have been horribly unhappy."
This was so far from the attitude she had believed he would adopt, that Joan understood her cause to be worse than forlorn: it was lost; lost, that is, unless it could be saved by her premeditated heroic measure.
Fumbling115 in her bag, she found his ring.
"Perhaps you're right," she said with a little sigh. "Anyhow, it's like you to put it that way.... But what I really came for, was to return this."
She offered the ring. He looked, startled, from it to her face, hesitated, and took it. "O—thanks!" he said, adding quite truthfully: "I'd forgotten about that"; and tossed it carelessly to his work-table where, rolling across the face of a manuscript, it oscillated momentarily and settling to rest, seemed to wink116 cynically117 at its late possessor.
Joan blinked hastily in response: there was a transient little mist before her eyes; and momentarily her lips trembled with true emotion. The scene was working out more painfully than she had ever in her direst misgivings118 dreamed it might.
Deep in her heart she had all along nursed the hope that he would insist on her retaining the ring. That would have been like the Matthias of her memories!
But now he seemed to think that she ought to be glad thus to disburden her conscience and by just so much to modify her indebtedness to him!
Struck by this thought, Joan gasped119 inwardly, and examined with startled eyes the face of Matthias. It was her first reminder120 of the fact that he had left her one hundred and fifty unearned dollars. She had forgotten all about that till this instant. Otherwise, she would have hesitated longer about calling. She wondered if he were thinking of the same thing; but his face afforded no index to his thoughts. He wasn't looking at her at all, in fact, but down, in abstraction, studying the faded pattern of the carpet at his feet.
She wondered if perhaps it would advance her interests to offer to return the money, to pay it back bit by bit—when she found work. But wisely she refrained from acting121 on this suggestion.
"I'm sorry I was so long about bringing it back," she resumed with an artificial manner. "I was always meaning to, you know, and always kept putting it off. You know how it is when you're on the road: one never seems to have any time to one's self."
"I quite understand," Matthias assured her gravely.
She grew sensitive to the fact that he was being patient with her.
"But I really mustn't keep you from your work," she said, rising. "You—you knew I was working, didn't you?"
"I heard," Matthias evaded—"in a roundabout way—that you were playing in vaudeville122."
The girl nodded vigorously. "Oh, yes; I was all over, playing the lead in a sketch called 'The Lie.' It was a regular knock-out. You ought to have seen how it got over. It's still playing, somewhere out West, I guess."
"You left it, then?" Matthias asked, bored, heartily wishing her out of the house.
She was aching to know if he had learned of her marriage. But then she felt sure he couldn't possibly have heard about it. Still, she wondered, if he did know, would it modify his attitude toward her in any way?
"Yes," she resumed briskly, to cover her momentary123 hesitation124, "I left it the week we played 'Frisco. I had to. The star and I couldn't seem to hit it off, somehow. You know how that is."
"And yet you must have managed to agree with him pretty well, from all I hear."
"What did you hear?"
(Did he really know, then?)
"Why," Matthias explained ingeniously, "you must have been with the sketch for several months, by your own account. You couldn't have been bickering125 all that time."
Confidence returned.... "Oh, that! Yes, of course. But I could see it coming a long ways ahead. So I quit, and came back to look for another engagement. You—"
She broke off, stammering126.
"Beg pardon?" Matthias queried127 curiously128.
Joan flushed again. "You don't know of anything I could do, just now, I suppose?"
He shook his head. "Not at present, I'm afraid."
"If you should hear of anything, it would be awful' good of you to let me know."
"Depend upon me, I shall."
"Care of The Dramatic Mirror will always get me."
"I shan't forget."
"Well...." She offered him her hand with a splendidly timid smile. "I suppose it's good-bye for good this time."
Matthias accepted her hand, shook it without a tremor129, and released it easily.
"I've a notion it is, Joan," he admitted.
She turned toward the door, advanced a pace or two, and paused.
"They say Arlington's going to make a lot of new productions next Fall...."
"Yes?"
"Well, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind putting in a good word for me."
"I would be glad to, but unfortunately I don't know Mr. Arlington."
"But you know Mr. Marbridge, and everybody says he's Arlington's silent partner."
Matthias looked as uncomfortable as he felt.
"I am not sure that is true," he said slowly, "and—well, to tell the truth, Marbridge and I aren't on the best of terms. I'm afraid I couldn't influence him in any way—except, perhaps, to prejudice him."
