This notion is working fully1 as much mischief2 in morals and manners as Satan could do if he were part of Omnipotence3.
Divorce is popular with certain classes, because married life—not marriage—is sometimes a failure, but the fault is not with the institution, but the individual. When Mrs. Mona Caird’s low-toned essay, “Is Marriage a Failure?” was being talked of a few months ago, Rev4. David Swing, of Chicago, said the question should have been, “Is Good Sense a Failure?” Dr. Swing then struck at the root of the trouble by saying, “Ill comes not because men and women are married, but because they are fools.” Yet this is almost the only class for whom our divorce laws are made, and the more liberal the{261} laws, the more foolish the fools can afford to be.
Were divorce popular only for the sake of getting rid of undesirable5 partners it would be bad enough. Really it is a thousand times worse because its principal purpose is to help husband or wife to a new partner. This cause never is assigned in a petition for divorce; it doesn’t need to be; the community has learned to assume it, as a matter of course.
The case was well put a short time ago by Rabbi Silverman, at the great Temple Emanu-El, in New York, when he said, “The real cause for divorce is that there is nothing behind the civil contract that cements the marriage union and so welds it that nothing can tear it asunder6. The real cause for divorce is that the marriage was a failure because it was not a marriage in fact, but merely in name. It was not a union of hearts for mutual7 happiness, but merely a partnership8 for vain pleasure and profit.” So long as we allow divorce to be easy, do we not encourage such marriages?
Any divorce except for the one cause recognized by the founder9 of Christianity is more injurious to society at large than any other crime, murder not excepted. Most crimes may have a good reflex influence by persuading men to be more watchful10 of their own impulses and lives, but the men or women who obtain divorces for any but{262} the gravest cause are sure, aside from the effect upon themselves, to increase the discontent of acquaintances whose married life is not all that had been hoped or wished.
One condition absolutely necessary to a pure and happy married life is the belief from the beginning that wedlock11 is to last as long as life itself. Without the stimulus12 of this tremendous sense of responsibility no person will unmake and remake himself so as to be the fit companion of another. Even with this impulse the effort often fails, as all of us know from observation of our own acquaintances. To admit the possibility of a cessation of relations or, worse still, a change of marital13 relations, is to relax effort and to become a selfish time-server—to become a confidence man instead of a partner.
The effect of a divorce suit upon the plaintiff is something which does not require theorizing. It can be ascertained14 by personal observation in almost any American court which grants divorces, for such cases are becoming more and more frequent. Whether the plaintiff be man or woman, whether the cause be drunkenness, or desertion, or incompatibility15 of temper, or insanity16, or improvidence17, or any of the various causes for which divorces are granted in some States, the plaintiff or complainant, if closely watched from day to day during the proceedings18, will be seen, even by his dearest friends, to show marks of mental deterioration19.{263} To tear two lives apart is a serious thing at best. Two friends bound only by ordinary ties have seldom separated without bad effects being visible upon both. Where the friendship is of a nature that has affected20 every portion of the life of each, as must have been the case even with wedded21 couples who have married at haste and have not even begun to repent22 at leisure, the effect is so marked that a person seeking divorce almost always loses some of his adherents23, who previously24 had been his warmest friends, before the case is decided25. Where love was, hatred26 is excited though it may not even have existed in the first place. The contest upon points of fact, upon recollections of difficulties and differences, the depressing literalness and materialism27 of proof such as is demanded in courts, the entire materialism, heartlessness, callousness28, of all the proceedings, as they must be conducted under forms of law, are such as to debase any nature but the noblest—but noble natures do not seek divorce.
Bad as may be the condition of the complainant and the effect upon his own manner and conduct, it is not as deplorable as that visible upon the defendant29. To face any direct charge in a court of law before witness, even if these be only officers of the law who are supposed to be impartial30 and judicial31 in their opinions and actions, the violation32 of privacy in regard to interests and relations,{264} which above all others—except perhaps those of a human being toward his God—are sacred even to the rudest minds, cannot help have its effect upon any nature but the strongest. The life of the defendant in a divorce suit, unless the complaint is utterly33 groundless and unfair, is from the first likely to be blasted. The more at fault the more the defendant must suffer, not only in his own self-respect, but in the regard of those about him. The curious gaze of the spectators, the intent look of the jurors, the disgust of the judge upon the bench, the flippancy34 of the witness on the stand, all have influences which would make many innocent people show signs of guilt35. Upon any one really at fault all these influences must be still more depressing.
