Try what he would, all seemed against him—father, friends, even the object of his choice herself; and he needed no one to tell him that the greatest care was taken to prevent all interviews. That Laura had a great deal to do with it he was sure, with out Nelly’s confirmatory words. Max too might have some influence; but it was in vain that he thought—matters would only look more and more rugged5 on ahead; and at length, longing6, in spite of his dislike to the meeting, for the evening to come, he cantered away.
“I only wish I were clever,” he muttered. “Some men would scheme a score of plans; but as for me, I understand horses and dogs, and that is about—”
Charley’s thoughts were directed the next moment into another channel; for turning a corner sharply, he came upon a family party from the Elms, consisting of Laura Bray7 and her two youngest sisters, with Max angrily stamping, clenched8 of fist and with his face distorted with rage.
“It’s all a confounded plot of yours, Laury—it is, bai Jove!” he screamed in an excited voice, the very counterpart of his mother’s.
“Indeed, indeed, Max, you wrong me,” she cried. “It was not—Hush! here’s Charley Vining.”
“How do, Miss Bray?” he said, reining9 in, and trying to be cordial.—“Ah, Max, I thought you were in town.—Well, little ones, how are you off for fruit?”
“Nelly’s going to have lots to-night,” said Do, the youngest “child;” and the blood flushed up in Charley’s face as he thought of the note he had received,—for he was as transparent10 as a girl.
“Bai Jove! ya-a-s,” said Max. “Been in town, but thought I’d run down again for a bit.”
“What for?” said Charley Vining’s jealous heart, as he recalled the excited way in which Max had been gesticulating before his sister.
Max looked half disposed to be sulky; but he caught a meaning glance from Laura, when, feeling that he could not afford to fall off from his part of the compact he had made with her, he commenced talking to his youngest sister, just as Charley’s eyes flashed, his nostrils11 distended12, and, evidently moved by some strong emotion, he leaped from his horse, gazing eagerly the while at Max’s watch-chain, and then at Max himself, with a fierce questioning look; which the exquisite13 responded to with a quiet self-satisfied smirk14, ran his fingers along the chain, played with the locket and other ornaments15 to it attached, and then, with a side glance of insolent16 triumph, he thrust the little finger of his kid glove into a ring which hung there, turned it about a few times, and then walked on with the girls.
Charley Vining’s heart felt as if something were making it contract, as if he were seized by some fearful spasm17; for that ring—he would swear it—that ring had once encircled Ella Bedford’s finger, and had lain in his palm. He had noticed it particularly, as he had longed to press his lips to the hand it graced—no, that graced the little bauble18. What did it mean, then?—what was Nelly’s news that she had to communicate? He could have groaned19 aloud as his heart whispered that he was—not supplanted—but that that empty-headed conceited20 dandy had been able to carry off the prize he had so earnestly sought—that heartless boasting fop, who esteemed21 a woman’s purest best feelings as deeply as he did the quality of his last box of cigars. It was plain enough the ring was a gift, and had been replaced by another.
“I am a fool—a romantic boy!” thought Charley to himself; “and there is no such thing as genuine passion and feeling in this world; at least, I am not discriminating22 enough to know it. Here have I been grasping at the shadow when I could have possessed23 the substance. But, O!” he mentally groaned, “how sweet was that shadow, and how bitter is the substance!”
“Have I offended you, Charley?” said a deep soft voice at his ear—a voice trembling with emotion; and starting back to the present, the muser saw that Max had walked on some yards in advance with the girls, and that, with his horse’s bridle24 over his arm, he was standing25 by Laura, whose hand was half raised, as if ready to be laid upon his arm, while her great dark eyes, swimming with tenderness, were gazing appealingly in his.
There was something new in Laura’s manner, something he had not seen before. She was quiet, subdued26, and timid; there was a tremulousness in her voice; and with the feelings that agitated27 him then swaying him from side to side, it was with a strange sense of trouble that he turned to her, half flinching28 as he did so.
“Have I hurt your feelings in some way?” she said, for he did not reply, and her voice was lower and deeper. “You seem so changed, so different, and it grieves me more than you can think.”
