The situation was, however, delightful2: it was charming to sit and look at Sylvia, her portfolio3 in her lap, pen in hand, and her blue eyes turned toward me, anxiously waiting for me to speak; it was so enchanting4 that my mind could with difficulty be kept to the work in hand. But it would not do to keep Sylvia waiting. Her pen began to tap impatiently upon the paper, and I went on. We had written a page or two when she interrupted me.
"It seems to me," she said, "that if Tomaso really starts for Naples it will be a good while before we get to the end of the story. So far as I am concerned, you know, I would like the story just as long as you choose to make it; but we haven't very much time, and it would be a dreadful disappointment to me if I should have to go away before the story is ended."
"Why do you feel in a hurry?" I asked. "If we do not finish this morning, cannot I come to you to-morrow?"
"Oh, no, indeed," she answered. "It's only by the merest chance, you know, that I am writing for you this morning, and I couldn't do it again. That would be impossible. In fact, I want to get through before the boat comes back. Not that I should mind mother, for she knows that I used to write for you, and I could easily explain how I came to be doing it now; and I should not care about Uncle or Mr. Heming; but as for Miss Laniston,—that is the lady who is visiting us,—I would not have her see me doing this for anything in the world. She hates the House of Martha, although she used to be one of its friends, and I know that she would like to see me leave the sisterhood. She ridicules5 us whenever she has a chance, and to see me here would be simply nuts to her."
"Is she a bad-tempered6 lady?" I asked. "Do you know her very well? Could you trust her in regard to anything important?"
"Oh, I know her well enough," said Sylvia. "She has always been a friend of the family. She is wonderfully well educated, and knows everything and has never married, and travels all about by herself, and is just as independent as she can be. She has very strong opinions about things, and doesn't hesitate to tell you them, no matter whether she thinks you like it or not. I have no doubt she is perfectly7 trustworthy and honorable, and all that; but if you knew her, I do not think you would like her, and you can easily see why I shouldn't want her to see me doing this. It would give her a chance for no end of sneers8 at the work of the sisters."
"Has she never said anything about your acting9 as my amanuensis?" I asked.
"No, indeed," replied Sylvia. "You may be sure she never heard of that, or she would have made fun enough of it."
It was impossible for me to allow this dear girl to remain longer in ignorance of the true state of affairs.
"Miss Raynor," I said,—how I longed to say "Sylvia"!—"I am ashamed that I have allowed you to remain as long as this under a misunderstanding, but in truth I did not understand the case myself. I did not know that the lady of this house was your mother, but I have met her, and have been kindly10 entertained by her. I did not know Miss Laniston's name, but I have also met her, and talked to her about you, and she knows you used to write for me, and I do not like her."
Sylvia answered not a word, but, as she sat and looked at me with wide-open eyes, I told her what had happened since my companion and I had landed at Racket Island. I omitted only my confidences to Mother Anastasia and Miss Laniston.
"Mother Anastasia has been here," repeated Sylvia, "and she never told me! That surpasses all. And mother never mentioned that you had been here, nor did any one." She gazed steadfastly11 upon the ground, a little pale, and presently she said, "I think I understand it, but it need not be discussed;" and, closing her portfolio, she rose to her feet.
"Sylvia," I exclaimed, springing up and stepping nearer to her, "it must be discussed! Ever since I parted from you at the window of your writing-room I have been yearning12 to speak to you. I do not understand the actions of your family and friends, but I do know that those actions were on your account and on mine. They knew I loved you. I have not in the least concealed13 the fact that I loved you, and I hoped, Sylvia, that you knew it."
She stood, her closed portfolio in one hand, her pen in the other, her eyes downcast, and her face grave and quiet. "I cannot say," she answered presently, "that I knew it, although sometimes I thought it was so, but other times I thought it was not so. I was almost sure of it when you took leave of me at the window, and tried to kiss my hand, and were just about to say something which I knew I ought not to stay and hear. It was when thinking about that morning, in fact,—and I thought about it a great deal,—that I became convinced I must act very promptly14 and earnestly in regard to my future life, and be true to the work I had undertaken to do; and for this reason it was that I solemnly vowed16 to devote the rest of my life to the House of Martha, to observe all its rules and do its work."