It is a common saying among lawyers that a woman divorced from her husband, on no matter how slight cause, is pretty sure to go to the bad thereafter. This is not necessarily an indication, so the lawyers say, that the woman is at fault, but that the mental strain to which she has been subjected, the strain upon her self-respect, is greater than poor humanity is equal to. What the subsequent results are upon her in society we all know. The present ruler of England has decided that no divorced woman, no matter in what country her divorce was obtained, shall ever appear at court. The rule seems cruel, but social results certainly appear to justify36 it.{265}
If there are children in the case, as usually there are—for somehow people without children seldom appear in the divorce courts—if there are children, the results upon them are worse than upon either the complainant or defendant. The principal good influence children are subject to is that of home. A disagreement between father and mother naturally interrupts this. An absolute break between the parents cannot fail to immediately have the worst possible effects upon the children. All children—except yours and mine—are at times brutes37. There are no worse tale-tellers, no worse back-biters, no worse sayers of cruel things, than little children. It is not that they are unusually wicked or savage38 by nature, but insufficient39 training, lack of self-restraint, lack of adult sense of propriety40, causes the tongue to say whatever is in the heart; and any adult who is obliged to keep a watch upon his own tongue should be able through sympathy to imagine the savagery41 which will be inflicted42 upon the children of divorced or divorcing people by their associates. However disobedient or irreverent children may be to their parents, the filial instinct exists in all of them, and a stab at either parent is felt most keenly by the children.
The ordinary consolations44 of a person wounded through the heart of another are denied the child. It has neither religion nor philosophy, nor even stoicism, to support it. It must suffer keenly,{266} and when it looks for consolation43 or desires consolation, where is it to go, when the two authors of its being, whom it has been taught to regard with equal respect, are at difference, and each is ready to accuse the other and belittle45 the other? The child of a divorced person is a marked object of curiosity in the society of children, whether in neighborhood parties or at school or Sunday-school, or even in church. The slightest quarrel brings the inevitable46 taunt47 that “your mother ran away from your father,” or “your father is in love with somebody else’s mother,” or “you haven’t any father now,” or something of the kind. Only a short time ago the newspapers of the United States recorded the suicide of a child of nine years, who had sought death to avoid the torment48 of being twitted with the separation of its parents.
Four lines of one of Pope’s poems, which probably are familiar to every one, indicate the general effect of divorced persons upon society:
“Vice is a monster of such hideous49 mien50
That to be hated needs but to be seen;
But seen too oft, familiar with its face,
We first endure, then pity, then embrace.”
The report that any person has obtained a divorce for any cause but the most serious generally sends a shudder51 through any American social circle which calls itself respectable. Even husbands and wives whose own marital experiences have{267} not been as joyous52 as was expected, are shocked by the legal disruption of a family—the spectacle of the wifeless husband whose wife really lives, or the woman without mate or protector whose husband nevertheless is not yet dead. But the force of the shock gradually weakens through frequent meetings with either party. The faults of the absent member are recalled, the good points of the alleged53 culprit are also recalled, and little by little excuses are made, until the change is regarded as coolly as the dissolution of a business copartnership. Unfortunately, too, the parties to a divorce are often brilliant members of the society in which they have moved, for the liveliest persons are generally the most discontented. The unrest of some phases of social life, the desire to be less confined at home, and to be more in general and congenial company, has a great deal to do with bringing about divorce, much though the guilty parties may deny it, and the persons who most frequently appear in the divorce courts are those who have been the most popular in their respective social sets.
This is bad enough, but it is only the beginning of the evil. What man has done man—or woman—may do, is as true of evil as of good. If Mr. A or Mrs. B has escaped a lot of apparent marital trouble by divorce, why should not Mr. and Mrs. C do likewise? They meant well—this is an admission which most people sooner or{268} later make in favor of everybody not absolutely fiendish—they failed. Why should they not try again? Then besides, they once more have their freedom, and the longing54 to be free is strong enough in the animal portion of any one’s nature to rise and trample55 down everything else, if it is at all encouraged. Little by little, yet very rapidly, contemplation of the problem of divorce discourages efforts towards self-improvement and the perfection of marital life. It is a benumber and deadener of every honorable conjugal56 impulse. To endeavor to decide between two evils is an experience which is demoralizing to any one; to decide between evil and good, when the good seems no more desirable than the evil, is a great deal worse. Yet this is the mental and moral condition of every one still married who contemplates57 divorce as a possible release from relations which are unsatisfactory, yet which might be made all that they should be.
