When she had awakened1 from the death-like swoon in which she had sunken at the feet of Caiaphas, to find herself alone, she scarce knew at first what had befallen her. But memory, too faithful, repeated to her shrinking soul the words which had struck at the very fountain of life; she turned them over dully in her mind, "As I would cut off my right hand, should it become polluted beyond cleansing2, so also will I sever3 thee from my life."
"How can that be," she thought, staring at the light branches of a rose tree that swayed from the trellis above her head; the sun struck vivid sparks of emerald fire from its translucent4 leaves, the breeze shook a full-blown blossom, and a handful of the odorous petals5 fell upon her face. She inhaled6 their fragrance7 as in a dream of pain.
"So I will sever thee from my life," she repeated, looking at the shattered rose. "Ah, it can never bloom again!"
And with the thought came a sudden frightful8 realization9 of what had happened. She sprang up and looked wildly about her. "I must find him! It cannot, cannot be!" Then she sank feebly upon her knees beside the bench, and buried her face in her hands.
Is it for naught10 that misery11 instinctively12 assumes this attitude? Nay13, rather, it is a divine impulse of the suffering soul, a blind and voiceless feeling after a hand in the darkness. And the hand is always there.
To Anna thus bowed there came at length the thought of God, of Jesus, the all-Comforter; of Stephen, his dark eyes full of loving light; of Mary, the mother of Jesus, like herself, desolate14. And presently, though she scarce knew why, she grew quite calm and strong. She arose. "I will go," she said aloud, "to them; they will tell me what I must do."
And so it was that she came to the house of John, the beloved disciple15, where abode16 Mary, whom the dying Lord had given into his keeping, and with them Peter, and Andrew his brother, also Stephen.
"I am desolate," she said humbly17, "for my husband hath cast me off, because I believe that the crucified Jesus is the Messiah of Israel."
"Then art thou welcome here," said the master of the house, gravely. But Mary fell on her neck and kissed her, and she wept with her, because she knew that tears are healing, if only they be wiped away by the hand of God.
And so, after many days, there came to her peace; nay, more, there came joy. Involuntarily songs broke from her lips, lips for many years silent; she smiled often even when alone, for a strange delight filled her soul, her deep eyes shone like stars.
Stephen saw the change in her and he rejoiced.
"The Lord is with thee, mother of my Titus," he said, tenderly.
"I scarce know why I am so happy," she replied. "Is it meet that I should rejoice when my son is dead, and when I am more desolate than a widow?"
"It is the gift of him who sitteth at the right hand of the Father," said Stephen. "Did he not say, 'Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you. Not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.' And this good word of peace he left with his chosen ones on the very night before his death. The world cannot give peace in the midst of sorrow, but he can, and he hath given it unto thee, beloved. And thou dost rejoice, and thy joy shall no one take from thee."
"But my husband?" said Anna eagerly.
"Ask the Lord that it may be granted unto him to see the truth. I will also ask, then shall it be done for us according to his promise which cannot fail."
"And he will again love me?"
"Love is the fulfilling of the law," said Stephen, smiling. "He will again love thee, and the love that he hath had is as nothing to that God will give him, for God is love, and he is also the all-giver. All love is from God, and without it would the world fall from its place in the heavens into the darkness which is outside of love--if indeed there be any place where the light of God doth not penetrate18." He paused, and looked thoughtfully away into the sunset, as if he would pierce with his longing19 gaze beyond the gold and the crimson20 to that place where dwelt the risen Lord.
The days went swiftly in this new life, for none were idle. Indeed, there was never a company of folk since the world began into whose lives crowded more of service, of love, of joy. The sick, the unhappy, the poor from all the city and the country round about came for healing, cheering, help; nor was any turned away. The disciples21 were ever mindful of the word of their Lord, "Freely ye have received, freely give." They remembered also with awe22 how he had washed their feet on that last night before he was betrayed. So there was no service too lowly, no labor23 too arduous24 for them to undertake in the strength of their new joy.
"Did he not say unto us," said Peter, his face glowing with divine enthusiasm, "'As the Father hath sent me into the world, even so send I you?'"
To be a Christian25 in these days meant simply to live as Christ had lived. And so the women were busy from dawn until evening in fashioning garments for them that had none; in preparing the simple food, which they ate from house to house with gladness and singleness of heart, every meal a memorial feast of him who had gone to prepare a place for them in the heavens. And the men, in proclaiming the amazing tidings of salvation26 from sin in a world given over to sin, of joy in a world wherein was weeping and pain and woe27, of peace in the midst of strife28, of a great light that had shined in the darkness. It was so real, so wonderful, so new. They had not read of these things in an ancient book. They had not heard them with cold dead ears 'as a tale that is told,' but they had seen the Lord living and walking among them; they had seen him upon the cross; they had seen him in the tomb dead--his hands and feet torn with the cruel nails. And they had also seen him alive again and received into the glories of a visible heaven. Upon their heads had the pentecostal flames rested, and they beheld29 their mortal bodies endowed with divine powers. Little wonder then that they rejoiced, little wonder that a holy fear came upon every soul and that they had favor with all the people. Yet for our comfort is it written that the Lord once said unto Thomas, "Because thou hast seen me thou hast believed; blessed are they that have not seen and yet have believed."
