The Boulevard had been roped off by the police by eight o'clock, and the pavements were swarming7 with citizens, many of whom had camped there all night in order to witness this tremendous spectacle. As the sun surged pitilessly higher, the temperature became painful. The asphalt streets grew soft under the twingeing feet of the Pan-Antis, and waves of heat radiation shimmered8 along the vista9 of the magnificent highway. To keep themselves cheerful the legions of Chuff sang their new Gooseberry Anthem10, written by Miss Theodolinda Chuff (the Bishop's daughter) to the air of "Marching Through Georgia." The rousing strains rose in unison11 from thousands of earnest throats. The majesty12 of the song cannot be comprehended unless the reader will permit himself to hum to the familiar tune13:—
Root up every gooseberry where Satan winks14 his eye—
We will make the sinful earth a credit by and by:
Europe may be stubborn, but we'll legislate15 her dry,
And then we'll tackle the planets.
Chorus:
Hurrah16! Hurrah! We're anti-everything—
Hurrah! Hurrah! An end to joy we sing:
Come let's make life doleful and then death will lose its sting,
Happiness is only a habit!
Come then, all ye citizens, and join our stern Verein:
We're the ones that put the crimp in whiskey, beer and wine;
Booze is gone and soon we'll make tobacco fall in line,
And then we'll tackle the planets.
Chorus:
Hurrah! Hurrah! We're anti-everything—
Hurrah! Hurrah! An end to joy we sing:
Come let's make life doleful and then death will lose its sting,
Happiness is only a habit!
We'll abolish every fruit attempting to ferment17—
We will alter Nature's laws and teach her to repent18:
Let the fatal gooseberry proceed where cocktails19 went,
And then we'll tackle the planets.
Chorus as before.
From the beginning of the day, however, it became apparent that there was a concerted movement under way to heckle the Pan-Antis. As the Gooseberry Anthem came to an end a number of men were observed on the skyline of a tall building, wig-wagging with flags. All eyes were turned aloft, and much speculation20 ensued among the waiting thousands as to the meaning of the signals. Then a cry of anger burst from one of the section leaders, who was acquainted with the Morse code. The flags were spelling WHAT A DAY FOR A DRINK! All down the Boulevard the white and gold banners tossed in anger. To those above, the mass of agitated21 chuffs looked like a field of daisies in a wind.
Shortly afterward22 the familiar buzz of airplane motors was heard, and three silver-gray machines came coasting above the channel of the Boulevard. They flew low, and it was easy to read the initials C.P.H. painted on the nether23 surface of their wings. Over the front ranks of the parade (which was beginning to fall in line) they executed a series of fantastic twirls. Then, as though at a concerted signal, they dropped a cloud of paper slips which came eddying24 down through the sunlight. The chuffs scrambled25 for them, wondering. A sullen26 murmur27 rose when the messages were read. They ran thus:—
TO MAKE GOOSEBERRY WINE
(Paste This in Your Hat),
Ten quarts of gooseberries, thoroughly28 crushed;
Over these, five quarts of water are flushed.
Twice round the clock let the fluid remain,
Then through a sieve29 the blithe30 mixture you strain,
Adding some sugar (not less than ten pound)
And stirring it carefully, round and around.
To the pulp31 of the fruit that remains32 in the sieve
A gallon of pure filtered water you give:
This you let stand for a dozen of hours,
Then add to the other to strengthen its powers.
Shut up the whole for the space of a day
And it will ferment in a riotous33 way.
When you see by the froth that the fluid grows thicker
You, should skim it (with glee) for it's turning to liquor!
While it ferments34, please continue to skim:
At the end, you may murmur the Bartender's Hymn35.
This makes a booze that is potent36 enough—
Seal in a hogshead—and hide it from Chuff!
Corporation for the
Perpetuation37 of Happiness.
The Pan-Antis were still muttering furiously over this daring act of defiance38 when a shrill39 bugle-call pealed40 down the avenue. Bishop Chuff rode out into the middle of the street on his famous coal-black charger, John Barleycorn. There was a long hush41. Then, with a wave of his hand, he gave the signal. One hundred bands burst into the somber42 and clanging strains of "The Face on the Bar-Room Floor." The great parade had begun.
