Laura had not spoken to him again, except to utter the few sentences which were necessary to keep up the pretence2 that they two were on their usual terms, before the servants, and, what had been more difficult, before their little daughter.
After Alice had gone to bed, they had eaten their dinner in silence, and, in silence also, they had spent the evening reading up to eleven o'clock. At last Godfrey, getting up, had said in a nervous, conciliatory tone, "Well, good-night, Laura." But she had not answered him, for by that time the servants were gone to bed, and there was no longer any reason for hypocrisy3.
Laura had always been an exceptionally silent woman, but this was the first time, in the long armed neutrality of their married life, that she had actually refused to answer when he spoke1 to her. Feeling acutely uncomfortable, because curiously4 helpless, Godfrey Pavely now wondered how long this state of things was to endure.
He asked himself whether he had said anything yesterday which could really justify5 Laura in this extraordinary attitude. Now and again there seemed [Pg 145] to sound in his ears the voice in which she had uttered the last words which she had spoken to him of her own free will. "Don't speak to me," she had exclaimed passionately6. "I shall never, never forgive you for this!"
Women were so unreasonable7—ridiculously, absurdly unreasonable. Laura knew exactly what Gillie was like, for he, Godfrey, had gone to special pains to make Laura fully8 understand the mean, despicable and dangerous way in which her brother had behaved over the forged cheque—for forgery9 it was, though it had been difficult to persuade Laura of the fact. He remembered now, how, at last, after he had forced his wife to understand, she had abased10 herself, imploring11 him to save her brother from the consequences of his wicked action.
Godfrey also remembered sorely how grateful Laura had seemed to be after everything had been arranged, and Gillie had finally gone off to Mexico, a ruined and discredited12 man. He felt a glow of virtuous13 satisfaction when he recalled how she had thanked him—her kind, generous husband—for what he had done! True, the loan then advanced had been paid back, and Gillie—to use the stupid expression which seems to be creeping into the British language—had "made good." But that was no reason why he should come back and thrust himself into his, Godfrey's, home, and make friends with Godfrey's only child—after he had actually given an undertaking14, in his own, melodramatic words, "never to darken Godfrey's door again."
Yet in his innermost heart Godfrey Pavely was sorry now that he had behaved as he had done yesterday. [Pg 146] He had allowed his temper to get the better of him, always a silly thing for a sensible man to do. By behaving as he had done he had put a weapon into Laura's hands....
At one moment he considered the advisability of going into Freshley Manor15 on his way home to-day, to consult Mrs. Tropenell. And then he had suddenly remembered that his brother-in-law was actually her guest! That fact alone made a most disagreeable complication.
As he looked over his letters, and dictated16 some of the answers to them, he tried without success to put the matter out of his mind. It had taken there the place occupied by the unpleasantness connected with those absurd anonymous17 letters. For the first time, this morning he forgot them.
There came a knock at the door. "A letter, sir, has just been brought by Mrs. Tropenell's man. He said there was an answer, so he's waiting."
With quickened pulse, Godfrey Pavely opened the letter. He had long been familiar with Mrs. Tropenell's clear, flowing handwriting, and he wondered what she could have to say to him which she preferred to write, rather than telephone.
The banker was attached to Mrs. Tropenell. Always she had acted towards him in a high-minded, straightforward18 way, and on two occasions he had had reason to be specially19 grateful to her, for on each of these occasions she had intervened, successfully, between Laura and himself, and made Laura see reason. But she never alluded20 to the past, even in the remotest way, and he had come of late years to think [Pg 147] and hope she had forgotten those now distant, painful, active misunderstandings.
If Mrs. Tropenell was now pleading with him for a reconciliation22 with Gilbert Baynton, then he knew that it would be very difficult for him to say "no" to a woman to whom he owed so much. It would also be a graceful23 way of getting out of the difficulty in which he had involved himself....
But the contents of the letter disagreeably surprised him, for they were quite other than what he had expected them to be—
"Dear Godfrey:—Oliver and Gilbert Baynton have to go to the Continent on business. I think they will be away for some time, and Gilbert speaks of going straight back to Mexico from France.
