"Par1 Di', Mam'selle Elaine," exclaimed the old housekeeper2, her eyes growing brighter at sight of her. "I had a dream about a black horse. Is anything wrong with you?"
"Nothing. And your poor lame3 knees, Marie—they are better?"
"N'importe," she grunted4, "but I do not like the feel of the night. Was M'sieur Ben down there with you?"
"Yes."
"You should be in bed by now. You must go at once."
"I think I shall sleep in the little room off yours to-night."
"Bien. Then if you need anything in the night, you can call me."
Marie was scarcely able to turn herself in her bed, but, she still felt the responsibility of the house.
"Very well, Marie. Good night."
She kissed the old housekeeper upon the forehead and was going out when she heard the latter murmur5 as though to herself,
"The black horse may mean Jacques."
"Have you heard nothing from him in his new position?" she asked, turning at the door.
"Non," she answered sharply. "Go to bed."
So the girl went on into a darkness that she, too, found ridden by black horses.
For three generations the Arsdales had been a family of whom those who claim New York as their inheritance had known both much and little. It was impossible to ignore the silent part Horace Arsdale, the grandfather, had played in the New York business world or the quiet influence he had exerted in such musical and literary centres as existed in his day. Any one who knew anybody would answer an inquiry6 as to who they might be with a surprised lift of the eyebrows7.
"The Arsdales? Why they are—the Arsdales."
"But what—"
"Oh, they are a queer lot. But they have brains and—money."
Horace Arsdale died in an asylum8, and there were the usual ugly rumors9 as to what brought him there. He left a son Benjamin, and Benjamin built the present Arsdale house at a time when it was like building in the wilderness10. Here he shut himself up with his bride, a French girl he had met on his travels. Ask any one who Benjamin Arsdale was and they would be apt to answer,
"Benjamin Arsdale? Oh, he is Benjamin Arsdale. They say he has a great deal of talent and—money."
The first statement seemed to be proven by some very delicate lyrical verse which appeared from time to time in the magazines. Though a member of the best half dozen New York clubs, not a dozen men out of the hundreds who knew his name had ever seen him.
His wife died within three years, some say from a broken heart, some say from homesickness, leaving a boy child six months old. At this point Benjamin Arsdale's name disappeared even from the magazines, and save to a very few people he was as though dead and buried beneath his odd house. An old Frenchman, his wife, and his son Jacques Moisson seemed content to live there and look after the household duties. Some ten years later a little girl of nine appeared, a niece of Arsdale's, it was said, and this completed the household, though old Père Moisson died in the course of time, leaving his wife and Jacques as a sort of legacy11 to his old master, for a body-guard. The only reports of the inmates12 to the outside world came through the other servants who were employed here from time to time, and the most they had to say was that Arsdale was "queer," and they did n't think it was the place to bring up young children, though the master did adore the very ground they walked on. When the children were older, Arsdale was seen at concerts and the theatre with them, but seemed to resent any attempt on the part of well meaning acquaintances to renew social ties. People remarked upon how old for his age he had grown, and some spoke13 in a whisper of the spirituality of his features.
So much every one knew and that was nothing. What Elaine Arsdale, whom he had legally adopted, knew, was what caused the white light about the bowed head of the man. When she first learned she could not tell, but as a very young girl she remembered days when he came to her with his face very white and tense, and in his eyes the terror of one in great pain, and said to her,
"Little girl, will you sit with me a bit?"
So she would take a seat by the window in the library and he would face her very quietly with his long fingers twined around the chair arms. He would not speak and she knew that he did not wish her to speak. He wished for her only to sit there where he could see her. She was never afraid, but at times there came into his eyes a look that tempted14 her to cry. Sometimes an hour, sometimes two hours passed, and then he would rise to his feet and walk unsteadily towards her and say,
"Now I may kiss your forehead, Elaine."
He would kiss her, and shortly after fall into a deep sleep of exhaustion15.
Between these periods, which she did not understand save that in some way he suffered a great deal, he was to her the gentlest and kindest guardian16 that ever a girl had. He personally superintended her studies and those of Ben, her only other playmate. The day was divided into regular hours for work and play. In the morning at nine he met them in the library and heard their lessons and gave them their tasks for the next day. He seemed to know everything and had a way of making one understand very difficult matters such as fractions and irregular French verbs. In the afternoon came the music lessons. He was anxious for them both to play well upon the violin, for he said that it had been to him one of the greatest joys of his life. Each night before bedtime he used to play for them himself and make her see finer pictures than even those she found in her fairy tales. But there were other times when he could make his violin terrible. He used to punish Ben in this way. When the latter had been over wilful17, he made the boy stand before him. Then taking a position in front of him, he played things so wild, so fearful, that the boy would beg for mercy.
"Do you wish your soul to be like that?" he would demand sternly.
"No, father, no," Ben would whimper.
"Then you must control yourself. If ever you lose a grip upon yourself in temper or anything else, it will be like that."
But the music even at such times never frightened her, though it sounded very savage18, like the wind through the trees in a thunder storm.
The only time that he had ever seemed the slightest bit angry at her was once during that wonderful summer when he had taken them abroad. She was seventeen, and on the boat she met a man with whom she fell in love. He was very much older than she, and possessed19 a glorious mustache which turned up at the corners. He helped her up and down the deck one day when the wind was blowing, and that night she lay awake thinking about him. When she appeared in the morning with her eyes heavy and her thoughts far away, the father put his arm about her and escorted her to the stern of the boat. Then sitting down beside her, he said,
"Tell me what is on your mind, little girl."
She told him quite simply, and had been surprised to see his face grow white and terrible.