From a house-top farther up the street Dunraven Bleak43 watched them come. He had taken Quimbleton's word seriously, and with his usual enterprise had rented a roof overlooking the Boulevard, on which several members of the Balloon staff were prepared to deal with any startling events that might occur. A battery of telephones had been installed on the house-top; Bleak himself sat with apparatus44 clamped to his head like an operator at central. Two reporters were busy with paper and pencil; the cartoonist sat on the cornice, with legs swinging above two hundred feet of space, sketching45 the prodigious46 scene. The young lady editor of the Woman's Page was there, with opera glasses, noting down the "among those present."
It was an awe-inspiring spectacle. Between sidewalks jammed with silent and morose47 citizens, the Pan-Antis passed like a conquering army. The terrible Bishop, the man who had put military discipline into the ranks of his mighty48 organization, rode his horse as the Kaiser would have liked to ride entering Paris. His small, bitter, fanatical face wore a deeply carved sneer49. His great black beard flapped in the breeze, and he sang as he rode. Behind him came huge floats depicting50 in startling tableaux51 the hideous52 menace of the gooseberry. Bands blared and crashed. Then, rank on rank, as far as eye could see, followed the zealots in their garments of white. Each one, it was noticed, carried a neat knapsack. Huge tractors rumbled53 along, groaning54 beneath a tonnage of tracts55 which were shot into the watching crowd by pneumatic guns. Banners whipped and fluttered.
The sound of shrill chanting vibrated in the blazing air like a visible wave of power. These were conquerors56 of a nation, and they knew it. A former bartender, standing57 in the front of the crowd, caught Chuff's merciless gaze, wavered, and swooned. A retired58 distiller, sitting in the window of the Brass59 Rail Club, fell dead of apoplexy.
Bleak trembled with nervousness. Had Quimbleton hoaxed60 him? What could halt this mighty pageant61 now? He was about to telephone to his city editor to go ahead with the one o'clock edition as originally planned....
From the sky came a roar of engines that drowned for a moment the thundering echoes of the parade. The three gray planes, which had been circling far above, swooped62 down almost to a level with the tops of the buildings. One of these, a huge two-seated bomber63, passed directly over Bleak's head. He craned upward, and caught a glimpse of what he thought at first was a white pennant64 trailing over the bulwark65 of the cockpit. A snowy shag of whiskers came tossing down through the air and fell in his lap. It was Quimbleton's beard, torn from its moorings by the tug66 of wind-pressure. Bleak thrust it quickly in his pocket. As the great plane passed over the head of the parade, flying dangerously low, every face save that of the iron-willed Bishop was turned upward. But even in their curiosity the rigid67 discipline of the Pan-Antis prevailed. Now they were singing, to the tune of "The Old Gray Mare68."
Old John Barleycorn, he ain't what he used to be
AIN'T WHAT HE USED TO BE—
AIN'T WHAT HE USED TO BE!
Old John Barleycorn, he ain't what he used to be,
Many a year ago.
The great volume of gusty69 sound, hurled70 aloft by these thousands of sky-pointing mouths, created an air-pocket in which the bombing plane tilted71 dangerously. For a moment, Bleak, who was watching the plane, thought it was going to careen into a tail-spin and crash down fatally. Then he saw Quimbleton, still recognizable by an adhering shred72 of whisker, lean over the side of the fuselage.
A small dark object dropped through the air, fell with a loud POP on the street a few yards in front of the Bishop. A faint green vapor73 arose, misting for a moment the proud figures of Chuff and his horse. At the same instant the other two planes, throbbing74 down the line of the parade, discharged a rain of similar projectiles75 along the vacant strip of paving between the marching chuffs and the police-lined curb76. An eddying emerald fume77 filled the street, drifting with the brisk air down through all the ranks of the procession. There were shouts and screams; the clanging bands squawked discordantly78.
"Holy cat!" shouted the cartoonist—"Poison gas!"
"Nix!" said Bleak, revealing Quimbleton's secret in his excitement. "Gooseberry bombs. Every chuff that inhales79 it will be properly soused. Oh, boy, some story! Look at the Bish! He's got a snootful already—his face has turned black!"