"Oh!" Joan said blankly....
It came to her, in a flash, that the two men might have quarrelled about her, thanks to the obvious fascination she had exerted over Marbridge, that age-old day at Tanglewood.
"I suppose," she ventured pensively130, "I might go to see him—Mr. Marbridge—myself—?"
"I'm afraid I can't advise you."
This time the accent of finality was unmistakable. Joan bridled131 with resentment132. After all, he'd no real call to be so uppish, simply because she hadn't let him stand between her and her career....
"You don't really think I ought to go and see him, do you?"
"I wish you wouldn't ask me, Joan."
"But I've got no one to advise me.... If you don't think it wise, I wish you'd say so. I thought perhaps it was a chance...."
Matthias shrugged133, excessively irritated by her persistence134. "I can only say that I wouldn't advise any woman to look to Marbridge for anything honourable," he said reluctantly.
"Oh!" the girl said in a startled tone.
"But—I'm sorry you made me say that. It's none of my affair. Please forget I said it."
"But you make it so hard for me."
"I?" he cried indignantly—"I make it hard for you!"
"Well, I come to you for advice—friendly advice—and you close in my very face the only door I can see to any sort of work. It's—it's pretty hard. I can act, I know I can act! I guess I proved that when I was with Charlie—Mr. Quard—the star of 'The Lie,' you know. I couldn't've stuck as long as I did if I hadn't had talent.... But back here in New York, all that doesn't seem to count. Here I've been going around for two months, and all they offer me is a chorus job with some road company. But Arlington ... he employs more girls than anybody in the business. I know he'd give me a chance to show what I can do, if I could only get to him. And then you tell me not to try to get to him the only way I know."
Abruptly135 Joan ceased, breathing heavily after that long and, even to her, unexpected speech. But it had been well delivered: she could feel that. She clenched136 her hands at her sides in a gesture plagiarized137 from a soubrette star in one of her infrequent scenes of stage excitement; and stood regarding Matthias with wide, accusing eyes.
His own were blank....
He was trying to account to himself for the fact that this girl seemed to have the knack138 of making him feel a heartless scoundrel, even when his stand was morally impregnable, even though it were unassailable.
Here was this girl, evidently convinced that he had not dealt squarely with her, believing that he deliberately139 withheld—out of pique140, perhaps—aid in his power to offer her....
He passed a hand wearily across his eyes, and turned back toward his work-chair.
"You'd better sit down," he said quietly, "while I think this out."
Without a word the girl returned to the arm-chair and perched herself gingerly upon the edge of it, ready to rise and flee (she seemed) whenever it should pardonably suggest itself to Matthias that the only right and reasonable thing for him to do was to rise up and murder her....
On his part, sitting, he rested elbows upon the litter of manuscript, and held his head in his hands.
He was sorry now that he had yielded to the temptation to be plain-spoken about Arlington and Marbridge. But she had driven him to it; and she was an empty-headed little thing and ought really to be kept out of that galley141. On the other hand, he was afraid that if he allowed himself to be persuaded to help her find a new engagement, she would misunderstand his motives one way or another—most probably the one. He couldn't afford to have her run away with the notion that his affection for her had been merely hibernating142. He had not only himself, he had Venetia to think of, now. To her he had dedicated his life, to a dumb, quixotic passion. Some day she might need him; some day, it seemed certain, she would need him. She was presently to have a child; and Marbridge was going on from bad to worse; things could not forever endure as they were between those two. And then she would be friendless, a woman with a child fighting for the right to live in solitary143 decency144....
But Joan!... If she were headed that way, toward the Arlington wheel within the wheel of the stage, even at risk of blame and misunderstanding Matthias felt that he ought to do what could be done to set her back upon the right road. It was too bad, really. And it was none of his business. The girl had given herself to the theatre of her own volition145, after all. Or had she? Had the right of choice been accorded her? Or was it simply that she had been designed by Nature especially for that business, to which women of her calibre seemed so essential? Was she, after all, simply life-stuff manufactured hastily and carelessly in an old, worn mould, because destined146 solely147 to be fed wholesale148 into the insatiable maw of the stage?
He shook his head in weary doubt, and sighed.
"Probably," he said, fumbling with a pen and avoiding her eyes—"I presume—you'd better come back in a day or two—say Tuesday. That will give me time to look round and see what I can scare up for you. Or perhaps Wednesday would be even better...."
