Know your own work, and do it.
This is a simple sounding rule, but we all find practical difficulties in following it. You have most of you lately left school, and I think the difficulty of the first part of this saying must have struck some of you. At school you knew your own work,—you had a certain time-table, you walked with the crutches1 of routine; and when you left school and found your day mostly at your own disposal, you learnt that a free life is far more difficult, and therefore far nobler, than a life under direction.
It was pleasant at first to be able to carry out your own fancies, but you awoke after a while to the fact that you were not spending holidays but living your real life; and then the thought must have come, if you had any stuff in you, "I must anyhow live my life; am I living it nobly?"
How can you live a noble life? Bacon gives us, perhaps, the best answer when he says that "the end of all learning should be the Glory of God and the Relief of Man's Estate." Shall this be the result of your school learning? Others can speak to you from experience, as I cannot, of the glory and happiness of a life spent in the Relief of Man's Estate: I would speak to you of a preliminary stage of work for that relief, of some of the difficulties which beset2 girls on first leaving school, and owing to which so much noble aspiration3 and unselfish enthusiasm run to waste.
I believe one of the main difficulties is friction4 at home; a difficulty on which I the rather dwell because it is harder, for those who know you personally, to speak of it without irritating you, or else criticizing your home. How is this home difficulty met? Some meet it by leaving home,—which reminds me of the minister who said in his sermon, "This is a serious difficulty in our belief, my brethren; let us look it boldly in the face,—and pass it by." Some lay themselves open to Punch's attack, when he depicts5 a girl saying, "Mamma has become quite blind now, and papa is paralytic6, and it makes the house so dull that I'm going to be a hospital nurse."
Many who are too clear-sighted to neglect home duties, yet leave this difficulty unfaced, in that they look for all the pleasure of their life outside home, and within that home allow themselves to live in an atmosphere of friction and peevishness7. The girl who does that has left the riddle8 of home life unsolved: she was meant to wrestle9 with that difficulty till she wrung10 from it the blessing11, the peace which comes only from self-conquest and acceptance of all the circumstances of her life.
Have any of you the lurking12 thought, "I was born by no choice of my own: those who brought me into the world owe duty to me, not I to them?" I have known some say this, and I have known many act as if they thought it, and I have known some who felt as if God had better work for them to do outside home, and have either gone off to do it, or have chafed13 against life because they could not go. It does seem to me that the present very general eclipse of the old Roman virtue14 of filial piety15 lies at the root of much of the unsound work, and of the undone16 work, of the present day.
Know your own work, and do it. What is your work on leaving school? Is it not to learn to fit into your home? At school, when you got your remove, your duty was to get into the work of the new form, and to do it. You have now been moved to higher and far more difficult work than any sixth form, you are in the school of home. Are you learning its lessons, or are you fretting18 for a remove? It may be you find life so easy and pleasant at home that you feel any talk of its difficulties does not apply to you; it is all play so far. But I know so many who feel this friction on leaving school, that I am sure it must be the case with some of you.
If any here fail to feel the debt they owe at home—the debt which God enforced as next to the debt owed to Himself—let me remind them that the whole instinct of mankind has responded to the appeal of parents; filial piety has always been reverenced19 and held beautiful, and the hereditary20 sense of mankind must be taken into account in deciding what is, or is not, a virtue. But supposing I granted, for the sake of argument, that the original debt was on your parents' side and not on yours, what then? You remain as bound as ever to show them submission21 and devotion; all, in short, that the old-fashioned believers in the Fifth Commandment thought to be due from a daughter. If you are striving after a noble life you must give all this,—if you owe allegiance to either the Christian22 ideal of love or to the Pagan one of strength. "If a man love not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God Whom he hath not seen?" and, equally, if he love not his brother close at hand, how can he love brethren afar off? It is a poor sort of love which lavishes23 itself on self-chosen and, therefore, less irritating objects of charity, and is powerless to influence the home atmosphere. It is a poor sort of strength which shrinks from the hardest fight, from the conquest of self at home.
Is not every right and wise piece of good work for others an attempt to help them to train themselves to live a higher life? And can we dare to put our hand to this plough while neglecting our own training?
