“I can’t resist the temptation,” Bartlett wrote, “to look in on one of your seances and catch His Royal Highness and yourself in action. I must congratulate you on the success which you have achieved in putting this stunt4 over on the natives and I have instructed the office to give you a twenty-five per cent increase in salary.”
Mr. Denby laid the letter down and decided5 that, after all, theatrical6 managers had their proper place in the scheme of existence. Up to that moment he had always been inclined to consider them as useless encumberers of the earth.
He picked up the morning paper which lay at his elbow, adjusted his glasses and turned to the front page. He glanced cursorily7 at a story in the left-hand column dealing8 with the newest series of what are technically9 known in newspaper circles as “Red Raids;” let his attention wander to an account of the launching of a new presidential boom and then took a look at the right hand corner. What he saw emblazoned there caused him to almost drop the cup which he had just daintily raised to his lips and provoked an audible spluttering that sent the head-waiter hurrying in his direction from the other side of the room.
“Anything wrong, sir?” deferentially10 inquired the chief servitor, noting with apprehension11 the startled mien12 of the eminent13 lecturer.
Mr. Denby tried to compose himself.
“Nothing important,” he managed to reply. “Just some unwelcome tidings from home. I’ll be all right in a moment or two.”
When the head-waiter had bowed himself away Mr. Denby turned to a perusal14 of the paper. The words which struck his eyes seemed to spell to him the collapse15 of all things temporal.
The harrowing details which followed were dressed up in such sarcastic16 verbiage17 that Mr. Denby’s soul went sick and his appetite for breakfast vanished. He paid his check and sought the seclusion18 of his room. He wished to hide his face from the public gaze and apply poultices to his wounded dignity.
Jimmy Martin, coming up unannounced, found him a half hour later gazing pensively19 out of the window—a picture of incarnate20 misery21. Jimmy wasn’t in a particularly jaunty22 mood himself, but he assumed his best “cheery-oh” manner when he caught a glimpse of his associate’s face.
“What’s the matter, little song-bird?” he inquired breezily. “You look about as lonely as a bartender.”
Mr. Denby turned a pair of ineffably23 sad eyes on the press agent and sighed mournfully.
“I’m disgraced, Mr. Martin,” he said feebly, “irretrievably disgraced. I should never have gone into this masquerade—never. My saner24 judgment25 should have prevailed. I shall never recover from this. I’m the most miserable26 man in Chicago this morning—the most utterly27 miserable.”
“You’ve got another think coming, old popsy-wop,” replied Jimmy. “I’ve just seen his royal highness. You’re a care-free babe in arms compared to that bird. He’s passin’ on to New York on the twelve forty.”
“What I can’t understand,” said Mr. Denby, “is how the story got out. Have you any idea?”
“Yes, I have,” replied the press agent, slowly. “As a matter of fact I gave it out myself.”
“You gave it out yourself,” stammered28 the bewildered Mr. Denby. “I—I don’t understand. Why did you do such a thing as that?”
“Well, the low-down of it is that I had to. I was out to that Easton dame’s house yesterday afternoon with his royal jiblets and when I saw the way the poor nut was makin’ a fool out of herself over that little brown brother it just made me sick. He’d been milkin’ her for thousands and I could see he was layin’ lines to wish himself into an easy life at her expense. She’s a good-natured old gal29, too, but she’d fallen for him so hard that she’d have believed him if he told her he was that Buddha30 party come back to earth for a little holiday.
“She told me about some fairy tale or other he’d pulled—something about a row with his father and how his allowance had been stopped and so forth3 and so on and when I took one last look at her at the front door and thought of that baby lollin’ around on sofas and lettin’ her wait on him and callin’ her a lot of flossy names so’s to keep his stock up I didn’t have the heart to let her go through with the marriage thing, story or no story. Somethin’ sort of caught hold of me and wouldn’t let me go on. I wonder what it was?”
“Some philosophers call it the categorical imperative,” replied Mr. Denby, thoughtfully.
“They do, eh? Well, maybe that’s a good name for it, but I’ve got a kind of a hunch31 that it was the little old Golden Rule that made me ashamed of myself. I thought the best of cramp32 Rajjy’s style would be to get word to that brother of the blushin’ bride so I got in to see him last night and coughed up everything. He’s a fine fellow. They don’t grow ’em better. He was mighty33 grateful, but he said it wouldn’t do any good for him to say anything to her. He figured that would make it worse. He said she wouldn’t believe him. The only thing that’d get to her, he said, would be to have some paper expose his royal job-lots and make him ridiculous in the eyes of all her friends.
