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XLIX. MY OWN WAY.
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When I went home to my grandmother, she was greatly surprised to see me, and I lost no time in explaining my unexpected appearance.

"Really, really," she exclaimed, "I was just writing you a letter, which I intended to send after you, so that you would get it when you arrived in London; and in it I was going to tell you all about the breaking up of the House of Martha, of which I first heard half an hour after you left me. I was glad you had not known of it before you started, for I thought it would be so much better for all the changes to be made while you were away, and for Sylvia to be in her mother's house, where she could get rid of her nunnish1 habits, and have some proper clothes made up. Of course I knew you would come back soon, but I thought your own mind would be in much better order for a little absence."

"My dear grandmother," I cried, "in mind and body I am in perfect order, and it is presence, not absence, which made me so."

"Somehow or other," said she, smiling, "the fates seem to help you to have your own way, and I am sure I am delighted that you will stay at home. And what has become of Mr. Walkirk?"

"Upon my word!" I exclaimed—"I do not know."

Towards evening Walkirk returned, looking tired and out of spirits. I truly regretted the carelessness and neglect with which I had treated him, and explained and apologized to the best of my ability. He was a good-natured fellow, and behaved magnanimously.

"Things have turned out wonderfully well," he said, as he took a seat, "but I shall be more delighted with the state of affairs when I am a little less fatigued2. Minor3 annoyances4 ought not to be considered, but I assure you I have had a pretty rough time of it. As the hour for sailing drew near, and you did not make your appearance, I became more and more nervous and anxious. I would not allow our baggage to be put on board, for I knew a conference with a lady was likely to be of indefinite duration, and when at last the steamer sailed, I went immediately to Miss Laniston's house to inform you of the fact, and to find out what you proposed to do; but Miss Laniston was not at home, and the servant told me that a gentleman—undoubtedly you—had left the house nearly an hour before, and his great haste made her think that he was trying to catch a steamer.

"'People would not hurry like that,' she said, 'to catch a train, for there's always another one in an hour or two.'

"Then I began to fear that in your haste you had gone on board the wrong steamer—two others sailed to-day, a little later than ours, and I went to their piers6 and made all sorts of inquiries7, but I could find out nothing. Then I went to your club, to your lawyer's office, and several other places where I supposed you might go, but no one had seen or heard of you. Then a fear began to creep over me that you had had some greatly depressing news from Miss Laniston, and that you had made away with yourself."

"Walkirk!" I exclaimed, "how dared you think that?"

"Men in the nervous condition I was," he answered, "think all sorts of things, and that is one of the things I thought. Finally I went to Miss Laniston's house again, and this time I found her, and learned what had happened. Then I went to the pier5, ordered the trunk sent back here, for I knew there was no question now of the trip to Europe, and here I am."

It was easy to see that whatever pleasure the turn in my affairs may have given Walkirk, he was disappointed at losing his trip to Europe; but I thought it well not to reopen his wounds by any allusion8 to this fact, and contented9 myself by saying the most earnest and cordial things about what he had done and suffered for me that day, and inwardly determining that I would make full amends10 to him for his lost journey.

In about ten days I received a message by cable from Liverpool, which was sent by my stenographer11, informing me that he had gone aboard the steamer, as per agreement, and being busy writing letters to send back by the pilot, had not discovered that Walkirk and I were not on board until it was too late. The message was a long one, and its cost, as well as that of the one by which I informed the stenographer that he might come home, and the price of the man's passage to Liverpool and back, besides the sum I was obliged to pay him for his lost time, might all have been saved to me, had the fellow been thoughtful enough to make himself sure that we were on board before he allowed himself to be carried off. But little rubs of this kind were of slight moment to me at that time.

On the day after things had been taken for granted between Sylvia and myself, I saw her at her mother's house, and I must admit that although it had given me such exquisite12 pleasure to feel that she was mine in the coarse gray gown of a "sister," it delighted me more to feel she was mine in the ordinary costume of society. She was as gay as a butterfly ought to be which had just cast off its gray wrappings and spread its wings to the coloring light.

