As he put down his hat and stick he was conscious of feeling very glad that he was going to see Katty. Mrs. Winslow had again been away, was it for four days, or five? It's true that for part of that time he himself had been to London, and very busy, but even so the time had seemed long. He told himself that he had a hundred things to say to her, and he even felt a little thrill of excitement as he followed the servant through the hall.
And Katty? Katty, who the moment she had heard the front-door bell had quietly begun making the tea—she always made tea herself, with the help of a pretty spirit lamp—Katty also felt a queer little thrill, but for a very different reason. Since they had last met she had come to a certain resolution with regard to Godfrey Pavely, and though she did not mean to say anything to-day even remotely bearing on it, still it affected2 her, made her regard him with rather different eyes.
It is a great mistake to think that coldness and calculation [Pg 85] always go together. Katty Winslow was calculating, but she was not cold. For once she had been quite honest when writing that odd little postscript3 to her letter of thanks for Godfrey Pavely's wedding present. Godfrey had, in very truth, been her first love, and she had suffered acutely in her heart, as well as in her pride, when he had run away. Even now, she felt as if there were a strong, secret, passionate4 link between them, and there was no day when she did not tell herself that she would have made the banker a perfect, and yes—a very happy wife.
Godfrey came into the drawing-room with a pleased, eager look on his face. He took his hostess's hand in his, and held it for perhaps a thought longer than he would have held, say, Mrs. Tropenell's hand. But the hand he now held was a soft, malleable5 little hand, not thin and firm, like that of Oliver's mother.
Katty was smiling at him, such a bright, friendly, pretty smile. "Sit down," she said softly. "And before we begin talking, take a cup of tea. You look very tired—and you're late, too, Godfrey. I was beginning to think that you weren't coming at all!"
And then he said something which surprised her, but which somehow chimed in quite surprisingly with what had been filling her busy, active brain of late.
"Jim Beath has been with me most of the afternoon," he spoke6 wearily, complainingly. "I had to ask him to lunch at the Club, and he stayed on and on."
Now the Beaths were by way of being intimate friends of Katty Winslow, and Jim Beath was a client of Godfrey Pavely.
[Pg 86] "Oh, but that's very interesting!" she cried. "I've been wondering so much how that affair is going on—I do so hope it will be all right!"
And then, as she saw a shocked look come over her visitor's narrow, rather fleshy face, she said in a low voice, "You know how I feel about the divorce laws, Godfrey. I can't help it. They're horribly unfair—so—so ridiculous, in fact!"
As he remained silent, she went on, insisting on her own point of view far more than was her usual way when talking to her self-opinionated friend: "Don't you realise how hard it is that two people utterly7 unsuited to one another should have to go through that sort of horrid8 farce9 just in order to get free?"
He looked at her uncomfortably. Sometimes, even now, Katty startled him by the things she said. But how pretty she looked to-day, bending over the tea-things! Her burnished10 hair was dressed in thick soft coils, her white, well-manicured hand busily engaged in pouring him out just the cup of tea he liked, with the exact proportions of milk, cream, and sugar that were right—and which Laura never remembered.
So it was mildly that he answered: "I don't think the Beaths ought to want to get what you call 'free.' Divorce was not instituted to meet a case like theirs—" he hesitated, and then with a certain effort he went on: "Divorce was instituted to meet a case like yours, Katty."
Godfrey Pavely was weary of the Beaths and of their divorce plot—for so he called it to himself. There were other things he wanted to talk to Katty about. Besides, he did not think that that sort of affair was a nice subject of discussion between a man [Pg 87] and a woman, however intimate. In some ways Godfrey Pavely was very old-fashioned.
But she wouldn't let it alone. "Divorce ought to meet a case like theirs," she went on obstinately11.
"My dear Katty! What would happen to the country if all the married people who didn't get on with one another were to separate?"