"Sylvia," I gasped17, "you cannot keep this vow15. When you made it you did not know I loved you. It cannot hold. It must be set aside."
She looked at me for a moment, and then her eyes again fell. "Do not speak in that way," she said; "it is not right. Of course I was not sure that you loved me, but I suspected it, and this was the very reason why I took my vow."
"It is plain, then," I exclaimed bitterly, "that you did not love me; otherwise you would never have done that!"
"Don't you think," said she, "that considering the sisterhood to which I belong, we have already talked too much about that?"
If she had exhibited the least emotion, I think I should have burst out into supplications that she would take the advice of her Mother Superior; that she would listen to her friends; that she would do anything, in fact, which would cause her to reconsider this step, which condemned18 me to misery19 and her to a life for which she was totally unfitted,—a career in her case of such sad misuse20 of every attribute of mind and body that it wrung21 my heart to think of it. But she stood so quiet, so determined22, and with an air of such gentle firmness that words seemed useless. In truth, they would not come to me. She opened her portfolio.
"I will give you these sheets that I have written," she said; "by right they belong to you. I am sorry the story was interrupted, for I very much want to hear the end of it, and now I never shall."
I caught at a straw. "Sylvia," I cried, "let us sit down and finish the story! We can surely do that. Come, it is all ready in my mind. I will dictate rapidly."
She shook her head. "Hardly," she answered, "after what has been said. Here are your pages."
I took the pages she handed me, because she had written them.
"Sylvia," I exclaimed, "I shall finish that story, and you shall hear it! This I vow."
"I am going now," she responded. "Good-by."
"Sylvia," I cried, quickly stepping after her as she moved away, "will you not say more than that? Will you not even give me your hand?"
"I will do that," she replied, stopping, "if you will promise not to kiss it."
I took her hand, and held it a few moments without a word. Then she gently withdrew it.
"Good-by again," she said, "I don't want you to forget me; but when you think of me, always think of me as a sister of the House of Martha."
As I stood looking after her, she rapidly walked toward the house, and I groaned23 while thinking I had not told her that if she ever thought of me she must remember I loved her, and would love her to the end of my life. But in a moment I was glad that I had not said this; after her words to me it would have been unmanly, and, besides, I knew she knew it.
When I lost sight of her in the grove24 by the house, I turned and picked up the pages of the story of Tomaso and Lucilla, which I had dropped. In doing so I saw her inkstand, with its open case near by it, on the ground by the stone on which she had been sitting. I put the inkstand in its case, closed it, and stood for some minutes holding it and thinking; but I did not carry it away with me as a memento25. Drawing down a branch of the tree, I hung the little case securely by its handles to a twig26, where it would be in full view of any one walking that way.
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1
dictate
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| v.口授；(使)听写；指令，指示，命令 | |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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portfolio
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| n.公事包；文件夹；大臣及部长职位 | |
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enchanting
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| a.讨人喜欢的 | |
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ridicules
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| n.嘲笑( ridicule的名词复数 )；奚落；嘲弄；戏弄v.嘲笑，嘲弄，奚落( ridicule的第三人称单数 ) | |
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bad-tempered
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| adj.脾气坏的 | |
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7
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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8
sneers
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| 讥笑的表情（言语）( sneer的名词复数 ) | |
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9
acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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10
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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11
steadfastly
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| adv.踏实地，不变地；岿然；坚定不渝 | |
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12
yearning
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| a.渴望的；向往的；怀念的 | |
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concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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promptly
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| adv.及时地，敏捷地 | |
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vow
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| n.誓(言)，誓约；v.起誓，立誓 | |
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16
vowed
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| 起誓，发誓（vow的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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gasped
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| v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
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18
condemned
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| adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词 | |
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19
misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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misuse
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| n.误用，滥用；vt.误用，滥用 | |
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21
wrung
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| 绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 )； 握紧（尤指别人的手）； 把（湿衣服）拧干； 绞掉（水） | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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groaned
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| v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
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24
grove
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| n.林子，小树林，园林 | |
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memento
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| n.纪念品，令人回忆的东西 | |
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twig
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| n.小树枝，嫩枝；v.理解 | |
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