"The whole crowd has turned black," said the cartoonist, almost falling off his perch80 in a frantic81 effort to see more clearly through the olive haze82 that filled the street.
It was true. Above the thousands of white figures, as they emerged from the intoxicating83 cloud-bank of gooseberry gas, grinned ghastly, inhuman84, blackened faces, with staring goggle85 eyes. The Bishop was most frightful86 of all. His horse was prancing87 and swaying wildly, and the Bishop's transformed features were diabolic. His whole profile had altered, seemed black and shapeless as the face of a tadpole88. The amazing truth burst upon Bleak. Chuff and his paraders were wearing gas-masks. These were what they had carried in their knapsacks. Indomitable Chuff, who had foreseen everything!
"Poor Quimbleton," said Bleak. "This will break his heart!"
"His neck too, I fancy," said one of the others, pointing to the sky, and indeed one of the three planes was seen falling tragically89 to earth behind the tower of the City Hall.
The cloud of gas was rapidly drifting off down the Boulevard, and through the exhilarating and delicious fog the Pan-Antis waved their defiant90 banners unscathed. The progress of the parade, however, was halted by the behavior of the Bishop's horse, for which no mask had been provided. The noble animal, under this sudden and extraordinary stimulus91, was almost human in its actions. At first it stood, whinneying sharply, and pawing the air with one forefoot—as though feeling for the brass rail, as one of Bleak's companions said. It raised its head proudly, with open mouth and expanded nostrils92. Then, dashing off across the broad street, it seemed eager to climb a lamp-post, and only the fierce restraint of the Bishop held it in. One of the chuffs (perhaps only lukewarm in loyalty), ran up and offered to give his mask to the horse, but was sternly motioned back to the ranks by the infuriated leader, who was wildly wrestling to gain control of the exuberant93 animal. At last the horse solved the problem by lying down in the street, on top of the Bishop, and going to sleep. An ambulance, marked Federal Home for Inebriates94, Cana, N.J., dashed up with shrilling95 gong. This had been arranged by Quimbleton, who had wired a requisition for an ambulance to remove one intoxicated96 bishop. As the Bishop was quite in command of his faculties97, the horse, after some delay, was hoisted98 into the ambulance instead. The Bishop was given a dusting, and the parade proceeded. The self-control of the police alone averted99 prolonged and frightful disorder100, for when the conduct of the horse was observed thousands of spectators fought desperately101 to get through the ropes and out into the fumes102 that still lingered in wisps and whorls of green vapor. Others tore off their coats and attempted to bag a few cubic inches of the gas in these garments. But the police, with a devotion to duty that was beyond praise, kept the mob in check and themselves bore the brunt of the lingering acid. Only one man, who leaped from an office-window with an improvised103 parachute, really succeeded in getting into the middle of the Boulevard, and he refused to be ejected on the ground that he was chief of the street-cleaning department. This department, by the way, was given a remarkable104 illustration of the fine public spirit of the citizens, for by three o'clock in the afternoon two hundred thousand applications had been received from those eager to act as volunteer street-cleaners and help scour105 the Boulevard after the passage of the great parade.