And then, looking at her defiant12 face, a most extraordinary and disagreeable suspicion darted13 into Godfrey Pavely's mind. Was it possible, conceivable, that Katty was thinking of Jim Beath as a second husband for herself? The thought shook him with anger and with repugnance14. He felt he must have that out—here and now.
"Do you like Jim Beath?" he asked slowly; "I know you've been seeing a great deal of them this last year. In fact, he mentioned you to-day."
She could read him like a book, and she remained silent long enough to make him feel increasingly suspicious and uncomfortable.
But to-day Katty was not in the mood for a cat-and-mouse game, so she answered deliberately15: "No, Godfrey, I can't say that I do like Jim Beath! I've tried to like him. But—well, I do thoroughly16 understand Nita's feeling towards him. He's so sarcastic—so hard and unsympathetic!" She waited a moment, then added significantly: "Still, I think he's behaving awfully17 well now. He'd have been quite willing to go on—he told me that himself. But when he saw that Nita was really unhappy, and that she was getting fond of another man, he made up his mind that he would do all he could to make her free."
Katty was playing rather nervously18 with the edge [Pg 88] of the pretty tea-cloth, and Pavely wondered whether she was telling him the whole truth. She was flushed, and she looked unwontedly moved.
"It's a very odd thing for a man to do," he said coldly. "I mean a man being willing to give up his wife to another man."
"Why shouldn't he? When he doesn't love her, and when she positively20 dislikes him! Nita never understood Jim Beath—she was always afraid of him, and of his sharp, clever tongue. Of course it's sad about their little boy. But they've made a very good arrangement—they're going to share him. Jim will have the child half the year, and Nita the other half, till he goes to school—when they will have him for alternate holidays."
"You talk as if it was all settled!" Katty's visitor exclaimed crossly. "If they say as much to other people as they seem to do to you, they will never get their divorce—the King's Proctor is sure to intervene!"
Katty gave a quick, curious look at her visitor. Godfrey went too far—sometimes.
The thought flashed through her mind that she was wasting her life, her few remaining years of youth, on a man who would never be more to her than he was now, unless—unless, that is, she could bring him to the point of putting himself imaginatively, emotionally into Jim Beath's shoes. Then everything might be changed. But was there any hope of such a thing coming to pass?
But all she said, in a constrained21 tone, was, "Of course I ought not to have said anything of the matter to you at all. But I'm afraid, Godfrey, that I [Pg 89] often do tell you things I ought to keep to myself. You must try and forget what I said."
He was surprised, bewildered, by the sudden steely coldness of her tone. "Of course you can say anything you like to say to me. Why, Katty, I tell you all my secrets!"
"Do you?" She glanced over at him rather sharply. "I don't think you tell me all your secrets, Godfrey."
He looked at her puzzled. "You know that I do," he said in a low voice. "Come, Katty, you're not being fair! It's because I have such a high regard for you, that I feel sorry when you talk as you've been talking just now—as if, after all, the marriage bond didn't matter."
But even as he said these words, Godfrey Pavely felt a wild impulse to throw over the pretty little gimcrack tea-table, take Katty in his arms, and kiss her, kiss her, kiss her! He came back, with an inward start, to hear her exclaim,
"I don't consider the peculiar22 relations which exist between Nita and Jim Beath a marriage at all! They have nothing in common the one with the other. What interests him doesn't interest her——"
She waited a moment, saw that he was reddening uncomfortably, and then hurried on, driven by some sudden instinct that she was at last playing on the hidden chord she had so often longed to find and strike in Godfrey Pavely's sore heart: "Nita can't bear Jim to touch her—she will hardly shake hands with him! Do you call that a marriage?"
As he remained silent, she suddenly said in a voice so low as to be almost a whisper, "Forgive me, Godfrey. I—I ought not have said that to you."
[Pg 90] He answered loudly, discordantly23, "I don't know what you mean, Katty! Why shouldn't you say anything you like about these people? They are nothing, and less than nothing to me, and I don't suppose they're very much to you."
