THE OLD, OLD STORY.

We've had a most awful time in our house. There have been ever so many robberies¹ in town, and everybody has been almost afraid to go to bed.

The robbers³ broke into old Dr⁴. Smith's house one night. Dr. Smith is one of those doctors that don't give any medicine except cold water, and he heard the robbers, and came down-stairs in his nigown, with a big umbrella in his hand, and said, "If you don't leave this minute, I'll shoot you." And the robbers they said, "Oh no! that umbrella isn't loaded" and they took him and tied his hands and feet, and put a mustard-plaster over his mouth, so that he couldn't yell⁵, and then they filled the wash-tub with water, and made him sit down in it, and told him that now he'd know how it was himself, and went away and left him, and he nearly froze to death before morning.

Father wasn't a bit afraid of the robbers, but he said he'd fix something so that he would wake up if they got in the house. So he put a coal-scuttle full of coal about half-way up the stairs, and tied a string across the upper hall just at the head of the stairs. He said that if a robber²[Pg 84] tried to come up-stairs he would upset the coal-scuttle, and make a tremendous⁶ noise, and that if he did happen not to upset it, he would certainly fall over the string at the top of the stairs. He told us that if we heard the coal-scuttle go off in the night, Sue⁷ and mother and I were to open the windows and scream, while he got up and shot⁸ the robber.

The first night, after father had fixed⁹ everything nicely for the robbers, he went to bed, and then mother told him that she had forgotten to lock the back door. So father he said, "Why can't women sometimes remember something," and he got up and started to go down-stairs in the dark. He forgot all about the string, and fell over it with an awful crash, and then began to fall down-stairs. When he got half-way down he met the coal-scuttle, and that went down the rest of the way with him, and you never in your life heard anything like the noise the two of them[Pg 85] made. We opened our windows, and cried murder and fire and thieves, and some men that were going by rushed in and picked father up, and would have taken him off to jail¹⁰, he was that dreadfully black, if I hadn't told them who he was.

But this was not the awful time that I mentioned when I began to write, and if I don't begin to tell you about it, I sha'n't have any room left on my paper. Mother gave a dinner-party last Thursday. There were ten ladies and[Pg 86] twelve gentlemen, and one of them was that dreadful¹¹ Mr. Martin with the cork¹² leg, and other improvements¹³, as Mr. Travers calls them. Mother told me not to let her see me in the dining-room, or she'd let me know; and I meant to mind, only I forgot, and went into the dining-room, just to look at the table, a few minutes before dinner.

I was looking at the raw oysters¹⁴, when Jane—that's the girl that waits on the table—said, "Run, Master Jimmy; here's your mother coming." Now I hadn't time enough to run, so I just dived under the table, and[Pg 87] thought I'd stay there for a minute or two, until mother went out of the room again.

It wasn't only mother that came in, but the whole company, and they sat down to dinner without giving me any chance to get out. I tell you, it was a dreadful situation. I had only room enough to sit still, and nearly every time I moved I hit somebody's foot. Once I tried to turn around, and while I was doing it I hit my head against the table so hard that I thought I had upset something, and was sure that people would know I was there. But fortunately everybody thought that somebody else had joggled, so I escaped for that time.

It was awfully¹⁵ tiresome¹⁶ waiting for those people to get through dinner. It seemed as if they could never eat enough, and when they were not eating, they were all[Pg 88] talking at once. It taught me a lesson against gluttony, and nobody will ever find me sitting for hours and hours at the dinner-table. Finally I made up my mind that I must have some amusement, and as Mr. Martin's cork-leg was close by me, I thought I would have some fun with that.

There was a big darning-needle in my pocket, that I kept there in case I should want to use it for anything. I happened to think that Mr. Martin couldn't feel anything that was done to his cork-leg, and that it would be great fun to drive the darning-needle into it, and leave the end sticking out, so that people who didn't know that his leg was cork would see it, and think that he was suffering dreadfully, only he didn't know it. So I got out the needle, and jammed it into his leg with both hands, so that it would go in good and deep.
WASN'T THERE A CIRCUS IN THAT DINING-ROOM!WASN'T THERE A CIRCUS IN THAT DINING-ROOM!

Mr. Martin gave a yell that made my hair run cold, and sprang up, and nearly upset the table, and fell over his chair backward¹⁷, and wasn't there a circus in that dining-room! I had made a mistake about the leg, and run the needle into his real one.

I was dragged out from under the table, and— But I needn't say what happened to me after that. It was "the old, old story," as Sue says when she sings a foolish song about getting up at five o'clock in the morning—as if she'd ever been awake at that time in her whole life!