点击收听单词发音
1 bishop | |
n.主教,(国际象棋)象 | |
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2 throngs | |
n.人群( throng的名词复数 )v.成群,挤满( throng的第三人称单数 ) | |
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3 trolley | |
n.手推车,台车;无轨电车;有轨电车 | |
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4 suburban | |
adj.城郊的,在郊区的 | |
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5 crammed | |
adj.塞满的,挤满的;大口地吃;快速贪婪地吃v.把…塞满;填入;临时抱佛脚( cram的过去式) | |
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6 emblems | |
n.象征,标记( emblem的名词复数 ) | |
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7 swarming | |
密集( swarm的现在分词 ); 云集; 成群地移动; 蜜蜂或其他飞行昆虫成群地飞来飞去 | |
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8 shimmered | |
v.闪闪发光,发微光( shimmer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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9 vista | |
n.远景,深景,展望,回想 | |
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10 anthem | |
n.圣歌,赞美诗,颂歌 | |
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11 unison | |
n.步调一致,行动一致 | |
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12 majesty | |
n.雄伟,壮丽,庄严,威严;最高权威,王权 | |
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13 tune | |
n.调子;和谐,协调;v.调音,调节,调整 | |
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14 winks | |
v.使眼色( wink的第三人称单数 );递眼色(表示友好或高兴等);(指光)闪烁;闪亮 | |
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15 legislate | |
vt.制定法律;n.法规,律例;立法 | |
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16 hurrah | |
int.好哇,万岁,乌拉 | |
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17 ferment | |
vt.使发酵;n./vt.(使)激动,(使)动乱 | |
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18 repent | |
v.悔悟,悔改,忏悔,后悔 | |
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19 cocktails | |
n.鸡尾酒( cocktail的名词复数 );餐前开胃菜;混合物 | |
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20 speculation | |
n.思索,沉思;猜测;投机 | |
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21 agitated | |
adj.被鼓动的,不安的 | |
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22 afterward | |
adv.后来;以后 | |
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23 nether | |
adj.下部的,下面的;n.阴间;下层社会 | |
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24 eddying | |
涡流,涡流的形成 | |
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25 scrambled | |
v.快速爬行( scramble的过去式和过去分词 );攀登;争夺;(军事飞机)紧急起飞 | |
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26 sullen | |
adj.愠怒的,闷闷不乐的,(天气等)阴沉的 | |
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27 murmur | |
n.低语,低声的怨言;v.低语,低声而言 | |
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28 thoroughly | |
adv.完全地,彻底地,十足地 | |
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29 sieve | |
n.筛,滤器,漏勺 | |
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30 blithe | |
adj.快乐的,无忧无虑的 | |
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31 pulp | |
n.果肉,纸浆;v.化成纸浆,除去...果肉,制成纸浆 | |
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32 remains | |
n.剩余物,残留物;遗体,遗迹 | |
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33 riotous | |
adj.骚乱的;狂欢的 | |
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34 ferments | |
n.酵素( ferment的名词复数 );激动;骚动;动荡v.(使)发酵( ferment的第三人称单数 );(使)激动;骚动;骚扰 | |
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35 hymn | |
n.赞美诗,圣歌,颂歌 | |
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36 potent | |
adj.强有力的,有权势的;有效力的 | |
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37 perpetuation | |
n.永存,不朽 | |
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38 defiance | |
n.挑战,挑衅,蔑视,违抗 | |
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39 shrill | |
adj.尖声的;刺耳的;v尖叫 | |
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40 pealed | |
v.(使)(钟等)鸣响,(雷等)发出隆隆声( peal的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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41 hush | |
int.嘘,别出声;n.沉默,静寂;v.使安静 | |
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42 somber | |
adj.昏暗的,阴天的,阴森的,忧郁的 | |
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43 bleak | |
adj.(天气)阴冷的;凄凉的;暗淡的 | |
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44 apparatus | |
n.装置,器械;器具,设备 | |
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45 sketching | |
n.草图 | |
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46 prodigious | |
adj.惊人的,奇妙的;异常的;巨大的;庞大的 | |
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47 morose | |
adj.脾气坏的,不高兴的 | |
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48 mighty | |
adj.强有力的;巨大的 | |
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49 sneer | |
v.轻蔑;嘲笑;n.嘲笑,讥讽的言语 | |
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50 depicting | |
描绘,描画( depict的现在分词 ); 描述 | |
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51 tableaux | |
n.舞台造型,(由活人扮演的)静态画面、场面;人构成的画面或场景( tableau的名词复数 );舞台造型;戏剧性的场面;绚丽的场景 | |
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52 hideous | |
adj.丑陋的,可憎的,可怕的,恐怖的 | |
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53 rumbled | |
