OUR BABY.

Mr. Martin has gone away. He's gone to Europe or Hartford or some such place. Anyway I hope we'll never see him again. The expressman says that part of him went in the stage and part of him was sent in a box by express, but I don't know whether it is true or not.

I never could see the use of babies. We have one at our house that belongs to mother and she thinks everything of it. I can't see anything wonderful about it. All it can do is to cry and pull hair and kick. It hasn't half the sense of my dog, and it can't even chase a cat. Mother and Sue¹ wouldn't have a dog in the house, but they are always going on about the baby and saying "ain't it perfectly² sweet!" Why, I wouldn't change Sitting Bull³ for a dozen babies, or at least I wouldn't change him if I had him. After the time he bit Mr. Martin's leg father said "that brute⁴ sha'n't stay here another day." I don't know what became of him, but the next morning he was gone and I have never seen him since. I have had great sorrows though people think I'm only a boy.
 
The worst thing about a baby is that you're expected to take care of him and then you get scolded afterwards. Folks say, "Here, Jimmy! just hold the baby a minute, that's a good boy," and then as soon as you have got it they say, "Don't do that my goodness gracious⁵ the boy will kill the child hold it up straight you good-for-nothing little wretch⁶." It is pretty hard to do your best and then be scolded for it, but that's the way boys are treated. Perhaps after I'm dead folks will wish they had done differently.

Last Saturday mother and Sue went out to make calls and told me to stay home and take care of the baby. There was a base-ball match but what did they care? They didn't want to go to it and so it made no difference whether I went to it or not. They said they would be gone only a little while, and that if the baby waked up I was to play with it and keep it from crying and be sure you don't let it swallow any pins. Of course I had to do it. The baby was sound asleep when they went out, so I left it just for a few minutes while I went to see if there was any pie in the pantry. If I was a woman I wouldn't be so dreadfully suspicious⁷ as to keep everything locked up. When I got back up-stairs again the baby was awake and was howling like he was full of pins; so I gave him the first thing that came handy to keep him quiet. It happened to be a bottle of French polish with a sponge⁸ in it on the end of a wire[Pg 48] that Sue uses to black her shoes, because girls are too lazy to use a regular blacking-brush.

The baby stopped crying as soon as I gave him the bottle and I sat down to read. The next time I looked at him he'd got out the sponge and about half his face was jet-black. This was a nice fix, for I knew nothing could get the black off his face, and when mother came home she would say the baby was spoiled and I had done it.

Now I think an all black baby is ever so much more stylish⁹ than an all white baby, and when I saw the baby was part black I made up my mind that if I blacked it all over it would be worth more than it ever had been and perhaps mother would be ever so much pleased. So I hurried up and gave it a good coat of black. You should have seen how that baby shined! The polish dried just as soon as it was put on, and I had just time to get the baby dressed again when mother and Sue came in.

I wouldn't lower myself to repeat their unkind language. When you've been called a murdering little villain¹⁰ and an unnatural¹¹ son it will wrinkle¹² in your heart for ages. After what they said to me I didn't even seem to mind about father but went up-stairs with him almost as if I was going to church or something that wouldn't hurt much.

The baby is beautiful and shiny, though the doctor says it will wear off in a few years. Nobody shows any gratitude[Pg 49] for all the trouble I took, and I can tell you it isn't easy to black a baby without getting it into his eyes and hair. I sometimes think that it is hardly worth while to live in this cold and unfeeling world.

1 sue   

vt.控告，起诉；vi.请求，追求，起诉

参考例句：

• If you don't pay me the money,I'll sue you.如果你不付给我钱，我就告你。
• The war criminals sue for peace.战犯求和。

2 perfectly   

adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
• Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。

3 bull   

n.公牛，买进证券投机图利者，看涨的人

参考例句：

• It's only a hair off a bull's back to them.这对他们来说，不过九牛一毛。
• Many dogs closed around the bull.很多狗渐渐地把那只牛围了起来。

4 brute   

n.野兽，兽性

参考例句：

• The aggressor troops are not many degrees removed from the brute.侵略军简直象一群野兽。
• That dog is a dangerous brute.It bites people.那条狗是危险的畜牲，它咬人。

5 gracious   

adj.亲切的，客气的，宽厚的，仁慈的

参考例句：

• She was a very gracious lady.她是一位非常和蔼可亲的女士。
• She was gracious enough to show us round her home.她彬彬有礼地领我们参观了她的家。

6 wretch   

n.可怜的人，不幸的人；卑鄙的人

参考例句：

• You are really an ungrateful wretch to complain instead of thanking him.你不但不谢他，还埋怨他，真不知好歹。
• The dead husband is not the dishonoured wretch they fancied him.死去的丈夫不是他们所想象的不光彩的坏蛋。

7 suspicious   

adj.可疑的，容易引起怀疑的，猜疑的，疑心的

参考例句：

• A man was hanging about the house in a suspicious manner.一个男人在房子周围可疑地荡来荡去。
• He's so suspicious he would distrust his own mother.他这个人疑心太重，连自己的母亲也不相信。

8 sponge   

n.海绵，海绵状的东西；v.用海绵擦拭，吸收掉， 抹掉

参考例句：

• The child is screwing water out of a sponge.小孩正把海绵中的水挤出来。
• You should try to sponge out the memory of the accident.你该努力抹除那次事故的记忆。

9 stylish   

adj.流行的，时髦的；漂亮的，气派的

参考例句：

• He's a stylish dresser.他是个穿着很有格调的人。
• What stylish women are wearing in Paris will be worn by women all over the world.巴黎女性时装往往会引导世界时装潮流。

10 villain   

n.反派演员，反面人物；恶棍；问题的起因

参考例句：

• He was cast as the villain in the play.他在戏里扮演反面角色。
• The man who played the villain acted very well.扮演恶棍的那个男演员演得很好。

11 unnatural   

adj.不自然的；反常的

参考例句：

• Did her behaviour seem unnatural in any way?她有任何反常表现吗？
• She has an unnatural smile on her face.她脸上挂着做作的微笑。

12 wrinkle   

n.皱纹；vi.（使）起皱纹，皱眉；vt.使起皱纹

参考例句：

• This pair of pants does not wrinkle.这条裤子不会皱。
• Too much sunbathing will wrinkle your skin.皮肤晒得过分就能起皱纹。