I was asked to speak to you about WORK, and you may think I am forgetting this in dwelling24 on home life. Not at all; I am looking on home life not as an end in itself, but as God's great training-school for His best workers; as the special place for the development of those qualities which are essential to all true and lasting25 work for "the Relief of Man's Estate."
I do not think I underrate the difficulties girls find; quite apart from her own faults and weaknesses, a girl who leaves school and goes home has probably three difficulties to contend with.
First, the change from restraint to liberty, which is a difficult phase in every life. Will you make it a change from "the rich bounties26 of constraint27" to self-restraint, which is better still; or will you let it be a change to the weak lawlessness of a drifting life? If you would respect yourselves, and be worthy28 to take part in the great battle between good and evil, make and keep some rules for yourselves. Have a rule about getting up in the morning and (almost equally important) about going to bed at night; a rule against novels in the morning; a rule to read something sensible every day. Make what rule you please, only keep it, or you will never be more than a cumberer of the ground. Reading is the best thing to save your life from being eaten away by trifles. The best advisers29 say to a man taking a country living, "Read, read, read;" I say to you, read doggedly31; the snare32 of a free life is desultory33 reading. Make any plan of stiff reading you like, and stick to it for one year, writing out notes of what you read, and you will be fitter for real work if it comes, as come it will.
I dare say you find reading is cold work,—very few women really enjoy knowledge for its own sake,—you are tempted34 to throw it up, and to drift in an easy good-tempered way, which pleases the others much more than your shutting yourself up to read. And the others are quite right in expecting you, now school is over, to be a woman, "with a heart at leisure from itself" and from self-improvement. One of the hardest home lessons for some girls to learn is the power of sitting idle and chatting. They feel it waste of time; they long to be doing something tangible35; and yet a home atmosphere is mainly the result of the mother having acquired the art of leisure. You will be very unrestful house-mothers when your turn comes, and very unsatisfactory daughters and sisters in the mean time, if you are always at high pressure, and giving your family to understand that you must not be spoken to!
Too often the girl, who by dint36 of conscientious37 struggles keeps up real study, gets out of touch with her surroundings, and sees the stream of family confidences, and affections, and appeals for help and sympathy flowing towards the easy-going sister, who makes no struggles of any kind. Your great wish is to be a true woman, "with continual comfort in her face." Are your books, and your self-discipline, and your time-table, only a hindrance38 to this? Must you starve either head or heart? Why cannot you seem outwardly at leisure, and yet live an inner life of thought and work? It needs self-denial, forethought, economy of time, and that most Christian grace of tact39; but these are all attainable40, all part of that Wisdom which "orders all things sweetly and strongly," and which is the rightful heritage of every true woman. Let no delusion41 about amiability42 induce you to leave off reading and study, only be very discreet43 as to how and when you do it.
Let your time-table be a secret hair shirt, and not a red rag flaunted44 in your family's face. But never give up reading and thinking, the keeping in touch with abstract ideas. As long as you are young you can get on without this, but, when the charm of youth deserts you, you will find life (and others will find you) a blessing or a curse, according as you have developed or starved your powers of mind. It may be that you find little pleasure in your steady reading, and see no immediate45 results from it; never mind, read on, lest you become in middle life one of those amiable46, empty-headed women who can give neither help, nor comfort, nor advice, worth the taking. How many old maids, and young maids too, tied by home duties, allowed their minds to get thin and empty: when, at last, they were set free they were silly and inconsequent; no work requiring thought and insight could be entrusted47 to them.