Now because very many that were poor came to the disciples to be fed, and because the apostles had now no time for fishing, being made fishers of men as the Lord had promised, and for the reason that then as now no one can live in the world without money, they asked of the Lord concerning this thing, as indeed they still asked about all things just as when he was on the earth. And it became very clear to them what they must do. And they did it in all simplicity30 and singleness of heart. They that had lands or houses sold them, and brought the price of the things that were sold and laid them down at the apostles' feet, and distribution was made unto every man according as he had need, so that there should no longer be among them any that was rich, for had not the Lord said to the young ruler, "Go sell what thou hast and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven," and also, "How hardly shall they that have riches enter into the kingdom of God." And because they thought much about heaven in those days and because they longed to enter into the kingdom, it was not hard for some of the rich to do this. Their possessions were as nothing to them compared with the riches which God was giving so freely.
"He is the same yesterday, to-day and forever." And alas31! humanity is the same yesterday and to-day, but thank God for the to-morrow, which shall also be forever, when we shall be like him!
There was in Jerusalem a certain man named Ananias, and he was married to a woman called Sapphira. They had heard the preaching of Peter and they believed, and came and joined themselves to the church. They were rich people and owned land outside the city. Now when others who had possessions sold them and brought the money to lay at the apostles' feet, they were ill pleased.
"Why should this be?" said Ananias to his wife. "If we give a tithe32 of what is ours is not that all that the law demands?"
"It is unjust," declared Sapphira, "we also shall be beggars if we do this thing, besides it hath been told me that the scribes and elders have the intent to crush these apostles as well as all that believe; for myself I have no mind to be stoned."
"Let us withdraw then."
"Nay, not so, for God is with these men as also thou hast seen," said Sapphira. "And if the Master presently come back from heaven--as indeed they all expect--he will establish a kingdom here in Jerusalem, and it must not chance that we be found on the wrong side when that shall come to pass."
"They do not demand that we sell our lands," said Ananias, knitting his brows thoughtfully. "Let us be prudent33 and reserve our possessions till we shall see what is going to befall."
"Only this morning Joses brought money and laid it down at the apostles' feet," said Sapphira. "He hath sold every cubit of his farm in the hill country. They know that we also have lands," she added fretfully, "and they expect that we will do the same. There are already five thousand persons in the church, and very few among them own earth enough to be buried in."
"It is a hard case," whined34 Ananias, "if honest, industrious35 folk must give up all that they have to beggars. They will devour36 it up like grasshoppers37; as for us who have given it, what shall we have for a time of adversity, or for our old age?"
"What indeed?" echoed his wife. "But we must do something or we shall be talked about. What if--" and she lowered her voice to a whisper--"we sell the land, and also freely tell of the matter, but of the price that is received we will give a part only, the remainder we will bestow38 in safety till we shall ourselves have need of it."
"Thou art a prudent woman!" cried her husband. "I know a man who will give me a good price for the land."
"Go then and sell, but let no one know of the amount which thou receivest. That shall be secret betwixt the two of us. The man Peter shall suppose that we have given all, even as did Joses."
So Ananias went and sold the land and he received for it a goodly sum. Which the two took secretly and buried in the earth, keeping out a part only; this the woman laid in her lap.
"It is a great sum," she said, looking regretfully at the pieces of silver. "With it we might buy fine raiment for ourselves; or I might put them upon a string for my neck, I have no necklace."
"Spoken like a woman, and therefore foolishly," said Ananias, lifting a handful of the coins and letting them slip through his fingers one by one. "For my part I should buy a vineyard. One could then have an abundance of wine."
"Neither of these things can be," said Sapphira with a sigh. "We must give it, else when the Messiah shall come, the man Peter will say, 'These people having land sold it, but gave no part to us;' then the Messiah will give us neither place nor power."
"Suppose he comes not?" said the man doggedly39.
"We shall at least stand well with the apostles and the rest. They be all prating40 of the generosity41 of Joses to-day. 'Such a man! So holy!' they cry. To-morrow they shall speak of us also; what we shall give will be much more than his paltry42 bit of silver." And the woman tossed her head.
"Well, I will give it."
"But do not let them know about the other," whispered Sapphira.
"Thou mayest trust me for that!" said the man with a harsh laugh.
