Fifteen minutes after peace had been declared McClintock and Jimmy, both thoroughly1 soaked and decidedly uncomfortable, foregathered in the latter’s office for a comparison of notes and a general consultation2.
“That’d make a pippin’ of a story if you’d dare to let it get out,” ventured the press agent as he wrung3 out the corner of his saturated4 coat into a waste-basket.
“Well, I don’t take the dare,” returned the manager peevishly5. “That’s one story that the censor6 isn’t going to let get through if he can stop it.”
“What’s the harm?” inquired Jimmy innocently.
McClintock looked him over carefully before replying.
“What’s the idea?” he remarked scornfully. “Is your reason tottering7 on its throne? Don’t you know that if this thing got out it’d scare away the family parties that are the backbone8 of our patronage9? You couldn’t induce women to come within half a mile of the park if they heard about this rumpus. They’d think it might happen again any minute and they’d remain away in a body—and they’d keep father and the boys away too. Get that straight.”
“There’s something in it, I guess,” opined Jimmy slowly.
“You put your money three ways on that. You’ve got a new job tonight, mister man. You’ve got to forget about putting things in the papers. It’s up to you to keep something out for a change.”
“Maybe somebody’ll blab the whole thing.”
“I’ve issued orders to have everyone instructed to give an imitation of a tongue-tied clam10, but so dog-goned many people were in on this that it’s pretty certain there’ll be a leak somewhere. That’s where you come in.”
“What can I do?” inquired the press agent ruefully. He was plainly displeased11 with the vista12 opened up by his superior.
“You can do every little thing there is to do,” returned McClintock firmly. “I want you to make a personal matter of this. I want you to drop into town and make the rounds of all the morning papers. I want you to see every city editor and make a special plea to have the thing hushed up. Tell ’em it’ll ruin us for the summer if it gets out. Make it strong. It’s going to be the acid test of how useful you really are around here. String ’em along. Let ’em understand that you won’t take ‘no’ for an answer. I’m going to dust over home in my car for a clean-up and a long, dreamy nap. Goodnight.”
Jimmy started to expostulate, but he stopped short when the office door slammed in his face. He stood irresolutely13 as the chug-chug of McClintock’s machine died away in the distance. Then he dropped into a chair, reached for a pack of cigarettes on the table, lit one and indulged himself in painful cogitation15. Under ordinary circumstances he would have experienced profound physical discomfort16 from his water-soaked clothes and the general feeling of stickiness that enveloped17 him from head to feet, but physical feelings were matters of slight importance to him at the moment. The distress18 which was registered upon his face was purely19 mental in its origin, but it was intense and singularly disturbing. He felt that he was up against the hardest job of his life and he could see no way to hurdle20 what seemed to be the insurmountable barriers that confronted him.
In the language of journalism21 Jimmy “knew news.” He knew precisely22 what sort of an incident or happening or bit of romancing, for that matter, would appeal to the trained newspaper executive as worth playing up and precisely the sort of stuff that would be passed up. By all the tests he was familiar with, by all the general rules and regulations of the game, the story of the jamboree of the savage23 gentlemen from the far-flung isles24 of the Pacific, of their attempt to raid the park, of the battle between them and the guards and of their final defeat was one of the biggest bits of “feature news” that had transpired25 in or about New York that summer.
If it had “leaked” into any newspaper office he knew there was about as much chance of his keeping it out of print by making a personal plea, as there would be of suppressing the announcement of the engagement of a daughter of the president of the United States to the Prince of Wales. If it hadn’t “leaked”—and there was a fair chance that it hadn’t—because of the state of the weather—he was painfully aware of the fact that by calling on the city editors in person and asking them not to use it he would simply be handing them a tip on which they would base an investigation27. The story was decidedly too good to be hushed up by any plaintive28 wail29 about “ruining our business.”
He would have mentioned all of these things to McClintock if the latter hadn’t made such an abrupt30 departure. He told himself now that even if he had been able to voice them the manager wouldn’t have comprehended the impossible nature of the task he had so casually31 mapped out. Folks who haven’t smelt32 the smell of the paste-pot and heard the presses roar usually have the weirdest33 sort of naive34 notions concerning just what and just what cannot be done in the way of either inserting news in the columns of a great metropolitan35 daily or keeping it out.
“The acid test”—Jimmy kept remembering these three words and the oftener they recurred36 to him the more distressed37 he became. He sat hunched38 up in his chair looking out into the pouring rain and consuming cigarettes at a most alarming rate. At about the middle of the sixth cigarette he straightened up; at the beginning of the seventh he arose and began to pace the floor while a new idea slowly unfolded in his active mind; when he was two puffs39 into the eighth he flung it into a corner with a resolute14 sweep of his arm, dived for the telephone, called up “Beekman 4,000,” and impatiently joggled the hook until a response came.