The second difficulty which is felt by many comes from the new lights of the day. At school, girls come in contact with varied48 ideals and inspirations,—they drink new wine, and they go home to find that old bottles are still used there. Very often this difficulty is greater in proportion as a girl has rightly profited by school—in proportion as she has been teachable and ready to assimilate good; she goes home with new aspirations49 to be met by old prejudices—prejudices intensified50 by half-loving jealousy51 of the alien influences of school. Are you to shut your eyes to the new lights, and be as though you had never known them? No, but do not keep one Commandment by breaking another. The First Commandment is supreme52, Thou shall have none other gods but Him Who is the Truth; Truth must be obeyed at all costs, but if your truth-seeking breaks the Fifth Commandment, it probably breaks the Second also, and the principle you are obeying will turn out to be a graven image of God, and not the voice of God Himself. Very grave doubt rests on any form of goodness which is in opposition53 to your mother; it may be good for others, but can scarcely be so for you. I know of a girl who got under High Church influence at school, and who, in pursuit of spiritual good, gets surreptitious High Church books and newspapers, under cover to a friend. Another got under Low Church influence, and refuses to please her mother by dressing54 prettily55 or going out. It seems to me that both girls read their lesson backwards56 and neglect the weightier matters of the law, truth, and obedience57,—while they seek what is good in itself but not good for them. Others persist in going to a church their mother disapproves58 of,—they say they can get good at a musical church, and only irritation59 and harm by going with her. I feel heartily60 for the trial of going to a church they dislike, but surely conquering self or pleasing a mother is good in itself, quite apart from the help given by the service; while, as to the good derived61 from the musical church under those circumstances, I doubt much if it comes down from the Father Who gave us the Fifth Commandment.
I should say, mistrust new lights which are a hindrance to old duties, "For meek62 obedience too is Light." It is more likely that we should be mistaken, than that a duty should cease to be binding63. Let us take to heart Cromwell's appeal to his Parliament, "I beseech64 you, my beloved brethren, I beseech you by the mercies of Christ, to believe that you may be mistaken."
The third difficulty is that girls often fail to see that home life is one of the "Home Arts," which requires training and practice as much as music does. How much of our home life is set to music? How much of it sets all harmony and rhythm at defiance65? A true woman is
"Like the keystone to an arch
That consummates66 all beauty:
She's like the music to a march
That sheds a joy on duty."
Do you make your father forget his bothers when he comes in from his business? Do you give your mother a share in your interests? Does your brother look forward to his time at home, instead of thinking it a bore? No one has such power over your brothers as you have: you can do more than any one to give them high ideals: how many a brother, who has fallen to the stable-yard level of company, might have been held up if his sister had used her wits and tact to make herself as agreeable to him as she does to other people!
Sometimes it is not selfishness which makes home life a failure, but the not having
"among least things,
An undersense of greatest."
A girl tries to live nobly at home and fails: she is not enough wanted, her mother is not blind, and does not want to be deposed67 from housekeeping; her father is not paralytic, and only wants her to play to him in the evening; life seems choked by tiny interruptions, such as doing the flowers, or writing notes, and she sinks into a placid68 or unplacid drudge—the aspirations with which she left school have died out.
Need this be? If she went into a sisterhood or a hospital, the tiny details would all be glorified69 by the halo which surrounds a vocation70; it would all be part of a saintly life. Why is home not felt to be a vocation? Why cannot a girl welcome some tiresome71 commission or fidgeting rule of her mother's, as much as if it were imposed by some Mother Superior? Ought not the trifling72 duties to be fuel to her burning desire for her nobleness of life, instead of dust to choke it? You can make them which you will.
Girls often say, "I have nothing to do, worth doing, at home; I want to go and do some real work;" and they sometimes have the face to say this, while they are still as full of faults as when they left school, and when every hour of the day, at home, brings with it an opportunity of conquering some fault.
Are you ready for real work? Can you take criticism or contradiction with a perfectly73 unruffled face and voice? Do you overcome your hindrances74 to usefulness at home, e.g. do you improve your handwriting so that your mother need not be ashamed to let you write for her? Do you help her tactfully and consentingly—the only help which rests people—or do you argue each point, so that it is far less trouble to do the thing twice over than to ask you? Are you prompt and alert in your movements, or do you indulge in that exasperating75 slowness, which some girls seem to consider quite a charm? Do you wait till the last minute, and then leisurely76 put on your things, with serene77 unconsciousness of the fret17 it is to every one's temper? If you want to see how unthoroughbred such a habit looks, read "Shirley," and study the character of Mr. Donne, the curate, who flatters himself that he enhances his importance by keeping the others waiting while he complacently78 finishes his tea.