“So I came down town and slipped an ear-full to Cunningham, a friend of mine on the Times, and he did the rest. I’m sorry, old boy, but I just couldn’t help it. It’d a been one of the best stories ever put over if we’d let it go through and it puts the kibosh on the lecture tour, but there just naturally wasn’t anythin’ else to do. Women and children first, as they say when the ship hits an iceberg35. Am I right?”
Mr. Denby sprang up and grasped Jimmy by the hand.
“You certainly are,” he said enthusiastically. “I feel better already. I’m sure Mr. Bartlett will understand. Did you know he was coming to town today?”
“I did not,” returned Jimmy. “That’s a good exit cue, though. I haven’t the nerve to face him until this thing kind of blows over. I’ll duck under cover for twenty-four hours and let you break the news to mother. Slip him the real inside stuff. Maybe he’ll fall for it.”
Chester Bartlett was the maddest man in the entire state of Illinois when he read the story of the expose on the incoming train to Chicago that morning and the quips which were hurled36 at him by dozens of his friends in his club at luncheon37 gave substance and solidity to his rage. His interview with Mr. Denby was a stormy affair and his reaction to what Jimmy termed the “real inside stuff” was violent in the extreme. While still in the throes of his anger he wrote a brief message to the press agent which the erstwhile lecturer on far eastern affairs was requested to deliver in person to his friend.
Mr. Denby found Jimmy at his hotel immersed in the preparation of advertising38 copy. He looked up hopefully; Mr. Denby handed him the note in silence and he tore it open with a foreboding of disaster.
“No man can make me ridiculous and remain in my employ,” it ran. “You’re through the moment you receive this. You should never have encouraged such an affair as the romance Denby tells me about. As a matter of fact it was a foolhardy thing to try and palm that fellow off as a prince. You might have known you’d come a cropper sooner or later. You’ve got too many ideas for your own good and I’ll be satisfied to go along hereafter with someone who’s perhaps a little shy on brilliancy, but who’s long on balance.”
“Can you beat ’em,” inquired Jimmy, helplessly. “They’re all alike. No matter what you do you’re always in wrong.”
The telephone bell rang just then and he barked a rude “hello” into the transmitter. The voice at the other end was hearty39 and good-natured.
“Is that Mr. Martin—Mr. James T. Martin?—this is Easton talking—Easton—Junius P. Easton—thought I’d let you know that my sister is cured—can’t begin to thank you for what you did—tried to reciprocate40 this morning—told my brokers41 to carry a thousand shares of Consolidated42 Gutta Percha in your name—closed out at a quarter to three—ten point rise—you’ll get the check in the morning—had a little inside information, you know—did pretty well myself, too—say, you impress me as being a pretty clever sort of a lad—ever think of going into business on your own?—it’s the only game—why work for anyone?—think it over.”
Jimmy was still mumbling43 his thanks when the other excused himself and hung up. Mr. Denby, who hadn’t grasped the import of the telephonic conversation, betrayed an intense interest in the proceedings44.
“What’s up?” he questioned.
“Consolidated Gutta Percha,” replied Jimmy. “Want a job?”
“You know I do. Who with?”
“Why with me, of course, you old highbrow. And look here. Don’t you go palmin’ off any fake dukes or rajahs or anythin’ like that. If you do you’ll get the bum’s rush and I won’t take the trouble to write you a letter about it, either.”
Mr. Denby raised a deprecatory hand.
“I’ll promise to be good,” he said, “but may I be permitted to ask another question?”
“Shoot—while the shootin’s good.”
“Well, then, in the parlance45 of the theatrical profession—with which, I take it, we are still to be identified—‘where do we go from here?’”
Jimmy pulled a pink letter out of an inside pocket and proffered46 it to his friend with a flourish.
“Cedar47 Rapids is our next stand, you old adjective hound,” he said heartily48. “Take a look at this little message.”
It was, Mr. Denby found, a note from Lolita Murphy and it contained a contrite49 plea for forgiveness for her abrupt50 departure from Boston many weeks before and a hope that the diplomatic relations then severed51 might be renewed.
“Old Mr. Higgins,” she wrote, “wants someone to take the lease of the Opera House off his hands. He’s had a cataract52 on his left eye for two years, and now he’s got rheumatism53 in his right hip34 and he wants to go out to California. He’s been doing great business this season and on the nights when he hasn’t had regular shows he’s been putting on big extra special feature films and packing people in. I thought maybe you’d like to try your hand at settling down and running a theatre. Of course, Main Street isn’t Broadway, but I like it lots better and maybe you could learn to, too. It means home folks to me. Maybe it might come to mean the same thing to you—some time.”
Mr. Denby gasped54 when he read this. When he tried to talk the words did not come trippingly....