"I write to know if you will allow Laura to come up to town with me for a few days? It would enable her to see something of her brother, before a separation which may last, as did their past separation, for years.
"I hope, dear Godfrey, you will see your way to granting this request of mine. It is in very truth my request—not Laura's.
"Your affectionate old friend,
"Lettice Tropenell."
The unfortunate man—for he was in the full meaning of the words an unfortunate man—stared down at the letter.
He felt moved and perplexed24 by the way it was worded. "Your affectionate old friend"—what a strange way to sign herself! Mrs. Tropenell had [Pg 148] never signed herself so before. And what exactly did she mean by saying that it was her request, not Laura's? In spite of those words, he felt convinced that Laura, too proud to ask this favour of him after the shameful25 way she had behaved yesterday, had persuaded Mrs. Tropenell to ask it for her.
He sat down and drew a piece of notepaper towards him. He was glad of the opportunity of showing them all how magnanimous he was—how much of a man. Laura should go to London with his full permission. Of course he knew quite well, at the back of his mind, that if he refused it she would probably go just the same. But in all the circumstances it would be just as well to heap coals of fire on her head. She should go—but not taking their child with her. His little Alice must not be contaminated.
When his daughter was old enough, he, Godfrey, would tell her the truth about her mother's brother. He did not hold with concealing26 this sort of thing from young people. In his family, thank God, there had never been anything to hide. All had always been honest and above-board. Besides, if anything happened to him, Alice would be a very wealthy woman, and Gillie would almost certainly try and get hold of her and of her money. He, Godfrey, knew that well enough.
"My dear Mrs. Tropenell:—Certainly it shall be as you ask——" He could not help adding, "though Laura knows that in doing this she is disregarding my formal wishes. Still, I admit that, Gillie being her brother, it is, I suppose, natural that [Pg 149] she should wish to see him again before he leaves England."
Then he hesitated—indeed, he kept the messenger for whom he had already rung waiting for quite a long time. But at last he signed himself: "Your affectionate, and always grateful, Godfrey Pavely."
When the banker reached home rather early that afternoon—for he felt too much upset to go in and spend his usual pleasant hour with Katty at Rosedean—little Alice met him with the news that "Mummy" had gone to London, and that she, Alice, was going to be allowed to sit up to dinner to bear him company.
It was characteristic of the man that, if relieved, he was also sharply annoyed. He had hoped to extract from his wife some word of reluctant thanks for his magnanimity. But no, she had not even left a note telling him what day she would return!
Things had not fallen out at The Chase that morning as Godfrey Pavely had supposed. After breakfast Laura, still in a kind of stupor27 of pain and indignation, had gone into the garden. She had not been there a quarter of an hour when Mrs. Tropenell, who so seldom came to The Chase, had suddenly appeared, walking with stately, leisurely28 steps over the grass, to tell her of Oliver's and Gillie's coming departure for the Continent.
It was Mrs. Tropenell who had proposed sending that note to Godfrey, but Godfrey, who so little understood his wife, either for good or evil, was right in his belief that she would not have allowed her plans to be affected29 by his answer. At once Laura had determined30 to go to London, whether Godfrey gave his [Pg 150] consent or no. Yet she was relieved when there came to her from Freshley the news that her husband's answer to Mrs. Tropenell's request was in the affirmative.
The message was given to her over the telephone by Oliver Tropenell, and in giving it he used the allusive31 form of words which come naturally when a man knows that what he says may be overheard: "Mother has just had a note saying that it is quite all right. So we propose to call for you in time to get the five minutes to one from Langford Junction32. Does that give you enough time?" And she had exclaimed, "Oh, yes, yes! I'm quite ready now."
To that he had made no answer, and she had felt a little chill at the heart. Oliver's voice had sounded curiously cold—but then the telephone does sometimes alter voices strangely.