On the morrow, when all were gathered together according to their custom, came Ananias bringing the money--Sapphira remaining at home to guard the buried treasure; and he laid down the silver at the feet of Peter, saying, "I have sold my lands for the service of the Lord, and here is all the price of them."
And the people looked at the money which he had laid down, and they marvelled43 at his generosity, saying one to another, "Joses truly was righteous, but this man hath brought a greater sum than he."
But Peter fixed44 his inspired eyes upon the giver. He read his soul. And he said to him: "Ananias, why hath Satan filled thine heart to lie to the Holy Spirit, and keep back part of the price of the land? Whilst it remained was it not thine own? And after it was sold, was it not in thine own power? Why hast thou conceived this thing in thine heart? Thou hast not lied unto men, but unto God."
And when Ananias heard these words, it was as though the light of God had been flashed into his soul. A fierce agony fell upon him. He saw clearly what he was, and what God was; and because this may not be endured by a mortal, he fell down at the feet of the apostle dead. He had passed into the presence of that Love which is also a consuming fire.
And the young men arose, wound up his body in grave clothes, and carried it away. And it was about the space of three hours after when his wife, not knowing what was done, came in. And Peter said to her, "Tell me whether ye sold the land for fifty shekels?"
And she said, "Yes, for fifty shekels."
Then Peter said unto her, "How is it that ye have agreed together to tempt45 the Spirit of the Lord? Behold46! the feet of them which buried thy husband are at the door, and shall carry thee out."
Then fell she down straightway at his feet and expired, and the young men came in and found her dead, and carrying her forth47, buried her by her husband. And great fear came upon all the church, and upon as many as heard these things.
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1
awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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2
cleansing
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| n. 净化(垃圾) adj. 清洁用的 动词cleanse的现在分词 | |
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3
sever
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| v.切开，割开；断绝，中断 | |
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4
translucent
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| adj.半透明的；透明的 | |
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5
petals
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| n.花瓣( petal的名词复数 ) | |
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6
inhaled
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| v.吸入( inhale的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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7
fragrance
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| n.芬芳，香味，香气 | |
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8
frightful
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| adj.可怕的；讨厌的 | |
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9
realization
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| n.实现；认识到，深刻了解 | |
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10
naught
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| n.无，零 [=nought] | |
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11
misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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12
instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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13
nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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14
desolate
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| adj.荒凉的，荒芜的；孤独的，凄凉的；v.使荒芜，使孤寂 | |
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15
disciple
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| n.信徒，门徒，追随者 | |
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16
abode
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| n.住处，住所 | |
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17
humbly
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| adv. 恭顺地，谦卑地 | |
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18
penetrate
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| v.透(渗)入；刺入，刺穿；洞察，了解 | |
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19
longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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20
crimson
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| n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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21
disciples
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| n.信徒( disciple的名词复数 )；门徒；耶稣的信徒；（尤指）耶稣十二门徒之一 | |
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22
awe
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| n.敬畏，惊惧；vt.使敬畏，使惊惧 | |
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23
labor
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| n.劳动，努力，工作，劳工；分娩；vi.劳动，努力，苦干；vt.详细分析；麻烦 | |
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24
arduous
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| adj.艰苦的，费力的，陡峭的 | |
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25
Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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26
salvation
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| n.（尤指基督）救世，超度，拯救，解困 | |
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27
woe
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| n.悲哀，苦痛，不幸，困难；int.用来表达悲伤或惊慌 | |
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28
strife
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| n.争吵，冲突，倾轧，竞争 | |
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29
beheld
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| v.看，注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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30
simplicity
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| n.简单，简易；朴素；直率，单纯 | |
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31
alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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32
tithe
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| n.十分之一税；v.课什一税，缴什一税 | |
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33
prudent
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| adj.谨慎的，有远见的，精打细算的 | |
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34
whined
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| v.哀号( whine的过去式和过去分词 )；哀诉，诉怨 | |
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35
industrious
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| adj.勤劳的，刻苦的，奋发的 | |
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36
devour
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| v.吞没；贪婪地注视或谛听，贪读；使着迷 | |
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37
grasshoppers
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| n.蚱蜢( grasshopper的名词复数 )；蝗虫；蚂蚱；（孩子）矮小的 | |
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38
bestow
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| v.把…赠与，把…授予；花费 | |
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39
doggedly
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| adv.顽强地，固执地 | |
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40
prating
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| v.（古时用语）唠叨，啰唆( prate的现在分词 ) | |
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41
generosity
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| n.大度，慷慨，慷慨的行为 | |
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42
paltry
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| adj.无价值的，微不足道的 | |
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43
marvelled
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| v.惊奇，对…感到惊奇( marvel的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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44
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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45
tempt
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| vt.引诱，勾引，吸引，引起…的兴趣 | |
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46
behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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47
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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