“You mean you’re going to—to—run the opera house in Cedar Rapids?”
Jimmy grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him in an outburst of fierce joviality55.
“I mean that we’re going to run it,” he said. “All three of us. What do you think about smearing56 a catch-line all over town—‘A Homey Theatre for Home Folks’? I’ve got an idea that’d make a hit with a Certain Party.”
THE END
点击
收听单词发音
收听单词发音 |
1
sips
|
|
| n.小口喝，一小口的量( sip的名词复数 )v.小口喝，呷，抿( sip的第三人称单数 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
2
secluded
|
|
| adj.与世隔绝的；隐退的；偏僻的v.使隔开，使隐退( seclude的过去式和过去分词) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
3
forth
|
|
| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
4
stunt
|
|
| n.惊人表演，绝技，特技；vt.阻碍...发育，妨碍...生长 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
5
decided
|
|
| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
6
theatrical
|
|
| adj.剧场的，演戏的；做戏似的，做作的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
7
cursorily
|
|
| adv.粗糙地，疏忽地，马虎地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
8
dealing
|
|
| n.经商方法，待人态度 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
9
technically
|
|
| adv.专门地，技术上地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
10
deferentially
|
|
| adv.表示敬意地，谦恭地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
11
apprehension
|
|
| n.理解，领悟；逮捕，拘捕；忧虑 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
12
mien
|
|
| n.风采；态度 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
13
eminent
|
|
| adj.显赫的，杰出的，有名的，优良的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
14
perusal
|
|
| n.细读，熟读；目测 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
15
collapse
|
|
| vi.累倒；昏倒；倒塌；塌陷 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
16
sarcastic
|
|
| adj.讥讽的，讽刺的，嘲弄的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
17
verbiage
|
|
| n.冗词；冗长 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
18
seclusion
|
|
| n.隐遁，隔离 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
19
pensively
|
|
| adv.沉思地，焦虑地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
20
incarnate
|
|
| adj.化身的，人体化的，肉色的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
21
misery
|
|
| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
22
jaunty
|
|
| adj．愉快的，满足的；adv.心满意足地，洋洋得意地；n.心满意足；洋洋得意 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
23
ineffably
|
|
| adv.难以言喻地，因神圣而不容称呼地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
24
saner
|
|
| adj.心智健全的( sane的比较级 )；神志正常的；明智的；稳健的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
25
judgment
|
|
| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
26
miserable
|
|
| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
27
utterly
|
|
| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
28
stammered
|
|
| v.结巴地说出( stammer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
29
gal
|
|
| n.姑娘，少女 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
30
Buddha
|
|
| n.佛；佛像；佛陀 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
31
hunch
|
|
| n.预感，直觉 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
32
cramp
|
|
| n.痉挛；[pl.](腹)绞痛；vt.限制，束缚 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
33
mighty
|
|
| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
34
hip
|
|
| n.臀部，髋；屋脊 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
35
iceberg
|
|
| n.冰山，流冰，冷冰冰的人 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
36
hurled
|
|
| v.猛投，用力掷( hurl的过去式和过去分词 )；大声叫骂 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
37
luncheon
|
|
| n.午宴，午餐，便宴 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
38
advertising
|
|
| n.广告业；广告活动 a.广告的；广告业务的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
39
hearty
|
|
| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
40
reciprocate
|
|
| v.往复运动；互换；回报，酬答 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
41
brokers
|
|
| n.（股票、外币等）经纪人( broker的名词复数 )；中间人；代理商；（订合同的）中人v.做掮客（或中人等）( broker的第三人称单数 )；作为权力经纪人进行谈判；以中间人等身份安排… | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
42
consolidated
|
|
| a.联合的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
43
mumbling
|
|
| 含糊地说某事，叽咕，咕哝( mumble的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
44
proceedings
|
|
| n.进程，过程，议程；诉讼(程序)；公报 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
45
parlance
|
|
| n.说法；语调 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
46
proffered
|
|
| v.提供，贡献，提出( proffer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
47
cedar
|
|
| n.雪松，香柏(木) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
48
heartily
|
|
| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
49
contrite
|
|
| adj.悔悟了的，后悔的，痛悔的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
50
abrupt
|
|
| adj.突然的，意外的；唐突的，鲁莽的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
51
severed
|
|
| v.切断，断绝( sever的过去式和过去分词 )；断，裂 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
52
cataract
|
|
| n.大瀑布，奔流，洪水，白内障 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
53
rheumatism
|
|
| n.风湿病 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
54
gasped
|
|
| v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
55
joviality
|
|
| n.快活 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
56
smearing
|
|
| 污点，拖尾效应 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
| 欢迎访问英文小说网 |