Those eight days in London! Laura was often to live through each of those long days during the dull weeks which followed her return home. Yet, when she did look back on that time, she had to admit that she had not been really happy, though the first hours had been filled with a sort of excited triumph and sense of victory. It was such a relief, too, to be away from Godfrey, and spared, even if only for a few days, the constant, painful irritation33 of his presence.
But her brother, for whose sake, after all, she was in London, jarred on her perpetually. For one thing, Gillie was in extravagant34, almost unnaturally35 high spirits, set on what he called "having a good time," and his idea of a good time was, as Oliver once grimly remarked, slightly monotonous36.
Gillie's good time consisted in an eager round of [Pg 151] business interviews, culminating each evening in a rich dinner at one of the smart grill-rooms which were then the fashion, followed by three hours of a musical comedy, and finally supper at some restaurant, the more expensive the better.
To his sister, each evening so spent seemed a dreary37 waste of precious time. For in the daytime the two ladies, who had taken rooms in an old-fashioned hotel in a small street off Piccadilly, saw very little of Gillie and Oliver. Gillie had insisted that Oliver and he should go and stay at what he considered the smartest and most modern hotel in London, and though the strangely assorted38 quartette always lunched together, the two partners had a good deal to do each morning and most afternoons.
To Mrs. Tropenell's surprise Oliver apparently39 had no wish to be with Laura alone. Was it because he was afraid of giving himself away to his coarse-minded, jovial40 partner? Oliver looked stern, abstracted, and, when at the play, bored.
She admitted another possible reason for his almost scrupulous41 avoidance of Laura. With regard to the bitter feud42 between the brothers-in-law, Oliver had spoken to his mother with curious apathy43. Perhaps he was honestly desirous of not taking sides. But on the whole Mrs. Tropenell swung more often to her first theory, and this view was curiously confirmed on the one Sunday spent by them in town.
Gillie, grumbling44, a good deal at the dulness of the English Sunday, had motored off early to the country to spend the day with some people whom he had known in Mexico. And late that morning Oliver suddenly suggested that Laura and he should go out for a turn [Pg 152] in the Green Park—only a stone's-throw from the rooms the two ladies were sharing.
And that hour, which was perhaps fraught45 with bigger circumstance than any one, save Oliver himself, was ever to know, did remain in Laura Pavely's memory as a strange and, in a sense, a delicious oasis46, in her long, arid47 stay in London. For, as the two walked and talked intimately together in a solitude48 all the greater because peopled by the indifferent and unknown, they seemed to come nearer to one another—and to meet, for the first time, in an atmosphere of clarity and truth. Laura, perhaps because she had felt, during these last few days, so desperately49 lonely in a spiritual sense, talked more freely, albeit50 in a more detached way, to her devoted51, considerate, and selfless friend, than she had ever been able to bring herself to do to any other human being.
For a while, after they had turned and begun pacing together under the now yellowing plane trees, neither of them spoke. Then Oliver said abruptly52, "So all our schemes have vanished into air—I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too," she said. "I always knew that Godfrey would never allow me to go away with Gillie, but I never, never thought that even he could behave as he did to my brother the other day——"
There was a sound of suppressed passion and revolt in her voice that he had never heard there before. It touched a chord in his own heart, but all he said, slowly, was, "I suppose Gillie irritated him."
"No, I don't think so. There wasn't time for Gillie to do anything, for Godfrey at once refused to shake hands with him. That's how it began."
[Pg 153] "Gillie ought to have written first. My mother begged him not to take Godfrey by surprise——"
"Your mother is always right," she said in a low voice. "I've never known her wrong yet, though her advice isn't always easy to follow, Oliver."
"I'm afraid she was right this time, anyhow."
"I know she was."
There fell between them a long, pregnant silence. And then Oliver said, in a low, moved voice, "I'm afraid that this last business has made you very unhappy, Laura?"
She answered, "Yes—foolishly so. I ought not to have been surprised, for by this time I know Godfrey so well." And she believed herself to be speaking the truth.