The effect of association with divorced people—and there is no grade of society which does not contain them—is especially deplorable upon young people of marriageable age. The veriest heathen who has studied the influences of marriage will admit that the rising generation needs greater seriousness in contemplating58 wedlock. But what can be expected of any good-natured, well-meaning, thoughtless, careless, pleasure-loving, selfish young man or girl—and nearly{269} all young people are fairly described by these adjectives—who, while wondering whether or no to propose to, or accept, some attractive person of the opposite sex, is continually reminded by certain facts and incidents that if the bond becomes irksome it may be broken at will?
Some husbands and wives fight like cats and dogs, but in spite of it all, thank God, they still dearly love their children. What man or woman within the pale of decency59 would give a daughter in marriage with the thought that she might be put away by her husband at some time for some cause recognized by the courts of Utah, or Chicago, or Indiana, as sufficient for divorce? What parent will allow a son to mate with a girl who might possibly weary of him, release herself through legal measures and become the wife of some other man?
Physicians and spiritual directors agree that persistent60 thought upon the lower developments and interests of the marriage relation are extremely injurious to human character. What other phases of married life can be much dwelt upon by the mind of any one who thinks at all of the possibility of divorce for any cause but the most serious? The relationship thus regarded is so nearly that of the animals that love, so far as it has existed, must be brought down to the level of passion, and passion afterward61 to that of lust62, and lust in turn down to appetite,{270} until beings, who once had hopes and aspirations63 and longings65 which, in spite of being unfortified by knowledge and principle, were noble in themselves, place themselves practically on the level of the beasts. According to managers and chaplains of great prisons there is hope of reform for almost any criminal whose offences were committed only through what are called the selfish instincts, by which is generally meant destructiveness and theft. But these same experts in crime are utterly hopeless of the reformation of any one whose sexual instincts have become depraved or even inverted66. Yet it is difficult for any one to go through a divorce case, or to think steadily67 upon the possibility of divorce, without such a deterioration of sexual feeling, impulse, and aspiration64. What hope can there be that such persons will occupy a respectable position in society in the future?
Can divorce be made less popular and easy? Yes. How? By a constitutional amendment68, against which no respectable citizen not a lawyer would dare to vote, that the national government shall make a divorce law to replace those of the States. Tricks of, and concessions69 to divorce lawyers cannot be slipped through Congress as easily as through a State Legislature. Congress is up to a great many dirty jobs, but not of that kind.
Congress can’t make a stringent70 divorce law,{271} say some lawyers, but perhaps these gentlemen have their own reasons for saying so. Ex-Attorney-General Russell, of New York, who has looked into the subject closely, recently said such a constitutional amendment was possible, because more than two-thirds of the States already are inclined to limit divorce to the gravest cause only.
In the framing and adoption71 of such a constitutional amendment, Congress would have support from a source whose importance cannot be overestimated72. I mean the Church; not any one denomination73, but all—Mormons excepted. Bishop74 Foss, of the Methodist Church, said recently that his denomination could be counted upon to support such a movement; Bishop Whittaker, of the Protestant Episcopal Church, spoke75 in similar strain. The Catholic Church recognizes but one cause of divorce, and the Hebrews are equally rigid76. Indeed, all creeds77 agree on this subject, and when the amendment comes up for vote or ratification78 the influence of such “Church union” cannot be combatted—much less overcome.
The effect of a divorce law upon the community should be like that of a burned bridge to a lot of soldiers who have just crossed it. With no possibility of going back, there is every inducement to go ahead and make the best of whatever is before.