It was very dangerous. There had been a sudden discovery coming directly upon Nelly’s announcement that she had something grievous to impart. He had evidently been looked upon as a rude uncultivated boor29, and this London exquisite had been preferred before him. In his poor country ignorance, he had been looking upon Ella Bedford’s words as the utterances30 of a saint, gazing at her every act through a couleur de rose medium, till now, when he was rudely awakened from his simple love-dream; while, as if offering balm for the wound, here was a passionate31 loving woman talking, nay32, breathing to him in whispers her tender reproaches for what she evidently looked upon as his neglect.
What could he do? He felt that his faith to one he loved would be firm as a rock; but he owed no allegiance—he had been played with—and this woman to whom he had breathed his love had preferred gloss33 and polish to his simple homely34 ways.
It was thus that Charley Vining reasoned with himself, as slightly raising his arm he, as it were, made the first step towards a future of trouble; for the next instant Laura’s hand was laid gently upon that arm, and they were sauntering slowly along. She, trembling and excited; he, swayed by varied35 emotions—disappointment, rage, bitterness, and added to all, the knowledge that he had left that gentle loving old man heart-broken at his persistence36 in what he now owned to himself had been a wild insane passion.
“You do not speak—you say nothing to me,” said Laura softly, as she turned slightly, so as to look in his face. “I must in some way have unwittingly caused you annoyance37. But there, Charley, I will not dissemble; I know why you are angry, and I must speak. You will think lightly of me—you will even sneer,” she said, and he could see that the tears were running down her cheeks, and that her breast heaved painfully; “but I cannot help it; I must speak now that for once there is an opportunity. You are vexed38 with me because I was so madly angry with you for flirting39. But you would not be, Charley, if you knew all. I don’t think you would willingly hurt any one; but thoughtless acts sometimes give great pain.”
Charley did not reply, but his arm trembled as they walked on, Laura’s passionate words being very truthful40, as by a bold stroke she tried to recover the ground she told herself that she had lost.
“See how humble41 I am. I never, that I can remember, asked pardon before of any one, but I do of you; and I feel humbled42 and abased43 as I think, for I know it is enough to make you mock at me. But though you refuse to know my heart, I know yours well, and that it is too much that of a gentleman for you ever to make me repent44 of what I say.”
Still Charley was silent, though Laura paused to hear him speak. This interview had been unexpected, and had come upon her by surprise; but, led away by her feelings, words in torrents45 were pressing upon one another ready to pour forth46, and she had to struggle hard to keep those words within due bounds, lest in her agitation47 she should make a broader avowal48 than that already uttered, and cause him to turn from her in disgust.
“Have I so deeply offended you? Can you not pardon me? Is mine such a sin against you, Charley, that I am always to suffer—suffer more deeply than you can believe?”
“I am not offended,” he said gently. “Indeed, you mistake me.”
“Charley!” she exclaimed in a burst of passionate emotion; for the soft, gently-spoken words seemed to sweep away the barrier that she should have more sternly supported—“I cannot help it; I am half heart-broken. You have been cruel to me; you have maddened me into saying things, and treating you in my rage in a way that has torn my own breast. But you will forgive me—you will be to me as you were a few months back—and, above all, promise me this, that you will not think lightly of me for this. Indeed, indeed, I cannot, cannot help it; I—I—”
Laura’s voice was choked by her passionate sobs49; and trembling himself with emotion, mingled50 of sorrow, pity, and an undefined sense of tenderness evoked51 by what he had heard, Charley Vining was moved to say a few words perhaps more warmly than under other circumstances he might have done. He did not love Laura Bray—he almost disliked her; but if there was any vanity in his composition, it was sure to be stirred now, when a young and ardent52 woman was, in the most unmistakable terms, telling him of her love, and imploring53 his forgiveness for her past resentment54.
Charley Vining was but human. His heart had been deeply torn; and in spite of himself his voice softened55, and he was about to say words that might have been too sympathising in their nature, when Laura’s eyes flashed with bitterness and mortification56. Had she possessed the power, she would have turned her to stone where she stood; for, with a laugh half merry, half sad, Nelly came running up, and pressing herself between him and the horse, she caught hold of Charley’s other arm.
Charley gave a sigh of relief, as rousing himself, he exclaimed, “ah, Nelly!”