Even as he spoke he had got up out of the easy chair into which he had sunk with such happy content a few minutes before. "I must be going now," he said heavily, "Oliver Tropenell's coming in for a game of tennis at six."
She made no effort to keep him, though she longed to say to him: "Oliver Tropenell's been in your house, and in your garden, all afternoon. Both he and Laura would be only too pleased if you stayed on here till dinner-time."
But instead of saying that, she got up, and silently accompanied him to the front door.
There poor Godfrey did linger regretfully. He felt like a child who has been baulked of some promised treat—not by his own fault, but by the fault of those about him. "Will you be in to-morrow?" he asked abruptly24. "I think I might come in a little earlier to-morrow, Katty."
"Yes, do come to-morrow! I seem to have a hundred things to say to you. I'm sorry we wasted the little time we had to-day in talking over those tiresome25 people and their matrimonial affairs."
There was also a look of regret in her face, and suddenly he told himself that he might have been mistaken just now, and that she had meant nothing—nothing in the least personal or—or probing, in what she had said. "Look here!" he said awkwardly. "If there's anything you really want to say—you said you [Pg 91] had a hundred things to tell me—would you like me to come back for a few minutes? There's no great hurry, you know—I mean about Tropenell and his game."
She shook her head, and to his moved surprise, the tears came into her pretty brown eyes. "No, not now. I'm tired, Godfrey. It's rather absurd, but I haven't really got over my journey yet; I think I shall have to take your advice, and stay at home rather more."
For a long moment they advanced towards one another as if something outside themselves was drawing them together. Then Godfrey Pavely put out his hand, and grasped hers firmly. It was almost as if he was holding her back—at arm's length.
Katty laughed nervously. She shook her hand free of his, opened the door wide, and exclaimed: "Well! Good-bye till to-morrow then. My love to Laura."
He nodded, and was gone.
She shut the door behind him, and, turning, went slowly upstairs. She felt tired, weak, upset—and, what she did not often feel, restless and unhappy as well. It irritated her—nay, it did more than irritate, it hurt her shrewdly—to think of those three people who were about to spend a pleasant couple of hours together. She could so easily, so safely, have made a fourth at their constant meetings.
If only Laura Pavely were a little less absorbed in herself, a little more what ordinary people called good-natured! It would have been so natural for Laura, when she knew that Oliver Tropenell was coming to dinner, to send across to Rosedean, and ask her, Katty, to make a fourth. It was not as if Laura was at all jealous. She was as little jealous of Godfrey and of Katty—and at that thought Katty gave a queer, bitter [Pg 92] little laugh which startled her, for she had laughed aloud—as was Godfrey of Laura and Oliver! With as little or as much reason? Katty would have given a great deal to be able to answer her own question. She thought she knew half the answer—but it was, alas26! by far the less important half.
She opened the door of her bedroom, went through into it, and without troubling to take off her pretty blouse and freshly ironed linen27 skirt, walked deliberately to her bed, lay down, and shut her eyes—not to sleep but to think.
What had been forced upon Katty Winslow's notice during the last few weeks had created a revolution in her mind and in her plans.
For a while, after her return from that dreary28 period of convalescence29 in a seaside home, she, who was generally so positive, had doubted the evidence of her own eyes and senses. But gradually that which she would have deemed the last thing likely to happen had emerged, startlingly clear. Oliver Tropenell, to use Katty's own expression, had fallen madly in love with Laura Pavely. No woman could doubt that who saw them together. When Katty had left Rosedean, there had been the beginnings of—well, not exactly a flirtation30, but a very pleasant friendship between Tropenell and herself. Now he hardly seemed to know that she existed.
But if it was only too plain to see how matters stood with Oliver, this was far from being the case as regarded Laura. Katty owned herself quite ignorant of Laura's real nature, and, as is so often the case [Pg 93] with those who know nothing, she was inclined to believe that there was nothing to know.