He dropped the pen and rose, his manner inviting149 her to leave.
"Wednesday?" she repeated, reluctantly getting up again.
"At four, if that's convenient."
"Yes, indeed, it is. And ... thank you so much ... Jack."
"No, no," Matthias expostulated wearily.
"No, I mean it," she insisted. "You're awf'ly sweet not to be—unkind to me."
"Believe me, I could never be that."
"Then—g'dafternoon."
"Good afternoon, Joan."
But as he moved to open the door, his eyes were caught by the flash from a facet150 of the diamond; and the thought came to him that its presence there assorted151 ill with his latest assurance to the girl. Catching152 it up, he offered it to Joan as she was about to go.
"And this," he said, smiling—"don't forget it, please."
Automatically her hand moved out to take it, but was stayed. Her eyes widened with true consternation153, and she gasped faintly.
"You—you don't mean it?"
"Oh, yes, I do. Please take it. I've really no use for it, Joan, and—well, you and I know what professional life means." He grinned awry154. "It might be of service to you some day."
With a cry of gratitude155 that was half a sob156, but with no other acknowledgment, the girl accepted the gift, stumbled through the door in a daze157, and so from the house.
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| adj.不充分的，不足的；v.减缩，限制，忽略 | |
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milieu
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| n.环境；出身背景；(个人所处的)社会环境 | |
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dedicated
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| adj.一心一意的；献身的；热诚的 | |
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enquired
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| 打听( enquire的过去式和过去分词 )； 询问； 问问题； 查问 | |
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languished
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| 长期受苦( languish的过去式和过去分词 )； 受折磨； 变得（越来越）衰弱； 因渴望而变得憔悴或闷闷不乐 | |
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candid
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| adj.公正的，正直的；坦率的 | |
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withheld
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| withhold过去式及过去分词 | |
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disapproved
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| v.不赞成( disapprove的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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9
carving
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| n.雕刻品，雕花 | |
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ripened
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| v.成熟，使熟( ripen的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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philosophically
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| adv.哲学上；富有哲理性地；贤明地；冷静地 | |
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confiscated
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| 没收，充公( confiscate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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13
timorous
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| adj.胆怯的，胆小的 | |
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14
smuggle
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| vt.私运；vi.走私 | |
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15
fugitive
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| adj.逃亡的，易逝的；n.逃犯，逃亡者 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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17
swell
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| vi.膨胀，肿胀；增长，增强 | |
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18
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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19
frankly
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| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
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20
revelling
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| v.作乐( revel的现在分词 )；狂欢；着迷；陶醉 | |
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21
regained
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| 复得( regain的过去式和过去分词 )； 赢回； 重回； 复至某地 | |
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22
regain
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| vt.重新获得，收复，恢复 | |
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23
intoxicated
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| 喝醉的，极其兴奋的 | |
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24
jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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25
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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26
inevitably
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| adv.不可避免地；必然发生地 | |
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27
champagne
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| n.香槟酒；微黄色 | |
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28
judicious
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| adj.明智的，明断的，能作出明智决定的 | |
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29
abstained
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| v.戒（尤指酒），戒除( abstain的过去式和过去分词 )；弃权（不投票） | |
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30
circumspection
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| n.细心，慎重 | |
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31
confidential
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| adj.秘（机）密的，表示信任的，担任机密工作的 | |
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32
brag
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| v./n.吹牛，自夸；adj.第一流的 | |
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33
engraving
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| n.版画；雕刻（作品）；雕刻艺术；镌版术v.在（硬物）上雕刻（字，画等）( engrave的现在分词 )；将某事物深深印在（记忆或头脑中） | |
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34
sketch
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| n.草图；梗概；素描；v.素描；概述 | |
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35
prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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36
surmounted
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| 战胜( surmount的过去式和过去分词 )； 克服（困难）； 居于…之上； 在…顶上 | |
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37
legitimate
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| adj.合法的，合理的，合乎逻辑的；v.使合法 | |
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38
theatrical
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| adj.剧场的，演戏的；做戏似的，做作的 | |
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39
ostensible
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| adj.(指理由)表面的，假装的 | |
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40
discretion
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| n.谨慎；随意处理 | |
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41
throbbing
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| a. 跳动的,悸动的 | |
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42
ardently
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| adv.热心地，热烈地 | |
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43
admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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44
comedian
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| n.喜剧演员；滑稽演员 | |
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45
salute
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| vi.行礼，致意，问候，放礼炮；vt.向…致意，迎接，赞扬；n.招呼，敬礼，礼炮 | |
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46
counteracted
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| 对抗，抵消( counteract的过去式 ) | |
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47
obliterated
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| v.除去( obliterate的过去式和过去分词 )；涂去；擦掉；彻底破坏或毁灭 | |