"It's not his fault," she went on painfully, "that he has nothing in common with me and with my brother, different as we, too, are the one from the other. Gillie and I might have been born on different planets from Godfrey."
Laura had not meant to speak of Godfrey to Oliver. Indeed, she had formed the resolution never to do so again. But somehow, to-day, she felt as if she might break that salutary rule.
His next words seemed to prove to her that she could trust him to understand, for, "Yes," he said quietly, "you're right there, Laura. You and Godfrey have nothing in common between you, and that being so, I suppose there's nothing to be done?"
"No, there's nothing to be done," she repeated hopelessly. And then once more she broke her wise resolution: "If it hadn't been for Alice, I should, even now, be tempted53 to do what I so nearly did at the [Pg 154] time that Godfrey and Gillie"—she hesitated—"had their first misunderstanding."
"What you nearly did then, Laura?" There came an eager, questioning thrill in her companion's strained voice.
"Yes—" Why shouldn't she unburden her heart for once? "Yes, at the time of that first quarrel between my brother and my husband, I nearly left Godfrey. But for your mother, I should have done so. Alice was a tiny baby then, and I didn't realise, as I realise now, what an awful responsibility a woman takes on herself in breaking up a child's happy home. Only your mother stopped my doing it, and the fact"—she looked at him with a soundless depth of sadness in her face—"the fact that Gillie didn't really want me to go and live with him. Of course it was long before the question of his going to Mexico was raised."
"And have you never regretted that you did not carry out that purpose?"
Oliver Tropenell was looking straight before him as he asked the dangerous question. They were walking, slowly, slowly, along the broad path which runs just within the railings along the park side of Piccadilly. Between twelve and one on an autumn Sunday morning this path is generally deserted54.
She did not answer at once, and he said quickly, "Forgive me! I ought not to have asked you that."
"Yes," she said again, "you can ask me anything you like, Oliver. But it's very difficult to answer such a question truthfully."
And again there fell between them one of those [Pg 155] long silences which played a curious part in a conversation neither ever forgot.
At last Laura did answer Oliver's dangerous question. "I have always known in my heart that your mother was right in making me do what she did—I mean in persuading me that for my little girl's sake I must go on. Alice loves her father, though I think, perhaps foolishly, that of the two she cares for me best——"
"Of course she does!" he exclaimed.
"But whether that be so or not, I know what a terrible thing it would have been for Alice if Godfrey and I had lived apart. I've never doubted that—I don't doubt it now. But for that I could not go on—after what happened the other day."
"Then if, as is of course possible, you and I don't meet again for years and years, am I to think of you as always going on in exactly the same way?" he asked.
Some cruel devil outside himself had seemed to force him to utter the hopeless question which he had already made up his mind should be, must be, answered by Fate in the negative.
They had stopped their slow pacing side by side, and he was now looking down into her sad, desolate55 eyes. He saw the word—the one word "Yes," form itself on her quivering lips.
"Do you really mean that, Laura? Answer me truly."
And then suddenly there came over Laura Pavely an extraordinary sensation. It was as if this man, whose burning eyes were fixed56 on her face, were willing her to say aloud something which, however true, [Pg 156] were better left unsaid. "There will never come any change," she answered, feeling as if the words were being forced out of her, "till, as the Marriage Service says, 'death us do part.'"
"Do you ever think of that possibility?"
He put the probing question in a singularly detached, almost a light, tone of inquiry57.
But she answered very solemnly, again as if impelled58 to tell him the truth—a truth she had never thought to tell to any human being:
"There was a time before Alice was born when I was so unhappy, largely, as I can see now, through my own fault, when I felt I could not bear it any longer, and——" Her voice dropped, and he bent59 down so that he might catch the almost whispered words, "I was strongly tempted to—to kill myself," she said. "I used to go and walk up and down that little path across the head of the lake, and plan out how I would do it. Even now I do not think that any one, except perhaps your mother, would ever have suspected. It would have been so easy to make it appear an absolute accident."