Do you lay down the law. Do you allow yourself the tone of positive, almost dictatorial79, assertion, which, coming from a girl, so sets an old-fashioned person's teeth on edge; or do you try to speak in the tentative, suggestive, inquiring tone, which is not only required by good manners, but is also a real help to humility80 of mind?
Do not say that these things are too simple and obvious to bear on your future work for the Relief of Man's Estate,—on Work with a big W. They are of the very essence of the formation of character, and your Work for others stands or falls by that.
The sanctifying influence of home-life lies mainly in its necessity, its obviousness,—in the fact of our remaining unprofitable servants after we have done our best. It is the school in which we are placed by God; we are bound to learn its lessons, and do its duties: there is no halo of self-sacrifice around it—the position rightly viewed gives us no choice. "I must,"—there is the sting, the irksomeness to us. We can submit cheerfully to our self-chosen Pope, and seem most sweet-tempered in bearing criticism and in doing tiresome duties,—the "I must" is not there. This wilful81 obedience is worth just nothing as discipline of character, compared with obedience to our lawful82 authorities; "Ay, there's the rub!"
Is not this very necessity in home life—this "I must"—just the thing which makes it akin30 to our Lord's life? Is there not in that Holiest Life a continual undercurrent of "I must"? His earthly life was a course of obedience, not a succession of self-willed efforts; its keynote was, "Wist ye not that I must be about My Father's business?"
点击
收听单词发音
收听单词发音 |
1
crutches
|
|
| n.拐杖, 支柱 v.支撑 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
2
beset
|
|
| v.镶嵌；困扰，包围 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
3
aspiration
|
|
| n.志向，志趣抱负；渴望；(语)送气音；吸出 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
4
friction
|
|
| n.摩擦，摩擦力 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
5
depicts
|
|
| 描绘，描画( depict的第三人称单数 )； 描述 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
6
paralytic
|
|
| adj. 瘫痪的 n. 瘫痪病人 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
7
peevishness
|
|
| 脾气不好；爱发牢骚 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
8
riddle
|
|
| n.谜，谜语，粗筛；vt.解谜，给…出谜，筛，检查，鉴定，非难，充满于；vi.出谜 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
9
wrestle
|
|
| vi.摔跤，角力；搏斗；全力对付 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
10
wrung
|
|
| 绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 )； 握紧（尤指别人的手）； 把（湿衣服）拧干； 绞掉（水） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
11
blessing
|
|
| n.祈神赐福；祷告；祝福，祝愿 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
12
lurking
|
|
| 潜在 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
13
chafed
|
|
| v.擦热（尤指皮肤）( chafe的过去式 )；擦痛；发怒；惹怒 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
14
virtue
|
|
| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
15
piety
|
|
| n.虔诚，虔敬 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
16
undone
|
|
| a.未做完的，未完成的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
17
fret
|
|
| v.(使)烦恼；(使)焦急；(使)腐蚀，(使)磨损 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
18
fretting
|
|
| n. 微振磨损 adj. 烦躁的, 焦虑的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
19
reverenced
|
|
| v.尊敬，崇敬( reverence的过去式和过去分词 )；敬礼 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
20
hereditary
|
|
| adj.遗传的，遗传性的，可继承的，世袭的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
21
submission
|
|
| n.服从，投降；温顺，谦虚；提出 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
22
Christian
|
|
| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
23
lavishes
|
|
| v.过分给予，滥施( lavish的第三人称单数 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
24
dwelling
|
|
| n.住宅，住所，寓所 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
25
lasting
|
|
| adj.永久的，永恒的；vbl.持续，维持 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
26
bounties
|
|
| （由政府提供的）奖金( bounty的名词复数 )； 赏金； 慷慨； 大方 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
27
constraint
|
|
| n.(on)约束，限制；限制(或约束)性的事物 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
28
worthy
|
|
| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
29
advisers
|
|
| 顾问，劝告者( adviser的名词复数 )； （指导大学新生学科问题等的）指导教授 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
30
akin
|
|
| adj.同族的，类似的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
31
doggedly
|
|
| adv.顽强地，固执地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
32
snare
|
|