发出隆隆声,发出辘辘声( rumble的过去式和过去分词 ); 轰鸣着缓慢行进; 发现…的真相; 看穿(阴谋) | |
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54 groaning | |
adj. 呜咽的, 呻吟的 动词groan的现在分词形式 | |
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55 tracts | |
大片土地( tract的名词复数 ); 地带; (体内的)道; (尤指宣扬宗教、伦理或政治的)短文 | |
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56 conquerors | |
征服者,占领者( conqueror的名词复数 ) | |
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57 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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58 retired | |
adj.隐退的,退休的,退役的 | |
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59 brass | |
n.黄铜;黄铜器,铜管乐器 | |
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60 hoaxed | |
v.开玩笑骗某人,戏弄某人( hoax的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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61 pageant | |
n.壮观的游行;露天历史剧 | |
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62 swooped | |
俯冲,猛冲( swoop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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63 bomber | |
n.轰炸机,投弹手,投掷炸弹者 | |
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64 pennant | |
n.三角旗;锦标旗 | |
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65 bulwark | |
n.堡垒,保障,防御 | |
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66 tug | |
v.用力拖(或拉);苦干;n.拖;苦干;拖船 | |
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67 rigid | |
adj.严格的,死板的;刚硬的,僵硬的 | |
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68 mare | |
n.母马,母驴 | |
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69 gusty | |
adj.起大风的 | |
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70 hurled | |
v.猛投,用力掷( hurl的过去式和过去分词 );大声叫骂 | |
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71 tilted | |
v. 倾斜的 | |
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72 shred | |
v.撕成碎片,变成碎片;n.碎布条,细片,些少 | |
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73 vapor | |
n.蒸汽,雾气 | |
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74 throbbing | |
a. 跳动的,悸动的 | |
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75 projectiles | |
n.抛射体( projectile的名词复数 );(炮弹、子弹等)射弹,(火箭等)自动推进的武器 | |
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76 curb | |
n.场外证券市场,场外交易;vt.制止,抑制 | |
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77 fume | |
n.(usu pl.)(浓烈或难闻的)烟,气,汽 | |
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78 discordantly | |
adv.不一致地,不和谐地 | |
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79 inhales | |
v.吸入( inhale的第三人称单数 ) | |
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80 perch | |
n.栖木,高位,杆;v.栖息,就位,位于 | |
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81 frantic | |
adj.狂乱的,错乱的,激昂的 | |
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82 haze | |
n.霾,烟雾;懵懂,迷糊;vi.(over)变模糊 | |
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83 intoxicating | |
a. 醉人的,使人兴奋的 | |
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84 inhuman | |
adj.残忍的,不人道的,无人性的 | |
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85 goggle | |
n.瞪眼,转动眼珠,护目镜;v.瞪眼看,转眼珠 | |
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86 frightful | |
adj.可怕的;讨厌的 | |
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87 prancing | |
v.(马)腾跃( prance的现在分词 ) | |
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88 tadpole | |
n.[动]蝌蚪 | |
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89 tragically | |
adv. 悲剧地,悲惨地 | |
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90 defiant | |
adj.无礼的,挑战的 | |
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91 stimulus | |
n.刺激,刺激物,促进因素,引起兴奋的事物 | |
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92 nostrils | |
鼻孔( nostril的名词复数 ) | |
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93 exuberant | |
adj.充满活力的;(植物)繁茂的 | |
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94 inebriates | |
vt.使酒醉,灌醉(inebriate的第三人称单数形式) | |
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95 shrilling | |
(声音)尖锐的,刺耳的,高频率的( shrill的现在分词 ); 凄厉 | |
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96 intoxicated | |
喝醉的,极其兴奋的 | |
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97 faculties | |
n.能力( faculty的名词复数 );全体教职员;技巧;院 | |
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98 hoisted | |
把…吊起,升起( hoist的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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99 averted | |
防止,避免( avert的过去式和过去分词 ); 转移 | |
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100 disorder | |
n.紊乱,混乱;骚动,骚乱;疾病,失调 | |
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101 desperately | |
adv.极度渴望地,绝望地,孤注一掷地 | |
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102 fumes | |
n.(强烈而刺激的)气味,气体 | |
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103 improvised | |
a.即席而作的,即兴的 | |
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104 remarkable | |
adj.显著的,异常的,非凡的,值得注意的 | |
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105 scour | |
v.搜索;擦,洗,腹泻,冲刷 | |
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