He remained silent, and she went on, more composedly:
"I had got into a selfish, morbid60 state, Oliver, and yet the temptation was not wholly selfish, for I knew that Godfrey was miserable61 too, and my sense told me that if anything happened to me he would very soon marry again—some woman who would appreciate his good qualities, who would be happy with him, who would not be, as I knew I was, a bitter disappointment."
Once more her voice had become nearly inaudible, [Pg 157] and once more Oliver bent his dark, convulsed face down to hear what she said.
Tears were rolling down Laura's face. But suddenly she made an immense effort over herself, and went on, calmly:
"It was your mother who helped me over that bad, foolish time. I don't know what I should have done but for Aunt Letty. I think she's the only person in the world to whom Godfrey ever listens—who can ever make any impression on him. It's strange in a way, for I know she doesn't really like either of us."
As he uttered a violent expression of dissent62, she went on: "It's quite true, Oliver, and what is more, of the two she likes Godfrey the best. Why shouldn't she? She thinks I've behaved very unkindly to Godfrey. The only excuse she can make for me—she told me so once, long ago—is that I'm inhuman63. I suppose in a way I am inhuman?" She looked at him plaintively64, a strange, piteous expression in her beautiful, shadowed eyes.
And Oliver Tropenell caught his breath. God—how he loved her! Her inhumanity—to use that cruelly misleading term which she had just used herself—only made his passion burn with a purer, whiter flame. The one thing in the world that mattered to him now was this woman's deliverance from the awful death-in-life to which her sensitive conscience, and her moving love for her child, alone condemned65 her. Yes, Laura's deliverance was the only thing worth compassing—and that even if the deliverer were wrecked66, soul as well as body, body as well as soul, in the process.
[Pg 158] They began walking again, slowly, slowly, once more enwrapped in a silence which said so much more than words could have said, even to Laura's still numb67, unawakened heart.
It was she who at last broke the kind of spell which lay on them both. They had come almost to the end of the broad path. Opposite to where they were standing21, on the other side of the road, was a huge white and green building, handsome and showy, looking strangely un-English and out of place in the famous old London way.
"They pulled down such a wonderful, delightful68 house just there," she said regretfully. "I was once taken to it by my father, when I was quite a little girl. It was like going right back a hundred years—not only to another London, but to another England. It's a shame that any one should have been allowed to pull down such a bit of old London as that."
And Oliver agreed, absently.
So, talking of indifferent things, they walked back to the hotel where Mrs. Tropenell was awaiting them, and the three afterwards spent the rest of the day peacefully together. But the next day there began again for them all the same dreary round—that odd, artificial life of "having a good time," as Gillie jovially69 put it.
Somehow Laura did not mind it so much now as she had done before. Her talk with Oliver had shifted her burden a little, and made her feel as if he and she had gone back to their old, happy, simple friendship. It had also deadened her feeling of acute, unreasoning anger with Godfrey.
At last came the morning when Oliver and Gillie [Pg 159] were to go to Paris. And at the last moment, standing on the platform at Charing70 Cross, there took place a rather pathetic, ridiculous little scene.
Gillie had bought for his sister a beautiful old jewel, and he thrust it—with a merry little word as to this being the first really nice present he had ever given her—into her hand. When she opened the case and saw the emerald and pearl heart, her eyes brimmed over with tears.
Even Gillie was moved. "There, there!" he exclaimed. "Nothing to cry about—'Nuff said,' Laura. Perhaps we'll meet again sooner than you think, my friends the Americans say."
And she tried to smile.
Then Gillie turned to Mrs. Tropenell, speaking with much greater sincerity71 of feeling than he was wont72 to do. "I'll never forget your kindness—in the past and in the present—to my sister and to me, Mrs. Tropenell. I'm not such a careless brute73 as I seem to be—I never forget a kindness—or an injury. Now then, Oliver!"
Laura felt her hand seized, closed on in a vice-like pressure which hurt, then dropped. "Good-bye, Laura," said Oliver in an almost inaudible tone. "Good-bye, till we meet again."