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48
equilibrium
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| n.平衡，均衡，相称，均势，平静 | |
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49
denuded
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| adj.[医]变光的，裸露的v.使赤裸( denude的过去式和过去分词 )；剥光覆盖物 | |
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50
pretence
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| n.假装，作假；借口，口实；虚伪；虚饰 | |
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51
futile
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| adj.无效的，无用的，无希望的 | |
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52
fascination
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| n.令人着迷的事物，魅力，迷恋 | |
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53
portentous
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| adj.不祥的，可怕的，装腔作势的 | |
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54
sensational
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| adj.使人感动的，非常好的，轰动的，耸人听闻的 | |
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55
collaboration
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| n.合作，协作；勾结 | |
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56
playwright
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| n.剧作家，编写剧本的人 | |
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57
lessen
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| vt.减少，减轻；缩小 | |
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58
assertiveness
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| n.过分自信 | |
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59
intimacy
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| n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行 | |
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60
pretensions
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| 自称( pretension的名词复数 )； 自命不凡； 要求； 权力 | |
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61
toadying
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| v.拍马，谄媚( toady的现在分词 ) | |
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62
attainments
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| 成就，造诣； 获得( attainment的名词复数 )； 达到； 造诣； 成就 | |
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63
appalling
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| adj.骇人听闻的，令人震惊的，可怕的 | |
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64
strut
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| v.肿胀，鼓起；大摇大摆地走；炫耀；支撑；撑开；n.高视阔步；支柱，撑杆 | |
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65
dangled
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| 悬吊着( dangle的过去式和过去分词 )； 摆动不定； 用某事物诱惑…； 吊胃口 | |
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66
motives
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| n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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67
conceit
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| n.自负，自高自大 | |
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68
fatiguing
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| a.使人劳累的 | |
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69
insistence
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| n.坚持；强调；坚决主张 | |
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70
languorous
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| adj.怠惰的，没精打采的 | |
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71
discrepancy
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| n.不同；不符；差异；矛盾 | |
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72
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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73
rigid
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| adj.严格的，死板的；刚硬的，僵硬的 | |
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74
deferred
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| adj.延期的，缓召的v.拖延，延缓，推迟( defer的过去式和过去分词 )；服从某人的意愿，遵从 | |
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75
minor
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| adj.较小(少)的，较次要的；n.辅修学科；vi.辅修 | |
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76
crackers
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| adj.精神错乱的，癫狂的n.爆竹( cracker的名词复数 )；薄脆饼干；（认为）十分愉快的事；迷人的姑娘 | |
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77
frugally
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| adv. 节约地, 节省地 | |
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78
apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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79
conducive
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| adj.有益的，有助的 | |
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80
innate
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| adj.天生的，固有的，天赋的 | |
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81
jaw
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| n.颚，颌，说教，流言蜚语；v.喋喋不休，教训 | |
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82
incurable
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| adj.不能医治的，不能矫正的，无救的；n.不治的病人，无救的人 | |
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83
halving
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| n.对分，二等分，减半[航空、航海]等分v.把…分成两半( halve的现在分词 )；把…减半；对分；平摊 | |
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84
luncheon
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| n.午宴，午餐，便宴 | |
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85
discomfiture
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| n.崩溃；大败；挫败；困惑 | |
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86
inevitable
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| adj.不可避免的，必然发生的 | |
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87
curb
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| n.场外证券市场，场外交易；vt.制止，抑制 | |
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88
negotiations
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| 协商( negotiation的名词复数 )； 谈判； 完成（难事）； 通过 | |
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89
inquisitive
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| adj.求知欲强的，好奇的，好寻根究底的 | |
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90
sullenly
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| 不高兴地，绷着脸，忧郁地 | |
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91
casually
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| adv.漠不关心地，无动于衷地，不负责任地 | |
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92
irony
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| n.反语，冷嘲；具有讽刺意味的事，嘲弄 | |
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93
exasperatingly
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94
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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95
indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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96
ordeal
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| n.苦难经历，（尤指对品格、耐力的）严峻考验 | |
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97
lustre
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| n.光亮，光泽；荣誉 | |
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98
heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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99
stipulated
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| vt.& vi.规定；约定adj.[法]合同规定的 | |
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100
alterations
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| n.改动( alteration的名词复数 )；更改；变化；改变 | |
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101
growled
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| v.（动物）发狺狺声， （雷）作隆隆声( growl的过去式和过去分词 )；低声咆哮着说 | |
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102
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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103
apprehensions
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| 疑惧 | |