“Hello, World?” he said jerkily, “give me the city desk ... hello ... city desk?... Who is that? McCarthy?... Say, Mr. McCarthy, this is Martin of Jollyland—Martin—M-A-R-T-I-N—publicity director of Jollyland—raining here? You betcha—say, I’ve got something pretty good for you ... hot stuff.... Be on the lookout40 for it, will you?—Dope?—No, sir, this is the real goods. No fooling—on the level—you can expect it before midnight. Good-bye.”
In the next ten minutes Jimmy, in a frenzy41 of feverish42 haste, called up the city desks of all the other morning papers and repeated practically the same message to each. Then he ordered three messenger boys to report to him in half an hour, stuck six sheets of carbon between seven long sheets of copy paper, inserted the numerous layers in his typewriter and began to pound out, with ever increasing speed, a narrative43 that was to either make or break him.
It was nearly midnight when an office boy dropped a long manila envelope marked “NEWS—RUSH” on the desk in front of Larry McCarthy, night city editor of the World. The early mail edition had gone to press ten minutes before and McCarthy had just come up for air for a brief interval44 before plunging45 into the final activities of the night. The tension had relaxed and he was joking with the managing editor who had stopped to give a few parting instructions on his way home.
McCarthy tore the envelope open almost unconsciously as he went on talking and unfolded the four long sheets of paper which it contained, sheets covered with closely written typewritten matter. His gaze drifted carelessly to the top page where it lingered as something seemed immediately to interest him. A cynical46 smile began to play over his features as he read. Presently it broadened into something more mellow47 and human. Then he burst into hearty48 laughter.
“Shades of Tody Hamilton,” he chortled. “Here’s the last word in hysterical49 romance. This fellow makes ’em all look like pikers. He called me up on the phone to tell it was hot stuff. Well, it certainly is. It certainly is.”
“What is it?” questioned the managing editor.
“It’s a pipe dream by a bright young gentleman who seems to be trying to make a living by getting pieces in the paper for Jollyland. He must come from some place in the tall, tall grass if he labors50 under the delusion51 that he can put anything as raw as this over on a New York paper. I’ll give him credit, though. It’s a masterpiece of its kind. If someone ever starts a press agent’s school this could be used verbatim as a horrible example of the kind of a contribution not to send out.
Just listen to this heading:
“Isn’t that immense?” went on McCarthy. “Can you tie the colossal52 nerve of that fellow sending a thing like that out? Get his opening paragraph:
“‘Maddened with a thirst for human blood and believed to be acting53 under instructions from a Bolshevik agitator54 who was seen prowling about in the early evening 186 naked savages55 from the South Sea Islands made a desperate attempt last night to massacre56 all the whites in Jollyland, the gigantic summer park on Coney Island. Giving utterance57 to blood-curdling cries of vengeance58 and undaunted by the driving rain which was falling at the time they made an attempt to break out of the village, where they give daily exhibitions of their quaint59 and curious native customs, and were held in check by the park attendants only after a wild and furious struggle lasting60 for nearly half an hour!...’”
The managing editor laughed uproariously.
“The poor old Bolsheviki,” he chuckled61. “Even the press agents are using ’em. That story’s certainly a gem26 of purest ray serene62. I’d like to meet that young fellow. He’d make an interesting study.”
The telephone bell on McCarthy’s desk rang just then and the city editor reached for the receiver.
“Hello,” he shouted. “Yes—McCarthy—yes, I got one, too—it’s a bird—we’ve just had the best laugh of the month over it—most sublime63 imagination uncovered since Dante—you bet!”
“That’s Carlton of the Gazette—night desk man,” he said as he hung up. “He’s got a great sense of humor. Wanted to know if I’d had this and offered to send me his copy if I’d been forgotten.”
He crumpled64 Jimmy’s composition up in a ball and tossed it in the big waste-basket at his side as a boy slipped him a first copy of the mail edition wet from the press.