“I didn’t mean to go for a walk,” said Nelly; “but thought I’d come and meet them; and I can’t walk with Milly and Do, because of old Max; so I’ve come here.”
They say that two are company, three none: and if ever those words were true, they were so here. But, in spite of her mortification, and the agitation brought on by her imprudent avowal, Laura’s heart bounded; for she read, or thought she read, on parting, what she called her pardon in Charley Vining’s eyes.
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1
pettish
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| adj.易怒的，使性子的 | |
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2
whim
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| n.一时的兴致，突然的念头；奇想，幻想 | |
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awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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4
thwarted
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| 阻挠( thwart的过去式和过去分词 )； 使受挫折； 挫败； 横过 | |
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5
rugged
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| adj.高低不平的，粗糙的，粗壮的，强健的 | |
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longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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bray
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| n.驴叫声, 喇叭声；v.驴叫 | |
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clenched
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| v.紧握，抓紧，咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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9
reining
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| 勒缰绳使（马）停步( rein的现在分词 )； 驾驭； 严格控制； 加强管理 | |
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10
transparent
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| adj.明显的，无疑的；透明的 | |
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nostrils
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| 鼻孔( nostril的名词复数 ) | |
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12
distended
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| v.（使）膨胀，肿胀( distend的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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13
exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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14
smirk
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| n.得意地笑；v.傻笑；假笑着说 | |
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15
ornaments
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| n.装饰( ornament的名词复数 )；点缀；装饰品；首饰v.装饰，点缀，美化( ornament的第三人称单数 ) | |
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16
insolent
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| adj.傲慢的，无理的 | |
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17
spasm
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| n.痉挛，抽搐；一阵发作 | |
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18
bauble
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| n.美观而无价值的饰物 | |
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19
groaned
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| v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
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20
conceited
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| adj.自负的，骄傲自满的 | |
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21
esteemed
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| adj.受人尊敬的v.尊敬( esteem的过去式和过去分词 )；敬重；认为；以为 | |
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discriminating
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| a.有辨别能力的 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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24
bridle
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| n.笼头，束缚；vt.抑制，约束；动怒 | |
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25
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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26
subdued
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| adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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27
agitated
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| adj.被鼓动的，不安的 | |
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28
flinching
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| v.（因危险和痛苦）退缩，畏惧( flinch的现在分词 ) | |
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29
boor
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| n.举止粗野的人；乡下佬 | |
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30
utterances
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| n.发声( utterance的名词复数 )；说话方式；语调；言论 | |
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31
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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32
nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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33
gloss
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| n.光泽，光滑；虚饰；注释；vt.加光泽于；掩饰 | |
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34
homely
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| adj.家常的，简朴的；不漂亮的 | |
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35
varied
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| adj.多样的，多变化的 | |
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36
persistence
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| n.坚持，持续，存留 | |
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37
annoyance
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| n.恼怒，生气，烦恼 | |
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38
vexed
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| adj.争论不休的；（指问题等）棘手的；争论不休的问题；烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 )；使苦恼；使生气；详细讨论 | |
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39
flirting
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| v.调情，打情骂俏( flirt的现在分词 ) | |
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40
truthful
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| adj.真实的，说实话的，诚实的 | |
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41
humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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42
humbled
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| adj. 卑下的，谦逊的，粗陋的 vt. 使 ... 卑下，贬低 | |
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43
abased
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| 使谦卑( abase的过去式和过去分词 )； 使感到羞耻； 使降低（地位、身份等）； 降下 | |
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44
repent
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| v.悔悟，悔改，忏悔，后悔 | |
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45
torrents
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| n.倾注；奔流( torrent的名词复数 )；急流；爆发；连续不断 | |
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46
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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47
agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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48
avowal
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| n.公开宣称，坦白承认 | |
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49
sobs
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| 啜泣（声），呜咽（声）( sob的名词复数 ) | |
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50
mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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51
evoked
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| [医]诱发的 | |
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52
ardent
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，强烈的，烈性的 | |
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53
imploring
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| 恳求的，哀求的 | |
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54
resentment
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| n.怨愤，忿恨 | |
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55
softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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56
mortification
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| n.耻辱，屈辱 | |
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