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104
perplexed
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| adj.不知所措的 | |
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105
constrained
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| adj.束缚的,节制的 | |
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106
subdued
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| adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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107
dubious
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| adj.怀疑的，无把握的；有问题的，靠不住的 | |
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108
embarrassment
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| n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫 | |
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109
astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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110
concealing
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，遮住( conceal的现在分词 ) | |
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111
Amended
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| adj. 修正的 动词amend的过去式和过去分词 | |
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112
fumbled
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| （笨拙地）摸索或处理（某事物）( fumble的过去式和过去分词 )； 乱摸，笨拙地弄； 使落下 | |
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113
penetrated
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| adj. 击穿的，鞭辟入里的 动词penetrate的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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114
smoothly
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| adv.平滑地，顺利地，流利地，流畅地 | |
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115
fumbling
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| n. 摸索,漏接 v. 摸索,摸弄,笨拙的处理 | |
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116
wink
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| n.眨眼，使眼色，瞬间；v.眨眼，使眼色，闪烁 | |
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117
cynically
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| adv.爱嘲笑地，冷笑地 | |
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118
misgivings
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| n.疑虑，担忧，害怕；疑虑，担心，恐惧( misgiving的名词复数 )；疑惧 | |
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119
gasped
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| v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
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120
reminder
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| n.提醒物，纪念品；暗示，提示 | |
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121
acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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122
vaudeville
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| n.歌舞杂耍表演 | |
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123
momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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124
hesitation
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| n.犹豫，踌躇 | |
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125
bickering
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| v.争吵( bicker的现在分词 )；口角；（水等）作潺潺声；闪烁 | |
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stammering
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| v.结巴地说出( stammer的现在分词 ) | |
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queried
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| v.质疑，对…表示疑问( query的过去式和过去分词 )；询问 | |
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curiously
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| adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地 | |
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tremor
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| n.震动，颤动，战栗，兴奋，地震 | |
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pensively
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| adv.沉思地，焦虑地 | |
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131
bridled
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| 给…套龙头( bridle的过去式和过去分词 )； 控制； 昂首表示轻蔑（或怨忿等）； 动怒，生气 | |
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resentment
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| n.怨愤，忿恨 | |
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133
shrugged
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| vt.耸肩（shrug的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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134
persistence
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| n.坚持，持续，存留 | |
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135
abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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clenched
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| v.紧握，抓紧，咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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plagiarized
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| v.剽窃，抄袭( plagiarize的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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138
knack
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| n.诀窍，做事情的灵巧的，便利的方法 | |
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139
deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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140
pique
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| v.伤害…的自尊心，使生气 n.不满，生气 | |
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galley
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| n.（飞机或船上的）厨房单层甲板大帆船；军舰舰长用的大划艇； | |
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142
hibernating
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| （某些动物）冬眠，蛰伏( hibernate的现在分词 ) | |
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143
solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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decency
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| n.体面，得体，合宜，正派，庄重 | |
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volition
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| n.意志；决意 | |
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146
destined
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| adj.命中注定的；(for)以…为目的地的 | |
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solely
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| adv.仅仅，唯一地 | |
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148
wholesale
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| n.批发；adv.以批发方式；vt.批发，成批出售 | |
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149
inviting
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| adj.诱人的，引人注目的 | |
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150
facet
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| n.(问题等的)一个方面；(多面体的)面 | |
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151
assorted
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| adj.各种各样的，各色俱备的 | |
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152
catching
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| adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住 | |
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153
consternation
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| n.大为吃惊，惊骇 | |
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154
awry
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| adj.扭曲的，错的 | |
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155
gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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156
sob
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| n.空间轨道的轰炸机；呜咽，哭泣 | |
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daze
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| v.(使)茫然，(使)发昏 | |
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