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1
thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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2
consultation
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| n.咨询；商量；商议；会议 | |
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3
wrung
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| 绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 )； 握紧（尤指别人的手）； 把（湿衣服）拧干； 绞掉（水） | |
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4
saturated
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| a.饱和的，充满的 | |
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5
peevishly
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| adv．暴躁地 | |
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6
censor
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| n./vt.审查，审查员；删改 | |
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7
tottering
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| adj.蹒跚的，动摇的v.走得或动得不稳( totter的现在分词 )；踉跄；蹒跚；摇摇欲坠 | |
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8
backbone
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| n.脊骨，脊柱，骨干；刚毅，骨气 | |
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patronage
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| n.赞助，支援，援助；光顾，捧场 | |
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10
clam
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| n.蛤，蛤肉 | |
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11
displeased
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| a.不快的 | |
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vista
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| n.远景，深景，展望，回想 | |
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13
irresolutely
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| adv.优柔寡断地 | |
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14
resolute
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| adj.坚决的，果敢的 | |
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15
cogitation
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| n.仔细思考，计划，设计 | |
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16
discomfort
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| n.不舒服，不安，难过，困难，不方便 | |
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17
enveloped
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| v.包围，笼罩，包住( envelop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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18
distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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19
purely
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| adv.纯粹地，完全地 | |
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hurdle
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| n.跳栏，栏架；障碍，困难；vi.进行跨栏赛 | |
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21
journalism
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| n.新闻工作，报业 | |
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22
precisely
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| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
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savage
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| adj.野蛮的；凶恶的，残暴的；n.未开化的人 | |
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24
isles
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| 岛( isle的名词复数 ) | |
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25
transpired
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| （事实，秘密等）被人知道( transpire的过去式和过去分词 )； 泄露； 显露； 发生 | |
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26
gem
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| n.宝石，珠宝；受爱戴的人 [同]jewel | |
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27
investigation
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| n.调查，调查研究 | |
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28
plaintive
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| adj.可怜的，伤心的 | |
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29
wail
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| vt./vi.大声哀号，恸哭；呼啸，尖啸 | |
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abrupt
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| adj.突然的，意外的；唐突的，鲁莽的 | |
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casually
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| adv.漠不关心地，无动于衷地，不负责任地 | |
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32
smelt
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| v.熔解，熔炼；n.银白鱼，胡瓜鱼 | |
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33
weirdest
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| 怪诞的( weird的最高级 )； 神秘而可怕的； 超然的； 古怪的 | |
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34
naive
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| adj.幼稚的，轻信的；天真的 | |
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35
metropolitan
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| adj.大城市的，大都会的 | |
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36
recurred
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| 再发生，复发( recur的过去式和过去分词 )； 治愈 | |
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distressed
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| 痛苦的 | |
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hunched
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| （常指因寒冷、生病或愁苦）耸肩弓身的，伏首前倾的 | |
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39
puffs
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| n.吸( puff的名词复数 )；（烟斗或香烟的）一吸；一缕（烟、蒸汽等）；（呼吸或风的）呼v.使喷出( puff的第三人称单数 )；喷着汽（或烟）移动；吹嘘；吹捧 | |
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40
lookout
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| n.注意，前途，瞭望台 | |
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41
frenzy
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| n.疯狂，狂热，极度的激动 | |
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42
feverish
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| adj.发烧的，狂热的，兴奋的 | |
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43
narrative
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| n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的 | |
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44
interval
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| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
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45
plunging
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| adj.跳进的，突进的v.颠簸( plunge的现在分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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46
cynical
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| adj.(对人性或动机)怀疑的，不信世道向善的 | |
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47
mellow
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| adj.柔和的；熟透的；v.变柔和；(使)成熟 | |
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48
hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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49
hysterical
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| adj.情绪异常激动的，歇斯底里般的 | |
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50
labors
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| v.努力争取(for)( labor的第三人称单数 )；苦干；详细分析；（指引擎）缓慢而困难地运转 | |
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51
delusion
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| n.谬见，欺骗，幻觉，迷惑 | |
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52
colossal
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| adj.异常的，庞大的 | |
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53
acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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54
agitator
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| n.鼓动者；搅拌器 | |
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55
savages
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| 未开化的人，野蛮人( savage的名词复数 ) | |
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56
massacre
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| n.残杀，大屠杀；v.残杀，集体屠杀 | |
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57
utterance
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| n.用言语表达，话语，言语 | |
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58
vengeance
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| n.报复，报仇，复仇 | |
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59
quaint
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| adj.古雅的，离奇有趣的，奇怪的 | |
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60
lasting
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| adj.永久的，永恒的；vbl.持续，维持 | |
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61
chuckled
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| 轻声地笑( chuckle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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62
serene
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| adj. 安详的，宁静的，平静的 | |
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63
sublime
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| adj.崇高的，伟大的；极度的，不顾后果的 | |
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64
crumpled
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| adj. 弯扭的, 变皱的 动词crumple的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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