点击
收听单词发音
收听单词发音 |
1
fully
|
|
| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
2
mischief
|
|
| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
3
omnipotence
|
|
| n.全能，万能，无限威力 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
4
rev
|
|
| v.发动机旋转，加快速度 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
5
undesirable
|
|
| adj.不受欢迎的，不良的，不合意的，讨厌的；n.不受欢迎的人，不良分子 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
6
asunder
|
|
| adj.分离的，化为碎片 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
7
mutual
|
|
| adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
8
partnership
|
|
| n.合作关系，伙伴关系 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
9
Founder
|
|
| n.创始者，缔造者 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
10
watchful
|
|
| adj.注意的，警惕的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
11
wedlock
|
|
| n.婚姻，已婚状态 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
12
stimulus
|
|
| n.刺激，刺激物，促进因素，引起兴奋的事物 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
13
marital
|
|
| adj.婚姻的，夫妻的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
14
ascertained
|
|
| v.弄清，确定，查明( ascertain的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
15
incompatibility
|
|
| n.不兼容 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
16
insanity
|
|
| n.疯狂，精神错乱；极端的愚蠢，荒唐 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
17
improvidence
|
|
| n.目光短浅 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
18
proceedings
|
|
| n.进程，过程，议程；诉讼(程序)；公报 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
19
deterioration
|
|
| n.退化；恶化；变坏 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
20
affected
|
|
| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
21
wedded
|
|
| adj.正式结婚的；渴望…的，执著于…的v.嫁，娶，（与…）结婚( wed的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
22
repent
|
|
| v.悔悟，悔改，忏悔，后悔 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
23
adherents
|
|
| n.支持者，拥护者( adherent的名词复数 )；党羽；徒子徒孙 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
24
previously
|
|
| adv.以前，先前（地） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
25
decided
|
|
| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
26
hatred
|
|
| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
27
materialism
|
|
| n.［哲］唯物主义，唯物论；物质至上 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
28
callousness
|
|
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
29
defendant
|
|
| n.被告；adj.处于被告地位的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
30
impartial
|
|
| adj.(in,to)公正的，无偏见的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
31
judicial
|
|
| adj.司法的，法庭的，审判的，明断的，公正的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
32
violation
|
|
| n.违反(行为)，违背(行为)，侵犯 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
33
utterly
|
|
| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
34
flippancy
|
|
| n.轻率；浮躁；无礼的行动 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
35
guilt
|
|
| n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
36
justify
|
|
| vt.证明…正当(或有理)，为…辩护 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
37
brutes
|
|
| 兽( brute的名词复数 )； 畜生； 残酷无情的人； 兽性 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
38
savage
|
|
| adj.野蛮的；凶恶的，残暴的；n.未开化的人 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
39
insufficient
|
|
| adj.(for，of)不足的，不够的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
40
propriety
|
|
| n.正当行为；正当；适当 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
41
savagery
|
|
| n.野性 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
42
inflicted
|
|
| 把…强加给，使承受，遭受( inflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
43
consolation
|
|
| n.安慰，慰问 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
44
consolations
|
|
| n.安慰，慰问( consolation的名词复数 )；起安慰作用的人（或事物） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
45
belittle
|
|
| v.轻视，小看，贬低 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
46
inevitable
|
|
| adj.不可避免的，必然发生的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
47
taunt
|
|
| n.辱骂，嘲弄；v.嘲弄 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
48
torment
|
|
| n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
49
hideous
|
|
| adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
50
mien
|
|
| n.风采；态度 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
51
shudder
|
|
| v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
52
joyous
|
|
| adj.充满快乐的；令人高兴的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
53
alleged
|
|
| a.被指控的，嫌疑的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
54
longing
|
|
| n.（for）渴望 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
55
trample
|
|
| vt.踩，践踏；无视，伤害，侵犯 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
56
conjugal
|
|
| adj.婚姻的，婚姻性的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
57
contemplates
|
|
| 深思，细想，仔细考虑( contemplate的第三人称单数 )； 注视，凝视； 考虑接受（发生某事的可能性）； 深思熟虑，沉思，苦思冥想 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
58
contemplating
|
|
| 深思，细想，仔细考虑( contemplate的现在分词 )； 注视，凝视； 考虑接受（发生某事的可能性）； 深思熟虑，沉思，苦思冥想 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
59
decency
|
|
| n.体面，得体，合宜，正派，庄重 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
60
persistent
|
|
| adj.坚持不懈的，执意的；持续的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
61
afterward
|
|
| adv.后来；以后 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
62
lust
|
|
| n.性(淫)欲；渴(欲)望；vi.对…有强烈的欲望 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
63
aspirations
|
|
| 强烈的愿望( aspiration的名词复数 )； 志向； 发送气音； 发 h 音 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
64
aspiration
|
|
| n.志向，志趣抱负；渴望；(语)送气音；吸出 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
65
longings
|
|
| 渴望，盼望( longing的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
66
inverted
|
|
| adj.反向的，倒转的v.使倒置，使反转( invert的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
67
steadily
|
|
| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
68
amendment
|
|
| n.改正，修正，改善，修正案 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
69
concessions
|
|
| n.（尤指由政府或雇主给予的）特许权( concession的名词复数 )；承认；减价；（在某地的）特许经营权 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
70
stringent
|
|
| adj.严厉的；令人信服的；银根紧的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
71
adoption
|
|
| n.采用，采纳，通过；收养 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
72
overestimated
|
|
| 对（数量）估计过高，对…作过高的评价( overestimate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
73
denomination
|
|
| n.命名，取名，(度量衡、货币等的)单位 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
74
bishop
|
|
| n.主教，（国际象棋）象 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
75
spoke
|
|
| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
76
rigid
|
|
| adj.严格的，死板的；刚硬的，僵硬的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
77
creeds
|
|
| （尤指宗教）信条，教条( creed的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
78
ratification
|
|
| n.批准，认可 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
| 欢迎访问英文小说网 |