I found Mrs. Raynor in a somewhat perturbed13 state of mind.

"I cannot accommodate myself," she said, "to these sudden and violent mutations. I like to sit on the sands and stay there as long as I please, and to feel that I know how high each breaker will be, and how far the tide will come in, but these tidal waves which make beach of sea and sea of beach sweep me away utterly14; I cannot comprehend where I am. A week ago I considered you as an enemy with active designs on the peace of my daughter. I was about to write you a letter to demand that you should cease from troubling her. But I heard you were going to Europe, and then I felt that henceforth our paths would be smoother, for I believed that absence would cure you of your absurd and objectless infatuation; but suddenly, down goes the House of Martha, and up comes the enemy, transformed into a suitor, who is loved by Sylvia, and against whom I can have no possible objection. Now can not you see for yourself how this sort of thing must affect a mind accustomed to a certain uniformity of emotion?"

"Madam," said I, "it will be the object of my life to make you so happy in our happiness that you shall remember this recent tumult15 of events as something more gratifying to look back upon than your most cherished memories of tranquil16 delight."

"You seem to have a high opinion of your abilities," she said, smiling, "and of the value of what you offer me. I am perfectly17 willing that you try what you can do; nevertheless I wish you had gone to Europe. Everything would have turned out just the same, and the affair would have been more seemly."

"Oh, we can easily make that all right," said I. "Sylvia and I will go to Europe on our bridal trip."

As I finished these words Sylvia came into the room, accompanied by Miss Laniston.

"Here is a gentleman," said my dear girl to her companion, "who has declared his desire to thank you for something you have done for him, and he has spoken so strongly about the way in which he intended to pour out his gratitude18, that I want to see how he does it."

"Mr. Vanderley," said Miss Laniston, "I forbid you to utter one word of that outpouring, which you would have poured out yesterday morning, had it not been so urgently necessary to catch a train. When I am ready for the effusion referred to, I will fix a time for it and let you know the day before, and I will take care that no one shall be present at it but ourselves."

"Any way," said Sylvia, "he will tell me all about it."

"If he does," said Miss Laniston, "you will re-enter a convent."