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1
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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pretence
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| n.假装，作假；借口，口实；虚伪；虚饰 | |
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hypocrisy
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| n.伪善，虚伪 | |
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curiously
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| adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地 | |
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justify
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| vt.证明…正当(或有理)，为…辩护 | |
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passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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unreasonable
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| adj.不讲道理的，不合情理的，过度的 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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forgery
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| n.伪造的文件等，赝品，伪造（行为） | |
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abased
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| 使谦卑( abase的过去式和过去分词 )； 使感到羞耻； 使降低（地位、身份等）； 降下 | |
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imploring
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| 恳求的，哀求的 | |
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discredited
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| 不足信的，不名誉的 | |
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virtuous
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| adj.有品德的，善良的，贞洁的，有效力的 | |
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undertaking
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| n.保证，许诺，事业 | |
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manor
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| n.庄园，领地 | |
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dictated
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| v.大声讲或读( dictate的过去式和过去分词 )；口授；支配；摆布 | |
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anonymous
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| adj.无名的；匿名的；无特色的 | |
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straightforward
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| adj.正直的，坦率的；易懂的，简单的 | |
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specially
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| adv.特定地；特殊地；明确地 | |
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alluded
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| 提及，暗指( allude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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reconciliation
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| n.和解，和谐，一致 | |
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graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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perplexed
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| adj.不知所措的 | |
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shameful
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| adj.可耻的，不道德的 | |
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concealing
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，遮住( conceal的现在分词 ) | |
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stupor
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| v.昏迷；不省人事 | |
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leisurely
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| adj.悠闲的；从容的，慢慢的 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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allusive
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| adj.暗示的；引用典故的 | |
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junction
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| n.连接，接合；交叉点，接合处，枢纽站 | |
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irritation
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| n.激怒，恼怒，生气 | |
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extravagant
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| adj.奢侈的；过分的；(言行等)放肆的 | |
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unnaturally
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| adv.违反习俗地；不自然地；勉强地；不近人情地 | |
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monotonous
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| adj.单调的，一成不变的，使人厌倦的 | |
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dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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assorted
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| adj.各种各样的，各色俱备的 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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jovial
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| adj.快乐的，好交际的 | |
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scrupulous
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| adj.审慎的，小心翼翼的，完全的，纯粹的 | |
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feud
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| n.长期不和；世仇；v.长期争斗；世代结仇 | |
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apathy
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| n.漠不关心，无动于衷；冷淡 | |
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grumbling
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| adj. 喃喃鸣不平的, 出怨言的 | |
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fraught
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| adj.充满…的，伴有(危险等)的；忧虑的 | |
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oasis
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| n.（沙漠中的）绿洲，宜人的地方 | |
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arid
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| adj.干旱的；(土地)贫瘠的 | |
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solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
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albeit
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| conj.即使；纵使；虽然 | |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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54
deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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desolate
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| adj.荒凉的，荒芜的；孤独的，凄凉的；v.使荒芜，使孤寂 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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inquiry
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| n.打听，询问，调查，查问 | |
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impelled
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| v.推动、推进或敦促某人做某事( impel的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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morbid
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| adj.病的；致病的；病态的；可怕的 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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dissent
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| n./v.不同意，持异议 | |
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inhuman
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| adj.残忍的，不人道的，无人性的 | |
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plaintively
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| adv.悲哀地，哀怨地 | |
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condemned
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| adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词 | |
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wrecked
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| adj.失事的，遇难的 | |
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numb
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| adj.麻木的，失去感觉的；v.使麻木 | |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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jovially
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| adv.愉快地，高兴地 | |
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charing
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| n.炭化v.把…烧成炭，把…烧焦( char的现在分词 )；烧成炭，烧焦；做杂役女佣 | |
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71
sincerity
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| n.真诚，诚意；真实 | |
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72
wont
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| adj.习惯于；v.习惯；n.习惯 | |
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brute
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| n.野兽，兽性 | |
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