Perhaps, after all, it was only because this man was the son of her friend that Laura allowed him to be always with her. They were always together—not always alone, for Oliver seemed to be at The Chase quite as much when Godfrey was at home, as at other times. But with Katty, she being the manner of woman she was, it was the other times which impressed her imagination. In the six short weeks she, Katty, had been away, Oliver Tropenell had evidently become a component31 part of Laura Pavely's life.
She knew, vaguely32, how the two spent their time, and the knowledge irked her—the more that it suggested nothing of their real relations. Thus gardening was one of Laura's favourite occupations and few pleasures; and Oliver, who could never have gardened before—what gardening could there be to do in Mexico?—now spent hours out of doors with Laura, carrying out her behests, behaving just as an under-gardener would behave, when working under his mistress's directions.
And Godfrey, instead of objecting to this extraordinary state of things, seemed quite pleased. Oliver, so much was clear, had become Godfrey Pavely's friend almost as much as he was Laura's.
As she lay there, straight out on her bed, Katty told herself with terrible bitterness that it was indeed an amazing state of things to which she had come back—one which altered her own life in a strange degree. She had not realised, till these last few weeks, how much Godfrey Pavely was to her, and how jealous she [Pg 94] could become even of such an affection as his cordial liking33 of Oliver Tropenell.
Yet when Godfrey was actually with her, she retained all her old ascendency over him; in certain ways it had perhaps even increased. It was as if his unsuspecting proximity34 to another man's strong, secret passion warmed his sluggish35, cautious nature.
But that curious fact had not made his friend Katty's part any the more easy of late. Far from it! There was no pleasing Godfrey in these days. He was hurt if she was cold; shocked, made uneasy in his conscience, if she responded in ever so slight a way to the little excursions in sentiment he sometimes half-ashamedly permitted himself.
Tears came into her eyes, and rolled slowly down her cheeks, as she recalled what had happened a few moments ago in the hall. He had been aching to take her in his arms and kiss her—kiss her as he had been wont19 to do, in the old days, in the shabby little lodging36 where she lived with her father. Poor little motherless girl, who had thought herself so clever. At that time she had believed herself to be as good as engaged to "young Mr. Pavely," as the Pewsbury folk called him. Even now she could remember, as if it had happened yesterday, the bitter humiliation37, as well as the pain which had shaken her, when she had learnt, casually38, of his sudden disappearance39 from Pewsbury.
What hypocrites men were! The fact that often they were unconscious hypocrites afforded Katty little consolation40.
It was plain that Godfrey was quite unaware41 of Oliver's growing absorption in Laura, but that surely [Pg 95] was not to his credit. A man of his age, and with his experience of life, ought to have known, ought to have guessed, ought to have seen—by now! Instead, he remained absorbed in himself, in the tiresome little business interests of his prosperous life, in his new friendship for Oliver Tropenell, and—in that ambiguous, tantalising friendship with herself.
Again she told herself that she was wasting what remained to her of youth and of vitality42 over a thoroughly unsatisfactory state of things, and painfully she determined43 that, if what she had gradually come to plan since her return home did not come to pass, she would leave Rosedean, and make another life for herself elsewhere.
The things Katty toiled44 and schemed for had a way of coming to pass. She had planned her divorce long before it had actually taken place, at a time indeed when it seemed impossible to believe that it ever could take place. Bob Winslow had been adoringly, slavishly devoted45 to her for more than two-thirds of their married life, and it had taken her trouble and time to drive him into the courses it was necessary he should pursue to procure46 her freedom.
She had no doubt—there could be no doubt—that were Godfrey free he would turn to her instinctively47 at once. She was well aware of her power over him, and till lately she had been virtuously48 proud of what she imagined to be her loyalty49 to Laura. Also she had had no wish to make her own position at Rosedean untenable.
Even as it was, Godfrey came far too often to see her. Had she lived nearer to Pewsbury, even a mile [Pg 96] nearer, his frequent calls on her would have meant a flood of ill-natured gossip in the little town.