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1 nunnish 8f50c0893becec0f327e900d5c0185ba     
adj.芬兰的n.芬兰人,芬兰语
参考例句:
  • Finnish and Swedish are the official languages. 芬兰语和瑞典语均为官方语言。 来自辞典例句
  • The Russo-Finnish war made the problem of Norway acute. 苏芬战争使挪威问题尖锐化。 来自辞典例句
2 fatigued fatigued     
adj. 疲乏的
参考例句:
  • The exercises fatigued her. 操练使她感到很疲乏。
  • The President smiled, with fatigued tolerance for a minor person's naivety. 总统笑了笑,疲惫地表现出对一个下级人员的天真想法的宽容。
3 minor e7fzR     
adj.较小(少)的,较次要的;n.辅修学科;vi.辅修
参考例句:
  • The young actor was given a minor part in the new play.年轻的男演员在这出新戏里被分派担任一个小角色。
  • I gave him a minor share of my wealth.我把小部分财产给了他。
4 annoyances 825318190e0ef2fdbbf087738a8eb7f6     
n.恼怒( annoyance的名词复数 );烦恼;打扰;使人烦恼的事
参考例句:
  • At dinner that evening two annoyances kept General Zaroff from perfect enjoyment one. 当天晚上吃饭时,有两件不称心的事令沙洛夫吃得不很香。 来自辞典例句
  • Actually, I have a lot of these little annoyances-don't we all? 事实上我有很多类似的小烦恼,我们不都有这种小烦恼吗? 来自互联网
5 pier U22zk     
n.码头;桥墩,桥柱;[建]窗间壁,支柱
参考例句:
  • The pier of the bridge has been so badly damaged that experts worry it is unable to bear weight.这座桥的桥桩破损厉害,专家担心它已不能负重。
  • The ship was making towards the pier.船正驶向码头。
6 piers 97df53049c0dee20e54484371e5e225c     
n.水上平台( pier的名词复数 );(常设有娱乐场所的)突堤;柱子;墙墩
参考例句:
  • Most road bridges have piers rising out of the vally. 很多公路桥的桥墩是从河谷里建造起来的。 来自辞典例句
  • At these piers coasters and landing-craft would be able to discharge at all states of tide. 沿岸航行的海船和登陆艇,不论潮汐如何涨落,都能在这种码头上卸载。 来自辞典例句
7 inquiries 86a54c7f2b27c02acf9fcb16a31c4b57     
n.调查( inquiry的名词复数 );疑问;探究;打听
参考例句:
  • He was released on bail pending further inquiries. 他获得保释,等候进一步调查。
  • I have failed to reach them by postal inquiries. 我未能通过邮政查询与他们取得联系。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
8 allusion CfnyW     
n.暗示,间接提示
参考例句:
  • He made an allusion to a secret plan in his speech.在讲话中他暗示有一项秘密计划。
  • She made no allusion to the incident.她没有提及那个事件。
9 contented Gvxzof     
adj.满意的,安心的,知足的
参考例句:
  • He won't be contented until he's upset everyone in the office.不把办公室里的每个人弄得心烦意乱他就不会满足。
  • The people are making a good living and are contented,each in his station.人民安居乐业。
10 amends AzlzCR     
n. 赔偿
参考例句:
  • He made amends for his rudeness by giving her some flowers. 他送给她一些花,为他自己的鲁莽赔罪。
  • This country refuses stubbornly to make amends for its past war crimes. 该国顽固地拒绝为其过去的战争罪行赔罪。
11 stenographer fu3w0     
n.速记员
参考例句:
  • The police stenographer recorded the man's confession word by word. 警察局速记员逐字记下了那个人的供词。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • A qualified stenographer is not necessarily a competent secretary. 一个合格的速记员不一定就是个称职的秘书。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
12 exquisite zhez1     
adj.精美的;敏锐的;剧烈的,感觉强烈的
参考例句:
  • I was admiring the exquisite workmanship in the mosaic.我当时正在欣赏镶嵌画的精致做工。
  • I still remember the exquisite pleasure I experienced in Bali.我依然记得在巴厘岛所经历的那种剧烈的快感。
13 perturbed 7lnzsL     
adj.烦燥不安的v.使(某人)烦恼,不安( perturb的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • I am deeply perturbed by the alarming way the situation developing. 我对形势令人忧虑的发展深感不安。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Mother was much perturbed by my illness. 母亲为我的病甚感烦恼不安。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
14 utterly ZfpzM1     
adv.完全地,绝对地
参考例句:
  • Utterly devoted to the people,he gave his life in saving his patients.他忠于人民,把毕生精力用于挽救患者的生命。
  • I was utterly ravished by the way she smiled.她的微笑使我完全陶醉了。
15 tumult LKrzm     
n.喧哗;激动,混乱;吵闹
参考例句:
  • The tumult in the streets awakened everyone in the house.街上的喧哗吵醒了屋子里的每一个人。
  • His voice disappeared under growing tumult.他的声音消失在越来越响的喧哗声中。
16 tranquil UJGz0     
adj. 安静的, 宁静的, 稳定的, 不变的
参考例句:
  • The boy disturbed the tranquil surface of the pond with a stick. 那男孩用棍子打破了平静的池面。
  • The tranquil beauty of the village scenery is unique. 这乡村景色的宁静是绝无仅有的。
17 perfectly 8Mzxb     
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地
参考例句:
  • The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
  • Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。
18 gratitude p6wyS     
adj.感激,感谢
参考例句:
  • I have expressed the depth of my gratitude to him.我向他表示了深切的谢意。
  • She could not help her tears of gratitude rolling down her face.她感激的泪珠禁不住沿着面颊流了下来。


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