1 robberies   

n.抢劫案( robbery的名词复数 )；明抢；敲竹杠；明目张胆地索取高价

参考例句：

• He said he teamed up with Miller in a number of robberies. 他说他和米勒合作搞了一系列的抢劫。 来自辞典例句
• He was arrested in connection with a series of armed bank robberies. 因受一系列武装抢劫银行案的牵连，他被捕了。 来自辞典例句

2 robber   

n.抢劫者，强盗，盗贼

参考例句：

• The robber told the woman to come across with her purse.拦路抢劫者勒令那个女人把钱包交出来。
• The robber tried to run away but a man tackled him.强盗企图逃跑，但一个人把他抓住了。

3 robbers   

n.抢劫者，强盗，盗贼( robber的名词复数 )；盗匪

参考例句：

• The robbers fled empty-handed. 抢劫犯一无所获地逃走了。
• The policeman discharged his gun at the fleeing robbers. 警察向逃跑的强盗开了枪。 来自《简明英汉词典》

4 Dr   

n.医生，大夫；博士(缩)（= Doctor）

参考例句：

• Dr.Williams instructs us in botany.威廉博士教我们植物学。
• The ward of the hospital is in the charge of Dr.Green.医院的这间病房由格林医生负责。

5 yell   

vi./n.号叫，叫喊

参考例句：

• This gave them a chance to yell.这给了他们大声喊叫的机会。
• When his schoolmate made the last goal,the boy gave out with an untrammeled yell.那个男孩在他的同学踢进最后一球时不禁纵声欢呼。

6 tremendous   

adj.巨大的，极大的；很好的，非常好的

参考例句：

• This book was the outcome of a tremendous amount of scientific work.这本书是大量科学研究工作的成果。
• There is a tremendous difference between them.他们之间有着极大的差别。

7 sue   

vt.控告，起诉；vi.请求，追求，起诉

参考例句：

• If you don't pay me the money,I'll sue you.如果你不付给我钱，我就告你。
• The war criminals sue for peace.战犯求和。

8 shot   

n.炮弹，射击，射手；v.射击，发出，发芽；vbl.射击，发出，发芽

参考例句：

• He shot a wild duck.他射中一只野鸭。
• All the children shot out their hands for the money.所有的孩子突然伸出手来要钱。

9 fixed   

adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的

参考例句：

• Have you two fixed on a date for the wedding yet?你们俩选定婚期了吗？
• Once the aim is fixed,we should not change it arbitrarily.目标一旦确定，我们就不应该随意改变。

10 jail   

n.监狱，看守所；vt.监禁，拘留

参考例句：

• The castle had been used as a jail.这城堡曾用作监狱。
• If she carries on shoplifting,she'll end up in jail.她如果还在店铺里偷东西，最终会被抓进监狱的。

11 dreadful   

adj.糟透了的，极端的，可怕的，令人畏惧的

参考例句：

• I cannot imagine what to do in this dreadful situation.我不能想像在这么糟的情况下该怎么办。
• I must apologize for the dreadful mistake I made.我为我所犯的严重错误深表歉意。

12 cork   

n.软木，软木塞

参考例句：

• We heard the pop of a cork.我们听见瓶塞砰的一声打开。
• Cork is a very buoyant material.软木是极易浮起的材料。

13 improvements   

增加或修改( improvement的名词复数 )； 改进； 改善； 改良

参考例句：

• improvements in efficiency at the factory 工厂效率的提高
• They've spent a lot of money on home improvements. 他们花了很多钱装修家居。

14 oysters   

牡蛎( oyster的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• We don't have oysters tonight, but the crayfish are very good. 我们今晚没有牡蛎供应。但小龙虾是非常好。
• She carried a piping hot grill of oysters and bacon. 她端出一盘滚烫的烤牡蛎和咸肉。

15 awfully   

adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地

参考例句：

• Agriculture was awfully neglected in the past.过去农业遭到严重忽视。
• I've been feeling awfully bad about it.对这我一直感到很难受。

16 tiresome   

adj.令人疲劳的，令人厌倦的

参考例句：

• His doubts and hesitations were tiresome.他的疑惑和犹豫令人厌烦。
• He was tiresome in contending for the value of his own labors.他老为他自己劳动的价值而争强斗胜，令人生厌。

17 backward   

adv./adj.向后地；相反地；退步地

参考例句：

• Because of his long illness,Tom is backward in his studies.因为汤姆长期生病，所以在学习中成绩落后。
• The rainy season is backward this year.今年雨季来得晚。