Yes, the situation, from Katty's point of view, was thoroughly unsatisfactory, and, as far as she was concerned, it was time it was ended or mended. And then, once more, for the hundredth time, her restless, excited mind swung back to what was to her just now the real mystery, the all-important problem—the relations between Oliver Tropenell and Laura Pavely.
Of course it was possible—though Katty thought not likely—that Tropenell was still unaware of his passion for Laura. Perhaps he still disguised it under the name of "friendship." But even if that were so, such a state of things could not endure for very long. Any day some trifling50 happening might open his eyes, and, yes—why not?—Godfrey's.
点击
收听单词发音
收听单词发音 |
1
factotum
|
|
| n.杂役；听差 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
2
affected
|
|
| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
3
postscript
|
|
| n.附言，又及；(正文后的)补充说明 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
4
passionate
|
|
| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
5
malleable
|
|
| adj.(金属)可锻的;有延展性的；(性格)可训练的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
6
spoke
|
|
| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
7
utterly
|
|
| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
8
horrid
|
|
| adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
9
farce
|
|
| n.闹剧，笑剧，滑稽戏；胡闹 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
10
burnished
|
|
| adj.抛光的，光亮的v.擦亮（金属等），磨光( burnish的过去式和过去分词 )；被擦亮，磨光 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
11
obstinately
|
|
| ad.固执地，顽固地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
12
defiant
|
|
| adj.无礼的，挑战的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
13
darted
|
|
| v.投掷，投射( dart的过去式和过去分词 )；向前冲，飞奔 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
14
repugnance
|
|
| n.嫌恶 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
15
deliberately
|
|
| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
16
thoroughly
|
|
| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
17
awfully
|
|
| adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
18
nervously
|
|
| adv.神情激动地，不安地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
19
wont
|
|
| adj.习惯于；v.习惯；n.习惯 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
20
positively
|
|
| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
21
constrained
|
|
| adj.束缚的,节制的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
22
peculiar
|
|
| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
23
discordantly
|
|
| adv.不一致地，不和谐地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
24
abruptly
|
|
| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
25
tiresome
|
|
| adj.令人疲劳的，令人厌倦的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
26
alas
|
|
| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
27
linen
|
|
| n.亚麻布，亚麻线，亚麻制品；adj.亚麻布制的，亚麻的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
28
dreary
|
|
| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
29
convalescence
|
|
| n.病后康复期 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
30
flirtation
|
|
| n.调情，调戏，挑逗 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
31
component
|
|
| n.组成部分，成分，元件；adj.组成的，合成的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
32
vaguely
|
|
| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
33
liking
|
|
| n.爱好；嗜好；喜欢 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
34
proximity
|
|
| n.接近，邻近 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
35
sluggish
|
|
| adj.懒惰的，迟钝的，无精打采的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
36
lodging
|
|
| n.寄宿，住所；(大学生的)校外宿舍 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
37
humiliation
|
|
| n.羞辱 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
38
casually
|
|
| adv.漠不关心地，无动于衷地，不负责任地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
39
disappearance
|
|
| n.消失，消散，失踪 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
40
consolation
|
|
| n.安慰，慰问 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
41
unaware
|
|
| a.不知道的，未意识到的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
42
vitality
|
|
| n.活力，生命力，效力 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
43
determined
|
|
| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
44
toiled
|
|
| 长时间或辛苦地工作( toil的过去式和过去分词 )； 艰难缓慢地移动，跋涉 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
45
devoted
|
|
| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
46
procure
|
|
| vt.获得，取得，促成；vi.拉皮条 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
47
instinctively
|
|
| adv.本能地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
48
virtuously
|
|
| 合乎道德地，善良地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
49
loyalty
|
|
| n.忠诚，忠心 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
50
trifling
|
|
| adj.微不足道的；没什么价值的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
| 欢迎访问英文小说网 |