"He put those thoughts into your heart?"
He rose to his feet and started towards the saloon. She knew what he was about to do. She flung her arms around his knees and, sobbing20, pleaded with him until he stayed. Then after she had calmed a little, he talked to her and she listened as though to a stranger.
"Little girl," he cried fiercely, "there is much that you do not understand, and much that I pray God you never will understand. One of these things is the nature of man. If it were not for all the other fair things there are in life I would place you in a convent, for the best man who ever lived, little girl, is not good enough to take into his keeping the worst woman. They break their hearts with their weaknesses—they break their hearts."
"But you, dear Dada—"
"I did it! God forgive me, I did it, too!"
At this point he gained control of himself and his wild speech, but the words remained forever an echo in her heart.
They passed the next summer in the Adirondacks, and here in the deep woods she spent the pleasantest period of her life. She was strangely atune with the big pines and the fragrant21 shadows which lay beneath them. Arsdale used to sit beside her in these solitudes22 and read aloud by the hour from the poets in his sweet musical voice. At such times she wondered more than ever what he had meant in that outburst on the steamer. Here, too, he told her more of her mother who had died at almost the same time that Ben's mother had died. But of the father all he ever told her was,
"My brother was an Arsdale—like the rest of us."
So she lived her peaceful life and was conscious of missing nothing, save at odd moments the man with the beautiful mustache. Marie, the old housekeeper, was as careful of her as Jacques was of her father. Ben was kind to her, though during the latter years he had grown a bit out of her life. This had worried the father—this and other things. One day he had called her into the library, and though he was greatly agitated23 she saw that it was not in the usual way.
"Little girl," he said, "if it should so happen that you are ever left alone here with Ben and he—he does not seem to act quite himself, I want you to promise me that you will go to this address which I shall leave for you."
She had promised, knowing well to what he referred.
Then his face had hardened.
"There is still another thing you must promise; if at the end of six months he is no better I wish you to promise that you will not live in this house with him or anywhere near him—that you will cut off your life utterly24 from his life."
"But, Dada—"
"Promise."
She promised again, little thinking that the crisis of which he seemed to have a foreboding was so near at hand. A dark day came within two months when her soul was rent with the knowledge that he lay stark25 and cold in that very library where so much of his life had been lived. Marie gathered her into her arms and held her tight. She stared aghast at a world which frightened her by its emptiness. At her side stood Ben, his lips twitching26, and in his eyes that haunting fear which always foreran the father's struggles. A month later the boy did not come home one night, but came after three days, a feeble wreck27 of a man. She tore open the letter the father had left, and this took her to Barstow, with whom he had evidently left instructions. That was five months ago, and in the meanwhile she had grown from a very young girl into a woman.
This was the sombre background to her frightened thoughts as she lay in her bed next to Marie. In the midst of all the figures which haunted her, there stood now one alone who offered her anything but fearful things—and he was a stranger. Out of the infinite multitude of the indifferent who surrounded her, he had leaped and within these few hours made her debtor28 to him for her life, and now for partial relief from a strain which was worse than sudden death might have been. In spite of other torments29 it was like a cool hand upon her brow to know that out in that chaos30 into which the boy had plunged31, this other had followed. She had perfect confidence in him. After all, it is as easy in a crisis to pick a friend from among strangers as from among friends.
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1
par
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| n.标准，票面价值，平均数量；adj.票面的，平常的，标准的 | |
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2
housekeeper
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| n.管理家务的主妇，女管家 | |
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3
lame
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| adj.跛的，(辩解、论据等)无说服力的 | |
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4
grunted
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| （猪等）作呼噜声( grunt的过去式和过去分词 )； （指人）发出类似的哼声； 咕哝着说 | |
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5
murmur
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| n.低语，低声的怨言；v.低语，低声而言 | |
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6
inquiry
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| n.打听，询问，调查，查问 | |
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7
eyebrows
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| 眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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8
asylum
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| n.避难所，庇护所，避难 | |
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9
rumors
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| n.传闻( rumor的名词复数 )；[古]名誉；咕哝；[古]喧嚷v.传闻( rumor的第三人称单数 )；[古]名誉；咕哝；[古]喧嚷 | |
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10
wilderness
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| n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等，荒漠 | |
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11
legacy
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| n.遗产，遗赠；先人(或过去)留下的东西 | |
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12
inmates
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| n.囚犯( inmate的名词复数 ) | |
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13
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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14
tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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15
exhaustion
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| n.耗尽枯竭，疲惫，筋疲力尽，竭尽，详尽无遗的论述 | |
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16
guardian
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| n.监护人；守卫者，保护者 | |
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17
wilful
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| adj.任性的，故意的 | |
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savage
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| adj.野蛮的；凶恶的，残暴的；n.未开化的人 | |
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19
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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20
sobbing
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| <主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的 | |
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fragrant
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| adj.芬香的，馥郁的，愉快的 | |
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22
solitudes
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| n.独居( solitude的名词复数 )；孤独；荒僻的地方；人迹罕至的地方 | |
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agitated
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| adj.被鼓动的，不安的 | |
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24
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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stark
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| adj.荒凉的；严酷的；完全的；adv.完全地 | |
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26
twitching
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| n.颤搐 | |
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27
wreck
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| n.失事，遇难；沉船；vt.(船等)失事，遇难 | |
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debtor
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| n.借方，债务人 | |
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29
torments
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| （肉体或精神上的）折磨，痛苦( torment的名词复数 )； 造成痛苦的事物[人] | |
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30
chaos
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| n.混乱，无秩序 | |
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31
plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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