| n.陷阱，诱惑，圈套；（去除息肉或者肿瘤的）勒除器；响弦，小军鼓；vt.以陷阱捕获，诱惑 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
33
desultory
|
|
| adj.散漫的，无方法的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
34
tempted
|
|
| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
35
tangible
|
|
| adj.有形的，可触摸的，确凿的，实际的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
36
dint
|
|
| n.由于，靠；凹坑 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
37
conscientious
|
|
| adj.审慎正直的，认真的，本着良心的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
38
hindrance
|
|
| n.妨碍，障碍 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
39
tact
|
|
| n.机敏，圆滑，得体 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
40
attainable
|
|
| a.可达到的，可获得的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
41
delusion
|
|
| n.谬见，欺骗，幻觉，迷惑 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
42
amiability
|
|
| n.和蔼可亲的，亲切的，友善的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
43
discreet
|
|
| adj.(言行)谨慎的；慎重的；有判断力的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
44
flaunted
|
|
| v.炫耀，夸耀( flaunt的过去式和过去分词 )；有什么能耐就施展出来 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
45
immediate
|
|
| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
46
amiable
|
|
| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
47
entrusted
|
|
| v.委托，托付( entrust的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
48
varied
|
|
| adj.多样的，多变化的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
49
aspirations
|
|
| 强烈的愿望( aspiration的名词复数 )； 志向； 发送气音； 发 h 音 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
50
intensified
|
|
| v.（使）增强， （使）加剧( intensify的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
51
jealousy
|
|
| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
52
supreme
|
|
| adj.极度的，最重要的；至高的，最高的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
53
opposition
|
|
| n.反对，敌对 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
54
dressing
|
|
| n.(食物)调料；包扎伤口的用品，敷料 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
55
prettily
|
|
| adv.优美地；可爱地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
56
backwards
|
|
| adv.往回地，向原处，倒，相反，前后倒置地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
57
obedience
|
|
| n.服从，顺从 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
58
disapproves
|
|
| v.不赞成( disapprove的第三人称单数 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
59
irritation
|
|
| n.激怒，恼怒，生气 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
60
heartily
|
|
| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
61
derived
|
|
| vi.起源；由来；衍生；导出v.得到( derive的过去式和过去分词 )；（从…中）得到获得；源于；（从…中）提取 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
62
meek
|
|
| adj.温顺的，逆来顺受的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
63
binding
|
|
| 有约束力的，有效的，应遵守的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
64
beseech
|
|
| v.祈求，恳求 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
65
defiance
|
|
| n.挑战，挑衅，蔑视，违抗 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
66
consummates
|
|
| n.使结束( consummate的名词复数 )；使完美；完婚；（婚礼后的）圆房v.使结束( consummate的第三人称单数 )；使完美；完婚；（婚礼后的）圆房 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
67
deposed
|
|
| v.罢免( depose的过去式和过去分词 )；（在法庭上）宣誓作证 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
68
placid
|
|
| adj.安静的，平和的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
69
glorified
|
|
| 美其名的，变荣耀的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
70
vocation
|
|
| n.职业，行业 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
71
tiresome
|
|
| adj.令人疲劳的，令人厌倦的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
72
trifling
|
|
| adj.微不足道的；没什么价值的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
73
perfectly
|
|
| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
74
hindrances
|
|
| 阻碍者( hindrance的名词复数 )； 障碍物； 受到妨碍的状态 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
75
exasperating
|
|
| adj. 激怒的 动词exasperate的现在分词形式 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
76
leisurely
|
|
| adj.悠闲的；从容的，慢慢的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
77
serene
|
|
| adj. 安详的，宁静的，平静的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
78
complacently
|
|
| adv. 满足地, 自满地, 沾沾自喜地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
79
dictatorial
|
|
| adj. 独裁的，专断的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
80
humility
|
|
| n.谦逊，谦恭 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
81
wilful
|
|
| adj.任性的，故意的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
82
lawful
|
|
| adj.法律许可的，守法的，合法的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
| 欢迎访问英文小说网 |